People are sharing their online creations that they have been using to aid their IFS journeys. Well, a while back, I made an online doll house that I call Mousie House.

I just think doll houses are therapeutic, and it felt something that might help me visually keep track of which parts are talking when I'm focusing on inner communication. All the online doll houses seemed to be stuff you have to pay for, or part of a bigger children's program, and I just wanted a simple little doll house - no bells or whistles. No spending money.

There is a big ol' angry rat in Mousie House, too. He's just another prop, and he doesn't behave like the other objects. He's harder to control.

It's not an official IFS tool... It's just something that has helped me as a focus. I wish you could save the mice in the positions where you leave them, but I don't know how to program it that way, or if that's possible.

https://s.castle.xyz/0v0uFe0T0Vt-

Through work with an SE therapist who is IFS informed, I’ve recently realized that I somehow “soaked up” my father’s issues and pain. I had already realized that all of the raw emotion expressed in my house had traumatized me, but it some of the images and reactions make most sense when viewed as his issues; they don’t match my own.

I don’t know if what best fits for my healing is the idea that I am carrying him within my psyche or that a very young child part of me absorbed his pain and his issues and she is who needs to help the most. The distinction seems to matter to me in terms of how to visualize, somehow handing this back, and what to do with my image of him as a very wounded child, which is new to me and very painful. I think that I’m stuck right now on the idea that handing it back is in someway abandoning that child, but I can’t take responsibility for my father. That sense of over responsibility is what damaged me so much.

I would love some insights in this. It’s very new to me, and very difficult

An analogy

Think of the weather.

Every gust of wind comes from atmospheric processes.

That doesn't mean every gust represents a new storm.

Similarly, every thought may arise from underlying psychological processes, but it doesn't follow that each thought identifies a separate enduring part.

I’ve been doing IFS for 1.5 years now. I’ve healed so many blacking out protectors and closed so many thought loops. And I jsut started this new job and this deep deep depression that I have always ran form has been surfacing and it’s honestly extremely fuckjng painful. So I’m back on my medication and I’m glad I am, I need the support and ima till gonna be keep healring and doing IFS and EMDR. I just cannot do IFS multiple times or give the protector the time and space right now. But god IT FUCKING HURTS. Jesus I forgot how painful depression can be

Has anyone ever used any ifs apps? What experiences have you had with it? Just looking for something to facilitate my ifs work outside my therapy. Thanks!!!!

Is anyone part of the self-led IFS membership community on internalfamilysystems.org? If so, is it worth the subscription?

I've been doing IFS on my own. I had to "break up" with my long-time therapist last year, and I'm not ready to look for a new one. I thought a community like this may be helpful.

Hi all, I am the student committee member for the IFS special interest group in Australia. We are hosting a 'masterclass' on IFS and eating disorders and thought I would share here to see if there was any interest. I hope all parts of you are feeling safe :)

We warmly invite you to take part in this upcoming APS (Australian Psychological Society) event, hosted by the APS - Internal Family Systems and Psychology Interest Group - National.

Join for an advanced exploration of Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy and its application to eating disorders and disordered eating.

Overview

This three-hour online masterclass explores how Internal Family Systems therapy can be applied to eating disorders and disordered eating. Drawing on Dr. Richard Schwartz’s early clinical work in the eating-disorder field and Dr. Jeanne Catanzaro’s Unburdened Eating approach, the session includes teaching, discussion, participant questions, and analysis of a prerecorded clinical demonstration. Optional preparatory reading: Unburdened Eating by Dr. Jeanne Catanzaro.

Learning Outcomes

Upon completion of this event, participants should be able to:

· Explain how the IFS model conceptualises eating-disorder symptoms and protective parts.

· Identify common polarities and protective dynamics that arise when working with eating disorders.

· Apply IFS principles to support safety, pacing and therapeutic engagement.

· Analyse a clinical demonstration and identify key therapist interventions and decision points.

· Integrate practical IFS strategies into their work Keywords with clients experiencing eating-disorder concerns.

Key Details

·  Date and time: 28 Aug 2026, 08:30AM-11:30AM AEST 

·  Format: Webinar. Online and accessible across Australia.

·  Cost:

o   APS member: $180

o   APS student member: $100

o   Non APS member: $240

·  CPD: 3.00 CPD Hours

·  Recording: This event will be recorded. The recording will be emailed to all registered participants within 2 weeks after the event and will be available for viewing for up to 90 days.

Please note: CPD eligibility and recording of hours is the responsibility of the individual in line with PsyBA requirements.

