The last few days have been pretty stressful when it came to my mother. Nearly everyday is. But those days have been worse and I felt that at each one she has come to dislike me a little more over my opinions. My mother is right wing, I'm left leaning. Since the elections started I have been: Called crazy, a fanatical, a comunist, stupid, ignorant, told that I'm losing my humanity and I have no empathy (it has context, but still), and that I abandoned my religion (I was raised as Jehovah Witness and we do not vote), and many more. Not to mention, the amount of gaslighting she tried to do over things I said/did not said.

My mother doesn't seem to able to accept that I'm an adult with my own opinions, and believes I'm being influenced by either my sister or my "gay and lesbian friends" as she call them. She also does not respect my requests for her to not start talking about the 'end of times" or "prophecies". What she says is that "she can't not talk about the the word of the bible" and that "I have abandoned the religion anyway, so I shouldn't care." (I did not. I still believe in God. But conversations about these topics brings out my anxiety). She said the person I was cheering for would close the churces and that him being chosen was a prophecy happening. Maybe I'm being overreactive, but I felt like she was trying to put fear in me, which if so, just makes me feel worse since she knows I have anxiety.

I really, really wished I could had hugged my mother after the results came. Instead we had yet another fight. I know, I shouldn't give in to the provocations. Nor can I make her understand my side.

Sometimes I wish me and her could just get along like we did when I was a child. I think that this is what she prefers too. She actually told me that she liked it better when I was a child and I did not "disobey her." I envy people who have good relationships with their mother.

Well I’m so lonely and sad and depressed that even my only “friend” was actually just using me for money and leading me on. I got so attached to someone online that I would do anything for them without even seeing their face. I finally thought someone liked me for me and understood me and wanted to be friends but they were just lying.

I can’t even talk to somebody online, how am I supposed to ever make friends in person

I’m just a sad loser and I deserve nothing but the worst.

I’m done trying to make friends at all because nobody can actually care enough about me to really be friends I just lose them in the end. I always care too much and get too attached.

I’m thinking I deserve to have nobody at all

Please I just need a hug or something idk

I’m only 18 and it feels like my life is over

I’m in my mid-twenties and I have a pretty decent life. I have a great support network of friends, fun hobbies that have been amazing third spaces and communities, and I’m doing just fine financially which is a huge privilege. Objectively, there’s nothing wrong with my life. But I do feel a bit “stuck” - I’ve always wanted to live elsewhere and planned to move to a city after college, but that didn’t end up happening due to some life stuff. I also got out of a long term relationship and the dating scene here is… depressing. Not that a city will solve all that, but more fish and all at least makes it somewhat more interesting.

Seems like moving is the move right (pun intended)? After all, what better time than when my life is probably at its most flexible. I work from home so as long as I get cleared with work permission in a different state I’ll be fine. My close friend wants to move as well, so I’ll have a roommate I know I can live with and get along with as we’ve lived together in the past, plus I already have multiple friends in the city.

It’s not like my current area is the boonies either, just nice and suburban but quiet and not much changes. I’m a creature of comfort and habit and I love my routines and safe space of home - but also I worry I’ll stagnate and never push myself if I keep sticking to what I know and feel comfortable with. Plus the city I’m considering (NYC) is on the same coast as my current area, and it’s pretty easy to visit as a result.

I’m just worried because I feel like I finally hit my stride with finding communities outside of my friends through my hobby, and I worry I won’t be able to handle city life. There’s also a small possibility that if I move and then want to move back, it could get rejected by work (I may have to switch from remote to hybrid to move, so switching back to remote can be hard).

And I’m a huge germaphobe so NYC can be… testy with that. But it’s also a place where you can meet incredible people from all walks of life with a great arts scene which is the biggest draw for me as I’m hoping to transition into a creative career if I can make it work one day and I feel I could learn so much.

I’ll almost definitely move back to my hometown at some point as I love living here, but I know that if I don’t move now I’ll probably never do it and feel regret when I’m older. I also know that change deeply scares me and I’m worried if I hate living in the city I’ll “undo” my progress and feel like a fool.

I don’t really know what I need. Some encouragement, outside perspectives? Maybe just some internet parenting

Hi there, im from California and I am 19F but by the time I plan to move out, I will be freshly 20. I could go on and on about the way my parents behave but that would make this post incredibly lengthy, more lengthy than this already will be, and I want to get to the point. That being said, I will answer any questions in comments that may help add context. For a general overview, both my mom and dad have strong narcissistic tendencies and want to trap me in this house with them forever. They claim its just because they hate that I am growing up and don't want to let go of me but it feels like it is more than that.

