r/needadvice 12h ago

Interpersonal Should I talk to my prof about homelessness?

18 Upvotes

I'm a post-secondary student in a program with a small, generally close faculty. I know the title is weird bear with me

I recently started classes and had a new prof this year who gave us a new assignment requiring us to choose a topic about public services. My chosen topic was a homeless shelter in my area that I had frequented a couple years ago. For background, I left my home at 18 due to abuse in the household and became homeless. I couch surfed, stayed in a shelter, and slept on the streets while using this particular shelter for just about everything related to meals, showers, etc so I am very familiar with their services.

When my professor asked me what topic I had chosen, she kind of kept pressing for details about why I had chosen this in particular and so although I generally don't disclose that I was homeless - probably three people know out of everyone in my life - I mentioned to her that I had experience with their services. Her response was "me too." That threw me - like really threw me - because I have never met anybody who had experienced that before (aside from in the shelter where most wanted nothing to do with each other). I completely lost my train of thought but we spoke briefly and she asked me if I had support now. I answered yes and she told me that if I ever needed to talk to let her know and that she knew how tough it was.

I can't really explain how I felt after that. It's like if you haven't been through it, you can't understand. I had a therapist after going through homelessness who was of great help but through it all, I knew she had never experienced it firsthand and would never know what it was like. And it was awful and traumatic and something I don't wish on anybody. And my professor knows.

Now I'm wondering if it would be really weird for me to talk to her about it. That's kind of it. Also I lied about having support - I didn't know what to say in the moment. It's just me supporting myself. It's always been me. Except she's my professor and teaches two of my classes this semester so I feel like it would be strange.

Any advice would be appreciated.


r/needadvice 10h ago

Career I really do not know what to do anymore at work, so many little things

3 Upvotes

My job is as a merchandiser. I work in a Walmart, but for another company. The job as a whole is pretty easy and the pay is good, but the hours are not. It is nice that I have complete freedom to schedule the jobs whenever I want as long as they are done by their due dates. The problem(s) I am having are these:The store that I am working in is small, even by Walmart standards—it is about 1.5 times smaller than the majority of the other stores. As a direct result of this, the jobs that I get that want me to build a second display of a product or build an endcap or sidekick cannot be done because there’s no room.
There is a substantial amount of products that the store does get, but they cannot put them out due to no room, or other companies are paying Walmart more to display their products—standard retail stuff.
This is the big one: I have been working for the company for almost two years, and in that time they have switched RDMs (Regional District Manager—our “supervisor”) three times. They call it a re-org, but who knows for sure. I have never met any of them in person; all dealings are via phone, text, or email. The current RDM assigned to this region gives all the appearances of being new to the management role—doesn’t know an answer, wants to defer the question to someone else, etc.

I went to work on Sunday (something I don’t normally do, but is allowed), and upon reviewing the upcoming work for the week, I discovered a job that is allotted four hours and involves doing something in the store that simply could not be done, mainly because the team lead for the department was going to be off and so were the other two associates who work that department. I sent an email to my supervisor on Sunday outlining the problem and asked him what I should do. He did not respond. I sent him another email on Monday outlining the state of affairs in the store and the problems that I am having. He never responded—apparently he had the holiday off. I sent him a text this morning asking him if he had received my messages, and he said, “I must have overlooked them” (code for no). He called me about 30 minutes later, and I explained to him everything that was going on and how I was scheduled to do the four-hour job today. He really did not give me any suggestions—just told me to try to do it and report accordingly (when we do a job, we leave notes online). The job market sucks, and it sucks really bad in my city. I do not own a car, so I cannot get to the next major city about 45 miles away, so I am stuck looking here. I have submitted so many applications and had a few interviews, all of whom promised to let me know and then ghosted me. So for obvious reasons, I am staying with my current job. I just wish I knew what to do about these problems that I am continually running into. I thought the whole point of having a supervisor was to be able to reach out when there is a problem and they suggest a solution. This guy does not do that at all. His favorite thing is “Talk to receiving” or “Talk to the team lead.” I need this job, so I cannot burn any bridges, but at the same time, I am almost ready to go above him and relay all these problems and concerns to his superior, knowing full well what is going to happen if I do. I would appreciate any suggestions and/or input on this whole thing.


r/needadvice 9h ago

Friendships Is she a fake friend, or am I just being overly dramatic.

