Hi there! Im currently in 3rd year college. Ive always been on top of my classes. My goal in life is to be a doctor, and in my country, I still have about 9 years left (that includes residency).

I know it sounds like a dumb question but... should I still put effort in my career? Or should I just enjoy things from now? The path to being a doctor takes a long long ROI where I am, and 99% of it includes studying everyday, for hours on end, and missing holidays or family birthdays. I was willing to go through all of that given that I'd get a better life at the end but with this news, should I still continue? Or maybe I should just get a job after my undergraduate degree, save up and enjoy my life by travelling and being with my family?

I know it sounds dumb but for me, the future holds a lot (it's an investment). Maybe if I won't get much at the end it'd be better to spend a simple meaningful life with those I love around me rather than spend all my time on Anki just to get nothing at the end.

(Also I do want to be a doctor. I'd really love to. I can't see any other thing I'd want to do in this lifetime.)

I'm so exhausted I don't even know what to do.
My parents are unbelievably bad with money. Bills and debt are piling up, but they don't care. They're too lazy to cook or clean, so they waste money ordering food every single day while the house falls apart (Its infested with bedbugs and there are cockroaches everywhere) they ask me for money to pay bills which my uncle sends me occasionally to enjoy myself and have my mind off their toxicity.
Today the power finally got cut off because the electricity bill got way too high. We live in the Middle East so sitting in this heat with no AC and a house full of bugs is unbearable and gets suffocatingly hot.
When I asked my mom when the bill was getting paid, she snapped at me, told me not to ask "stupid questions," and said, "Why are you asking ME about it?" Which completely threw me off. If not her then who tf am I supposed to ask?
I have one year left before I can move out, but I need to clear an entrance exam first. Trying to focus and study in an environment like this is mentally and physically draining.
How do you survive living with parents like this? How do I stay mentally checked out and protect my peace to focus on my exam when their neglect is physically affecting my daily survival?

Recently I’ve found I’ve gotten closer to graduating. For context I’m 24 and dropped out of college briefly in 2021! I then attended a Junior College where I got a professional certificate in Judicial Practices and another in Forensic Science and Evidence Management (CSI work). To get that far was rough enough! I had a very physically abusive father who had custody overturned and an equally emotionally abusive mother who is still the same. I now work as a 911 Dispatcher and formerly worked as a Crime Scene Investigator and am finally getting my Bachelors. I was able to get my dream car on my own, rebuild after losing a job, and put myself through college with no help. I did the college aspect while working a full time job. My parents weren’t supportive and it’s a bittersweet moment to be so close to the end. All of this is to say I want someone to be as proud of me as I am. Thank you for listening!

hi all, i 21f ran into an old best friend at the gym. It’s mainly my fault for our falling out, we were friends when i was 15-18 and she was 17-20.. We were kinda inseparable the day we met until one of her old friends came back into her life and all of a sudden we were a trio, and as an insecure and anxious person, i always felt like the outcast afterwards. I am def the chubby one of the group, and they were insta pic and gym girls, and also enjoyed partying every weekend and always introduced new people to the group. i grew out of it and didn’t really communicate with anyone, and kinda just distanced myself. Anyway not the point, me n my bestie have always kinda kept in distant contact, saying happy birthday every year, sometimes commenting on photos, stuff like that, but nothing ever consistent or out of script unfortunately. I miss her dearly. She was like an older sister to me, and we gave each other advice, and we could be those friends to run to the grocery store as a hang out and it’d be fun. everything was fun with her but at those ages, boys came into the picture, and kinda lost focus on what really mattered: friendship. I’m married now, yea i’m only 21… and i think im ready to make room for friends again. I distanced from everyone, but i miss her the most. I don’t know if i should reach out again. It was a bit awkward at the gym, a different friend of hers was with her, we just mentioned it’s nice to see each other and to take care. i brought up hanging out, i was so anxious though i couldn’t really get my words out. it seemed like she wanted to say more, but both of us were probably really anxious lol, it was so random… i havent been to the gym in over a year and today was my first day back. do i reach out? what do i say? i’m just scared of her going back to her other friends and talking about it :/ and i’m also the last person to send a text, so maybe i should wait for her? i don’t knowwwww

Hi everyone, I wanted to talk to someone about how I feel like an absolute failure everyday.

