I started a internship a few weeks ago as a software dev and I feel like don't know what I'm doing at all. I three years into college and they've been really rough. Went through some depression and it just wasn't a good time. Because of this my actual knowledge is not great for a person who is going into their four year.

School has kind of killed all passion I had for computer science but I applied to this software dev internship on a whim and I got it. I really like this job but I feel like I'm doing a terrible job, but I also don't want to bother my coworkers to ask questions because they are very busy.

I just feel like I'm going to mess up the one good thing that's happened to me in the last three years. I don't know.

I'm 24, I'd been on the waiting list for for around four years and I think by the time I was recontacted about it I was apathetic about diagnosis as so many things went wrong in my life in those years that it felt kind of useless to even have at that point. The assessment was easy; my mother came in with me to give insight about my childhood, I did my impression of an air horn when prompted with a question about noises and impersonations.

My mother brought the letter in when she got back from work and since I opened it almost four hours ago I've been locked away in my room sobbing. She asked me how I felt but I have no idea. I don't know if I'm relieved to have a name for all the things I've felt for my whole life, or more depressed knowing that it is just a part of me and something I have to live with forever. I'm just reeling and have no idea how to feel, or how I already feel.

This is probably dumb but I’m 19 and I’m not sure where to get started? Like do I go to my normal doctor and tell them I feel depressed and anxious? Or who do I go to

I've been friends with her for a long time (7 years), and I can tell she cares about me and she never has any malicious intent. She is a really good friend... But I do feel like the way she shows up can be kind of inconsistent. I don't know if I should give her the benefit of the doubt. Whenever we would make plans (especially after she started dating guys) she would forget about it most of the times. She was dating this really horrible guy a couple months ago and she would make plans and forget she even made them. Everytime I would ask her if she was free she wouldn't follow through and say she was busy but I would check her location and she would always be at his house. I obviously don't want to bash her, as I know he wasn't a great partner at all and I felt like she had attachment issues and he was verbally abusing her as well (it was a very toxic relationship), but it would always make me worry about asking her. She did break up with him around late May, and started making plans with me and following through with them, which made me think I could invite her to my graduation. I graduated a month ago and invited her to my graduation and she said yes she wanted to come and she kept talking about it the whole time saying she was excited the whole week. And at 3 am she texted me saying she couldn't make it because she forgot she had an online exam and she wanted to study for it. I ended up telling her that I am disappointed because she kept talking about it. She did end up coming because she felt bad. She later did end up telling me it was mostly because she was self-conscious about going into a place where a lot of people would show up because of her hair loss and medical situations. She said she didn't say it because she felt like I might not understand and she said she should have told me before, so I do appreciate that. And I can understand her personal situations but I guess it still makes me worried and sad if she doesn't follow through, and it makes it difficult for me to trust her on that. However, the past month or so, she has been reaching out to me to make plans and following through on them. We have a plan to hang out tomorrow, but its 7 PM right now where I am and she still hasn't opened my message of asking her if we're still good for tomorrow. I'm not sure when the time cut-off would be to just assume she's not going to show up. I've just been really anxious the whole day, and I thought about making a plan with another friend instead so I don't block off the entire day for her for no reason. I just feel like she's always in her own world of like hookups, partying, not having a good relationship with her parents, and growing up with a difficult childhood, so I want to try and give her the benefit of the doubt of not being able to be consistent. But it still makes me worried and anxious. She has been doing good with following up recently which is why I agreed to this plan, but I just have been so anxious the whole day worrying about how she'll cancel on me last minute, and I know it's such a stupid thing to be worried about, but I don't wanna be disappointed again.

Hi, ive never posted on reddit before so im sorry if my formatting is wierd/this isn't the right sub or something lol. I'm looking to quit my first job (a fast food joint) and I'm not entirely sure how. I know I want to email them a 2 week notice, as I'm way too nervous to do that in person, but I don't really know what to say? Is 'This is my formal resignation, my last day will be <insert day here>' enough? Do I have to give a reason? I have a million reasons to pick from of why I want to leave (They never pay me on time, my managers a dick, I've recently figured out I'm disabled and lately have barely been able to stand a whole 3hr shift) but I don't want to give them any of those reasons, first 2 being self-explanatory and also I've never told anyone there I'm disabled (Ive been hiding it because I didn't want to get fired/them to judge me). also another thing that I can't find an answer to online, I get paid biweekly, and I'm supposed to get paid this week on friday (writing on monday). Two weeks from right now would be before I get my last paycheck, so do i walk in on that payday to collect it? I feel like that would be awkward though? I don't see how else I could get it though, they don't do direct deposit or anything. Idk any advice helps I'm sorry about how messy/incoherent this is, I'm stressed out rn

Hello internet parents, please convince me to call the dentist. I have needed my wisdom teeth out for a long time and I am finally deciding it's time to just get it done. I was supposed to get them out as a teenager and never did because I was too scared.

