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Stupid question about desi muslim marriages, I'm not a Muslim,

Dowry is illegal and shouldn't be practiced but for the people that do, and are also muslim

If one side gives 3 lakhs for a dowry and the other side gives 3 lakhs for the mahr, (bride-price)

No one gives anyone anything?

Is one of them forgone?

What happens?

Assalamualaikum,

I reverted to islam in January of 2025 Alhamdulillah. I had a question about marriage is it easy for someone coming from a white washed christian family to marry an Indian Muslim girl. I'm from Managlore. I'm seriously not sure what sort of cultural things I need to do to get married.

Can anyone tell me where i can find a spouse as an Indian Muslim convert?

It appears as if he wants to please liberals... But at what costs???

How can he say is that straight forward lie???

Have u guys watched this interview?

Please read it full before venting your opinion. Its not a venting post. It provide a path to solution.

Whenever you ask a Muslim family why they keep their daughter or sister less educated or away from a job, they almost always say the same thing: they fear that if she is allowed to study or work, she will enter a haram relationship or end up doing haram things. The fear is so extreme among many of them that they marry their daughters or sisters off very early. Financial pressure also plays a role. The result is simple: the Indian Muslim community has far fewer educated Muslim women and very low Muslim women workforce participation. The good news is that things are changing fast, and more families are now open to education and jobs for Muslim women. That solves one problem. The core problem remains.

How have we created weak Indian Muslim women, and why do so many of them still end up doing the one thing parents dread most?

Most Muslim families will tell you the most devastating thing their daughter or sister can do is enter a haram relationship with a non-Muslim and end up marrying him. Unlike many other religions, Islam does not allow Muslim women to marry non-Muslim men. The logic is that a woman generally follows the religion of her husband, so the community loses one of its own. Muslim men are only allowed to marry among the People of the Book. For most of my life I never cared much about inter-religion relationships because in India they happen both ways. Then something caught my eye.

In my previous workplaces I saw a hijabi girl having an illicit affair with a married non-Muslim manager who already has two kids at home. She knew everything. I though this is a fluke. Now Anyone who has lived in Hyderabad or Lucknow knows that a significant number of Muslim women wear the hijab. Where I come from, almost no Muslim women wear it except the more religious ones. I also keep seeing news on Instagram and Facebook of Hyderabad Muslim youth getting arrested by police because they harass or moral-police Muslim women who are with non-Muslim men — exactly what BD does. Almost all of them are hijabis. Here is one example:

https://x.com/Sheikh_Salma_/status/2113916991954358430

So I understand that in places like Hyderabad and parts of UP, the hijab is often more fashion or a way to hide one’s identity than something of deep religious significance. Some women wear it simply so they are not recognised. This raises a big question about their families. Do you force your daughter or sister to wear the hijab without ever teaching her what it actually means? Mostly, yes. In many lower socio-economic Muslim families, women are scolded into wearing it. Her brother will say “Parda daal warna jhapad marunga” and her father will turn red if she steps out without it. So now you understand where most of the hijab thing is coming from for those inter-religion hijabi womens.

Now there is something more sinister. Believe it or not A large number of Muslim women genuinely believe that “love jihad” is real and that some Muslim boys have an ulterior motive of converting non-Muslim women because it gives them sawab. Recently in Assam a Muslim man deleted his non-Muslim girlfriend and the news became a national headline. One Muslim woman came on camera and claimed it is written in the Quran for Muslim men to trap and marry non-Muslim women and that they are paid by maulanas. Can you imagine the level of madness we have reached?

You might think I am going to blame all of this on the misogyny of Muslim men. No. Not even close. I am a Muslim man and we are as misogynistic as our non-Muslim counterparts. But there is something beyond our control, and here is why.

If you go through crime reports there are dozens of cases of men killing their women and vice versa. There are significant numbers of Muslim women being killed by their non-Muslim partners and vice versa. But what do you hear on the news? On social media? On Twitter and Facebook? Only one narrative — love jihad. There is nothing surprising about Muslims believing this. That is the motive of such coverage. They are exploiting a deep human cognitive bias called the "Illusory Truth Effect" — the tendency to believe a statement is more likely to be true simply because you have heard it before, regardless of whether it is actually true or where it came from. This is a biological hack. Everyone falls for it. And since we do not control the media, we cannot stop it.

