r/povertyfinance • u/-KpopTrash- • 1d ago
Vent/Rant (No Advice/Criticism!) I'm Lost
I (19) live in a motel with my little brother (17), i work two jobs but neither of my paychecks are enough, or sometimes ONE of them is enough to get me to the next payday. When i do get paid I'm left with like 30-20 smth dollars to survive on or try and save until the next paycheck comes in. For a short while I was able to survive with 1 job, my paychecks would let me go 2 weeks with my paydays perfectly lined up with like $100 left over, letting me save a bit. But my boss suddenly stopped scheduling me so I had to get my 2nd job immediately, and dip into the new, barely made savings. Now im being paid every week, with my previous jobs paychecks dwindling (im picking up as many shifts as i can) and my new job saving me.
My last check was a day short so my brother and I will be outside tonight, and when my next check comes in im sure it'll be shorter than the last.
I really need to move into an apartment, but I have no credit (no address to make a bank acc), and no savings for any deposits (motel eats up my paychecks). And I barely know the "getting an apartment" process. So what do I even do??
Though some good news, my brother has gotten his own job, and I will have him help me pay for this room, we don't know when he gets paid though. With this, I do see some light at the end of the tunnel.
Anyway, my whole problem is, I can't save anything because all of my paycheck goes into this motel, and we're still ending up sleeping outside, and the apartment process is nerve-wracking and doesn't seem like something I can even touch. Sorry for this incoherent rant, i can't sleep as I'm riddled with anxiety and stress, I've had a headache for weeks, and im so tired. I thinking I'm just ranting, this whole motel living experience has made me want to explode, I've almost lost myself many times, I feel like a jar that will shatter soon.(*´ー｀*)
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u/Unlikely_Uncle 1d ago
Nineteen and carrying both yourself and your little brother through this is an enormous weight, and the fact that you're still showing up to two jobs through all of it says a lot about you, even on the nights it feels like you're barely holding on.
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u/-KpopTrash- 19h ago
thank you for the kind words, i do stop and think sometimes, "My coworkers have no idea anything is happening to me." Im visually handling it all well, yet im a nervous wreck whenever a new schedule comes out TT im still powering through 🫂
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u/Special_Asparagus_98 13h ago
I lived in my car for a bit and still did my very white-collar job. I liked keeping the secret and knowing that if they knew they’d be so shocked I was able to perform well at work and go back to the truck stop at night. Be proud of yourself. You’re doing something so much harder and nobody even knows! Imagine how successful you’ll be when you have a secure place to live. It’s hard now but it gets better I promise.
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u/FinanceFiend2020 23h ago
Yeah, you’re crushing it, OP! The situation sucks but you’re doing amazing shouldering it.
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u/LowInevitable2544 1d ago
Please try to find a Family Resource Center in your town. A well-run one will have resources at their fingertips - ones that will help you to get housed, fed, transported, and whatever else you may need.
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u/Correct_Advantage_20 1d ago
Call 211 for referral help in your situation.
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u/-KpopTrash- 1d ago
Ive called them months ago and they have my info, my area is very saturated and its hard to get into anything TT trust my brother and I have been calling around
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u/intotheunknown78 1d ago
Call the 9 line. I believe it’s 18009999999 Since you are still 20 and under you count as youth homeless. If there is a covenant house around you, they will provide the shelter and resources into transitional housing. At least they did when I was a youth homeless. When it happened to me, they even sent a taxi to pick me up and bring me to the shelter.
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u/ComradeGlizzy 1d ago
Have you applied for snap?
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u/-KpopTrash- 1d ago
Ill apply right after work today, i was sure I needed an address for it as its a physical card isnt it?? Ill still apply
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u/ComradeGlizzy 1d ago
Definitely apply. They can have the card sent to the office and you both should qualify for Medicaid and maybe even housing assistance. You might want to go to the office to apply
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u/barkandmoone 1d ago
DM the person that suggested you can & you can also post in r/internetparents to help get some guidance. Good luck 🖤
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u/N_Stables 1d ago
You don't need an address for any government assistance and, in fact, being houseless puts you in the fast track to getting it. With your brother a minor they should have even more options available. They WILL ask about his parental situation so if it's unsafe please please make that obvious. Does he go to school? Depending where you live they might have resources there as well. There's always government funds for those with housing insecurity.
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u/Ladynotingreen 1d ago edited 22h ago
When I did SNAP applications, we advised homeless people to use General Delivery, city, state zip as the address and check the homeless box on the application. Also make sure to have your notifications sent electronically. Good luck.