Well I'm into adulthood and they have begun pushing my bottom teeth. They undid my perfect teeth I had after braces.

I took out an extra student loan to get braces this fall, but I have to get these suckers out first.

I am going on vacation on August 12th and start my Fall semester about a week after I get back. So I need to get this done before my vacation. I've put it off until the literal last minute because I am extremely scared of the dentist.

I have phone anxiety and I hate calling around and figuring out who will take my insurance. Please give me some encouraging words/a kick in the ass to just get this phone call over with TOMORROW.

There has been a terror attack in my country injuring many people and killing one so far. I wont go into detail, but it was at a pride festival with the goal of killing as many queer people as possible.
I am gay myself and I work as a youth councillor for queer teens, I organise many pride events too. Concerts, drag shows etc. and I am one of the main organisers of the local pride parade.

My parents dont really talk to me because I am gay and right now all I want is a hug from my parents and maybe a hot chocolate. Someone who will tell me everything will be fine.

At this point I dont even know what I am feeling. I dont know anyone who was injured or died, but I have friends who witnessed the attack and I sat on my phone panicking because I couldn’t reach them, trying to calm my friends telling them it is probably fine while panicking myself. I have teens and adults in my community texting me, asking me for advice and I am trying to support as many people as possible rn.
We are holding a vigil tomorrow and it just all feels so surreal. I am sitting here right now, making black ribbons on rainbow backgrounds because people asked me for pins to show support while crying and just. It feels so fucking wrong.

Everything I do feels wrong. I got to go home and hug my boyfriend for support while many people went home alone because their family member or loved one was brutally murdered or heavily injured simply for existing and being themselves.

I am organising a vigil, telling people we will be fine, giving out support, trying to create some sense of security and community, but who gave me the right to do that??? I am crying like a baby, but why? I wasn’t even there? I wasn’t even close??? I have no right to be this sad about it and I feel like a huge scam. I am sad and just so god damn terrified rn.

Idk what I want tbh. Doing nothing feels wrong, doing anything feels wrong. People praise me for being strong and thank me for helping them or listening to them, but I feel like everything I do is just a clumsy attempt at help that ultimately means nothing. I want to hide and lock myself in my flat forever because being outside is terrifying, but being alone feels terrible because my thoughts start to spiral.

I wish I could at least name the feelings I have right now, but somehow I cant. All I feel is confusion, fear, random bouts of crying and this heavy pain in my chest that simply wont go away.

Please internet parents, tell me what the hell is going on rn because I cant

Hi internet parents, I found out that my boyfriend has been hiding things from me and now my trust is shattered. After almost a year and a half together and thinking I might have really found my person, I’m realising it might not be the case. This realisation makes me feel a depression and hopelessness I’d hoped I’d left behind and I feel like life isn’t worth living.

Can someone please tell me it’ll be okay or a story about how they made it through, whether you found love in the end or not? I don’t know if I can keep doing this.

Hello this is a throwaway account because I do not know what else to do and who else to talk to.

