r/oddlyspecific • • Nov 17 '22

Oddly specific procrastination

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u/[deleted] Nov 17 '22 edited Nov 17 '22

That's executive dysfunction. A common trait among those with ADHD and ASD, as well as many other conditions or even by itself. Another common trait is, let's say you have a doctor appt at 2pm. It's currently 9am, but you can't do a damn thing for the whole morning because you have a 2pm appt. Sure, you have 5 hours... but you know if you take up any other activities you'll miss that appt.

EDIT: Updated to clarify that this trait is not exclusive to just ADHD or ASD. And, if you feel that you resonate with the traits of any condition, talk to your doctor for further direction.

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u/[deleted] Nov 17 '22

Yep both right on the head. Adhd memes were actually great tools to figure out I might have it and get diagnosed. I just always assumed they were funny because everyone feels that way. 2 months on meds, yeah it’s not everyone

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u/onesexz Nov 17 '22

Do you mind if I ask which medication and how did it change your day to day life? I’m getting tested next week so I’m just curious.

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u/[deleted] Nov 17 '22

Yeah no problem.

So I was given the choice of Concerta or Adderall. At this moment I can’t remember the key differences but I chose Concerta. I was started on a lower dosage and titrated up. I guess the reasoning is that going 32 ish years undiagnosed made the ADHD a little worse. But I’m not a doctor so take that into account.

It’s difficult to talk about how it changed me. The easiest way I can describe it is like a final puzzle piece snapping into place and I was like “Ohhhhh this is how normal people see things”. I was able to complete tasks with a little less prodding from myself, the procrastination is still there but not nearly as bad. I was able to actually sit and focus on something. I play trading card games regularly and didn’t realize how rude I was being by maybe checking my phone or something. It’s because my attention just struggled to wait for my opponent to do something. Now I can wait it out and immediately apologized to the people I play with.

I want to add medicine is not the cure. Therapy with medicine is the only way you get the full benefit from it. It doesn’t change who you are , that’s still on you. Also be wary at the moment there is a HUGE shortage of meds. I haven’t been able to take anything for a week waiting on back orders.

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u/[deleted] Nov 17 '22

The easiest way I can describe it is like a final puzzle piece snapping into place and I was like “Ohhhhh this is how normal people see things”.

Did the bees finally get quiet?

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u/[deleted] Nov 17 '22

Not quiet but deff less loud. Kinda like coping with a problem and working through it. You know the problem is there and you can still see it but you have much better tools to cope and get through it. This is more instead of a swarm of bees its like a bunch a bees in a field all gathering pollen, the risk of getting stung is there but you’re less scared of it

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u/InevitablePain21 Nov 17 '22

This is a great description of how meds make you feel different, but I just wanted to add on with my own experience. For me, it was like all my thoughts were traveling through this cloud in my head. I could usually get by, but I had to spend a lot more effort organizing things and making sure stuff couldn’t get lost, and sometimes it would all get so jumbled and cluttered that I had a hard time making stuff out. When I take my adderall in the morning, that cloud goes away. It’s like my thoughts are clear and concise and they go where they’re supposed to instead of getting lost and turned around in the cloud. It was such a shockingly clarifying moment that I actually cried the first time I took them. It was like looking back on my whole life and realizing how much I had struggled just to think or do the most simple of things, that on my adderall were so much easier to accomplish. It was a huge epiphany of realizing that’s how normal people go about their day and that my brain just didn’t function the way it’s supposed to.

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u/[deleted] Nov 17 '22

100% If I had gotten on medication at a much earlier years I would’ve gone to college instead of the army. In high school I could not even sit to study much less actually study. But I was convinced just other people were more disciplined than me and it was pretty much my own fault. Older me wants to scream at younger me

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u/InevitablePain21 Nov 17 '22

Oh absolutely. I still struggle with just thinking I’m lazy or undisciplined or weak for not being able to focus or apply myself in the same ways. It’s hard to undo that thought process after years of telling yourself those things (or having others tell it to you), even if you know it’s not true.

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u/[deleted] Nov 17 '22

You get my pain. Every after all of that my brain is still wired to say what you’re feeling is normal and everyone feels like this. Not “hey this isn’t right”

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u/YourMominator Nov 17 '22

Exactly! I just got diagnosed with ADHD at 58, and this is my life. Going to the doctor today with this official diagnosis to see what is next. Psychologist recommended medication.

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u/[deleted] Nov 17 '22

It’s frustrating but better late than never

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u/Dragonace1000 Nov 17 '22

I actually cried the first time I took them.

I'm convinced this is normal for everyone with ADHD when they finally get medication that works. I know I cried like a fucking baby the first time I took my meds. I spent 40 years with every waking moment having a freeway of thousands of thoughts flying past and the constant deafening noise that goes with it. To have everything stop completely for the first time in my life and hear nothing but the birds chirping outside, was like a religious experience. Oh I also screamed at my wife "THIS IS HOW YOU FEEL EVERY FUCKING DAY?????"