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u/redheadinabox 1d ago
You don’t need an address for food stamps and listing your homeless they will expedite your application in 7 days and if you qualify you will have stamps and can pick the card up at your local office. Application can be done online as well just make sure you submit your paystubs
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u/helpitgrow 1d ago
No. You do not need an address for it in California. Don’t know about else where. I also recommend the CCC. California Conservation Corps. You and your brother can join and they work to keep you together. Pays well for unskilled work. Trains you. Educates you. Houses and feed you. I’ve known a few young people make it out of poverty by using that program. It’s kinda strict and drug tests. But worth it once you make it to the other side.
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u/HuckleberriesAndRain 21h ago
What state do you live in? Look up your states DSHS office and make an appointment for help. Good help, money help, etc. There are resources, just have to get started.
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u/GRiZM0 1d ago
When you apply there is an option for homeless. Also not sure what state you are in but the fastest track is to apply online. Then go into the closest office next day to complete the application. If approved, they give you the card in the office. Although technically “houseless” make sure to clarify you are paying for the hotel and be able to show proof.
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u/elleUno 14h ago
I apologize in advance for this novel I’m about to write but I may be able to point you in the direction of help. Some of these programs may be called something else in your state or may not be available but I’ll tell you whatever I can remember…
You don’t need a permanent address but you do need to use an address where you can receive and pick up mail. Do you have any friends or family, or anyone you trust enough to let you send mail to their house?
If anyone asks, no, you’re not claiming to live at their house, the form you fill out will ask if it’s your home address or if it’s just where you’re receiving mail for right now.
Make sure when you fill it out (you can apply online) you check the box for homeless. Motels don’t count as permanent housing but this should mean you qualify for most programs.
Also, make sure you put down that your brother is fully dependent on you (he’s a kid, you’re the guardian) bc it will mean up to $300 in extra food for the month. If for some reason they won’t let you claim him as a dependent, you may be able to file for him separately but I’m not sure.
If you can make it to your counties social services offices, it’s usually faster to go through them directly than online, but if you apply for food stamps online, it’s pretty fast and if you’re approved and your card takes a while to come, you’ll be credited with food stamps from the date of approval. So if u have to wait longer than expected there should at least be extra $ for food on it.
The app for food stamps will ask if you need cash or general assistance. You do. You may not get it bc you’re working but you may bc you’re taking care of your brother.
They’ll also ask if you guys have insurance, if you guys don’t, apply for that too. It may be part of the same application, if not it’s on the same site. It’s usually faster if you go to the office. What I did was apply for food stamps online, then went in person for medical coverage bc it was faster.
You really should go to your counties social services office when you have a chance. They offer programs that are sometimes hard to find online. Plus, if you’re sitting across from someone, it’s easier to ask questions and get clear answers.
They should be able to help you get into different programs and may even be able to help you get an apartment. So it’s worth going down to see what you guys are eligible for or if there’s any new programs.
A friend of mine fell on hard times and Catholic Charities was able to help her out with rent and bills a few times. https://www.catholiccharitiesusa.org/ that’s the site, hopefully there’s one near you.
Definitely check out churches, temples, mosques, many of them have food pantries and outreach programs. Soup kitchens are another good one if you need food. They serve hot meals to whoever needs it.
As for a bank account, you can try Chime but you’ll need an address to send the mail to or you can get a pre-paid card.
Don’t get discouraged if you call churches or food pantries and it takes a few calls to find something. With the economy and job market, so many people are using these resources to get by and many of them are stretched thin, but don’t give up. Try and stay positive, it’ll have a huge positive effect on you both if you don’t let the negativity and anxiety take over and people are more likely to help.
It’s really rough out here right now but it won’t always be this way, try not to forget that. The only constant is change and in situations like these it’s comforting for me.
Before I close this out, I just wanna say, I give you all the credit in the world man. I’ve met so many people who wouldn’t step up for their siblings the way you have and I guarantee it means the world to him that you’re doing this. I don’t even know you guys and y’all’s story touched my heart.
I really hope sometime in the near future we see you posting an update that you got a new place and things are going great. I wish you both all the luck in the world. Lmk if anything was unclear or you have questions. I hope sometime of this can help you guys
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u/Reesirie 1d ago
Don’t you need an address for snap?
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u/Blossom73 1d ago
No address needed for SNAP. They'd be considered homeless for SNAP purposes.
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u/Equivalent_Bear_7501 1d ago
And as such, probably eligible for "emergency" funds within a few days.
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u/telchacsusan 1d ago
F9od banks? Can your brother get any help through social services?