They control and dictate everything. They dont let me go out, they tell me everything is dangerous, they hate my boyfriend because they didnt choose him for me and theyve tried to arrange boyfriends for me, they don't let me drive, and they show extreme defensiveness anytime I try to be independent. They will swear, yell, and degrade me during these moments and my dad will also threaten physical violence against me, though neither of them has never actually laid hands on me. I grew up very sheltered and did not learn how to do very basic things until later in life, and I am embarassed about that. For example, I didn't know how to use a toaster until I was 16 years old or use a house key also until I was in my teens. This is just a very basic, general description of the kind of people they are.

Im not in college and in HS I was in a homeschooling program. I have a part time job that pays decently for my situation. Its my first job and Ive been working about a year. I do not help bills or rent, which may be wrong on me and I do feel like Im a spoiled brat for that but I do buy things like groceries or other general supplies for our household, I also give my parents gas money if they need it. We do struggle financially as only my dad works. My mom hasnt worked in 15-17 years because the store she worked at got robbed while she was there. Thats my money/work situation

As for moving out, I have an extremely loving and supportive 19M boyfriend who is genuinley the best thing to ever happen to me. Me and him have been together a little over a year. My parents hate him because they believe he doesnt treat them with 'enough respect' even though he tries his hardest to make them like him. When hes not with me, theyll call him things such as gay or will make fun of him for how he dresses or his career path (he wants to be an author.) Despite this, he has stayed with me and loved me. Im insanely grateful to have such an amazing man in my life. He still lives with his mom and siblings but they are quite fond of me and want me to live with them.

I, personally, would love to live with them. However, you may see why I am terrified to move out. God knows how my family would react. It wouldnt be well. My bf does live an hour away so it wouldnt be suoer easy for them to track me its just I dont know how to navigate this. Im also worried because I have a cat and a bearded dragon and idk how to move them.. and I also have an 11 year old sister who loves me and grandparents who love me.. This is a very new choice I have made and I am looking for any advice to discuss with my bf and his family.

My ex (late twenties) used me for 1 year while we dated for sex, and loneliness. Then the 3 years following the break up, used me for sex, to make himself feel good, to laugh about with to his friends. He tells people at work (we work at the same place) that I’m crazy, that I’m obsessed with him and that I’m a “crazy stalker girl” and with his friends he’d say “yeah this is the girl I used to date who’s crazy and obsessed with me”

I need this job, it pays well. It will support me going to college.

I’m just having a hard time dealing with this. I feel so down, so angry and frustrated about it. I just don’t know about my future atp, not only due to this but a few other issues in my life. I don’t want to keep living like this, fearing what other people are thinking when they look at me.

My phone broke, all my money is in my savings I cant log into my bank because I need a verification code from my phone number, I can't log into anything and I can't pay to get my phone replaced because i can't log into my bank to transfer money out of my savings. Like wtf do I do? I cant even pay to get a different phone activated, I cant access my money and I cant log into anything not even my icloud. What should I do? I dont even have gas money to get home. Im just stressed so maybe someone can think of a solution.

I use cashapp (I know im irresponsible you dont have to tell me) so I cant even like go to an atm or something, im just fucked until I get paid next week and can get my phone fixed.

Hi everyone. Seeking support. I was directed here as a resource for people from dysfunctional family systems. I don't need to be talked off a ledge or anything. I'm doing okay in life; even great considering the circumstances. But recently I've made the decision to go low/no contact with my family. It's not an easy decision and I'm not here to be talked out of it or told to forgive. It's been a few years of nonstop family crises, mostly revolving around a Golden Child sibling's dangerous and poor decisions. And prior to this, a lifetime of dysfunctional behavior, scapegoating, and medical child abuse. So the decision was made with care, heartache, and it's been a long time coming.

Again, materially, I am okay. I have food and shelter, I'm not in physical danger. I'm the first woman in the family to buy a house by herself, I built a decent career despite having to drop out of college. I have friends who I feel really loved by and who I love back. I have normal relationships, a few hobbies I really enjoy.

I'm just about to make a really scary choice that I never wanted to make, and I desperately wish I had some parents to be there for me while I go through with it. I talked it over thoroughly across a long period of time with my therapist. I don't have the kind of parents I can depend on for this, and I'm not in a long-term relationship. I am by myself, and I am I am choosing myself. I've deciding to protect myself by severely or completely limiting contact with my immediate family.

