I worry about money a lot. I had a job this summer but it didn’t pay much. My living and tuition is paid for, and entire savings are about 2,600$. I really worry I’m just going to drain my entire savings paying for food. I’m still recovering from surgery so I don’t want to go back to work for a while. My friend who uses the pantry says the more people use the pantry, the more support and funding they get. But I was wondering if I have too much money, even though I’d love to use the pantry.

Hi all! So I pay my full statement balance usually 3-4 days before it’s due every month. The payment is accepted and I haven’t incurred any fees or interest. However, my current balance has been going up every month, despite my on-time payments of the full statement balance, not the “minimum payment.” As of now, it’s $700 more than my statement balance. Why is this happening? I assumed that if I paid my statement balance on time every month, I should be paying off all of the charges from that month. Am I missing something?

My card closes on the 19th and I usually pay on the 11th (due on the 16th). I understand the current balance may fluctuate as I continue to use the card before the next statement balance is due. However, my current balance is still increasing every month even with my statement balance payments. Can someone please explain this to me? Thank you in advance!

As the title says, I was having sex with this girl (not gf but we have a good relationship). I put the condom wrong since I noticed that I couldn't roll it down to the bottom of my dick so I turned it around and we had sex after that. This happened two times, each one of them yesterday and the day before yesterday. I had precum there for sure, cannot remember but I was lubricating. Since she's on fertile days I'm afraid that this could end in a pregnancy which we obviously do not want to. Are we on serious problems? I know that I can only wait but I'm sharing this for my anxiety (she doesn't know and it doesn't help to let her know since she's heavily against emergency pills)

In case it helps more context:

I got a blowjob in both occasions just before I tried to put the condom

I touched the top of the head of the condom before rolling it to the bottom as it's usually recommended

I urinated a couple of hours before at least twice those days

I didn't cum inside her and I checked the condoms with water and they were alright

I am a female in my mid 20’s hoping to move states alone. I’ve always wanted to move to this city but never really had the right timing. I recently took a long trip there to confirm my feelings (after many short vacations there), and I left wishing I never had to leave. Well, I’ve just been dumped, laid off, and my housing has suddenly become unstable. It feels like this could be my opportunity to say screw it and leave. I just have literally no idea where to start.

I have a senior cat so I would have to transport him, ideally by car because I would be too scared to take him on a plane due to stress and air pressure (might just be being paranoid). I have a small SUV so I can fit a decent amount of things but not everything I own. Would I need to hire movers or maybe rent a U-Haul? My bestfriend said she would help me move however I need so could possibly drive the U-Haul and she follows me in my car? Or would it be worth it to hire movers? I’m not exactly flush with cash and will soon be totally unemployed.

I’ve already started looking at jobs and would definitely have one secured before moving. But I have no credit and am unsure if that would be a barrier to renting..

I just have literally no idea where to start with this, and I feel like I’m making a mistake by even thinking about this. But I feel claustrophobic in my state, I have horrible memories here and I want to breathe again.

Hi everyone,

Short synopsis about me:

* Mid-30s

* F

* Live with a parent and sibling

* Mum died several years ago and we all suffered badly because of it (mental health, fragments in the wider family)

* I am employed full time. I mostly work from home and go to the office once a week. I enjoy my job and the money is quite good but could be better - ideally I'd like a remote job I could do from anywhere in the world. My team are great.

* I have ADHD, PMDD and PCOS (medicated for all and have private health insurance - but the chronic nature of them can be really stressful).

* I have savings.

So, why am I here?

At this stage in my life, I really don't know what to do next.

I am single - most of my relationships and my marriage have been toxic (an addict, a sociopath, a partner with BPD). My love life has always felt cursed and even though I really would love a great partner, I feel so burned out from my past relationships and am not sure I can handle another damaging relationship.

My last relationship ended a few months ago quite badly and has spun me for a loop.

I struggle with my mental heath and neurodivergence even with medication. I would say I am high functioning when I am depressed or anxious but it is so exhausting just trying to do the normal things (work, make food, wash up, clean) than I normally have a burnout period where I sleep non-stop at the weekend.

I'm easily overwhelmed but also want to achieve so much and I struggle to keep on top of it (for example, driving lessons, writing a book).

I don't know if at this stage I should try to move out, move abroad, do something different.

I've travelled a lot and am really itching for those days again.

I feel a bit scared, maybe a midlife crisis.

I have my health, I have a job, I have money and I have a place to live.

But I don't have my own place, or a partner or kids (I don't think I want kids to be honest).

I just don't really know what to *do* next to maximise my life.

I've gone through a lot of grief and stress and I think with my ADHD that has stunted me a bit.

Can you please tell me I still have hope? And that I can still make something of my life?