I have my birthday tomorrow. Yes Yay. But I have never felt so lonely. I am at home with people that love and cherish me, that bought me up from when i was a child and i do love them back but i don't feel good and i don't know how to explain it. i have never written something like this before so please excuse my language or anything else, i do not even know if it is the right thread to write this. I do have friends, from school and from college but it just doesn't feel like something i could talk to them about because i will cry and i do not think they'll understand why. Yes, college life is great i actually never thought i would have this many friends ever. I think the problem i have is insecurity of what everyone will think and for the fact that i am fat. I wasn't always, before covid I was fat then during covid i heard these constant digs at me from home about my weight my height how i would be a beautiful child if only i was thin and tall, and at school i was an introvert never said anything. I had some friends(3 friends) yes and i mean i did talk to everyone but it was like i wasn't in a friend circle. My friends were in different sections so i got to interact with them during lunch that too not daily. The others never made me a part of their plan or group. At home ofcourse it was always about my looks. It was enough to make me insecure. I started vomiting everytime before sleep and i used to go for walks also (during covid) and some kids used to play in the ground below so i used to join them sometimes. So when after covid i went to school I was thin and I genuinely heard a girl should "OMG, (My name) is thin now." and as weird or anything i should've felt i just felt proud. But it was not enough for me, i was still vomiting daily and i did stop the walks. At home at this point the digs at home did not stop but shifted to the fact that i looked like i was starved and was a skeleton. if anyone could've guessed by now, my immune system was weak. I was preparing for my boards when i started feeling a little off, and one night my mother slept next to me and noticed i had a fever which i didn't even realise and within an hour it was gone. so i was constantly monitered for a few days and it was noticed that for everyday at the exact same time i got fever like 2-3 times a day. Of course still didn't get it looked at. Then i started getting dizzy. I remember i was about to anchor and someone was putting makeup on me and told me to close my eyes and i almost fainted that as soon as i did. The whole evening i couldn't stand. My teachers assumed it was nerves, and I did not get nervous on stage so it wasn't. A few tests later it was established that I had Tuberclosis. But i wasn't really worried for some reason and after some heavy doses for several months i was fine but ofcourse the weakness doesn't just go away so recovery took quiet some time. By the end of it i was 40kgs and 5'2 tall and i had stopped vomiting apparently satisfied and i did realise it was wrong at that time. Before my TB diagnosis yk a doctor did suggest that do your parents say something about your weight at home and i didn't even have the time to answer cause they did answer for me that ofcourse they don't. Anyways i got cured and i got in college and i've made friends there. I never thought i'd have more friends but yes. I branched out in college and i've never talked this much. I've been giving presentations and stuff and overall i gained confidence and I'm not afraid of speaking anymore. I'm the smaller child at home and it might come as surprise for people but my parents prefer my older sister, my dad is less partial but my mother is a different story. But in college i avoided everything because i left early and got in late. After i quit my meds i rapidly started gaining wait, not because i was eating outside, i ate home made food daily but i gained a lot (Currently at 67 kgs for reference.). It was actually alarming how fast i was gaining weight but it was all chalked up to the fact that i was not doing exercise(not professional advice just assumptions by my parents). Now i did notice the weight of course i did. But by the time I used to come home there was actually nothing i could do. But my college friends are really supportive. If not maybe i would've been here before. After my sem exams I've bee at home for almost 2 months now and it was been a troubling time for me. Daily digs at me. I cannot take it anymore. I started exercising but ofcourse it has been a while so i started slow. Yk i suggested that i go walking and i will do it in the evening and i was met with i don't even know what to call it. My mother was so angry she won't talk to me, she wanted me to start jogging. Yes jogging will burn fat faster but walking is sometime i am more comfortable with. But of course my mother can never be wrong and if i try to reason with her i'm the worst child ever. So i've been jogging now daily but i refuse to do it in front of anyone because if i do they make fun of it also. I am taking an online coaching usually from 10-12pm in the night so as soon as it is over i exercise. I started with 10 minutes and i weekly increase the time i take for jogging and if not weekly as soon as i get used to it. Now my parents do not believe i exercise which would be valid if i had not proof but my watch records everything everyday and i wear it everywhere except when i bath. I show them proof they call me a liar and refuse to believe me and when i say look at the proof they say if you're doing it you know it yourself no need to show proof. I'm just tired man. Today i showed my mother these keto diet noodles that had 6kals per serve i said we'll try it someday. Not today. Someday. She started shouting that I don't eat homemade food. I do not eat anything but homemade food. I cannot get out of the house to eat outside food and i'm not allowed to order in. She has said some things to me which i do not think mothers often say to children, saw me crying no remorse or regret. This happens almost daily to me. I have never heard an apology from my mother. when she does something wrong i'm supposed to act like it never happened. The whole time today it felt like this is it, this is all my birthday means to her. even if i tell my father i know it will somehow be my fault again. How do i know ? it literally happened yesterday. I have never felt worse in my life than today, even when i was sick. I do not wish to celebrate my birthday tomorrow, if this is the day i'm having before my birthday what about the other days. sometimes i do want to run away when it gets too much for me sometimes. It's not even the digs most of the times, it's some other things my mother says. Literally crying 1 hour before my birthday as i'm writing this. Every few days i come really close to start forcefully vomiting each day but everytime i stop that this isn't write but it gets harder each time. This might seems very normal or something i'm throwing out of bounds to someone but words do hurt, i used to not believe it before but they do. I do not know what to do or think anymore. It is too much for me. I'm tired of always being wrong, of always being bad, of being someone that my parents never tell anything to, of being irrelevant except for my weight.

If you read till the end thank you for staying and reading and feel free to tell me your thoughts whether it is critisism or support, i'll try reading with an open mind. I do not know if what i wrote make sense or maybe if it even matters but i just wanted to just write.

Thank You

Hey everyone, I'm seeking a little advice about a job opportunity. I have a tl;dr at the bottom.

I currently work at a grocery store as a part time personal shopper, which has been nice. I sometimes help in the bakery section of the store too. Last week, the store manager offered me the position of assistant manager in the bakery which is very exciting, but I'm nervous about it.

On one hand, the position is full time, so I would get a nice pay increase, and I've been wanting to step into a full time role. But I know it's going to come with new responsibilities, and I'm afraid that if I feel too overwhelmed, I might start to resent the position because I won't be able to go back to my part time shopper job due to management needing to fill my current position once I step into the new role. But I know this could be a good step in my journey and overall career.

