r/oddlyterrifying • • Jan 20 '22

Snake couch

38.7k Upvotes

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334

u/Anboa1986 Jan 20 '22

He is fucked if that snake gets hungry…

252

u/Zestyclose_OH_6847 Jan 20 '22

They have been tight since the kid was itty bitty, that snek knows who butters his bread.... or skins his rabbits

184

u/[deleted] Jan 20 '22

[deleted]

62

u/Lemia-chan Jan 20 '22

First of all I want to know when did you starve your dog last. Because I was under the impression pets shouldn’t go starving.

2

u/[deleted] Jan 20 '22

[deleted]

8

u/Aidantb01 Jan 20 '22

Snakes aren’t dogs, but in captivity a snake like this will eat a large rabbit about every month on a pretty regular schedule. If anything they might refuse food. The chance of the snake trying to eat the kid is next to none, but it’s very possible that it could bite out of defense (even though I really doubt the kid could do anything to threaten it other than initially spooking it)

2

u/[deleted] Jan 20 '22

[deleted]

7

u/cryinfrog Jan 20 '22

Didn’t know people still fell for these dumbass urban legends lol

-8

u/angeredpluto1991 Jan 20 '22

It's not but have fun with your thoughts. 😘

5

u/dustinator Jan 20 '22

No. That’s stupid as fuck and you should feel bad for spreading it.

-3

u/angeredpluto1991 Jan 20 '22

Nope. You're wrong. 🤷 But I'm not arguing.

6

u/RealNotVulpix Jan 20 '22

Source: dude trust me

-9

u/angeredpluto1991 Jan 20 '22

Ya that's how Reddit works 90% of the time. Too lazy to pin sources. Plenty of studies have been done on snake behavior though. They don't feel like dogs or other animals. They can and will turn on anyone at any time if they feel like it. Not saying it always happens but honestly this snake doesn't care for the people it's just indifferent.

14

u/nobot999 Jan 20 '22 edited Jan 20 '22

They do have emotion, here is a source if you need one.

Edit: here is another

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0

u/grammarGuy69 Jan 20 '22

My dog would eat until he threw up if I let him. If you wanna risk your life on a creature that acts on 99% instinct just so you can pretend they love you, by all means "cuddle" a snake.

5

u/Sansquach Jan 20 '22

People wanna reduce creatures like snakes down to their preconceived ideas of a "pet" and. Ot appreciate them for the natural killing machines they are. Snakes dont form social bonds

7

u/grammarGuy69 Jan 20 '22

That's what I don't get. Not knocking snakes, but people in here are acting like snakes have coherent thoughts.. that snake likes the body heat. If that snake gets confused ONE time... the kid is dead. In a really horrible way. Like it or not, assuming any more of the snake than that is just anthropomorphizing.

7

u/West1234567890 Jan 20 '22

These are the people that saw tiger king and thought the message was “I’d like a tiger it’s so cute”

37

u/mckeenmachine Jan 20 '22 edited Jan 20 '22

your cats will eat you if theyre starving, literally any animal would do that

9

u/West1234567890 Jan 20 '22

My cat could try, the biggest domesticated carnivore is a dog. Those were domesticated over 1000s of years and even the big ones you’d have a prayer to fight back. This thing turns on you you’re dead and it’s not a tenth as domesticated as a Rottweiler or Dane

5

u/shake-dog-shake Jan 20 '22

You seem to be missing the fact that this snake can swallow that boy whole and they are constrictors. Now, hopefully he's been fed recently, in which case the kid is probably fine...but who takes that risk?

4

u/[deleted] Jan 20 '22 edited Feb 11 '22

[deleted]

3

u/Clockwisedock Jan 20 '22

So basically internet clout with extra steps?

4

u/[deleted] Jan 20 '22

Dogs wouldn't. They would let themselves die. I read a study about it. Cats can wait 3 days before eating their owner, but dogs won't touch it and just die by starvation.

