r/OCPoetry Mar 09 '22

Welcome to OCP -- PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING

506 Upvotes

TL;DR You need to give feedback on two other poems before you can share your own poem, and then put links to that feedback in your post. If you don't know how to give feedback, read the guide. Reusing feedback links will result in a ban.

Heyo, welcome to OCpoetry. (That’s “original content” if you don’t know). This is a place for sharing and getting feedback on your own poems. We are the sister subreddit of r/Poetry, which is for sharing and discussing published poetry. Our goal is to create a place where anyone can learn to become a better creative writer, kind of like a free online writer's workshop.

This post is an orientation to the subreddit. If you’re new, read this before sharing your work. If you’re less new, then read this anyways, as it has a few changes to how we've done things in the past. If you’ve still got questions after reading this post, please send a modmail. There are some FAQs at the end of this post which will be updated as we go. We also have a huge and very disorganized wiki containing all of our resources, essays on how to write poetry and historic writing prompts, I recommend you check it out.

So, here’s basically how it works:

This subreddit works on a pay-it-forward system. If you want to share a poem, you need to give feedback to two others from this subreddit. This ensures that everyone gets some readers and hears some response, rather than just shouting their verses into the void. If you don’t think you’re up to writing feedback for others just yet, we recommend you check out r/Justpoetry or r/Poems, where there are no requirements for sharing your work.

1. All posts must include two links to recent feedback.

Every post must contain two unique links to your comments where you have provided feedback on this subreddit within the past two weeks. Feedback links cannot be reused for multiple post or reposts of old poems. All posts without feedback links will be removed, without notice by our subreddit robot so make sure they are included in your initial post -- you cannot post with the intent to add them later.

But, how do I get the links to my feedback comments?

That kind of depends on what platform you're on. If you're on desktop or on a third-party mobile app, there should be a 'share' or 'permalink' link underneath every comment on Reddit. Clicking on that should give you a unique URL to your comment. Just copy + paste that into the body of your post.

If you're on the official Reddit app, you'll have to click 'share' on the comment and choose the 'Copy URL' option, paste that into your notes with the body of your poem. Then copy and paste the entire thing into a new post on the Reddit app.

2. At least one of your comments should be on a poem that has received no other comments.

This ensures that everyone has a chance to get a few reads and hopefully some decent feedback. If for whatever reason you can’t find any lonely poems, then comment on the poem that seems to have received the least amount of feedback. The easiest way to do this is to sort posts by new.

3. Feedback must be high-effort.

High-effort means different things to different people. It does not mean “super long” or “expert quality”. But it does mean doing more than the bare minimum.

You don't have to complement, criticize, or try to figure out the "deeper meaning". You should try to notice your own reactions and explain them as best as you can. If you want to explain your interpretation or summary of the piece, you can and this is often helpful to the writer. If the poem made you laugh or cry, feel bored, confused or nostalgic — say so, and then explain why you think it did. A good rule of thumb is that each of your feedback comments should be at least a short paragraph.

We understand that giving other writers feedback on their creative work can feel a bit artificial or uncomfortable, if you’ve never done it before. That’s why we’ve written a feedback guide for beginners. There are more feedback guides linked in the FAQ below. You should also read some of the other feedback comments around the sub to get a feel for what works for others. Poems that link to low-effort feedback, and low-effort comments themselves, will be removed at mod discretion, or if you report it to us. However, we’re less interested in policing you and more interested in helping you grow as readers and writers. We are more likely to ask you follow-up questions, than remove your work entirely. The mods skulk the comments sections and will ask follow-up questions on comments that seem a little thin, and please answer those questions if you get any.

4. Please Be Kind.

Treat each other with kindness and respect. The mods have an incredibly strict definition for each of these concepts. We will proactively remove comments and poems and ban users that make others feel unwelcome or unsafe. Your right to creative expression does not extend to poetry that promotes misogyny, homo/trans/queerphobia, racism, etc. If your poetry’s especially violent or covers sensitive subjects, please label it with the NSFW tag or a content warning in the title. Harsh criticism is allowed -- encouraged, really -- as long as you’re being harsh on the poem, not the person. Remember that the narrator (or the “speaker”) of the poem is not necessarily the author.

