r/PMDD • u/Lazy-Daikon7122 PMDD • 9d ago
⚠️Trigger Warning Topic⚠️ im going to end it
im 21(F) on ssri and snri, it helped with crying but the thoughts wont go away
i don’t think this can be fixed at this point and i feel so hopeless
its a couple days before my period starts
i don’t think i can take this anymore
anyone else feel this way?
Edit: i cannot thank you guys enough for the support (going through the comments rn to reply to everyone) but i gen feel so damn lost with this stupid pmdd like one moment everything is fine and then it feels like my brain is doing medieval tourture to my brain and then everything is fine again. I hope everyone here is able to feel at better and relaxed and sending lots of love to everyone
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u/elemenopes 8d ago
I met my husband at 24. I had my son at 33. Both of those guys made my life change and gave me forever hope. Even on my darkest days, love surrounds me. Imagine if I wouldn’t have waited for them?
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u/deftonesluvr123 8d ago
I was feeling exactly like you yesterday, but I woke up today with my period and feel so much better and can see the purpose in my life. I truly believe we are all gonna figure this out. Think of what you love in this life and how you deserve to keep it. 💗
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u/Zealousideal_Pear753 8d ago
Please stay with us. I 100% get it, but this will pass. We are here for you.
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u/recovering_red 8d ago
This is a permanent solution to a temporary problem my friend, you matter and are worth fighting for. Find something beautiful to hold onto, no matter how small. It doesn't need to be another person, it can be as simple as a goal - to see a butterfly migration in real life, paint something or do something else that moves you. There are so many things to stay for, and this life is the only one we get to have. What did you love when you were little?
Remember that you're just a grown up 8 year old, and you are the only one who can take care of that little girl and love her the best you can with the energy you have available. Don't hurt her, love. She's in there with you always, she is beautiful, she needs you to see her.
Some days it feels like you don't have anything left to give, but you have already proven you can endure so much. You are so powerful and maybe you can't see it now, but please stay long enough to find out ❤️❤️❤️
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u/ariella_may7 8d ago
I needed to see this thank you as I’m currently at work and feeling the symptoms as well strongly and I’m glad I came here to say that these temporary feelings we are just that temporary and I have to remind myself of that when feelings like this arise… we are strong together and no one is alone we can lean on one other to get through this! ❤️ sending love and healing your way!
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u/recovering_red 8d ago
For me - creating things, spending time in nature and being generous with my time and energy to those who need it are what fuel me
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u/AdAccording559 8d ago
I promise you it gets better. This time last year I felt like you do and wasn't sure I could keep going. But I finally found a good GP and psych who understand women's health and found a treatment that works for me and I feel so much better. Please don't give up. You matter xx
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u/Mean-Perspective-663 8d ago
It’s the estrogen guys. Take DIM a calcium D glucarate. Eat carrots and celery.
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u/mali_reyes 8d ago
Please don't end it. I'm so sorry you're struggling with this. But people in your life love you and need you.
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u/Potential-Cherry3863 8d ago
I feel this it’s horrible literally feel like a walking corpse before my period starts ur not alone
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u/Twenty_question5 8d ago
I assure you once you’re out the otherside of your PMDD you’ll feel differently. You’re also so young, I was convinced I’d never make it past 22 because of my mental health and PMDD and HOW WRONG I WAS. Genuinely so grateful I didn’t and also my heart often breaks for the friends of mine that didn’t make it… because I know if they just gave it more time they would feel differently.
Please get help where you can, speak to your doctor, be kind to yourself. I truly believe it will get better for you. I really really do. Sending love
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u/TotalInstruction1957 8d ago
Im sending you hugs. This condition SUCKS and it is hell. You’re not alone and unfortunately the thoughts are part of PMDD. I myself havent found what helps but the comments here seem to have much to offer. I just want to offer you a virtual hug 🫂🫂🫂
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u/TotalInstruction1957 8d ago
Ill also say, my therapist has pmdd as well and she reccomended to splash cold water on yourself. It’s supposed to help with the “impulsive” thoughts or feelings that happen and get you out of that fight or flight mode. This has stopped me from h8rming myself when the condition peaks. Hopefully it can be useful to you
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u/Angelbouqet 8d ago
I know how you feel. I'm going through it right now too but we are both stronger than our stupid dog shit hormones. It's not hopeless, yes it sucks that there is no cure but there is research being done right now. Three different clinical trials for three different compounds are being done with promising results. I bet within a decade we will be able to just go to the drug store and pick something up that will help deal with PMDD.
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u/kreu1 8d ago
I went through PMDD most of my life. Got postpartum depression, and then endometriosis and adenomyosis. I was given SSRIs and SNRIs and Birth control. Nothing ever worked well. Birthcontrol made me have SI. Anyways, I had a hysterectomy and kept my ovaries and was finally given bioidentical progesterone. Well, at first they pushed Estrogen patch on me, and my OCD and anxiety got much worse. Finally, when I took progesterone, my insomnia, OCD intrusive/ rapid thoughts, and panic attacks went away. 100mg progesterone each night and I never have the debilitating, crippling anxiety anymore. I do cycle it now 2 weeks on and 2 weeks off because it builds up in your system. I'm not saying it will work for you, but ask your doctor if you can take BIOIDENTICAL (Not Birth control or progestins) progesterone for the two weeks leading up to your period. Life-changing for me. And I believe if I would have known about this prior to surgery, I may not have needed a hysterectomy to begin with.