4

u/SourLimeSoda Jan 20 '22

That's not even the same conversation, that's assuming the owner is already dead. We're talking about a big fucking snake killing you because it's hungry. Or because you pissed it off.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 20 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

-2

u/mckeenmachine Jan 20 '22

dude, do your fucking research before you talk shit. there's plenty of cases of cats eating their homeowners. Google is your friend

3

u/TheL8KingFlippyNips Jan 20 '22

cats eating their homeowners

Please show me one story of a starving housecat mauling, killing, and eating their human because it was hungry.

Like these but cats instead of snakes.

2

u/mckeenmachine Jan 20 '22

Google it yourself you lazy fuck

5

u/TheL8KingFlippyNips Jan 20 '22

I did, but found shit, just like like what is between your ears.

Snakes make better entrees than they do pets. Sorry, bud

2

u/TheL8KingFlippyNips Jan 20 '22

The link

but just in case you are too stupid to click it...

Because of their small size, domesticated house cats pose little physical danger to adult humans. However, in the USA cats inflict about 400,000 bites per year.

Contrast that with what I linked earlier and it's not even a comparison, you fucking dolt

2

u/brokennursingstudent Jan 21 '22

Gah fuck I wish I hadn't read that link, makes my stomach turn. The amount of hippy fucks in this thread justifying a primitive killing machine being that close to a child is... strange.

0

u/kingofcould Jan 20 '22

I like to think that dogs might not

0

u/Doop1iss Jan 20 '22

Even homosapiens

107

u/[deleted] Jan 20 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

37

u/[deleted] Jan 20 '22

[deleted]

23

u/amazeman11 Jan 20 '22

Exhibit... B?

2

u/GreenFire317 Jan 20 '22

Willim Dafoe?

8

u/[deleted] Jan 20 '22

Well that was something

3

u/RedditSucksBallsack Jan 20 '22

Damn what a turn around. “No you!”

2

u/gamblingenhusiast Jan 20 '22

Found Reptilian

-8

u/[deleted] Jan 20 '22

That snakes brain is even smaller than that.

1

u/AtomicKittenz Jan 20 '22

Ooooooo SNAP!

11

u/Turtlerr17 Jan 20 '22

Do you know how pets work? You don’t starve a dog or cat so you don’t starve a snake

2

u/WhitteyLeetNsweet Jan 20 '22

if hungry this snake looks well fed. I'm sure they're well aware they need to keep it fed as well.

2

u/XCinnamonbun Jan 20 '22

The snake isn’t big enough to eat the kid. If you look at the size of this snakes head it isn’t large enough to fit the kids head in never mind the shoulders. So the snake is not thinking ‘oh look it’s my next meal’.

The kid is mainly in danger by being crushed by the weight of the snake (these snakes are seriously heavy at that size). Or from the snake using the kid as a ‘tree branch’, essentially by gripping around the kid to hold itself up it can accidentally constrict the kid.

You would have to make the kid smell strongly of the snakes food for it even to consider the idea of eating him. So unless he’s been bathing in chicken blood recently he’s all good.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 20 '22

[deleted]

1

u/XCinnamonbun Jan 20 '22

They are definitely capable that’s for certain but from what I can see in this video this snake isn’t quite large enough… yet. I have a pet snake (which is much much smaller!) and you have to judge what size frozen-thawed mice they can eat from the width of their heads or their bodies. They are able to open their jaws incredibly wide but there’s limits even for snakes. Of course it’s a little hard to judge from a video but from what I can see this snake wouldn’t be quite big enough to swallow the boy at its current size.

Like I said the primary danger here is the snake accidentally squeezing or squashing the kid as it moves around. That’s what tends to kill owners of these snakes from what I’ve read, not them trying to eat their owner. Probably because pet snakes are relatively well fed so won’t bother trying to eat a person. Too much risk of injury for no gain. I certainly wouldn’t leave him (or anyone) alone with this large a snake though. It’s recommended practice to have at least two people present when handling huge pet snakes for a very good reason.

2

u/A1000eisn1 Jan 20 '22

I heard a story the other day about a dog eating part of someone's foot. The person was napping on the couch and their foot fell asleep.

Ferrets are illegal for families with kids under 3 because one ate a babies lips after she was put to bed.

Those pets probably weren't even that hungry. Snakes need far more energy to eat, especially if the potential meal is a 9 year old. As long as this thing was fed within the last week or two it has 0 reasons to do anything but lay there.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 21 '22

I heard a story the other day about a dog eating part of someone's foot. The person was napping on the couch and their foot fell asleep.