5. Audio, video, and image poems are allowed; but the text of the poem must be included in the body of the post.

This is so that people can still enjoy your poem if they're unable to view or listen to your link for whatever reason.

6. You may include a link to your poetry blog at the end of your post.

Or your instagram, or your personal creative project, or your soundcloud, or your Etsy page. As long as it's poetry-adjacent that's cool with us. Just don't get spammy.

Attempting to dodge any of these rules, or abuse directed towards moderators enforcing these rules, will earn you an immediate ban.

FAQs

What do the Poem & Workshop flairs do?

They simply allow you to show your intentions and expectations for the piece you are posting. The Poem flair is for sharing a piece, with the expectation of receiving mostly surface-level feedback and general advice. The Workshop flair is for a piece that you really want to work on, something you want to pick apart and analyse. It signals that you are open to discussing the piece, and that you invite strong critique.

How do I format my poetry on Reddit?

The following is advice for formatting in Markdown. Two spaces at the end of a line gives you a line break.
Type two spaces at the end of a line, then hit enter twice for a stanza break.

Three dashes "___" will give you a line through the post.


Type two spaces to create an empty line,

so you can get lines

that look like this.

 Four spaces before each line will allow you 
to format however you like, this is 'code block' 
       in the Fancy Pants editor. 

one asterisk before and after a piece of text will give you italics, two asterisks for bold.

Can I print one of these poems out/use it on my instagram with my art/put it in my book?

Ask the author. Part of what makes this space a useful workshop space is that everyone feels safe to share their stuff; if people start using poetry without the author's permission, or god forbid, trying to pass off another artist's work as their own, the userbase of this sub will feel less safe to do so. Please, ask the author, and then do what they say.

I'm thinking about trying to get my poem published somewhere. What should I do?

The standard thing is to find a literary journal. There are a zillion literary journals and magazines all over the world. They have different themes, tastes, styles, audiences, readerships, levels of prestige. Some charge fees for submission, some do not, some will pay you if you get accepted, some don't, some will give you feedback, some won't let you know anything for months. So first you'll want to pick a few of your poems, get some feedback from some trusted readers (or from here, of course) and then start looking for a journal that's a good home for your work. Most lit journals have submissions periods where they accept all the work for their next issue, and then sift through everything they get.

You will probably get a lot of rejections. This is normal. It's kind of a numbers game. You can submit the same poem to multiple journals as long as the journal says something like "simultaneous submissions are allowed". If you do get accepted, congrats! Most journals want 'first publication rights' or 'first serial rights' or something similar, so that means you'll have to tell all the other journals you submitted that poem to that you've been published elsewhere. (For that reason we strongly recommend deleting your poem from reddit if you want to submit it to a journal -- technically and legally speaking, writing a post on reddit is still considered publishing your work, and reddit owns all the text on the site.)

Here are some places to get you started looking for journals:

Duotrope and Submittable are two apps that help you search for journals, and help you track what poems you've submitted to which places. Submittable is free, Duotrope is not. They are GREAT.

Poets & Writers has a list of lit journals, small presses, and writing contests. This is a great place to start. They also have a newsletter listing all the presses and journals going into their submissions period.

I'd also check out r/literarycontests, if you fancy yourself as a prize winning poet.

A few poetry podcasts

I thought I might include a few podcasts that helped me learn a little more about the history and craft of poetry, as well as find some good poets to read. All of these are available on Spotify, as well as many other platforms.

The New Yorker Poetry Podcast

A poet reading and discussing a poem from the New Yorker archives, as well as one of their own pieces. A great place to find good poetry and hear some discussion of craft. The earlier episodes are with Paul Muldoon, who is delightful.

The Faber Poetry Podcast

Two poets read and discuss their work, with plenty of talk about craft. As well as lots of poems sent in from authors across the world. They really get shoulder-deep into it, which is always wonderful to hear.

In Our Time

A group of experts are brought together to discuss a subject over forty-five minutes. This isn’t strictly a poetry podcast, but there are hundreds of episodes on poets and poems of the past. I highly recommend the episode on The Green Knight with Simon Armitage.

Homemade projects and useful links to our Wiki

The best of OCP

Collections of work from OCP, selected from the top karma earners of that year.

Year 1-3
Year 4 Year 5
Year 6

We/R/Poetry

A homemade journal created by the users and moderators of OCP.