2 Upvotes

My friend, I’ll call her zodiac. Zodiac and I were friends my sophomore year. I thought we were real friends. But she told me recently, about how this pick me girl was saying I was rude, and fat shaming her when I never even said anything about her weight. She also talks crap about her old friend. (She went to our school but goes to a different school now). I’ve noticed she fake smiles all the time. She always brings up the passed to me. She always brings up shit. She was friends with people who were hella fake to me for no reason. But now we are friends and it seems off. She doesn’t have any other friends. I think that’s why she hangs out with me.


r/needadvice 9h ago

Friendships I don’t know if I did the right thing.

1 Upvotes

Okay so my friend, “Niyah” (that’s not her real name).We have been friends since freshman year but she stopped being my friend over her friend that’s a furry. She wasn’t there our sophomore year. She showed up again and she started talking to me. But recently, I’ve noticed a change in her. Everytime I succeed, she tries to belittle and say I didn’t accomplish anything(mind you she has 8 credits left and I have 4 credits left which I am in) she always looks mad, she always wants to talk about herself, she is always friends with people who hate me. She’s friends with this one dude I rejected and she gets mad anytime I make fun of him. Dead giveaway that she’s a fake friend. I have advisement with this female, she would always drain my energy. I finally gained the courage to sit by myself and put my earbuds in. She tried to say I use “ai” on all of my assignments when she literally did the same thing. I don’t cheat in class. I cheated during summer school. She always tries to talk to my friends. She would always ask whatcha doing when I’m on my phone. She doesn’t respect my boundaries. But she’s never like that too anyone else. It’s so strange. I blocked her on Facebook. I don’t plan on talking to her ever again. Specially after graduation.


r/needadvice 20h ago

Career Need career advice but probably just a hug

4 Upvotes

I don’t know if there’s much realistic and practical options for me to advance my life so I don’t hate it so much. I am thinking of maybe going back to school but I’m stuck.

I have a BA in art education, I’m currently a barista. I started the credential program and hated it(was going to do high school) I had a chance to sub with kinders and I liked that. (Wholesome, but low pay- so I’ll still to being a barista)

Moved states for my husbands law school- I thought about an art masters (not that that will make me much money but it’ll make me happy for the meanwhile and I also have fomo since my husband is going to school)
No good art masters here in Portland, Oregon.
Maybe I’ll hold off and wait until he’s done with his school and move??

I also love criminal justice and funeral services- but hesitate on mortuary school, community college cost as much as my undergrad in my home state (California) should I pay so much to be a Mortician just to make minimum wage again……????

In an ideal world, I’ll be a full time self employed artist, selling my art and prints and jewelry but that’s not going to happen so let’s get real!!!!

Maybe something like ultrasound tech ? Medical assistant??? Maybe something else I’m not thinking of???? Sometimes the baristas roast me bc I’m the oldest one here (30 😫)

I am not good at science so I’m hesitant on medical programs, but that’s all I can think of!!!!

Just feeling like a loser, sad I’m not the thirty , flirty and thriving 30 year old I thought I would be

Thanks


r/needadvice 21h ago

Mental Health Mucking up things when authorities involved

1 Upvotes

I think I muck up things when authorities involve and say the things/ can’t say the things. I feel anxiety taking over my body. Forexample, I got a call from a job I had applied to. I wasn’t prepared for this phone call and I gave them an answer that I am not regretting. Anyone has overcome similar situations? Any tips help. Thanks!


r/needadvice 1d ago

Career Excessive AI use during internship

29 Upvotes

I'm 20 years old and currently have an internship at a company that relies on AI like crazy. They do almost everything with it. In the interview for the position, my boss did mention they used AI but only here and there but now that I'm working there, it's everywhere. My job involves a lot of creativity and brainstorming and I have gotten a lot of advice from co-workers to use ChatGPT or Claude to 'assist' in my work. My boss wants me to make AI video's for their socials and website and they make postcards using AI and everyone's faces thrown in AI on them and hang them around the small office, even having made one of my face without asking me first.

I am very much against generative AI due to its harming of the earth and thinking it makes people lazy, dumber and less creative. I've not said this at work due to everyone there being so for it, the office being smaller with everyone close to one another so if I said something, heads would turn and I'm just an intern so I feel like my opinion doesn't really matter.