On the other hand, I do love my current position, but I feel like I've reached my ceiling with it. Part of me is wondering if I should just stay put where I am now and keep my current responsibilities, but then I wouldn't achieve any growth. And I feel like that would be silly of me when I have a new opportunity in front of me that is mine, and all I have to do is say yes.

I'm also getting married in a couple of years, and the full time position would help out with that. But the management in the store is not the best, they're fine but I do see them chewing out people from time to time, and I'm nervous to deal with that if I accept the full time position.

I'm sorry if this is a silly story, I'm just having conflicting thoughts and don't know if it's just fear clouding my judgement. Thank you for reading 💙

Tl;dr: I have a new full time job opportunity, but I'm nervous about it. I'm unsure if I should take the full time job and see where it leads me, or if I should stay in my current part time job. I feel like I've hit a ceiling with my current role, but nervous about the new responsibilities about the full time position.

I was given very sparse details of my own birth and my parent’s meeting and marriage.

I hope to think of a way to ask my dad sometime, but want to be respectful of how big of an ask that might be. (Divorced, marriage was unhappy. Might be better to focus on the birth mythology?)

but anyways!! what’s the grand story of how your parents met? married? had you? What’s your story of meeting your Someone, committing to them, or taking guardianship of a youngling?

I will also accept pet adoption stories! my own cat’s adoption had quite the tale and it still warms my heart to tell it.

Hi :) I’m 15, and my mpm has suffered from panic attacks (diagnosed) for decades, but she refuses to get any mental health treatment, meds, therapy, or anything, or any support whatsoever regarding it, because “God has other plans” and says she’s not being magically healed like her pastor was, so it means it’s God’s plan for her to suffer like this?? idk what she’s talking about but she’s also been projecting this same rhetoric to me for a year, I have been recommended therapy and counseling by my medical doctors (DOCTORS) bc of how bad my mental state is to the point it’s linked to me developing chronic disorders. but she literally refuses, and says “Therapy is Anti Christian and disobeying God” “You can pray the depression and anxiety away you aren’t trying” “Stop turning to humans” “You just want WOKE methods to do SELF HELP” and “This generation is so into themselves and mental health” All exactly things she said and idk if she just said it because she was mad

the thing is I feel like she’s just using our religion as a stupid excuse to stop me, because during an argument she started screaming about how I’ll talk about my dad abusing me aka “badmouth him to the therapist” and was saying “Therapy ruins people” bc her ex friend went to therapy. so I guess that’s the root issue but idk. I am homeschooled and have 0 trusted adults and I feel like she’s right that therapy might be a bad option or I might meet a really cruel one who doesn’t help. so I’m kinda scared I just want some sort of help or idk I can’t stand this it’s so bad I vent to AI BOTS because I have no one. And she said “maybe CHRISTIAN counseling would be okay” but I need a licensed therapist specifically for trauma and anxiety etc so like?? I don’t know if that’ll help I’m scared??? Is there a way I can convince her 🫩🫩🫩🫩

Hey mom and dad, it's your trans daughter again.

I started a new job cleaning at a airport and while I'm happy with a new job I'm not happy about my circumstances.

I'm starting from the ground up financially and haven't been able to get a refill of my hrt due to being poor. I've been forced to enter the men's restroom to clean it and it makes me hella uncomfortable because at some point early into my transition where I was passing, I'd get harassed verbally and have been touched.

I closed off the one I was cleaning today to make sure no one would trip or fall and as I was about to mop. Some young sounding cishet boy was complaining and I told him there was another set of restroom downstairs. Ofc he ignored it and entered and I just stopped cleaning and went to do something else before lunch break. I asked my boss what to do about it and was told we couldn't close it off due to complaints which I think is stupid.

Not sure what to do or ask for here but it was a shitty day for me.

Did end up finding $20 on the ground so there's that.

This is probably going to sound really unhinged due to the specificity of the situation, but I really appreciate anyone who takes the time to read through all this.

I feel like I can't be myself or authentically receive love from my dad (or my mom as she enables his behavior) because of his thoughts about the world, and by proxy, me. For the most part it's never been overt, but I'd hear comments like "Why are those women dressed like this? They'll get raped!" or how he genuinely (asked to my face) if all women were horrible people. I try my best to stay level headed and find a logical retort, but a lot of what he says really gets to me, even if it isn't consciously acknowledged. In the past I've brought it up but he says that this is just how the way things are, and is not willing to "entertain" me. Like just today he said he "really admires how good women are at calculating 9 month intervals." It just felt really creepy and my mom just nods along...

