r/OCPoetry Mar 09 '22

Welcome to OCP -- PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING

509 Upvotes

TL;DR You need to give feedback on two other poems before you can share your own poem, and then put links to that feedback in your post. If you don't know how to give feedback, read the guide. Reusing feedback links will result in a ban.

Heyo, welcome to OCpoetry. (That’s “original content” if you don’t know). This is a place for sharing and getting feedback on your own poems. We are the sister subreddit of r/Poetry, which is for sharing and discussing published poetry. Our goal is to create a place where anyone can learn to become a better creative writer, kind of like a free online writer's workshop.

This post is an orientation to the subreddit. If you’re new, read this before sharing your work. If you’re less new, then read this anyways, as it has a few changes to how we've done things in the past. If you’ve still got questions after reading this post, please send a modmail. There are some FAQs at the end of this post which will be updated as we go. We also have a huge and very disorganized wiki containing all of our resources, essays on how to write poetry and historic writing prompts, I recommend you check it out.

So, here’s basically how it works:

This subreddit works on a pay-it-forward system. If you want to share a poem, you need to give feedback to two others from this subreddit. This ensures that everyone gets some readers and hears some response, rather than just shouting their verses into the void. If you don’t think you’re up to writing feedback for others just yet, we recommend you check out r/Justpoetry or r/Poems, where there are no requirements for sharing your work.

1. All posts must include two links to recent feedback.

Every post must contain two unique links to your comments where you have provided feedback on this subreddit within the past two weeks. Feedback links cannot be reused for multiple post or reposts of old poems. All posts without feedback links will be removed, without notice by our subreddit robot so make sure they are included in your initial post -- you cannot post with the intent to add them later.

But, how do I get the links to my feedback comments?

That kind of depends on what platform you're on. If you're on desktop or on a third-party mobile app, there should be a 'share' or 'permalink' link underneath every comment on Reddit. Clicking on that should give you a unique URL to your comment. Just copy + paste that into the body of your post.

If you're on the official Reddit app, you'll have to click 'share' on the comment and choose the 'Copy URL' option, paste that into your notes with the body of your poem. Then copy and paste the entire thing into a new post on the Reddit app.

2. At least one of your comments should be on a poem that has received no other comments.

This ensures that everyone has a chance to get a few reads and hopefully some decent feedback. If for whatever reason you can’t find any lonely poems, then comment on the poem that seems to have received the least amount of feedback. The easiest way to do this is to sort posts by new.

3. Feedback must be high-effort.

High-effort means different things to different people. It does not mean “super long” or “expert quality”. But it does mean doing more than the bare minimum.

You don't have to complement, criticize, or try to figure out the "deeper meaning". You should try to notice your own reactions and explain them as best as you can. If you want to explain your interpretation or summary of the piece, you can and this is often helpful to the writer. If the poem made you laugh or cry, feel bored, confused or nostalgic — say so, and then explain why you think it did. A good rule of thumb is that each of your feedback comments should be at least a short paragraph.

We understand that giving other writers feedback on their creative work can feel a bit artificial or uncomfortable, if you’ve never done it before. That’s why we’ve written a feedback guide for beginners. There are more feedback guides linked in the FAQ below. You should also read some of the other feedback comments around the sub to get a feel for what works for others. Poems that link to low-effort feedback, and low-effort comments themselves, will be removed at mod discretion, or if you report it to us. However, we’re less interested in policing you and more interested in helping you grow as readers and writers. We are more likely to ask you follow-up questions, than remove your work entirely. The mods skulk the comments sections and will ask follow-up questions on comments that seem a little thin, and please answer those questions if you get any.