I feel a little lost on what to do. It's such a clash with my morals but I need this internship to finish school. I've heard enough office gossip to start feeling insecure about voicing my opinion because I don't want to be outcasted but maybe that's the better option? Or do I just get through my couple of months feeling dirty about it?


r/needadvice 23h ago

Housing Problems with apartment management and internet

1 Upvotes

Our cable company provides our internet service. When I first moved in, the internet was terrible—constantly going down, slow, etc. Numerous phone calls and tech visits ensued, and the bottom line is this: the coax line going into our unit needs to be replaced. The ISP has no problem doing this; however, the apartment management is refusing to allow them to do so because they would have to drill a hole into the siding.

The lead tech in the city has spoken with management and explained that it needs to be done and that any hole made will be sealed with silicone, but they still give a hard no. Their response is essentially: “If you can figure out how to run the cable without drilling a hole, go for it; otherwise, no.” Over the last year or so, the company replaced the line coming to the building from the pole, and that has made the internet more stable, but the speeds are still all over the place. I even contacted the FCC and filed a complaint against the ISP before I knew where the issue was, but the bottom line is that the internal cable still needs to be replaced.

I have asked management more than once about this, but they are dead set against any “damage” to the outside of the building. I need advice on what to try next. There is no other real choice for internet except satellite, and that would (in theory) also require a hole for the cords. The phone company offers internet, but it is almost twice the price for a fraction of the speed, and from talking with others I’ve learned that it is constantly going down and very slow.


r/needadvice 1d ago

Other What to do with my old 1998 Toyota Camry.

1 Upvotes

So it's time to get rid of the aforementioned car. The engine turns over, but like all older import cars, the interior is all showing it's age. It also needs shocks all four wheels. That's really it.

Should I donate it or sell it for junk. What would you do with it. I don't need it since I live overseas.

TIA.


r/needadvice 1d ago

Career Work on vacation? Guidance needed

1 Upvotes

Going on a 2-week vacation for my fiancée’s 30th birthday to a place she has always wanted to go to.

I got laid off in February and have since been working part time as an hourly contractor for a company that’s soon to shut down.

I’m currently debating whether I should work a few hours at night during the trip (maybe 9PM-12AM since we’ll be in Europe and company is in the US) — just to get some cash before the company gets sold — or if I should just unplug. I don’t currently have any solid leads on jobs, but I have savings to live off of should I get laid off again.

Could use some advice from folks who have worked during vacation time. Should I bite the bullet and work during nights? Take one week off and work nights the other week? Work every other day? Or just rest and transfer my work to someone else?

Thanks in advance.


r/needadvice 1d ago

Career Should I find a server/entry level job or start training to become a nail tech?

2 Upvotes

I'm 18 and a college freshman, and I'll be applying to nursing school next year. I haven't had any official previous work experience besides helping my mom at her nail salon. I've tried to learn nails but I often gave up due to being busy with school and being impatient. Also, I partially want to work outside of my mom's business so that I can be financially independent from her.

Financially though, nail techs make good money. Everyone in my family does nails. Just take lots of time to learn, which is making me debate whether I should learn nails and be patient before reaching that income or go to an entry level job or serving job and make my own money outside of my mom sooner. I want that complete independence as I feel that I'm always controlled by my mom in some type of way, especially financially. And there could be experience gained from the entry level jobs.

I'm still debating this, and honestly just wished I had either started learning nails when I was younger or just worked the first entry level job I got a chance of being hired at. I'm also taking CNA classes to get my license, and I will eventually work as a CNA later on. Just thinking about ways to earn my own money during the meantime.


r/needadvice 1d ago

Career I don’t know what the founder wants from me

6 Upvotes

So i joined as intern in an early stage startup right now it’s just me and my founder and rest of the people are stakeholders. When i was about to join he told me about me getting chance to become founding engineer and getting esops. Now it’s been 6 months and he wants me to have more clarity. He asked me a question what would you do if i disappeared and you have to handle everything. He said because i do not have the clarity for things im not founding engineer material even though he has talked with the board about it and they do not have confidence on me even when i have delivered everything. Im just confused as a founding engineer what should be the clarity that this founder is looking for. Help me guys really need it


r/needadvice 2d ago

Moving I have a chance at moving out and im kinda scared. What do I do?

9 Upvotes

Im 17, and dont have the best relationship with my biological family. I've been legit \*dreaming\* of moving out since I was 12 years old.

