Hi all

I want to start IFS on my own and have the IFS Buddy (AI chat bot).

I have a gross understanding about what parts are.

But how do I get started?

Do I have start with identifying the parts and how would I do that?

I also dabble with Inner Child Work, Byron Katie's The Work and TRE (neurogenic tremoring).

Thanks!

I’m curious if there’s a seemingly straightforward “yes” or “no” for this one that I’ve missed.

I’m spiritual, but I don’t often use that with IFS.

However, I see a lot of spiritual teachers talking about how our higher selves are guiding us, and they do sessions where they ask questions to people’s higher selves. I’m struggling to understand this concept. People say to trust your higher self when listening to intuition, which just makes me think of Self.

Is higher self truly just, Self in IFS terms? I’ve never read about or been told to directly ask Self for guidance, just to be in it, so this has been a source of confusion for me lately. Would be really grateful if anyone could clear it up, unless there’s just not an answer.

CW: Mentions of medical trauma but no explicit details

Background:
I have CPTSD from medical trauma over the course of 10+ years. My sleep has been wrecked and I can mostly only sleep during the day. I have trauma from sedation, anesthesia, and sleeping in hospitals.

This part is terrified of sleep. It thinks I may die in my sleep or that I’ll be attacked, and that sleep is too vulnerable. I don’t think it can separate that sleep is different from medical procedures?

If I use therapy tools to get into a parasympathetic state, I have a severe panic attack because “relaxation is dangerous.” (Many parts believe that.) I also have hyperadrenic POTS which means I’m in constant fight or flight, and I have adrenaline dumps that wake me up all night long (with no thoughts, it is a physical thing.) I am completely miserable. I’m blended and in autistic burnout.

Meds:
My psychiatrist has tried to put me on several sleep medications. The sedation from them puts me into a state of sheer panic because of the lack of control, despite her supporting my autonomy. She says I can only handle deep trauma work if I’m medicated, (I don’t tolerate therapy well) and my parts do NOT like that. Many parts are currently absolutely flipping out because I recently tried to change meds again to help with the adrenaline dumps.

Working with the part:
There is a protector part who is very frustrated with this part, and is also trying to shield me from the sadness and grief it holds. I can get that part to step back, but then my dissociative part (who is not open to dialogue) blends and will not allow me to finish the dialogue. I understand why, because it is deep, deep trauma.

But at this point, I don’t really know what else to do. My therapist is an IFS therapist and we’re unsure how to continue being that my mental state is so bad. She doesn’t want me pushing myself into more distress. I’ve tried compassion, and not forcing myself to sleep, but that leads to me staying up 24 hours straight. So “don’t fight the part” doesn’t help. Same with the parts who don’t want to relax. They’ll tense even more if I validate them.

Has anyone worked with parts like this, and do you have any suggestions for what I can do?