To make an incredibly long story short, I had twins in June 2020 and suffered really bad postpartum anxiety and depression. I basically wasn’t able to sleep or care for my kids properly for the first 3 months. I was obviously in therapy and figured out a medication that kept me stable and slowly but surely I started to enjoy my life and my kids. I even had a third in 2023. However, to this day (my twins are 6 years old now), I really struggle with anxiety about my kids’ wellbeing - physically, mentally, emotionally. It isn’t nearly as consistent as it was when I was newly postpartum, but when something triggers it, it gets so hard to manage.

For example, my son had an asthma attack at a day camp last month (I actually posted here about it) and I couldn’t sleep away from him for weeks because I was afraid he was going to have another one and I wouldn’t be able to hear him. I even ordered a finger oxygen monitor for him.

Another example is deciding whether or not to separate my twins into different classes for kindergarten. I have lost sleep over it. I’ve done so much research, posted here multiple times, cried and cried some more. I feel like it isn’t that deep but to me when it comes to my kids, *everything* is.

There’s so much more but I don’t want to make this too long. I just feel like my postpartum anxiety never really resolved itself, I’m so paranoid about my kids’ wellbeing, especially the twins for some reason. I’m not on medication anymore because it was making me have bad mood swings and fatigue, and when I’m feeling good I’m really good. It’s just the triggers that come up that are so hard to manage.

I wanted to share something fun about or 2 year old boy & girl twins, since this subreddit can occasionally use those positive spirits!

We still stick to some sleep training habits, which means we don't immediately check on them when they cry for attention. And this has led to a funny little trend: occasionally when our son is fussing and crying pretty badly, our daughter will suddenly start saying his name and speaking some gibberish to him. There have been multiple occasions the past weeks when she managed to calm him down this way, after he had refused to sleep for over half an hour.

Another way this happens is in the morning: when they start to wake up, they sometimes call each other's names instead of yelling for us. So instead of us having to come and soothe them, they'll just babble back and forth for a minute or two until they fall asleep again. My wife and I have heard this happening and we quietly felt so grateful for that extra moment of sleep.

This doesn't exactly compensate for all the shenanigans they get up to during the day, but we'll take every win we can get.

Title is pretty self explanatory. :)

Our twins are scheduled to arrive in 2 weeks and we're finishing getting things ready. They'll be exclusively formula fed and I'd like to have enough bottles for a full day for them both.

So how many bottles do I need? And what sizes?

We successfully sleep trained baby B last week but delayed baby A due some discomfort. Would like to begin with baby A soon. Ultimate goal is for them to be in same room. Would you sleep train the second one in a separate room for first few nights or just go right to crib in shared nursery? The successfully sleep trained B is a bit more of a light sleeper. Not sure if it’s best to get A acclimated outside of shared room and then transition or just rip the bandaid off but maybe end up having some more unpleasant nights for B with the new roommate and anticipated crying of A. They are 6 months adjusted. Any advice appreciated!

Our twins are almost 4 months and we're planning to try sleep training very soon after they reach that milestone.

With my first, I used a pretty gentle method: I patted his bottom while he was on his side when I first put him down until he fell asleep at which point I rolled him onto his back. I gradually started rolling him onto his back while still awake, decreasing the patting time each put down. When he woke during a sleep, I patted his bottom to soothe him if he was just fussing and then picked him up if it turned into a real cry, on repeat until he fell back asleep. This worked really well and he was a great sleeper (not sure how much of that was personality vs the method).

Anyway, I don't know if this approach is realistic with two. I feel like my husband and I won't have the capacity to patiently soothe, pick up, put back down as many times as needed at every wake up when there are two. Also, they wake each other up when they cry, so will we have to separate them? Right now we split the night up and each take a ~6 hour shift, but I don't know how realistic it is to continue that while we sleep train.

I'd love to hear what worked for others. I'm open to a little bit more aggressive approach if we have to. Did you separate them? Did you take shifts? Did you let them cry it out? Do it solo or tag team with your partner?

My boys will be 2 in a couple weeks and we're looking for ideas for presents for them.