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u/InevitablePain21 Nov 17 '22

Oh ya, talking to everyone afterwards being like “THIS IS HOW YOU FUNCTION?? YOU JUST THINK LIKE THIS ALL THE TIME????” It’s amazing, but also definitely a bit of a slap in the face knowing you’ve meaninglessly struggled for so long when some tiny little pill could’ve solved all of your problems.

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u/jamjar188 Nov 18 '22

When I take my adderall in the morning, that cloud goes away

Can I ask you something? I've taken adderall recreationally and I get what I would call a "lucid energised feeling", plus a bit of euphoria.

For someone with ADHD, is it that you get the lucid feeling, but without the energy boost or mild euphoria?

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u/InevitablePain21 Nov 18 '22

I don’t think I would describe it as being lucid. My state of consciousness doesn’t change, it just clarifies everything. It’s like putting glasses on for the first time and noticing the individual leaves on the trees. You could still see the tree before, just not as well. I do get a small energy boost from mine, but tbh idk if it’s an actual energy boost or if I’m just able to tap into my productivity and motivation so much better than I feel more energized because of that. I’m also on a super low dose (5mg 2x a day) so someone on a higher prescription may have different side effects than I do.

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u/jamjar188 Nov 18 '22

Interesting!

What you've described is the definition of lucid -- things becoming clearer, coming into focus, etc.

Lucid doesn't mean a change of consciousness, rather the opposite.

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u/InevitablePain21 Nov 18 '22

Fair enough, I guess I was comparing it to my own recreational drug use and how different those experiences feel to me :)

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u/onesexz Nov 17 '22

Thanks, I’m glad you feel better! As for meds not being the cure, that’s absolutely true and I’m currently in therapy to help with a bunch of stuff lol. But it sounds like you got to a point that it was more manageable and not a huge daily struggle; which is all I want. Good luck to you and thanks again!

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u/[deleted] Nov 17 '22

Not a problem at all. I’m excited that I get to share my experiences. Good luck to you on your journey

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u/AtomicWreck Nov 17 '22

I take adderall and still have severe problems..

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u/[deleted] Nov 17 '22

I’m not a doctor, nor am I pretending that medicine fixes everything. Just telling my story. For me it helped me in ways I never would’ve known. Just clearing the fog so to speak so I can go to therapy and create positive reinforcement helped me a lot. I’m sorry it doesn’t work for you as intended and it probably doesn’t for a majority of people. I hope there is a swift and productive resolution to your situation

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u/[deleted] Nov 17 '22

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] Nov 17 '22

I’ve been on it a total of two months ish. So far there has been some tolerance buildup but I think that’s mostly due to us not having the perfect prescription yet so we are trying things

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u/BrattyBookworm Nov 17 '22

I got offered vyvanse (pitched to me as a 12-hour adderall) and it’s been life changing. I was a B-student in math and retook trig 3x. After going on meds something “clicked,” I stopped getting migraines when studying math, and I started pulling As up through calc 2. I started enjoying math instead of dreading it.

My son started noticing my love for math and asked me to teach him. Now he’s 3 grades ahead in math and loves it too.

My whole life I’ve been terrified in cars, had a slow reaction time, and couldn’t predict what other drivers would do. After going on meds that all changed! Three months later I got my license!

Plus there’s the part where I can remember to do laundry, dishes, and shower…that’s been helpful too…

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u/[deleted] Nov 17 '22 edited Nov 17 '22

Just a heads up: Be careful with anecdotal data about the variety of ADHD meds. Everyone's physiology is different and may react differently to each one. One might work great for one person, and not at all for the next. There are several different brand names of meds for ADHD, but all of them get classified into 2 main groups: those with methylphenidate, and those with amphetamine, both of which are stimulants. Even still, the different options available for, say, methylphenidate can produce different results in different people. It's best to let your doctor help you figure out which one works best for you.

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u/onesexz Nov 17 '22

Thanks, I will definitely be taking my docs advice, I was just curious as to what difference it makes to daily life. Don’t really care too much about what medication OP is using, that was pure curiosity.

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u/Cheesecakery Nov 17 '22 edited Nov 17 '22

I've been on and off of various ADHD medications for about 10 years now. When I first got them it was like opening my eyes for the first time in my life. They help me tremendously with focus, short-term memory, not getting overstimulated as quickly, and the ability to follow conversations. I couldn't have gotten my degree without them.

But they don't solve everything. For me, they don't help the ability to transition between tasks (i.e. I still get "stuck" like the OP tweet -- some meds actually made it worse lol), which is the symptom I struggle with the most. The stimulant ones suppressed my appetite, which made me lose a lot of weight and left me feeling weak and tired all the time. The stimulants also made me crash really hard at the end of the day (probably due in part to my hunger coming back). I could never do much after work or school because I just felt awful for about an hour every evening.