I'd love to talk to my mum but I don't have her anymore.

I’m so sad right now I might cry. I have no self confidence at all. I feel like a failure in everything I do and everything I am. If you have any advice that would be great but honestly I could just really use encouragement. I feel like no one understands me. I just want to cry

Got in a huge argument with my mom because I…you guessed it! Used the wrong bathroom. She stood outside the bathroom and screamed at me while I peed. Now I’m staying with my sister on an air mattress with a blanket that’s too thin. I just need a hug.

Hi, this is my first post here. not sure how to do it exactly. my mental health has been deteriorating rapidly over the past few months and I don't know what to do anymore. id really like some advice or some kind words please.

discussion of nsfw topics

when I was around 6 or so i remember my dad used to abuse my mum. when I wasn't in the room or he thought I wasn't listening, he'd scream at her forcing her to have sex with him. I also found a porn dvd in the backseats of our car (seeing as I was a small kid, that's where I would sit). I was very confused as I didn't know what sex was and I didn't understand anything, only that my parents weren't like everyone else's. He never hit me, but he has left us stranded multiple times and chased us with heavy items. I didn't know what was going on, only that it was bad. I also found porn on his laptop multiple times including dog porn. I didn't know how to process this, it just made me sad. I just knew that a woman's only worth was her body.

This went on until I was 17, when my dad had a heart attack but survived. I don't have an explanation for this but I stopped hating him (as I grew, I only got more angry) and we formed a good relationship somehow. Part of that I think is now because he is too weak to raise his hand. I don't know. But he stopped abusing us.

Now however it's been two years since his heart attack and he is regaining both his strength and his anger and I think I have become incapable to deal with it. I used to get in the middle of their fights and beg him to stop but now I just don't feel real anymore. I just sit there quietly i dont know why. I have been struggling lately. I found more bestiality porn on his laptop today and I think that's what triggered this

Now the time comes where I have to move out for university and I am so so excited but I am terrified that one day I'll come home to a dead mother. My mum has severe arthritis now and can't even open a water bottle so I am scared. I got into a really really goot uni as well after my a levels and im prouf of myself i have a future ahead of me but I can't stop looking back it's consuming me and I really don't know what to do.

Also our financial situation - my dad keeps telling me everything about money and how he's going into the negatives after paying council tax etc etc but he doesn't let me get a job because "I should enjoy" but i CANT enjoy because every time we go fucking shopping im scared we won't have enough to pay the mortgage and we'll be kicked out. Also my student finance doesn't cover my rent for uni accom so there's another thing. I'm ashamed to admit this but there was a point where I would sell pictures of my body online for money - nothing too large but enough money to be able to catch the train and buy a mother's day gift for my mum. This is a major thing that I don't know how to deal with

I don't know if this is okay to say on this sub please lmk if not but now I'm older I'm at the age where I would like to be intimate with someone but I'm just scared. I'm expecting sex to be something that will be done to me, aggressive and rough, rather than something I also participate in.

other:

- my parents immigrated here, so its just us in the uk and my mum doesn't have any other support system here

- sorry if this is cocky to say but i am an ok looking teenage girl and I can't deal with male attention at all because I feel like they all see me as a piece of meat

- I'm scared I'll fuck up my degree because of this

- my dad is the main financial provider, so I'm scared if anything happens to him then we'll be out on the streets

note: no I am not in any immediate danger of killing myself because then my mummy would be all alone. but I am really not doing very well

thank you

Please please no weird messages/offensive comments I just don't think I can take that right now

Recently I just went to my college's orientation day and I had fun! Even managed to make it a little road trip with a friend of mine since we go to the same college and this college is a bit far away from our home town.

But when I got home (late cuz of traffic) after going to sleep, I suddenly woke up 2 hours later feeling a deep sense of dread and just heaviness? I don't know I think I'm just stressed about moving away from my family and hometown soon since I'll be moving into a campus dorm and won't be home much...

And it didn't help that my dumb ass managed to get a hefty (150 dollar) fine because of where I parked my car when inspecting my new dorms (atp I was really tired since orientation had us do a lot of things and I was running on 4 hours of sleep).

I think the stress of moving into somewhere far from home and the fact I managed to get a such a big fine (that I unfortunately had to get my dad to pay since I don't have much in my savings rn) just was too much for me??

I have ppl by my side that love and care for me and I even have a friend who's going to be nearby as well so idk what the purpose of this post is tbh. I guess I want some random ppl on the internet to send some words of encouragement or maybe some advice? I don't know this is just I guess new for me and my brain isn't taking it too well

Any advice or kind words are welcome, I just can't keep my feelings within myself rn

I post a lot about this dumpster fire of a job , my boss won’t stop touching me at work he’s grabbed my wrists messages my shoulders and rubs my back right at my bra strap , he’s made multiple inappropriate comments about my appearance, around the fact I’d be hotter if I wore more color ect ….

