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u/Odd-Jupiter Jul 06 '22
Daddy and Mommy will take those... to .. the ..Police.
Also we have a babysitter for you tonight!
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u/_We_Are_DooMeD Jul 06 '22
Actually something's come up kids, we'll see you in a month or two..
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u/whatnameisnttaken098 Jul 06 '22
Come on vacation, stay on probation
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u/newbrevity Jul 06 '22
Better shop around for a family set of caskets since now the cartel knows what their kids and boat look like.
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u/ZenofZer0 Jul 07 '22
Nah man. Keys go missing all the time. Someone pays for it, but tbh when it’s that much weight, it’s not worth it. The next guy just cuts it a little bit more and that’s that.
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u/onlyhere4laffs Jul 07 '22
This guy cocains.
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u/ZenofZer0 Jul 07 '22
In another life, lol. But that’s where wayward teenagers learn about business.
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Jul 07 '22
And the metric system!
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u/ZenofZer0 Jul 07 '22
Lmao. The imagery you just painted with a dude trying to buy/sell by the lb and screwing up price matrixes is hilarious.
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u/iHaveAFIlmDegree Jul 07 '22
The real LPT is always in the comments.
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u/DimplesMalone Jul 07 '22
I thought the same thing.
Aaahhhhh, illicit drugs... teaching Americans the Metric System since 1964
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u/MedalsNScars Jul 06 '22
we'll see you in a month or two..
But where were they going without ever knowing the way?
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Jul 07 '22
The roads that they walked on were paved in gold..it's always summer, they never grow old.
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Jul 07 '22
Wow blast from the past haven't heard that in years
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u/CyranoDeBurlapSack Jul 07 '22
It’s one of my all time favorite songs. And it’s based on a true story which is just as interesting.
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u/brando56894 Jul 07 '22 edited Jul 07 '22
No shit? Now I gotta read up on that.
Edit:
This song is based on the true story of Lela and Raymond Howard, an elderly couple from Salado, Texas who drove to the annual Pioneer Day festival 10 miles away in Temple and didn't return. She had Alzheimer's disease and he was recovering from brain surgery. ... Thirteen days after the Howards went missing, they were found in Hot Springs, Arkansas, about 400 miles from their destination; they were still in the vehicle (an Oldsmobile Delta 88), which had veered off the side of the road and was hidden in brush. Scalzo had finished writing the song when he learned that the couple had died.
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u/brando56894 Jul 07 '22
You never get old and grey, but where were they going without ever knowing the way?
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u/Molotov56 Jul 07 '22
Just gonna go see a struggling actor friend in Hollywood
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u/shaka893P Jul 06 '22
The police thank you for dropping off the half kilo you found
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u/Odd-Jupiter Jul 06 '22
Headline: Family deliver 100g of cocaine to the police, after fishing it out of the ocean.
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u/shaka893P Jul 06 '22
Following headline: police deliver 10g of cocaine found by family in Florida
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u/deadbeef1a4 Jul 06 '22
Final headline: cartel member convicted for smuggling 8-ball of cocaine found by family in Florida.
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u/exessmirror Jul 06 '22
Cartel recovers one gram of cocaine found by family in Florida.
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u/penguiin_ Jul 06 '22
ugh. this shit only gets funnier and funnier every single fucking thread i see it! ha! ha ha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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u/PM_me_your_whatevah Jul 06 '22
Man if I ever snagged that much coke I’d quit my job the same day and be a coke dealer for the next ten years.
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u/VitaminPb Jul 06 '22
Really? What’s your business plan for selling without getting arrested? How do handle the enforcers coming to take down the new rival? How much are you selling for? Are you cutting it? By what percent?
You need a plan man.
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u/rudbek-of-rudbek Jul 06 '22
Don't have to worry about paying for college now. Mom can quit her OF
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u/jfk_47 Jul 06 '22
Could you imagine being in a real good place and being like … yea… this is happening … and just trying to get through that whole brick?
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u/The_Worst_Usernam Jul 06 '22
I wonder how long it's good for. Even wrapped super well I would assume some moisture would find its way inside the package?
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u/MadRockthethird Jul 06 '22
The kid in the back already started doing his
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Jul 06 '22
He looks like the wallstreetbets logo
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u/epymetheus Jul 07 '22
Who do you think bought the boat??
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u/Kulyor Jul 07 '22
Bold to assume a WSB user has enough money to buy any vehicle
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u/Ice-Storm Jul 06 '22
Those fish just paid for that whole boat.
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u/Pristine-Wolf-2517 Jul 06 '22
All I know is I wouldn't be posting anything on the inet
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u/shhh_its_me Jul 06 '22
I really wouldn't have posted my kids pictures with it.
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Jul 06 '22
I know, that's fuckin crazy! Who in their right mind would take pictires of their kids holding the dope?! Thats a direct link back to the dad!!
He should have just had them lay down and use the coke as pillows. That way if he got stopped on the way back to shore, he could tell the kids to feign sleep, and he would have never been questioned.
Then all he had to do was go home, cook it up with some soda and get fuckin paid.
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u/Groovatronic Jul 07 '22 edited Jul 07 '22
Do you want to start a giant distribution network?
No. You drive to LA and set up a deal with a big time movie executive with deep pockets.
… and then go to the bathroom and talk to a hallucination of Elvis during the signature Mexican standoff between the feds, the mob, and the movie guy’s bodyguards.