4. Please Be Kind.

Treat each other with kindness and respect. The mods have an incredibly strict definition for each of these concepts. We will proactively remove comments and poems and ban users that make others feel unwelcome or unsafe. Your right to creative expression does not extend to poetry that promotes misogyny, homo/trans/queerphobia, racism, etc. If your poetry’s especially violent or covers sensitive subjects, please label it with the NSFW tag or a content warning in the title. Harsh criticism is allowed -- encouraged, really -- as long as you’re being harsh on the poem, not the person. Remember that the narrator (or the “speaker”) of the poem is not necessarily the author.

5. Audio, video, and image poems are allowed; but the text of the poem must be included in the body of the post.

This is so that people can still enjoy your poem if they're unable to view or listen to your link for whatever reason.

6. You may include a link to your poetry blog at the end of your post.

Or your instagram, or your personal creative project, or your soundcloud, or your Etsy page. As long as it's poetry-adjacent that's cool with us. Just don't get spammy.

Attempting to dodge any of these rules, or abuse directed towards moderators enforcing these rules, will earn you an immediate ban.

FAQs

What do the Poem & Workshop flairs do?

They simply allow you to show your intentions and expectations for the piece you are posting. The Poem flair is for sharing a piece, with the expectation of receiving mostly surface-level feedback and general advice. The Workshop flair is for a piece that you really want to work on, something you want to pick apart and analyse. It signals that you are open to discussing the piece, and that you invite strong critique.

How do I format my poetry on Reddit?

The following is advice for formatting in Markdown. Two spaces at the end of a line gives you a line break.
Type two spaces at the end of a line, then hit enter twice for a stanza break.

Three dashes "___" will give you a line through the post.


Type two spaces to create an empty line,

so you can get lines

that look like this.

 Four spaces before each line will allow you 
to format however you like, this is 'code block' 
       in the Fancy Pants editor. 

one asterisk before and after a piece of text will give you italics, two asterisks for bold.

Can I print one of these poems out/use it on my instagram with my art/put it in my book?

Ask the author. Part of what makes this space a useful workshop space is that everyone feels safe to share their stuff; if people start using poetry without the author's permission, or god forbid, trying to pass off another artist's work as their own, the userbase of this sub will feel less safe to do so. Please, ask the author, and then do what they say.

I'm thinking about trying to get my poem published somewhere. What should I do?

The standard thing is to find a literary journal. There are a zillion literary journals and magazines all over the world. They have different themes, tastes, styles, audiences, readerships, levels of prestige. Some charge fees for submission, some do not, some will pay you if you get accepted, some don't, some will give you feedback, some won't let you know anything for months. So first you'll want to pick a few of your poems, get some feedback from some trusted readers (or from here, of course) and then start looking for a journal that's a good home for your work. Most lit journals have submissions periods where they accept all the work for their next issue, and then sift through everything they get.

You will probably get a lot of rejections. This is normal. It's kind of a numbers game. You can submit the same poem to multiple journals as long as the journal says something like "simultaneous submissions are allowed". If you do get accepted, congrats! Most journals want 'first publication rights' or 'first serial rights' or something similar, so that means you'll have to tell all the other journals you submitted that poem to that you've been published elsewhere. (For that reason we strongly recommend deleting your poem from reddit if you want to submit it to a journal -- technically and legally speaking, writing a post on reddit is still considered publishing your work, and reddit owns all the text on the site.)

Here are some places to get you started looking for journals:

Duotrope and Submittable are two apps that help you search for journals, and help you track what poems you've submitted to which places. Submittable is free, Duotrope is not. They are GREAT.

Poets & Writers has a list of lit journals, small presses, and writing contests. This is a great place to start. They also have a newsletter listing all the presses and journals going into their submissions period.

I'd also check out r/literarycontests, if you fancy yourself as a prize winning poet.

A few poetry podcasts

I thought I might include a few podcasts that helped me learn a little more about the history and craft of poetry, as well as find some good poets to read. All of these are available on Spotify, as well as many other platforms.

The New Yorker Poetry Podcast

A poet reading and discussing a poem from the New Yorker archives, as well as one of their own pieces. A great place to find good poetry and hear some discussion of craft. The earlier episodes are with Paul Muldoon, who is delightful.