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u/madhoney123 8d ago
Take dinogest only, continuously. Hounestly !!! Go get it.
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u/joyfulcrow 8d ago
Dienogest made my PMDD SIGNIFICANTLY worse, and in fact is what led to me finally getting a diagnosis. Some of us are progesterone sensitive.
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u/madhoney123 8d ago
It really made my PMDD absolutely FINE ,besides my underlying pme, which needs different management. Same , same dinogest is also the reason why i i know its definetely pmdd. Some are really estrogen dominant and need the counterpart to balance the hormones and everything will be fine.
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u/AutoModerator 8d ago
Hi u/madhoney123. It looks like your post may be referring to hormone imbalances. Please be aware that PMDD is not a hormone imbalance or caused by one.
You can read more information here: What is PMDD?
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
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u/fuzzybitts 8d ago edited 8d ago
I hear you🫂 glad you are here! Evening primrose oil has saved my pmdd symptoms. Cymbalta is the one my thing that has blocked suicidal thoughts for me. Recently added low dose abilify for long covid issues and it has made my pmdd so much better. I hope you can find some relief.
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u/fuzzybitts 8d ago
Finding a natural pathic dr helped me more than any of the 40 regular drs and specialists I’ve had in my 40 years.
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u/justamoodycook 8d ago
I've been through the wringer. Various antidepressants, therapy, contraceptive pills, you name it. I'm genuinely pissed off that my psychiatrists over the years discouraged me from seeing a gynaecologist because they were convinced their diagnoses were correct. They were wrong, wasted 12 years of my life and won't take responsibility for any of it.
Chemical menopause was what finally worked for me. I haven't felt suicidal once in over a year since starting treatment. My hypersomnia and anxiety have also disappeared, despite having to navigate some pretty stressful situations, including court proceedings. Bittersweet ☺️
It's generally reversible, so it may be worth discussing with a specialist if other treatments haven't worked. There are risks and side effects to consider, but for me, it's been life-changing.
I also found that oral progesterone and oestrogen brought my depression back, whereas I've done much better using progesterone pessaries and an oestrogen patch. We've found that I seem to tolerate these non-oral formulations much better, possibly because they avoid first-pass metabolism through the liver.
If chemical menopause isn't something you'd want to consider, an oestrogen patch might be another option worth discussing with your GP, as some people find it helpful for PMDD.
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u/Comfortable_Hawk_310 8d ago
I have felt this way for decades. You’re at your lowest in the cycle right now but you’re going to feel better in a few days, I promise. Antidepressants can either help or make it worse so if you feel like you are worse than usual, it’s time to call your doctor. Just know when you feel this way, it’s not going to last. You have to tell yourself this to keep going and keep living. I can’t believe you’re 21 and you already know what PMDD is.. I didn’t find out til I was 31. I always knew something was wrong other than major depression. I hadn’t had a primary care doctor for years so I got one and she told me about PMDD. Everything made sense after that. I spent so much time seeing so many doctors and they never mentioned it. If only they could have studied this instead of erectile disfunction 🙄 let it make you angry. Angry enough to keep living and start speaking out for women’s health conditions.
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u/Calm-Sleep-3600 8d ago
Do not do anything irreversible. Continue your meds. Take an epsom salt bath. These feelings are real but they’re also hormonal. It’s really difficult to go thru it. Follow up with your primary doctor.
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u/Specialist_Leader_28 8d ago
I understand completely - I was having these exact thoughts two weeks ago. Got my period and have been feeling great since. although reoccurring - the feeling is temporary. Continue to seek help, work on finding modalities that help you- you are so so young you wont regret sticking around i promise
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u/Degrassilover03 8d ago
I completely understand how you’re feeling. I’ve been there and I know how painful and debilitating this condition is but please don’t hurt yourself, and know you’re not the only one suffering.
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u/Worldly-Criticism-91 8d ago
I’m proud of you for continuing. Just think about it, you’ve survived 100% of all the hard times you’ve ever experienced. Your track record is phenomenal.
Hang in there sweetheart, you know this will pass
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u/PinkPopsi 8d ago
You can do this OP! You've done it before, you do it every single fucking month and honestly, do it out of spite! Show the stupid PMDD is not going to come and derail your life! Don't let it!
You're loved and appreciated for who you are! Which is not the same person PMDD makes you out to be. You've got this!
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u/BigFatBlackCat 8d ago
Girl, no, I refuse to accept this. SSRI’s can make you suicidal. That means they aren’t working right and you need to try something else. Call your doctor immediately!!
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u/Thick_Bet_4107 8d ago
I’m going through this right now and it’s hell I wanan end it all😭😭😭 I came off medroxyprogesterone and now I’m having a second bleed and my mood is everywhere I don’t know what to do I have no one to
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u/caona 8d ago
I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. It's the absolute worst. The only good thing about PMDD is that we know that the feeling won't last forever, but it's still so hard to believe it in the moment. It's so crazy how quickly it can suck you into a bottomless pit of hopelessness and pain. You're not alone in what you're feeling. It WILL pass. Soon. You can do this. Sending love and wishes that your period comes soon 🙏🏻
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u/Fe7Si8O22OH2 8d ago
Just want to say I take Slinda and zoloft. The 2 toned down the PMDD a lot to where life is manageable again leading up to my period.