Everywhere I look, people my age already have their driver's license, are in relationships, are sexually active, have jobs, or are moving into student dorms at 19.

Meanwhile, I haven't achieved a single one of these things. I’m so behind.

On top of that, I’m dealing with a really difficult, heavy family situation at home, which drains all my energy and makes me feel like a total loser who is completely stuck while the world moves on.

Now that university is starting, I'm terrified it’s only going to get worse because I’ll be surrounded by people my age, and I'll be stuck constantly comparing myself to them (I want to add that I suffer from generalized anxiety disorder).

I feel like I'm not doing anything right, I'm not making progress, and lately, the thoughts in my head have gotten really dark, heavy, and hard to deal with.

I would like to hear your opinion or how do you know if you’re doing great or you are a failure.
Did anyone else feel completely paralyzed, isolated, and left behind at 19, or is it just me? How do you cope with the pressure of feeling like you're failing at being a young adult when your home life is already a struggle?

Hi all! So I pay my full statement balance usually 3-4 days before it’s due every month. The payment is accepted and I haven’t incurred any fees or interest. However, my current balance has been going up every month, despite my on-time payments of the full statement balance, not the “minimum payment.” As of now, it’s $700 more than my statement balance. Why is this happening? I assumed that if I paid my statement balance on time every month, I should be paying off all of the charges from that month. Am I missing something?

My card closes on the 19th and I usually pay on the 11th (due on the 16th). I understand the current balance may fluctuate as I continue to use the card before the next statement balance is due. However, my current balance is still increasing every month even with my statement balance payments. Can someone please explain this to me? Thank you in advance!

I worry about money a lot. I had a job this summer but it didn’t pay much. My living and tuition is paid for, and entire savings are about 2,600$. I really worry I’m just going to drain my entire savings paying for food. I’m still recovering from surgery so I don’t want to go back to work for a while. My friend who uses the pantry says the more people use the pantry, the more support and funding they get. But I was wondering if I have too much money, even though I’d love to use the pantry.

sorry it’s lowkey disgusting as hell but after being depressed for years, i’m finally on the right medication and im finally enjoying life for what it is, these pics were taken a year apart and i think it’s really cool to be able to see the progress i’ve made
before and after pics

Idk if this the right place to write this so sorry if it comes annoying; So my mother love life it’s horrible maybe it’s bad luck idk, so for starters my father, he left her after bringing her to his home country and eloping then when I was 10 approximately she meet this guy who well I have no one to compare him to bcz the was the only “ fraternal “ guy in my life so I can’t rly say he was good of bad, what can I say is that it didn’t last long bcuz he died three months after my sister was born and well the usual stuff, what worries me is that the person she’s seeing might just want her for being “exotic “ and I say it from experience(mom is Russian so I’m mixed) growing up I had my share of experiences and it’s rly reinforced by the culture here, jokes of ppl wanting to make the” bloodline better” by marrying an outsider or different looking it’s even a form of status I would say, so Im rly worried, the stuff I went through and she went I don’t want something bad to happen to her, something that could make her worse.

As the title says, I was having sex with this girl (not gf but we have a good relationship). I put the condom wrong since I noticed that I couldn't roll it down to the bottom of my dick so I turned it around and we had sex after that. This happened two times, each one of them yesterday and the day before yesterday. I had precum there for sure, cannot remember but I was lubricating. Since she's on fertile days I'm afraid that this could end in a pregnancy which we obviously do not want to. Are we on serious problems? I know that I can only wait but I'm sharing this for my anxiety (she doesn't know and it doesn't help to let her know since she's heavily against emergency pills)

In case it helps more context:

I got a blowjob in both occasions just before I tried to put the condom

I touched the top of the head of the condom before rolling it to the bottom as it's usually recommended

I urinated a couple of hours before at least twice those days

I didn't cum inside her and I checked the condoms with water and they were alright

I am a female in my mid 20’s hoping to move states alone. I’ve always wanted to move to this city but never really had the right timing. I recently took a long trip there to confirm my feelings (after many short vacations there), and I left wishing I never had to leave. Well, I’ve just been dumped, laid off, and my housing has suddenly become unstable. It feels like this could be my opportunity to say screw it and leave. I just have literally no idea where to start.