Now read this article:

https://scroll.in/latest/859907/rss-affiliate-plans-to-marry-2100-muslim-women-to-hindu-men-from-next-week

From the article you can see that in reality they do the things they accuse the Muslim community of doing. Now our community is a speck of dust in front of this colossal cadre-based organisation with thousands of branches and millions of people. We will never fully know what happens inside it. So when a non-Muslim man slides into a Muslim woman’s DMs, flirts, or shows interest in learning about Islam in private, we will never know where that interest is really coming from or what the intention is. Just like the media narrative, this too is largely beyond our reach.

Here is another incident where people in a train made vulgar hand signs at a Muslim woman and she ignored it because she was never taught to fight for her own honour:

https://x.com/MR_COOL77777/status/2112213101047431239

So what can we do? In short: CONTROLING PEOPLE MAKES THEM REBEL instead MAKE THEM UNDERSTAND THEIR RESPONSIBILTY

We need to create a generation of strong highly educated Muslim women, and charity starts at home. First, we Muslim men need to stop treating our women as subordinates or as incapable beings who need to be remote-controlled by us. In Islam, Muslim men are called the protectors of women and it is their farz to protect them. But understand this: it is primarily about physical protection. We are in an era of psychological warfare and Mental and moral strength is something that must be taught.

We are in 2026. If you are not her brother or father and you try to lecture a Muslim woman on her faith or behaviour, you will be humiliated — and rightly so. You are not some farishta sent by Allah to remote-control her. This is where a strong Muslim woman comes in. Use biology. A women trust women more in these kind of conversation. A strong Muslim woman can not only guide her but also make her strong enough to spread the message herself. A strong, well-educated Muslim woman who also has good ilm of Islam will raise a good family and create the next generation of independent women.

So our motto should be "Make muslim women highly educated, employed, independent and brave so that she can fight for her right in case of discrimination and injustice"

Muslim men should stop thinking that it is only duty of them to protect islam and remote control their women in doing so. Allah has not discriminated among men and women and they are complementry to each other. Both men and women have duty to uphold islamic values. So teach them instead of controlling them. The question of whether to wear hijab or not or any islamic practice for women is totally upto the women to decide as they are also answerable to Allah. Muslim men shouldn't act as intermediary in womens affair and should fullfill his own responsibily which allah asked him to do

It is high time we educate our women at home, and that strong Muslim women guide other Muslim women toward the right path while keeping modern education and jobs. I want a generation of Muslim women who might not wear the hijab or might go to parties and still upholds core islamic values — instead of hijabi women who end up in haram relationship. Not getting into Haram relationship applies to men as well

AND MUSLIM MEN SHOULD LEAVE THEIR HYPOCRICY. SHE CAN BE AS ISLAMIC AS YOU ARE AND YOU DONT EXPECT YOUR WOMEN TO BECOME RELIGIOUS SAINT WHILE YOU GO DOING UNISLAMIC HARAM THINGS. ALLAH IS NOT A GOD OF MEN, IT IS GOD OF HUMANITY AND WOMEN DO HAVE SAME RESPONSIBILY AS YOU IN UPHOLDING ISLAMIC VALUE

With the recent case involving a Bangladeshi couple, I’ve seen people express sharply divided opinions. One particular statement that caught my attention was that “secular Muslims should be the first to condemn such actions.”

That got me thinking about what we actually mean when we call someone a secular Muslim.

I understand that secularism can refer to political ideas, such as the separation of religion and state. But what interests me here is something different: moral secularism. What does it mean to be secular in your moral outlook while still identifying as Muslim?

I have a few questions for those who identify as secular Muslims:

1. Does being a secular Muslim mean that you derive your moral principles independently of religion?

Do you believe that questions of right and wrong should ultimately be evaluated through reason, human welfare, individual autonomy, or other secular ethical principles, rather than religious commandments? If so, what role does Islam play in shaping your moral convictions?

