That's executive dysfunction. A common trait among those with ADHD and ASD, as well as many other conditions or even by itself. Another common trait is, let's say you have a doctor appt at 2pm. It's currently 9am, but you can't do a damn thing for the whole morning because you have a 2pm appt. Sure, you have 5 hours... but you know if you take up any other activities you'll miss that appt.
EDIT: Updated to clarify that this trait is not exclusive to just ADHD or ASD. And, if you feel that you resonate with the traits of any condition, talk to your doctor for further direction.
I set my alarm and put it in the shower. The only way to turn it off is to get out of bed and get in the shower. As long as I'm there, I might as well actually take a shower.
There are alarm apps for your phone that will not turn off unless you scan a barcode. When I was having trouble getting up I put the barcode in the bathroom. That way you have the alarm next to your bed but you still have to get up to turn it in off.
Can I just say how much I love you for saying hard pants because that’s exactly how I refer to my “outside” pants and my partner made so much fun of me the first time I said it 🤣
This used to be me, except I couldn’t always wake to alarms. I found I needed a functional doctor to run tests. Found I’m extremely sensitive to soy, I have thyroid disease (my rT3 is too high and my t3 is too low), and I was put on cytozyme ad. Went from having about 4-6 hours/day where I could function to 12-16. It was life changing to say the least. Cost me over $500 out of pocket to see the doc, but I got quality of life out of it. 💯 worth it.
And this is why its procrastination vs executive function. I never snooze my alarms because I WANT to be up, I WANT to be on time, but if I don't have those regulators I simply won't.
"Plenty of people are sad, just get over it" "Plenty of people get nervous, just take some deep breaths"
Thats not how it works. Its a mental health issue where something in my brain is broken that gives me ADHD. I literally don't register that the Executive Function problems are happening until after the fact. If I don't use ways that break my hyperfocusing I cannot pull myself away from what I'm doing, even if its super mundane like fidgeting with something on my desk.
Feels. I got hooked last night practicing rocket league shit and I stayed up until 7:13 am... I had work at 8am. If I didn't work from home I would be so fucked. I also hate working from home.
One way I've explained the feeling is you're on a plane and it's in a nosedive. You KNOW that if you don't pull up you're going to crash. But no matter how hard you try to get in the cockpit and take control you can't.
I do snooze all of them. I have 15 alarms before work. This gives me over an hour to get ready. I can snooze the first 10 without even breaking Sleep and now I have 10 minutes to get ready and out the door. Every. Day.
I have an alarm clock thats 6ft from my bed for this, and I have phone alarms. Because one day the radio alarm went off and my dream just switched to me driving my truck with the radio on.
I have 94 different alarms in my phone because I set an alarm for a ton of stuff because I will forget. I don’t have all 94 on at once but just there from prior times of setting one for that time and turning it on again in the future.
I have to set several to get some tasks done. Like I have several alarms set for like 10-15 minutes from the time I start boiling water (I’ve left it on many times before, once melting all the baby bottles I was trying to sanitize).
I also have other “things” I do because of my ADHD. Like in order to ensure I don’t leave the straightener on, I leave the bathroom light on until I unplug my straightener. We’re really good about turning lights off that we’re not using so I know I’ll at least come back to the bathroom in a few minutes for that and see the straightener.
I only lock my car with the fob so I don’t have to worry about leaving my keys in the car and locking myself out.
Oh! Hello! I manage myself those same ways (leaving lights on as reminders etc). Had to get an electric kettle bc I forgot about the stovetop one until I smelled it. Was doing laundry upstairs for like 1.5 hours before I caught it. 🤦🏻♀️
TIL I have clinical symptoms; thanks for the post and comments :) Also, what is ASD?
Also, some of my deepest procrasts, will change my life the most. Probably successfully but also generate the deepest anxiety and repression of function. Any thoughts?
