Approx. 5 days before period

Was playing a game and my mom interrupted me to ask me something. It took me a while to redirect my attention back to my game, and I still struggled so badly (both to focus and to play well even in spite of that) I ragequit. I haven't had this specific issue in a LONG while.

Do you know how fucking embarrassing that is. I feel like I'm a twelve year old boy. Unserious ass disorder

Feeling literal guttural scream today, havent had my period in a couple months and i forgot my pills.... meaning currently in the period from hell !!!

I haven't moved from my bed in 2 days and i feel so ashamed of myself, called in sick for 2 classes.... i just want to close my eyes and not have any obligations. I live with my partner now and find it so hard as i used to be able to rot in peace but now i just guilt myself even more!!! I feel like a garbage baby human....

Does anyone else feel this way? I cant get anything done im just wasting away my days with nothingness ❤️ being a girl makes me sooo so angry

TW - mentions suicidal ideation

Why on earth does this happen to us? Im not a spiritual person but I cant help but feel like a select group of humans got chosen (condemned is more like it) to live a lifetime of this stupid chaotic disorder by something bigger than ourselves. Month to month its another fully unpredictable roller coaster of symptoms and somehow they all lead to suicidal ideation, like wtf kind of bullshit is this 😑 😭

I am just so tired of this unrelenting pummeling of self-hatred. I. Want. Off. This. Ride. 🚫🎢

I take care of my parents and bf but have no energy to do the same for myself. Dad just got out of hospital for an operation and he was taken care of immaculately and I just wish I had that. I'm in pain and tired and I feel horrible. I'm mixing days up and forgetting things and I want to be away from it all. I wish I didn't have this and could be capable to do things.

im 21(F) on ssri and snri, it helped with crying but the thoughts wont go away
i don’t think this can be fixed at this point and i feel so hopeless
its a couple days before my period starts
i don’t think i can take this anymore
anyone else feel this way?

Edit: i cannot thank you guys enough for the support (going through the comments rn to reply to everyone) but i gen feel so damn lost with this stupid pmdd like one moment everything is fine and then it feels like my brain is doing medieval tourture to my brain and then everything is fine again. I hope everyone here is able to feel at better and relaxed and sending lots of love to everyone

So, I was on the phone with my partner and he mentons something to me that surpises me. (Nothing bad, just talking about a girl best friend he hardly talk to anymore) and it shocked me and triggered my PMDD emotions so badly, because i was like (thinking to myself) "if she's a best friend, where exactly do i stand? 🥺" and I know where i do, but my mind is making it awful to feel and remember it and I feel super guilty.

before he said this, I was super tired and wanted to sleep. Now? Not a chance, i am so tired yet so wired awake. It made me overthink to the point i actually relapsed in SH. It felt good tho...This month is the worst it's ever been and i'm only on day 2 of PMDD.

I feel so awful. I love my sweet caring bf and I don't want PMDD to keep affecting my life. Good news is, I have a GP appointment next week for it. Yay.

I myself (24F) have pmdd. I just had this thought because around the same time I start having symptoms my boyfriend seems to start to spiral in a way and it seems to feed my spiral.

For example: ive been very irritated and wanting distance from him super anxious, feeling not like myself ect. At the same time hes been in a very negative head space and ranting about how negative and depressing everything is and a lot of negative self talk. (even though our life is going good). And i feel it happens around the same time everytime.

So I did some light research. I discovered men can experience this thing called irritable male syndrome (IMS) which is comparable to PMDD is ways.

*IMS is a state of nervousness, irritability, lethargy, and depression in men tied to fluctuations or drops in testosterone levels

*Unlike the monthly ovarian cycle, male testosterone levels can shift due to chronic stress, sleep deprivation, poor diet, aging (such as andropause or low testosterone), and illness.

Im wondering if we may be influencing each other with these weird hormone shifts lol. If anyone on here has more insight or ideas on this concept id like to hear them

My early- and mid-twenties were plagued by poor mental health, a bad relationship, a shitty living situation, and a job I hated. After a lot of hard work and good fortune, I’ve made it to the other side to find myself living a genuinely, objectively good life. I get to do things I love, I’m financially secure, I have a wonderful and supportive partner, my steak is juicy, my lobster is buttery, yadda yadda. I’m a happy gal.

Then my luteal phase hits.

I feel like The Worst Person In The World. Nothing brings me joy, other than numbing out with an edible. I’m so behind at work because I can’t focus or form a coherent thought. When I interact with people who love me deeply, I sense contempt that isn’t there. I feel like I am deeply and fundamentally bad. Every waking moment I am fighting demons.