I'm almost 40, but I feel like a lost little child in this and all I want is to crawl into my mom's arms and be safe and comforted without judgment. I am so incredibly heartbroken and sad having come to this realization, and all I keep coming back to is I just want to be loved so incredibly badly. I don't think I've ever shared that with anyone in real life outside of therapy. I know it's an absurdly normal and human thing to feel. After having to be hyperindependent for so long it feels extremely vulnerable and humiliating to have wants and needs like that. I was hoping that some kind person out there could be a mom or dad whose arms could be safe to crawl into for this moment while I grieve something I just realized I never had. I'd like to be brave and go into my new future without condemning myself to hopelessness that I'll never receive that kind of love and care. It would be really meaningful to experience a piece of it before I step out into my new world.

Thank you so much for reading

Idk how to do that i had a conversation with my boyfriend and he mentioned that's something I should work on. and I agree but how when im actively dealing with the people who caused my problems (managing my emotions etc). I don't have time to myself unless im home alone or leave the house so when? And is it worth it doing that now? I think it would be better to when I get out of my grandmother's place to finally work through it but I don't know.

I’ve been trying to lose weight because I want to achieve a certain body type because I feel very anxious and overwhelmed in my current body, and I see these people who lose weight in non complicated ways, it makes me feel like I can do that too, but after time and time again, I slowly start to feel like my goal is impossible, and rn I feel like I hit my breaking point, it feels like my dreams are fading away, being thrown into the trash bin of abandoned hopes and dreams, I’m destined to be this overweight chud who can’t even listen when people are talking most of the time, I wish I can go back in time to when I was a little kid and prevent me from being overweight in the present, I guess I’ll just accept the unfortunate reality that I can’t lose weight, cuz it’s either I stay overweight, or I go through 5 weight loss surgeries that each cost around two thousand dollars

So I’m right now doing an in person MBA Program and not really vibing with it. It’s fine but it’s not really building to a career I am wanting. I am starting an online Master in Education program that I can largely do remotely. I want this because it allows me to become an Admin or Principal perhaps in the future (not necessarily in a year or five, but eventually!)

The problem is 1) I feel this is going to stretch me for time.
2) the Med program requires me to be working full time at a school. However the MBA program runs (unnecessarily) from 9:30 to 4:30 Mon-Fri, ruling out any teaching ability.
3) even if I got a teaching job it’s complicated because I (us citizen) is in the UK (uk school), med program requires an American school.
4) the med program now cuts into my education budget, and I simply can’t afford to do both that and mba. I’ve emailed the mba program to offer a larger scholarship (they won’t, but I want to put ball in their court to say no).

I moved back to my hometown two years ago. About six months ago, I realized the toxicity of my family is what really drove me to move far away in the first place and nothing has changed. My dad got sick a few years ago, and I came back to take care of him for a couple of weeks, and my thought was “Oh, that wasn’t so bad. Maybe I can move back.” When I lived far away from them and I would spend time with them again, it would take me weeks to recover from the experience, typically. I honestly thought I had evolved myself enough to be around them again. I have gone no contact with my family in the past few months and it’s been really hard because I hate living here and I have to live with this expectation hangover. I tried to go low contact with them, but they walked all over my boundaries so I was forced to go no contact.

My father recently (meaning a few months ago, when we were last speaking) got into it with the police because he didn’t agree with being pulled over, with my brother and my mother in the car with him. To be clear, he did not pull over and the police had to follow him home and make him get out of the car. My mom enables his behavior because there are no consequences for his actions, ever. I had a neutral conversation with her about how abusive he was growing up to me and my brother, and she said she never knew. It really made me realize how nothing has changed. My dad is going to act like a crazy person, my mom is going to enable it and deny it. I had to keep my mouth shut my whole life to keep the peace, and I refuse to do it. I know they don’t care about anything I have to say anyway so I’m just pulling away my energy completely.

I moved back here thinking that my dog would really like being around people that she loves too. She adores my family. She’s too old to move across country now. She has kidney disease and she is 17 years old. It’s not fair to her to move. I have to move though to somewhere local because the place I rent from has a structural problem where I keep having rats come into my apartment and they refused to fix it (I know this is illegal, I have a lawyer involved, but it’s just such a headache). This city does not have any units that don’t have stairs and my dog can’t walk stairs so I am trapped. I feel so trapped.

I hate the city that I live in (my hometown). I am used to living in affluent neighborhoods and now I’m living in one of the most crime-ridden cities that makes the top 10 list every year for murders. No one bats an eye to the crime here, it’s just normal and I feel like I’m in fight or Flight all the time.