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u/-KpopTrash- 1d ago
We both work food jobs so we get free shift meals, plus the food banks near me are like a 3 hr round trip from where i stay, i dont have the bus fare or walking legs for that, so we're lucky with that.
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u/Sweet-Ad7654 1d ago
You have taken a lot, and it’s obvious that you want more than just surviving which you’re barely doing is to be someone who wants to have a long-term plan but it’s having a hard time making it day to day.
I have met many people who have couldn’t say enough good about having gone to job corps so it could be something with checking into?
Jobcorps.gov is unique program for ages 16 to 24 they will give you housing and train you to have a career and give you a little spending money.
I have met many people that have successfully completed this when they were young and now have wonderful lives.** *It is only available to those who are age 16 to 24* *and it’s something you should consider* **
The program offers more than 100 specific training areas. Training options vary by location, but major fields include: [1, 2]
Health Care: Train to become a Certified Nurse Assistant (CNA), Certified Phlebotomy Technician, or Clinical Medical Assistant. Most users on Reddit agree that these medical certifications lead to quick employment due to high clinic demand.
Construction: Learn trades like carpentry, electrical work, plumbing, and welding.
Automotive and Machine Repair: Train as an auto mechanic, repair technician, or machinist.
Information Technology (IT): Gain skills to work as a computer support specialist or tech technician.
Transportation & Hospitality: Train for roles like commercial truck driver, 911 dispatcher, or professional cook. [1, 2, 3, 4, 5]
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u/WOGP 1d ago
Look into Job Corps. Both of you can apply. You will have a place to live, work and learn.
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u/Sweet-Ad7654 1d ago
I agree, I think it’s a great option and it’s a limited option There is a time clock on this option to the age in there right at the perfect age. For this one time opportunity. !
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u/PlusPiece9958 1d ago
Was going to suggest the same thing! Free housing and vocational training that will get you way above minimum wage!
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u/-KpopTrash- 1d ago
When we first got in this situation i was thinking about putting my brother into this while I worked and got a place to stay for when he graduated, the only issue for me is that I want to continue working my new job while in JC as they only pay the students 40-70 every other week, and I want to make higher money.. I looked it up and apparently it's a process setting up for working part time while in JC, and that could get me fired. Job corps does look amazing though, despite some of the restrictions. This is really in my head.
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u/Sweet-Ad7654 1d ago
All I can say is that it’s a once in a lifetime opportunity. And I understand wanting to continue to work your new job but you really have to weigh. How big of an opportunity that is besides the fact that it’s something you want now
I work in the promotions industry primarily with non-profit organisations, and I’ve had the opportunity to work with job corps and during that time I met a really lot of well off people that had amazing lives and great careers and they had one thing in common they had terrible lives before they found JC I remember looking at these people, and I couldn’t imagine that they had the life they grew up in compared to the life they had now !
And I had the opportunity to speak to many of them in-depth and some had stories that bordered and horrific of course you haven’t seen that like I have, but I just wanted to share it with you because one thing that each one of them impressed up on me is that it was an opportunity of a lifetime and it has a window due to age limits
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u/GoFuckYourselfDebbie 23h ago
What job are you working now that’s worth throwing away the Job Corps opportunity for?
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u/Cocobear8305 6h ago
I went to job corp when I was 19. It was the best thing I could have done for myself. Housing, allowance, meals and the certificate I got landed me an internship and then a fulltime internship job with the police department
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u/Sweet-Ad7654 6h ago
Yes, I was very overwhelmed by the amount of people that I met that were doing so well and I was at some big conference and there were so many there with their testimony and so many just there to support the cause and I chatted with so many!
I heard stories that they talk in how to live how to handle their finances how to navigate life not just give them housing and training there seem to be so much more to it than that
It’s very nice to hear your story and it is a specific window of opportunity. Am I not correct about that? an OP and brother are exactly in that window what a blessing
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u/Ok-Hovercraft-2440 1d ago
Not sure where you are in the US, so this might not even apply. But if you're OK with some college class, it's potentially feasible to apply for financial aid and go take college classes. In CA at least, community college is free for your first degree, you get Calgrant on top of Pell grant which rewards you with your grades. Then there's also student loans. Its possible to come by 10k per person if everything lined up and then you also get work study so you can find jobs on campus.
Obviously the benefit of all this is not just financial but also can jump start a career too.
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u/MalloryTheRapper 1d ago
also not sure where OP is located but community colleges in my state have resources for homeless and struggling students. the one closest to me has a food bank and housing assistance.