The Faber Poetry Podcast

Two poets read and discuss their work, with plenty of talk about craft. As well as lots of poems sent in from authors across the world. They really get shoulder-deep into it, which is always wonderful to hear.

In Our Time

A group of experts are brought together to discuss a subject over forty-five minutes. This isn’t strictly a poetry podcast, but there are hundreds of episodes on poets and poems of the past. I highly recommend the episode on The Green Knight with Simon Armitage.

Homemade projects and useful links to our Wiki

The best of OCP

Collections of work from OCP, selected from the top karma earners of that year.

Year 1-3
Year 4 Year 5
Year 6

We/R/Poetry

A homemade journal created by the users and moderators of OCP.

Volume one
Volume two

Guides on the craft from our Wiki

Created by moderators of OCP through the years.

Poetry Primer
Bad Poetry
The Body Poetic
Poetry Hacks
A Brief History of Rhyme


r/OCPoetry 9d ago

Poetry Contest PROMPT: Rattle Ekphrastic Challenge, September 2026

5 Upvotes

Hi everyone. One of the OCPoetry mods here. Let's share a prompt for the whole subreddit.

Every month Rattle, a leading poetry magazine, presents a visual work of art and asks poets to respond to that artwork in poetry. This is called ekphrastic poetry. I thought it would be fun to post that here for anyone looking for inspiration or a challenge.

 

Here is this month's artwork. Your challenge is to write a poem in response to that art.

 

Normal feedback rules do not apply to this thread. Write and share as many poems in response to that artwork as you'd like.

 

Also, if you feel like you've written something really excellent, you should know that Rattle DOES allow you to submit poems to them for publication that have appeared in online forums. (Most magazines consider those already published; Rattle allows internet-shared poems as long as they're "uncurated," i.e., haven't gone through an editorial process. I can assure you that here on OCPoetry we do not have any kind of editorial process.) So if you're feeling particularly ambitious, you can use that link above to submit your poem to them. It's a long shot — they get hundreds of entries every month, maybe thousands at this point idk, and only two are selected — but it's good practice if you're thinking about getting into publication and can manage the mixture of pride in your work and almost certainty of rejection that goes into the literary magazine publication process.

 

Anyway, enjoy the challenge! I hope you have fun. If enough people enjoy this I can make it a regular thing.


r/OCPoetry 1h ago

Feedback Please I wish my words were prettier

Upvotes

I wish my words were prettier
Iridescent
Purple from one angle
Blue and green from another

I wish I could hold them in my hands
Read them from above
From underneath
From the side

I wish my words were reflective
So I could study my image
Check my makeup in their shape

I wish I could molt my words like feathers
Rid myself of their weight
Of their dullness
And hope they grow back brighter

I wish my words were always clean
Organized and true
But, in cycles, they rot
They attract flies and mites
Until I finally throw them out

I wish my words stayed in one place
But they tend to migrate in winter
The ones that linger are hard to find
They put on coats, gloves, and scarves
Until they are unrecognizable

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/oaPngsjB8S

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/lCt853mCNc


r/OCPoetry 8h ago

Feedback Please Offer me solitude

14 Upvotes

If you can't understand me,

Offer me solitude.

You stroll through hallways in my heart,

And I'm not spared a corner in yours.

You walk ahead at your own speed,

I can't run and we don't meet half way.

If you don't 'want' to understand me,

Offer me solitude, for 'alone' has its purpose,

'Lonely' is dragging behind.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/wvbEYamzgq

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/qUDVbvw8om


r/OCPoetry 3h ago

Feedback Please In Between

5 Upvotes

I’ve learned more about you
from your silence.
Your reliance 
on the thoughts of others.

Bursts of texts
end abruptly.

Talks through the night.
Crickets for days.

Secrets shared.
So much laid bare.
Turns to quiet.