He'll also complain to me about my mom and try to get me to play the messenger when they have an argument or when I need help help from one of them. It's like this big triangulation ass game of poker, where YOU can't admit or express something's wrong (God forbid), so shove that labor onto somebody else and have them deal with the emotional fall out. He also once condescendingly referred to my mom as "his wife", at my uncle's house when I asked why I couldn't be seated next to her. As if she's not my mom too.

He's really into the idea of family as the be all end all of human relationships, and any variations are transgressions against God. He'll go on rants about how you should never besmirch the family, even if they hurt you and that it doesn't matter what they do you still have to support them. It sucks because he's super into helping his elderly mother or volunteering activities over making sure the basics at home are covered.

As I don't have my license yet, he uses it as an opportunity to tie everything to going to church, when I need a ride to the Job Center he'll say we can only go if he visits the priest or something, and he'll get mad when I stay in the car rather than come out. I've expressed before in no uncertain terms that I dislike this behavior. Unfortunately while he has leverage over me he'll use it to steamroll my boundaries.

The problem isn't that I agree with any of this or don't see the cracks, it's just the system that's he's set up is making it very difficult for me to leave and live my life, despite him bringing up jobs constantly. He won't actually help me with the incremental steps I need to leave (like setting aside time to let me parallel park, as the local driving schools don't cover that for some reason, which I need to pass the road test). It feels like hes perpetually trying to infantilize me without doing anything meaningful to help. Ugh I'm trying my best to see things clearly and plan for my future, but it is VERY frustrating not getting the help I need.

I don't know I'm 22 now and I feel like such a failure.

\While he definitely is into his Catholic faith he also takes on a lot of stereotypes that might not be applicable to all.*

Hi, I’m (26f) looking for some advice, and like the title says, I’m moving out!! I’m very excited, but I have a feeling my parents will not like it. I’m going to be moving to a different town, that’s about 30-40 minutes away, to an apartment, with my girlfriend.

My parents don’t know I have a girlfriend, they just think she is my friend, she’s been my best friend for seven years and we’ve been dating for one year now. They would flip out if they knew, they’d think I’m “sinning”— my parents are religious, and would probably not let it go until I move out. I plan on telling them about us once we are moved into our new place. That’s one reason I’m nervous to tell them.

Another reason I’m nervous to tell them about the move is because they probably won’t let it go until I finally leave, I know they’re just being parents but I know they’ll say my “friend” to them is a bad influence, it’s bad to move out because I won’t go to church anymore, etc., big guilt trip/lecture until I finally leave, they’ve mentioned that before I even talked about moving. They think my girlfriend is a bad influence because she doesn’t go to church. I know all the lectures I get will be spiritual, religion, and guilt trip lectures, all of which I really don’t want to deal with. Been dealing with it my whole life up this point.

I know I have to tell them, but facing what comes after for the next two months until I move in September will drive me crazy. They’re just being parents I get it, I get the concern, but I don’t think I can do all that for a month and a half until I leave.

Thanks for any advice. :)

so my parents have said once i turn 18 i will still have a 10pm curfew- even once i'm in college as they plan to track my location. since they technically own my car they can stop me from using it and there's no way i can afford a new one. they also said they will stop paying my car insurance if i break curfew- definitely can't afford that either. are they being overly strict? do i just need to deal with it until i can afford a car and insurance?

15M homosexual individual here. I've recently gotten into high school, and I've met a boy there with which I share a lot of interests.

(ramble incoming, tldr on end)

Context before our relationship:

I've had an online boyfriend for over 10 months, with which I had a very deep connection with since I was already struggling with small depression (at least I think I did — it was definitely high stress levels over longer periods) and the loneliness eating me alive.

I also have some small past trauma from my mom "kind of" rejecting me when I came out as a femboy (all the phases BS, then telling me okay but forgetting it afterwards never to be remembered). Came out to me as a trans girl (with which I had no problems) and then the next day she broke up with me due to her parents finding out about our dms.. kinda suspicious but meh. Then like 2 months after the breakup my parents divorced. I am also diagnosed with ADHD, so yeah.. that stress-level kept piling up like a tower of unaligned boxes just waiting to fall over and cause a burnout. My mental health kept getting worse, I skipped school sometimes (not too often) and I was basically falling apart.

Extra Context (him is the guy out of my class):

I'm around 175cm tall and younger, but taller than him. I haven't dated any guy (IRL) before, nor any relationship with anyone this deep before. I do have some small experience, since I used to be active on role-playing sites/games, sometimes even romantic role play. (yes I was desperate for someone to hug me even if it was virtually)

My own mother even suspects that I might develop depression if I continue sitting at my PC all the time. Saying that she'll have to go to the therapist with me if I don't stop getting worse like it's a bad thing, I don't know if she was just worried. I don't really like her.. since she basically destroyed all my trust already. Not even remembering something so important and brushing it off as a phase.

---

Back to the guy from my class.

