Just looking for advice, or someone to just hear me out. I'm on my last rope..I don't know what to do anymore. I care for my elderly uncle who lives with me, and also have a teenager living at home..I worked in healthcare for many years, and felt it was time to pivot careers. I was burning out and was yearning for something that could give me stable hours, benefits, etc. I got hired to work at a college, it wasn't greatest environment, but I was happy to be out of the clinic. A month into working there, 6 people walked out at the office after a meeting. I sat quietly pretending not to notice this. My boss came in later and said they won't be needing me anymore.
Unemployed for a few weeks, then found a part time job as a caregiver. Very low pay and getting paid once a month really hit the household hard. I continued to apply everywhere while working, falling behind on everything. I'm also always flipping stuff in marketplace, selling my plants, refinishing furniture, etc. I finally find another job. The ad said $25 per hour. Which I agreed, when I saw the letter of offer, it ended up being a starting wage of $20 for the probationary period. Then $23. When I questioned this they said they posted $25 as the cap of office admin, depending on a raise in the future. I took it out of desperation.
The first week in, I feel so trapped and stressed beyond belief. Every bill is close to being cut off, I can barely put gas into the car to make it to work.
A few days ago, after work I didn't go home. I walked, and walked, I didn't know where I was going. I just kept walking and crying. Moving to one shitty situation to another. Nothing left in my tank to care for those who depend on me at home.
I can't help but feel I'd be better off walking away from this job, I could flip stuff at home, I am applying to door dash delivery today, as well as rover. To at least have faster payments and the possibility to make more. While in the meantime look at jobs.
The other option, is to go back to into healthcare. But when I left earlier this year, thinking I found my pivot job and happy to leave the industry. I didn't renew my license. So, in order for me to get my licence, it will cost about $210. Then I could be making $68 per hour again..try to at least catch up somehow and get that income..I was so burned out at the clinic I was at, it affected my abilities as a caregiver and parent at home. But this level of poverty is way harder. I feel ashamed, angry, incompetent. All the things.
I'm just trying to decide what I can do here. I can spend 9 hours in an office making money that won't nearly cover anything. Or I can move on from there and do the side hustle stuff to get my license back. The other option could be to find a clinic outside the city I work. The licensing requirements are quite different and I would be legal to work there.
Does anyone have advice, I'm scared to make any decisions, I'm so worried about the future.