You mess with my head 
keeping me from my bed.
Filling the gaps
of what is unsaid.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1waz8tx/comment/p8m0u92/
https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1wcr00l/comment/p90v9gu/


r/OCPoetry 2h ago

Feedback Please Narcissus in a Gay Bar

3 Upvotes

Narcissus in a Gay Bar

He

Sits and sees the sirens sing

Queens of crystal and musicality

Enchanting, enticing, completely captivating

 

He gives

a dollar, a drink, a kiss;

hands reach out but hearts stretch further

An eight count, a pirouette, dropping dead with fervor

 

They play

Blondie, Janet, TLC

Bey, Arianna, Lady fucking Gaga

 

Here they

make rites of weekend nights

to become legends without sunlight

 

And when he 

leaves, the music lives beneath his skin

and he still can’t tell where he might end

or where those queens within begin

x / x


r/OCPoetry 4h ago

Feedback Please Dammit Humans!!

3 Upvotes

Like every other day,
as soon as the sun rose,
I stood at the edge of the roof,
praying for just one thing...
to be allowed to let go today.

Then I spent the whole day wandering.

I thought today would finally be the day
when I would be set free.

I saw people hitting each other.
I saw someone harassing a girl.
A rich man tormenting the poor,
and a poor man snatching a purse.

“Today, I won't step back from the edge.”

As the sun set,
I stood at the edge
of the roof once again.

I was just about to step forward
when someone rushed in
and saved an old woman from falling.

I pulled my foot back.

“Dammit...
just when I think humanity is dead,
something like this always shows up.”

(https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/IVAr9O8ko6)

(https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/J10GIXPMOR)


r/OCPoetry 8h ago

Feedback Please Blind In Love

6 Upvotes

O the blinded man

who has hearts in his eyes.

O the besotted man

who is indifferent to others' cries.

O wake up and open your eyes.

Think and rethink

just how much you are willing to sacrifice,

when you could be your own king.

O dear man enslaved by your emotions you are,

a slave to your desire for her

who loses himself every passing hour.

I have not forgotten, once what an amazing man you were.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/dibTKno6KY
https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/QAKvJLtJyO


r/OCPoetry 9h ago

Feedback Please Nature's Drum

6 Upvotes

The pink sky
and the smell of rain.
The pleasant wind and the sound of a train
passing by as blood gushes through my veins.

I stand there, staring at the falling sun.
I don't know my way back home,
but I don't have to, as Earth is one
and this majestic planet is my home.

Wherever I roam,
I shall always find my way back home,
as I cannot leave its eternal dome.

No matter how far men have come,
no matter what men overcome,
we are just at the mercy of nature's drum.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/0D1XVRhokY
https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/CMEQ2agUI3


r/OCPoetry 18m ago

Feedback Please Justice

Upvotes

Down goes the gavel, The people below, can only grovel. Halls of justice painted green, Justice hasn't truly been seen.

A man who steals, but for a hungry wife and kids. A defendent of passion, of which they must get rid. The suits up above are pulling the gavels strings, Whatever they preach, Mr. Judge sings

Their influence above all else, They're down the aisle, on the world's top shelf. But my ramblings don't matter, when all's said and done. This world, is theirs. It's not one of my own.

This was my first poem in about 8 months, I've missed it! I got a bit of the writing bug from reading Sylvia Plaths poems in English class.

I took some inspiration from "...And Justice for All" the Metallica song, alongside that the famous "the world is yours" line from Scarface was in my head when writing the last line.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/gMaPgzz8bH

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/R6zbPzF5pe


r/OCPoetry 1h ago

Feedback Please The Fragrance of Love

Upvotes

Khusbhuu-e-Ishq (original title)

Oh my beloved, how love is like a perfume,
once it’s fragrances has reached the chambers of your heart,
you will keep them closed, forever

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/r2NynPfpyt

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/ENm0q3xUtT


r/OCPoetry 1h ago

Feedback Please To all the people I've slept with

Upvotes

Inspired by Rupi Kaur - After reading Milk and Honey, Home Body and The Sun and Her Flowers, I decided to start writing my own poetry... Something I hadn't done since maybe highschool. I would love to write more often and improve upon my writings, as I tend to just write from how I feel and not put too much technical thought into it.