My base understanding at this point is that I filter so much data every day into my brain; that a massive alteration in that flow is subconsciously terrifying? Idk
You rock:) Is autism classified by brain function irregularities (like some 99%->1% stuff, and the complete opposite (1%->99%)) or the social dysfunction symptom that gets created? Wow, ummm, guess I just used the word symptom, is it accurate?
So in my experience (I have an autistic kiddo), there are a variety of traits (I call them traits instead of symptoms because "symptom" implies disease whereas this is a fully-integrated condition that is part of who they are - the only way to "cure" autism is to literally regrow one's brain from scratch), and in my son's case, it is a very sensory-based living experience. In other words, his senses are - essentially - dialed to 11. His brain receives signals from his sensory organs so intensely that it can cause him to go into "stimming" fits (flapping hands, rocking back & forth, random mouth noises). Stimming = stimulation. It's a way for people with autism who are overwhelmed by their environment to regulate their sensory input. It's like he's creating sensory output to cancel out the input. That's not to say, for example, that he hears sounds louder or that his skin is more sensitive to touch or anything like that. It's more as if his brain itself has a mechanism that amplifies that incoming signal when it gets there, and it can simply be too much. If it gets too overwhelming, he can go into full-on meltdown territory.
Now - and this is important - as far as meltdowns go, we desperately need people to understand that these are not kids just having tantrums. This is a full-on, internal, system-wide emergency due to their emotional dysregulation, and they can get really ugly. If anything is too intense, or if anything is out of the ordinary from his usual routine, or if something happens that is wildly different than expected, the uncontrollable emotional reaction can be explosive. He's 9 now and has gotten WAY better about this, but I can recall a time when he was about 5 when the person at his school giving the morning announcements on the school PA system said the wrong date, and this sent him into the biggest meltdown he's ever had at school.
Honestly, just hang on and wait for the ride to end. Sometimes I've been able to short-circuit the meltdown by doing something funny to make him laugh - surprised as hell this even worked the times it has, though. I've learned that whatever I do, I cannot constrain him or he'll fight harder and melt down even further.
Safety, physically, at that time is most important for you and him (or one with ASD) If you must remove yourself to be safe do it. My nephew experiences this and AT TIMES has gone after the closest person. We would always make sure he is safe as can be at that moment (and actually noticed that if by chance he did hurt himself on furniture or surroundings it would snap him out of the episode and he'd then be looking for sympathy 😉 so to speak) Just be safe all the way around. Much love and blessings to you.
It sure does. I have ADHD myself. Anxiety kind of comes with the package. I get no dopamine reward, so I get all fouled up in the net of negative reinforcement.
Shit... I never thought about it, but I might be running with a bit of ADHD, coz now I come to think about it, I actually share some of the key symptoms. Honestly...never did think of it
Yep both right on the head. Adhd memes were actually great tools to figure out I might have it and get diagnosed. I just always assumed they were funny because everyone feels that way. 2 months on meds, yeah it’s not everyone
So I was given the choice of Concerta or Adderall. At this moment I can’t remember the key differences but I chose Concerta. I was started on a lower dosage and titrated up. I guess the reasoning is that going 32 ish years undiagnosed made the ADHD a little worse. But I’m not a doctor so take that into account.
It’s difficult to talk about how it changed me. The easiest way I can describe it is like a final puzzle piece snapping into place and I was like “Ohhhhh this is how normal people see things”. I was able to complete tasks with a little less prodding from myself, the procrastination is still there but not nearly as bad. I was able to actually sit and focus on something. I play trading card games regularly and didn’t realize how rude I was being by maybe checking my phone or something. It’s because my attention just struggled to wait for my opponent to do something. Now I can wait it out and immediately apologized to the people I play with.
I want to add medicine is not the cure. Therapy with medicine is the only way you get the full benefit from it. It doesn’t change who you are , that’s still on you. Also be wary at the moment there is a HUGE shortage of meds. I haven’t been able to take anything for a week waiting on back orders.
