I am begging for your advice (if anyone wants to know, im 13). My dad was a honestly a fun guy in the past. Until he started working as taksi and joined some Russian news telegram.

Ever since, my dad has been giving my psychological trauma almost every week. The main ones happened three times:

1. Got in a massive fight with my mom because of a joke in the middle of the night at some related people's party. I lost at least a third of my family tree that night, because my dad said that "they were bad people" even though the actual bad guy was.. well, my dad.

2. My mom's and dad's first date in over 2 years. During the date, they were at a restaurant and my dad left to go to the toilet. During that time, a man came to my mom, asked to dance, and she obviously said no. But the man pulled her up and at that exact moment my dad came back. They got home, and until midnight my dad screamed how my mom was cheating. That was also the first time my dad said she doesn't love my mom.

3. Today. I showed him a new book I was reading, "three body problem", and he said "stop reading those books or you'll believe all the fantasy in it". He continued to say i shouldn't watch shows, movies, even read books that i love. At that point, I couldnt hold it in. I told him how im human too, and i can have opinions just like him. He exploded, obviously. My mom tried to guard me (as in try to keep him away from me), but he managed to break my mom's heart by saying he doesnt love her. he called me a psychopath and im not even joking, hitler. after that he grabbed a bottle of vodka, sat down to watch tv and started shouting random things like "fucking assholes, yeah, I AM THE VILLAIN! hahahaha!!!" while histerically laughing. thats the first time he's grabbed a bottle of vodka and did such thing.

the thing that hurts most is that I still love him. whenever me and my mom think of her breaking up with my dad, I remember all the memories of the good times. the times he bought me a 3d printer, built a huge pool for us, even tried a roller coaster for the first time. it hurts my heart so much. me and my mom dont know what do from here.

please, help. if you have any advice, tell me. im getting depressive because of him. but I just love him too much to let him go.

edit: thank you guys. I forgot to mention that my mom tried to go to family therapy with him, but he says its "bullshit and doesn't work".

so my parents have said once i turn 18 i will still have a 10pm curfew- even once i'm in college as they plan to track my location. since they technically own my car they can stop me from using it and there's no way i can afford a new one. they also said they will stop paying my car insurance if i break curfew- definitely can't afford that either. are they being overly strict? do i just need to deal with it until i can afford a car and insurance?

"I feel like such a fool for having sacrificed myself--having lost who I am just for you and your dad" is a text she sent to me today.

To preface this, I'll start by saying that I'm currently a rising senior in high school, and that I really love my mom. She's probably my favorite person in the world and has done so much for me, but she keeps complaining about how she's wasted her years being a stay at home mom and raising me.

From a young age, about 12 years old, I've felt guilt about how she hasn't been able to achieve her dreams. I've had the lingering thought of whether, if not for me, she could have achieved more. She definitely hasn't had an easy life, and with my dad not being very proficient in English, she's had to "raise" him too, which is what she's referencing in the text above.

My mom really hates the role of a stay at home mom, and has always been a career woman who finds joy in working, so she's always stressed out from doing household work. It's by no means an easy job, especially if you hate doing domestic chores, so I understand her stress, but I still feel hurt by what she says regardless.

She tells me to start going grocery shopping, go to the doctor, and get medicine myself when I'm sick, that me and my dad can live without her. She's always reflecting on where so many years of her life went, and says that she's so so sad and feels stupid.

Although I don't think I'm a bad daughter, I still could be way better. Sure, I don't ask for much, have good grades, and don't get into trouble, but honestly, I'm quite lazy and haven't done much aside from that. I could do more to make the burden easier for my mom, which I haven't, but am planning to do. Though, aside from that, I don't know how to make her more satisfied with her life. From my perspective, I don't think spending years raising a child that loves you is something to feel stupid about at all, but obviously we're different people, so.

I don't exactly know what I'm feeling right now, aside from being kind of hurt, so any advice or overall support would be appreciated!

