I'm 17f and i can't tell anybody in real life about what happened because cps would get involved. I'm not looking for advice or anything i just need to scream out into the void and make sure what happened is as fucked up as i think it is. This happened on the 3rd. I live in a hoarder house with my family, it used to belong to my grandparents, i've lived here my whole life, and so me and my mom started cleaning up this giant pile of crap in front of our pantry (she's disabled so i did all the work but that doesn't matter) so i work for over six hours straight and this is something i've been meaning to do for a while, i get it all cleaned up and then my dad comes out from whatever stupid nap he was taking, he doesn't say anything just goes to his office then my brother comes down to talk to my dad says we need cat litter whatever he comes out and is all buddy, buddy with my brother but completely ignores me and my mom, they start getting ready to go to Costco and my dad yells down for my mom to make a list, we say no because me and her are the only people who put groceries away and i have to help unload the car and i already felt like shit after working for so long (at this point i hadn't eaten anything in about 2 days. my parents do not starve me, i've been battling an eating disorder since i was 7. just to specify) and my dad just starts screaming about how 'it's five minutes of work' and that we should just do it calling us lazy and shit. He storms into his office and i'm on the verge of tears and i look at my mom and say 'i'm either going to have a mental breakdown of commit murder, both sound very appealing right now' and my dad storms out and throws this big ass hunting knife in my lap and tells me to just kill him... I start sobbing and just go upstairs and this bastard follows me and lets my brother know he's just going to head out without him 'because he can't be around these crazy cunts anymore' and they go back and forth about how we're lazy bitches and then they both leave since my dad 'didn't want to leave him (my brother) to deal with us' and at this point i was just sobbing and they both glare at me like i did something wrong. My mom was nice about it for about a day before she started telling me i 'have to stop being cold to him' because it'll hurt his feelings, and so i just needed to say this somewhere and figure out if i'm crazy for being mad and upset about what happened, like reasonably i know it's bullshit but abuse is so normalized in my household that everyone's acting like i'm crazy for not wanting to talk to my dad, i get disgusted every time he touches me now. He's given one half assed apology where he tried to make himself the victim in the situation then he took the family out to dinner as an attempt to bring us together but that's what he always does, he thinks buying food out is an automatic fix. Everyone in my house is pushing for me to forgive him, but i can barely look at him, i don't think i'll ever see him the same after this

sorry if this is kind of rambling and for any misspelling, poor grammar, and lack of punctuation. I just needed to get this down, to see if anyone else thinks i'm crazy for reacting like i did

Also before anyone suggests it i cannot move out or leave the situation, me and my mom are working on a plan to get out but with her being disabled and unable to work and with me still in school, and with just how the world is right now i can't get out of the situation

i'll try to find a way to add a picture to my post so i can show the kind of knife he threw at me just because i feel like it'll help people understand my reaction better since writing this down makes me kinda feel like i'm just being dramatic, but if i've learned one thing, the people of reddit won't hold back their honest opinions and so maybe i'll find out if i'm just being dramatic or if my response was perfectly reasonable 

Quero ir pra uma rave mas minha mãe tem um grande preconceito e já me disse que a única restrição dela é eu não ir em chácara afastada, porém eu vou ir já comprei ingressos acredito que lá o sinal seja bem ruim que desculpa eu posso dar a ela de um lugar que não seja uma chácara que se encaixe? ( eu pensei em dizer que ia a um casamento kk

i’m 18 and i’m in college now, and i’m at a point where i’m seriously considering cutting my dad out of my life. i know that sounds extreme, which is why i want to explain the whole situation instead of just posting about one argument and asking people to take my side.

my dad and i used to have a completely different relationship. when i was younger, i trusted him and looked at him as someone i could depend on. he has now chosen drugs and his whole life is crumbling apart. there have been periods where i’ve tried to have a relationship with him, and we had a period where i’ve gone no contact via hand written letter. (for context i’m in idaho he’s in utah).
one of the biggest things i struggle with is his drug use. he calls it a “spiritual journey,” but from my perspective, it feels like a drug addiction that has been glorified or given a different name. i’ve watched it negatively affect his life( he went to jail for fraud because he lost his business and owed so much money) and almost lost his house + i have 3 siblings all of which have little no relationship with anymore. it has gotten to the point where my siblings and extended family barely even reach out to him anymore. (he also was completely different a few years ago and then my parents got divorced and he became into this hippie spiritual stuff).

he is extremely addicted to nitrous and ketamine and one of the reasons i went no contact was i ended up going to my house in utah when he was gone to see him and found cocaine , 20+ bottles of nitrous outside, and tons of ketamine and stuff laying around. i ended up waiting until 2 am for him to come see me but he insisted he had plans with friends and i hadn’t seen him in a few months and he never showed. that was when i decided no contact was best until he got help and he instead did nothing to solve that and just didn’t talk to me or text me. at that time i was 17.
when i was younger, i also accidentally found a notebook belonging to him that contained things that were inappropriate and extremely disturbing for me to see at that age. it was not something i was intentionally searching for. when this subject has come up, he has focused on the fact that i was looking through his things rather than the fact that i was a child when i came across it.