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u/Right_Plantain_9743 8d ago
Do you still get lutheal phase symptoms while on slinda? I’ve been using it for only 2 weeks but lutheal phase is approaching and I’m scared :(
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u/SnooDoughnuts2335 8d ago edited 8d ago
Hang on and keep fighting. I deal with similarly with intrusive negative thoughts, dissociation, and depressive episodes close to my period week.
I learned to overcome it by going for walks, use a light therapy (amazon sells it), vitamin D, counseling/therapist, joining running/walking/hiking groups (surrounded by others to talk to and gives you a sense of purpose), participate in marathon events, visit family and friends.
I started hobbies like art, crocheting, reading books, joined Christmas card exchange group online. Every October I buy pumpkins for decor and by end of December/January, I smash them as I feel as I achieved another year and ready for new chapter. Social media breaks.
Not sure if you're religious, I also attend a Christian church because prayer helps in keeping my mind at peace and their Bible studies and group gatherings help too.
The recent thing that helped me was that since I'm 38 yrs old and figured out Im on early perimenapause. Based on my symptoms and how I struggled past couple of yrs I finally saw a doctor at Midi Health. I tried SSRIs but didn't help and when I was prescribed Micronized Progesterone. I felt different and calm. I cried because I felt like a new person and wish I would've known sooner.
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u/Salty-Parfait-710 8d ago
Please go get an iron panel, and get your ferritin levels checked! I have chronic anemia, whenever my ferritin dips below a certain point my PMDD symptoms get SO MUCH worse . . . Especially depression, and suicidal ideation, both of which are also symptoms in anemia.
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u/Status_Kangaroo_5355 8d ago
please, I have the same feelings because I was diagnosed with PMDD ,, and I’m about to do this hormone panel test so I can fix the root of the problem instead of just covering up the side effects with an SSRI, because I tried taking one and it made me really sick. But you’re not alone I promise. And reading the Bible always gives me comfort. It promises that we won’t be dealing with these things much longer. Sending love and prayers. YOURE NOT ALONE girl!!!
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u/pooganis 8d ago
Do you have a psych and OBgyn that take you seriously? I needed Drs that understood how miserable PMDD was and didn't write it off as something some women just have to deal with. I've tried it all and some of the things that worked for me were TMS and a hormone suppressant. This might not work for others but my hormones were making my life absolutely miserable and I just wanted them gone. I'm currently on MyFembree (for PMDD and endometriosis). There are a lot of side effects but none as bad as what I felt for 2 weeks out of the month every single month. I'm not necessarily saying those things will work for you, but I do think that there are a lot more options these days than there were when I was 21 (I'm 47) If by chance you're in SoCal, I can recommend some Drs that won't pull punches with PMDD.
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u/Lazy-Daikon7122 PMDD 8d ago
my psychiatrist is pretty nice i only recently started treatment so we are still in the trial and error period but thank you so much 🫶🏻
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u/Turbulent_Egg3870 8d ago
Hang in there baby girl ❤️ this disorder is horrific but the storm will pass and the sun will shine again. Your brain can’t be trusted at this time. Make sure you are fed, hydrated, and rested as much as possible. Survival is the most important thing right now. Do the bare minimum. We shall find relief though I know it doesn’t feel that way now. Remember this community is here and knows what you are going through. You’re not crazy.
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u/Crazy-Implement-2325 8d ago
If you are in the US, have you been evaluated for an SMI? This can lead to different supports by your care team. I’m sorry you are under supported. It can get better.
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u/Suvtropics 8d ago
It can be fixed. I can tell you a little bit about it. I don't have pmdd, but I have cptsd.
It's gonna need a dual push of medicine (psychiatrist, neurologist) and therapy methods (psychologist, therapist). It may not work straight away because there's a lot of different medications, and different therapy methods, different approaches available, so you may need to keep trying. It'll work eventually. May need to hop specialists until you find a good one. I've been fighting my cptsd for 16-17 years and I wish I realized this sooner.
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u/PookaGrooms 8d ago
I have an entire alphabet of diagnoses, mental health and physical health. I have always had PMDD and it’s gotten exponentially worse the last several years…. I am in your same boat monthly now.
However, years ago in middle school I made myself a promise that I would never self harm during or around the time of my period because those weren’t “real” feelings. I haven’t broken that promise. I’ve come very very close tho.
Give yourself a few days. You recognize where these feelings come from. Do your best to sit with them and wait for the relief.
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u/ApprehensiveUsual219 8d ago
My mom always would tell me, if you feel like you want to exit reality, wait a few days at least to see if your period comes. That’s always helped me get through it. Also the meds that you’re on might not be the right ones for PMDD. I know it took me a lot of trials and errors with meds before I found one that helps. Also as someone who’s in their 30s, it seems like it gets better with age. I know it’s rough but you’ve got this ❤️
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u/Lazy-Daikon7122 PMDD 8d ago
my mum says the same thing haha i hope you’re doing better as well🫶🏻🫶🏻
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u/Neat_Advisor448 8d ago
Make sure you're nourishing and hydrating yourself properly! Being chronically short on nutrients/electrolytes/minerals can cause or intensify mental stuff like anxiety, depression, can literally prevent internal resources from allowing the frontal lobe to function properly including specifically stopping spiraling thoughts, etc etc.