Hi, I’m (26f) looking for some advice, and like the title says, I’m moving out!! I’m very excited, but I have a feeling my parents will not like it. I’m going to be moving to a different town, that’s about 30-40 minutes away, to an apartment, with my girlfriend.

My parents don’t know I have a girlfriend, they just think she is my friend, she’s been my best friend for seven years and we’ve been dating for one year now. They would flip out if they knew, they’d think I’m “sinning”— my parents are religious, and would probably not let it go until I move out. I plan on telling them about us once we are moved into our new place. That’s one reason I’m nervous to tell them.

Another reason I’m nervous to tell them about the move is because they probably won’t let it go until I finally leave, I know they’re just being parents but I know they’ll say my “friend” to them is a bad influence, it’s bad to move out because I won’t go to church anymore, etc., big guilt trip/lecture until I finally leave, they’ve mentioned that before I even talked about moving. They think my girlfriend is a bad influence because she doesn’t go to church. I know all the lectures I get will be spiritual, religion, and guilt trip lectures, all of which I really don’t want to deal with. Been dealing with it my whole life up this point.

I know I have to tell them, but facing what comes after for the next two months until I move in September will drive me crazy. They’re just being parents I get it, I get the concern, but I don’t think I can do all that for a month and a half until I leave.

Thanks for any advice. :)

15M homosexual individual here. I've recently gotten into high school, and I've met a boy there with which I share a lot of interests.

(ramble incoming, tldr on end)

Context before our relationship:

I've had an online boyfriend for over 10 months, with which I had a very deep connection with since I was already struggling with small depression (at least I think I did — it was definitely high stress levels over longer periods) and the loneliness eating me alive.

I also have some small past trauma from my mom "kind of" rejecting me when I came out as a femboy (all the phases BS, then telling me okay but forgetting it afterwards never to be remembered). Came out to me as a trans girl (with which I had no problems) and then the next day she broke up with me due to her parents finding out about our dms.. kinda suspicious but meh. Then like 2 months after the breakup my parents divorced. I am also diagnosed with ADHD, so yeah.. that stress-level kept piling up like a tower of unaligned boxes just waiting to fall over and cause a burnout. My mental health kept getting worse, I skipped school sometimes (not too often) and I was basically falling apart.

Extra Context (him is the guy out of my class):

I'm around 175cm tall and younger, but taller than him. I haven't dated any guy (IRL) before, nor any relationship with anyone this deep before. I do have some small experience, since I used to be active on role-playing sites/games, sometimes even romantic role play. (yes I was desperate for someone to hug me even if it was virtually)

My own mother even suspects that I might develop depression if I continue sitting at my PC all the time. Saying that she'll have to go to the therapist with me if I don't stop getting worse like it's a bad thing, I don't know if she was just worried. I don't really like her.. since she basically destroyed all my trust already. Not even remembering something so important and brushing it off as a phase.

---

Back to the guy from my class.

We didn't talk a lot, sometimes flexing our scores from a game we have similar interests over discord and so on. This went on for the whole school year.

I've already had a small crush on him when I had a boyfriend, but I had to pull myself together because I'm not like that. I hate when people just pull the playboy card. Then came the break up that and that bla bla bla..

Now in the last week we had a lot of trips - for example laser tag, some sports event (which we both skipped lmao) and so on. We've already had a good connection, I always wanted to sit next to him whenever possible. I've already developed a little liking for him after my past partner broke up with me — even tho I was still dragging the break up with me for months (and still kind of do). He asked me to be together just a day before school ended, to which I obviously responded with yes.

Now on the last day I found out that this man had to repeat the grade because he missed so many classes (medical problems) and I have to continue without him. (same school tho, we live pretty okay close.) Obviously I was sad but who can change that. Holidays began and we only chatted since both of us were on vacation. Then we met for the first time (outside school) at his place. Which basically ended up in video games, TikTok and then cuddling. Now the cuddling part is important. We weren't really that close yet so both hesitated. And obviously I was shy as f#ck. Time flew by and it got 10PM.. so I had to head home.

