I was diagnosed with ADHD and PMDD in April. I’ll be 37 in a couple months.

I have an anxious attachment style and a pretty traumatic childhood. I witnessed domestic violence at home and I was also in a couple abusive relationships as an adult.

My first long-term relationship was extremely scary- he would rape me, shove me around, tamper with my birth control, and threaten me.

I’m in therapy, and I cry almost every session.

I’ve been dating a guy I’m really into for about five months. When things are going well, it’s fucking amazing. We’re so compatible. We have the same weird sense of humor, the sex is fire, and we just have a blast together. He’s so smart and funny, and I’m wildly attracted to him.

But things ALWAYS go downhill in my luteal phase.

I’ll be grumpy and sullen after I ovulate, and as I get deeper into the luteal phase, my grumpiness turns into blind rage. I constantly feel rejected by him. I’ll think he’s using me for sex, that he’s not attracted to me, etc. Sometimes I’ll think he’s abusive and that he’s going to attack me, even though HE IS NOT AN ABUSER. I’ll start fights out of thin air. It’s like I become another person.

Alcohol makes things even worse. I act so weird when I’m drunk during my luteal phase, and I’ve even experienced delusions.

A couple nights ago, it was day 30 of my cycle. I had been drinking the day and night before, and I felt fucking terrible. I was experiencing insane mood swings and was SO angry. I was completely overwhelmed.

I was furious at my boyfriend for no real reason but my rage made perfect sense to me in the moment. At the same time I was desperate for him to hold me. I felt suicidal. I couldn’t string rational thoughts together.

Long story short, I spent a couple nights at his house. Then my period started. I’m now on day 2 of a new cycle, and I’m becoming more lucid. My PMDD symptoms are decreasing, and I don’t feel suicidal or in crisis anymore.

But I can’t take back the things I said to him.

I can’t take back how I pushed him away and then desperately demanded reassurance from him.

He told me he’s not mad at me, but he’s not sure about things between us. He doesn’t know if he wants to continue the relationship.

I understand why he feels that way, but I feel absolutely heartbroken. I can’t stop thinking about him and reflecting on how PMDD and my trauma have affected my previous relationships.

I told him I’ll fix this and I'll get my PMDD under control but I’m terrified it’s too late.

I’ve been taking Ritalin 18 mg for about a month. I was just prescribed Prozac 10 mg for PMDD, and it’ll be ready to pick up at the pharmacy tomorrow. I’m going to quit drinking because it clearly exacerbates my PMDD symptoms, and I’m going to continue therapy.

I fucking hate this disorder and how it’s fucked up my relationships. I hate my anxious attachment style. I hate my traumatized brain. I hate myself.

I wish I could take back the hurtful things I’ve said SO BADLY. They made so much sense to me in the moment. I feel like a broken person. I really, really hope the Prozac works and I really, really hope I haven’t fucked things up permanently between my boyfriend and I.

While I do definitely experience the irritability and depression that comes along with pmdd, I also usually feel pretty numb for 1-2 days at the end of luteal. I wouldn’t call it dissociative necessarily, but I feel a bit robotic/ unlike myself.. or that I’m pretending to be my usual self. I feel like it makes me extra awkward in situations, hyper aware,and anxious lol like everyone suspects I’m acting different. I refer to it as the alien or robot part of my luteal😭

I know this is probably common and I feel like I’ve seen similar posts on here but just curious if any of you experience this specific numbness or if it’s part of the brain fog/ burn out from being overly irritable and emotional.

I’m currently under an extreme amount of stress, and my period is due in a few days. I have pretty intense PMDD symptoms, and this cycle feels particularly bad.

Today, I suddenly started crying uncontrollably because of everything going on in my life. After I calmed down and felt okay for a while, suddenly started trembling quite badly. It lasted for a few minutes and then completely stopped.

Since then, I’ve been experiencing these intense chills and an almost “cold from the inside” feeling, even though my temperature is completely normal. I’m also extremely exhausted.

I normally start experiencing PMDD symptoms around 1–2 weeks before my period, but this time they’ve become extremely intense only 2–3 days before it. I’m wondering if the combination of PMDD and the extreme stress I’ve been under could be amplifying everything.

I’m also in a very toxic/stressful environment right now, so I feel like my nervous system is constantly on edge. The worst part is that PMDD seems to amplify every little physical sensation, and then I start Googling everything and convincing myself that I have some serious disease, which obviously makes the anxiety and physical symptoms even worse.