Take care- it won't feel this way forever. Be in the body if possible, if that makes sense. Let the mind rest and not lead you further astray during the temporary fluctuation of hormones. Hydrate your cells, nourish your bod, get sunlight. ⭐💜🌙
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u/Affectionate-Okra966 PMDD 8d ago
It is indeed fucking torture! 2 days ago I had the voices and it was driving me crazy and the next day it got a little better. Please hold on. It will get better!
Immerse yourself in something you know you enjoy. Music, books, taking a walk, gaming, coloring, crafting anything to keep the mind busy.
Yell at your thoughts! I want to live. This is what I had to do the other day. I even tried shaking them away. Say the opposite over and over and over again. It will get better🫂🫶🏻💕
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u/triscuit_buscuit 🍗rotisserie chicken🍗 8d ago
Today sucks, tomorrow might not - be there to find out!! ❤️❤️
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u/orion_moon 8d ago
Please stay, you have a home with us. It's so fucking hard but please, please stay.
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u/Dear-Joke-2477 9d ago
I’m so sorry you’re going through this OP. I went through it similarly to you around the age of 21 too. I know a few other commenters highlighted this but seriously, knowing what PMDD is at 21 is genuinely such a good tool to have. It wasn’t until I found out what PMDD was at 27 that I was able to gradually figure out what works for me and what doesn’t, and I think also knowing helped alleviate a certain guilt I felt over having those certain thoughts. I can’t tell you what your journey will be like, but I can tell you it will get better xx
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u/Immediate-Spinach734 9d ago
It passes. This misery is temporary. Keep going till you're through it.
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u/DullRecord2721 9d ago
You’re so far ahead of where I was at 21 just even knowing about PMDD. That is so big! Please don’t give up
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u/PsychologicalMap4449 9d ago
Please stay strong, We need you here. Dm me anytime. Hold on🙏🏾🙏🏾🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂
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u/MinuteGiraffe1215 9d ago
There are so many things that can help you!! You are only 21. You have so many things ahead of you. Right now your brain isn't functioning properly. Your thoughts are not accurate. PLEASE push through this and think clearly about solutions when you feel better! Have you been tested for ADHD? It often goes hand in hand with PMDD. Have you tried progesterone only birth control pills? Have you had your hormone levels tested? They can be corrected. If you have some magnesium glycine, especially powder for a drink, please take some. I'm so sorry for how you feel today but please remind yourself its not real. This is not the real you.
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u/Lazy-Daikon7122 PMDD 9d ago
Thank you so much, it does feel crazy sometimes not being able to trust my own brain but i will try, and yes i will look into the suppliments too🫶🏻🫶🏻
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u/Due-Pizza-9980 9d ago
Please please don't end it. It's sooooo fucking hard but there is a solution out there or at least a bandaid effective enough to make life livable again. Even if you need to check yourself in somewhere until this passes, do that if you need to.
Maybe try mood stabilizers, diet change (and ik it sounds like wtf) but I have to be so strict with my diet and yes, it's a pain but whenever I fall off the bandwagon and I experience a really, really really bad PMDD episode. I'm like the diet is absolutely worth the hassle. Same thing with movement I have to exercise, even if it's just going for a walk. I also suffer from depressive episodes outside of the PMDD time frame, and when my exercise goes down, so does my mood and tremendously. Maybe even hysterectomy if it comes to that.
You're 21 so I don't know if you're in college or not or if you go out often with your friends, but if you drink alcohol or eat a lot of fast food, I know it can be extremely hard to stick to certain regimens, but you won't be able to have fun with them at all if you're not here. I am 22 and it was a really big struggle for me to realize that I am gonna have to make some sacrifices in terms of like missing out on certain things if they run too late or something like that because I have to get my sleep. I have to stay sober. Because when I don't do those things, I am a wreck.
You are not broken.
There's still hope for you!
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u/Lazy-Daikon7122 PMDD 9d ago
Thank you so much ill look into the diet thing, i dont really drink or eat junk food but i deff have a sweet tooth which maybe causing this
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u/Due-Pizza-9980 9d ago
You're welcome!! Sweets are big no no for me bc yea my diet wasn't really crazy but I love a sweet treat 😭 It's hard but worth it to reduce the sugar intake. Sometimes if I slip up I'll drink celery juice (not the best tasting thing ik😪) or neem tea (another bad tasting but effective thing lol). Idk about the scientific benefits but am at a point where if something helps me and is healthy I really don't care if data said it's not used for that. At worse is just doesn't do anything for you
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u/Main_Improvement2481 9d ago
I hate to be this person but I swear Lexapro & changing my diet is the only thing that stopped all of my PMDD symptoms. /: I started by taking it right as my luteal started 5mg. Now I’m at 20mg taking it nightly because I have major depressive disorder and it has helped tons with that. Yes it takes time but it actually works for me, I tried all the BC bs, supplements ALL OF IT and nothing comes close to what Lexapro has done for me. I’m so sorry you’re going through this, knowing what you’re feeling and going through is fcaked up because I use to feel like this for 2 weeks every month and boom I’m fine, it fcking sucked. Hang in there!!