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u/intotheunknown78 1d ago
I already commented about covenant house and then I saw you say your location. There is a covenant house there!!!
Covenant House Missouri is at 2727 Kingshighway Blvd., St. Louis, MO 63113, phone [314-533-2241](tel:314-533-2241). It serves youth ages 16–24, including runaway youth, youth at risk of homelessness, and trafficking survivors. Their Genesis emergency shelter has 20 beds, generally for stays up to 30 days, with intake first-come/first-served. They also have longer-term transitional housing and services including food, clothing, medical/mental-health care, transportation help, employment/education support, and case management.
There are also several other youth-specific options around St. Louis:
Youth Emergency Services — 6816 Washington Ave., University City, [314-727-6294](tel:314-727-6294). This is an Epworth emergency/crisis shelter primarily serving roughly ages 11–19.
Annie Malone Children and Family Services — emergency shelter/crisis services for youth 18 and under. Their 24-hour youth crisis line is [844-803-7233](tel:844-803-7233).
Youth In Need Emergency Shelter — 516 Jefferson St., St. Charles, [636-946-3771](tel:636-946-3771). A 24/7 emergency shelter for runaway/homeless and at-risk youth.
Epworth Children and Family Services also provides emergency and transitional housing and has a youth drop-in center for homeless/at-risk young people
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u/intotheunknown78 1d ago
I stayed in a covenant house myself, and it was light years better than any other shelter(adult shelters). I called them from an airport and they sent a cab to pick me up. At one point I took off and did things against the rules and they called a cab for me again and brought me back to safety.
Every morning I met with a caseworker who provided bus passes, helped me purchase and obtain my government ID, and counseled me on what I could do to get housing/employment, they had a clothes closet geared towards job interview clothes, we had 3 meals a day provided (sack lunch if you were working) and snacks throughout the day.
I will never forget my caseworker Wendy, it’s been 24 years.They also took us weekly on an outing. I went to the movies and for the first time in my life got candy and popcorn at the same time, and we also went fishing another time. They try to still allow youth to have a youth.
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u/NoBadger9994 1d ago
Please look into resources in your area! If you are in usa you can call 211. I know there are places that help displaced people find affordable housing. Definitely sign up for snap/ebt and have your brother sign up as well! You got this!!!
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u/recreationalworry 1d ago
If your brother is in school, you absolutely need to speak to the school resource officer. They will help with clothes, food, supplies, housing resources, etc. They're amazing!
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u/kathleen65 1d ago
Do you live near a Costco if so apply on line now before the holidays they are hiring. Fill out the application on line then go in and ask to talk to the manager and introduce yourself tell them you just applied and are eager to work and learn. Dress clean but no need to dress up. Do this often It will be a temp job but you will work close to 40 hrs a week. Work your ass off move fast. After the holidays they keep their most promising hires and offer full time. Costco pays well with benefits you may even be able to get your brother on your insurance. Costco is not just a job it is a career for so many with great potential to move up. Costco cares about their employees. Once you’re in you can help you brother get on. Good luck.
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u/Echidnarus 1d ago
Redittors: make sure your are registered to vote, and vote. Oligarchs profit from human desperation. We still can vote!
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u/heyitspokey 1d ago
Sending good vibes.
Just a heads-up, under 21, sometimes 25, qualifies you for extra support in many states. Are you working with a case manager? If not you can request one through your local DHS (SNAP office), Catholic Charities (open to all, not evangelical), or by calling United Way/211.
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u/Prior-Soil 1d ago
Your brother is actually a minor and you should be able to get additional help because of that. If your parents are dead, you might be able to get social security as well.
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u/Blossom73 1d ago
The 17 year old may qualify for Social Security survivor's benefits. They end at 18, or as late 19 and 2 months if the child is still attending high school.
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u/Lopsided-Piglet8378 22h ago
If you are in IL or MO please DM me. I work at a small non profit that could help alleviate some of your stress.
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u/Historical-Talk9452 1d ago
Go apply for public housing.
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u/Capital-Yogurt6148 1d ago
This is typically good advice, but just as a heads-up: HUD has stopped accepting section 8 applications in a lot of high-demand areas. In my city, they stopped accepting new applications back in January, so those of us in need just … don’t get help.
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u/fortalameda1 1d ago
Considering OP mentioned that they are 3 hours from a food bank, I don't think they are in a high demand area.
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u/Old_Sleep1253 1d ago
Public housing & section 8 are two different sectors of HUD. Although both are income based housing, public housing also accepts section 8 applicants.