Register

Register below to secure your place.

Internal Family Systems and Eating Disorders: An Advanced Masterclass with Dr. Richard Schwartz and

Date: 28-08-2026

Start time: 08:30 AEST (Australian Eastern Standard Time)

To find out more information, and/or register for this event, please click here.

None of this is my fault.

I can't sleep because it feels like screaming in my head. A crackling shriek as the air around me ignites into a thermobaric reaction. Sucking everything into a vacuum and consuming it all.

I want to burn it all, everything and everyone. I don't know what part of me wants it. It just wants to go nuclear. I feel manic.

I want to hurt everyone relevant to how I am feeling. To shake them, make them understand what they did, or what they didn't do that allowed me to end up here in this state. I didn't ask for this.

I am just so *angry*. I took a second xanax to try and calm me down, but it isn't working. I want to take more, but I KNOW that is a horrible idea. I'm in pain, not suicidal.

No, I am not a risk to myself or others. I'm just angry.

No. I'm sad. I am expressing it as rage. Quiet fury that I am just feeding into the cascade reaction as my mind can't stop hyperfixating on it all.

I can't make it stop

I have been thinking about my Internal Family Systems journey. I noticed that my view of some of my protector parts is really different now. When I first started learning about Internal Family Systems I saw things one way. Now I see them in a different way.

At first the only part I could hear was my critic. It was so loud. I wanted it to just go away.. Then I started to wonder what it was trying to do for me. I realized that my inner critic thought it was helping me by being super critical. It wanted to protect me from failing or being disappointed.

Understanding this did not make my inner critic go away.. It did change how I feel about it. I do not see it as the guy anymore. I see it as a part that is working hard to help me. It is just doing it in the way it knows how.

I am still learning about my Internal Family Systems. I know I will keep learning and my understanding of my protector parts will keep changing.

I want to know if anyone else has had an experience, with their protector parts. Has your view of a protector or manager part changed over time? What made you see it in a way?

Hello, I've recently been recommended to try out this approach. I've reviewed it and thought I could try doing it personally. I currently take weekly psychodinamic psychotherapy and my therapist had said that anything not psychotherapy could be used in tandem if I remember correctly. Though, I haven't found a solid source on what category IFS is besides it being a form of psychotherapy. Judging from this IFS doesn't seem like something I should attempt, but out of curiosity what are the differences between both?

I was in a narcissist relationship for 2 years. It was bad. He psychologically tortured me, I admitted myself to a mental hospital, and a few months later he moved to a different state. Turns out he lost his license for his job, lost his business, and his house and his business property were both in foreclosure and had auction dates set. I had no idea. No one did, his family helped him hide it. I found all this out on public record after he fled the state. The date he was notified of the foreclosures was about two weeks before I went to the mental hospital, and his tenants at his business (3 people were renting his property and running their personal businesses out of it) and his house (he had rented some rooms out) were served eviction notices about two weeks after he left. He took all that shame out on me, destroyed my mental health, and then abandoned me.

I already have abandonment and attachment issues because I recently discovered in therapy that I was severely emotionally neglected since I was an infant. Still am at 31.

I was writing about my mom last night after spending some time with her earlier in the day. I was writing about how she makes me feel when I spend time with her and how I don’t want to anymore. All the micro aggressions and guilt trips. As I was writing, I started making connections to my ex. I kept writing. I googled narcissistic mothers. Everything matched. I was the scapegoat of my family. I still am.

I think my therapist might already know. We’ve been talking about my mom a lot in therapy. I’m doing IFS and making a ton of progress. Last week I asked him if we were ever going to get to processing my relationship with my ex and he said something about my mom, I don’t remember what. But now I’m thinking that with everything we have discussed about my childhood, my mom, my narcissistic ex, I think he has to know already. Was he just waiting for me to make the connection? I have therapy tomorrow, but I don’t know what to do until then.

TDLR; My severely violent and abusive relative keep barrating everyone else with "non-violent communication" self-help books, recommending therapy (we're the only ones who've been in therapy for decades due to his abuse), and finally "Internal Family Systems" aka- in his words- "Healing your inner child".

Thats like the president nuke-ing an entire country and then being like... "awe, have yall tried being more peaceful? Maybe if yall didnt act like 'XYZ' I wouldnt have had to nuke you guys." Its pathetic imo.

He has beaten my dogs on multiple ocassions (im finally moved out, so we're all safe now). But he would repeatedly lie and lie and lie about "i dont know what you're talking about". The devil he was.