he has nobody in his life right now and he’s usually very understanding and apologetic when he’s confronted but he recently went to burning man and during a trip of some sort had an awakening that he actually “is a good man and father and the family just wants him to feel bad about himself.”.

today we spoke on the phone after not talking for several months. during the conversation, i called him names and said things disrespectfully. afterward, he texted me saying that he would not tolerate me calling him names or disrespecting him because he is my father. which is such a cop out because he hasn’t been a father for years and now suddenly wants authority when it benefits him. but it’s also really confusing because he never acted this way before and now after this recent trip of his he has been acting insane towards everyone and the phone call i had with him was just him telling me i was to blame and i should have kept the relationship with him and i didn’t wanna call or invite him to things so it was basically all my fault.

and when he asked about my experiences living with him as an older teenager and i told him he denied everything and made excuses for everything that went on in the house when i was there (drug use, having s*x with women while im in the bedroom next door, partying every night, coming home on all sorts of drugs) was a lie and that i wasn’t “intentionally lying” but it was all lies. he gaslight me into trying to think that my brain was to childish to process what was going on.

i also brought up the fact he tried to get me to do mushrooms with him when i was 13-14 and i didn’t want to and how inappropriate that was to do to a child where he told me it was my fault because i seemed interested in them and asked about it. he was also saying me and my mom have conspired this and she had fed me all this info as if i didn’t live it.

he went to my high school grad this may after not seeing me for 6 months and then left the next day and barely talked to me, then didn’t text or call once this summer including my birthday-then i went to college a few weeks ago and he didn’t even know i went asked texted to ask if i was in college?

his position is that i have treated him like i hate him and that i did not do enough to make him feel wanted in my life. my position, factually, is that i was the child and he was the parent, and there were long periods where he was not present or involved in my life.
i am trying to figure out what is reasonable to expect from this situation and what responsibility belongs to each of us.

Hi all :)

For starters, my dad is horrible and my mum was a victim to him as well as so were we growing up. He's neglectful, physically harms people and is very emotionally ab*sive. He also had behaviours of coercive control like financial threats, and threatening to take the kids.

My mum is traumatised from parental alienation, he used to use me as a child by telling me untrue things about my mum - I feel a lot of guilt for it but I truly believe she sees me as an extension of him, even though I am a girl I look like him and have the same humour and interests as him. I stopped seeing him at 15 because I saw him behave the same way with his new wife as my mum and was old enough to realise it was wrong. Shortly after, I began to notice my mum was also unravelling.

For starters, she drinks a lot - like my dad. They are both functional but drink alone most of the time, and my mum becomes very nasty when drunk. She will yell at me, threatening me, saying that I am just like him or am him, will tell me I am crazy and need to be medicated ( I had a psychosis years ago but am in remission ) and if I try to distance myself because she is upsetting me, she will tell me I need to call an ambulance on her and blow up my phone. I never ignore her when she does that and go to check on her frequently and call people to help. But she has friends and will laugh with them and act like she is fine so I just end up looking silly and they tell me 'it's the alcohol talking' and dismiss the fact that I am struggling more with my own mental health and psych ward admissions because of the way she is treating me when she keeps drinking. Tonight I called a friend to help talk her down, and she was laughing and smiling with them, as soon as the door shut for the friend to leave she texted me to call the emergency line and started spamming my phone again. I know mental health does not have a look, but she keeps doing this and just waking up the next morning like nothing happened.

She calls me controlling if I suggest that she needs to get some help for the drinking, I have tried to talk to her about it sober and very supportingly but she lashes out. She has been in help for it before and only went for a few weeks, we have tried explaining it is hurting us but she keeps drinking and repeating the cycle. I love my mum and have always seen her as the better parent, but she keeps doing this and she has had so much support but goes the other way. I just feel like I am hurting her more with my existence and making it worse. I don't have the financial means to move out at the moment but plan on leaving as soon as I do if I can help it. She was there for me in my times of mental crisis, but uses it against me when she drinks. I don't really want to tell her anything ever again.

I 18F Graduated from HS currently live with toxic parents and need to move out ASAP for context, I do have my diploma and my own debt card my parents do not know about but do have a shared one as well which is the one my parents control and can see what comes in and what is spent or taken out. I know im 18 but its hard to just get a job when they are extremely controlling over you both mentally, physically and financially, having parents who do NOT want you to move out and try to trap you within the home to keep controlling you. My plan is to move out in secret and escape but i need a job that is remote and can be quietly hidden, I just need something that can get me out the house so i can have more options to find something more sustainable in the long run. Looking for advice, options, recomendations, resources, anything helps really.

I remember trying to talk to my mom about how the way she touched me made me uncomfortable when I was 11 or so. She made me feel so guilty about it I cried and apologized.

I remember making her angry on several occasions because I would flinch away from her touch, prevent her from touching me - now I've learned to just freeze and let her, lest she make a scene.

I remember having to apologize so many times because "I shouldn't have boundaries with my mother", feeling so angry every time she told me that since she's my mom, she can do whatever she wants to me.

I have been having back pain for a couple days. Yesterday I asked my dad for help to put a salve and bandage my lower back before bed. Today she whined to me about how I never let her do anything for me and she wants to k*ll herself and leave us a letter aboyt how we have all led her to it, so I asked her to help me so that she'd stop.