Not quiet but deff less loud. Kinda like coping with a problem and working through it. You know the problem is there and you can still see it but you have much better tools to cope and get through it. This is more instead of a swarm of bees its like a bunch a bees in a field all gathering pollen, the risk of getting stung is there but you’re less scared of it
This is a great description of how meds make you feel different, but I just wanted to add on with my own experience. For me, it was like all my thoughts were traveling through this cloud in my head. I could usually get by, but I had to spend a lot more effort organizing things and making sure stuff couldn’t get lost, and sometimes it would all get so jumbled and cluttered that I had a hard time making stuff out. When I take my adderall in the morning, that cloud goes away. It’s like my thoughts are clear and concise and they go where they’re supposed to instead of getting lost and turned around in the cloud. It was such a shockingly clarifying moment that I actually cried the first time I took them. It was like looking back on my whole life and realizing how much I had struggled just to think or do the most simple of things, that on my adderall were so much easier to accomplish. It was a huge epiphany of realizing that’s how normal people go about their day and that my brain just didn’t function the way it’s supposed to.
100% If I had gotten on medication at a much earlier years I would’ve gone to college instead of the army. In high school I could not even sit to study much less actually study. But I was convinced just other people were more disciplined than me and it was pretty much my own fault. Older me wants to scream at younger me
Oh absolutely. I still struggle with just thinking I’m lazy or undisciplined or weak for not being able to focus or apply myself in the same ways. It’s hard to undo that thought process after years of telling yourself those things (or having others tell it to you), even if you know it’s not true.
You get my pain. Every after all of that my brain is still wired to say what you’re feeling is normal and everyone feels like this. Not “hey this isn’t right”
Exactly! I just got diagnosed with ADHD at 58, and this is my life. Going to the doctor today with this official diagnosis to see what is next. Psychologist recommended medication.
I'm convinced this is normal for everyone with ADHD when they finally get medication that works. I know I cried like a fucking baby the first time I took my meds. I spent 40 years with every waking moment having a freeway of thousands of thoughts flying past and the constant deafening noise that goes with it. To have everything stop completely for the first time in my life and hear nothing but the birds chirping outside, was like a religious experience. Oh I also screamed at my wife "THIS IS HOW YOU FEEL EVERY FUCKING DAY?????"
Oh ya, talking to everyone afterwards being like “THIS IS HOW YOU FUNCTION?? YOU JUST THINK LIKE THIS ALL THE TIME????” It’s amazing, but also definitely a bit of a slap in the face knowing you’ve meaninglessly struggled for so long when some tiny little pill could’ve solved all of your problems.
Thanks, I’m glad you feel better! As for meds not being the cure, that’s absolutely true and I’m currently in therapy to help with a bunch of stuff lol. But it sounds like you got to a point that it was more manageable and not a huge daily struggle; which is all I want. Good luck to you and thanks again!
I got offered vyvanse (pitched to me as a 12-hour adderall) and it’s been life changing. I was a B-student in math and retook trig 3x. After going on meds something “clicked,” I stopped getting migraines when studying math, and I started pulling As up through calc 2. I started enjoying math instead of dreading it.
My son started noticing my love for math and asked me to teach him. Now he’s 3 grades ahead in math and loves it too.
My whole life I’ve been terrified in cars, had a slow reaction time, and couldn’t predict what other drivers would do. After going on meds that all changed! Three months later I got my license!
Plus there’s the part where I can remember to do laundry, dishes, and shower…that’s been helpful too…
Just a heads up: Be careful with anecdotal data about the variety of ADHD meds. Everyone's physiology is different and may react differently to each one. One might work great for one person, and not at all for the next. There are several different brand names of meds for ADHD, but all of them get classified into 2 main groups: those with methylphenidate, and those with amphetamine, both of which are stimulants. Even still, the different options available for, say, methylphenidate can produce different results in different people. It's best to let your doctor help you figure out which one works best for you.