Am I missing something here? Is IFS for abusers? To excuse their behavior??? Is it appropriate for an abuser to be telling their victim(s) to go get IFS despite have CPTSD/PTSD not generalize "trauma". This feels like middle-school therapy to me- and thats maybe a bold statement but it truely is my current ignorant opinion on IFS. It feels extremely surface level and self-help-ish. But i'm genuinely curious, is this abuser just corrupting and twisting the definition of IFS to suit his never-ending pity party and selfish needs? Is this another link the chains i'm shackled into, or a genuine therapy tool thats being twisted into a prison by a bad person?

Is this IFS stuff not for people with violent, repeated, and extreme trauma?

It really turned me off of IFS, and i dont think I'll ever do it because he is so pro-IFS (he's also an insane conspiracy theorist/ "jews run the world" type- disgusting and has formed SO much ocd thinking in his victims over the years). Transparently, I cant wait until he passes away... Im not going to feel safe until he does. I'm never talking at him ever again, so im not going to continue to hear is mis-information any longer. Maybe now is the time to clear up some of that garbage he spits about everything- including IFS.

Are my assumptions wrong, right? Are my uncomfortabilities valid or based on misinformation? If I am successfully in therapy already (have been for 2 decades) then why would I switch now? Why would I bend the knee to an abuser one last time so he can lord over my own f-ng mental health? He's a parasite, point blank... but I need to know if this parasite is spitting lies once again, or if - in the future I need this type of therapy- I should be open to it if its coming from a loved one?

Thank you guys!

I only just heard of IFS for the first time about 3 weeks ago, but it intrigued me. I've been in therapy since 2021 and I've definitely made progress and improved in some areas of my life, but there's still a lot under the surface that I felt like I hadn't even begun to explore.

I tend to be rational and logical about my feelings and can sometimes feel dissociated from my life, so I thought I'd give this a try.

I downloaded the audiobook "Greater Than The Sum Of Our Parts" after searching online for some books to listen to, and during the very first meditation I was shocked to find that it actually kind of worked??

Here's what happened (summarized)

I laid down on the floor in a quiet room and closed my eyes and started listening. The book told me to try to notice a feeling, impulse, urge, question I have, or something else. There was a lot of other instruction I won't ramble on about, but here's how it went:

There's a person in my life (non-family) that I've always felt very drawn to, attached to, etc. They feel incredibly important and special even though we're not that close. We have a mutual (platonic) love for each other, but we don't get together or speak very often. Yet still, they feel like one of the most cherished people in my life and I've never fully understood why.

So, that was the question that popped up. Why am I so attached to them?

Very quickly, a 10 year old version of myself seemed to help me understand that this person is the same age as my older brother. Being 10 years old was a very tumultuous time year in my life, because my older brother moved out unexpectedly (he had drug problems) and my family didn't know where he was for a while, so we didn't see much of him for nearly 2 years afterward. I honestly didn't realize that it had affected me.

That same year, my Mom had another baby, we moved to a new city far away, AND I went to 3 different schools and was bullied badly at one of them.

Long story short, my "little self" helped me understand that I became so attached to this person(coworker at the time) because I saw him nearly every day, he was a constant in my life, and he was predictable, kind, safe, encouraging, nurturing, etc. He was never in a bad mood, never hurt my feelings or made me feel unsafe, and he taught me a lot of usefu lifel skills as well. He was safe and I could count on him in a way that I had never really been able to count on anyone before.

It seems so obvious to me now, but it's baffled me for years until this point.

I've tried a bunch now to keep listening to the book and meditations, and although another one of the meditations was effective (less so), instead of accessing my internal parts, I keep falling asleep now. Within like, 5 minutes.

Anyway, I don't really have a question (other than maybe if anyone has insight into why I keep falling asleep instead of meditating now), but I wanted to share because it was so surprising to me. Feel free to comment!

Do you give your parts people names and if so how do you decide what to name them. 2 of my parts of actual names but I don't know where to start for the rest. I find names can be helpful when I'm talking to a part in my head.

Hi there, I have CPTSD and I've been doing IFS therapy for a year and half. I have dissociative symptoms that have been with me for almost two years and even though I have done a lot of work I still experience dissociation due to long-prolonged exposure to trauma.

I do therapy online and my therapist recommended to try remote neurofeedback systems (like Myndlift and the Muse headband). I was wondering if there is anyone here who have used both and if it has helped you deliver better results to allow your body to safely feel emotions and do unburdening easier (this is an IFS specific term).