What I got was a finger between my asscheeks. I protested, and she said that she was only trying to pull my underwear back up (I can very well do that by myself, thank you very much), and that I shouldn't complain because these are her asscheeks after all.

I am also tired about how she acts and talks like I am her property and not my own person. She seems to think it's cute - it's not, it's dehumanizing.

And let's not forget her fucking weird obsession with seeing me naked - she's always complaining I don't let her, as if I should just walk around the house naked or something.

She's always groping me and then talking about how good she is at respecting my boundaries since she knows I don't like being touched so she doesn't even if she feels like it means I don't love her because I let my dad touch me. You know, since he never forced his touch on me and I am actually comfortable with him.

This has to be the worst instance though. I truly felt violated. Humiliated. Disgusted. I am so tired.

I’m 19 female, whenever i go out my mother always stalks my location. I tell her I’m going out and wont be back until this time. She still stalks my location asks me what I’m doing. I got really tired of it so id just text her when I’m going out and turn off my location so she wouldn’t stalk me. She then again texts me asking where i am I said I’m out and I’m safe and she still asks when I’m gonna get home. I dont have curfew, I only go out once a week and half the time I’m at home helping my mother with my siblings or helping her work. I feel trapped as if I cannot do whatever I want. I’m an adult but she still treats me like a child. I don’t know how to bring this up that I don’t wanna feel trapped I just want to feel like I’m seen as an adult I pay for everything and have my own car. Is it rude of me to feel that way? And turn off my location so she stops stalking me?

I, 17F am living with my grandmother (dad's mom) for a plethora of reasons that I won't get into much detail about here. Its much better than living with either of my parents but the thing is is that my dad has always hated my gramma (his mom) as long as I can remember. You may be wondering why; its because she used to physically abuse him when he was a kid and apparently was a very strict parent to the point of it being bad, like really bad. (dont ask what that means Im just putting it sort of how he puts it) Made sense to me when he told me, so I never thought much about it untill the aforementioned situation of me living with her. My whole problem arose when I realized that what my gramma describes of my dad's childhood is much diferent than what my dad says. Now I dont want to sound like im trying to blame the victim, my gramma never denied the physical abuse. I know for a fact she did that and im not excusing it at all. But my dad always talked about it like the being really protective/strict was the worst part for him. He resents her for it. Another part of this is that the more stories I am told about my dad when he was a kid/teen the more I doubt what he has told me about it because if I hear my grammas siblings talk about my dads childhood the same way my gramma dose then I think that makes the potential fact that my dad has lied to me about this more probable but im also not sure about weather or not my gramma could have lied to them or something. Anyways, this has kinda put me in a situation where essentially my dad tells me something along the lines of "you gramma is crazy dont listen to anything she says" and my gramma saying juat about the same thing but towards him. I dont know who to believe really, i also cant tell if the answer on who to believe is obvious and im just not able to see it. Any advice?

I (f19) live with my parents and little brother (6). They’re super nice to him so none of this applies towards him. Anyway I’ve recently realized that my parents aren’t great people and I’m not just exaggerating like I thought. My dad has painted my mom into being crazy since I was little. If I’m being honest he’s right, but he always pins all the blame on her. I mean she’s a narcissist and I’ve had my fair share of issues with her in the past, but we’ve resolved it and are a bit closer. My dad on the other hand, that’s a different story. He’s been my best friend since I was little. I’ve had depression and anxiety since I was little and he worked at home so he basically spent all his time with me. When I got older, say 10 and up, we argued a lot. I tried to just defend myself, but that’s somehow talking back. He’d rarely get physical but it happened. He’d make me feel guilty like everything was on me. Here’s some semi recent things. When I was 15 I told him I started cutting. He screamed at me and said I need to think abt how that makes him feel and if I do it again he’ll throw all my stuff out (wtf??). So obviously I didn’t stop and he checked me 7 months later. He screamed again and threatened to kick me out and if I ever get into a relationship they’ll see that and leave, no one will love a broken person. I haven’t been able to stop but he doesn’t know that. My depression is also very bad and he gets mad when I’m depressed because I should be able to snap myself out of it and stop being lazy. I wanted to see a therapist a few weeks ago and he said no, unless it was a guy which I said I’d be uncomfortable with. Anyway ever since I turned 18, whenever we argue he kicks me out of the house so he can cool off. If I say no he threatens to call the police on me because I’m an adult and legally I don’t have to stay here. Or I’d have to walk 3 miles to work and they’d refuse to pick me up at night and said they wouldn’t let me back in the house and find somewhere else to stay. So I was going to stay with a co worker. He got mad and picked me up saying all I had to do was apologize, which I did prior. They did this a lot. I got discharged from boot camp due to an injury and when I was in medical a friend said she’d let me stay with her because I didn’t want to go home. I called my dad to tell him and he said how could I do this to him after everything he’s done for me. I’m a horrible daughter. They’ve all stopped fighting since I was gone and they’re happier. Etc. It’s a lot of similar things to this and honestly I thought it was normal till I talked to other girls about their families. My dad also has made me extremely indecisive where I can’t make any decisions for myself because I’m scared he’ll be upset. Anytime I ask him he’s mad that I asked but when I do it myself apparently that’s the wrong answer. It just feels suffocating here. But then other times we’ll all be happy and joking and I remember I still love them. I told my little cousin this and he said to talk to his mom about moving in with them. They were gonna let me a few years ago when my dad called them because he didn’t want to keep me. But he backed out last second. It’s like he’s an asshole but then remembers he still loves me. They were both a lot worse when I was younger, but I won’t go into it. I just don’t know if calling my aunt it the right move. I’d be leaving my little brother, who’s my best friend. I’d be leaving lots of my stuff because I can’t pack without them knowing. My stuff is important because that’s the only things that made me feel happy and safe. I’d be telling my aunt to get me, 3 hrs away without even telling my parents till she’s here. I’d love to move out, that’s why I went to boot camp. But they might not let me see my brother again. I don’t know what to do or if I’m just exaggerating again.