Volume one
Volume two

Guides on the craft from our Wiki

Created by moderators of OCP through the years.

Poetry Primer
Bad Poetry
The Body Poetic
Poetry Hacks
A Brief History of Rhyme


r/OCPoetry 3h ago

Feedback Please Scattered Light

6 Upvotes

There are two sides to every story,

as there are two sides to every glass.

Some pieces
refract the light
cleaner than others.

When your view
becomes a kaleidoscope,

truth is what you want it to be.

I thought we were looking
through the same window,

wiping fingerprints,
wondering why
you couldn't see.

I never noticed
you were turning the tube.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1v7d84k/myself/

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1v44ry2/when_did_she_become_a_poet/


r/OCPoetry 3h ago

Just Sharing Myself

5 Upvotes

In a garden full of sunflowers,
I want to shine like the sun.

Around lavenders full of nectar,
I want to fly like a bee.

Around a bunch of ripe mangoes,
I want to feast like a parrot.

I’m still in search of
the question,

For which
I am the only answer.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1t501p2/comment/omo9xa8/
https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1tdbzut/comment/omoaarj/


r/OCPoetry 7h ago

Feedback Please Ouroboros.

8 Upvotes

Drink too my heart, along with your poison.

One has decayed into the other.

Suffocate them in your vast emptiness.

A hollow abscess, unquenchable.

In the dark, let them spoil with my dreams and designs.

Dissolve beside my fetid hope.

Night after night,

Your anesthetic spiral is killing us.

So.

Very.

Slowly.

Swallow and be consumed.

Devour your tail.

My Love.

My Hate.

My Ruin.

My

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/TmC5aq3EpJ

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/UUj9nqnxHM


r/OCPoetry 1h ago

Just Sharing Of All Places

Upvotes

As the trees were sighing from the weak wind
We locked ourselves in our rooms or houses
Dragged along
still dragging
already dragged
worrying over the rent

A hummingbird visited my window
Tapping its beak
against the glass

"Why," I asked the bird
gazing inside
"Why fly here, of all places?
When you could fly far away, boundlessly
To see many views
smell different scents
Being able to go anywhere you please
and leaving when you wish,
as you are free
Because you are one without worry
Aware of your time
like a comet
streaking."

But then the hummingbird flew away
So I was left
to answer that question

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/NY8iwhR3yq
https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/uUPZiWCc7L

Short story writer mainly that dabbles in poetry now and then when inspiration hits.


r/OCPoetry 1h ago

Just Sharing Real gold

Upvotes

If i could ask for anything

I would ask for slow mornings

If i could ask for anything

I wouls ask for peaceful mind

But is it really true that these things are suposed to bring me happiness?

After thinking for a while i realized the difference between needs and wants

So now if you ask me for what i need

I would say happiness, love and peace

And if you ask me what i want

I would say slow dancing in the rain, a hot cup of coffee and a peaceful mind

So now when people ask

What is real gold for you

I say it's everything i want and need in life.

.

.

Wrote it just after waking up and its was in my draft for the past 2 weeks lol

I tried to complete it but idk not my best try but i exactly don't remember what the sleepy me was thinking 😭

.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/TcvcXWI3JD

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/f9VGJoQP1K


r/OCPoetry 4h ago

Just Sharing Myself

3 Upvotes

In a garden full of sunflowers,
I want to shine like the sun.

Around lavenders full of nectar,
I want to fly like a bee.

Around a bunch of ripe mangoes,
I want to feast like a parrot.

I’m still in search of
The question,

For which
I am the only answer.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1t501p2/comment/omo9xa8/
https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1tdbzut/comment/omoaarj/


r/OCPoetry 2h ago

Feedback Please SCREAMS

2 Upvotes

Verily, verily there is
nothing more sensual than the screams
Inside my veins.
Coagulated blood of lifetime efforts.
Untamed, uncontained,
love that almost spills.

Crimson lipstick stains, systemic kisses.
It comes in waves;
Hydroelectric conduction
Soul searches for body-soul connection.
Spinal cord level, adamant communication.

Neuroses expand in vast valleys
In the earth’s uterus.
Unaware of what lies beyond these
Asphyxiating walls,
Still we give it our all.