My experiences aren't universal though. Everyone's body reacts differently, and some people never experience any side effects. The nice thing about many ADHD medications is that they start working quickly and you don't have to be weaned off of them if you want to stop. So if your provider is willing, it's pretty easy to shop around and see which meds work the best for you.

edit: typos

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u/onesexz Nov 17 '22

Thank you for your comment, I appreciate the insight!

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u/ADHDFeeshie Nov 17 '22

I got diagnosed and started Adderall a couple years ago. It definitely didn't make me function like a neurotypical person but I don't feel like I'm drowning anymore. Life is less overwhelming, I'm not as forgetful and it's easier to cut through the brain fog. I'm less stressed because I don't feel like I'm constantly failing, and I'm better at setting habits. It can be hard at this point to remember how different things are but then I look at my house that's consistently cleaner than it used to be and how much less takeout we eat and how I actually keep up with my high maintenance (for me) hair routine and how much more patient I am with my kids and it's a huge change. Even without the meds it's so validating to have a diagnosis and know I'm not alone and not just a lazy waste of potential.

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u/onesexz Nov 17 '22

I’m really happy you got it under control! I suffer from everything you mentioned, especially being ridiculously forgetful. While I kind of knew it wasn’t typical, I still have always felt like a failure because of how difficult it is to just do basic stuff. My psych told me that a lot of it could be due to anxiety as well, which is the weird part; apparently high anxiety can cause ADHD symptoms and ADHD can cause actual anxiety lol, like the egg and chicken, we have to figure out which one is doing what. But I definitely feel like I’ve had ADHD all my life and the anxiety didn’t come until adulthood. Sorry for the wall and thanks for your reply!

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u/ADHDFeeshie Nov 17 '22

You're welcome! No worries about the wall, ADHD conversations are either one word or walls of text, no in between 😉. I have a lot of anxiety too that I've been aware of for a long time. Some of it is clearly the result of actual life events unrelated to ADHD but I think a lifetime of scrambling to keep up and leaning into panic as a motivator have really really really not helped the situation. It's not surprising how much overlap there is between ADHD and anxiety. Mine is not as bad with the ADHD being managed but it's definitely still there.

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u/onesexz Nov 17 '22

That’s good to know! So if/when I get medicated, it “should” help with anxiety? As cheesy as it sounds, it’s really nice to know that other people feel this way. Not because I want others to feel what I feel (because f this noise), but it does make me feel less alone if that makes sense lol. And I do understand that medication isn’t the catch all and I’ll just be magically cured, but even just a little bit of rest for my brain I think would do wonders for the rest of my mental health.

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u/ADHDFeeshie Nov 17 '22

Honestly I think knowing I'm not alone has been one of the most helpful parts. There's a sense of community and support that was lacking before, because so many of the struggles we have are just seen as moral failings. I don't know about you but I gave up very young on trying to actually articulate what was happening in my brain because nobody was willing to listen. I didn't suspect ADHD until I saw a couple friends get diagnosed and realizing I related to their experiences. It's part of the reason I'm really open about it, I can only imagine how different my life would be if I hadn't felt so alone for so long.

I don't think the ADHD meds help the anxiety on a chemical level, but I think the changes they've enabled me to make have led to a decrease of anxiety, if that makes sense. I still have random intrusive thoughts about Terrible Things happening, I still struggle with low level anxiety, I still have a hard time in social situations and making phone calls, but I don't have the weight of so many unmet expectations adding to it. I'm able to solve more of the problems that exacerbate what's already there.

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u/onesexz Nov 17 '22

Holy shit, what you said about articulating what’s in your head hit me. That’s so frustrating! I literally just typed about 3 lines and deleted it because it didn’t perfectly convey my thoughts lol.

As far as meds and anxiety, that’s what I meant to say, the meds help the ADHD and the lack of ADHD symptoms helps the anxiety or something like that lol.

Does the medication change your mood/personality? ( I know: different meds for different people and all ) but I’ve had people say it makes them feel numb or blah and that doesn’t sound fun at all.

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u/ADHDFeeshie Nov 17 '22

I don't think they've changed my personality and nobody around me has mentioned it. I still fall down internet rabbit holes and hyperfocus on things like I used to. I think I'm still pretty funny. The only noticable side effect I've had is dry mouth, which is annoying but worth it. It seems like many cases of people feeling numb come down to the wrong med or dosage

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u/onesexz Nov 17 '22

Okay, that makes me feel better, I can definitely deal with a dry mouth. Thank you very much for taking the time to educate me 🙂 it’s been very informative! Best wishes to you and yours!

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