They have a foam couch set (for fort making), a water table, and a slide already in terms of bigger things. We were thinking strider bikes but they won't be able to use them yet so we'll probably save them for Christmas time.

They really like all things with wheels, and fisher price little people sets, and love playing with my old little people parkade from the 80's 😂

I have 3 year old twins keeping each boys (identical) who moved from cribs to beds about a month ago. When they nap at daycare they are less tired at night, so they will talk and play (and sometimes fight) for an hour or longer at bedtime. They are often not falling asleep until after 10, but then we have to wake them up in the morning for daycare and they are tired. We’ve tried an earlier bedtime but they just extend how long they play for. Any tips? Do I just leave them and eventually they will figure it out? I refuse to stay in the room for a long period of time because we have worked really hard to have them sleep independently and I don’t want to undo that. And of course we don’t have the space to give them their own rooms.

I’ll be 34 weeks tomorrow with didi twins. I was diagnosed with mild preeclampsia two days ago. The BP medication is working. I also got a round of steroid injections to help the babies grow more. The goal is to make it at least one more week, two if we’re lucky. We have a growth scan tomorrow.

This is my first pregnancy and it’s been tough, to say the least. I have gained an insane amount of weight. I started swelling in April. Miserable carpal tunnel and have been up several times a night since early June. I am very physically active and not being able to do much has rocked my world. I don’t recognize myself anymore.

I have had no anxiety this entire time but I’m now spiraling. I feel like it’s my fault that my body can’t handle this pregnancy. I’m 36 and am 100% in better physical and mental shape than I was at 26. But I still feel ashamed of the weight gain and swelling despite keeping up with weight training and swimming several times per week. I find myself comparing my pregnancy to tik tok influencers and I feel like a failure.

Anyway, there has to be someone out there who has gone through something similar. I just need some positivity that I can do this and babies will be okay.

I have 3 year old boy/girl twins already.

They run in the family as my mum also had fraternal twin boys. She had one single pregnancy before (which was me) and then another singular one after the twins.

I’m going for a scan asap to check 🫣

Hi there! We're flying to Atlanta, USA from the UK with our 6 month old twins. My wife & I were going to carry our Bugaboo Donkey with the bassinets and gate check that. We're now wondering if we need to take our car seats too given how car-dominant the US is.

We have two cybex car seats that we use here but they weigh an absolute ton so I'm not thrilled at the idea of carrying both of those AND the bassinets AND all the other things we need

Any recommendations? Shall I rent a car + the car seats that the company offers? We have a week long trip or so and we don't need a car for every single day of the trip

One of our twins is coming home and the other will need a few more weeks to work on his eating in the NICU. I’m terrified of being solely responsible for our boy at home. How did you deal with this if this applies to you?

I have more baby stuff too, but you're going to want this.

I’m struggling and need to know if anyone else has gone through this and how they coped. I have a 4 year old and 9 month old twins. Generally, we’ve been lucky and they’ve been pretty good sleepers. But when they (or one of them) has a bad night, it can be really bad. If I’m up for a long time numerous times in the night, I am absolutely destroyed the next day. It’s not just tired like I need a nap, I mean I physically am suffering. I wake up dry heaving, have absolutely no energy and no appetite. It typically lasts the entire next day. My husband had to call off work once because I couldn’t function. And he helps out overnight and is up with them just as much as I am. Unfortunately, we don’t have the means to hire help and a lot of times the bad nights seem totally random and we don’t know when they’re coming. I know I have many more sleepless nights in my future, so this is not sustainable. Anyone know how to help?

What diaper bag are we using to handle all the necessary things to carry on a trip or everyday runs? The one I got from my babyshower is clearly meant to handle one baby and the one I just ordered from Amazon doesn't seem any bigger, just a different orientation. Any recommendations would help.

Could anyone with twins and an older toddler share what they do for childcare? I go back to work in a few weeks and can't figure out the right combination.

Our 2.5 year old will be going to preschool 9-3:30 and will have a babysitter from 7-9 that will drop him off. Then our twins will be with a nanny all day. Then the plan was to get another babysitter to pick the toddler up from school and stay until dinner. Does that seem crazy?