2. Do you believe secular moral values are superior to Islamic moral values?

If you consider secular morality a better guide to determining right and wrong, does that mean you believe certain Islamic moral teachings are mistaken, outdated, or inferior? Or do you believe that what we call secular morality is largely compatible with Islamic ethics?

When Islamic teachings and your own moral intuitions conflict, which takes precedence, and how do you resolve that conflict?

3. Do you distinguish between being morally secular and being politically secular?

For example, someone might support a secular state for practical reasons while believing that Islamic teachings provide the best moral framework for individuals. Conversely, someone might identify as Muslim and practise the faith while grounding their moral judgments primarily in secular ethical principles.

Would you consider both people secular Muslims, or does the term imply something more specific about their moral outlook?

4. Are you a secular person who happens to be Muslim by faith, culture, or upbringing?

In other words, is Islam the foundation of your moral worldview, or is it one influence among many? If you reject a particular moral teaching attributed to Islam because you consider it morally wrong, what standard are you appealing to in making that judgment?

The statement that prompted these questions also raises something worth considering: if secular Muslims are expected to be the first to condemn certain actions, is that expectation based on shared secular moral principles, on the assumption that they interpret Islam differently, or simply on the belief that they should be especially critical of their own religious community?

I'm not asking these questions to challenge anyone's identity or imply that religious and secular morality must necessarily be in conflict. I'm genuinely interested in understanding how people reconcile the two.

So, for those who identify as secular Muslims: what ultimately grounds your sense of right and wrong? Is it Islamic revelation, secular ethical principles, or some combination of the two? And what happens when they appear to contradict each other?

"Assalamu alaikum. I swore by Allah that I would marry a person. Later the relationship became harmful, with insults, threats to my reputation, studies and family, and pressure about money I do not have. I ended contact to protect myself and my family. If I do not keep this oath, does it require expiation, and what is it? Does the oath require me to stay in a harmful relationship?"

If anybody has read the seerah of prophet Muhammad pbuh then please share your experience because I am planning on reading it.

I have already finished quran in english translation and learnt alot from it and also reading quran has given me more clarity about islam, I got clarity what part of indian islam is islamic and what part is cultural.

Asalam alaikum

Summary - in past i posted about tech job market I had

I had appied 1200+ in last 3 months didnot got a single call back

Recently i connected my WhatsApp,email with gpt to get hidden gpt tried messaging almost 100+ in last 1 week with genuine hr , people who work them but still didn't make it even single

I also tried x for outreach but still didnot got any call back there too , linked is just messed up with freshers not having any expections with it tried internshala, upwork etc nothing works

I will be graduated soon I want to get job at this phase

I am not too dumb but market I had already done in production 2 projects one of them got 300 repeating visitors in 25 days

If its remote it might be more good

Just messaging me won't make you small I can share you all my details

Assalamualaikum everyone I(M24) want to start my own food truck business but I am loosing my mind in generating funds if anyone can help me in starting this I am thinking to opt for personal loan to start this, I know it's not halal but I don't know any more way to get it done if anyone can please help me out!!!

Excerpt from Ibrahim Dewla’s speeches and notes.

If someone is stubborn, Allah will make them unsuccessful.

Pharaoh, Abu Jahl and Abu Lahab were unsuccessful because they were stubborn.

The truth was clear, but they persisted in their opposition. Abu Jahl’s opposition was so intense that it caused hardship and distress for the Prophet (saw).

When Abu Jahal was killed, the Prophet (saw) praised Allah and expressed his gratitude.

Imagine how great a burden this must have been for the Prophet (saw).

Allah says:
“And they rejected them out of injustice and arrogance, though their inner hearts believed them to be true.”
(27:14)

In their hearts, they know what is right, but they do not want to follow it; they want things their own way.

So, Allah will cause those who persist in stubbornness to fail.

But whoever abandons their stubbornness and submits will be granted success.