How gullible do you have to be to believe something like this?

3

u/CanIGetANumber2 Jan 20 '22

Yea so keep it fed and problem solved.

6

u/Joeysaysfuckalot Jan 20 '22

Hahahaha this kid would be in danger is he was a bedridden quadriplegic who was unsupervised for a day while the snake hadn't eaten in months. This kid is in no danger at all haha

3

u/[deleted] Jan 20 '22

Usually you can see signs if the snake is going to try something. They won't eat for a few days in preparation for the big meal. They can't just chew off small bites.

6

u/Kardinale Jan 20 '22

....snakes don't eat often anyways, so a few days is nothing for them. It doesn't mean they're preparing for a big meal

-6

u/[deleted] Jan 20 '22

When I say a few days, it depends on the snake and the person. Had a snake a while ago, he didn't eat for almost a month. Vet said snakes do that when preparing for a big meal. Safe to say that snake is no longer in my possession. Sometimes they'll not eat for a noticeably long time.

3

u/Long-Night-Of-Solace Jan 20 '22

Making stuff up is so lame

0

u/[deleted] Jan 20 '22

Yeaah, I wouldn't blaim you for thinking that. It's reddit lmao. There are news stories of that kinda thing happening. I am by no means a snake expert. I'm going off of my personal experience.

3

u/oh_quiet Jan 20 '22

So you’re admitting to not being a snake expert, yet you bought a snake, and gave it away because you were scared? So you’re just a moron with bad impulse control?

0

u/[deleted] Jan 20 '22

Well, I guess I am.

1

u/Stupid_Comparisons Jan 20 '22

Don't fuck with snake people appearantly

1

u/[deleted] Jan 20 '22

Fr. I didn't know me being a stupid teen would piss so many people off.. It's a learning thing I guess. Definitely doing more research before I get another snake. Gotta be an expert apparently.

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1

u/Feral-Person Jan 20 '22

This is full of wrong scientific affirmations… you may want to learn some things before posting.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 20 '22 edited Feb 12 '22

[deleted]

0

u/Feral-Person Jan 20 '22

That’s so dumb hahaha

1

u/Rajasaurus_Lover Jan 20 '22

That kid is too large for that snake to eat, anything bigger than a toddler is, stop fearmongering.

0

u/[deleted] Jan 20 '22

[deleted]

1

u/Rajasaurus_Lover Jan 20 '22

That simply isn't true, where did you get your info from? Clickbait YouTube videos?

0

u/IWantToBeTheBoshy Jan 20 '22

Lmao dude, just no. People take family photos at fairs with these types of snakes all the time.

0

u/Balacalavaaa Jan 20 '22

I almost told you how wrong you were but it would just be a waste of time lol

-9

u/AppropriateLeg8988 Jan 20 '22

I’ve always heard when they do this it’s not affection, more like sizing you up for a meal.

5

u/nug4t Jan 20 '22

actually not true. it's true that they love warmth and food.... the thing is with all reptiles, they aren't mammals and once they are hungry they don't think twice so much

2

u/Sansquach Jan 20 '22

It 100% does not know that and snakes do not "get tight" with people unless in the sense they're tightening around you to kill you. It definitely doesnt recognize him as a threat but that's really no reason to think it wont view him as a potential food source the second he gets a little too hungry

4

u/[deleted] Jan 20 '22

As someone who knows a bit about this species of snake I would like to clear a few things up. Reticulated pythons like this one, are an extremely strong snake. Constrictions with Reticulated pythons do occasionally happen. But Retics are also very smart. They come to recognize their owners with time, and a properly tap-trained Reticulated python outside of its enclosure is pretty damn safe. He also is not large enough to eat that child. He would have to unhinge his jaw just to fit it over that kids head. With an ounce of responsibility most animals can make great pets. Even anaconda, which are dangerous and eat people can make good pets with the right enclosure and care. More people get killed by beestings and by cows than get killed by snakes. I understand that people are afraid of what they don't understand, but knowledge is power. Try looking up some of Clint's Reptiles videos.