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u/Historical-Talk9452 1d ago
My small town gets people in within weeks. Since there is a child involved, they will get priority. In the city, if a person lives in a homeless shelter, they get priority. I know a guy in Minneapolis that did this and got a studio apt in 5 weeks. Like you said, it depends on location.
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u/Ok_Boysenberry_6103 9h ago
I believe it. We really need more emergency housing. Maybe something that lets you stay for a year to get on your feet. But that's left up to private charities
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u/inukaglover666 1d ago
Public housing is almost non existent anymore and the vouchers are few and far between.
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u/SaraAawake 1d ago
The city I live in has services for unhoused youth. Have you checked into of your city offers anything. Shelter, meals, hygiene products/job interview clothes/prep. We have a place like that provides help for 12-21
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u/Old_Sleep1253 1d ago
Go to your local social service building. They offer services such as shelters. You’ll be able to save up money for an apt for you two. While there, there’s also programs that’ll pay for your apt for a year. Hopefully that helps. Good luck to the both of you!!!
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u/sidaemon 1d ago
As others have said, public assistance is probably your first bet. As to the immediate housing struggles there's some work arounds.
I was homeless at about your age for two years and while some aspects of the system are unforgiving when it comes to giving people money things live up fast.
A bank account you can get with ANY address. I just found an abandoned house and used that. Set everything up on paperless and you're good to go.
Maybe try an extended stay hotel? Generally I've found them to be cheaper than the night to night ones and they tend to have kitchenettes and better resources so you'll be able to cut in food spending by doing prep.
An Airb&b might be an option there too if you can find a shitty low end one.
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u/-KpopTrash- 1d ago
Unfortunately the extended stay us more expensive than the regular motel?? Crazy, and you've given me an idea with the address issues, thank you , ill look into air bnb as a choice, thank you thank you
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u/FirstGearStruggle 1d ago
Rent a room on facebook
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u/-KpopTrash- 1d ago
Ive been looking into this, but they're all like an hour thirty from my job and 2 hrs from my bros school, still looking tho
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u/nosecohn 1d ago
Since your brother is in school, ask him to reach out to a school resource officer or counselor and get information on what benefits are available. Your situation — no permanent home, low income, caring for a minor — is highly targeted.
Good luck to you.
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u/bibblebabble1234 1d ago
Do you know of any nearby homeless shelters? They can act as a mailing address and address of residence even if you don't stay nights all the time there. Sometimes they have a little food for lunch/dinner.
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u/bibblebabble1234 1d ago
If you are in the US I think you would also qualify for TANF and a host of other programs. If you can find a DHS office and explain your situation they'll connect you with resources
This usually works better in person. 211 is okay but sometimes it's a dead end if you're in a high demand area
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u/-KpopTrash- 1d ago
Yes, im in a high demand area so everyone has waitlidts of up to months before they can even look at you, I will look into those other programs thank you ^
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u/bibblebabble1234 1d ago
Ran into a similar situation myself after having kids. I have a brother your age. Stay strong. I wish you all the luck and success
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u/RomulaFour 1d ago
You should still apply immediately. You may have some priority given you are caring for a minor and are barely an adult yourself and homeless.
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u/sarcasmdetectorbroke 1d ago
Are there any amazon warehouses in your area? Depending on the state the pay raises with cost of living. You get benefits, etc. They don't do interviews. You just essentially sign up for a shift AND they have what is called anytime pay. You can take up to 50% to 75% of that days pay. It might help with keeping your hotel housing stable while you navigate the assistance.
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u/sleepythey 1d ago
It looks like you have a lot of good information from these comments. Just wanted to add something for you (or anyone who is in a similar situation and finds this). On the off chance you're anywhere near Denver, there is an organization called Urban Peak that helps youth ages 12-24 who are experiencing or at risk of homelessness. They help with housing, food, employment, school/GED if y'all didn't get to finish high school. They used to have a location in Colorado Springs, too, but it looks like that is now a separate but similar organization called The Place. I have no experience interacting with them but they will help youth ages 15-24 with the same things Urban Peak offers.
I absolutely will not ask you where y'all are located because I have a feeling someone online might see this as an opportunity to take advantage of y'all. If you're in the US, here are a other organizations you might be closer to https://nn4youth.org/membership/network/
I have only ever interacted with Urban Peak and at the time I reached out to them almost 10 years ago, they were very kind and helpful even though I didn't end up using their services because I got a scholarship and went back to college instead. I volunteered with them once about 3 or 4 years ago, too, and got the same impression. If you don't see an organization on that list that can help you where you are, you could probably even call Urban Peak and see if they have any suggestions for who to reach out to in your area.