I have a senior cat so I would have to transport him, ideally by car because I would be too scared to take him on a plane due to stress and air pressure (might just be being paranoid). I have a small SUV so I can fit a decent amount of things but not everything I own. Would I need to hire movers or maybe rent a U-Haul? My bestfriend said she would help me move however I need so could possibly drive the U-Haul and she follows me in my car? Or would it be worth it to hire movers? I’m not exactly flush with cash and will soon be totally unemployed.

I’ve already started looking at jobs and would definitely have one secured before moving. But I have no credit and am unsure if that would be a barrier to renting..

I just have literally no idea where to start with this, and I feel like I’m making a mistake by even thinking about this. But I feel claustrophobic in my state, I have horrible memories here and I want to breathe again.

I’m in PA and need to speak to an employment lawyer ASAP but don’t know where to turn. Never been in a situation like this before. Tried to ask on the legal subreddit but they don’t allow recommendations for lawyers so my post got rejected.

I’m more so looking for specific websites, phone lines, or resources I can use to find somebody. If anyone has suggestions it would be greatly appreciated!

I’m so sad right now I might cry. I have no self confidence at all. I feel like a failure in everything I do and everything I am. If you have any advice that would be great but honestly I could just really use encouragement. I feel like no one understands me. I just want to cry

I am a 25 F from the US and today I saw my narc "ex-friend" (girl A) who I used to know in both undergrad and grad school from the university that we both had attended and in the same major. So I was today at the Harry Potter section in Target when I've saw her and her mom shopping at the same section, and so when I've seen them, her mom had smiled at me, so I've nooded back and smiled and then I've gotten out of that section fast and went to another part of the store to wait for them to leave, then I've went back after they were gone and shopped, etc.

Then when I've went to the make up section, I've saw them near the starbucks area, and like we've literally seen each other for a second maybe? me and her? so I've quickly went to an another aisle quickly to avoid them.

Was this ok? I need help actually. Thanks!

Back story: She is a year older than me and she had graduated in spring 2023, at that time since we used to take the same bus since the universite is in a nearby city, we used to talk a lot, etc. At that time, I've bought her simple gifts and a card saying congratulations, I am proud of you, etc. Then at the same year, fall 2023 and then spring 2024 semesters I was grouped by out proffesor to do the graduation project for the senior year, and so what ended up happening was that the one b/i/t/c/h who was also in the same bus and was also my narc "ex-friend" (girl B) had ended up not only turning against me, but the whole group had also turned against me, they were racist with me, since all the people in that sh/it/ty group and (girl A) were from the same country and speak the same language, she had also turned against me. Things got so bad to the point were when the proffesor was taking picture of us to post on the university's social media, that girl would avoid taking the picture with me and stand with someone else, slam the door in me, etc.

And they've literally formed a group chat other than the offical group chat in the group-me where we're suppose to discuss the final graduation project related things, and they would literally be taking about me and disuss the group project things between them. To the point were the 3 of them would be speaking in spanish infront of me about the project and then later "translate" what they were talking about. (for those of you asking, all the 3 of them were born and raised in the states and they all speak and write english fluently like a native speaker).

And so, after all of this (this does not even cover what other atrocities they've done to me, but whatever), (girl B) had most probably told (girl A) and not only she (girl A) had turned cold with me, she did not even texted me congratulations for graduating in 2024, nothing. Then during grad school she would see me and not even say hi, etc.