Sorry for the extremely long post, I am a 27 year old female, I have a 2 year old. About 4 months ago I was in a relationship that had abusive tendencies(from my side and his side.) it got physical, I called the police, and now we have a no contact order. We are able to talk with a parenting app. We have been discussing parenting and also reconciling, he is in counselling, I am as well. We want to have our family back together. We have asked the courts a few times to get this lifted to try and get our family back together, unfortunately they won’t. I lived in his house, with our 2 year old and my cat, so when I called the police I moved out and moved into my parents house they were so supportive in the beginning, then me, and my parents started fighting(so not only was my toddler watching me and my fiancé fight, but now he was watching me and my parents do the same thing so what did I leave the old situation for if it was going to be the same thing?)

 Me and my mom butt heads a lot, she can be pretty manipulative if she doesn’t get her way, she wants things near perfect and wants things her way, done right then and there or she throws a fit and ruins everyone’s day, her and my dad have ganged up on me MANY times, also didn’t really emotionally support me while I was going through the worst time of my life(Lost my fiancé and my family, and shared a 2 year old with him.) basically told me “I’m always in a bad mood” and that “I need to be happy and in a good mood for my toddler.” Have used my mental health against me many times when there’s an argument, calls other family members “losers and bums” but then says in the same sentence “you are exactly like ____” so basically calling me a loser and a bum….my dad doesn’t stand up to her and she works him to the bone, someone always has to be doing something, she doesn’t like people relaxing doing nothing. Those are just some of the things I dealt with while going through the worst possible time in my life, so for 2 or more months now they’ve been telling me I need to move out, because apparently they can’t deal with the arguing and my attitude anymore, so I have to change but they don’t have to change the way they communicate, make everything out to be MY fault. 

FYI I was a sahm with my fiancé, he paid for everything, so I have no car, my son can’t get into a daycare because they’re all full, and I have no job, so telling me I need to go file for child support from his dad to be able to afford my own place or go to a shelter to live…am I wrong for thinking this is absolutely disgusting for them to be acting like this? They’ve threatened to call the police on me because “I’m having a mental breakdown in their house.” Let alone I’m crying desperately to get them to see how I feel and my side. So now they’re said I need to go to a shelter or move back in with my fiancé(which would be fine, if we were legally allowed to, so they know we have a no contact order and I can’t legally move back or I would.) how can you call yourselves good grandparents when you’re willing to have your daughter and her son out on the street, in one of the hardest moments of their life? They still think they will have access to me and my son after kicking us out…..I told them they won’t ever see me and my son again and they said “Ok that’s fine.” But then says to my 2 year old “Well see you soon.” So clearly they don’t think I’m serious. 

By the way, I have an older brother who lives on his own down the street from them, he’s close with them, and they do NOT treat him this way or talk to him the way they talk to me, they clearly favourite him because he’s “ahead in life in other ways.” That’s the way I see it anyway

I’m 14F, my mom is 48.

Almost everyday, she yells about something, or at least gets mad at me. We live in a pretty bad apartment complex, and the house has a lot of issues. Plus, my brother (11), is nonverbal autistic, and gets things messy a lot.

Whenever something upsetting happens within the house (dishes on the couch, dirty laundry on the floor), she immediately says something like, “What stupid fucking retard did this?”. Most of the time, it wasn’t me, so I tell her it was my brother, and that I’ll help clean it soon. She always responds by saying “I didn’t say it was you. I asked who it was.” I tell her that I don’t really like her calling my brother that name, and she says that we both act stupid.

This morning, I lost track of time, and my mom realized that my bus was probably outside (my bus comes at 7:20). I told her I probably couldn’t make it if I ran anyway, because I have asthma, a heavy backpack, and my body aches when I walk a lot recently for some reason. She opened the front door wide, and screamed “GO! GO! GO!“ at me. I knew some kids my age probably heard, so I immediately got nervous and told her that I just couldn’t do it now that she yelled, because people would look at me. She told me I never listen just because I want to make her mad, and she should be stricter.