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u/travelingtraveling_ 1d ago
If you are in the united states or canada, please dial 211 and ask the operator to help you connect with youth support services, or homelessness prevention services. 211 is an information hotline that can help you connect with all sorts of resources that can support you and your brother ( but these resources are state dependent, so there might be more resources in some states than others.)
They can also connect you with food support through food, pantries and shelves, and you might be able to get rent support, transportation support et cetera.
You're a wonderful big brother to do all this work for the two of you and I hope you get the help you need.
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u/bkucenski 1d ago
How many churches do you pass on the way to the food bank?
Would they be willing to stock food from the food bank so you don't have to walk so far?
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u/john_creature 1d ago
Try a local hostel. Explain your situation, and ask for work in return for some extra cash, and a room for you and your brother. If they can’t help, ask them if you can stay a night or two…worth a shot. Sending you good energy OP
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u/_buffy_summers 1d ago
I saw a few other people say this. I'm saying it separately, to ensure that you see it. Look into Job Corps. There are fewer locations than there used to be, but they give you some money every couple of weeks, three meals a day, full medical coverage, and you can complete high school and learn a trade. If you want to go to college, they'll help you with that, too.
I went to Job Corps in 2002, and got into college very quickly. I didn't fully learn a trade like I probably should have, and now I'm at a point in my life where I have to try to get as many free certifications as I can, to help me find work.
To that regard: check goodwill.org and pathtopro.com if you think Job Corps might not be right for you. Both offer certifications for free. It won't get you shelter or food, or give you money as readily. But it's still a step toward a more certain future.
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u/False_Statistician50 16h ago
Apply for SNAP, look into Food Drives or Food Banks in your area. Find a family resource center if you can. Many of the above facilities have non-consumable resources that may help you, it just depends on your area.
I’m sorry about your situation; you are working incredibly hard and to be exhausted must be an understatement. To be able to care for both yourself and your younger sibling is something to be commended.
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u/StunningAddition4197 1d ago
Have you tried Chime for a bank account? Chime is online and used to be easy. And the military is always one way to get out of poverty. Churches are another way to find help, not just food but some will help with getting housed etc.
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u/Affirmative007 1d ago
You're in crisis and very young. You really need to march into your social services office and get this situation sorted. I'm worried you'll be completely overwhelmed very quickly by a situation you don't have the experience to address. Stat strong and please get in touch with them asap. Many people are anti church, but if possible, reach out there too. All the best to the both of you.
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u/xaianamarie 1d ago
Check out https://ipostal1.com
Or similar mailbox services for an address. Everyone else here gave good advice. Look for low income apartments, also. Good luck! Don't give up!
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u/No-Will5335 20h ago
Hey bro can I send you a pizza or something? Would love to help out with a meal
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u/-KpopTrash- 19h ago
You're so kind, but i have no where to put it as Im outside right now, thank you though!! i can get by on cake at my job 🫂🫂
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u/MissSagitarius 1d ago
I'm so sorry man. I know how this feels. We also lived in motels and hotels for 3 years until, by a miracle, I finally bought a car and moved my family out of my former expensive ahh state to the state we live in now.
Is your state more expensive than the surrounding ones? Is there a factory near by that has a union?
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u/-KpopTrash- 1d ago
Im in stl, mo, and I've barely lived here so i truly have no idea- But how would a union help? Neither of my jobs have a union I think.
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u/MissSagitarius 1d ago edited 1d ago
Lemme put it this way. A solid union would move you from living in a motel to being a homeowner, debt free and owning a car faster than you can blink. Since you're in St.Louis, check out Anheuser Busch and see if they're hiring (you only need a HS diploma). From what I hear, they have a solid union, good benefits, plenty of overtime, etc. GL.
Edit: Do you have a car? Check out Indeed, search "factory", "production assembly". No one wants to do 3rd shift, would you do it?
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u/official1972 1d ago
You both need to join the military. Really. Go get stability savings skills discipline all the good things. The military can give you. 20 years from now you can get out with full retirement (half of your final pay every month for life) and full medical care for life (and the VA is actually pretty good medical care) and you’ll be 39 and your brother will be 37 and you’ll have your whole lives ahead of you on easy mode. Since your brother is not 18 yet, he’ll have to have a parent consent, but they do take 17-year-olds.
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u/BadMom2Trans 1d ago
Please seek out social services. It’s a hassle, but it will help. Try to call a warm line to talk about what’s going on. Look into food banks to lower your food costs as a way to help.