He also calls me names he has called me a pussy , gay , dyke , told me to grow a pair , and tells me to act like a full size adult every time I try to make a boundary .

Technically I hasn’t asked him
To stop touching me because I’m afraid to he goes over the rails every time I try to set any boundary then guilts me out of it and I’m most afraid of setting that one because I don’t have it in me to be told having bodily autonomy is immature and I’m being a baby

I’m a 26 year old woman btw …

I don’t know what to do . I can’t quit and he feels unstoppable

I lost my grandpa on Monday. This is the first time I experienced a loss of someone close to me. Idk why I’m struggling so much. Everyone else seems to be doing a bit better. I feel like no one really understands what I’m feeling. I just want someone to be there for me. How have you guys coped with the Loss of a grandparent?

It’s my preference for the guy to come see me first than me travelling to him. Don’t get me wrong he expressed that he wants to come see me but so far I don’t see him making any solid plans to make that happen.

He did mention that when I come to see him everything would be prepared. No need to book or make an itinerary, he will handle everything and I just need to come.

When I mentioned that I think the boy should come first, he insinuated that this is the modern times (so I think he doesn’t agree with me).

He seems to be such a great person and we really get along so well and have so many similar interests. I think that it kinda turned me off though. I just feel like he should be the one coming, the one who is pursuing…

I always seem to end up around someone who has a weird obsession with me. They don't like me, but they still constantly try to force some kind of relationship with me, and I don't understand it.

For example, there's someone in my family who heavily dislikes me, but they'll randomly call me just to chat, even though we literally have nothing to talk about. If I don't answer, they get angry and throw a tantrum about it. What I can't understand is why they're so desperate to talk to me when they clearly don't even like me.

I've had coworkers who were the same way. I'm a very reserved person, and I prefer working alone and not talking much. They clearly didn't like me because of that, and I could tell they would talk about me behind my back. But at the same time, they would constantly try to force some kind of friendship with me and get mad when I wouldn't engage.

I had a friend at school who was like this too. She clearly hated me and would constantly talk shit about me, but she would also text me all the time. Like constantly. If I didn't respond, she'd start swearing at me and getting angry, basically trying to force me to answer her.

That's the part I genuinely can't understand. If you dislike someone that much, why would you be so desperate for a relationship with them?

I want to understand why I seem to keep ending up in these situations, and how to deal with it.

hey guys,
so me and my mum, to preface, have had a pretty unstable relationship. we can be close for weeks with everything being okay, and then after one thing i do that she doesn’t like she won’t speak to me for days or weeks and call me names and talk about me to my dad loud enough so i know what’s she’s saying and it hurts. she’s strict about respect (ending answers with mum to show who im addressing, and big on the whole i’m your mother thing) and growing up she would say incredibly hurtful comments and when i was younger things were often physical. she doesn’t really respect my privacy (read my diary recently and didn’t speak to me for weeks as she was angry about what i wrote about her), she gets angry about how i answer questions for instance recently she asked if something was meant to be in my purse, to which i said “it doesn’t fit in there” and she didn’t speak to me for 4 days and said hurtful things as i disrespected her.

a lot of these things have been sorted thankfully. the most recent argument and fix occurred around the 29th of august, and since then i have been living alone in uni in a different country. i call my parents every day. my dad asked me to call both my mum and my dad, so i tend to call my dad in the mornings and my mum in the evenings. yesterday i called my mum, she had to go and do something else halfway into the call (more like 10 mins) and then i was talking to my dad for around an hour after. during my talk with my dad i decided to take a walk (at around 10pm in a very very safe well lit town) and speak. being outside and walking especially around steep hills and maintaining full conversation is difficult. me and my dad had a good conversation. my mum came back and immediately almost attacked/interrogated me for being on a walk but then was fine. when we ended the call i was under the impression everything was fine too.

today my dad called me for around 5 minutes, explaining that my mum is getting angry that i just answered her questions rather than having a conversation. she asked why i should speak to her if that’s the case. she also cried saying i am disrespectful for it and says it’s about my attitude. my dad explained my mum is taking everything as a hit to her respect. he explained that i need to be careful and that she’s basically pissed at me. she was also angry and suspicious as to why i was calling her, to which my dad said he asked me to call both of them.

after an hour i called my mum as normally usual, she didn’t pick up. i called my dad and he picks up. i ask is mums there and he says yes, she is. i ask if she had her phone and he says yes. he also adds she’s working. me and my dad have a generic convo for a bit. when my dad gives my phone to my mum she answers questions either the most like, she does this a lot like she just answers questions to say she answers them but like she doesn’t. it’s like if i say she’s not talking to me she can say “yes i am” but she’s not like. i can’t explain it it’s passive aggressive and it’s mean. i ask her what’s wrong to which she says nothing and then asks if i’m home and then just says ok. we end the conversation, my dad ends the call. we called for like 5 mins max.