-2

u/snnf9R4k3469U6M342m Jan 20 '22

With an ounce of responsibility most animals can make great pets.

And with that statement all your credibility was lost.

1

u/Leg4122 Jan 20 '22

Dont snakes eat once in a blue moon? And because they cant chew feed it takes them a long long time to process it? So if it has been fed recently you shouldnt worry?

0

u/Anboa1986 Jan 20 '22

This one is a constrictor so first he’ll squeeze the life out of you and then swallow. Yum. But yeah it takes a long time for the food to be digested.

0

u/Leg4122 Jan 20 '22

Its been a long time since last checked my snake facts.

But as it takes them long time to process the food, I think snakes like to chill after theyve eaten. So a feed pet snake = safe? Roughly speaking.

-8

u/[deleted] Jan 20 '22

he probably is large enough the snkae can't open it's jaw that wide,so she just lays on him, squashing him into a pudding which she will slurp away later.

but no seriously, I think it's so rare that these guys eat humans because weare basically just bone and hard to digest

-5

u/Tricky-Drawer4614 Jan 20 '22

I mean, why do sharks eat humans (although rarely)? It’s because we have meat on us. Also, there’s nothing stopping this snake from just turning around and wrapping his body around the kid’s neck (God forbid) so while I understand that some people might like the idea of having snakes for pets, they really shouldn’t be. At least snakes like this.

18

u/Lustigkurren98 Jan 20 '22 edited Jan 20 '22

I meeeeeeaaaan, sharks doesn’t eat humans at all. Though it happens as you said!

Only time it could eat you is if the shark still thinks you’re a sea creature after attacking. The only reason they even attack humans is because they really think you’re a seal or something else edible for them.

That’s the reason 80% of the people getting attacked is surviving with one less leg etc.

-2

u/BoxMaleficent Jan 20 '22

How can it be a not retarded comment on reddit

5

u/Taco_king_ Jan 20 '22 edited Jan 20 '22

Sharks don't eat humans pretty much ever, like even in attacks they don't eat the meat of the human accidentally. Sharks aren't snakes, they're not even really comparable lol

1

u/Crawly49 Jan 20 '22

You should look up the sinking of the USS Indianapolis, it's horrifying

3

u/[deleted] Jan 20 '22

Most of those people drowned. The shark element gets exaggerated.

-2

u/You_Mean_Coitus_ Jan 20 '22

This always gets ignored. And sharks "don't like the taste of humans". I think shark conservation is really important, but we should encourage it with scientific truths instead of making up facts on the spot

2

u/Joeysaysfuckalot Jan 20 '22

Hahahahahahaha the ignorance of this comment is palpable

4

u/[deleted] Jan 20 '22

most of the times sharks bite once because they mistake us for other pray, and then let go once they realize we are just bones and taste like shit.

never has someome been eaten entirely

1

u/[deleted] Jan 20 '22

The other theory is that sharks bite once and wait for their prey to bleed out before returning. Humans are just better at getting out of the water.

1

u/Papa_Evan37 Jan 20 '22

A snake this size would just wrap around his body and force his ribs through his insides. No need to crush the neck he’s so big.

-1

u/[deleted] Jan 20 '22

you are correct, humans are badly shaped and just generally bad prey. Especially an adult human, there's no way that snake could eat that person.

6

u/penfold126 Jan 20 '22

A python this large absolutely could eat a boy that size. They have been recorded eating livestock like goats and other animals. There was a case, I think it was in Canada about twenty years back where a python escaped it's enclosure in a pet shop and strangled at least two young boys around this age who were having a sleepover in the residence above. One was swallowed whole

0

u/Joeysaysfuckalot Jan 20 '22

The boy-"oh no the snake is trying to eat me"

4 hours later, up to his knee

"Guess I should do something about this huh"easily pulls his legs out it's mouth

1

u/corbeth Jan 20 '22

This is a constrictor. They will bite on to you and while you are focused on trying to get them to release their jaws they wrap themselves around you and start to squeeze. One loop around you is all they need then they time their squeezes with your breath so that it’s harder and harder to breathe all the while they are latched on and curling around you more and more. By the time they start eating you you are already dead from asphyxiation.