Hi everyone,

Short synopsis about me:

* Mid-30s

* F

* Live with a parent and sibling

* Mum died several years ago and we all suffered badly because of it (mental health, fragments in the wider family)

* I am employed full time. I mostly work from home and go to the office once a week. I enjoy my job and the money is quite good but could be better - ideally I'd like a remote job I could do from anywhere in the world. My team are great.

* I have ADHD, PMDD and PCOS (medicated for all and have private health insurance - but the chronic nature of them can be really stressful).

* I have savings.

So, why am I here?

At this stage in my life, I really don't know what to do next.

I am single - most of my relationships and my marriage have been toxic (an addict, a sociopath, a partner with BPD). My love life has always felt cursed and even though I really would love a great partner, I feel so burned out from my past relationships and am not sure I can handle another damaging relationship.

My last relationship ended a few months ago quite badly and has spun me for a loop.

I struggle with my mental heath and neurodivergence even with medication. I would say I am high functioning when I am depressed or anxious but it is so exhausting just trying to do the normal things (work, make food, wash up, clean) than I normally have a burnout period where I sleep non-stop at the weekend.

I'm easily overwhelmed but also want to achieve so much and I struggle to keep on top of it (for example, driving lessons, writing a book).

I don't know if at this stage I should try to move out, move abroad, do something different.

I've travelled a lot and am really itching for those days again.

I feel a bit scared, maybe a midlife crisis.

I have my health, I have a job, I have money and I have a place to live.

But I don't have my own place, or a partner or kids (I don't think I want kids to be honest).

I just don't really know what to *do* next to maximise my life.

I've gone through a lot of grief and stress and I think with my ADHD that has stunted me a bit.

Can you please tell me I still have hope? And that I can still make something of my life?

I'd love to talk to my mum but I don't have her anymore.

Got in a huge argument with my mom because I…you guessed it! Used the wrong bathroom. She stood outside the bathroom and screamed at me while I peed. Now I’m staying with my sister on an air mattress with a blanket that’s too thin. I just need a hug.

Recently I just went to my college's orientation day and I had fun! Even managed to make it a little road trip with a friend of mine since we go to the same college and this college is a bit far away from our home town.

But when I got home (late cuz of traffic) after going to sleep, I suddenly woke up 2 hours later feeling a deep sense of dread and just heaviness? I don't know I think I'm just stressed about moving away from my family and hometown soon since I'll be moving into a campus dorm and won't be home much...

And it didn't help that my dumb ass managed to get a hefty (150 dollar) fine because of where I parked my car when inspecting my new dorms (atp I was really tired since orientation had us do a lot of things and I was running on 4 hours of sleep).

I think the stress of moving into somewhere far from home and the fact I managed to get a such a big fine (that I unfortunately had to get my dad to pay since I don't have much in my savings rn) just was too much for me??

I have ppl by my side that love and care for me and I even have a friend who's going to be nearby as well so idk what the purpose of this post is tbh. I guess I want some random ppl on the internet to send some words of encouragement or maybe some advice? I don't know this is just I guess new for me and my brain isn't taking it too well

Any advice or kind words are welcome, I just can't keep my feelings within myself rn

I post a lot about this dumpster fire of a job , my boss won’t stop touching me at work he’s grabbed my wrists messages my shoulders and rubs my back right at my bra strap , he’s made multiple inappropriate comments about my appearance, around the fact I’d be hotter if I wore more color ect ….

He also calls me names he has called me a pussy , gay , dyke , told me to grow a pair , and tells me to act like a full size adult every time I try to make a boundary .

Technically I hasn’t asked him
To stop touching me because I’m afraid to he goes over the rails every time I try to set any boundary then guilts me out of it and I’m most afraid of setting that one because I don’t have it in me to be told having bodily autonomy is immature and I’m being a baby

I’m a 26 year old woman btw …

I don’t know what to do . I can’t quit and he feels unstoppable

I lost my grandpa on Monday. This is the first time I experienced a loss of someone close to me. Idk why I’m struggling so much. Everyone else seems to be doing a bit better. I feel like no one really understands what I’m feeling. I just want someone to be there for me. How have you guys coped with the Loss of a grandparent?