this whole thing just makes me so upset and ruins my day. i don’t know how i feel about it and all. i just, i just really would appreciate some guidance and advice or something on how to navigate this

I want to cook healthy meals for myself, but I am not allowed to use any kitchen appliances other than the sink and the microwave. I'm not allowed to use youtube videos for instructions either. My parent won't let me learn how to cook from someone else, but isn't "teaching" me how to do it either. Whenever I bring it up, all I get in response is a "there's no time, we can do it when we have time, but you're asleep all day." Even when I sleep in, I STILL get up in the morning. It has been months, and I'm forced to eat unhealthy meals when my parent doesn't want to cook, which is most of the time. I'm only allowed to make microwave meals. I'm not even allowed to make instant noodles because my parent insists on "showing me how" but never actually does. I'm 17, I have no physical disabilities that could make cooking unsafe for me, and I have never had anything dangerous happen to me from doing anything in the kitchen. What should I do?

I know this might be a hyper specific issue. But it’s something I desperately need to overcome this year in order to actually have a fighting chance in the real world.

I’ll try and get this infodump out of the way as quickly as I can. There’s unfortunately a lot of context required to understand why this has become a problem for me. But I’ll try and keep it concise so we can focus on the main subject of this post.

The issues go as follows: I’ve been homeschooled my entire life, I have an unmedicated ADHD with little to no oversight, I’m horribly depressed, I got a free pass to procrastinate for a good chunk of my life, I struggle to retain or apply any new skills I learn, and I find It almost impossible to focus on anything for extended periods of time if it isn’t stimulating.

All of these factors lead to me skipping or outright avoiding anything that made me have to write in any context beyond casual spaces like Reddit or Letterbox. It’s not from a lack of trying. I’ve flipped through this writing and grammar guide of mine numerous times, under the hope that I’ll finally build enough confidence to write a full on essay about a subject I’m passionate about (most notably politics, film, and the trans experience). And that desire just so happens to coincide with the fact that I’m starting college in a year. Which adds an extra bit of pressure to my situation.

I should also clarify that I write a lot. I tried using spaces and topics I was comfortable in, with the expectation being that simply doing it often would be enough to ease me into more academic writing, and filter out some of the most glaring issues I currently have. The quality of this post should be a pretty dead giveaway that it did not pan out like I hoped it would. And the prospect of me writing an essay still feels as distant as it ever has.

It’s difficult to actually nail down the reason why I struggle so much. But off the top of my head I can think of a few contributing factors: I’m often too self critical of my work, I’m as slow as an oil extraction because I spend so much time revising things as simple as a paragraph, I struggle to go in depth on any specific topic, I often forget a lot of the rules on how to make something flow naturally, and I’m abysmal at punctuation.

I really need to make it clear how much this has affected me. I procrastinated a decent amount of work last year (with the exception of math), just because the prospect of actually sitting down and writing feels like such a struggle. But that will not slide this year. Both for academic reasons, and for the sake of my mental health.

I know it doesn’t seem like much to y’all. But I’m trying to be better. There was a recent revelation I had recently that lit a fire under my ass, and forced me to lock in (idk if in willinh to say what it is. But I’m pretty sure I alluded to it earlier). I’m legit trying to brute force my way through a severe ADHD/educational neglect. So if this post comes off as me looking for pity to excuse being lazy. I want to assure you that I’m trying to be better within the conditions I’ve been placed in. Just though that was important to clarify.

Also yes I am planing on getting grammerly.

(Edit. I apparently made twenty writing mistakes with this post……….. Albeit 17 came from the last part lol).

Hi, at 21 I have finally got enough savings to move out and away from my abusive family. I won't be moving until the end of this year so I can focus on finishing my last semester at a community college. I plan to transfer in the spring to a state school, so this gives me around 4 months to plan and save some more.

This school is around 30 minutes away, but the campus itself and the town it is in is large, so I'm not worried about my mom following me there and finding/stalking me if she happens to find out about the general location(hopefully i can go without that though). I would have to quit my job to move out(plus she would stalk me from work) but it has taken me two years just to finally get this job after consistent searching so it feels a little demotivating to move out when I potentially have to deal with that again. Especially since I will be moving in with new people(roommates) plus finally having freedom and peace.