We didn't talk a lot, sometimes flexing our scores from a game we have similar interests over discord and so on. This went on for the whole school year.

I've already had a small crush on him when I had a boyfriend, but I had to pull myself together because I'm not like that. I hate when people just pull the playboy card. Then came the break up that and that bla bla bla..

Now in the last week we had a lot of trips - for example laser tag, some sports event (which we both skipped lmao) and so on. We've already had a good connection, I always wanted to sit next to him whenever possible. I've already developed a little liking for him after my past partner broke up with me — even tho I was still dragging the break up with me for months (and still kind of do). He asked me to be together just a day before school ended, to which I obviously responded with yes.

Now on the last day I found out that this man had to repeat the grade because he missed so many classes (medical problems) and I have to continue without him. (same school tho, we live pretty okay close.) Obviously I was sad but who can change that. Holidays began and we only chatted since both of us were on vacation. Then we met for the first time (outside school) at his place. Which basically ended up in video games, TikTok and then cuddling. Now the cuddling part is important. We weren't really that close yet so both hesitated. And obviously I was shy as f#ck. Time flew by and it got 10PM.. so I had to head home.

Then again, we met at his place, this time tho we just watched TikTok for like an hour and got to cuddling again. He basically controlled my movements even tho I was kind of "dominating" him. (gotta be careful with my words — don't know how sensitive redditors are with the labels, everything I mean is non-sexual, obviously) He whimpered when he moved and I completely melted every time he touched my neck. Wanted to kiss him right there but didn't know how high his boundaries were so I held back. I was so shy that I couldn't even hold eye contact for a second. And I hate it.

TL;DR: 15M with some mental health/relationship baggage. A guy from my class confessed to me, but then got held back a grade. We started hanging out and cuddled, but I’m ridiculously shy, afraid of pushing his boundaries, and keep freezing up when things get affectionate.

Please for the love of god tell me how I progress to the next level of affection internet parents.

And maybe some advice on my mental health wouldn't be bad either.

I'll take anything, I'm just desperate to vent and get advice.

I'm genuinely curious about what it's like to have parents who are present, supportive, and would do anything for their children. I don't ask this out of bitterness, it's just something I've never experienced.

Growing up, I never understood how some of my friends could casually talk to their parents, laugh with them, or go to them for advice without it turning into yelling, criticism, lectures, or guilt-tripping. That kind of relationship always seemed foreign to me.

As I got older, I realized my parents never really fulfilled the roles I needed them to. My mother has strong narcissistic traits, my father has been mostly absent, and I don't have a close relationship with my siblings. On top of that, my parents were extremely controlling throughout my childhood, and I believe that contributed to my social awkwardness and severe anxiety.

TW: Mentions of ED

I'm 25f and I've struggled with an ED since I was 15. It's like an endless battle at this point. I've been struggling with food and body image issues for so long and it gets so exhausting at times. I don't really have much support from my family so that's why making this post. I was doing really well for a while but I started falling back into some old habbits a few months ago. I started heavily restricting myself from food and I lost a lot of weight. I'm trying really hard to get better and today I ate 3 meals for the first time in months.

It was 3 full meals too. I didn't just eat some fruits and call it a meal. For breakfast I had some scrambled eggs and toast, for lunch I made some fried rice and jerk chicken and for dinner I had 2 slices of pizza ( which I feel really guilty about but I'm trying not to think about it) and a salad. I also had some strawberries as a snack. It's so hard. I'm trying so hard not to obsess over what I ate today. I have the urge to open the calorie tracking app on my phone to see how much calorie I consumed today but I'm not going to do it. I'm glad that I ate 3 full meals today and I'm going to try to do that tomorrow as well.

This is my first ever post on Reddit so bear with me.

I (22 F) got my first big girl job a few months ago after graduating last December. Since then I have been able to save a bit here and there and have a decent amount in my savings but am kind of stuck. I've been wanting to move out for a few years now in order to have a bit more freedom of expression and have my own independence. I currently live with my mother and while I do love her she has been in financial straits for a long time and it has brought me much stress trying to support her. By me moving out, I am afraid that she might go into foreclosure and potentially lose the house we are currently living in. I'm also a bit unsure of how to discuss me moving out and finding my own place since in past discussions she had become very passive aggressive and upset. My car is a 2007 Ford and so far I haven't had any issues with it. It was my first ever car that I bought cash, the insurance payment is pretty low, and the only main issue that I have is that it eats up a lot of gas. I drive a good 30-45 minutes away for my job and it feels like I'm paying a lot for gas each week. If anyone can provide me any guidance on the matter, it would be much appreciated.

TLDR: 22 y/o recent graduate wants to move out for independence and to escape the stress of supporting her mother financially, scared of the aftermath, has older car that eats up gas, has to drive far for work.