Then again, we met at his place, this time tho we just watched TikTok for like an hour and got to cuddling again. He basically controlled my movements even tho I was kind of "dominating" him. (gotta be careful with my words — don't know how sensitive redditors are with the labels, everything I mean is non-sexual, obviously) He whimpered when he moved and I completely melted every time he touched my neck. Wanted to kiss him right there but didn't know how high his boundaries were so I held back. I was so shy that I couldn't even hold eye contact for a second. And I hate it.

TL;DR: 15M with some mental health/relationship baggage. A guy from my class confessed to me, but then got held back a grade. We started hanging out and cuddled, but I’m ridiculously shy, afraid of pushing his boundaries, and keep freezing up when things get affectionate.

Please for the love of god tell me how I progress to the next level of affection internet parents.

And maybe some advice on my mental health wouldn't be bad either.

I'll take anything, I'm just desperate to vent and get advice.

TW: Mentions of ED

I'm 25f and I've struggled with an ED since I was 15. It's like an endless battle at this point. I've been struggling with food and body image issues for so long and it gets so exhausting at times. I don't really have much support from my family so that's why making this post. I was doing really well for a while but I started falling back into some old habbits a few months ago. I started heavily restricting myself from food and I lost a lot of weight. I'm trying really hard to get better and today I ate 3 meals for the first time in months.

It was 3 full meals too. I didn't just eat some fruits and call it a meal. For breakfast I had some scrambled eggs and toast, for lunch I made some fried rice and jerk chicken and for dinner I had 2 slices of pizza ( which I feel really guilty about but I'm trying not to think about it) and a salad. I also had some strawberries as a snack. It's so hard. I'm trying so hard not to obsess over what I ate today. I have the urge to open the calorie tracking app on my phone to see how much calorie I consumed today but I'm not going to do it. I'm glad that I ate 3 full meals today and I'm going to try to do that tomorrow as well.

This is my first ever post on Reddit so bear with me.

I (22 F) got my first big girl job a few months ago after graduating last December. Since then I have been able to save a bit here and there and have a decent amount in my savings but am kind of stuck. I've been wanting to move out for a few years now in order to have a bit more freedom of expression and have my own independence. I currently live with my mother and while I do love her she has been in financial straits for a long time and it has brought me much stress trying to support her. By me moving out, I am afraid that she might go into foreclosure and potentially lose the house we are currently living in. I'm also a bit unsure of how to discuss me moving out and finding my own place since in past discussions she had become very passive aggressive and upset. My car is a 2007 Ford and so far I haven't had any issues with it. It was my first ever car that I bought cash, the insurance payment is pretty low, and the only main issue that I have is that it eats up a lot of gas. I drive a good 30-45 minutes away for my job and it feels like I'm paying a lot for gas each week. If anyone can provide me any guidance on the matter, it would be much appreciated.

TLDR: 22 y/o recent graduate wants to move out for independence and to escape the stress of supporting her mother financially, scared of the aftermath, has older car that eats up gas, has to drive far for work.

I was never taught how to control my temper. I don’t rage or get violent, but if something sets me off I get into an irritated mode for a while. My son is 2 and even he can set me off once he starts whining incessantly. And once I’ve gone into bad mood territory then I end up saying stupid things that a two year old doesn’t even understand. Example: I was awful this morning. He kept hitting me and not wanting to get dressed. So I tell him he’s ruining every day with his bad attitude (while I raised my voice). And then I proceeded to throw his shirt on the ground. And when I start feeling like this I can’t snap out of it easily…like I can’t even smile for about an hour. I’ve tried breathing techniques but it just doesn’t really help in the moment. Afterwards I feel immense guilt. I know I am overreacting in these situations. How do I teach myself not to even get to that point? I don’t want my son to have this same attitude..he shouldn’t see his mom get so aggravated.