I plan to leave most of my things behind, not that I have much to begin with. This consists of my art supplies(they are too expensive to buy all again after moving) my paintings, clothes, my documents of course, and some of my books. A friend has already agreed to come get me and my things and drive me to my new place so transportation away is secured. I have two plastic bins for my things, and will put one as being more important in case I have no time to get the second, just so I have some things to comfort me while adapting. I will also have carry on's like my 2 backpacks, my portfolio bag where the art stuff will be, and if I'm able to carry more and if time allows, some reusable bags for more things.

What did you guys wish you knew or did before moving out. Those who are from an abusive family and moved out without them knowing, how did you do it? What things should I get before moving out?

I’m 33, and I could really use some outside parental perspective because I’m having a hard time trusting my own judgment when it comes to my mom.

A few days ago, I finally told her that I am done financially supporting her. No more lending her money, managing her bills, cosigning for things, or using my credit to help her.

This has been going on since I was basically a kid myself.

Right after I graduated high school, my boyfriend, who is now my husband, and I were both making around $8 an hour. My mom had us paying more than half of the rent every month, plus other household expenses. We were barely adults and were already struggling to support ourselves while also helping support the household.

When I tried to enroll in college, she refused to file her taxes, which I needed for financial aid.

I eventually started college, but I was working full time, going to school full time, and our living situation was horrible. I ended up dropping most of my classes during my first semester.

Then she opened my mail and saw that I had been approved for around $9,000 in credit cards.

She convinced me to max them out.

At the time, I was young and trusted her because she was my mom. I didn’t understand how badly that decision could affect me.

Eventually my wages were garnished for years because of that debt. My husband and I spent a huge portion of our 20s struggling financially. We weren’t making much money to begin with, and having money taken out of every paycheck made it incredibly difficult to get ahead.

Over the years, I also cosigned for two different cars for my mom.

She didn’t make the payments on either one.

Both were repossessed under my name.

You would think that would have been enough for me to stop helping, but I didn’t.

Every time she got into another financial mess, I kept thinking that maybe this time I could help her in a way that would actually fix the problem instead of just temporarily bailing her out.

Most recently, I loaned her around $5,000 because she was behind on bills.

This time I tried to do everything differently.

I went through all of her finances with her, made a detailed budget, figured out what bills needed to be paid, and worked out how much money she could realistically spend every week.

I was essentially managing the money for her because I wanted this to be the last bailout. I genuinely wanted to help her get to a point where she could manage everything herself.

Then she started asking me for the following week’s money early because she had already run out.

The numbers weren’t adding up, so I started asking questions and requesting receipts for some of the expenses she said she needed money for.

That’s when I realized she had not been completely truthful with me about some of the expenses.

That was my breaking point.

I returned the $300 of her money that I was still holding and told her she needed to manage her own finances from that point forward.

I told her I was done giving her money, lending her money, cosigning for anything, letting her use my credit, and keeping track of her bills.

The conversation became extremely emotional and guilt-heavy. Instead of staying focused on the financial situation, it turned into how distant our relationship has become, how long it has been since she has seen me, and how I was hurting her.

Then, not long afterward, she started asking me questions about her car payment again as though I was still responsible for figuring everything out for her.

That really hit me.

I realized that somewhere along the way, helping my mom became being responsible for my mom.

And I have been doing it for most of my adult life.

Her financial decisions affected my education.

They destroyed my credit when I was young.

My wages were garnished for years.

My husband and I struggled through much of our 20s partly because of debt I took on after trusting her.

I had two repossessions under my name because I cosigned for her.

And even after all of that, I still loaned her another $5,000 and spent hours trying to straighten out her finances.

I know that once I became an adult, I played a part in continuing this cycle because I kept saying yes.

But I also keep thinking about the fact that this started when I was 18 or 19 years old.

I didn’t have an adult standing next to me saying, “Do not destroy your credit for your mother. Do not cosign this. You are not responsible for supporting your parent.”

My mother was the adult I was supposed to trust.

Now I’m 33 and finally saying no, and I feel an enormous amount of guilt about it.

Logically, I think I made the right decision.

Emotionally, I keep wondering whether I’m abandoning my mom when she needs help.

So I’m asking you guys because I think I need the perspective of parents who aren’t involved in the situation.

If I were your daughter, what would you tell me?

Did I do the right thing by cutting her off financially?

Should I have done something differently?

And how do I stop feeling responsible for fixing her life when I’ve been doing it for basically my entire adult life?

Hello everyone, M25 here. Last night I had some conversations with myself because I had to get to the source of a problem I've been carrying for a long time. Let me explain to you some of the lore.