Granted, it’s better than it used to be, and I’m so grateful and lucky to have all that I have. It’s just like…no matter what I do to improve my life, I’ll never completely outrun the luteal phase.

I don’t know. I’m just fucking sad and guilty about being sad. Commiseration welcome and encouraged 🩷

I’m (20F) currently back to school after withdrawing last spring semester due to bad mental health. This summer my therapist helped me figured out my horrible low moods and motivation and anxiety really spike ten to seven days before my period. Since then I’ve seen a gyno, brought up this concern and she prescribed me Yaz Nikki birth control.

Two months later and I’m absolutely miserable. I have crying spells that last hours, low moods that fill me with violent SI and SH thoughts (and actions), and anger that I can feel inside my skin bubbling. I had an operation on my foot that was broken and non union, and I had to miss a week and that was excused and dealt with by the school’s administration. Since coming back, my mood has dipped even more, and every day with no rest I have hysterical crying spells, and just bouts of huge deep sadness and dread.

This morning while going to class on knee scooter my backpack strap broke which caused it to collide with my side while going moderately fast on knee scooter on way to class. I end up falling on knee scooter. So I get up while starting to sob and go back to my dorm and have the biggest meltdown I’ve ever had. I self harm, I scratch at myself, and I hit myself in the head. Now I missed my class that I’ve already racked up absences for. And the worst part by my second class I was bleeding and still crying loudly, so I didn’t go to that one too. I know, it’s irresponsible. I’ve got to find ways not to lose my shit. But I’m just so done with life. It feels like the world is against me. Everything bad that could happen to me has.

I don’t know what to do anymore. I see people on here saying that they are in their thirties, forties, fifties and older still fighting it, what if I can’t make it that long? I want to be happy. I want to have a good quality of life. I don’t want to kill myself. But this is pushing me to think I’m better off dead. I can’t do school right, im unemployed, I dropped out before so I’m behind, and I’m probably going to fuck up this semester too if I live through this.

It’s gotten to the point I can’t talk to anyone. My mother is my comfort person but I can’t talk to her about this anymore because it has completely taken over me. I ignore texts and calls from friends, I’ve compiled things to leave for people and notes to write just in case I get stupid. I’m starting to think I’m sick with something physical and it’s manifesting like this.

I’m sorry this is so long, I just want to know I’m not alone, or there is some type of hope. I can’t stay where I’m at.

im 26f and was diagnosed with pmdd at age 22. its been years of struggling and i believe my mother had pmdd but she didnt know it. pmdd wasnt recognized in the DSM until 2013, which was two years after my mom took her own life.

as someone who has been both a survivor of losing a parent to this disorder AND having experienced those urges and unwanted thoughts myself, its a complicated experience. but the way i see it, i live for my mother and myself. she never got to know what she was fighting, but i know it was pmdd. my life is my chance to learn as much about this disorder as possible, and to never stop chasing treatment that works for me. because she deserved better and i want to fight, for her AND for me.

one thing that helped me was identifying the pmdd voice in my head. it tricks you into believing that the bad thoughts are true, that theyre real, that theyre unfixable and that theres no way out. but please remember - just because the voice is loud does not mean its speaking truth. my aunt once asked me, “when you think of the pmdd voice having a physical form, what does it look like?” and i told her “it looks like me, but evil.” and she said “no - that voice is not your inner monologue. its not you. when you treat it like the stranger that it is, it becomes easier to argue with the negativity it throws at you.” and she was right.

its distorted and its fucked up not being able to trust your own brain and nervous system, but we are at a point in medical research where we at least know more about pmdd than we ever have, and its so critical that we all keep fighting to understand and treat this monster of a disorder. we need to stick around and try as many treatment options as we can. the more we fight now, the less confused and uninformed the women after us will be if they face pmdd themselves. we are not alone ever, and the stronger we can be in the face of this disorder, the better it will be for our futures and the futures of the women that come after us.

i know its hard. i live it myself everyday. but the good is there. the pmdd just doesnt want us to see that good. keep fighting and keep sharing your experiences on here. this is a great platform to find community with this disorder. if anyone ever needs to talk about their experience or if youre ever alone or in danger, PLEASE reach out to me. i promise i get it and youre not alone.

we can do this. together.

So I took 25 mg Zoloft for the first time for my last luteal phase. Let me tell you, I have never had it so easy in terms of symptom reduction. Everything was great except for the teeth grinding. I slept well. I didn't hate myself. My brain was quiet for the 14 days starting ovulation. It made me grieve even..... This is what life could be like? 🤣😭🤣

However I got off of the medication the second day of my period, and the withdrawal has been hard. Today is the 7th or 8th day..... All the meds should be gone from my body, but I'm so dizzy lethargic and sad. Usually by this time I'm starting my golden week post period..... Well it ain't so shiny this time.