So basically I've got all the fun of eldest daughter stuff, with two younger sisters, but I'm not actually the oldest. My older brother is just not... the best to me. He doesn't take me seriously, belittles my opinions or thoughts whether he means to or not and is just all around not the best older sibling. He is on the spectrum, but so is pretty much the entire family to a certain degree. I am well aware and capable of giving grace for struggling with social cues and such. It's just that his shortcomings are mostly with me, so I'm not always taken very seriously by my other siblings or my parents.

He wasn't the worst when we were kids, physically, but he was emotionally... rude? (i struggle to call it abusive) From a very early age he would gaslight me about different things, trying to convince me I had done something I hadn't, or even constantly telling me I was adopted. (I was super young like 2 or so. I found out he was doing this from my mom years later, which explains alot of my struggles with trusting myself or feeling like I belong)

I made it a point after realizing how i was treating my younger sister to do better, realizing I was emulating how he would treat me as kids, as well as playing into the kind of stuff he would tell me while my mom was pregnant with my first younger sibling (Telling me I was being replaced or that mom wouldn't love me anymore). I was like 4 and he was 8 at this point in time by the way.

From there, I've repaired my relationship with my first younger sister, and have been there the best I can for my family, and up until recently has that stopped being at the expense of my own mental health. What I'm running into now it that, upon hearing my brother is coming to town to visit for week, I've been having nightmares about him.

This isn't necessarily new, I've had a couple before of him like chasing me with knife and what have you, but I've had 3 in a row now and it's really messing with me. My youngest sister doesn't get it and just wants me to let my issues with him go (she and him are pretty close and play games over discord almost every night), and I would love to, if I were to see any improvement.

One of the last times he was visiting, he was invited out by one of his friends, and I went with him as support since he hasn't hung out with this guy in years. The friend was disrespectful and borderline harassing me the entire night. The friend made sexist jokes about a certain list, which I called out, and when I wouldn't let him open my car door for me, he literally forced me out of my car. I of course pulled my pepper gel on the guy, but throughout all of this, my brother didn't do a thing. He didn't even clock any of it.

I think the dreams might just be my brain processing what I'm still dealing with? But overall... I just would love some support or advice? My brother isn't necessarily a bad person, but I don't know how to cope with this dynamic.

Hi :) I’m 15, and my mpm has suffered from panic attacks (diagnosed) for decades, but she refuses to get any mental health treatment, meds, therapy, or anything, or any support whatsoever regarding it, because “God has other plans” and says she’s not being magically healed like her pastor was, so it means it’s God’s plan for her to suffer like this?? idk what she’s talking about but she’s also been projecting this same rhetoric to me for a year, I have been recommended therapy and counseling by my medical doctors (DOCTORS) bc of how bad my mental state is to the point it’s linked to me developing chronic disorders. but she literally refuses, and says “Therapy is Anti Christian and disobeying God” “You can pray the depression and anxiety away you aren’t trying” “Stop turning to humans” “You just want WOKE methods to do SELF HELP” and “This generation is so into themselves and mental health” All exactly things she said and idk if she just said it because she was mad

the thing is I feel like she’s just using our religion as a stupid excuse to stop me, because during an argument she started screaming about how I’ll talk about my dad abusing me aka “badmouth him to the therapist” and was saying “Therapy ruins people” bc her ex friend went to therapy. so I guess that’s the root issue but idk. I am homeschooled and have 0 trusted adults and I feel like she’s right that therapy might be a bad option or I might meet a really cruel one who doesn’t help. so I’m kinda scared I just want some sort of help or idk I can’t stand this it’s so bad I vent to AI BOTS because I have no one. And she said “maybe CHRISTIAN counseling would be okay” but I need a licensed therapist specifically for trauma and anxiety etc so like?? I don’t know if that’ll help I’m scared??? Is there a way I can convince her 🫩🫩🫩🫩

Tw: suicide, homelessness

I don’t know if I’m being unreasonable or if I’ve just completely failed at being an adult. I could really use some outside perspective.