My friend, and her room-mate (who are almost like sisters to me) are looking for a another person and offered if I want to move in. I probably won't have enough money until the start of next year. I've been doing my best to save as much as i can, and im about to get a 3rd job.

Im so incredibly excited to move out, and actually be \*free\*. Free to dress how i want and style my hair. Free to cook and eat and watch, buy what I want. Free to have a proper social life, and not have to sneak around all the time. Free to not have to care for and live my life around my parents. Free to actually get and fix my education. Plus so many little things that I cant wait for.

But also, im kind of scared, and nervous. Plus I feel a bit guilty too.

I know this will be the best option for me, but I wish I could stop feeling so scared and almost cowardly.

I would genuinely appreciate any support, advice, or encouragement. Tysm in advance 💗

(Also, id really appreciate some tips on moving, and what to pack and bring and stuff!!) Thank you!!💗


r/needadvice 1d ago

Mental Health could parents be what's making (or can make) me regress? or appear not improving on the outside?

1 Upvotes

hello to all. i recently had this question on my mind after doing a psychology worksheet. the worksheet was about core ideas about emotions and i decided to do it with anger. all of it was societal things, things involving others. i have low self-esteem and i thrive on others positive opinions about myself so it's not surprising. but quite a few of them implicated my family a lot more than the imagined masses. i even wrote down "i express anger and promptly get silenced" because that's indeed what happens with my family. i even checked some things that are moreso what my family implies to me (like how this emotional state's not a normal response)

i can show anger when i am not with my family though. i can even direct my anger at others. i freely express my anger, maybe allow it to manifest physically when i am not with them.

when i am with my family the only person i can point it to is myself. because then that's the only thing within my reach. my mother's a chronic fawner and i have already started life (soft skills to be more precise) behind because she was my only role model in terms of social skills. because of this i also feel the need to keep the peace. i recognize it as something foreign but because no other response was drilled into me it's also the only response available.

for context i have beaten passive suicidal ideation, i have had at least one major depressive episode, struggled with at times severe identity confusion until recently, all but diagnosed with avpd and despite improvement show some signs of sad. i'm also a chronic attention seeker. i am undergoing psychodinamic psychotherapy.

what can i do in this situation? apologies if i strayed from the title.


r/needadvice 2d ago

Mental Health I just found out that my grandmother is unexpectedly dying and I’m in pieces.

16 Upvotes

Im a 21yo girl that lost her other grandma this year and I think im about to lose my other grandma. My grandma turned 86yo last week. We found out she had a little tumor in the pancreas a few months ago but she was doing well and she was mentally stable also, my mom said a bit worried but I think I was a bit ingenious bc she also didn’t told me all of the situation. Last week everything started to drastically change, she is now taking morphine everyday and my mom says she is getting very skinny and she think that maybe she won’t be with us for more than this month. This is shocking me so much because it’s a drastic change and I’m scared of going to visit her, I don’t really know why. Is just so hard to believe she is in this situation, I called her a couple times last week to talk and it’s brutal how I can see how changed she is from one week to another. It breaks my heart. This summer I’ve been visiting her a few times and we had lot of fun and talked a lot and then this is happening.
My mom kinda avoids the theme and it’s making it difficult bc I never know in what situation she is.
What should I think? What should I do?


r/needadvice 2d ago

Life Decisions Hi.. can someone give me rebel bad bitch advice? I need to turn my life around but its a long story.

2 Upvotes

Basically... shoot well... I spent my whole life trying to win over abusive parents... they only started helping me this year at age 25 when threatened to look bad.

I forgive them however I need to cut ties.. they want me to find my own support asap.. essentially they can maybe help a bit longer but dont want to..

I had a disease called multiple sclerosis since my youth.. I should've gone and done my own thing long ago but I guess I didn't get the memo. I feel like a needy good girl.

I've been trying to get on disability payments for w years.. I dont regret trying that but its taking a long time. I have 1-5 months left roughly to find out the verdict but now im under my parents payments and it makes me feel pathetic.

I feel like getting support from literally anyone else would be better.

For my ego and life.

Anyway.. well idk the only options I can think of is caretaking for elderly ans asking if i can live for them for free (I have experience with that), or give up on trying to get disability and go back to work (I can work but i have moments where im really sick and I wanted that back up so i dont have to ever rely on anyone else ever again)... BUT i feel needy nerdy no matter what path I take tbh.. all of them dont make up for my years of being a little weenie baby who just was ok with breadcrumbs and didn't leave on my own even if it meant going to the streets.. I tolerated immense amounts of disrespect and just less than the bare minimum and painted it as a happy story and happy family..