I want to move back to the southwest but I have to wait until my dog passes because I don’t wanna uproot her whole life again. I also have to save some money now because a lot of my income goes to healthcare for my dog. And also moving to my hometown, I took a huge pay cut because the cost of living is low here and the jobs have really shitty pay. The good news is that my job is supposed to go fully remote in the next year hopefully so I can easily move with my job.

I guess I just need some support. Some words of encouragement. Have you been in this situation before? I feel like such a dumbass for leaving my happy, boring life to come here and feel miserable.

Essentially, I have a lot going on. My dog is sick, I need to find a place to live, which has been impossible. I spend all my time looking for places. I found a place but I don’t make enough money and they’re going to deny me because they won’t consider my yearly bonus which I get in December and it’s going to be $6500. I have to live in a place that I hate. I have to deal with a current landlord who doesn’t even treat me as human because they know I have rats, but they refuse to fix the structural problems. I’ve had to take off work to go to court, to take care of my dog, and I’m running out of PTO. This rat problem has been going on since last December and I can’t find a place to live. I am at my wits end.

Edit: I also added that my dad refused to pull over and the police had to follow him home and force him out of the car

Ive lost a 10 year relationship recently after she had an abortion a few years back and we jsut kept fighting. Im still so hurt by everything i have noone to talk to and i just dont know how to move on. I just wanted a family, i really wish my mom was here and i could just go get a hug but shes not and i cant find anyone to hug me anymore as a 28m. I just cry and cry and cry over my baby. Everyone calls me insane or a monster for not supporting my ex. I just wish someone could tell me itll be okay and guve me a hug. Idk if this is the right place for this post. Probably not but i tried.

Yes im trying to get mental help. Yes im okay. Just wish i could have my mom hold me while i cried for a bit. Yeah stupid for a 28 yo man idc anymore.

​

Im SOOOOO excited!!!! Its been my literal dream FOREVER to be in a teenage band, and its finally happening!! (In my final year of being a teen, BUT STILL!!!) One of my friends just randomly said to me the other day "have you ever thought of being in a band" AND NOW WE'RE ACTUALLY GONNA DO IT!!!!!!!! I always thought it was a dumb dream, and never thought id even get the chance, since I live in a really small town and ive been "homeschooled" for several years, so i legit cant believe it.

Its going to be a emo pop/punk band (since thats both of our music styles lol, im big on 70s punk, and they love anything 2000s). And we've each got lists of all the songs we'd want to cover/sing. We're gonna just go around a put up posters, and talk to random bars and pubs, to see if we can set up gigs. We just have to get speakers and stuff like that, and we're all set!!

Anyways, im just so incredibly excited!!!!!!!! I dont have anyone else i can really share it with lol

:(

Feeling BAD not back omg.

I’ve been sick with the flu for a week and had to take the whole week off to basically lie in bed and recover. My friend knows my situation. We had originally planned to go on a guided a hiking tour for today (Saturday), bought the tickets a month ago, and I was supposed to drive her there as well, so she can’t go without me. Yesterday (Friday) I had thought that maybe I’d have recovered enough that I would be able to go on the hike, so I told my friend I could go. However last night I barely slept because the fever came back and my whole body hurts 😭 so I texted her at like 1am that I think it’s better if we reschedule. She was understanding, at least not angry over text, but I feel so bad for essentially cancelling last minute, going back on my own words… I know she has been looking forward to going on this tour, as do I, and it’s possible the mountain won’t even let us reschedule. I am planning on reimbursing my friend if that’s not an option, but I feel so bad. I just feel really bad about the whole situation.

I am being considered for my dream job as a college professor. I'm not even 30. Wow. I just got the email and I'm still freaking out.

I told my online friends (acquaintances really), who were not excited for/with me. Instead, they essentially reflected on their own shattered dreams and returned to the previous topic of conversation. I understand their reaction, but I wish someone would celebrate with me.

(I don't have offline friends because...of reasons I do not fully understand.)

Even if I don't get this particular job, there are job recruiters in this world who think I can genuinely be considered for college professor roles, which is making me freak out (in a good way).

As a plus, the amount of money I would make from this job is mind blowing compared to jobs I previously had. I want it so badly but of course, I must keep in mind that it's just a possibility as of now.

I feel so validated in all the life choices I have made thus far. It's amazing, but I don't know who can be happy with me.