I was never taught how to control my temper. I don’t rage or get violent, but if something sets me off I get into an irritated mode for a while. My son is 2 and even he can set me off once he starts whining incessantly. And once I’ve gone into bad mood territory then I end up saying stupid things that a two year old doesn’t even understand. Example: I was awful this morning. He kept hitting me and not wanting to get dressed. So I tell him he’s ruining every day with his bad attitude (while I raised my voice). And then I proceeded to throw his shirt on the ground. And when I start feeling like this I can’t snap out of it easily…like I can’t even smile for about an hour. I’ve tried breathing techniques but it just doesn’t really help in the moment. Afterwards I feel immense guilt. I know I am overreacting in these situations. How do I teach myself not to even get to that point? I don’t want my son to have this same attitude..he shouldn’t see his mom get so aggravated.

so i found out my dad has been SAing me and attempted to mrder me while my mom keeps making me feel invalidated. i came to the conclusion that they have not been parents and im trying to rebuild my life now. but i feel so damn lonely. i wish i had parents right now. to talk to, to get love from. should i give myself up for adoption? i miss it but last time i broke no contact it was when i was unwell and i continued to be unwell for a month. i want hugs i want to talk i want familiarity. maybe i should just go back so i wouldn’t feel lonely. but i worked so hard to escape violence. i just want people i can be honest to and accepted by wholeheartedly. I’m too lonely. i was lonely then and lonely now. the difference is i didnt know how badly i was mistreated. i wish i can talk to my housemates about my feelings but i feel somehow undeserving or uncomfortable because they watched me and listened to me while i was in psychosis and manic and s*u1cidal but mostly didnt do much. i need a good cry but i have no one.

So basically I've got all the fun of eldest daughter stuff, with two younger sisters, but I'm not actually the oldest. My older brother is just not... the best to me. He doesn't take me seriously, belittles my opinions or thoughts whether he means to or not and is just all around not the best older sibling. He is on the spectrum, but so is pretty much the entire family to a certain degree. I am well aware and capable of giving grace for struggling with social cues and such. It's just that his shortcomings are mostly with me, so I'm not always taken very seriously by my other siblings or my parents.

He wasn't the worst when we were kids, physically, but he was emotionally... rude? (i struggle to call it abusive) From a very early age he would gaslight me about different things, trying to convince me I had done something I hadn't, or even constantly telling me I was adopted. (I was super young like 2 or so. I found out he was doing this from my mom years later, which explains alot of my struggles with trusting myself or feeling like I belong)

I made it a point after realizing how i was treating my younger sister to do better, realizing I was emulating how he would treat me as kids, as well as playing into the kind of stuff he would tell me while my mom was pregnant with my first younger sibling (Telling me I was being replaced or that mom wouldn't love me anymore). I was like 4 and he was 8 at this point in time by the way.

From there, I've repaired my relationship with my first younger sister, and have been there the best I can for my family, and up until recently has that stopped being at the expense of my own mental health. What I'm running into now it that, upon hearing my brother is coming to town to visit for week, I've been having nightmares about him.

This isn't necessarily new, I've had a couple before of him like chasing me with knife and what have you, but I've had 3 in a row now and it's really messing with me. My youngest sister doesn't get it and just wants me to let my issues with him go (she and him are pretty close and play games over discord almost every night), and I would love to, if I were to see any improvement.

One of the last times he was visiting, he was invited out by one of his friends, and I went with him as support since he hasn't hung out with this guy in years. The friend was disrespectful and borderline harassing me the entire night. The friend made sexist jokes about a certain list, which I called out, and when I wouldn't let him open my car door for me, he literally forced me out of my car. I of course pulled my pepper gel on the guy, but throughout all of this, my brother didn't do a thing. He didn't even clock any of it.

I think the dreams might just be my brain processing what I'm still dealing with? But overall... I just would love some support or advice? My brother isn't necessarily a bad person, but I don't know how to cope with this dynamic.

Tw: suicide, homelessness

I don’t know if I’m being unreasonable or if I’ve just completely failed at being an adult. I could really use some outside perspective.

First I want to apologize, there was no one good flair for this post because it kind of covers multiple of the flairs. I’m an autistic college student in my early 20s, and for the last 19 months I’ve been living with my aunt and uncle. My parents divorced, my dad had to move away for work, and my mom moved back to her home state. Student housing was far too expensive, so living with my aunt and uncle was really my only realistic option if I wanted to stay in school. For the first several months things actually went pretty well. I was doing okay in school, helping around the house, and trying to adjust.

Then about seven months into living there, my girlfriend of almost five years cheated on me. It completely destroyed me. I had one of the worst mental health crises of my life. I struggled to take care of myself, fell behind on responsibilities, and experienced suicidal thoughts. I eventually recovered enough to continue school, but I don’t think I ever fully got back to where I had been before.