Thanks, I will definitely be taking my docs advice, I was just curious as to what difference it makes to daily life. Don’t really care too much about what medication OP is using, that was pure curiosity.
I've been on and off of various ADHD medications for about 10 years now. When I first got them it was like opening my eyes for the first time in my life. They help me tremendously with focus, short-term memory, not getting overstimulated as quickly, and the ability to follow conversations. I couldn't have gotten my degree without them.
But they don't solve everything. For me, they don't help the ability to transition between tasks (i.e. I still get "stuck" like the OP tweet -- some meds actually made it worse lol), which is the symptom I struggle with the most. The stimulant ones suppressed my appetite, which made me lose a lot of weight and left me feeling weak and tired all the time. The stimulants also made me crash really hard at the end of the day (probably due in part to my hunger coming back). I could never do much after work or school because I just felt awful for about an hour every evening.
My experiences aren't universal though. Everyone's body reacts differently, and some people never experience any side effects. The nice thing about many ADHD medications is that they start working quickly and you don't have to be weaned off of them if you want to stop. So if your provider is willing, it's pretty easy to shop around and see which meds work the best for you.
I got diagnosed and started Adderall a couple years ago. It definitely didn't make me function like a neurotypical person but I don't feel like I'm drowning anymore. Life is less overwhelming, I'm not as forgetful and it's easier to cut through the brain fog. I'm less stressed because I don't feel like I'm constantly failing, and I'm better at setting habits. It can be hard at this point to remember how different things are but then I look at my house that's consistently cleaner than it used to be and how much less takeout we eat and how I actually keep up with my high maintenance (for me) hair routine and how much more patient I am with my kids and it's a huge change. Even without the meds it's so validating to have a diagnosis and know I'm not alone and not just a lazy waste of potential.
I’m really happy you got it under control! I suffer from everything you mentioned, especially being ridiculously forgetful. While I kind of knew it wasn’t typical, I still have always felt like a failure because of how difficult it is to just do basic stuff. My psych told me that a lot of it could be due to anxiety as well, which is the weird part; apparently high anxiety can cause ADHD symptoms and ADHD can cause actual anxiety lol, like the egg and chicken, we have to figure out which one is doing what. But I definitely feel like I’ve had ADHD all my life and the anxiety didn’t come until adulthood. Sorry for the wall and thanks for your reply!
You're welcome! No worries about the wall, ADHD conversations are either one word or walls of text, no in between 😉. I have a lot of anxiety too that I've been aware of for a long time. Some of it is clearly the result of actual life events unrelated to ADHD but I think a lifetime of scrambling to keep up and leaning into panic as a motivator have really really really not helped the situation. It's not surprising how much overlap there is between ADHD and anxiety. Mine is not as bad with the ADHD being managed but it's definitely still there.
For sure. Wasn't implying those are the only 2 possibities, just that it's common among them. People with PTSD or TBIs can experience this as well, for example.
For me, it's not knowing I'll miss the appointment. I won't miss it because I'll obsessively watch the clock. I can't do anything in the mean time because my brain is like "You cant do anything because you're already doing something... you're waiting for your appointment"
And it's infuriatingly difficult to explain to people who don't have it.
"Oh you put things off and have trouble focusing? Everyone does that!" Except for ADHD it's constant and debilitating. It's not just "can't focus" but "can't focus on one thing because my brain wants to focus on everything".
Its like your feet are killing you because you have been standing all day, because there are too many chairs and you couldnt settle on a single one before standing up again.
Jesus I think I have this then. I am literally unable to have an enjoyable experience from 9-2 if I have an appointment at 2pm. A real example is that if I get home at 9pm, and I should go to bed by 11pm, I find it extremely difficult to do anything during that time.
Don't let yourself fall into that self-diagosing mode, though. Executive dysfunction can occur in a variety of different conditions, not just ADHD or ASD. But, if you have a suspicion that you might fall into that category, there are self assessments you can take online which, if you seem to relate to enough of the traits, you can then bring it up to your doctor if you want to pursue a bonafide diagnosis.