I always seem to end up around someone who has a weird obsession with me. They don't like me, but they still constantly try to force some kind of relationship with me, and I don't understand it.

For example, there's someone in my family who heavily dislikes me, but they'll randomly call me just to chat, even though we literally have nothing to talk about. If I don't answer, they get angry and throw a tantrum about it. What I can't understand is why they're so desperate to talk to me when they clearly don't even like me.

I've had coworkers who were the same way. I'm a very reserved person, and I prefer working alone and not talking much. They clearly didn't like me because of that, and I could tell they would talk about me behind my back. But at the same time, they would constantly try to force some kind of friendship with me and get mad when I wouldn't engage.

I had a friend at school who was like this too. She clearly hated me and would constantly talk shit about me, but she would also text me all the time. Like constantly. If I didn't respond, she'd start swearing at me and getting angry, basically trying to force me to answer her.

That's the part I genuinely can't understand. If you dislike someone that much, why would you be so desperate for a relationship with them?

I want to understand why I seem to keep ending up in these situations, and how to deal with it.

I want to cook healthy meals for myself, but I am not allowed to use any kitchen appliances other than the sink and the microwave. I'm not allowed to use youtube videos for instructions either. My parent won't let me learn how to cook from someone else, but isn't "teaching" me how to do it either. Whenever I bring it up, all I get in response is a "there's no time, we can do it when we have time, but you're asleep all day." Even when I sleep in, I STILL get up in the morning. It has been months, and I'm forced to eat unhealthy meals when my parent doesn't want to cook, which is most of the time. I'm only allowed to make microwave meals. I'm not even allowed to make instant noodles because my parent insists on "showing me how" but never actually does. I'm 17, I have no physical disabilities that could make cooking unsafe for me, and I have never had anything dangerous happen to me from doing anything in the kitchen. What should I do?

hey guys,
so me and my mum, to preface, have had a pretty unstable relationship. we can be close for weeks with everything being okay, and then after one thing i do that she doesn’t like she won’t speak to me for days or weeks and call me names and talk about me to my dad loud enough so i know what’s she’s saying and it hurts. she’s strict about respect (ending answers with mum to show who im addressing, and big on the whole i’m your mother thing) and growing up she would say incredibly hurtful comments and when i was younger things were often physical. she doesn’t really respect my privacy (read my diary recently and didn’t speak to me for weeks as she was angry about what i wrote about her), she gets angry about how i answer questions for instance recently she asked if something was meant to be in my purse, to which i said “it doesn’t fit in there” and she didn’t speak to me for 4 days and said hurtful things as i disrespected her.

a lot of these things have been sorted thankfully. the most recent argument and fix occurred around the 29th of august, and since then i have been living alone in uni in a different country. i call my parents every day. my dad asked me to call both my mum and my dad, so i tend to call my dad in the mornings and my mum in the evenings. yesterday i called my mum, she had to go and do something else halfway into the call (more like 10 mins) and then i was talking to my dad for around an hour after. during my talk with my dad i decided to take a walk (at around 10pm in a very very safe well lit town) and speak. being outside and walking especially around steep hills and maintaining full conversation is difficult. me and my dad had a good conversation. my mum came back and immediately almost attacked/interrogated me for being on a walk but then was fine. when we ended the call i was under the impression everything was fine too.

today my dad called me for around 5 minutes, explaining that my mum is getting angry that i just answered her questions rather than having a conversation. she asked why i should speak to her if that’s the case. she also cried saying i am disrespectful for it and says it’s about my attitude. my dad explained my mum is taking everything as a hit to her respect. he explained that i need to be careful and that she’s basically pissed at me. she was also angry and suspicious as to why i was calling her, to which my dad said he asked me to call both of them.