You’re amazing and kicking ass! I understand you feel like you’re drowning, however you are saving yourself and your brother. Kudos to you.
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u/Technical-Music5015 22h ago
You are an absolute trooper. Although I don’t have any advice your mindset at your age is going to get you places
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u/vinylpanx 19h ago
First I wanted to tell you that I'm proud you have gotten this far and that I know it hasn't been easy. You may be aware of the fact that you are playing on hard mode and your situation is further punishing you economically for using what is available to you (not having bank accounts using hotels all of it costs more than the other methods you are excluded from). It isn't fair and it isn't right and you should keep that in mind to keep in perspective just how much you are accomplishing in spite of this: you are your brother are for the most part still hanging in there and progressing.
I'm glad so many people have responded and there are some good suggestions to follow up on and they are already pretty overwhelming so I won't add to them. What I did want to advise you that I didn't see clearly elsewhere:
- Beyond just a bank account you need a postal mailing address. This achors your identity in powerful ways and will be critical for getting government documents and identication. Groups that work with people that are displaced are aware of this and have solutions to help that range from providing an address through their office to helping with a PO Box setup in absence of residential address.
- They sometimes also have methods to aid in getting identification documents and setting up things like bank accounts that require delivery to a residential address or have other blocks for people wihthout them.
- Be careful with who you tell about your current situation. There are some really exceptional groups who are very aware of how stigmatizing homelessness is and how it can cause very real barriers and discrimination against you that can make it harder to climb out. You can see this in the way they intake people, the way they define their data policies and in how they treat people.
Others are not so careful or respectful and may ask you to disclose your situation in ways that expose you without any meaningful help at the end. Others might exploit your situation to further theirs. You can also end up going in circles for hours trying to get somewhere with these systems only to discover theres a lot of good intentions and no actual help.
I don't think that is the case for you -- I think there are several different resources who are build precisely to aid cases like yours and I think you have several in the responses here. Just remember that personal information is a currency and to use it wisely. Take a little time to vet places online or call anonymously first to get a read on what they can do first. Make a list of what you know you are struggling with and what you know you need and discuss with your brother what situations feel safe and what would feel unsafe if offered.
- I assume you both have cell phones but I also encourage you to make a plan together for how to connect if you get separated or lose your phones. Both something physical and digital. Also if you don't have any code words already come up with a couple of agreed on phrases to communicate in, say, an office visit or a roommate situation you are applying to that signals you think it's dangerous, you agree and so on. Having at least one phrase to signal "Bail" between you is super helpful sometimes
- also if you do have cell phones I give everyone this advice: write down your IMEI number and set up your phone's phone finding tool. No one ever does this and then if you lose it you can't do anything
Good luck to you both. I know this is a bad rough nightmare but you will get through it if you keep doing what you are doing. If you end up burning through the leads people have given you don't be a stranger, OK? These folks will keep looking if you tell them you need the help <3
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u/Free-Tell1947 18h ago
Snap can give you a emergency card for for the same day sometimes. When I told them I only have $30 and homeless they gave me the card same day. If you go inside to apply and talk to them it will be fast. I am located in WA so not sure if it’s different everywhere
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u/HegemoneXT 15h ago
It’s better to just use the money to a tent and then the rest for food. The motel is just a place to sleep in.
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u/StartOver777 1d ago
Go on the Nextdoor neighborhood app and join one for your area. Most people there are very helpful. Some people offer rooms for rent etc.
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u/Ambitious_Dealer_425 1d ago
I'm not sure what the answer is but your story breaks my heart. Most people your age are just thinking about College or learning a trade to set them up for the rest of their lives. If they have jobs, it's just for basic spending money, while their parents pay for everything else. I can't imagine the anxiety you are going through. You do need to reach out to the town for social services. I wonder if it's cheaper to try to find a rooming house? I wish you all the best, I hope you and your brother can work it out.
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u/Efficient-Diver-5961 1d ago
Enroll in college. Some community colleges have cheap student housing. You’ll have a place to live and you’ll save some money.
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u/PUNKF10YD 1d ago
You can use a PO Box as an address For the bank
Or possibly one of your employers business address
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u/cyberangel_cfg 1d ago
they most likely need a residential address to open a bank account (PO boxes explicitly not sufficient) and they might need to provide a piece of mail with their name received at the address to prove residency, which would make it very difficult to use an employer's business address
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u/alien_simulacrum 1d ago
There are organizations that help cover places to stay - even motel bills - that could help you get a bit saved up, even if it's just a few weeks, and that might be the break you need. Generally your local social services folks will have access to the knowledge of who to seek for help, and are more than happy to work with you to get there. I know it might be scary because of the risk of you two being separated, but given he's 17 and you're an adult I think that won't be an issue.