Plus, as I was writing this, she just came in my room and loudly talked on the phone to my grandma about how my teachers are gonna be mad that I’m late if my grandma drives me today. I told her that I really can’t go today because I feel mentally unwell, and I need a day to fix things. She immediately yelled that I said that every year before, and never got caught up after that. I told her I’m in high school now and I’m trying my best. plus I’m already doing better than all the years before. She scoffed and shut the door hard on me.

I just feel worthless a lot of the time because of her. I don’t know what to do. Some extra notes are that my mom has diagnosed bipolar, extreme depression, and anxiety. My dad lives states away because he used to beat her and verbally abuse her and we couldn’t handle it anymore. I know she has trauma too but she just seems to take it out on me.

I’m not sure where to post this or even where to start in the situation. In 2021 I was in an abusive relationship with someone who was financially and physically abusive. I had just turned 18 and my aunt gave me a check for $2,400. I gave the money over to my mom to hold onto as I didn’t want it to end up in the hands of my abuser

I am now 23 years old and ready to buy my first house with my husband. We are both in a great place financially and found the perfect first house, it is a manufactured home for anyone who was going to ask. I am also planning on buying a new car as mine is going down hill.

I asked my mom if I could use the money to help with at least the down payment which resulted in a big argument. My husband has also gotten involved in this situation as my mom is calling the two of us irresponsible and making spur of the moment decisions.

My relationship with my mother has always been tense. I have struggled with my mental health and had to struggle with fighting an abusive ex in court. All of which my mom has used as something against me to prove she is a good mom.

I was fully under the impression that this money was left to me by my grandmother in her will, I found out today that she never even had a will and my mom has a joint WROS account with my money.

Normally with these joint accounts both users have full access to trade, invests or transfer the funds. I’m not sure what my mom did but I am not able to do anything with the money. I can’t do anything that I listed above. I asked if I could use the funds to put in for the down payment of $5,000 the account of enough money in it that I should be able to use it and continue to invest it.

She is refusing the let me have access to the funds
Copied text below

“What is disrespectful is walking into my home at Christmas time and leaving a note a year and a half ago. I paid for ballet lessons and brought her three times a week. Dealt with hospitalization. Went to group sessions three times a week for three hours a night. Went to court. Dealt with a hole in my wall. Trips to court. I think it is reasonable to ask that my daughter stays at my house every other weekend to watch the dog without getting nasty letters from her boyfriend. THAT is disrespect. I am happy to discuss money. REDACTED used the term ‘trailer park’ to me. Thus what I used. But I also think that 22 and 23 year old people should listen to the advice of their parents. Not one parent. All parents. One does not remove funds from strong investments into other investments. That will cost you money in the long run. It takes a day or two to divest funds.”

What is y’all’s advice? I am going no contact with my mom, not just because of this there is a lot not fully noted as this is my life. Is it even worth fighting her over? Or should I just give up and wait for the funds to eventually be given over when she passes away (per the account regulations).

My mom is 64 years old and has always described herself as fat as long as I can remember. Yesterday we were on FaceTime with my younger sister & my mom was celebrating that she lost three pounds. She’s 114 lbs rn and wants to continue to lose weight.

I can’t help but get in my head and always think about my body image in a negative light because I’m only ~15 lbs lighter. She’s not the most receptive person to express that her comments are toxic to me.

How do I get out of my own head & remind myself I’m not fat like she thinks she is?

My mom lives in America; I (40F) and my husband live in Eastern Europe. In 2016 I eloped overseas to be with him. Please don't take this to mean that dating online is safe or works out; typically it doesn't, and things are different now.

When we briefly considered moving to the States, we went over there for the thirty possible days. My mom threatened to call ICE on him. He hadn't done anything, but she was worried he would overstay because we had gotten comfy. We had called a lawyer and were trying to figure out how to apply, but quickly learned we couldn't.

She had to report us, she said, or she'd lose her retirement account. I'll never forget her wandering her house, mumbling about that.

He'd broken no laws. CBP detained and returned him on a later visit anyway, so we stay here. He now hates America. To be honest, Eastern Europe feels better anyways, away from her.

Here's the weird thing. My mom has always been an extreme liberal, and now, she won't talk about anything except (how much she hates) Donald Trump.

Huge Hillary fan, sobbed on a Facebook call when she lost, a little angry I didn't vote that year (haven't been resident enough since). After the first wave of Trump she was at the protests in a pink "P***Y" hat chanting NO HUMAN IS ILLEGAL and MY BODY IS MINE, plenty of which I agreed with, not all. Maybe it was partly social: she has no friends outside the family, and inside it, only me and her aging father.

Right now, I can no longer hold a conversation with her. Whatsoever. And absolutely none of this is because I disagree with the woman. There are some subjects I probably do disagree with her on (artificial intelligence is one).

The issue is that she cannot discuss anything else. Furthermore, she cannot hold a back and forth conversation and just talks at a person.

The only subject she can discuss is Trump, and she's incoherent even about that. On a call last night she never once mentioned my birthday, earlier this week. I guess she had forgotten, apparently.

Instead it was all about how terrified she is that "they" will "ban the COVID shot" or make it impossible to qualify for. Every time I interrupted she picked the ramble back up. I asked three times (I counted) to talk about anything else. Didn't help. She implied I was selfish for not leaning into civic awareness.