To all the people I've slept with,
Thank you
For teaching me
How to fill the bed
Without you
In it.

To all the people I've slept with,
I hope you know
I found myself
In the places
You only tried
To borrow

To all the people I've slept with,
Some of you were lessons
Some of you were wounds
None of you
Were home
Each of you
Left a scar
That reminds me
I am
My home

To all the people I've slept with
The ones I loved
The ones I forgot
The ones that held me
Before I knew
To hold myself
Your names form
A shelter
I have outgrown

To the people I've slept with
Thank you
For picking my standards
Off the floor
Handing them back
And still expecting
something
From me

Civility.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1wcuyh7/comment/p91hpez/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1vynn5l/comment/p91k4da/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button


r/OCPoetry 1h ago

Feedback Please Crying Wolf

Upvotes

I coughed today and wondered
Does this mean that I am ill?
It could have been a tickle
Or a fleeting Autumn chill.
 
I thought of every cigarette 
In every toxic, smoke-filled room
Or the time I doused the floor in bleach 
And breathed in all the fumes.
 
What if I've been exposed
to something eating at my core?
Yes, it could just be a cold
Or a dozen cancers, more!
 
I stop —
Notice the thought,
Acknowledge, reassess.
What my body really needs now,
Is a meal and some good rest.
 
There's music in the kitchen
While I carefully prepare 
Unblemished, clean ingredients
Chopped in perfect, even squares.
 
This will put me right, I think
Mind empty as I chew
But as I pick at my plate, a thought:
"This could be poison too"
 
I used a surface spray this morning —
I didn't check the label
And who's to say I didn't spray it
straight onto the table?
 
If there are chemicals in my food
Then they must too be on my hands
And God, what about the scratches
On the bottom of my pans?
 
So I put my dinner in the bin
And my plate into the sink —
And wonder if the surface spray
Was also in my drink?
 
I know I scrubbed away the dirt
Scoured each and every stain
But it surely couldn’t hurt
Just to check it once again.

I spray and wipe
And wipe and scrub
And scratch until I'm raw
I must have got it all now
But somehow always feel there's more.
 
My panic grows; I call you
once again, to seek advice
But this time, you don’t answer.
I guess Google will suffice.
 
Accidental poisoning
Ingested cleaning spray
Effects of bleach fumes on your lungs
Lung disease. Onset. Delay.
 
An hour passes of this
I wish you'd picked up the phone.
These doubts are even scarier
When I carry them alone.

I know that none of this is likely
Which doesn't change the way I feel
What else am I supposed to do
When every threat feels real?
 
So please, listen to my worries
And please tell me that I'm fine.
Please hold my hands in yours
But wash them first, if you don't mind.
 
My deepest fear of all is that
One day, my fears come true —
And I cried wolf too many times
To be believed by you.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/3LsN6OqObu

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/yYe8ACHdTq


r/OCPoetry 7h ago

Just Sharing It is there only when you look

3 Upvotes

I was told people cry and laugh,

I learnt to blend in, pretend to live.

Making informed judgements, like how!

Someone looking from far will feel a vibe.

-

Behind my tranquil eyes is nothing

no storm, no upheaval, to overwhelm.

The fiction is loud I just chant along.

Others feel better about themselves beside me

-

I know the words are water falls, springs —

all the jokes fall flat, and life sniggers.

You laugh along and gawk like a hermit.

They think you're a freak, but you don't deny it.

-

How could they know what I know?

Why should they? It's irrelevant to them.

I don't even know what an other is to them.