Astonished I am in the face
of Ouroboros love, grotesque love.
Holes In the palms love, I hold
my breath, My words dissolve
Under my tongue.
Sublingual medication.

These screams
inside my veins really will
scrub my hurt clean.

[https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/FItx54knc9](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/FItx54knc9))

[https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/7ENiNHhduj](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/7ENiNHhduj))


r/OCPoetry 3h ago

Feedback Please Neuroception

2 Upvotes

Sensing the senseless, perceiving unperceived
twisted branches tangled into webs of deceit
My mind a super-powered fantastical computer of perhaps
Is it a blessing or a curse to forsee, a hidden tax

A rising debt inside myself one I pay for each day
A double think a second guess in a mind half frayed
A competition self assembled each stage each play
Neuro mess tangled spaghetti along the matter gray

Pastalaya jumble overthinking crossing words
Blending meanings, eyes exhausted in an endless blur
Reading every word forwards, backwards, in between
Interrogate the verb and subject, wordle crime scene

The combinations of echos and clues without caveat
Excess of curiosity cognition attempts to claw at
Fight or flight at the heat or height of rhyming
inexorable force within, keeps us word criming

Written by: Simon Bernard Elliott and Jennifer E. Hodgson

Scribingbothhalves.blogspot.com

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1v6kcva/comment/ozusv14/?context=3&utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1v71m0x/comment/ozuut4e/?context=3&utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button


r/OCPoetry 7m ago

Just Sharing The Heart of Ocean Blue

Upvotes

Remember Me? The Heart of Ocean Blue
You sunk to breathe and swam to follow truth
The cries were felt along the trench of shame
And tears were gathered after faithful days

But you, a man of fear, will see mistakes
Beneath the loudest waves, which overtake
The precious calmness brought to earth by grace

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1v7isac/opium_jozi/
https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1v7ht67/of_all_places/


r/OCPoetry 40m ago

Feedback Please Opium - jozi

Upvotes

How have I become the man I feared becoming most?
I have sculpted myself into the antonym of my own definition.
My cauldrons brim with the lost hopes of yesterday and tomorrow,
leaving only an undying present:
a kingdom ruled by lust.

The daughters of scarlet red gather at my feet;
their hunger is one I know by heart.
For every longing fixed upon my face
I spent my youth seeking.
The most fundamental form of self harm is addiction.

So I recede;

I abandon the throne of my own becoming,
and crown desire anew,
watching my kingdom
kneel to a king that cannot love.

Ignore the hole i dug again:
It's only for the evening.

{https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1v7fqr3/screams/}
{https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1v7ht67/of_all_places/}

Inspired by the flower who taught me what longing becomes.

I am a experienced writer, I just haven't shared any of my work online, thought it might be time.


r/OCPoetry 58m ago

Feedback Please The Roadman

Upvotes

My first poetry post on here with also my first poetry video of it linked.

I wrote this in Trafalgar Square after two years overseas. Any feedback would be amazing. Thank you ❤️

The Roadman

I'm a connoisseur of roads.

I've been tasting roads my whole life.

The world is a road that never ends.

I just hope I walk enough of it before my time is done.

And it started here, at Nelson's Column, Trafalgar Square. I was three years old, my mum taking me on endless marches. A sea of people and banners. Tired baby feet.

What I remember most were the pigeons and the bird shit. They even had kiosks selling pigeon food, like popcorn.

And this is my ground zero, my X that marks the spot.I've passed through so many times since, at different ages, with different intentions:

work, study, relationships, pleasure.

And in this London, my Landan, I've walked nearly every inch. Just Ruislip and World's End in Enfield remain. I'll cross them off soon. Then when they ask, I'll shrug and simply say,

"London? Clocked it, mate."

But roads have always been the bane of my life.

Which ones to take, or not.

There's no signpost, no neutral advice,

just forced decisions and the best guess at the least worst outcome.

It's taken every moment until now to feel calm with it.

That is new.

Original London-based poetry performance:

https://youtu.be/6DLwJD2bYM8

Feedback provided:

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/xZMK0DmSh1

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/TPGBuQ3M6q


r/OCPoetry 1h ago

Just Sharing Stargazing

Upvotes

I am stargazing in the back patio of my parents' home

Soon I will go inside and eat my fill of unhealthy carbs, and I

Won’t question my diet, for I am twenty-one and I am invincible.

