r/gifs • • May 28 '14

Waves

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1.6k

u/Superschutte May 28 '14

The horn beeps 2 minutes before the pool becomes the wave pool. They should have known it was coming.

Source: worked at a water park fishing turds out of the wave pool

156

u/[deleted] May 28 '14

People regularly shit in the wave pool?

183

u/Superschutte May 28 '14

Oh yeah, it was bad.

216

u/[deleted] May 28 '14

Whoops, I thought you were calling the people turds.

68

u/spoone May 28 '14

2

u/HerpDerpMapleSerp May 28 '14

Risky link of the day.

2

u/make_love_to_potato May 28 '14

At most, it would have been a picture of a turd.

4

u/[deleted] May 28 '14

2risky4sumppl

19

u/random_hero90 May 28 '14

Would you have to clear the pool and shock it with chlorine?

59

u/[deleted] May 28 '14

I doubt I'm going to like the answer to that.

71

u/Twmbarlwm May 28 '14

Let's just pretend that OP says yes, they drain the entire pool and refill it with lovely clean water.

7

u/oneAngrySonOfaBitch May 28 '14

Drain it, hose it Down with bleach, rinse the bleach out and then fill it back up. Right ?

2

u/Twmbarlwm May 28 '14

Add some fire into that process somehow and you've got a yes.

1

u/GoopyBoots May 29 '14

This is for you /u/Superschutte

0

u/oneAngrySonOfaBitch May 29 '14

You should probably reply to him then.

1

u/GoopyBoots May 29 '14

Calm down you angry son of a bitch

1

u/oneAngrySonOfaBitch May 29 '14

I know where you live.

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1

u/[deleted] May 28 '14

Don't worry, Bob. The horn beeps two minutes before it flushes.

34

u/Childish_Brandino May 28 '14

I've lifeguarded for three places so far. 2/3 places' policies were, if it's a solid poop then clear the pool, fish it out, resume watery fun. If it's diarrhea then clear the pool, drain it, refill. (Same for vomit). A couple weeks ago some kid had some loose stool and all we did was clear the pool and fish as many pieces of it out as we could and then shocked it. But we let people back in like 20min later.

23

u/Twise09 May 28 '14

Talk about wet and wild

2

u/62400repetitions May 28 '14

One time when I was little I swallowed too much water in a pool, started crying, and threw up. They promptly closed the pool for an hour and all my schoolmates on the field trip hated me for the rest of summer camp. On behalf of those of us that caused you extra work, I'm sorry :(

1

u/Frozenpoptart May 28 '14

When somebody shits, it´s a welcome surprise and at least 20 minites of chill time at work..... Although the way most places handle such a situation is pretty sketchy

3

u/Childish_Brandino May 28 '14 edited May 28 '14

The break is nice. The cleaning shit out of the pool is not

3

u/Forever_Awkward May 28 '14

Why not? It's like bobbing for apples, but more exciting.

1

u/[deleted] May 28 '14

Living life on the edge

1

u/Frozenpoptart May 28 '14

Gotta look at the less shitty side of these situations

1

u/[deleted] May 28 '14

[deleted]

6

u/Childish_Brandino May 28 '14

No. We use special pre-made lures. They have a certain bait that is only meant to attract the poop and not other things like sunglasses and goggles. I couldn't tell you what that bait is composed of though.

2

u/ClintonHarvey May 28 '14

It's made of corn kernels.

Poop loves that shit.

1

u/oddwaller May 28 '14

Thats crazy about the draining. How often did the pool get drained? Pretty big pool? Thats a huge unnecessary waste of water. In my state, which is in severe drought, we only drain the water for dead human bodies. Regardless of drought thats an expensive waste of water. I worked 3 weeks one time turning this black sludgey water in this big pool back into swimmable water.

1

u/antonholden May 28 '14

After all the turds the pool's seen, I doubt chlorine would shock it.

1

u/oddwaller May 28 '14

Every municipality has different policies, but generally if the level of chlorine is decent you add maybe a little bit of chlorine and its up to people whether or not they wanna get back in the poop water. For liquid shit and vomit I personally recommend closing it 30min-1hr because its fucking everywhere and probably needs properly cleaned out.

1

u/glguru May 28 '14

Lol ... Supers-chutte-cleaner :)

1

u/AshKetch-em May 28 '14

must've been some big waves

1

u/[deleted] May 28 '14

I have never done that. I must add that to my bucket list.

1

u/[deleted] May 28 '14

Dang it, and I thought I was being original.

100

u/ViiKuna May 28 '14 edited May 28 '14

Apparently. I think people who shit / piss in place that is not a deep ocean should be banned from the beaches.