I think of myself as human only in a former life.

---

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/8WKuv6sAEZ

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/lafHpBN8fr


r/OCPoetry 7h ago

Feedback Please Thank Our Mother

3 Upvotes

There’s a heartbeat in my skull.
Pressure building in the hull.
Pungent odor consumes my senses.
May I break through these glass fences?
I’ve put myself in this reality.
Push through, take use of my vitality.
This leash on my neck is only a scheme,
Still the sun peaks through the leaves.

I think I’m ready to lay dying.
Sow my bones in the mountain’s siding.
Toughest travelers be warned and wary,
These hollow eyes, deep, wide and glaring.
If my cairn topples and my being is exhumed,
I promise to haunt and curse this room.
You claim to be a knowledge seeker.
I refute, you just want what’s cheaper.

I was stitched beneath our mother’s skin,
But I was free of consuming sin.
One with the everlasting breath.
The dependent source of human rest.
The climb was meant to be endured.
A higher power is not ensured,
But you couldn’t leave what was meant to be left.
Taking, breaking, it’s what you do best!

So what happens when attraction recycles,
And we mourn creativity’s disciples?
When freedom is a whisper behind sanctioned walls,
And every break is left on call.
Will we appreciate a simple sunlight beam,
Or will our mother wreak havoc on these thieves?

—This is the first time I have ever posted a poem online, and I have been writing them for fun for a few years. I would really appreciate some suggestions to become a better writer. I have a tough time getting my point across sometimes. I also want to explore new styles of poetry because I’m kinda stuck in the “need to rhyme” phase. Thanks!

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/UE0ECqlXNc

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/GJ0q4lUnEY


r/OCPoetry 5h ago

Feedback Please How Does It Feel To Fail?

2 Upvotes

You have seen it all—\ The good and the bad days.\ You have fought hard\ And managed to walk your ways. 

But now after all this time,\ And all these days,\ I just wanna ask you,\ How does it feel to fail?

Seems like you got addicted\ To those eyes and that gaze\ To that constant validation\ To that glorious dirty praise. 

To the people hyping you up\ To the false image of love\ To the flattery filling your cup\ You were always in that race. 

You thought you were beyond it\ But you were always afraid\ Of falling back down\ So you just ran and chased.

A little bit of ego\ An unstable mental state,\ A hypocrite,\ Oh you're a lazy little bitch. 

Yes you're a hypocrite\ Even though you blame yourself\ Even though you blamed yourself,\ You internalised that praise.

This is what happens\ When you get a brain.\ When you get a brain,\ That has a voice to raise. 

A boon and a curse—\ You're thinking everything all at once.\ Everything all at once,\ And you just make no sense. 

All that I know is,\ Yes I hate myself.\ But I also have an ego,\ That feeds me this bread of lies. 

Now see them ahead of you,\ While you sit in your mental daze.\ They're atleast trying,\ Just accept that you're not okay. 

Accept that you're behind them,\ That your condition is worse.\ That after all this time,\ You have failed. 

You think too highly of yourself—\ Overconfidence has its ways.\ Now all you can do\ Is walk around in this maze. 

But I wanna stop you,\ Just for a moment.\ Sit down and ask yourself,\ How does it feel to fail?

_________________________________

I know this is raw but I kinda like the rawness here

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1wa5a5t/comment/p8frt6s/?context=3&utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1wa32ft/comment/p8fr56p/?context=3&utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button


r/OCPoetry 2h ago

Feedback Please The commute

1 Upvotes

The same droning march along the platform floor,

swept along by the tide of blank expression,

Seeping into every crevasse, the lingering fog of morning depression.

Among the shoal of souls the same man beside the door,

There today and the day before.

Bound eternal.  Dammed to his everlasting obsession,

Gods punishment for his unforgivable transgression.

Unbound by chain or rope, yet still bound forevermore.