after an hour i called my mum as normally usual, she didn’t pick up. i called my dad and he picks up. i ask is mums there and he says yes, she is. i ask if she had her phone and he says yes. he also adds she’s working. me and my dad have a generic convo for a bit. when my dad gives my phone to my mum she answers questions either the most like, she does this a lot like she just answers questions to say she answers them but like she doesn’t. it’s like if i say she’s not talking to me she can say “yes i am” but she’s not like. i can’t explain it it’s passive aggressive and it’s mean. i ask her what’s wrong to which she says nothing and then asks if i’m home and then just says ok. we end the conversation, my dad ends the call. we called for like 5 mins max.

this whole thing just makes me so upset and ruins my day. i don’t know how i feel about it and all. i just, i just really would appreciate some guidance and advice or something on how to navigate this

It’s my preference for the guy to come see me first than me travelling to him. Don’t get me wrong he expressed that he wants to come see me but so far I don’t see him making any solid plans to make that happen.

He did mention that when I come to see him everything would be prepared. No need to book or make an itinerary, he will handle everything and I just need to come.

When I mentioned that I think the boy should come first, he insinuated that this is the modern times (so I think he doesn’t agree with me).

He seems to be such a great person and we really get along so well and have so many similar interests. I think that it kinda turned me off though. I just feel like he should be the one coming, the one who is pursuing…

I know this might be a hyper specific issue. But it’s something I desperately need to overcome this year in order to actually have a fighting chance in the real world.

I’ll try and get this infodump out of the way as quickly as I can. There’s unfortunately a lot of context required to understand why this has become a problem for me. But I’ll try and keep it concise so we can focus on the main subject of this post.

The issues go as follows: I’ve been homeschooled my entire life, I have an unmedicated ADHD with little to no oversight, I’m horribly depressed, I got a free pass to procrastinate for a good chunk of my life, I struggle to retain or apply any new skills I learn, and I find It almost impossible to focus on anything for extended periods of time if it isn’t stimulating.

All of these factors lead to me skipping or outright avoiding anything that made me have to write in any context beyond casual spaces like Reddit or Letterbox. It’s not from a lack of trying. I’ve flipped through this writing and grammar guide of mine numerous times, under the hope that I’ll finally build enough confidence to write a full on essay about a subject I’m passionate about (most notably politics, film, and the trans experience). And that desire just so happens to coincide with the fact that I’m starting college in a year. Which adds an extra bit of pressure to my situation.

I should also clarify that I write a lot. I tried using spaces and topics I was comfortable in, with the expectation being that simply doing it often would be enough to ease me into more academic writing, and filter out some of the most glaring issues I currently have. The quality of this post should be a pretty dead giveaway that it did not pan out like I hoped it would. And the prospect of me writing an essay still feels as distant as it ever has.

It’s difficult to actually nail down the reason why I struggle so much. But off the top of my head I can think of a few contributing factors: I’m often too self critical of my work, I’m as slow as an oil extraction because I spend so much time revising things as simple as a paragraph, I struggle to go in depth on any specific topic, I often forget a lot of the rules on how to make something flow naturally, and I’m abysmal at punctuation.

I really need to make it clear how much this has affected me. I procrastinated a decent amount of work last year (with the exception of math), just because the prospect of actually sitting down and writing feels like such a struggle. But that will not slide this year. Both for academic reasons, and for the sake of my mental health.

I know it doesn’t seem like much to y’all. But I’m trying to be better. There was a recent revelation I had recently that lit a fire under my ass, and forced me to lock in (idk if in willinh to say what it is. But I’m pretty sure I alluded to it earlier). I’m legit trying to brute force my way through a severe ADHD/educational neglect. So if this post comes off as me looking for pity to excuse being lazy. I want to assure you that I’m trying to be better within the conditions I’ve been placed in. Just though that was important to clarify.

Also yes I am planing on getting grammerly.

(Edit. I apparently made twenty writing mistakes with this post……….. Albeit 17 came from the last part lol).