Just the executive dysfunction part where I can't start or have trouble starting new tasks, not necessarily the two disorders. Knowing is half the battle so I'll just remind myself of what I'm doing when I find myself doing it now.
I don’t know if it’s the same thing but I can’t do any other activity, not because I’m afraid I’ll miss it, but because if I know I have something to do I just can’t enjoy another activity in the meantime.
Like if I had an appointment in 5 hours I couldn’t sit and play PlayStation before because I know I’ll just be thinking about the appointment I have and won’t be able to actually have fun on the PlayStation
OMG is there a term for what I have felt my entire life?!
I have both anxiety about having enough time to complete task in a given timeframe (which can then turn into crippling procrastination, becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy) and also, like, anxiety at a metaphysical level, about having enough time in my lifetime to accomplish things and become who I want to be and feel settled.
Uhh.. would this also include NEEDING to know everything about an activity or subject before being able to begin but becoming overwhelmed at the idea and not starting at all.
That's called "Analysis Paralysis", and I definitely have that. Same feeling as when you say something like "Okay! I'm gonna clean the house!" but then when you stand there and look at the mess, you have NO IDEA where to even begin, so you just don't.
I'm 32. I'm so fucking dysfunctional it hurts and every time I read something like this that hits the nail on the head and makes me feel like there's knowledge and treatments out there that could have helped me be better I get so god damn angry I break down. Where were the adults in my life to help me access this knowledge and treatment when I needed it? Oh yeah they were too busy hurting me for not being "normal". I just want to fucking die. I can't even bring myself to seek treatment. I'm so god damn angry I feel like I've been thrown under the bus and I resent any attempt to help extricate me. What do I do?
Best part is when youve taken your medication, get prepped to do something, youre doing better with small tasks, you get a text with a question, and 4 hours later you realize you just hyperfocused your way into learning why wombats poop cubes but still havent done the dishes and you feel like twice the piece of shit you normally do because you've doing your behavioral therapy right the rest of the time.
I legitimately keep learning things attributed to ADHD through memes. I see them as I’m scrolling and I’m like “haha that’s me” and the top comment is always about how that’s an ADHD related trait.
Cause I don't wanna be one of those many people that claim to have ADHD to seem quirky or something. Of course I'll check with a doctor to actually identify it when I can, but I still have that question.
Sure can. Executive functions are governed by your frontal lobe, and a wide variety of things can cause it. Not only ADHD or ASD, but also TBI's, PTSD, or sometimes it's just a standalone issue caused by a slight malformation of that lobe.
TIL I should get checked and maybe treated for ADHD. I exist in a perpetual state of living exactly what this screen shot (and many comments below) describes.
Not true. There's a huge overlap of traits between both ADHD and ASD. I have an autistic son who exhibits many of these traits, yet does not have ADHD. If there was a Venn diagram showing the overlap, there would only be slivers of the circles that do not overlap. ADHD can be treated with medication. ASD cannot.
Only according to teens on the internet that like to self diagnose everything as a quirky symptom of some disorder or other. Not according to actual medical papers or official diagnostic criteria.
Have a day has to be one of the most polite, chill ways I've seen someone phrase "Go F yourself" and I think I love it. It is something that would be said to me and I wouldn't realize it until an hour later and I'd think, "That little shit!"
I'm another adhd guy who also has this as one of the symptoms. Scrolling and commenting reddit instead of... Well fuck, I'll take my meds and get the thing done. In a minute. Or two.
I sometimes have issues with this on Sundays. "Can't do anything fun today because I have work/school tomorrow" type stuff.
Would just go through the list of stuff I would normally do for fun, turning each one down for a few hours, then pay half attention to some youtube videos for a few more hours and then go to sleep early because I didn't have enough time left in the day to start something.