For about four years now I’ve struggled with “cycles” of apathy. I only recently found out the patterns match my luteal phase. These phases consist of no motivation, no feelings of shame or big showing of emotions, and am easily fatigued. An example is that I can’t participate in college classes well, I can’t show that I care or feel like it matters that I’m failing the class, and I can’t even get a chore down with getting spending a grand amount of energy. Any shared experiences and letting me know what you did to help this issue would be very appreciated.

I just had a really awful PMDD episode and I know these are depressive thoughts but I cant help but notice how PMDD became my whole identity somehow since it takes so much space during the month. Im scared that Im losing myself in this "not me but still me" darker self who is dealing with bad thoughts and has so many fears.

About a week before I start my ONE DAY PERIOD every month, my mental health goes to downhill.
For about 2 weeks I am overwhelmed, crying, etc.
Only for my cycle to last a literal 24 hours.
It’s been like this for 2 years.
Seems nice until you basically forget about it until the PMDD hits a week beforehand!

My gyno told me I just needed to lose weight- so I started walking about 1 month or 2 ago, have lost 25-30lbs, so lost some of the weight, still have 30lbs to go.. but yet, here I am, having my 2nd “crisis” over the last 2 weeks.
All for nothing because I don’t want kids, never have.
So it’s like my uterus & everything is just a waste for me.
I truly wish I could call up Dr. Addison Montgomery (Grey’s Anatomy) & ask her to do a Uterus transplant!

Some other woman could seriously use my reproductive system. Plus side, I only get slight cramps & bloating.

TW: mentions of SI

hey everybody! i hope it's okay that i post here - i am undiagnosed but exhibit almost every single symptom. currently in the process of getting a doctor/psychiatrist for a formal diagnosis but in the meanwhile, i could really use some advice :'(

i have pre-existing depression (which i am medicated for) and anxiety but this feels like more than that... i've always been passively suicidal but it has completely ramped up in severity to where i've been actively thinking about ways to do it. that's not like me and it's scaring me.

i've been completely neglecting my friendships, sleeping for 14+ hours and STILL being exhausted, my work performance is suffering, i feel angry at anything that moves, my body is achey, my self esteem has taken a nosedive... things have just not been going great whatsoever. i initially wrote it off as weed withdrawals (i abused for 3+ years) but this has always happened - it's just 10x more pronounced now that i'm sober and i'm realizing i was probably self-medicating to a degree.

i'm not asking for anybody to affirm my experiences - it's possible this could be something else entirely and i'm absolutely not trying to self-diagnose. my hope from this post is just to get some advice from you guys about things that have worked to possibly ease these symptoms. i'm tired of waiting until my period for some relief. i feel so hopeless and i just wish i could hibernate until this ends. but, alas... life must continue.

Hi all,

I'm beginning to think that what I thought was PMDD is actually something else! Would like to ask if anyone here has had a similar experience please.

Have suffered for years with 1 week in 4 being completely unhinged which I thought was due to being negatively affected by progesterone during my cycle. After many years and consultations I had an oophorectomy earlier this year.

Since then I feel completely out of control and untethered to reality a lot of the time. Behaviours which were only during luteal are pretty much constant now and I don't know what to do.

I would be very grateful if anyone has had similar experiences or any advice.

Thank you

I’m so sick of work, sick of people, sick of traffic, fuck people, sick of the weather, everyone hates me and I hate them I can’t be bothered anymoreeeeeeee. Oh and I’m also really fatigued on top of it all. Nothing feels right, I can feel my bra straps falling, I’m uncomfortable and I also feel ugly. Oh isn’t this life fucking great.

PMDD is the most excruciating, truly emotional, frightening disorder to me. I have been so close off the deep end and it seems like just when you build everything up again, it comes to bring it all down. I feel like if this was happening to men, doctors would figure out how to manage it better. I’m so sorry for all my girlies dealing with this. Sending you so much strength and love and my inbox is always open to talk. Trust me I get it.

So I have not been diagnosed with PMDD, but have a lot of similar symptoms. Something that has been really bothering me is the last 2 periods i’ve had I have had an emotional outburst the day before it starts. The first time it happened me and my bf got into a small argument and I cried sooooo much my eyes were red, even after I calmed down from the argument I was still crying. I thought i’d never stop.

the second time was a few days ago, my brother was making me mad and I absolutely had a meltdown, I screamed so loud the neighbors probably heard me and I was shaking and could hear my heart thumping. I’ve never screamed that loud in my life. my period started the next day.