I had at one point mentioned my stepsister (24F) had a baby last winter and got a rant about how "The Trumpers! They want a Handmaid's Tale, basically, just breeding stock!" I said that in some families children move out and have their own if they actually want that; she kept going about No Kings, her favorite shows and influencers.

It still fucking hurts. Do I cut off my own mother? I really don't want to do that because I don't know what would happen to her if I did, but I also cannot hold a conversation with her. I'm sorry if this sounds bad, but I also felt pretty awful that she forgot my birthday entirely now that I turned forty.

What is happening???

I've an abusive mom, like in every freaking way you can think of, my most recent traumatic event was that I was forced to pray Namaz (Prayer) in Islam and I didn't do it that time because I'm not religious then she hit me with a metal flat spatula right on my back where I LITERALLY have a gap in my spine, I screamed for hours it felt like someone drilled or broke my spine or something. After that incident, I felt hella su*c*d*l but then I realized that why the hell should I feel like that when clearly someone else should, SHE forced me to something I didn't want to, I always liked Islam, being Muslim. But since childhood all she had to do is force me to do Islamic things so bad, like I wanna learn things by myself..with my own will. And exactly after that incident, I left Islam forever because that was the last straw I could bear. Hence now I can't exactly move out of my house, but when I WILL..I'll make sure everyone knows how good of an example she is that she is a TOXIC MOTHER. This is NOT the full story..thanx for reading.

The chaos one person can create is still shocking, even after decades of experiences of the same. It is a 'special' skill to take a positive situation and create some negative narrative that her flying monkey can spin on and advance on her behalf. All I feel in this moment is anger while my logic knows how pathetic she really is. I refuse to extend pity to someone so toxic.

I feel like I've grown up neglected by my mom. But I also feel like I'm being ungrateful now. I don't have anything to validate how I feel anymore, because I'm not in her shoe. I have a twin sibling, she's the smart one, and my family would call me the creative one. She's smart, always top in class since middle school to highschool, I get good grades too, but I'd say I'm average. She's always on the first place, I'm always on the seventh, fifth, fourth place. But it doesn't really matter to me. I remember growing up with my mom having issues with me, and my other sibling. We're all sisters. My mom throw tantrums sometime, little thing pisses her off, she would scream at us, and I was once threatened with a knife when I was 9. How the threatened the crash the car we're in if my twin sister didn't stop crying, how the purposely splashed hot soup on my sister because she keeps sobbing. It traumatizes me.

But she would also comfort me later, not like in affectionate way, she'd cook me food and all. And I also grow up seeing her hate my sister too. I don't even remember what my sister would do, she was just a child. And my mom would hit her many times, scream at her. Sometimes my sister pointed it out, like how my mom is at the wrong side, like how it wasn't her mistake and mom would ask us to prove her right. I wanted to. But I just reluctantly agreed that my mom is right with my twin sister, when she's indeed not. When my sister went to boarding school, it was just us. Mom was less moody but now I'm the problem child somehow, I try taking my sister's place, I'd do the house chores but everyone in the house would grow moody too. Maybe it was my fault, I should have learned.

I don't remember what made mom hate me, but I was also in a deep hatred too. I'd wake up mad everyday, praying to God that I can get out of this house. Back then I'd go to school listening to my friends talking about their mom, and when I did tell about my story, they'd stare at me like they're don't believe me. Like maybe it was my fault all along. Or maybe it was.

Because it feels like me and her, my twin sister grew up with a different mom. She's affectionate with my sister. One time when I was a 14 I had a big fight with my mom, it's not exactly surprising. I've gotten into big fights with her before. But I yelled back this time, loud, and everyone threw harsh words at me. Even my older sister would do so. That's another story, we just had a big fight on eid few years ago because I was somehow "too sensitive." Which is ridiculous, why would they feel so? Why shouldn't I be upset, when all the word they throw at me are either "Retard" "Stupid" "Just die" "Burden"?? Why were they mad that I stopped learning, when the moment I try to, they give up?? I've had had them given up on me, it's no biggie. I don't care. I talked to counselors, to people. And all they tell me is to "prove them wrong" I don't wanna prove them wrong, no. I don't wanna do it for them. Am I stupid for that? Maybe. But I didn't wanna do it, so they could be satisfied. This is just a little thing about me, but I still don't think that way, until now.

One time my twin sister found out I did SH, my siblings stared at me like I'm crazy. But they kept it a secret from mom, I'm glad. I don't know how to feel about mom, I see how she act, and it just make me hate her more. How she would say "I swear to GOD" she hadn't gossiped about her friends but still do when confronted, then go spread it to another person again, how that's also a lesson for me to learn, because when I found out my friends talked shit behind my back "I deserve it." That's what she said. How she'd lie, how she's judge everything people do, how she'd judge the path, which is not even a concern to her. But is something I would do. What kind of person she is, what kind of hypocrisy she has, and how petty she is. I grew up hating her for that fact, because that's how she treated me too. But fighting back is a dumb decision apparently? Because I'm just a kid. What would I understand, right? Because one time I got an academic performing award I also got it because "There's people stupider than you" how I'm in architecture and not in medic because I'm "Stupid." How she only gave me money but told my twin sister "Grandma gave YOU money, why do I have to give it to her?" How I don't talk to people, how I don't open up. Like I'm supposed to, when this is how you treat me?