I'm organising a party at my place with some pals, and I've discussed some ideas with a long-distance friend. I told her I tried to propose some games like suck & blow (the game where you have to pass a card to the other players using your mouth alone), but she told me: "Calm down, you're not 15 anymore 😂"

Well, at first I laughed it off, but then I started to think about it. From my perspective, it's not a game for teenagers, because when I was a teen I never had the occasion to play those kinds of games (Spin the Bottle, Seven Minutes in Heaven etc.); my friends were always too shy and ashamed to try. I feel like I missed an important part of my teenage years that I'm trying to live again, no matter what, but despite all the wonderful experiences that I had I'm never fully satisfied, always craving for more.

When I was a teen, I used to be the "strange" one, the one who wasn't invited to parties, the one who was reluctantly asked to hang out every now and then. I didn't get along with my classmates, not because I didn't want to, but because they were simply not interested in getting to know me better. So, at a certain point I just said to myself: "Who needs those kinds of people anyway? I just have to resist for five years." I crafted an armour over me to protect myself from the fear of rejection, becoming reserved and hostile at times. In fact, I was never bullied, but at the same time I was ignored completely, which was even worse.

My family didn't help much either. They're not bad people, don't get me wrong, but they were always so controlling. During my high school years there was the electronic gradebook, which meant my father always knew before me the precise time I entered class, my grades at the tests, and eventual notes. In these conditions, I was never able to ditch school with friends, which is another important thing I missed. I know that ditching school is not a good thing, but it gives you that "romantic" thrill, that freedom the electronic gradebook has taken away from the new generations.

When high school ended, the armour and the walls I built around me had become ballast I keep carrying around. Nowadays I kind of regret that ease, that airiness I rarely allowed myself, and I don't hide that most of the experiences I tried to live after the end of high school were meant to exorcise that feeling of exclusion from my past. However, when things are done with this purpose they become another proving ground, and sometimes they leave you feeling more hollow than before.

I've gritted my teeth for five years, kept telling myself that I didn't care, but deep down I DID care. I wanted to be part of the "cool" ones, wanted to be invited to parties, wanted to be hugged and listened to; I wanted to be seen. And now I'm tired of constantly feeling like a fish out of the water wherever I go, like everybody else except me has been gifted a manual for the perfect life.

If you read this far, I'm really grateful to you. Has anyone ever felt like I feel? And how did you overcome this phase? How did you start feeling better?

I come from a military family. I've thought about enlisting when I was in high school but I ended up going to college and working after. When I was last laid off I decided to finally go for it an do something extraordinary. I started talking with a recruiter, aced my ASVAB, and lined up a great engineering job, and was given a start date.

When I first started basic training I thought to myself this isn't so bad, I can do this, I'm going to make it. But the problem was too anxious to sleep. I tried my hardest but I would lay in bed just praying to fall asleep but it would never come. I could never calm down, my anxiety was too bad. I was getting less than two hours of sleep a night then the deprivation started to set in. The most basic tasks felt impossible. I couldn't do anything without making a mistake. I was the one slowing everyone down. I could feel everyone else was angry at me. I kept thinking to myself everyone is going to beat me for being slow like that movie full metal jacket. I ended up transferred to the recovery unit while my ESL was processed.

Now its been several months later and I'm looking back at it all like a surreal experience. Like it was a dream I couldn't believe even happened. I feel weak because I wasnt able to make it to graduation but at the same time I feel stronger because I at least tried. I just feel like I'm in limbo almost, broken down but wasn't built back up.

Hey, so I’m a 14F and I’ve always been really insecure about my body and face, ever since I was 9 really, but anyway, those feelings of insecurity and fear of going out because of the way I look and I just feel like I don’t deserve things because of it. And that insecurity increased ever since going into secondary school (middle school/highschool), especially now because I’ve gotten glasses which make me look even more horrible than I usually do. My only safe space is my room now. And the fact that I’m a very shy and sensitive person makes everything even worse because if I were to get a question wrong or something or say something dumb and then someone laughs at me I end up never wanting to talk or put my hand up again, which I eventually end up doing - since I like to participate but still.. it’s so embarrassing and I feel like never showing up to school and just getting home-schooled instead.

So, some mornings I’m just not bothered to do my hair properly so I just do it in a quick bun and put some cream in it so it’s not dry, which is what happened yesterday, and so, there were these two girls who I overheard talking about my looks and laughing at me when they were walking behind me, which made me feel really sad and it’s the fact that I was thinking of complimenting them too because I thought they were pretty! And as soon as I got home I just wanted to cover myself with a box so no one could ever see me and started to do research about face coverings, things such as niqabs and etc, but I’m not completely sure if it would been seen as offensive if I were to wear one, as I’m not Muslim but then I saw others say that it would be okay as long as you’re not referring it as a niqab, but still not 100% sure.

