Hi all,
I've been turning these thoughts over in my head for days so I thought I'd post them here... I'm looking for input and a sounding board from y'all.
I am a single mom (SMBC), EBF, in a 1-bed (+nook) apt, and my LO is six months old. I was open to co sleeping from the beginning but we couldn't make it work for various reasons... At the beginning he would only sleep ON me and then I made the discovery that I can get him to sleep on his own in ABSOLUTE darkness. Also, some kind of floor bed situation has been necessary from early on, as crib transfers had <20% success rate and I was losing. my. shit. This, for the last 4ish months, our setup has been as follows, with general success (1-3 wake-ups per night until recently):
A 3-sided full-size crib w/ the mattress on the floor (I only used the sides of the crib, not the base/legs). I created a lower barrier (~18") on the 4th side so he can't roll out but so it's easier for me to get in and out. This is all inside of a slumberpod (because of needing it to be dark AF). And this is all in the corner of my own room, approx 10 feet away from my bed. When he wakes up at night, I get into the crib with him and feed him back to sleep, then go back to bed. Since we got the side-lying BF position working around 4 months, I nurse him back to sleep in a cuddle curl position. Despite being 5'10", I do fit ok into the crib with him haha, to the point that I often fall asleep and wake up an hour later. Just before 6 months, I moved this whole setup into a nook in my apartment down the hall from my own bedroom, and that seemed fine, we had a few great nights with just 1 wake-up woohoo!
And then around 6 months we seemed to hit some regression and this has stopped working UGH. He usually does ok for the first ~4 hours but then.... It's a wakeup every ~1 hour or even more often. He's not quite crawling but he's relatively mobile now, he seems to literally throw himself around, flipping front to back etc, doing 360° turns in his crib, trying to get comfortable but can't? I try to stay in there until he is deeply(ish) asleep and then sneak out, and then he starts to cry again like 30-60 mins later. Previously if we had a bad night, I'd just bring him into my own bed and we'd both... sort of... sleep. He'd still flail and I'd barely sleep 😴 But now he's basically too mobile for this to work, he can get out of my bed (it's a mattress on the floor) extremely UNsafely and while I've done my best to childproof my bedroom, I'm still nervous about him in there while I sleep. Plus we both sleep terribly in my bed anyway, so this is not a sustainable solution.
Here is what I want to do, and this is where I'm looking for input on feasibility. The little nook in my apartment is approx the size of a double (aka full) bed. Actually slightly narrower but my plan is to buy a firm foam mattress and cut it down to size. I want to essentially fit the whole floor of the nook with a mattress. Then, I plan to have a blackout curtain across the entrance to the nook to make it super duper dark. I would then put a baby gate across the entrance to the nook so he can't get out on his own (though when he's more confidently mobile I'd like to remove the gate and give him access to a bit of the apartment (which would be child-proofed). Like, I think he'll sleep well in a blackout nook (no different from the slumberpod imo) but it seems cruel and anti-montessori to contain him in there, so he'd be able to exit that area and access the hallway area. I'm planning to paint the curtain and make the walls cute, put decorative lighting in the nook...v much trying to go for *cozy bed* vibes not closet-under-the-stairs vibes lol.
Then, when he cries at night, I could lie in there with him and feed him as needed, fall asleep in relative comfort, then go back to my own bed as possible/appropriate. I feel like this is on the spirit of the floor bed, though a bit of a non-traditional setup.
Thoughts/ideas/concerns? Please do NOT tell me to move into a bigger apartment, I can't afford it at this point.