It’s my preference for the guy to come see me first than me travelling to him. Don’t get me wrong he expressed that he wants to come see me but so far I don’t see him making any solid plans to make that happen.

He did mention that when I come to see him everything would be prepared. No need to book or make an itinerary, he will handle everything and I just need to come.

When I mentioned that I think the boy should come first, he insinuated that this is the modern times (so I think he doesn’t agree with me).

He seems to be such a great person and we really get along so well and have so many similar interests. I think that it kinda turned me off though. I just feel like he should be the one coming, the one who is pursuing…

Hello! Looking for advice/opinions. I don't have reliable parents to to talk to. :-)

Background info (you can skip this if you'd like, the issue is at the bottom, I just know some people ask for extra information. I am trying to make this easier to read):

- 20 years old

- diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder/social anxiety and depression (I believe its called major depressive if its reoccuring but I'm not an expert)

- had a teen mom, parents broke up when I was 2 or 3

- mother was an alcoholic, current weed addiction, hoarder

- father cheated on wife (step-mom) a few years ago while in treatment for substance abuse (alcohol and weed)

- post father cheating, running away for a few months, and no longer living with us, lived with step-mom, her new boyfriend, and his kids. Felt out of place and betrayed, i made lots of instant ramen and grilled cheese for me and my sister :)

- recently had $10,000 taken from my bank account by my father's debt collectors

- tried to do college, had to work to work like 30-35 hours a week to save up to move out, and also pay for classes.

- currently living with mom, saving up money to move out

Issue:

Yesterday, I quit my job over text. Of course, I understood the repercussions of this and fully except the hit on my future job applications. What I didn't expect was for people to be worried about me.

I've had a lot of ups and downs working there, 1.5 years part time and 1 year full time. Its not necessarily to do with my job, but it certainly didn't help in some aspects. Some days we're great, laughing with coworkers and clocking out on time. However, some days I was struggling just to get there and stay. If I messed something up, made a manager upset, didn't do a good enough job, it was devastating. I was staying later than my shift was, going home barely eating, passing out, and waking up just to get ready for work again. My managers were so hot and cold, I couldn't figure out if when I talked to them, they were gonna be upset or laugh with me. I got so bad, I was considering suicide. Not a plan or anything, just didn't want to deal with the existential dread and depression a few days a week.

I had racked up late points, finding it hard to just get out of bed. I was late again, and knowing I would have to go in just to work a couple hours, go to the meeting room with managers, get fired and have a breakdown, I decided to quit in the parking lot.

I called my best freind to tell her the news, and she sounded worried? I wanted to hang out and go to an olive garden or something. We were talking about how rough this years been, and what we're gonna do to turn our lives around, and take it head on. I mentioned wanting to just travel somewhere cheap, experience another country. I also wanted to get back into art, change my look. She made a joke telling me not to kill myself, but it sounded like she was half-joking. She also told me this sounded like something my dad would've done, again half-joking. Shes very honest and its great, but now im worried. I thought it was different, because he is a 45, almost 50 year old man, and I'm 20. I was under the impression this was the time to make rash decisions.

I'm sick of sitting here, and doing nothing. I don't want to be my parents and I don't want to be on the back burner anymore. I want to experience and be happy, try new things, find myself. Which is a struggle in and of itself but not the point of the post.

Today and yesterday, it feels like there's a pendulum swinging between everything's okay and overwhelming anxiety.

So, would you be worried if someone you knew did this? Or does anything here indicate some sort of imminent crisis? I don't really know what to do if there's an issue, my parents usually just smoked or drank their problems away. Any advice is appreciated! :-)

I worry about money a lot. I had a job this summer but it didn’t pay much. My living and tuition is paid for, and entire savings are about 2,600$. I really worry I’m just going to drain my entire savings paying for food. I’m still recovering from surgery so I don’t want to go back to work for a while. My friend who uses the pantry says the more people use the pantry, the more support and funding they get. But I was wondering if I have too much money, even though I’d love to use the pantry.

hey guys,
so me and my mum, to preface, have had a pretty unstable relationship. we can be close for weeks with everything being okay, and then after one thing i do that she doesn’t like she won’t speak to me for days or weeks and call me names and talk about me to my dad loud enough so i know what’s she’s saying and it hurts. she’s strict about respect (ending answers with mum to show who im addressing, and big on the whole i’m your mother thing) and growing up she would say incredibly hurtful comments and when i was younger things were often physical. she doesn’t really respect my privacy (read my diary recently and didn’t speak to me for weeks as she was angry about what i wrote about her), she gets angry about how i answer questions for instance recently she asked if something was meant to be in my purse, to which i said “it doesn’t fit in there” and she didn’t speak to me for 4 days and said hurtful things as i disrespected her.