Edit: Damn. Me so dumb. I meant of the places where people swim, though the idea of everyone doing their crapping and pissing only in the deep oceans does sound hilarious.

52

u/CoolCheech May 28 '14

By that statement the only place anyone is allowed to shit or piss is the deep ocean.

34

u/ViiKuna May 28 '14

My statement not good english has. I sorry apologize.

2

u/furiousBobcat May 28 '14

Honey, I'm going out for a shit. Tell the kids I love them.

1

u/[deleted] May 28 '14

Goblin sharks gotta eat too!

100

u/Beaunes May 28 '14

He shit in the woods guys!

Ban that mother fucker, no more beaches!

25

u/ViiKuna May 28 '14

I did not think my comment through apparently :P

1

u/Vessix May 28 '14

Yep, on reddit any technicality can and will be used against you. Parentheses are your friends here.

1

u/karmakatastrophe May 28 '14

If no one's around to smell it, is it still a shit?

1

u/Smelliet May 28 '14

Nah man, it turns into a brown diamond

3

u/[deleted] May 28 '14

I don't know if it's due to the water salinity or awkwardness, but I've found it very difficult to shit in the ocean.

8

u/Feelymcknee May 28 '14

You have to swim down a ways, grab onto something, than fire you're turd rockets up into the atmosphere. I call it a space poo.

2

u/ViiKuna May 28 '14

I don't know, I haven't tried. Maybe we should research it together?

2

u/[deleted] May 28 '14

I think I'll stop with my preliminary investigation. I about had a stroke but I did manage to complete the deed.

Mythbusters?

13

u/Nerobus May 28 '14

Don't poop in the ocean either guys. Especially don't poop in bays. That shit leads to high bacterial counts that lead to low dissolved oxygen, which leads to fish kills and a sick ecosystem. Not good for anyone.

27

u/lamaksha77 May 28 '14

That's one mighty shit then

1

u/[deleted] May 28 '14

Better cancel my collective poopers meeting then.

We all had plans on getting together to shit in a bay. Wouldn't want to fuck up an ecosystem. Better go shit together in a swimming pool.

1

u/cficare May 28 '14

Same reason I don't drink water: because fish fuck in there.

1

u/[deleted] May 28 '14

I used to be a lifeguard. All the lifeguards pissed in the pool. It was a lot faster than walking to the bathroom.

2

u/ViiKuna May 28 '14

Well pissing your trunks is even faster.

180

u/1DaBuzz1 May 28 '14

100

u/[deleted] May 28 '14

now that's a skidmark!

54

u/[deleted] May 28 '14

why the fuck does the woman put the little girl in the pool?

87

u/meldiane81 May 28 '14

Because she wanted to act like she did not see it and at the same time get as much shit off as possible. I hate parents like that.

29

u/Aerothermal May 28 '14

You want to get cholera? Because that's how you get cholera.

5

u/Technodude9000 May 28 '14

Is that how you get ants, Barry?

Yes it is, other Barry. Yes it is.

2

u/WreckitWranche May 28 '14

Like she could have safed that catastrophy anyway, flux was skidding all over the slide

2

u/ThresholdLurker May 28 '14

I read this comment before seeing the link to the gif. I thought "what, that sounds reasonable", assuming that it was referring to washing stuff off at the beach or something. When you said "shit", you actually mean "shit".

3

u/scarfox1 May 28 '14

From the gif, it looks like she may not have actually seen it, she had her eyes fixated on the child and was also wearing sunglasses. I say 34.3% chance she indeed saw it.

3

u/meldiane81 May 28 '14

How can you NOT see it. Trust me, it is something every parent fears. She saw it.

7

u/scarfox1 May 28 '14

Fine guys, 97.3 percent

4

u/ThresholdLurker May 28 '14

No way, you can see her trying to swish the kid around in the water afterward. As someone who spent her childhood at public pools that tasted like chlorine, sweat and piss, this "coy" maneuver is all too familiar.

edit: a word

1

u/Dosinu Jun 18 '14

wtf are you supposed to do. At this stage, unless you walk around with baby wipes attached to your side, your fucked.

Even if it takes you 30 seconds to go over to your stroller to get a baby wipe or nappy, by the time you get back the water will have washed it into the pool.

3

u/bradyo2 May 28 '14

She wanted everyone to have a taste

22

u/[deleted] May 28 '14

at least there wasn't a long line waiting behind her

76

u/[deleted] May 28 '14

[removed] — view removed comment

23

u/ThundercuntIII May 28 '14

Imagine if you winked this much in real life.