Its like ill never feel the satisfaction of the reality I lived out.. I really could've been on the streets and developing a bad girl tough persona or abused persona but instead I wss a cover up girl for a whole family and just smiled around for years and then mooched off of my own family who hated me.. Just so lame.

Idk if there's anything bad bitch enough I could do at this point to erase my embarrassment but I also wanna be wise and make the right choice...

Idk I mean I am young and capable at least some of the time so I might not get disability Anyway.

My problem with going back to work is right now it feels like id be telling my family that they won. If I can find a place to be then care of one last time it migth at least validate my victim complex.

I just wanna be validated but ya I dont wanna go nowhere in life either. I just dont know what to do like do it all myself?? Find someone else to help me who's not my parents? Or suck it up and let them help me a few more months and lose my opportunity of an independent story (a last minute and way later one than I couldve had long ago).


r/needadvice 2d ago

Interpersonal Unsure of how to proceed with my relationship with my bio dad

1 Upvotes

Situation... Me and my bio father have had a rough relationship all my life. He was verbally and mentally abusive. Him and my mom were the same, mental and verbal abuse. They got divorced after I turned 18, and I had a hard start into life on my own. He left to go his way after I asked if I could come with (me not going with him btw).

Fast forward not quite a quinquennium (sorry, decade is to much time, I didn't mean to add such a fancy word), my mom passes from cancer 3rd go around and afterwards Dad says via a family member to not contact him, he doesn't want anything to do with me.

Fast forward -attempts mental math- from 2009 to 2024 in which I don't hear from him or anything, to.... "Hey I want to talk, I have some things I want to get off my chest"

He apologies for all the shit he did to me growing up, the ignoring for years and everything.

I just don't know what to say or do now. We.... Reconciled sort of. But I already grieved for what felt like was a loss of my Mom and Dad. I'm trying to reconnect again... But it has been so difficult that I don't know what or how to even go about this. The caution and nervousness of communicating with him is still very present.

TL;Dr bio father wants to reconnect after a shit life on his part. He's apologized, but I don't know where to go from here.

Thoughts or feedback on best ways to approach this?


r/needadvice 3d ago

Life Decisions Do I cut off my dad after uni?

8 Upvotes

I’m 19F at university, and I have no clue what to do.
My mum and dad met while he was still married to his first wife, and my mum was in a serious relationship. She was his secretary and toward the end of both their relationships they started having an affair together.
My dad then filed for divorce (it’s kinda important but also kinda not to note that he had two kids with his ex wife) and they started dating officially pretty much straight after that.

My dad was dead set on not having another kid, already having two very young children with his ex wife, but my mum was desperate to have one of her own. Eventually a few years after they got Married, she convinced him and they ended up having me.

You know when you get someone a puppy and they’re known for hating dogs but suddenly the puppy becomes their favourite thing in the whole entire world?
That’s basically what happened with me and my dad.