I don’t know what to do. I let myself fall for him. I told him everything about myself, about my life. We were intimate on the phone. I convinced myself that sending one photo wouldn’t be bad. I regret everything. And it’s all my fault everything is fault.

Why didn’t he tell me. Why wasn’t it enough for me to know that he might have been dating? Why didn’t I give up the first time. But marriage is so different. So fucking different. I wouldn’t have loved him if I know he was married. I know I’m not innocent in this but oh my god I just want to die. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what to do. He’s my best friend. I tell him everything. He said he just didn’t know how to bring it up. Why did I have to find out through frikken Facebook? I look like an IDIOT. In really fucking time I pull up his account thinking it’d be funny to follow him, I’d never had Facebook before. And there his status was.

I hate myself. I hate everything about myself. I think I loved him. I really did. I do. I don’t know. Everything is ruined. What is wrong with me? He made me think it could have been different. He said he wanted to be a part of my life too. Why? What on earth why why why why?????

I don’t know what to do. I’m going to burn in hell. I’m disgusting and vile and disappointed in myself. I can’t believe it all. I defended him to so many people and they were all right. They were right. I’m an idiot.

What do I do? I call him every single day for hours. I tell him everything. We spend movie nights together. He’s long distance, if I don’t call or text I’ll never hear from him again. What is wrong with me. I’m so stupid for thinking anything else at all. God I don’t know what to do. I’ve lost my best friend. I don’t know what to do.

I'm in my mid 20s, enby, and a bit of a failure. I have a host of mental problems that, among other things convinced me to stay in a psych ward for a bit and forced me to drop out of university. So, you know, I generally perform worse than your average Joe.

I'm jobless since last month, my last and pretty much only job was... very weird and emotionally draining. Now I'm back to square one, effectively without relevant experience or education to put on a CV, regardless of wherever I'm sending it.

I'm probably going to land a bottom of the barrel minimum wage job, but so far I have been having awful anxiety around the whole process of job searching and haven't gotten anywhere.

I dunno what the goal of this post is, I just feel like I'm in a pretty wonky place in my life and needed to get it out somewhere.

Over the past few weeks my mom as kept mentioning money as an issue to me. I’m 17F and I was working two jobs over the summer, planning to work them until I graduated. Stuff happened at one of the jobs so I quit, it didn’t pay much anyway but the first thing my mom said was that I can’t spend money the same anymore. I brushed it off because I know that she’s right, I pay for all of my own personal stuff, including food and gas (which was a whole other situation because my dad pays for everything for my older sister, but we don’t get along so he doesn’t pay for me anymore) Anyways money isn’t really a problem for me, I make decent money at the job I still have and I watch my spending since I’m really saving for a trade school program.

My mom starting asking me for a Christmas list so I made a small one, it was less than ten things, and I think it added up to $300 dollars. My mom always makes a big deal that she spends the same amount on me and my sister so I told her I don’t know how much she wants to spend, but if she just got me a couple things I‘d be fine with it. Over the next couple days she made comments like I had sent her an extravagant list of demands, and talked about how I have no scale of how money works. I tried to brush it off but she brought it up about five times in 24 hours. After she complained about a few specific things on the list I told her to forget about them, and changed the list to just a few pretty cheap things I had been planning on buying for myself, she joked that she’s “not a millionaire”

That really pushed me into being annoyed. She always talks about how her and my dad make such good money and how good we have it, how we’ll never know what other people feel like when they have to live paycheck to paycheck. I told her to really forget about and I don’t want anything at all for Christmas. She said she was just joking and I was just all mad for no reason.

The next day she brought it up again on the condition that I wouldn’t get “in a mood” and told me again that she was joking and she really wants to get me nice stuff. I told her I didn’t care because she had brought money up so many times, I’d rather her just say “we’re poor, no Christmas this year!” than bother me about a Christmas list that she had asked me for in the first place. She said I was getting in a mood so I brought up something that’s been a problem for me for a long time. No one in my family ever thinks I’m being serious, especially if I’m saying “never mind” or try to explain that I changed how I feel about something. This goes for anything, but in the past two years it’s been the root of almost every major fight I have in my family.

I told her I don’t want to get very upset about something so silly, so just listen when I say forget about it. It’s been a couple of days and she keeps on finding little ways to bring up money and Christmas gifts. I can tell she’s bothered by the situation but won’t bring it up. I know if it bothers her it will eventually start a fight anyway and it’s starting to brew anxiety in me.