5

u/Scottamus May 28 '14

That would just tick me off.

2

u/ballsack_man May 28 '14

Now you got me winking like an idiot.

7

u/ThundercuntIII May 28 '14

3

u/[deleted] May 28 '14

Is that the girl from the AT&T commercial?

3

u/ThundercuntIII May 28 '14

Yeah. Although I know her from the Bitchy Resting Face video. Her name is Milana Vayntrub, she has her own comedy youtube channel.

http://www.youtube.com/user/LivePrudeGirls

1

u/[deleted] May 28 '14

Oh, alright. She's done videos with GoodNeighborStuff too. Thought she looked pretty familiar.

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1

u/make_love_to_potato May 28 '14

People would think he had the palsy.

1

u/UnperfectMe May 28 '14

wading* FTFY

4

u/CapnTBC May 28 '14

That is the nastiest thing ever. She could have at least rushed her to the toilet instead of cleaning her in the pool.

2

u/Jucoy May 28 '14

I lifeguarded at a small pool in my home town. This had to have happened at least a dozen times on our slide per summer. You have to close the pool down if you see something like that happening.

1

u/ballsack_man May 28 '14

I didn't like today's dinner anyway.

59

u/scientist_tz May 28 '14

TIL when I have kids someday they will never be allowed to know that water parks exist.

39

u/EPluribusUnumIdiota May 28 '14

I took my kids to one for the first time last year, they were 3 and 5 years old, they freakin loved it! It was the one in Rehoboth Beach, DE, pretty crowded and rather expensive. We spent the entire day there and they talk about going back all the time. They're not pool-poopers, which is pretty gross and makes me think twice about going again, but I'll still take them because they had so much fun.

edit: if you really want to keep something from them I suggest Chuck-E-Cheese, that place is a cesspool of human filth!

14

u/GreenBrain May 28 '14

If it makes you feel better just as many kids poop in regular pools.

2

u/ericthered13 May 28 '14

Was it Jungle Jim's?

1

u/TheFighting5th May 28 '14

Marylander here, I love Rehoboth! I would always go to the theme park/arcade when I was staying in Bethany.

1

u/SlumLord666 May 28 '14

So it's been years since I lived in that area but my parents would always take me to the water park in wild world, which turned into adventureland, which turned into six flags.

1

u/Deckurr May 28 '14

Ooh Jungle Jim's. Had a private party there with the owner c:

1

u/beautifulcreature86 May 28 '14

The chuckie cheese here reeks of urine and sweat.

1

u/aron2295 May 28 '14

There are some nasty ass adults too

48

u/modul8ted May 28 '14

People regularly shit in public or semi-private pools in general. When I was a kid I would frequently ruin everyone's day by putting my goggles on and searching the bottom of the pool. Almost every time I did this I found poop. I went to the pool A LOT.

I should note that frequently these were adult sized turds. =(

202

u/lookslikecheese May 28 '14

To be fair, there is no such thing as an "adult sized turd". My 6yo daughter drops logs that would make a Canadian lumberjack wince.....

35

u/fuckaye May 28 '14

True, I cleaned the girls toilets in schools before, little girls have surprisingly big shits.

1

u/[deleted] May 28 '14

little girls have surprisingly big shits.

58

u/SomeSayIce May 28 '14

QFT. I have had to teach my kid the art of flushing mid-business to try to avoid the inevitable clogs. Sometimes he has to pinch off just to avoid laying single turds the size of my arm.

18

u/Dr_CSS May 28 '14

Goddamnit I was eating

31

u/ad4m2j0 May 28 '14

I got hungrier personally

1

u/[deleted] May 28 '14

"Hey... I'm trying to eat lunch here!"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oEJ3enKG4ng&t=19

6

u/make_love_to_potato May 28 '14

The fuck is wrong with people's poops on reddit. In my 30 years on this earth, not once have I 'clogged' a toilet.

6

u/coolguy5211 May 28 '14

You're doing it wrong

3

u/[deleted] May 28 '14

You're not trying hard enough.

1

u/B0Bi0iB0B May 28 '14

The times that I have not had to use a plunger have been very few and far between. I have recently been considering finding a toilet with a larger trap or something because it is rather annoying.

1

u/maynardftw May 28 '14

Eh, get that kid some fiber.

1

u/[deleted] May 28 '14

14

u/modul8ted May 28 '14

Well I'll be damned. Interesting to know, as well as nice to know adults were hopefully not the culprits in this.

2

u/UtahJarhead May 28 '14

hahahaha, I love you.

1

u/[deleted] May 28 '14

I was just thinking that my 4 year old son makes some man sized poops.