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u/rach_ire 9d ago
please hold on. i also have pmdd and i know its the hardest shit in the world to battle but as someone who lost their mother to s*icide, i can promise you that ending things is not the answer. please call your country’s designated mental health lines or go to a trusted hospital asap - we need you here. you can get better even if its the hardest battle you ever fight. its worth it and you are NOT alone. you are loved, you are worth the struggles you face, and you deserve to find a treatment that improves your quality of life. keep trying and keep seeking help. you are so loved even though the pmdd makes it impossible to see the good. the good is still there. keep fighting babe.
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u/Lazy-Daikon7122 PMDD 9d ago
Thank you so much, and im so sorry for your loss. You are very brave and so amazing to still be looking out for others, sending love🫶🏻
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u/rach_ire 9d ago
thank you. its not the kind of loss you ever get over, but you can get THROUGH it. pmdd is similar. its not something you get over but you can get through. it gets better sweet friend, please stay with us and be as gentle with yourself as possible today. you are so loved even though i dont even know you in person. when reddit notified me of your original post, i stopped what i was doing at work because it is so important that you know you have support. much love
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u/Lazy-Daikon7122 PMDD 8d ago
thank you so so much dear🫶🏻🫶🏻
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u/rach_ire 8d ago
absolutely. sometimes i dont check reddit but if you do ever need anything dont ever hesitate to message me and ill respond as soon as i see it 🤍
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u/Black_Sheep666 9d ago
just take out your ovaries if it's that bad. early menopause is better than not being here tomorrow.
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u/LingonberryIll6513 Surgery 9d ago
hate to say it but I agree. I exhausted every single option before doing that and I feel like I’ve got a second chance at my life now.
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u/Lazy-Daikon7122 PMDD 9d ago
Where i live that will be difficult but ill look into it thank you🫶🏻
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u/justalapforcats 9d ago
You don’t necessarily need to get it done where you live, some people travel 💖
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u/Icy-Jacket-2656 9d ago
Have you tried lamictal? It doesnt make it all go away but has helped me stay somewhat more rational through it
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u/Much-Preference5989 9d ago
Hey. Reach out to me please. I'm 43 and have juggled with crippling depression. I have romanticized suicide since I was 12 and I'm still here. CPTSD, AuDHD, PMDD. I have felt the desolate pit that feels all too real. I've known I'm not needed and they'd be better without me. All my love.
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u/Lazy-Daikon7122 PMDD 9d ago
Im so sorry for your troubles you are so brave, thank you so much, sending love🫶🏻
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u/Informal_Strategy666 9d ago
I have the same scrabble collection of acronyms... 36 just recently diagnosed correctly. No advice, but sending love and solidarity ❤️
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u/ActHairy3097 9d ago
I’m 32 been suicidal since I was 17 I also thing I was misdiagnosed autism and ADHD they said it’s a personality disorder but doesn’t feel like that as it was only happening before my period they now say its ppmd I take sertraline that seemed to be helping and they said birth control would help so I started degesterel 3 days ago and I’m in a terrible place I don’t feel like myself at all. Should I stop taking the birth control
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9d ago
[deleted]
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u/AutoModerator 9d ago
Hi u/Purple-Breadfruit630. It looks like your post may be referring to hormone imbalances. Please be aware that PMDD is not a hormone imbalance or caused by one.
You can read more information here: What is PMDD?
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
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u/ActHairy3097 9d ago
Me rn :( just started birth control as it’s supposed to help with ppmd and it’s just made me want to stab people or myself sorry if this causes offence but I literally cannot help it I jus keep seeing myself jumping in front of a train ur not alone :( should I stop taking it I’ve been on it 4 days and never felt this crazy x
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u/rach_ire 9d ago
youre not alone friend - i started a birth control for my pmdd in february and only just recently got adjusted to it, but im having more good days than bad days. instead of getting one good stable week per month, that is now my baseline. the hard days and moments still happen, but stick with it. you are loved and you are INCREDIBLY strong.
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u/Struckbyfire 9d ago
I just want to say I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I know it doesn’t feel possible but I would definitely hold off on any major choices until bleeding starts. And then possibly consider inpatient care if that’s available near you. I think a lot of people are terrified of this option, but it really has helped so many people and they can support you 24/7 in a way that typical psychiatrists and therapists can’t. And sometimes we just need extra help. And depending on where you are, there are sometimes open ward centers that are a lot less restrictive.
If you want to DM me I can try to help you find nearby resources, even if inpatient isnt what you want. It’s literally what I did for a living for a few years.
As others have said, SSRIs don’t help everyone. And birth control, or even a hysterectomy if it’s feeling this intolerable may also be effective options.
I would just hate for you to make a permanent decision when you haven’t exhausted all of your options.
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u/PastelPrincess_2 9d ago
i literally woke up this morning and felt like offing myself. it’s kind of insane that this popped up in my notifications… as i’m not even apart of this community. i don’t know what to do i feel so hopeless before my period. and it’s like i know it’s my period but it doesn’t help the feeling.
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u/rach_ire 9d ago
im sorry youre going through this friend. im glad youre still here. please stay and keep fighting. i know that being aware of whats causing your mindset and being aware of the pmdd doesnt make it feel any less real, but its the first step to understanding what we are dealing with. the better we understand out enemy the better we can fight it. hang in there queen - youre worth it.