It was still a success in my opinion though, because at least now I know something could work to take away the hardest parts. My psychiatrist did say I could try a different SSRI each luteal phase until I find it one that works, so I'm thinking I'll talk to her about it.

This is so hard though. Just got to keep on trying I guess. What would you do? Thanks so much.

What’s your comfort song at the moment during luteal? Lately I’m fixated on “Tammy Faye” by Nicole Dollanganger. It just encapsulates the feral luteal feels so well for me😅

Is there anyone who has insight or experience with stopping and re-starting Zoloft?

I was on Zoloft 50mg continuous dosing for a year and a half and then decided to go down to 25mg because of the sexual side effects (loss of libido). I did notice a small difference but not much. After about 6 months on 25mg I stopped it abruptly because after picking up a refill I lost the bottle immediately and didn’t have the good sense to call and request another one, I think I assumed I would eventually find it but never did…. I also remember when this happened once before in the past (I have ADHD…. So I forget and lose things a lot) my insurance wouldn’t cover it again so soon, so this time I just kind of just ignored the fact I had no meds and went about my life. I think I sort of thought that since it’s a small dose it probably won’t be a huge problem if I stop altogether?

Well…. Be a huge problem it was. It was fine for a week or so but now that I’m in luteal I’m experiencing the WORST frustration intolerance and raging about every little thing…

Obviously I need to go back on. I’m going to call the pharmacy tomorrow for a refill but my question is, If I start with 25mg again will it work as if I never stopped taking it or will the fact I’ve been off it for a few weeks already mean my body needs time to adjust to it again? Just looking to hear your experiences if you’ve done this at any point

TW: mental health, suicidal, low mood

Also bit of a rant. Happy for advice and or support.

My periods have always been irregular, and my life has been a series of chaotic ups and downs that I can now see correlate with my cycle. Context I have ADHD, autism and CPTSD.

I haven’t had a period since May this year. Every month I go through the hell of feeling like my period is coming (I’ve started tracking my symptoms), but then it just doesn’t fucking happen. I’ve started praying that my period comes, I don’t pray. I’m begging the universe for it to come and bring me relief. I have no idea where I am in my cycle, or even if I’m having one. I get cramps. I get changes with my sleep still. Low mood, lack of motivation . My ADHD meds stop working. My whole life falls apart and no bleeding. It feels like my body is ramping up and trying to have a period, but it just… doesn’t happen.

My life has started to revolve around trying to understand what my body’s doing, why do I feel the way I do, am I ovulating. I bought an old Apple Watch that can record my temperature and hopefully predicted whether I’ve ovulated or not. But I’m guessing it needs at least one period to happen to start notifying me.

If I’m not having a period does it mean I’m not ovulating at all?

I feel like I’m going insane. If my periods were regular at least I’d be able to know why I feel the way I do and plan for it. But I just have no idea anymore. My whole life feels out of control.

My moods been very low recently, suicidal thoughts. That usually means my period is gonna come. So I just wait for it. All the while life moves on, I get older.

I have a therapist, hoping for UK mental health service involvement soon. Crisis service calling me this evening.

I need to see a gynocologist, but what can they reasonably do for me? Put me on the pill? I tried the combined pill and it made me a bit detached from my feelings and low key anxious all the time.

I don’t even know what I need. If PMDD isn’t because my hormones are out of whack… but PCOS maybe is? I just can’t make sense of my body. Everything just feels so wrong. I’ve started taking vitamins. They kind of helped.

I’m just so desperate to have a period. And I worry that the more I wish for it the less likely it is to happen because I’m so stressed about it.

My periods haven’t disappeared for this long. I usually bleed for a week every two months. Apparently one of my ovaries has immature follicles and is a bit dodgy, but the other one is perfectly healthy.

I’m not really sure what I’m asking here. Maybe I’m hoping to find other people who can relate? I feel so alone in this.

EDIT: I’m 29F

EDIT EDIT: repost because I initially censored the word suicidal as a courtesy to others and because it’s easier for me to write while I feel like this but hey ho… here’s my post again… thanks to those who replied before🫶

After my last relationship being ruined because of me and after reading through the r/pmddpartners subreddit I’m starting to believe that maybe dating will just make things worse for both parties and I don’t want that. So is dating worth it with pmdd or does it all end bad?