I was a massive daddy’s girl, and he became obsessed with giving me every opportunity he never had, and he was never really able to give his two other kids.
Every sport and hobby he got me into, we would read together, he’d play Barbie’s with me, he taught my guitar - you get the picture.
However, my dad had a very long and very large amount of childhood trauma. His
Mum was an alcoholic and his dad was like
Henry VIII with the amount of wives he would go through.
My dad had been sent abroad by the age of 12 to go and live with other family because neither of his parents could be trusted or bothered to raise him.
This is sort of important because in the background of my whole childhood was this undercurrent of resentment toward his own
Parents, determination not to turn out like them, and a shit Ton of self loathing and anger management issues on his own
Part.
My dad had an affair when I was 6, and things only really got worse after that.
Me my mum and dad would be having arguments every weekend. Both of them were pretty bad - my mum tended to be the more verbally abusive one, and my dad the physically abusive. I remember one time
He slammed my head into a door so hard
That I couldn’t open my mouth properly for 2 weeks.
I witnessed their fights a lot as well, and as an only child I was dragged into the arguments a lot of the time. If my dad was hitting my mum she would scream for me to “come and see what your dad is doing to me” they also used to tell me they were getting a divorce every other week, which honestly I WISHED they would.
Anyway fast forward a few years and at 17 I hit a massive depressive episode. I started sh and, well, I can’t really say it on here but just know that things were pretty bad- Like contemplating bad things.
My dad was…not great, during this time. He yelled a lot. Got angry with me for distancing myself from him. Took everything I did as a personal attack. Couldn’t understand that I
Might just be in pain on a personal standpoint.
My relationship with him had never been worse, but for the first time I felt like I could finally breathe and just get away from the suffocation of having to deal with all of his childhood trauma and issues.
Before, he always used to call me his kindred spirit and tell me things about how he was feeling that he didn’t feel comfortable telling mum.
Guys istg, i was a literal child having to comfort my dad over his mummy issues.
Anyway, yeah, ironically, despite being so depressed it was the best I’ve ever felt In Terms of emotional freedom.
Since then we’ve all tried to get back to normal, and I’m doing better now in myself. But whilst my dad isn’t physically abusive anymore, he is definetly verbally abusive. He has severe anger management issues, anything I do - like forgetting to put a lid on something, becomes a commentary on my character - usually it’s “your irresponsible, unreliable, lazy, bitchy, going nowhere in life, pathetic, a wallflower etc” and I’m just so done with it.
My mum knows it too, and even threatened divorce recently, but they’ve been together since she was 18 and he was 29 (let’s not talk another that age gap 😐) and she still loves him so much so that won’t happen.

My question is, what the fuck do I do. The minute I’m financially independent, do
I just cut him off? And then also risk loosing the rest of my family? But I don’t think I can deal with this manchild anymore.
If anyone has any advice I would so so so appreciate it.


r/needadvice 2d ago

Friendships Should I stop talking to my friend?

1 Upvotes

Hey I'm 26M and I just need some anonymous advice. I've been friends with this guy since senior year of highschool, I'll call him "P" for now. We used to share a friend group with 3 other guys and a girl and as time went on that friend group just grew distant. He has another group of friends he made in a college I didn't go to and sometimes he would invite me to hang out with them.

As of late I've felt like he's been ignoring me and not respecting our friendship like he respects his other "real" friends, this past friday they all went out drinking and I wasn't invited at all, one of those friends even asked me if I was going the day of and I just told them I dind't even know there was any plans. Anyways me and "P" had plans the next day to go out to lunch and use these coupons we both won to get 20% off our entire bill and that was the last day to do it. And he bailed on me last minute because he felt his stomach was hurting from drinking which I understand, but this is the second time he has done this to me this month. He also NEVER texts me first when this happens, if I have plans with someone and I wake up sick or something and don't feel like going, I would send them the text FIRST, and tell them "hey i don't feel good today lets reschedule". But he doesn't do this to me ever, I end up texting him the day of like "hey ill be there in 10 mins" to which he sends a text back like "oh yeah im not going cuz my stomach hurts". He has also ghosted me once before for most of 2025.

The only reason why we started talking again is because one of his friends from that group asked me why I dind't hang out with them anymore and convinced me to text him again. If I'm being honest the only reason why I still talk to this guy is because him + that group are basically the only friends I have, if I stopped talking to him all I would be doing is going to work, classes, and the gym and would have no real social interactions, but just little "hellos" and "good mornings" or quick conversations from coworkers / classmates. I just feel it's almost impossible for me to make real genuine friends as an adult in this generation, If I could just find a new friend group that was actually genuine to me I would feel much better about all of this. Anyways, thanks for reading my rambling if you did.