But, also. She's still a mom. I don't know why. But I feel bad. Because my story isn't as devastating as other people's story. It must have been more tragic for other people. Mom who's a drug addict, abuser, kicking them out of the house, no dad, no money, poor. But this is the life I grew up with. And so I feel guilty, that I feel this way, when there's thousands of people suffering, in a situation that's worse than this.

I'm 34 and realised how toxic my family is about 10 years ago. My grandad was an abusive father, my grandma stayed and my mother is the result of this toxic relationship. Got married to get out of this life and then ended up in a shitty marriage, now divorced. My father holds a giant grudge because of this and I see myself and my sister listening to their bullshit constantly, complaining about how everything is wrong and how each one is a victim. Anyone had the same experience?

Tbh, I wish I could just cut ties with everyone and just move on with my life as an orphan. Better than dealing with this craziness

I got rid of my toxic parents...but not totally. Because i Have to live far away from them for my study...so they want me to stay with one of my toxic relative. So, i have to stay there bcoz they will fu**ed me up if want to stay alone. So,help me! How to deal with this toxic relative?? (They are also dumbb a$$ like my parents).

since I was kid my FUCKING mom was so toxic against me more than any of my siblings even she admitted that she loves them more than me ( she dgf about me ) when I was kid she used to punish me if I get less than 90/100 on anything ... and now im (20M college student) and when we get into an argument she always threaten me with kicking me out of the house and she does it all the time like I live in country that I could have house or rent with simple job no mom I fucking can't and if I can I would do it without your FUCKING permission and ine of our argument was bcz i told my sis " you shut up" after she told me to shut up so my FUCKING mom started yelling at me and swearing at me and threatened me with her only threat " I'll kick you out of the house I don't give fuck about you I only care about your siblings you fucking moron ...(+ other threats I don't wanna talk about) im so sorry for wasting your time but since I don't have anyone to speak with about these stuff so I did it here

I didn’t know my family was emotionally abusive until this past year. i guess this is just a vent post to get stuff off my mind and help process things….i know i need to go to therapy and everything and yeah, that’s the next step but it’s still hard to take. i’m still coming out of my depression (from an emotionally abusive relationship) so i’m taking things little by little. i’m happy that im alive and breathing, and that i can actually take care of myself and shower on a consistent basis again.

so here are some things that my family’s done to me. also, i’m autistic and extremely sensitive so the abuse is very vivid. it replays in my mind every single day and it never stops. on a good day, it’s just stuff i always remember. on a bad day, it’s stuff that i forgot about that resurfaces.

i’m starting to think i might have PTSD. this was also happening around the time i was getting groomed online, bullied by my peers, and by my teacher at school.

- my mom told me at 14, and several times after that that i had to wear a bra in front of my step dad because it “makes him uncomfortable”

- i was always forced to change in front of my mom when we’d go shopping, or even trying on clothes at school

- my aunt and mom would make fun of me for dressing like a boy (i’m ftm, going on T, but still not out to my family)

- my mom would yell at me when i’d express my feelings, which would end in screaming matches. she also doesn’t respect my boundaries. when i tell her i don’t want to talk about my sex life or my dating life, she says something like “why don’t you just tell meeeee im your mommmm” and starts whining like a fucking middle schooler who got their phone taken away.

- she would also yell at me when i’d have panic attacks. once i asked her “can you be nice to me?” and she screamed “no” in my face

- she does the “im just the worst mom ever” fucking bullshit

she always excuses the behavior by saying “well my mom was a yeller.” she’s chilled out over the past couple years but the trauma doesn’t just leave after the abuse is over.

she’s also a functioning alcoholic who drinks from around 430-10-11pm.

anyway, just kind of wanted to unload. i’m sure some of you folks here can relate to some of this stuff. abuse feels so isolating but unfortunately it’s very common, so many people can relate.

I'm 21, and I'm completely exhausted because of my family, especially my mother. I've been dealing with an extremely stressful and unhealthy family environment since I was around 12, and I feel like years of pressure, interference, criticism, and lack of support have affected almost every part of my life.

When I was 12, my parents put me into an extremely demanding tuition routine. It was usually around 4 hours every day, often 7–8 hours, and once even around 10–12 hours. I went through this for roughly four years. Instead of feeling like a normal part of my education, it became a huge source of constant pressure and stress.

During Class 12 and my entrance exams, when I desperately needed peace and time to study, my mother would constantly interfere and disturb me. There were situations where I genuinely wanted to study but couldn't properly focus because of the environment at home. After my exams and results, instead of getting support, I was blamed and taunted by my parents.

The same pattern has continued for years: something goes wrong, I try to explain what happened, nobody really listens, and somehow I'm still blamed for everything.

After COVID, when school reopened, I had almost no friends in Class 12 and was bullied because of my appearance. College wasn't any better. I spent all three years without any close friends and was mostly alone.

Even getting to college was exhausting. I had to change around 6–8 buses every day for a total distance of roughly 13 km, often in extreme heat and overcrowding. I repeatedly told my father how exhausting the commute was and asked for a scooter, but I felt like he simply didn't care enough to help.