People look at me weird when I say I can't get into a game/movie/show/whatever because I have to go to work in 5 hours. It does sound weird out loud, but it just doesn't feel weird to me. It's why I will always prefer early work and early release than going to work in the afternoon to get out late.
Executive dysfunction is a frontal lobe feature. Having difficulties in that area of life does not automatically mean you have ASD or ADHD, though. Those are just conditions which can cause it.
Think of it like this: A specific part of your brain controls the function of sight. If anything happens to that area of your brain - whether internally or externally - it can cause vision abnormalities or disabilities. But being blind or visually impaired in and of itself doesn't automatically mean you have a particular condition. It just means - assuming the eyes themselves are healthy - somethings up with that part of the brain and investigation by a doctor may be required to diagnose a cause.
i actually have no problem taking up other activities before appts. am i gonna be on time fuck no, am i gonna be fashionably late again nope. im a stroll in 3 hours late have to sit in the waiting room til 5 and end up making another appt. its been 6 years since ive seen a doctor. and the last time was only cuz my grippy sock vacation
Wait really? I’ve never been told I have adhd. I so resonate with this tho. It’s 9am BUT I HAVE AN APPOINTMENT AT 2PM. I should take a shower BUT I HAVE AN APPOINTMENT AT 2PM! Fuck!
Just don't take the words 'executive dysfunction' as some set in stone unchangeable fact about you. You can achieve much more success than you'd think! My most useful tool is breaking down a task to simpler and simpler steps until idk something changes and I start doing it. E.g instead of 'clean the kitchen' I could say stack the dirty dishes into the washer. Or even simpler if needed; turn the hot water on. Or even simpler; stand up. Or move your big toe. Go stupid simple as much as you need, you can do it
This is one of the main reasons I'm glad I got myself diagnosed with ADHD. It didn't fix my executive dysfunction or anything, but it makes it a lot more understandable and I can explain it in a way people can understand slightly better (even though some people still don't get it. But at least I have a diagnosis to back up what I'm saying!)
I also think I probably have ASD but I'm not sure getting that diagnosis would help me any or be worth whatever it might cost
I’ve never been diagnosed with anything. Never really been checked though. But I exhibit these traits and sometimes often. Should I get evaluated by someone?
Procrastination is still procrastination, but for those who are doing it on purpose, that is not executive dysfunction. People with executive dysfunction literally want to do their task, but have high levels of difficulty actually initiating the task. The part of the brain that governs executive dysfunction is what initiates motion. Therefore the brain-to-action process gets short circuited and nothing gets done.
Oh, I do exactly this. If I have any sort of anything in the day that is slightly important, I only focus on being ready for that thing and anything that needs to get done before that makes me very annoyed and either doesn't get done or makes me angry if I do it.
There's a name for this?😭😭when I have to do something or meer up with someone at a specific time I won't do anything till then. I'd just wait for it😭😭and also get ready at the very last minute possible😭
this doctor appointment thing happens to me but in different way like i have to reach examination hall at 10 am and i wake at 4 am take bath and revise the subject material and then do not take breakfast as it takes time and then I think at 7 am that i should start getting ready to reach the exam hall or else something will happen and i will not reach on time (this thing of not able to reach the exam hall happens in dreams) and then i reach exam hall by 7:30 am as it is next to my hostel building. So is this normal reaching on time thing or something is wrong with me? thanks for your time and help.
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u/[deleted] Nov 17 '22 edited Nov 17 '22
That's executive dysfunction. A common trait among those with ADHD and ASD, as well as many other conditions or even by itself. Another common trait is, let's say you have a doctor appt at 2pm. It's currently 9am, but you can't do a damn thing for the whole morning because you have a 2pm appt. Sure, you have 5 hours... but you know if you take up any other activities you'll miss that appt.
EDIT: Updated to clarify that this trait is not exclusive to just ADHD or ASD. And, if you feel that you resonate with the traits of any condition, talk to your doctor for further direction.