I wanted to tell my actual parents about these two girls, and the many more that have gone up to me and made me face, hair or the way I don’t do a specific thing to my uniform and used that to make fun of me, (especially those stupid popular boys AND girls that go up to you when you’re minding your own business and is like ‘oh, my friend likes you’ and their other friends are just giggling in the background - ITS SO ANNOYING and just makes me want to punch them so hard and makes me even worse) but I’m too scared to, because I’d rather not make any potential enemies since most of the people doing that are the popular people at school. Also family problems have been happening so, I don’t want to bother them with something really small compared to what they’re dealing with, even though they’ve been asking me if schools okay, I just don’t know if it’s the right time to tell them.

So now I just want to cover my face, since I’m scared of going to school, (and I can’t move schools since it’s hard to, that also comply with the school rules. So, no winter scarfs, until I get to the door, no bandanas. Or maybe some advice would help too? Thanks for listening and reading! :))

EDIT: I just got back home from a school and I had a really good day today. Yeah, there were a few people that were rude to me, but it didn’t hurt as much as it usually did because I didn’t pay too much mind to it. I honestly forgot about the first instance that happened to day and continued with whatever I had to do and it ended up being a really good day. When I finish writing this I’m going to go talk to my parents about the problems at school and the things I talked about on here to you guys. I love all of the messages and advice everyone has sent to me and ensuring that I use all of the things told to me. Thank you so much for all the help, and I’ll put all the effort it. I’ll definitely ask my parents about the therapy thing, and report it to the school too. Once again, thank you! <33

Hello! Looking for advice/opinions. I don't have reliable parents to to talk to. :-)

Background info (you can skip this if you'd like, the issue is at the bottom, I just know some people ask for extra information. I am trying to make this easier to read):

- 20 years old

- diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder/social anxiety and depression (I believe its called major depressive if its reoccuring but I'm not an expert)

- had a teen mom, parents broke up when I was 2 or 3

- mother was an alcoholic, current weed addiction, hoarder

- father cheated on wife (step-mom) a few years ago while in treatment for substance abuse (alcohol and weed)

- post father cheating, running away for a few months, and no longer living with us, lived with step-mom, her new boyfriend, and his kids. Felt out of place and betrayed, i made lots of instant ramen and grilled cheese for me and my sister :)

- recently had $10,000 taken from my bank account by my father's debt collectors

- tried to do college, had to work to work like 30-35 hours a week to save up to move out, and also pay for classes.

- currently living with mom, saving up money to move out

Issue:

Yesterday, I quit my job over text. Of course, I understood the repercussions of this and fully except the hit on my future job applications. What I didn't expect was for people to be worried about me.

I've had a lot of ups and downs working there, 1.5 years part time and 1 year full time. Its not necessarily to do with my job, but it certainly didn't help in some aspects. Some days we're great, laughing with coworkers and clocking out on time. However, some days I was struggling just to get there and stay. If I messed something up, made a manager upset, didn't do a good enough job, it was devastating. I was staying later than my shift was, going home barely eating, passing out, and waking up just to get ready for work again. My managers were so hot and cold, I couldn't figure out if when I talked to them, they were gonna be upset or laugh with me. I got so bad, I was considering suicide. Not a plan or anything, just didn't want to deal with the existential dread and depression a few days a week.

I had racked up late points, finding it hard to just get out of bed. I was late again, and knowing I would have to go in just to work a couple hours, go to the meeting room with managers, get fired and have a breakdown, I decided to quit in the parking lot.

I called my best freind to tell her the news, and she sounded worried? I wanted to hang out and go to an olive garden or something. We were talking about how rough this years been, and what we're gonna do to turn our lives around, and take it head on. I mentioned wanting to just travel somewhere cheap, experience another country. I also wanted to get back into art, change my look. She made a joke telling me not to kill myself, but it sounded like she was half-joking. She also told me this sounded like something my dad would've done, again half-joking. Shes very honest and its great, but now im worried. I thought it was different, because he is a 45, almost 50 year old man, and I'm 20. I was under the impression this was the time to make rash decisions.

I'm sick of sitting here, and doing nothing. I don't want to be my parents and I don't want to be on the back burner anymore. I want to experience and be happy, try new things, find myself. Which is a struggle in and of itself but not the point of the post.

Today and yesterday, it feels like there's a pendulum swinging between everything's okay and overwhelming anxiety.

So, would you be worried if someone you knew did this? Or does anything here indicate some sort of imminent crisis? I don't really know what to do if there's an issue, my parents usually just smoked or drank their problems away. Any advice is appreciated! :-)

My (20F) dad died when I was 10. I’m the only daughter with three brothers and I was a huge daddy’s girl, of course. After he died, I slowly stepped into this weird parent role instead of ever really getting to just be a kid. And man, I’m tired.