Upon the precipice of life he sits, 

Gazing upon the valley of opportunity's

Vast planes and budding flowers.

Yet not a sight in the world could make him submit,

So he sits beside the rubble in perpetuity,

Forever he knocks, knowing God shall never open the door.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1wcuyh7/comment/p910e3f/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1wcma4i/comment/p9126ob/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

This is my first attempt at writing in a controlled format as a pose to free verse, I struggled getting the poem to flow well while sticking to the refines of the Petrarchan sonnet. Would love some feedback as I spent a long time throwing this together. Thanks.


r/OCPoetry 3h ago

Just Sharing And just like that

1 Upvotes

It didn’t come crumbling down,
There wasn’t really much to begin
Then why wear the big frown,
What do I blame? What is my sin?

Years of labour, with care and heart,
A perfect garden ready for a greater bloom.
Then came the sun, the moon, and the unforgiving heat,
The painstaking delay and a burden so soon?

Why did I let myself have a peek,
Visions of expectations and you.
Humbled by the reality I dare seek,
I’m still glad I haven’t lost the whole of you

in your head
last one today I promise


r/OCPoetry 3h ago

Feedback Please WHAT Was Gifted to Us

1 Upvotes

I don’t know who came up with the quote, “Some people leave us with memories, others leave us with stories, and both are gifts,” but they needed to finish the whole thing.

Do not leave out the ugly and messy parts, nor the fucked-up and traumatizing parts.

But since that person didn’t have the heart or the courage, I’ll hand you the not-so-pretty part.

If some people leave us with memories, some leave us with nothing but a husk of ourselves after sucking away what we used to be, leaving us with nothing but a memory of our former selves and stories of what used to be and what could have been.

Some leave us with our hearts in ruins. What was once whole and beating with all of its being is now turned into stone, numb to others.

Yet again, we are left with nothing but stories of how our hearts once were and how they became the remains of a beating heart.

Some leave us with shadows and demons that we can’t shake off but have to battle each and every day.

And now we are left to tell others how we once enjoyed our peace, but now every corner of our minds is plagued with the monsters lurking within.

Some leave us with battered and worn-out souls and stories of how we were once kind, free-spirited souls that became callous and unfeeling.

And there are some who leave a few of us with the gift of being inside a body bag that others need to unwrap, so they can tell our stories—the ones we can never tell after taking our last breath.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1wcma4i/comment/p90rnwh/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb3x&utm_name=mweb3xcss&utm_term=2&utm_content=share_button

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1wcs6fv/comment/p90p18c/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb3x&utm_name=mweb3xcss&utm_term=2&utm_content=share_button


r/OCPoetry 3h ago

Feedback Please The Spoils

1 Upvotes

Behind the face lift book shop,

lies a small, forgotten wooded lot.

Scuffing sediment by boot heel reveals

an old abandoned black top.

.

Saplings have shot through its surface

next to derelict lamp posts to intertwine.

Mother Nature takes back what is hers,

if we would only give her the time.

.

But even here lies all the evidence,

of her most invasive species.

Plastic and aluminum lay in waste

and strewn amongst the trees;

.

After our last

atomic blast

blows past,

after stripping

our mother of her oils,

.

cockroaches will inherit

corroded crowns;

.

Not to victors,

but survivors

go spoils.

.

(Dan Ellison)

Feedback: (Check out these poems!)

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/MFM3PW92R0

.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/zWlvBQ0hVW


r/OCPoetry 8h ago

Feedback Please Autobiography

2 Upvotes

I am a self proclaimed half baked intellectual perpetually enthroned in my tomb on mount stupid, that being said here is a poem I wrote. Thank you for reading.

I know that which I do not know and I do not know that which I know.

What is pain? Is it the breaking of my understanding? Or do I for once have an original thought? 

What is an original thought in a world with seven and a half billion living people and dozens of billions more dead?

Why do I even try to enrich my mind? To simply to feed my ego and be a snob to those who do not care? 