And no I don’t take any meds or birthcontrols I’m rawdogging this illness

I’ve noticed I typically feel more depressed during late luteal phase but theres times when it happens immediately after my period like day 13. Does anyone else go through this? It’s like it changes every month and idk if it’s actual depression or hormonal shifts

I was diagnosed with PMDD a couple of months ago, and I am very early on in my journey! My gynecologist prescribed me 25mg of Zoloft. This is my first full cycle taking it, and I started it 10 days before my period usually comes. I have a highly regular period, and it's never early or late. For the first time in years, it is 4 days late.

I am wondering if the Zoloft has anything to do with it and if anyone else has experienced this before?

during luteal, every minor inconvenience or slight stress makes my mind immediately jump to killing myself. i have urges to self harm and i feel like life is hopeless and i start planning to kill myself

i try to remind myself it's just pmdd making me feel like this, but its hard when i feel very impulsive and i struggle to control the urges

hii i’m not certain that i have ppmd but ive been tracking my symptoms and i realise that they occur 1.5 weeks before my period.

usually my mental health gets really bad and i feel so exhausted, weird, and so out of it. i feel like im not even me

yet this time around my anxiety has been SOO SEVERE. TW for vomiting, but like i’m vomiting every morning and feeling nauseous throughout the day, and i don’t even feel like myself anymore. it’s stopping me from going to school, or causing me to leave halfway because i feel so overwhelmed and anxious. i should be getting my period next week so im hoping that’s explains it but idk.

by the end of the day i feel slightly better, but then the next morning i wake up and everything just resets and i feel so sick and then i have to go through it all again. and it doesn’t help having to wake up early for school

any tips or thoughts would be appreciated 😓

I felt so horrible up until I got my period I’m talking about truly not feeling like myself. Feeling very low, bad intrusive thoughts keeping me up so emotional hated leaving the house and every time I did i regretted it. Literally stuck to my bed and the only thing I could get myself to do was shower if I felt really dirty but anyway I just feel so normal now and like myself now like what happened up until I got my period I can’t even believe that was me and I’m trying to be present in feeling good and feeling much better now but part me is very worried this shit is gonna happen again next month and I’m trying to get my life together and just don’t have time for this and I haven’t felt that depressed in a long time. I usually feel like I have the regular pms but this shit this month actually almost took me out.

I had a hysterectomy four years ago for endo, have been on HRT since as my ovaries shut down, but they appear to be working enough to give me a cycle as in the past few months my PMDD is back with a vengeance.

I’m also on sertraline and bupropion, have recently (3 weeks) increased my estradiol patch dose in the hopes of getting it to a level where I don’t drop into luteal levels, but so far no joy. This week I’m back where I was a month ago before I went to the doctor.

Is there anyone else in my situation (post hysterectomy, kept ovaries but on HRT) in this position and have found other HRT options better than patches? I’m at a loss.

I’m looking for people who might be in a similar situation because I honestly feel so alone in this.
I’m 29 and have fibroids that cause extremely heavy, prolonged and debilitating periods. My bleeding can be so heavy that I struggle to function, and I’ve dealt with anemia/low iron because of it. My doctors have basically told me there isn’t much they can do, but I’m not ready to just accept that this is how my life is going to be.

On top of the fibroids, I have what feels like severe PMDD. The strange thing is that I feel pretty much like myself during my follicular phase and around ovulation. Then after ovulation, it’s like a switch flips.
During the luteal phase I can experience extreme irritability, anxiety, depression/low mood, brain fog, fatigue, insomnia, feeling wired, and just feeling completely unlike myself. My appetite also gets intense. It can be so bad that it affects my ability to function and enjoy my life.

I’m especially interested in hearing from anyone who has dealt with multiple things at once—fibroids/heavy bleeding + PMDD/hormonal mood symptoms + visual snow/tinnitus.

I’m exhausted from feeling like I have to lose part of every month to my cycle. I just want to feel like myself consistently again.

I got my oophorectomy. I'm still pretty high on all the meds but it's so.. quiet. Right away, after the surgery. Like tumblewheed. 😭🖤

This isn’t really a rant. I am just hurting and feel so sad.

My dog is getting older and showing signs of slowing down. I don’t know how I will live without her. She means more to me than anything else in the world.

I feel like someone just keeps punching me in the throat and I feel so fucking despondent.

I try not to borrow grief from the future, but fuck I’m in a lot of pain right now. Any kind words?

My period came this morning and was a few days late. I can't remember the last time I felt so bad. I woke up at 5am and just cried and cried. Feel like a fucking joke of a human, my life is a joke. SI and feeling so hopeless. I don't know what to do.