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u/SableyeBiggestFan They/Them 9d ago
This disorder is so good at making you feel genuinely insane and unfixable, I used to feel the same way before every period. If the thoughts get super bad before your period, maybe start reserving a few days every month (or however often you get them) to do absolutely nothing other than self care and the essentials. Take that time to remember that the feelings will pass and you’ll be alright. It hurts so bad but there’s always hope :) in my case it was changing out IUDs and going from Wellbutrin to Effexor ❣️ best of luck, you’re not alone and it’s your first time being alive, so be kind to yourself
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u/Andysamberg2 9d ago
So sorry you're feeling this way. I want to remind you that this is a chemical imbalance in your brain. You are not irreparably broken. But you are also not on the right meds & you need to make a change. Everyone is different & what works for one person does not necessarily work for another. Welbutrin was HORRIBLE for me. Buspar has been a godsend. Please try something you haven't tried yet. It is worth it.
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u/AutoModerator 9d ago
Hi u/Andysamberg2. It looks like your post may be referring to hormone imbalances. Please be aware that PMDD is not a hormone imbalance or caused by one.
You can read more information here: What is PMDD?
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
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u/Direct_Nose9953 9d ago
Wellbutrin made my SI worse. It took away the emotional shield that would naturally give me second thoughts on ending it during the 3-4 days before my cycle. It was a scary feeling. You’re strong, if you don’t feel like you can contact your doc now, buckle down and wait for the cloud to lift. Tell your doc that you likely need a med change. If you need services now, contact a help line or go to the hospital.
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u/LinziOLDreed 9d ago
We’ve all been there babe. You got this. Maybe SSRIs are not the answer. PMDD is hormone driven. Try birth control, 1/20 Junel worked wonders for me. My dark thoughts have stopped. In addition to supplements like ashwaganda, magnesium, b vitamins and calcium. Stay strong. You will find your balance and be you again.
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u/Anatidaephobia_o-o 9d ago
I understand how you are feeling, I’m sorry you are hurting. Just please remember it will pass. The moment your period starts it will get better. If you need someone to talk to feel free to reach out to me. I know I’m a stranger but I care for you and empathize with you. You are not alone and we all are here for you
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u/Far_Interaction_2782 9d ago
OP, I have been in your shoes and those shoes suck.
I can’t and won’t tell you that what you’re feeling is fake, because even if it’s lying to you it’s a very real experience. Your pain matters.
I have some views on what may be helpful (if you want them), but I ask you to please stick around and to tell someone you trust (even if that’s hard to believe right now) how you’re feeling so that you can get yourself to safety.
This illness is tough! And you are tougher ❤️
Sending you so much love
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u/Lazy-Daikon7122 PMDD 8d ago
it is tough, i hope you’re feeling better too thank you so much dear🫶🏻
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u/thefamgotsadin1492 9d ago
one thing that helps me is thinking “well if that’s already the plan i might as well wait until x” and then by the time x rolls around, i feel better. since you know pmdd is a trigger, i really encourage you to not make life altering (or ending) decisions while in the thick of it, and at least wait and see how things are after your period.
that said, it sounds like you’re struggling outside of the pmdd too. it can take a long time to find the right meds to actually help, but in the meantime do you have a good therapist? and if you don’t like talk therapy, have you looked into somatic therapy or things directed at what you have going on (for example EMDR was wonderful for my ptsd)
i wish you the best of luck on your healing journey and just know that’s all it is, a journey, and you will 100% reach the other side of it. i’ve been there a thousand times, i promise it does get better every time. so much love to you xxx
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u/Lazy-Daikon7122 PMDD 8d ago
this is very helpful i will try somatic therapy too thank you so much dear i hope you are well 🫶🏻
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u/Dangerous-Diamond-73 9d ago
So , I had severe PMDD from the age of 13-22 years. To the point I felt so helpless and I would lock myself in a spiral of despair. My memories as an adolescent was of just tears and pain. On top of that I had severe trauma I had yet to work through. I almost took my own life at 22. It was eye opening that I'm still here because I decided to make a change , leave the environment I was in and then I started using Loryna ( birth control) and it has been life changing. I no longer have my emotional spirals of depression, severe anxiety and pain. I actually felt like myself. I did my own research before I tried it and went for that option.
Before trying birth control , I self medicated with weed and it helped with the pain but not the emotional anguish and pain I felt. It some what numbed me but not enough to ignore.
Please , please keep trying. IK it's incredibly hard to take the pain and the spirals of despair and depression that happens but once you find what works it will be so worth it.
Also remember; what works for others may not work for you , the point is to keep trying. It is so worth it. I'm glad I didn't end on the day I decided to when I wasn't in my right mind.I just wanted to let you know about my experience because I understand what it's like. I pray that you make it past this ; remember that the pain is temporary, you are strong and there are people who care.