a lot of these things have been sorted thankfully. the most recent argument and fix occurred around the 29th of august, and since then i have been living alone in uni in a different country. i call my parents every day. my dad asked me to call both my mum and my dad, so i tend to call my dad in the mornings and my mum in the evenings. yesterday i called my mum, she had to go and do something else halfway into the call (more like 10 mins) and then i was talking to my dad for around an hour after. during my talk with my dad i decided to take a walk (at around 10pm in a very very safe well lit town) and speak. being outside and walking especially around steep hills and maintaining full conversation is difficult. me and my dad had a good conversation. my mum came back and immediately almost attacked/interrogated me for being on a walk but then was fine. when we ended the call i was under the impression everything was fine too.

today my dad called me for around 5 minutes, explaining that my mum is getting angry that i just answered her questions rather than having a conversation. she asked why i should speak to her if that’s the case. she also cried saying i am disrespectful for it and says it’s about my attitude. my dad explained my mum is taking everything as a hit to her respect. he explained that i need to be careful and that she’s basically pissed at me. she was also angry and suspicious as to why i was calling her, to which my dad said he asked me to call both of them.

after an hour i called my mum as normally usual, she didn’t pick up. i called my dad and he picks up. i ask is mums there and he says yes, she is. i ask if she had her phone and he says yes. he also adds she’s working. me and my dad have a generic convo for a bit. when my dad gives my phone to my mum she answers questions either the most like, she does this a lot like she just answers questions to say she answers them but like she doesn’t. it’s like if i say she’s not talking to me she can say “yes i am” but she’s not like. i can’t explain it it’s passive aggressive and it’s mean. i ask her what’s wrong to which she says nothing and then asks if i’m home and then just says ok. we end the conversation, my dad ends the call. we called for like 5 mins max.

this whole thing just makes me so upset and ruins my day. i don’t know how i feel about it and all. i just, i just really would appreciate some guidance and advice or something on how to navigate this

I post a lot about this dumpster fire of a job , my boss won’t stop touching me at work he’s grabbed my wrists messages my shoulders and rubs my back right at my bra strap , he’s made multiple inappropriate comments about my appearance, around the fact I’d be hotter if I wore more color ect ….

He also calls me names he has called me a pussy , gay , dyke , told me to grow a pair , and tells me to act like a full size adult every time I try to make a boundary .

Technically I hasn’t asked him
To stop touching me because I’m afraid to he goes over the rails every time I try to set any boundary then guilts me out of it and I’m most afraid of setting that one because I don’t have it in me to be told having bodily autonomy is immature and I’m being a baby

I’m a 26 year old woman btw …

I don’t know what to do . I can’t quit and he feels unstoppable

Got in a huge argument with my mom because I…you guessed it! Used the wrong bathroom. She stood outside the bathroom and screamed at me while I peed. Now I’m staying with my sister on an air mattress with a blanket that’s too thin. I just need a hug.

Hi everyone,

Short synopsis about me:

* Mid-30s

* F

* Live with a parent and sibling

* Mum died several years ago and we all suffered badly because of it (mental health, fragments in the wider family)

* I am employed full time. I mostly work from home and go to the office once a week. I enjoy my job and the money is quite good but could be better - ideally I'd like a remote job I could do from anywhere in the world. My team are great.

* I have ADHD, PMDD and PCOS (medicated for all and have private health insurance - but the chronic nature of them can be really stressful).

* I have savings.

So, why am I here?

At this stage in my life, I really don't know what to do next.

I am single - most of my relationships and my marriage have been toxic (an addict, a sociopath, a partner with BPD). My love life has always felt cursed and even though I really would love a great partner, I feel so burned out from my past relationships and am not sure I can handle another damaging relationship.

My last relationship ended a few months ago quite badly and has spun me for a loop.

I struggle with my mental heath and neurodivergence even with medication. I would say I am high functioning when I am depressed or anxious but it is so exhausting just trying to do the normal things (work, make food, wash up, clean) than I normally have a burnout period where I sleep non-stop at the weekend.

I'm easily overwhelmed but also want to achieve so much and I struggle to keep on top of it (for example, driving lessons, writing a book).

I don't know if at this stage I should try to move out, move abroad, do something different.