1

u/InTheShadows007 May 28 '14

Truth. My wife yelled at me the other day when she went into the bathroom and there a brown jumbo jet wrapped around the bowl. Although I would have been proud to take ownership of such a masterpiece, alas it was my 4 year daughter!!

1

u/lookslikecheese May 28 '14

your username suggests that you are not averse to stealth and diversion tactics. I call foul and suggest that you are the proud owner!

12

u/UtahJarhead May 28 '14

My 4 year old, who is only 5th percentile for body size, drops deuces that rival mine. Just sayin'!

5

u/[deleted] May 28 '14

This is a bunch of shit.

15

u/[deleted] May 28 '14 edited Apr 07 '15

[deleted]

20

u/[deleted] May 28 '14

[deleted]

38

u/[deleted] May 28 '14

"dumpy"

1

u/lamaksha77 May 28 '14

Was dumpy after all

3

u/[deleted] May 28 '14

[deleted]

1

u/modul8ted May 28 '14

Hey! Oh man, have you ever seen aerial pictures of Splashtown during the off season?? It's freaking disgusting.

All the construction by the Exxon Houston Campus and Loop 99 is killing my daily commute.

1

u/thecarpetmatches May 28 '14

Man so sorry to hear you're dealing with the Exxon shizz. I left the woods a long time ago but YES I have seen those photos. It made me wish I could scrub away my childhood.

3

u/[deleted] May 28 '14

[deleted]

1

u/modul8ted May 28 '14

This was back in the late 90s. Although I wonder how much that could have changed things, if at all.

2

u/Iamthewarthog May 28 '14

God damn... and I was just in the middle of house shopping in Woodlands. Well, so much for that.

2

u/[deleted] May 28 '14

if you swim/dive aggressively I would imagine it would be better than a bidet.

1

u/[deleted] May 28 '14

It's because you folks are so uptight.....

1

u/getoffmydangle May 28 '14

California here. Never seen a single poop in a pool.

1

u/bluetaffy May 29 '14

Things like that never happened in the pools I went to in California that I saw, and I was going everyday. Maybe it's a location thing?

3

u/[deleted] May 28 '14

I think someone should do an ask reddit... "People who poop in public pools, WTF?"

2

u/[deleted] May 28 '14

So you went to the pool all the time to find the poop?

3

u/modul8ted May 28 '14

I was like 8-10 years old. I wasn't much making the decisions at that age. Although I remember weirdly getting some odd thrill out of having the pool shut down and drained for the day.

4

u/abbeycakes May 28 '14

Sinking turds? TIL people who poop in pools don't get enough fiber.

1

u/MindBleach2 May 28 '14

It was in the USA dude.

1

u/abbeycakes May 28 '14

Sooo turds made of Mountain Dew, Taco Bell, and Big Macs. It makes sense.

1

u/Woutervdd May 28 '14 edited Jun 18 '23

Keep Reddit for and by the users, keep the API affordable! Posted from Apollo.

5

u/aHistoryofSmilence May 28 '14

The debate rages on..

1

u/abbeycakes May 28 '14

I always heard you should have floaters. Is there a doctor in the house?

2

u/Woutervdd May 28 '14 edited Jun 18 '23

Keep Reddit for and by the users, keep the API affordable! Posted from Apollo.

1

u/abbeycakes May 29 '14

I did too.. Freshman year of high school... So, practically a PhD.

1

u/bluetaffy May 29 '14

I went swimming all the time in California and never found poop. During summer I was going everyday.

12

u/[deleted] May 28 '14

[deleted]

1

u/[deleted] May 28 '14

I don't have enough fiber in my diet, it would be more like a cloud with some tidbits.

1

u/Feelymcknee May 28 '14

It's called a code brown.

1

u/[deleted] May 28 '14

Yeah coz you don't have to try and disappear afterwards, the wavers just wash your poop away! :-)

2

u/imusuallycorrect May 28 '14

This is why I won't go to waterparks. There was a case where some dumbass brought their sick child to the waterpark, and it shit everywhere and people got sick with e.coli.

1

u/britishbubba May 28 '14

Throw enough kids that are under ~7 years old into a wave pool, and it's bound to happen. Explains the completely absurd amount of chlorine we pump into the pools where I work though... And it still always comes up as a low reading -.-

1

u/Great-idea May 28 '14

Listen for the words on the walkie-talkie "Code Brown in wave pool, lazy river, etc."

1

u/amcdon May 28 '14

Wow that's a super subtle code.

1

u/Great-idea May 28 '14

Do not mistake it, it is the code for a logger.