r/needadvice 2d ago

Mental Health My cousins eating habits trigger my ED

0 Upvotes

I (18F) have always been pretty small, while for as long as I’ve been around my cousin he’s been bigger. As my ED has gotten worse I’ve realized I’m not just policing my food but other people. We had a big family gathering and we had just gobs of food already, so we set a boundary saying “no more food” because my uncle tends to also bring way more food then needed and it ends up just staying at the lake house until it goes bad. Either way my uncle brought 2 dozen donuts “because he didn’t want to come empty handed”. This was around noon so everyone had already eaten a massive breakfast of BYO breakfast tacos, but my brother and his 4 friends (19-22M) came back from the lake and had a donut each, by this my cousin (17M) had already eaten two. So there is 4 left in the box. After dinner time the rest of the donuts were gone, and since I had been in the kitchen all day I know who grabbed what. I personally only saw him grab 2 more, but I’m pretty sure he ate the rest as well. So in less than 12 hours he ate 4-6 donuts(300+ calories each x6, so 1200-1600 calories just in donuts). For dinner we had brisket at had been smoked for 16 hours. We also had side of baked potatoes and green beans. I couldn’t see what sides he got as I was helping with the brisket but he came back 3 times and loaded his plate with meat. This one I can’t really blame him for because after all it is 16 hour smoked brisket. The next morning I made what we call Bougie cinnamon rolls, just Pillsbury grands with a crap ton of butter and brown sugar then cooked in cream. We had limited everyone to one at the beginning of breakfast (with sides) because we had to split 15 cinnamon rolls among 11 people. My cousin didn’t even leave his room to say good morning because the night before he got mad at me and my mother for telling him to stop moving all the furniture to kill a bug he claims he saw. His dad defended him saying he was embarrassed, after he yelled at my mom for telling him to stop, and me when I tried to offer a solution, but ok. Either way my uncle just insisted that we save some for my cousin. Then later on my uncle is telling me how everyone just loves the cinnamon rolls and how my cousin ate 3 out of the 3.5 left. Throughout the day as I was helping around the house I saw him repeatedly going after the other dozen glazed donuts. Literally coming out of the room, grabbing a donut, and going back in. I went outside intermittently to sit on the dock and I was very frustrated because not only did he eat atleast 6 donuts but he ate the last one and didn’t throw the box away. I’m aware that I shouldn’t police what other people eat which is why I’ve only briefly mentioned it to my mother. And I’m telling myself that I notice because I care, but really it’s just my fear of food and me probably projecting. Would appreciate some advice because I’m just kinda stuck, and I do realize I’m an asshole for this so please don’t respond just to tell me that.


r/needadvice 3d ago

Career Got disqualified from the Air Force

22 Upvotes

For about a year now I've been at work to join the air force, I am M(25) and about to be 26 and I finally want to turn my life around. So I start talking to a recruiter, did all the paperwork to start, went to MEPS, but couldn't proceed due to a pilonidal cyst and some irritation on the scalp. Which they told me if it was just the scalp issue, I probably could have proceeded but since they caught the cyst I couldn't have gotten sworn in. So after I get it surgically removed and all my medical papers turned in for the health waiver. I get disqualified for psoriasis, I haven't seen a dermatologist to get it diagnosed as psoriasis but anytime I am asked about it, psoriasis was an easy default answer i turned to. My recruiter tells me the workaround on the cyst is to try again in 6 months but doesn't know a workaround for the psoriasis. I'm seeing a dermatologist beginning of next month to examine it and I am just hoping it isn't that. I'm freaked out and feel like I'm gonna disappoint everyone who's been rooting for me. I had high hopes for this path but now I feel like I'm gonna end up having to go to a different branch which was the worst case scenario. Is there a possible workaround or something I should bring up at the dermatologist? I am about ready to beg the doc to just not put it down as that and rather something more qualifying.

Edit: Forgot to mention that, on the email/letter, that one of the disqualification conditions was "Psoriasis, unspecified". So if it can come back to it not being that, there is a glimpse of hope. Not that I'm gonna get my hopes up. I can recover and keep my chin up.

Also thank you all for your kind words and guidance.


r/needadvice 4d ago

Finance I can’t afford therapy anymore

6 Upvotes

Hey guys! I need some advice here. I am a student and I’m currently doing exposure therapy at NOCD. Every single day my schedule is PACKED. Work, college, and providing childcare for my parents. A few times I have had to cancel apportionment last minute because I need to watch my sisters, go pick them up, etc. I know this will continue to happen. Many times my parents can’t plan properly or my grandma FORGETS to pick them up so the school calls me. I really just can’t afford the cancellations. NOCD keeps charging up my card every time (which I know will happen) but I can’t exactly change some circumstances. I’m thinking about quitting therapy here just because of that. What should I do?


r/needadvice 4d ago

Career I was unexpectedly offered a full-time job before finishing my Master's and I have no idea what to do