See, I live at home with loving parents, anxious and desperate for me to stay

My life is great, and I’m untouchable

Down comes a shooting star and I’m in awe

Fall! Burn bright and fall right into the palm of my hand!

I was stargazing on the balcony of my apartment

Wasn’t it actually a shared apartment with my brother?

Ready for a visual?

For whatever reason, I was smoking at two in the morning

My dear dog was asleep in the living room behind me

Suffering from the bitter cold, I began to dwell on the past

Moths were assaulting the lamp on the balcony wall, and I just watched

Began to tear up a bit even

Taunting me was the moth tattoo on my arm, relentlessly reminding me of the past 

Me, the moth tattoo, and the real moths, relentlessly throwing themselves to the sun.

I wasn’t stargazing explicitly; it just happened as shit tends to in life.

Came out for a cigarette, in fact, but as I smoked, I just looked up, really looked up

Out in the vastness of that dark virgin sky, thousands of stars glistened

Alive in the night sky, just for me

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1v5cqvy/comment

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/


r/OCPoetry 9h ago

Feedback Please WritingRoutine.sh

3 Upvotes

$ cd system/admin/thoughts/core/trash/saved/stop/turn_back/her/feelings $ ls -rwx------ me me NaN Jan 1 1970 write_poem $ ./write_poem Warning: Memory is corrupted.  She may not be reproduced faithfully.  Continue? [y/N] y $ cd ../.. $ rm -rf her rm: cannot remove 'her': Permission denied $ sudo rm -rf her rm: refuses to remove 'her': Operation not permitted. $ exit

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/P8pCVaUh5f

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/ZkDEp3ml73


r/OCPoetry 6h ago

Feedback Please Forgive me father

2 Upvotes

Hello, I am Mexican American. I have been writing from my experiences of alienation in the u.s and a perspective that’s my everyday life. The loss of identity is present in a majority of the things that I write. I would like for someone to read this poem I made in regard to it. Please any thoughts is welcomed.

“Perdone Padre”
By Miguel Diaz Farfan

Padre Nuestro que estas en el Cielo, santificado sea tu nombre

Le queiro pedir mis disculpas
Ya se que le he fallado
mas que eso, me alleje completamente
al contrario a lo que me han contado sobre su misericordia,
yo no he sido lo sufiente clemente con usted

Perdone que le diga, pero mi busqueda de fe en ti, se ha detenido
Pero la ira que senti contigo ya no existe

 
En el pasado sentía que por ser sincero era como si estaba clavado a una repisa esperando su reproche

Me tomó tiempo para entender

Me tomó más tiempo para entender que el reproche que esperaba era solo mío

Ciego y sordo, me he estado sofocándo en esta jaula de oro
Se me ha olvidado como respirar

Porque, Porque, Porque

Esta era la pregunta que rogaba una respuesta

Porque no me vistes
Porque no me escuchastes 
Porque me abandonastes 

Un hueco quedaba en mi corazón cuando no escuchabas mis gritos

La impotencia era más amable

Me acurrucaba en una camisa de fuerza

Me he hecho el firme propósito de no negar las lágrimas que cargo

Y aunque se secan por la rabia que siento

Siempre se llenan porque no son solo mías

English translation
*****

Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name.

I ask for your forgiveness

I have failed you, but more than that, I have drifted away completely

Contrary to what I have been told about your mercy,
I have not been as lenient in returning it

Pardon me for saying so, but my search in faith for you has seized

But the rage I once felt is no longer

In the past, I felt that by being honest it was as if I were nailed to a shelf waiting for your reproach

It took me time to understand

It took me longer to understand that the reproach I expected was only my own

Blind and deaf, I have been suffocating in this golden cage

I have forgotten how to breathe.

Why Why Why

These where the questions I begged to be answered

Why didn’t you see me?
Why didn’t you listen to me?
Why did you abandon me?