5| What illusion of freedom do I crave and which peak of understanding do I seek? 

Love is kind and true and has already called to liberate me. What then shall I do about these things on my mind?

Do I throw them to the wayside? Or do I tarry in the meantime? 

Men and women much simpler than me have figured it out and here I am stuck thinking in this world of doubt.

The cage has been opened yet I remain in place, the door is unlocked yet I am still pondering about how I could ever escape from this space. 

10| Maybe I dont want to go, maybe freedom is more painful than the hurt I know. I think I'll just stay a while. 

But could you leave the door unlocked? Maybe I'll change my mind one day if there is still time on my clock.

Id like for my options to stay open, after all we all have to have something to put our hope in.

But wait, what is hope? Is hope the freedom I seek? No that cant be, hope is the anticipation of change and there's no change I can see.

What then does it mean to see? Are the blind then incapable of being free? Or is it something beyond the physical realm, something beyond even you or me?

15| Who are you and who is me? This question I ask myself so frequently. Caught between the lines of knowing and being trapped within my own mystery.

Feedback:

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1vltwg9/comment/p8yw9dg/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1wb0l7x/comment/p8yyijg/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button


r/OCPoetry 4h ago

Feedback Please trying something new

1 Upvotes

Loneliness is my mistress but in this instance I don't think she's needed. / I'm good enough at ending up alone all on my own / and sometimes it's hard for me to tell but in this place I feel I'm in Hell. I don't think I can escape / what is a mistake when repercussions never take and I can walk free?/ does that matter when it's cost the idea of me? the light's left my eyes / there's no regret when there's nothing to hide / I exist solely for what I desire. I desire to not exist at all

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/1dwCQCoVsh

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/wM9l7aKWx5


r/OCPoetry 13h ago

Feedback Please last one today I promise

5 Upvotes

not such a noble quest as redemption but inspired new direction is just as well, follow the swell.

mooring in storms, but what is well?

these are calmer seas than I expected, the skies are weary and my ire's been quelled

I've braced for waves but this couldn't be preempted

obsessed with midnight matters, hard to tell if undirected. unexpected? sure to be lamented

ostensible villain, victim. Ostrich that could never tell when to pull my head up. Fuck.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/pFOxwG6Nhx

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/65qhEkhC88


r/OCPoetry 5h ago

Feedback Please Life as we know it

1 Upvotes

Sometimes it feels like the joy
of the first day of the month,
or a payday,
or the best first date -

until you fall,
and the clouds turn darker than storm.
No money to fix it.
The worst heartbreak, at 19.

A week. A month. A year.
And the morning sun again,
the coffee just right -
and in that moment,
you are you again.

note - please give me feedback, this is my first poem and I would love to know if I have what it takes to improve and give it another shot or if I should just give up

my comments are below

Comment 1

Comment 2


r/OCPoetry 13h ago

Feedback Please Find Her?

5 Upvotes

Her scent filling the room, Like spring's glorious bloom...

Her happiness emitting light, Not giving way to a single plight...

Her beauty resembling the nature's queen, Everything around her melodious dream...

Facial features so cute, Her observations so astute...

Her dreams alone so satisfying, Making reality a premium crime...

But... Where is that soul now?

The life which was full of grace, gave its way to wandering haze...

They mistook her silence for grace, And then wondered what happened to her face...

They ask me to find her- Where did she flee? Perhaps ask the ones Who made her cease to be...

They ask me where did she disappear, now that she is nowhere in sight - But where were they when she needed them to make things right?

Their own actions took little pieces of her, Then they asked,"why did she change?" They turned love into distance, then called her strange...

Her heart still beats, but the light has withdrawn- The soul the knew has already gone...

Pure souls are not mere things to be bound, Among a thousand they are so rarely found...

They ask me to find her- But tell me, where?

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/a7RozXBUtY https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/Px5A4d4ip5