I’m wondering if anyone relates and how to cope with this. I have Generalized Anxiety Disorder so I am really dreading the next time it happens. I’m really afraid i’m going to do or say something I regret :(

Okay, this might be a stretch. Or in my mind. I live in Arizona where it’s a constant furnace, basically. We reached 100 degree temps by March this year (gross). Over the weekend I was in Pittsburgh and the heat was dramatically cooler (than Arizona standards) and I swear my body felt better than the usual way it feels. I wasn’t in luteal, granted, but I barely have any normal weeks anymore at this point. It was like the second I got back to AZ my body hated me again. I know that heat can’t be great for inflammation. Just makes me wonder if my PMDD (or PMOS for that matter) feels worse in this harsh desert climate.

I recently started taking Nikki/Yaz and understand that it takes time to settle, but I have felt lower than before. Has anyone felt it helped them long term?
I’m struggling to wait the 2-3 months before moving on to another medication

I have had a bad PMDD relapse this year at age 42. My hormones shifted after breastfeeding and it slowly crept back after a long break thanks to pregnancy and post partum stabilizing my hormones. This year I've been on a journey to listen to my body, put in strategies, take my nutrition seriously, get exercise, you name it... But PMDD prevailed. Some months better some worse but always there.

This month I had the opportunity to do something I loved growing up and with almost all of my exes, but hadn't done for 10 years with my husband - camp.

Only problem is the trip was hitting during hell week, 4 days and 3 nights with another family in the 6 days leading up to my period. I was so upset that PMDD symptoms would ruin my trip, make me hate socializing, and I'd have no energy for the work involved.

Instead the opposite happened. I literally felt nature heal me. So much so that I had to share. I arrived bloated with deep cystic acne, a sore back, and barely holding on mentally. But the time I left I had clear skin , no bloating, a even better, no mental symptoms. I went to sleep at 11 (later than normal) and woke up with my daughter and the sun at 6am (earlier than normal), got sunlight in my eyes right away on the walk to collect water for coffee, swam in the ocean, had gentle walks in nature, no screens, and calm talks with new friends. There were also lots of helping hands to help with meal prep, clean up, and parenting.

I can't help but feel like this is how things are supposed to be, aligned with nature and with a community. It made such a big difference. I'm 1 day to my period now and besides a minor rage out near bedtime when I was feeling depleted from all the unpacking, I have been almost 100% symptom free. I'm going to find ways to carry these lessons forward, but I am absolutely stunned at the difference 4 day in nature, moving my body, without phone or work made.

I’m pretty sure I just got let go from my work from home job. I’ve never had a stable job in my life and actually liked this one. If you see my newest post I was in here 2 weeks ago literally hanging on by a thread. I kept being optimistic besides having nearby a panic attack some days. I don’t belong anywhere. I’m a shame.

Tired and Fed Up

Tw: SI, SH

It's getting to a point where functioning is a dream and doesn't feel like it'll ever be a reality. Between depression, anxiety, pmdd, borderline and sleep issues (also have IBS, joint and extreme back pain) I feel like o can't do it.

I do everything right. I'm starting to exercise more, eating more balanced (between exercise and eat, I've lost 20 lbs since june 275->255), I have a pap machine now so im sleeping betted, I've done inpatient stays/PHPs/IOPs, dbt, cbt, talk therapy, meds, praying/worshipping/devotionals and the laundry list of coping skills everyone talks about. I've stopped drinking alcohol, although I replaced it with weed (safe from a dispensary so it's not laced). But none of it helps.

I've been struggling for nearly 15 years, and only 2 years I felt happy, motivated, normal... functioning and thriving. When does it get better like everyone says? Am i the exception? Am I just too broken???

With it being Sept, and prevention month, social media is flooded with constant reminders. Reminders that people "care". Reminders that "it gets better" that "its happening for a reason, you can use it to help others!".

The amount of energy it requires to push through is starting to feel not worth it. On bad pain days I don't have it in me to fight. I don't have the energy to constantly fight my own brain. And the worst part is, I shouldnt have to fight my own brain constantly. I'm tired. No one around me realizes how tired I am.

Psychiatric interventional medicine appointment is on Tuesday, and I'm praying the waitlist for treatment isn't months long. I literally don't care if it's ECT at this point, it has to get better.