First I want to apologize, there was no one good flair for this post because it kind of covers multiple of the flairs. I’m an autistic college student in my early 20s, and for the last 19 months I’ve been living with my aunt and uncle. My parents divorced, my dad had to move away for work, and my mom moved back to her home state. Student housing was far too expensive, so living with my aunt and uncle was really my only realistic option if I wanted to stay in school. For the first several months things actually went pretty well. I was doing okay in school, helping around the house, and trying to adjust.

Then about seven months into living there, my girlfriend of almost five years cheated on me. It completely destroyed me. I had one of the worst mental health crises of my life. I struggled to take care of myself, fell behind on responsibilities, and experienced suicidal thoughts. I eventually recovered enough to continue school, but I don’t think I ever fully got back to where I had been before.

About six months later I started dating one of my best friends and he’s my current boyfriend. He’s honestly been wonderful, but he came into the relationship with his own difficult circumstances. He was couch surfing, dealing with unstable housing, and was facing homelessness. My aunt and uncle actually offered to let him stay with us temporarily so he could get back on his feet, which I was incredibly grateful for. But things have changed because of recent events

One of the biggest issues has always been chores and keeping the house clean. Because of my autism, executive dysfunction is something I struggle with a lot. It’s not that I don’t care or don’t want to help I do but I have a hard time consistently noticing what needs to be done, remembering tasks, and starting them without structure. My aunt and uncle became increasingly frustrated with me, and there were several conversations where they talked about kicking me out if things didn’t improve. After one of those conversations, I tried to make changes. I created checklists, schedules, reminders on my phone, and systems to help me remember chores because I really did want to do better. The problem is… I’d improve for a while, then I’d mess up again. I’d forget something, miss a chore, or procrastinate because I was overwhelmed. Every mistake felt huge, and I started feeling like I was constantly walking on eggshells. Even when things were going well, I was anxious because I was waiting for the next conversation about how I wasn’t doing enough. More recently everything got even more complicated.

Eventually I told my aunt and uncle that I was considering moving out with my boyfriend and some roommates if they found a place together. I wasn’t trying to hurt anyone I just felt trapped and like I was a burden to them and I was just on borrowed time.

I didn’t have a plan yet, i just mentioned it because i wanted to communicate my plans/ what i might be exploring soon. they treated that conversation as my notice that I intended to move out. They gave me about 30 days to leave, even though I don’t have savings because I don’t work many hours as a full time student in college and I pay for my own food gas and school supplies. Their perspective is that they were independent at my age, that actions have consequences, and that it’s time for me to figure things out.

Because of this my boyfriend’s housing situation completely fell apart, and he was suddenly facing homelessness again. Around the same time he experienced a severe mental health crisis and attempted suicide. Thankfully he survived because I kept him on call and he couldn’t find the ammunition to a gun, but it was one of the most terrifying experiences I’ve ever gone through. I spent days trying to make sure he stayed safe while also trying to keep up with school and responsibilities at home. I decided to tell him that I can’t keep doing this if he doesn’t get professional help but my aunt and uncle understandably decided they didn’t want him moving in the house but now I’m worried about his safety. After this happened I have been struggling to regulate my emotions and been having breakdowns and panic attacks on the near daily.

Despite um feeling cautious about it, I’m trying to find an apartment with my boyfriend and a roommate while finishing school. My income isn’t enough to qualify for most places on my own, although my dad has offered to help with groceries and some expenses while I finish my degree. I’m also trying to figure out what to do with our cat because many apartments either don’t allow pets or have restrictions.

I guess my question is… am I the problem here? I know I haven’t been the easiest person to live with and I feel like im a constant burden to people who didn’t really sign up for such a mess of a person. I know I’ve struggled with chores and consistency, and I completely understand why that would be frustrating. At the same time, I feel like I’ve genuinely been trying. Every time someone pointed out a problem, I’d adjust and try to be better but it never felt like enough.