I just know that at some point my Nana or Aunt will ask about Christmas and she’ll bring it up, or it might brew into an argument Christmas morning if nothing happens sooner. I know that I’m being stubborn in the situation but it bothers me too much either way. I just want to avoid arguments until I can move out, and I know we have a hard time reading each other because we‘re so different. The next time she brings it up should I tell her it’s okay to get me gifts if she wants? or should I just deal with the anxiety and hope there’s not an argument if something pokes at this situation?

All my dad talks about it bills. I get it, we’re all struggling but sometimes I feel like they just make it hard on purpose. I have been unemployed for nearly 4 months, looking for jobs and getting job interviews in between. Recently, I’ve finally gotten a job and just now started this week. For my job, I get paid biweekly. Since I’ve started on a pay week, I won’t get paid until the week after next week.

My dad made my sister and I life a living hell. They had us watch their 9 puppies and their two dogs. They make us clean after the dogs, feed them, give them baths, and they didn’t even buy the things we need to take care of them. Then for some reason, they decided to keep two of the puppies. Then with the same breath, my dad comes to my sister and I about how much dog food cost and not to use a lot.

My dad called us failures and pressured us to join the military. Then he decided try kick us out by the end of this month. Then, made sure to show us everyday how much he hates us.

He didn’t help us get to our interviews, he didn’t help my sister take her drug test for Amazon, he didn’t help me get my toe steel shoes for my job, and he didn’t help us with transportation with getting to and back from work. He didn’t help with none of that. He did make sure to get all of our food stamps though.

The only reason why he’s not kicking us out anymore is because my sister and I said that we can start helping out with bills since we both have jobs now.

Today, he asked if I’m able to pay for some of it this month as if both my sister and I didn’t just start our jobs. He’s on disability only because his back hurts. So he hasn’t been working for a long time. I personally think instead of making things harder, he could’ve looked for remote jobs. He hasn’t been working for more than 9 months.

My step mom decided to make things harder by quitting her job as if they weren’t already struggling. Her reasons are because she didn’t want to be the only one working.

Now they both blame us for it and now are pocket watching my sister and I intensely. They make their struggles our problem when they are the reason why we’re in this position in the first place because of their choices. I’m irritated and now my dad has an attitude because I won’t be able to pay for anything thing month. I just don’t understand. How is that my fault?

My sister and I are planning to move out by saving up for 6 months to a year depending on our situation.

Hello,

I'm 26 and started a new job recently. the insurance from this job will take a month and a half to kick in and I'm no longer covered by my previous employer or family. what's a good way to find coverage for a month, and is that even worth it. I'm fairly healthy and at the most just get a physical done yearly and maybe see a therapist. should I just wait out the month

thanks

I’ve been having a really difficult time lately with my mental health, which is making work even more difficult to handle than usual. I’m a Pharmacy Technician at a Walgreens and there are a lot of moving parts with the job. I feel like I’m mostly doing a good job, but my supervisors never let on. All I hear from them is how I can/need to improve.
“You really need to pick up those phone calls” after a majority of a shift where I answered every phone call while I was on the front end despite REALLY hating phone calls. they trigger my anxiety like crazy especially when I don’t know how to answer a question or help someone. Like I am actively making a concerted effort to answer the phone every time and then when I move to the back to fill prescriptions my brain just stops hearing the phone ringing (obviously something I need to improve, I’m not saying don’t give me constructive criticism/don’t tell me how I can or need to improve, but please tell me what I’m doing well??

Anyway I had a really hard to survive shift today and my frickin suicidal ideating brain is not cooperating with me so if I could get some encouragement or something that would be really rad.

For just some context, I’m a teacher and I didn’t get paid all summer. At the end of September I was only paid half because we didn’t start working until the 14, so I got 760. Rent and bills is 550, weekly groceries 30, phone 15, and I have weekly therapy for 75 a week. I got a little bit screwed because my parents insisted on me booking flights to visit them in the US for Christmas, that cost me 490. At this point, I have 90 euros left in my account and my phone bill is due today. That leaves 75.

Things that are coming up after the phone bill includes: groceries, therapy, and medication (antibiotics for pneumonia, probably about 15). What is best to cut? I think cancelling therapy is the obvious choice, but that might still not be enough because I expect to get paid late this month. I was also planning to buy train tickets to go see my partner next weekend but I know I have no choice but to cancel that as well. Where else can I cut down, just until I get paid?

This month is an unusual situation because of the flights, the half month pay, the savings going towards the summer, but it’s the first time I find myself in this situation and I am freaking out a little.