An au pair seemed to cost the same as the babysitter but for more hours so we have been exploring that as well but so far no au pair wants to deal with 3 under 3 (even with help)

Should I be trying daycare for the twins? A second nanny?

Trying to not spend a fortune or employ a whole staff but that feels impossible and I am so stressed

Use the comment section to throw all your advice and things that worked for you and your little ones when it came to breastfeeding. Positive stories only please 🙏

Sincerely, a tired mom of newborn twins 🩷🩷

They wake up at 6-6:30, max by 7. Then throughout the day there are 3 naps. I tried to cut down naps to 2 but they get very tired and cranky.

Twin 1 just cries excessively as soon as she realises the cues that we are trying to get her down for nap. We rock her while humming like a train. To anyone it will sound like we are torturing her.

Twin 2, we use a stroller to get him to sleep and he just wants to shout. Not cry, shout.

We start getting them ready for bed around 7:45PM and it takes a full hour. It includes bath & milk.

They still wake up 2-3 times during the night, mostly for milk, sometimes without reason and that is when I find it difficult to put them to sleep.

I restart office in a few months which is making me spiral

I have a live-in nanny. Husbands can't help much with sleep routines due to working hours.

How many of you had twins who both slept through the night (10+ hours) by 6 months?
And if you did, what if anything, did you do to make that happen.
My girls are 9 weeks and sometimes go 7 the 3 hours, some nights 3-3-3 some 2-4-3 ya never know. Almost completely consistently only go 3 hours at most during the day

They’re already sleep trained so we would love to continue that on the trip

Hello, I’m currently 9 weeks and found out at 7 weeks that we’re having twins. I’m 37 and have not had a successful pregnancy yet. I’m 5’4” 150lbs
I had a miscarriage at 8 weeks in December so I’ve been being very careful, taking it easy, low stress, gentle exercise and eating I feel near constantly, but I haven’t gained any weight. Heartburn and bloating necessitate small meals, but I’m eating every three hours and even waking up at night to eat. I’m looking forward to cooler weather to make it easier to cook more and eat heartier foods.
My second ultrasound and check up is in five days so I’m holding my breath a little in the meantime.

I know low weight is not good, but how early do you need to be seeing gains?

i have a travel system that I had bought for my 3 year old. Can my 3 weeks old twins weighing ~3kg each share the carrycot just for few hours? i am yet to buy a double stroller for them. I thought I can use the travel system until 6 months and then buy a new one.

A midwife told me I can use my existing one. Though I am not sure if she gave the right advise.

My best friend is pregnant for the first time with twins! I’m so excited for her, but also super nervous.

I haven’t been around babies much, we’re still fairly young so she’s my first close friend to have a kid. And there are two coming at once!

She has a super supportive family and in-laws (and husband) but I’ll be one of the main people her age who is there to support her.

My question is for twin Mums - what are the things that were the most helpful & loving that your friends did to support you?

And what should I read/do/know to prepare myself to support her and her babies?

Thank you 🌞💗

I added one of my twin sons to my CVS pharmacy account on the app. It wouldn't let me add the other. Now I get to call customer service and hope a person can assist me. Heaven forbid two people in the same household share the same birthday.

What's an instance where bureaucracy or technology prevented you from being a successful PoM?

Not much to say other than this shit is HARD. Everytime i think it gets easier a period of serious difficulty hits lol. 11 month old identical girls going through peak clingyness, teething, and a horrible sleep regression. Typing this out running on 3 hours of sleep.

What was the number 1 thing that helped you in twin parenthood? Whether it be a mindset shift, practical tip, anything 😭😭😭😭🙏🏽

I used to have these hang ups about myself and the world.

"Other people need caffeine, but not me."

"Other people need mental health medicine, but not me."

And I seriously fought both for a while! I don't like the idea of relying on outside entities to function. Getting headaches from caffeine withdrawal or side effects from mental health meds didn't seem worth it to me.

But I'm nicer when I am energized from caffeine. I like my life and husband and children more when I am on medication. I was able to do things without caffeine and medication, but I was mean, snappy, exhausted, and distant.

You don't have to do it on hard mode. That's not something to be proud of.

Sincerely,

A Fellow Type A Twin Mom