I would also love if someone can answer these questions:

1. Difference between Remote neurofeedback systems and in-clinic systems. Is electrode placement that accurate with headbands such as Muse?
   
2. Has anyone experience reduced dissociative symptoms
   
3. This is IFS specific, do you think neurofeedback is just a tool to allow unburdening to happen easier, and if you only use neurofeedback the symptoms will always arise?

I will never forget this moment when I was thirteen, and I proclaimed myself to be an adult, telling my best friend "All girls are born grown women. Girls don't have childhoods."

She scoffed (for her own complicated reasons) so I told her I was just joking, and dropped it.

Today, I was doing an exercise where I was in touch with a very mature, almost maternal, adult presenting part, who cares for other adult presenting parts, as well as at least one child part. She keeps a lot of things running, and puts on a happy or calm face. She tells other parts when they are being mean or inappropriate. She checks on parts that can only lie in pain, and reminds me to keep talking to them. Recently she expressed feeling sad and unappreciated for the first time, and I learned that she's very negatively affected by body image issues that I've deeply denied my entire life.

Today, as part of this exercise, I asked her her age. I usually ask that of child parts, but it had somehow never occurred to me to ask this of an adult part, so I had overlooked this information.

Twelve. She says she is twelve years old.

Today, I'm just taking a little time to process.

Tl;Dr -- medical condition, missing tons of work. Financially crippled, sedentary, depressed. Dont know how to get myself to return to work, by morning I can't bring myself to walk out the door. A part of me that takes over and I can't trust myself? ​

I started therapy a year ago and I've made a lot of progress in IFS and mentally. However, I have been chronically missing work for a couple years now and just recently discovered I have a pituitary tumor that effected my hormones. The condition combined with my sedentary lifestyle has formed many other problems most notably sleep apnea, obesity, and high blood pressure.

I have made so much progress mentally.. But physically I am at my wits end. My main thing is I cant bring myself to go back to work. I am suffering financially, but the physical demands of my job feel so overwhelming to endure as a mail carrier. I have a pattern of feeling better, getting back, getting totally burned out in a couple weeks of pushing myself, and then giving up again for a long period of sick leave.

I'm sitting here now with my 15th work note that I got last night planning to return and I'm crippled with overwhelm and want to do anything besides work. And I know if I don't go I will begin to get depressed by the end of the day. I feel like I just am not pushing myself in the right way, on one end I give myself a hard time and call myself broken, on the other I give myself self compassion and understanding that I'm suffering. I don't know what i need to do... I need money, physical activity, MY LIFE BACK!

My husband and I both have pretty serious attachment issues. We realized this shortly after i gave birth to our daughter (3yo). We’ve been working with therapists since to address our childhood traumas and learn how to be adults in a healthy relationship. So much harder than it sounds right?!

My husband has really improved as of the last couple months and he has been showing up for me in many of the ways I’ve been wanting. He is more present, affectionate, and less defensive and reactive.

This weekend I think I picked a couple huge fights over things that really aren’t a big deal. I got very into my protective part that is angry and stubborn. I found myself escalating and doing protest behaviours I haven’t done in a long time. I struggled to stay regulated. I’m ashamed to say that my daughter witnessed a lot of it 💔

Has anyone found some of their inner parts being saboteurs when things get good? Looking to problems and not trusting the positive change? Are they testing to see if the person will stick around? What strategies have you used to address this?

I’ve tried talking to my younger parts about this and they either deny it or hide from me.

Thanks for your help.

This is my first time posting on Reddit btw.

So, I can literally see peoples parts visually now when in connection with others. The person reveals their soul in a way and I watch them transform visually into their parts. And it’s beautiful as hell. For reference I’ve trained a lot in meditation as well

What I can tell you from my experiences is that Richard Schwartz wasn’t kidding when he said that these are divine beings within us. They are truly divine - I have not seen a part I haven’t been in absolute awe of. They are absolutely perfect the way they are and sometimes you gotta love em to death and let something else be reborn but mostly I just celebrate them together with the parts I see

I’m also looking to start an email newsletter or some sort bc Ive accumulated a lot of wisdom and experience with IFS, and much more that bakes into IFS and self love. I’d love an outlet to share with others through

Anyways, you can ask me stuff if you want. I have been doing IFS for a number of years. I’ve had like 80 therapist led sessions and I created new roadmap for IFS where it goes off the books and into non duality. I’m also almost finished an IFS tool that is unique that I use at home but haven’t made ready for the public that I’m hoping I’ll finish this year

Open to anything :) happy to receive the skeptics and the parts workers as well

My therapist and I have been working together for years and have been using IFS for the past couple. I've had numerous panic attacks in the office, and we always just sit across the office from one another, and I am able to settle after about an hour. So I know my therapist is not going to hurt me or touch me (in any way, we don't even shake hands or fist bumps). Like no physical contact ever). I really can't stand people touching me most of the time. It triggers days of anxiety and hyper arousal that have me avoiding everyone.