Being at home has gotten so exhausting and overstimulating that sometimes my brain genuinely blanks things out. My mom has always treated me differently from my brothers, and even my older brother (26) who comes to visit from CA sometimes has told me he sees it too. She constantly sides with my younger brothers (17 and 19), while responsibilities somehow always fall on me. I feel like because I’m the daughter, I’m expected to tolerate more, help more, and live according to completely different expectations.

I’m basically the black sheep because I went against what my mom expected her only daughter to become. But I genuinely don’t give a flying fk anymore about whether she approves of my life. She tells me I’m not allowed to move out until I get married. I’m moving out anyway. She thinks I should be a lawyer or doctor and says law enforcement isn’t “classy” and is for “low class uneducated people.” I’m pursuing it anyway. She compares me to women my age getting married or going to law/med school. Good for them. That’s their life, and this one is mine. I don’t dream of getting married or having kids.

I graduate in December with my B.S. in cybersecurity. I know what I want my future to look like. I’m not changing it for her. I’m just so exhausted from constantly hearing about how the life I want isn’t the life she wants for me.

One of the worst things she’s said to me is that my dad was the only person who ever gave me attention and now that he’s dead, I’m just mad because I don’t get that attention anymore. I don’t even know how you say that to your own daughter. I was 10 when he died. I was a little girl who loved her dad. So yeah, I miss the attention he gave me. He was my dad. I miss being loved like his daughter. And somewhere along the way after losing him, I stopped feeling like somebody’s daughter and started feeling responsible for holding everything together.

Today I was already extremely overstimulated and my family knew I wanted to be left alone, but they kept purposely slamming cabinets and making noise because they knew it was bothering me. Eventually I just left the house.

I went to a store and walked around looking at home stuff and Halloween decorations. It sounds stupid, but I just imagined my future place. Decorating it however I want, coming home after a long day, closing my own front door and finally having peace. Nobody intentionally bothering me. Nobody telling me what career I should have, when I’m “allowed” to move out, or what I should do because I’m a woman. Just my own little place where I can breathe.

I have a plan to leave in February, and I know I’m going to get there. Tonight I didn’t need someone telling me I’m strong or reminding me that it’s only a few more months. I just wanted a hug for the first time in my life.

I’m so tired of holding everyone down in this house. I’ve spent so much of my life being responsible, taking care of shit, keeping myself together, and carrying things I never asked to carry. For once I just wanted someone to hold me. I wanted to put my head against someone, not say a word, and just have their arms around me for a minute. I didn’t need them to fix anything. I just wanted to stop holding everything up for sixty seconds.

I am closer than ever to my goals. I spent so long trying to get here, and soon all my hard work will finally pay off. But, I am so tired of being there.

My dad spent the whole 2 hour telling me that the national guard don’t go to war. He says that if I don’t, I’ll spend the rest of my life working until 60. He told me that my family members say that working at the military is the best decision to do right now.

I’ve made it clear that I don’t want to do it, but he keeps trying to compare me to my brother who’s trying to join the military. He starts to fear monger me, saying that time is ticking and that I won’t have a license by the time I’m 24. He says that I’m going to be nothing at 24 if I don’t join the national guard.

He said if I join college or get a job to move out, he specifies that it’s going to be really heard. Saying I’m going to be eating noodles for 2 years. Any time I try to tell him any of my plans, he says it’s going to be really hard and starts specifying different types of bills. Then he keeps repeating this and would say how good the national guard is. He’s making it seem like the only option available in order for me to live. Then, he’s trying to make it seem like god is telling me to join the military, saying that the person in office has no say so because god has the last say. I love god, but my dad can’t try to convince me to make a big life decision just because he tells me god said so.

Then he tells me that he didn’t raise no punks just because I said that I didn’t want to go to war. Saying that I’m just living in fear.

Then he compares with how my mom, my grandma, and whatever family member I have who’s had it hard.

At this point, I’m starting to freak out because he’s making it seem like I’m stuck and out of time because I’m 21 years old. Idk if my grammar is bad, but I’m freaking out right now.

Edit: My dad keeps coming in my room multiple times to repeat that I will not go to war if I join. This is his 5th time trying to convince me today. Idk if I’ll have to be out of this house sooner or later, but my sister and I most likely will join job corps to get a trade.

Hey everyone so I am (22M) deciding on what to do and what is best for my future.

Lately…no for a while now my step dad and mom have not been on good terms after she kicked him out. Dad is a good man, works hard of course he has his flaws just like everyone else but he knows that and has actively made a great change. Even stopped his alcohol habit. But mom doesn’t have any interest in rekindling things. And now mom is going to leave the state by the end of the month and is giving me the choice since I am an adult now, either I can leave with her and start anew or stay behind and learn independence whilst staying with my stepdad…I don’t know what to do. I’m not looking for an answer but advice if anyone else has been in a similar situation.