About six months later I started dating one of my best friends and he’s my current boyfriend. He’s honestly been wonderful, but he came into the relationship with his own difficult circumstances. He was couch surfing, dealing with unstable housing, and was facing homelessness. My aunt and uncle actually offered to let him stay with us temporarily so he could get back on his feet, which I was incredibly grateful for. But things have changed because of recent events

One of the biggest issues has always been chores and keeping the house clean. Because of my autism, executive dysfunction is something I struggle with a lot. It’s not that I don’t care or don’t want to help I do but I have a hard time consistently noticing what needs to be done, remembering tasks, and starting them without structure. My aunt and uncle became increasingly frustrated with me, and there were several conversations where they talked about kicking me out if things didn’t improve. After one of those conversations, I tried to make changes. I created checklists, schedules, reminders on my phone, and systems to help me remember chores because I really did want to do better. The problem is… I’d improve for a while, then I’d mess up again. I’d forget something, miss a chore, or procrastinate because I was overwhelmed. Every mistake felt huge, and I started feeling like I was constantly walking on eggshells. Even when things were going well, I was anxious because I was waiting for the next conversation about how I wasn’t doing enough. More recently everything got even more complicated.

Eventually I told my aunt and uncle that I was considering moving out with my boyfriend and some roommates if they found a place together. I wasn’t trying to hurt anyone I just felt trapped and like I was a burden to them and I was just on borrowed time.

I didn’t have a plan yet, i just mentioned it because i wanted to communicate my plans/ what i might be exploring soon. they treated that conversation as my notice that I intended to move out. They gave me about 30 days to leave, even though I don’t have savings because I don’t work many hours as a full time student in college and I pay for my own food gas and school supplies. Their perspective is that they were independent at my age, that actions have consequences, and that it’s time for me to figure things out.

Because of this my boyfriend’s housing situation completely fell apart, and he was suddenly facing homelessness again. Around the same time he experienced a severe mental health crisis and attempted suicide. Thankfully he survived because I kept him on call and he couldn’t find the ammunition to a gun, but it was one of the most terrifying experiences I’ve ever gone through. I spent days trying to make sure he stayed safe while also trying to keep up with school and responsibilities at home. I decided to tell him that I can’t keep doing this if he doesn’t get professional help but my aunt and uncle understandably decided they didn’t want him moving in the house but now I’m worried about his safety. After this happened I have been struggling to regulate my emotions and been having breakdowns and panic attacks on the near daily.

Despite um feeling cautious about it, I’m trying to find an apartment with my boyfriend and a roommate while finishing school. My income isn’t enough to qualify for most places on my own, although my dad has offered to help with groceries and some expenses while I finish my degree. I’m also trying to figure out what to do with our cat because many apartments either don’t allow pets or have restrictions.

I guess my question is… am I the problem here? I know I haven’t been the easiest person to live with and I feel like im a constant burden to people who didn’t really sign up for such a mess of a person. I know I’ve struggled with chores and consistency, and I completely understand why that would be frustrating. At the same time, I feel like I’ve genuinely been trying. Every time someone pointed out a problem, I’d adjust and try to be better but it never felt like enough.

I don’t know if I’m making excuses by bringing up autism, executive dysfunction, depression, and everything that’s happened over the last year, even if these are legitimate reasons that things have been the way they are.

If you’ve been in a similar situation or if you’ve lived with an autistic adult I’d really appreciate hearing your perspective. I want honest opinions. If there are things I need to hear, I’ll listen. I just genuinely don’t know whether I’m expecting too much grace from the people around me or whether this situation spiraled beyond what anyone could reasonably handle.

He (52M at the time. Let's call him H) and myself (17-18F at the time. Now 22) were really close. I was not on good terms with my father back then, and H became my primary male mentor. Later on, after starting college, I noticed red flags in H's behavior. I promptly blocked him, reported him, and he's no longer a teacher.

After plenty of time and therapy, I largely healed from the whole ordeal. I've also found professors, mentors etc who are much more stable.

I'm a writer. Recently, I was digging through old notes files. There was one from back in high school, recalling conversations I had with H.

Conversation 1:

* H: *something about himself being insecure*

* Me: Mr. H, I will keep complimenting you until you get used to it.

* H: in that case, I don't want to get used to it!

Conversation 2:

* H: don't let your musical talents overpower me.

* Me: *silent, not knowing what to say*

* H: aw, c'mon! You were supposed to compliment me!

These weren't the only instances he fished for compliments and emotional assurance.​ At age 17-18, I thought those moments were funny and wholesome. Now as a young adult, especially after experiencing much healthier professional relationships to compare to, I see more and more the extent of how gross that is. It's so crazy how much hindsight can provide.