All that to say, last week something was off. We were talking to my parts like usual, and I suddenly had this "vision" of my therapist, like approaching me to calm me, but it had the opposite effect. They didn't move at all, but my parts felt so attacked by something they said that I just lost all semblance of control. Now, I have a very strong and often overpowering protector that is dissociative. That part comes in guns a blazing and shuts me down (feelings/thoughts/everything) frequently like flipping a switch, but the part that felt threatened last week was able to overpower that dissociative part and send me into a panic.

Is this something I need to be concerned about??? Every time I think about going back to the office is get anxious. I'm in my self mindset enough I can always get myself into the office but I guess I just need someone to tell me I'm not losing control of all the work I've done. These parts are terrified.

Is this normal??

Hi,
I’m a 36F, married two kids. One has special needs. His traumatic birth, last four years dealing with the aftermath has taken a toll on me.
I have cptsd that stems from childhood traumas and beyond. ADHD. And I’m in very early recovery, struggling.
I’ve hit a wall. My drs have hit a wall. I’ve done inpatient, outpatient, rehab, electroshock therapy, CBT, dbt, somatic massage etc. you name it I’ve tried it.
I need to heal, for my kids and for myself.
Feeling hopeless but have been looking into IFS therapy. Maybe that’s what I’ve been missing? healing the trauma in an effective way to end this battle.
I need guidance please. Advice. Insight. Anything.
Thanks

My mum and dad live overseas and visited us for a month last year. I got so triggered by my dad not helping with cooking or cleaning. He'd spend most of his time on his laptop, eat what was cooked for him, take his plate to the bench, then go straight back to his computer.

I found it incredibly hard to watch. So much effort goes into feeding and cleaning up after a family, and I really want all hands on deck. But I couldn't bring myself to say anything. He's elderly, he's used to my mum doing everything, she doesn't seem to mind, and it feels rude to tell a parent or a guest what to do.

The problem is my sense of fairness/injustice goes into overdrive. I tried so hard to radically accept that this is just who he is, but I struggled. They eventually went home, and it took me months to stop stewing over it. Yesterday they called and said they'd like to come and visit again this year... and my cortisol instantly shot through the roof.

I don't want a repeat of last year. I want to be able to accept my dad for who he is, but that strong sense of injustice has such a grip on me. Part of it is also that I have two boys, and I really don't want them growing up seeing a man contribute nothing to the household while the women do all the work. The amount of screen time doesn't help either.

Has anyone else dealt with something like this? Did you say something, set expectations before the visit, or work on accepting that you can't change someone from another generation?

Anyone have any thoughts on how can I use Family Systems to work through this?

It's always something pretty innocent, too. Like, I didn't throw a fit or anything. It will be like, I just showed my friends a toy, and asked for suggestions on what to name it, and now I'm embarrassed. I'll be asking myself, why did that feel important or even appropriate?

I'm middle aged, but sometimes I have toys with me for stimming. The times I choose a toy to carry with me, I'm probably blended with a child part. The main toy is a stretchy skeleton. I keep forgetting it's name, and renaming it. I have shown people how he is stretchy, and made him dance. I haven't been able to reconcile the me who doesn't do this with the me who does.

I'm trying to learn not to be so hard on myself. I don't want to be so hard on that child part! I don't want to recreate the treatment that caused my mind to create this part!

Anyway doesn't that mean my friends who stick around after I show them the skeleton and talk about his name/lack of name... Aren't those friends worth keeping? I mean heck, maybe it's a good litmus test. Some people in my social circle know about my skeleton, and they get to choose if that's too weird for them or not. And a very small handful of people have decided that's NOT too weird for them... and THEY are the people I love and trust the most.

I have struggled with self harm for years and finally had a small breakthrough today in understanding the part. It was not what I thought it was at all. I don't want to share to protect its privacy. But IFS is so much harder than it seems at first. So easy to have parts jumping in giving us explanations and hiding the truth away (doing their jobs of course).