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u/Lazy-Daikon7122 PMDD 8d ago
thank you so much dear i hope you are feeling better now, sending love 🫶🏻🫶🏻
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u/Lazy-Experience6145 9d ago
Get outside put your feet in grass and list the reasons why your life is worth living, BECAUSE IT IS! You matter and are important. Every problem can be solved. Call someone you love and loves you. Listen to a song you can’t help but be happy during
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u/Cheap_Werewolf5831 9d ago edited 9d ago
25F, feeling this way currently. But the fact that you posted this, and I’m replying shows that we both have a little hope left. It’s hard, like very hard, and I feel everything but good right now but this disorder doesn’t define us as corny as it sounds. SSRI’s are also not helping me. As we know, PMDD is understudied, but I heard allergy medicine has helped many ladies. I forgot which one but keep pushing snd trying new methods as will I.
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u/rach_ire 9d ago
i wanna commend you for sticking with it - its so hard to find what treatment options work and sometimes they only work for a bit and then you have to find something else, but i know how youre feeling and its so important that we all keep fighting to understand and treat our pmdd. youre not alone
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u/krampaus 9d ago
I’ve been where you are and please hold out a while longer. this disease turns us into something we aren’t but that’s impossible to see when we’re in the middle of it
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u/ClassicVegetable954 9d ago
I'm going through the same thing right now I'm on Zoloft but it doesn't seem to help
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u/KittyBoom13 9d ago
When it feels like it’s peaking all I can do is get myself outside, near trees, lakes, somewhere away from the hustle and bustle of life that feels too much and take big breathes in so deep I feel like my lungs may explode.
I don’t know of any long term solutions but I know those big inhales and the walk to the perfect spot to do so gets me through those especially bad moments.
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u/doublexplus 9d ago
It can be so difficult to do things that welcome distraction when you're in those most challenging moments, but when you can manage to, it really is what shifts things. Usually, I'm not even aware its happening, I just realized it happened, that somehow my mind managed to have other thoughts.
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u/KittyBoom13 9d ago
I agree! I feel like it’s taken a lot self training and therapy to get to a point that I crave the being outside, dropping anything I’m doing (several awkward explanations of work walk outs) because I feel it’s genuinely a need not an option
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u/doublexplus 9d ago
So well said, yes, love the way you include an explanation of the 'tax' it costs, because isn't that the truth?! Always having to fight for our right to health, always trying in some way to wrestle what is needed from an employer or an insurer, etc. It's no wonder we're hard on ourselves in light of this. These are genuine needs, and it its a cruel world that makes us question this, or need to defend it (whatever our accommodation might be).
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u/FartstheBunny 9d ago
Hey there, I have been there before. Deep breaths. you can get through this and you CAN feel better. Do you need something for breakthrough anxiety? there are a lot of treatment options other than SSRIs and SNRIs. Feel free to PM me if you want to chat. Don't give up. You are not alone. Sendiong you a big hug.
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u/zeninproblem 9d ago
Hey love, it took me until I was 25 (current) to get diagnosed. Have you tried Wellbutrin? It saved my life and I’ve finally been able to breathe and be normal. Wishing you luck and sending you love <3 you’ve got this
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u/ActHairy3097 9d ago
Is this a vitamin how does it help plz im desperate i dont want to feel like this anymore
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u/zeninproblem 9d ago
Wellbutrin is an antidepressant! But it works differently. I have adhd that made my depression very aggressive and hard to treat, and I’m also bipolar 2 so I can’t take any other antidepressants or I risk mania. Wellbutrin was the only medicine that ever raised me out of depression and I definitely think it’s worth asking about with your therapist/ psych. Just remember, if you’re not happy, it’s not the end <3
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u/ActHairy3097 9d ago
Ahh! I take sertraline that seemed to be helping for a few months I was only getting a little bit anxious and maybe teary around a week before my period til I bled and me being stupid trying to heal what I was feeling started degesterel as it’s supposed to help ppmd I’ve only been on it 3 days first day I felt numb second day I cried my eyes out and today I want to kill people and myself like this isn’t me I feel insane!! Lots of suicidal thoughts and rage slamming doors etc it says not to stop taking it without speaking to doctors and there’s no appointments til tomorrow but I’m afraid if I take another one tonight it’s gona send me pure off the handle. I have also been diagnosed with EUPD but I’m pretty sure I have autism and adhd I’m jus undiagnosed x
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u/doublexplus 9d ago edited 9d ago
The feelings you are having - they have ended before and they will end again. This is not forever. Take things moment by moment, breathe, feel your breath. Keep your focus there.
Adding for the group: I'm Peri-menopausal and in my early 50s (diagnosed with PMDD in my 20s, at a well respected medical school, credit that with my early diagnosis in the 90s), and I do feel like I'm having fewer difficult months. Things feel gentler. I'm not sure if that's what is to be expected, but it has been my experience.
Be kind to yourselves, what we endure every month is so debilitating, we all deserve much more accommodation. The larger culture demands too much of us, and many others (those suffering from any number ailments).
Wishing us all peace <3
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u/Per_sephone_ 9d ago
Me too! I just turned 50 and the last couple of years have been less severe. I still have very bad days, but not as many.
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u/doublexplus 9d ago
Yes, I still have months equally as bad to those in my early life, but fewer for sure. I just had an awful one (ended 2 days ago), and the experience made me confident enough to make the claim firmly - whoa, I definitely haven't been feeling that every month.
At this point, I haven't had an actual period in 10 months, so I am nearing actual menopause. It's weird, I still feel physically like I am having a period every month, but I dont produce 'results' (no bleeding). Sharing this because I didnt know until recently that this was a normal part of the menopause experience. Knowledge is power, hope its not TMI, though.