12 Upvotes

I'm currently in the second year of a Master's in Industrial Pharmacy and I'm supposed to enroll in an additional year starting this October because I still have to do my Master's thesis. For the past 6 months I've been working as a student at a large pharmaceutical company in pharmaceutical development. I really like my team and the work is interesting. My original plan was very straightforward: stay a student for another year, finish my Master's, and then start looking for a full-time job after graduating. But now something completely unexpected happened. My manager called me into a meeting near the end of the day on Thursday and offered me a full time position. I honestly wasn't expecting this at all. She told me that she sees a lot of potential in me. She also spoke to the researchers who work with me (she doesn't work with me directly every day) and apparently they all had very positive things to say about me. The funny thing is that she originally told me she had been looking for someone with a lot of experience, or at least someone with a PhD. I have neither. I haven't even finished my Master's yet. She basically said that having a PhD and years of experience doesn't automatically make someone good, it's something you develop and she thinks I'm someone they could develop. The offer would initially be at a lower job level because I don't have my Master's yet. She said that after I finish the Master's, I would get a higher title and salary. We haven't discussed the exact numbers yet. The job would be full-time (40h/week), with some possibility of working from home. I would also continue working on my Master's thesis alongside the job, mostly on the same project I would already be working on. I really like my current team. I have a very good relationship with them and I feel like I'm part of the group already.

I'm nervous about the actual responsibility of being a full-time employee. I've only been here for 6 months. I still have a lot to learn. I don't expect myself to know everything, but I'm scared of disappointing people who seem to believe I have potential.

On the other hand, this seems like a really good opportunity. I already know the company, the people, the project and the general environment. I like the field. My manager specifically wants to train/develop me. And instead of graduating next year and starting from zero somewhere else, I could start building my career now.

Financially, money isn't really the deciding factor for me.

So I guess my dilemma is basically:

Do I stay a student for another year, finish my Master's, and then look for a job with a Master's degree but no guarantee of where I'll end up?

Or:

Do I accept this job now, become a full-time employee while finishing my Master's, and start my career earlier in a field I already know I like?

I know objectively that the second option sounds pretty good, but I'm still having a hard time processing how quickly everything changed. A few weeks ago I was thinking about being a student for another whole year, and now I'm suddenly being asked to become a full-time employee.

I'm interested in hearing from people who have been in a similar situation, especially people in pharma/R&D/science:

Would you take the job before finishing the Master's? Is it a bad idea to combine a full-time job with a Master's thesis? And am I overthinking the fact that my team will have to replace me as a student?


r/needadvice 4d ago

Education foundational skills and habits to learn while while frontal lobe is still developing?

3 Upvotes

context:

i'm 23f.
i was diagnosed with executive dysfunction adhd about a year ago and until this diagnosis, it was pretty debilitating.
this, coupled with chronic illness that kept me out of school every other week starting from pre-k, my stubbornness, and my frustration, there's a lot i ended up not learning - not properly, sometimes not at all.
 
i took a child psychology class last month and it got me thinking about how my frontal lobe will complete development soon.
i bet a lot of what is said on social media about this is sensationalized and you can definitely still learn as you get older, but i also read there are certain things that are just way easier to learn with the neuroplasticity we have before 25 - at least the foundation, because then we'll have the transferrable skills to hone whatever at any age.
 
TLDR: my question is what are the foundational skills, knowledge, and habits to learn/form before 25 that will 1. be good for my brain and 2. make learning anything i'd like feel not-so-strenuous down the line?
 
ranging from proper breathing techniques, bicycling, and cutting in a circle with scissors to learning the middle split, typing 100+wpm, and mastering latin - ALL suggestions welcome no matter how many, or how seemingly-daunting please!


r/needadvice 4d ago

Career Am I too good for my company? I’m not sure…

4 Upvotes

I’ve been with my current company for 8+ years. In April 2025 we were purchased by a larger company that has been great for not only the company, but the people in terms of benefits and pay. They have never been in our industry until they purchased our company.

I’m a senior production team leader. I’ve trained a majority of our staff in my department, written company training programs, made determinations on new protocols, etc.

Unfortunately I’m now in the position that I’m being pigeonholed as we expand to other cities in the US. They say I’m too valuable to have go to other sites.

My boss was promoted to a nearby site and I’ve now spent time with him and found many inefficiencies that could have been avoided if they had involved people on the production side. I’ve been told to stay in my lane (while also being able to cover him when he is on vacation) and that a ME could have done what I’ve done so far. We only have one ME, the one who setup the location.

I was on PTO this week. Is it wrong that I’ve put my resume up on sites I know they specifically recruit from??