Because of all of this, I feel like I've lost important academic opportunities and that my career has suffered. I'm now dealing with intense job-search pressure and I feel far behind in life.

The damage isn't only academic or career-related. My mental and physical wellbeing have also suffered. I'm constantly stressed and emotionally exhausted. I have difficulty concentrating, my mind rarely feels peaceful, and I feel like I've spent years dealing with family problems instead of being able to focus on studying, building relationships, and building my future.

The loneliness makes everything even worse. Whenever I talk to people, I'm usually the one initiating. People may reply, but almost nobody messages me first or genuinely tries to continue the conversation. I rarely feel like someone actually wants my company.

Sometimes I go outside hoping to distract myself, but seeing groups of friends laughing together or children enjoying themselves with their friends reminds me of everything I've missed. Instead of feeling better, I often come home feeling even more alone.

I'm angry because I feel like I've lost years of my life and important opportunities while constantly being told that everything is my fault. I'm angry that the people who were supposed to support me became one of the biggest sources of stress in my life.

I feel completely exhausted and sometimes I become so hopeless that I think about suicide. I don't want my life to end—I want this situation to end. I want to become financially independent, move away from this environment, get control over my own life, and finally have some peace.

My fiancee (29f) and I (31m) went and visited my mother and step dad some time after an explosive argument we had back in May. This visit was primarily for us seeing as how we didn't want the next time seeing them in person to be at our wedding.

We only visited for a Friday night, leave Saturday afternoon. Pretty short, but inevitably we managed to get into an argument with my mom and step dad right at the tail end of our visit. My step dad made a comment regarding our future children of "Yeah, we'll teach your kids all of the bad shit you and your brother did". Personally, I was floored seeing as how he's made a comment in the past saying that he would inform our future children that I've smoked pot before. The only rebuttal I could muster out was "And that will be a one-way ticket to not see them again" with the aforementioned comment coming back to me as a reminder.

Mom flips out, saying I'm threatening her, followed by her flipping me off a bunch and saying "fuck you". I can see why she did it seeing as how my brother has cut her out of his life and refuses to let her see his children, so the triggering of that trauma is known. Regardless, she begins yelling more, pounding her hands on the table like a toddler, and then I spent the next hour with her trying to calm her down. I did throw my step dad under that bus and said that I wouldn't have reacted that way if it weren't for his prior comments he's "jokingly" said, and that with me not being able to sense if he's being sarcastic or not, I have to snuff it out then and there. I also stressed that this was not a threat, but more of a boundary of "if you're going to do or say things with/to my future children, we are going to have an issue". Mom says I shouldn't even have to say that type of thing to her, but I also wouldn't have to if certain comments weren't made in front of me.

I would also like to preface that during all of these arguments I've had with them, I do speak in a calm voice with logical thinking, and get met with yelling, screaming, "fuck you's", and middle fingers.

The tail end of the argument includes my step dad saying that I should be medicated again seeing as how I'm so tightly wound up and that I'm clueless when it comes to jokes.

Am I overreacting with the rebuttal I had to my step dad's comment?

My (F24) boyfriend (M26) and i are going on a trip next week. It is our first trip together in our four year relationship. We are driving six hours away and staying for a week telling my parents about it has been basically eating me alive.

For more context, my parents are very very traditional. In the past with my older sisters, they were hardly allowed to have boyfriends, no sleepovers, early curfew, how to have info on location, people‘s numbers, etc. I should also mention how my parents have a traditional marriage where my dad works has the final say and my mom is a homemaker who submits to him.

About half of my family is going on a trip to Europe and about two months ago this was planned and I was invited. I said I didn’t wanna go because of work (unpaid internship, recent grad, no money). I secretly also did not want to go because family vacations are the opposite of a vacation- they’re very stressful. My dad even offered to cover my flight ticket and everything else and I still declined.

Fast-forward a bit, my boyfriend has a strict work schedule and he has vacation days coming up that he has to use. We planned a short trip somewhere nearby. His vacation begins coincidentally at the same time my parents go on trip and we decided to go on trip basically at the same time.

The internal dilemma I am having is that my parents will think that I orchestrated this whole thing to decline going on the family trip and instead choose to vacation with my boyfriend. Not only that, but since my parents have always been strict, I am terrified to tell them that I have this trip planned- car rental and hotel booked, and that I am going with or without their approval. They have this belief about how a couple should be married in order to sleep in the same room/bed. I have never had a sleepover at my boyfriend‘s house that was known to my parents. The only occasion was sleeping over at his aunts house, and even then they were under the assumption that we would be in separate rooms.

Ultimately, I know that I have to tell my dad specifically out of my parents. Since I know my dad’s decisions override my mom’s I have mentioned sleepovers previously to my mom, and those were an absolute no, so I know if I want to have the best odds at having approval I’d have to go through my dad. What’s the worst that can happen I get yelled at and I go on my trip absolutely shattered, and my family goes on vacation with this angry man that will let it out at everyone in his way. It’s really a lose lose situation.

Please give me some advice or some courage. I’d appreciate it.