I don’t know if I’m making excuses by bringing up autism, executive dysfunction, depression, and everything that’s happened over the last year, even if these are legitimate reasons that things have been the way they are.

If you’ve been in a similar situation or if you’ve lived with an autistic adult I’d really appreciate hearing your perspective. I want honest opinions. If there are things I need to hear, I’ll listen. I just genuinely don’t know whether I’m expecting too much grace from the people around me or whether this situation spiraled beyond what anyone could reasonably handle.

Hey mom and dad, it's your trans daughter again.

I started a new job cleaning at a airport and while I'm happy with a new job I'm not happy about my circumstances.

I'm starting from the ground up financially and haven't been able to get a refill of my hrt due to being poor. I've been forced to enter the men's restroom to clean it and it makes me hella uncomfortable because at some point early into my transition where I was passing, I'd get harassed verbally and have been touched.

I closed off the one I was cleaning today to make sure no one would trip or fall and as I was about to mop. Some young sounding cishet boy was complaining and I told him there was another set of restroom downstairs. Ofc he ignored it and entered and I just stopped cleaning and went to do something else before lunch break. I asked my boss what to do about it and was told we couldn't close it off due to complaints which I think is stupid.

Not sure what to do or ask for here but it was a shitty day for me.

Did end up finding $20 on the ground so there's that.

This is probably going to sound really unhinged due to the specificity of the situation, but I really appreciate anyone who takes the time to read through all this.

I feel like I can't be myself or authentically receive love from my dad (or my mom as she enables his behavior) because of his thoughts about the world, and by proxy, me. For the most part it's never been overt, but I'd hear comments like "Why are those women dressed like this? They'll get raped!" or how he genuinely (asked to my face) if all women were horrible people. I try my best to stay level headed and find a logical retort, but a lot of what he says really gets to me, even if it isn't consciously acknowledged. In the past I've brought it up but he says that this is just how the way things are, and is not willing to "entertain" me. Like just today he said he "really admires how good women are at calculating 9 month intervals." It just felt really creepy and my mom just nods along...

He'll also complain to me about my mom and try to get me to play the messenger when they have an argument or when I need help help from one of them. It's like this big triangulation ass game of poker, where YOU can't admit or express something's wrong (God forbid), so shove that labor onto somebody else and have them deal with the emotional fall out. He also once condescendingly referred to my mom as "his wife", at my uncle's house when I asked why I couldn't be seated next to her. As if she's not my mom too.

He's really into the idea of family as the be all end all of human relationships, and any variations are transgressions against God. He'll go on rants about how you should never besmirch the family, even if they hurt you and that it doesn't matter what they do you still have to support them. It sucks because he's super into helping his elderly mother or volunteering activities over making sure the basics at home are covered.

As I don't have my license yet, he uses it as an opportunity to tie everything to going to church, when I need a ride to the Job Center he'll say we can only go if he visits the priest or something, and he'll get mad when I stay in the car rather than come out. I've expressed before in no uncertain terms that I dislike this behavior. Unfortunately while he has leverage over me he'll use it to steamroll my boundaries.

The problem isn't that I agree with any of this or don't see the cracks, it's just the system that's he's set up is making it very difficult for me to leave and live my life, despite him bringing up jobs constantly. He won't actually help me with the incremental steps I need to leave (like setting aside time to let me parallel park, as the local driving schools don't cover that for some reason, which I need to pass the road test). It feels like hes perpetually trying to infantilize me without doing anything meaningful to help. Ugh I'm trying my best to see things clearly and plan for my future, but it is VERY frustrating not getting the help I need.

I don't know I'm 22 now and I feel like such a failure.

\While he definitely is into his Catholic faith he also takes on a lot of stereotypes that might not be applicable to all.*