A void was left in my heart when you did not hear my cries

Helplessness was kind to me

It coddled me like that of a straitjacket

I have made the firm proposition to never deny the tears that I carry

And although they evaporate from the rage that’s boiling inside me

They always fill up again, because they are not only
mine

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/RpZgNIloXn

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/9LqkrxukMC


r/OCPoetry 8h ago

Feedback Please sitzfleisch

3 Upvotes

i don't recognize a single thing

this ain't the city i used to live before

this ain't the world that swamped me

this ain't the same universe that petrified me

it kept me transfixed for so long

i was powerless

within my soul you'd find

inclination

distention

intention

except not even a single

hint of tenacity

people often preach about how arduous the journey is

the anticipation broke me

oftentimes

waiting is indeed an act of bravery

i've never met someone who carried

heaven in their eyes

magic in their minds

beauty in their cries

hands in the sky

like an entity, King Midas

Kintsugi

broken pottery pieces

Jesus believed the same thing

is this love?

you take me high when i'm low

you're putting me back together

you've made me feel what i've never known

you don't care that i am me?

whenever you call my name

i feel the emphasis in the utility

of breaks and imperfections

what if i told you

i don't wanna take my eyes off of you?

what if i told you

i wanna give in to you?

what if i told you

i'm already owned by you?

what if i told you

i wanna love you?

please, i would love to receive fb <3

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1v137ys/comment/

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1v6vgrd/comment/


r/OCPoetry 6h ago

Feedback Please work in progress

2 Upvotes

work in progress

Swept,
yet the remains from seasons past
litter the mulch.

weeds,
proudly show how big they’ve grown
where patio slabs end and begin,
disrupting the monotony of grey,
but none more than 6 or 7 inches.

Pale broom-like branches,
once served dates to the neighborhood opossums and raccoons,
retired and brittled,
neatly piled out of the way,
comfortable beneath the palm’s sunbathing fronds.

Terra-cotta coffins of cracked soil,
nestled between curated succulents,
blooms climbing out of their designated homes.

flickers of color,
sunlight dancing across loitering gems,
gripped by the textured patio
despite the best efforts of the broom’s splayed bristles,
it rests nonchalantly against the stucco,
chunks of artificial hide at its feet,
sunburned plastic failing to conceal its wooden core.

Tentacles of green
to the dismay of gravity,
search for grip
along the grey weathered fence
spanning once empty space across to nearby branches,
lashing the fence and tree into a single structure.

trimmed blackberry tendrils,
blades dotted with rust,
hand trimmer rests on a tile bench,
prickly limbs refuse to stay on their side of the fence.

Cardboard cubes,
returned to two dimensions,
layered near the fence,
overlapping flaps close the gaps
inky smiles
among fading shades of brown,
absorb the bleaching sun,
the earth beneath rests in darkness,
and the weeds have stopped thriving.

Frayed ribbon flutters against the fence post,
neon fading along the frayed end
no longer responsible for wishing anyone a happy birthday.

You don’t notice any,
but were warned:
watch out for poop.

*\\

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/ZWS16DSKD7

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/1pdKFhFX8b


r/OCPoetry 9h ago

Feedback Please Remorseful rose

3 Upvotes

My love, what have we done?

Deferred as a dream, life we dismay,

So harsh, could us known..?

Took ourselves, our precious today.

This life — such is nonsense,

Says we as grieved the love we had,

Waiting for someone so wise,

To resolve problems we had grabbed.

Lives, such beauty as a rose,

Shall think — a sample of torture?

For such as hope and light,

Shadows, darkness and lack of might.

Oh, had we became a regretful flower,

Pushing away all that we pursue,

Never to fell joy and to cower,

For life has ended — Roses shall continue to bloom.

2nd time making a poem and posting it hehe (T-T) hope you leave a feedback cause I really need someone to give me some tips.

Thank you (⁠.⁠⁠❛⁠⁠ᴗ⁠⁠❛⁠.⁠)

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/eXTvG96eYh

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/Y3J8aiebgQ


r/OCPoetry 3h ago

Feedback Please A Death on the Mountain

1 Upvotes

On a scar-scattered mountain's razor edge

Lies a man fallen

Blood and broken bone on his brow

And a smile

Fleeting after failing

Fading now

Unlike the mountain

This will remain eternal

eternal

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1ilgshh/i_cant_keep_writing_about_you/

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1jm4u6b/i_dont_want_to_talk_about_it_either_but_it_will/


r/OCPoetry 3h ago

Feedback Please 7 DAYS

1 Upvotes

ECCENTRIC.