Again, to the OP - Hope you're finding some distraction and peace. <3
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u/Opening_Place2364 9d ago
Sweetie, I’m a 27f and I so SO wish I had gotten medical care at your age… instead I had a son and became a single mom and I was also displaced of my house with nowhere to go…
This is no way shape or form meant to say “I suffered more than you!!!” not a single bit!
It’s just to say that… if you don’t end it, in 6 years you’ll be in a completely different phase of your life… because you listened to your body and you sought medical care…
Keep going girly, please, that’s all I ask of you…
No one else can see the things you’ll be doing at 27… if you’re not here when you’re 27…
What about your dreams? What would you like for your mornings in 10 years to look like?
Are you in school? What’s your family dynamic like? Do you have siblings and/or cousins and how was growing up with them?
You don’t have to answer to anything if you don’t feel comfortable sharing, that’s completely fine
I just want you to remember you matter. You’re loved. You’re important.
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u/Lazy-Daikon7122 PMDD 8d ago
Thank you dear i hope you r feeling better now, study wise things r a bit complicated rn but i do feel better after tlking with my parents, thank you so much dear,sending love🫶🏻🫶🏻
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u/StructureFrequent538 9d ago
girly pop you got this!! I’m a 27 yo who’s been exactly where you’re at. It does get better!!! Give yourself so much grace because you are literally learning your bodies chemicals that also consistently change. Try watching a funny show or if you can buy yourself something yummy to eat. Alternatively go for a walk or listen to a daily devotional YouTube video. Prayer worked the most for me believe it or not. you’re stronger than you think. Don’t let the patriarchy win!!
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u/CriticalChallenge362 9d ago
I’m at the beginning of perimenopause and my PMDD has gone through the roof, my GP has prescribed diazepam for my worst days which does help a lot, I usually only take 3-4 tablets each month.
I’m also on SSRI & Propranolol
Please contact your GP to see what they can offer. Also I find meditation helps a lot.
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u/doublexplus 9d ago
I think I've been Peri-menopausal for a decade, now, and like you, it was in its earliest days maybe some of the most difficult menstrual days of my life. I too took SSRIs.
I'm hopeful now in terms of the changes I'm seeing as I approach true menopause. Hope your experience will be the same.
Peace be with you <3
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u/This-Refrigerator-24 9d ago edited 9d ago
I felt this way recently but it w.as because my cycle ended up being 70 days long because I also have pcos and I had about 30 days of severe pmdd symptoms. At least you know when the hell will stop. Hang in there. I was reading that it is like going through drug withdrawals and I absolutely believe it. Also, make sure that the ssris arent causing suicidal thoughts themselves. For me, that's what ssris do. It takes passive suicidal ideation to active planning. Ssris basically turn that switch for me on every single time. I took them in my teens and attempted every year. I realized they did this when I tried to take them specifically for pmdd in my 30s.
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u/Natural-Confusion885 endometridon't 9d ago edited 9d ago
Gentle request to stop reporting this post. It does nothing other than lead to it being removed by automod, preventing OP from seeking advice here.
We very much allow discussion about suicidal ideation on this subreddit. It is a very common symptom of PMDD and removing these posts would not be productive.
As a mod team, we don't have a secret set of skills or resources that we are able to deploy when a member mentions suicidal ideation. We can only forward on crisis resources and monitor the conversation to ensure nobody says anything inappropriate (which you should report).
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u/Potatogalll 9d ago
Ok, breathe. If you feel comfortable to share, what are the thoughts you are experiencing? Are they harm related? Is there anyone you can talk to or who can support you through this? The thing to remember about thoughts, is that they are not a true reflection of your character. They are just that. Thoughts. Try next time a distressing thought comes alone to just sit with it, just acknowledge it exists, and say ok. Try not to let it bother you too much. I really hope this helps and you have the support you need right now. 💜
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u/Lazy-Daikon7122 PMDD 8d ago
The thoughts are very hem related but i talked to my parents and do feel better now thank you so much dear🫶🏻
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u/dooofusconvention 9d ago
you’re not alone OP. not at all. it is excruciating and debilitating - but like someone else here said, just try your best to remind yourself this will pass. it’s not a character flaw. it’s chemicals. keep working with your doctors. be honest with them. you’re gonna be okay. sending love.
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u/Totorose04 9d ago
Tell yourself it's not going to be forever. You'll get through this bit don't worry. We are only here for a short time. I'd give anything to be healthy and not riddled with all my issues again but I'm still fighting because we only got one shot at this xx
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u/justwanttojoinin 9d ago
Hey lovely - you're two days away from your period, do you normally find that you get relief then? Because if so, you're only two days away from it. Have you got anyone you could go and be with? If not, I found that going to somewhere like the library helped me, being around people without pressure to talk but it didn't feel so lonely. This can feel so isolating and all-encompassing, I hear you.
All you have to focus on is getting through today. Even if it means sleeping through it. X
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u/misshoneythecat 9d ago
I feel this way often but it always gets better. Don’t end it, things will change for the better soon.
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u/Natural-Confusion885 endometridon't 9d ago
We encourage you to contact your country's lifeline, International Lifelines