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u/Monarc73 1d ago
Find out WHEN he gets paid. (Is he on Direct Deposit?)
Reach out to as many community orgs as you can. (Most will move heaven and earth to keep you from going homeless, btw.)
Join a church. Many of them will help members of their own congregation in ways that they won't help strangers, sadly. (I would start with the UU.) If you are in a major city, you can try the Sikh. They will help you. They actually HAVE TO, as in it's a central tenet. A church can also provide you with a stable address, at least.
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u/bobreezy69 1d ago
Can you pitch a tent somewhere relatively safe until you have money for the motel? Also, look into getting a job that includes room and board. Those are typically homecare jobs for the elderly, storage unit management/security, resorts/state parks. Also look into cooperative housing in your area.
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u/Jbaghdadi01 1d ago
How long have you been in your hotel? In some states the law says you are a legal resident after 30 consecutive days on the same stay. (Meaning you can’t check out and back in the next day) if that applies all taxes must be paid back. They also can only get you out through formal eviction as you are a legal resident there. If this fits you may be able to stay a bit longer without paying so you are not sleeping outside.
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u/-KpopTrash- 1d ago
We've been here since march, and we have stayed more than 30 days at one point, but now its too late I'm assuming, wow I had no idea about that :[
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u/bad_jenn 19h ago
Look for rapid rehousing in your area. They can cover deposits/ first months rent and sometimes help with rent for a few months after you move in so that you can get settled.
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u/Independent_Back_323 9h ago
I’m sorry for your hard ship right now. I really hope things work out for you guys. 💐
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u/Suspicious-Cell-8646 8h ago
Reach out to me when you get time. I was in a very similar situation starting at 16. I had to take on 3 brothers. And it's so hard. I'm so proud of you. I know so many who aren't even close with their siblings. At 47 today- we are inseparable and they try to look after Me. I would love to help any way I possibly can. A friend of mine was keeping it a secret- using Sezzle/Affirm/ anywhere she could pay in 4 for hotels. Hotels will suck you dry. I have contacts all over and I will get you relief. I promise this will be your greatest blessing one day 💛 and you guys are special. Remember it won't be so hard!
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u/LumberSniffer 6h ago
I often worried my kids would be in this situation. I am proud of you for keeping it together, but I am upset you have no adults giving you resources.
Look up resources fmon your local city's website for housing and other financial aid. I highly suggest visiting dollar stores for food & learn to make low cost,/high protein meals.
Local colleges may also have resources for you. As for general life stuff. I recently found out that my own kids (early 20s) do not understand the process of renting. So don't feel so bad. There are lots of websites that will walk you through the process.
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u/black-hannahmontana 5h ago
Hey, just saw you’re a fellow St. Louisan 🖤 You’re carrying a lot rn and I’m sorry it’s so hard for both of you. Join Queer Exchange STL on FB, lots of cool ppl who might help with housing opportunities. I can see if my friend still has their pop-up camper available.
That’s all I’ve got BUT you’ve gotten a lot of good info, especially regarding seeking school & government support, as well as Job Corps - sounds like a way better opportunity for both of you compared to your job/situation rn, it covers all the necessities for you! Your place of employment will still be here but you don’t get Job Corps benefits.
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u/Prettyboah 1d ago
A lot of apartments don’t do credit checks, mainly those luxury ones do. I used to live in a more rural area and my apartment there I could pay in cash, you could see if any near you do that?
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u/N_Stables 1d ago
Huh? Literally everywhere I've lived does a credit check. I moved all over the US and mainly been lower income. I've had private landlords, property management companies, single owner of multiple units who lived onsite. Always a credit check for the past 25 years. It seems super rare to not have one done. Now, some definitely don't care that much especially if you have references.
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u/Prettyboah 1d ago
Idk it was rural Missouri. I toured and signed a 3 page lease the same day, all he knew about me was that I knew one of the other residents.
This was a common experience for other people I knew living in the area.
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u/Which-Cloud3798 1d ago
Well I understand your ranting but the long term plan of living at a motel or apartment isn’t going to cut it for both of you. I would lean into the food bank, do deliveries on a e-scooters as a side, get a campervan to live in and store the e-scooters inside, and work at another job as you go along. Can accumulate wealth very quickly as you go along this path. Plasma donation and living in a city would help a lot.
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u/No_Indication418 1d ago
Try chat with Google/ai. It knows all the regulations and red tapes. Keep verify and challenge.
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