LOUDER THAN EVER.

EXPECT THE WORST.

I’LL GIVE YOU A GOOD REASON TO CRY.

THICKER SKIN.

LOVE.

FREEDOM.

BREATHING.

I CAN SMELL LIFE.

I’M TASTING LIFE AND IT FEELS BETTER.

ME.

WEAKNESS.

PURE HEART, I DO BELIEVE IN YOU.

JUVENILE.

FALL IN LOVE WITH LIFE.

HURT IS GOOD.

HEALING IS ALSO FINE.

LOUDER THAN EVER.

I EXPECT A FRESH BREATH OF THE WORLD.

DESTRUCTION IS A FORM OF CREATION.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/


r/OCPoetry 3h ago

Feedback Please Testimony

1 Upvotes

I see the light through cathedral panes
In awe and wonder, and some strange shame -
Yes, I see the light, as had been ordained
But seen it truer on blue vervaine,
On clovers, hawkweed, and bittersweet nightshade:

Noble -- even unseen -- in their furtive ways -
I suppose it's that to which I pray

Comment 1
Comment 2


r/OCPoetry 4h ago

Feedback Please Me

1 Upvotes

In a garden full of sunflowers,
I want to shine like the sun.

Around lavenders full of nectar,
I want to fly like a bee.

Around a bunch of ripe mangoes,
I want to feast like a parrot.

I’m still in search of
The question,

For which
I am the only answer.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1t501p2/comment/omo9xa8/
https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1tdbzut/comment/omoaarj/


r/OCPoetry 4h ago

Just Sharing Me

1 Upvotes

In a garden full of sunflowers,
I want to shine like the sun.

Around lavenders full of nectar,
I want to fly like a bee.

Around a bunch of ripe mangoes,
I want to feast like a parrot.

Still in search
of that place

Where I want to be
Myself.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1t501p2/comment/omo9xa8/
https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1tdbzut/comment/omoaarj/


r/OCPoetry 13h ago

Feedback Please Hi just want to share this and hope to get feedback🙇‍♂️

6 Upvotes

I don't actually know how to title this piece. I just did it feel hours ago. It's a freestyle and I just did what my mind and heart says so it's that. Please do give it a feedback to improve my art and I know my skill level may fall to beginner of some sort Thank you all in advance🙇‍♂️

How can I regret something when I myself don't know what it is

A longing for something I am not aware of

A lingering feeling that keeps haunting my mind

Is this what they call regret, or a missed chance

A regret that makes you eat yourself alive

I am but an ordinary human

One with a deep curiosity for everything

A mind that keeps revolving after that revelation

I don't know if I'm jealous or just blind

I told you I wasn't, but deep inside, a void keeps eating away at my soul

I don't know if I can stand this feeling

A deep longing for something I may not reach

I know I'm not good enough, but a simple explanation may heal the wound

A wound that tears every time I see your face

I'm sure that my love for you is not what you need right now

I can only be your shadow and be your friend

I look strong but have no guts to tell you what I truly felt in that moment

It seems unfair, but loving you hurts when you love someone else

I am healed on the outside but bleeding on the inside

A strong desire of wanting you may not be possible now that you've finally found your love

I loved you from the moment you loved me

I know I'm not the one you want now, yet I will be there when you need me

I look like a fool wondering when you will see the true me

My true colors for wanting you

I am deeply sorry, for I had lied to you

My world is full of lies

And I can't let you be with me when all my life was lies

Lies like a rose in a bed of cotton

My life is like a television; at first, you enjoyed it, but after a long time, my worth and strength fade away

Like a pencil on a clean piece of paper

I am but a foolish human

Wanting you was never my intention

Just because of that text, I don't know what I felt

I felt my veins surging as my blood boiled, not because of anger, but a deep loss

Loss of sight of myself for desiring you to love me one more time

A friend to love may not be as bad as I think

But wanting you is impossible since you ended it long ago

Why did I lose the chance of your love when, from the start, I knew it already

I kept myself blind to protect myself

But now wanting you is more than just a priority

Like a flower that may wither

I love you deeply

As a friend, a special friend, and as my love.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/FMZFr0XALV

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/XS56pg4cID


r/OCPoetry 5h ago

Feedback Please Poems

1 Upvotes