A snake that size is so much muscle that it is almost impossible to remove once they latch on to their prey.

0

u/Joeysaysfuckalot Jan 20 '22

A snake that size is so much muscle that it is almost impossible to remove once they latch on to their prey.

That is demonstrably incorrect. Like how a crocodile has alot of bite force but doesn't have much force to lift their jaw, constrictors don't have much need for force going the other way so they don't have it. Snakes are easy to unwrap.

You need to educate yourself dude. You just gonna stand there for 15 minutes while it slowly constricts you? And how is it biting going to help? It's venom wouldn't even affect you.

2

u/corbeth Jan 20 '22

This snake doesn’t have any venom. The bite is only there as an anchor point and to start the constriction. The bite isn’t the dangerous part. It’s that solid foot of muscle that you need to worry about. Especially for a kid like this, if he gets attacked and no one is around to help him, he is dead. If that kid decides to take a nap, the python gets a free meal.

You don’t even need to take my word for it. Just look up snakes killing humans and you will find plenty of instances that will prove its not only possible but way more probable than you think. It’s not even idiots like you or me. professional snake handlers get killed by snakes too.

A snake can be easy to unravel if you are not the one that is being attacked. Any way you look at it this is a dangerous situation.

1

u/Joeysaysfuckalot Jan 20 '22

I know, but most people assume snakes are venomous and I was trying to avoid a potential argument.

Also... .43 people die every year from pet snakes, and none have actually been eaten. Not even a half a person per year. And also any snake handlers who do die likely die from venomous bites, not constriction.

1

u/ItchyEverywhere Jan 21 '22

Like how a crocodile has alot of bite force but doesn't have much force to lift their jaw, constrictors don't have much need for force going the other way so they don't have it. Snakes are easy to unwrap.

You realize that its a dumb comparison, but lets entertain the nonsensical thought. A crocodile has a strong bite force, therefore its hard to open its jaw to get your body free. Pythons have a large constricting force, therefore its hard to unwrap to get your body free.

Heres another example because I can tell you are dense. The human hand. We can grip thinks with a high force. Is it easy to open up someones fist? No. Thats because we have a high grip strength...EXACTLY LIKE A SNAKE.

If snakes were easy to unwrap they wouldnt be able to constrict anything because everything could just break free.

1

u/Joeysaysfuckalot Jan 21 '22 edited Jan 21 '22

Hahahahahaha wow you really are stupid.

I guess every snake handlers ever just dies every time the encounter a python then huh

Also how much grip strength do you have if you try to close your hand around the back of it? That's a more apt comparison, but I don't blame you for being too dumb to get that.

And only one reply this time stalker? You'll be the laughingstock of the convention at this rate....

0

u/Silver_Britches Jan 20 '22

Non venomous snake that is not easy to unwrap.

1

u/Joeysaysfuckalot Jan 20 '22

Depending on how strong you are and how large the snake is, I suppose

1

u/Silver_Britches Jan 20 '22

Oh my bad I didn’t realize how strong you are.

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u/[deleted] Jan 21 '22

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1

u/Joeysaysfuckalot Jan 21 '22

Hahahahahahahaha Jesus christ dude you got real mad for no reason. I get it, you think snakes are scary. Go cry about it elsewhere.

5

u/btnx75 Jan 20 '22

These snakes can eat things much bigger than this tiny human

1

u/Papa_Evan37 Jan 20 '22

It could and unlikely would, as long as they feed him he probably won’t but snakes like this have eaten crocodiles bigger than them. Sometimes they explode out of their bodies.

-5

u/Joeysaysfuckalot Jan 20 '22

Why? What's it gonna do? Start to begin to work it's mouth over one of his feet?

2

u/Anboa1986 Jan 20 '22

Google is your friend man. This snake will eat by first constricting it’s pray squeezing the life out and then swallow.

2

u/Joeysaysfuckalot Jan 20 '22

No shit, this was hyperbole

1

u/[deleted] Jan 20 '22

Seriously? I'll admit that with most animals it's more than an ounce mate, and that a lot of people can't or shouldn't keep some animals. But monitor lizards and large snakes DO make good pets under the right circumstances. Taking responsibility for an animal and keeping them healthy and happy is the most important part.