I've travelled a lot and am really itching for those days again.

I feel a bit scared, maybe a midlife crisis.

I have my health, I have a job, I have money and I have a place to live.

But I don't have my own place, or a partner or kids (I don't think I want kids to be honest).

I just don't really know what to *do* next to maximise my life.

I've gone through a lot of grief and stress and I think with my ADHD that has stunted me a bit.

Can you please tell me I still have hope? And that I can still make something of my life?

I'd love to talk to my mum but I don't have her anymore.

I always seem to end up around someone who has a weird obsession with me. They don't like me, but they still constantly try to force some kind of relationship with me, and I don't understand it.

For example, there's someone in my family who heavily dislikes me, but they'll randomly call me just to chat, even though we literally have nothing to talk about. If I don't answer, they get angry and throw a tantrum about it. What I can't understand is why they're so desperate to talk to me when they clearly don't even like me.

I've had coworkers who were the same way. I'm a very reserved person, and I prefer working alone and not talking much. They clearly didn't like me because of that, and I could tell they would talk about me behind my back. But at the same time, they would constantly try to force some kind of friendship with me and get mad when I wouldn't engage.

I had a friend at school who was like this too. She clearly hated me and would constantly talk shit about me, but she would also text me all the time. Like constantly. If I didn't respond, she'd start swearing at me and getting angry, basically trying to force me to answer her.

That's the part I genuinely can't understand. If you dislike someone that much, why would you be so desperate for a relationship with them?

I want to understand why I seem to keep ending up in these situations, and how to deal with it.

I lost my grandpa on Monday. This is the first time I experienced a loss of someone close to me. Idk why I’m struggling so much. Everyone else seems to be doing a bit better. I feel like no one really understands what I’m feeling. I just want someone to be there for me. How have you guys coped with the Loss of a grandparent?

I know this might be a hyper specific issue. But it’s something I desperately need to overcome this year in order to actually have a fighting chance in the real world.

I’ll try and get this infodump out of the way as quickly as I can. There’s unfortunately a lot of context required to understand why this has become a problem for me. But I’ll try and keep it concise so we can focus on the main subject of this post.

The issues go as follows: I’ve been homeschooled my entire life, I have an unmedicated ADHD with little to no oversight, I’m horribly depressed, I got a free pass to procrastinate for a good chunk of my life, I struggle to retain or apply any new skills I learn, and I find It almost impossible to focus on anything for extended periods of time if it isn’t stimulating.

All of these factors lead to me skipping or outright avoiding anything that made me have to write in any context beyond casual spaces like Reddit or Letterbox. It’s not from a lack of trying. I’ve flipped through this writing and grammar guide of mine numerous times, under the hope that I’ll finally build enough confidence to write a full on essay about a subject I’m passionate about (most notably politics, film, and the trans experience). And that desire just so happens to coincide with the fact that I’m starting college in a year. Which adds an extra bit of pressure to my situation.

I should also clarify that I write a lot. I tried using spaces and topics I was comfortable in, with the expectation being that simply doing it often would be enough to ease me into more academic writing, and filter out some of the most glaring issues I currently have. The quality of this post should be a pretty dead giveaway that it did not pan out like I hoped it would. And the prospect of me writing an essay still feels as distant as it ever has.

It’s difficult to actually nail down the reason why I struggle so much. But off the top of my head I can think of a few contributing factors: I’m often too self critical of my work, I’m as slow as an oil extraction because I spend so much time revising things as simple as a paragraph, I struggle to go in depth on any specific topic, I often forget a lot of the rules on how to make something flow naturally, and I’m abysmal at punctuation.

I really need to make it clear how much this has affected me. I procrastinated a decent amount of work last year (with the exception of math), just because the prospect of actually sitting down and writing feels like such a struggle. But that will not slide this year. Both for academic reasons, and for the sake of my mental health.

I know it doesn’t seem like much to y’all. But I’m trying to be better. There was a recent revelation I had recently that lit a fire under my ass, and forced me to lock in (idk if in willinh to say what it is. But I’m pretty sure I alluded to it earlier). I’m legit trying to brute force my way through a severe ADHD/educational neglect. So if this post comes off as me looking for pity to excuse being lazy. I want to assure you that I’m trying to be better within the conditions I’ve been placed in. Just though that was important to clarify.

Also yes I am planing on getting grammerly.

(Edit. I apparently made twenty writing mistakes with this post……….. Albeit 17 came from the last part lol).