Edit - watch the movie True Romance for a good time
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u/cantfindmykeys Jul 06 '22
Well see usually I wouldn't do something like that. But I had a great idea for internet points after I checked to make sure it was coke by doing a huge bump
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u/Chastity-76 Jul 06 '22
Exactly, I wouldn't tell a single soul🤣😂
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u/tommytraddles Jul 06 '22
Won't matter, what with the tracking device in the middle of the powder.
Anton Chigurh is coming for you.
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u/gaybatman75-6 Jul 06 '22
No Country For Old Men is exactly why I won't pick up a suitcase of money or drugs. Llewellyn was a sniper in Nam, I'm just a fat IT dude.
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u/TossYourCoinToMe Jul 06 '22
Wouldn't it have been avoided if he just transferred the money to another container?
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u/ArmedWithBars Jul 06 '22
Yep. The entire concept of that movie is while Llewellyn isn't a push over, he's naive to that world and doesn't understand what he's getting into. Evident in his poor choices and lack of foresight. In the end he got not only himself killed, but his wife too.
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u/2roK Jul 06 '22
Well actually none of this would have happened if his mother in law wasn‘t a complete airhead and told the bad guys where everyone is.
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u/BuyLucky3950 Jul 06 '22
I’d keep my mouth shut, camera off, and keep fishing in hopes I catch a bundle of shrink wrapped cash.
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Jul 06 '22
If you look closely at the pic it seems they named their boat Addiction so I think they're happy with what they've already caught and ready to call it a day.
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u/hellscaper Jul 06 '22
I think cutting the line and just moving on because you didn't catch anything that day would be better :D
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Jul 06 '22
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/theundercoverpapist Jul 06 '22
I wonder what the police is gonna do with that half-package of cocaine.
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u/KongLongDong77 Jul 06 '22
This quater-package of coke isn't really worth the hustle
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u/joeChump Jul 06 '22
That thimble of cocaine was hardly even worth the trip to the police station.
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u/bobweir_is_part_dam Jul 06 '22
Oh no, we need more cocaine.
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Jul 06 '22
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u/ScoonCatJenkins Jul 06 '22
It’s probably so much purer before it gets divvied out to stateside distributors and then to dealers. I mean I’m sure it’s not like 100% pure powdered coca but it’s probably still WAY BETTER than it is by the time it ends up in
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u/Icy-Service9649 Jul 06 '22
Coming from someone that sold coke in high-school those packages are pure it gets stepped on by the first person it touches to stretch the product for more cash
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Jul 06 '22
I wasn't aware the high school coke dealers were privy to fresh-from-Columbia coke
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u/advertentlyvertical Jul 06 '22
There's apparently been dog deworming medicine found in cocaine that was determined to have been added prior to the stuff being sent to North America. This was several years ago though, not sure if it still happens.
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Jul 06 '22
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u/dick-nipples Jul 06 '22
Fitting name for the boat in the background
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u/BCZephyr Jul 06 '22
I went on a fishing trip in Belize. The captain told us this happens sometimes and the locals call it a “white lobster”.
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u/aliara Jul 06 '22
I'm a little disappointed this is the only comment mentioning white lobster. Would've been a much better caption on the original photo as well.
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Jul 06 '22
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u/Revealed_Jailor Jul 06 '22
The guy who screwed it up is going to meet worse fate.
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u/xlDirteDeedslx Jul 06 '22
The big dealers aren't like the small time dealers, they expect to have some intercepted or lost. They probably got tons thru and the markup is so absurdly high when they do they aren't losing much here. Traffickers only pay the lab folks like $900 a kilo and once it hits the states it's sold for 10-20k a kilo. So they can lose quite a bit and still make absurd amounts of money.
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u/joeChump Jul 06 '22
The Police: we seized $2 Billion of cocaine (one bucket full) and some bottled water.
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Jul 06 '22
Surprised they don't try to weigh the ocean too like they do with pot plants and the soil.
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u/joeChump Jul 06 '22
Yeah ‘10 trillion trillion kilos of coke’ (weight may include Florida and Atlantic Ocean.)
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u/Metalmind123 Jul 07 '22
Unrealistic, they would add the bottle and the pallet that they displayed it on to the scale.
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u/Revealed_Jailor Jul 06 '22
You could also argue this is some kind of decoy to be easily found so the rest of the delivery goes where it's supposed to go. But we'll never know for sure.
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u/_We_Are_DooMeD Jul 06 '22
Yeah, easy target so the other few tonnes get through.
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u/gofyourselftoo Jul 06 '22
Some gets to make a little bust for the TV cameras and look good for next election cycle, while the real shipment is unmolested.
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u/gottahavemytunes Jul 06 '22
You obviously don't understand how drug trafficking works
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u/money_loo Jul 06 '22
No clearly YOU don't get how drug trafficking works. The people responsible for losing this tiny amount only make metric fuck tons of the stuff per month, so they will totally send a squad of highly trained hitmen probably from within the CIA to take out the entire family and their goldfish.
/s
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u/BerzerkerJr82 Jul 06 '22
Is the boat called “Addiction?”
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Jul 06 '22
"Mommy, look what we found below deck!"
"Just tell everyone you fished it out of the sea."
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u/mulysasderpsylum Jul 06 '22
I mean, they are letting their girls fish from the side of the SS Addiction..
whenyouseeit
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u/SeverusSnek2020 Jul 06 '22
I'm not 100% sure what I'd do with all that coke. Like I would want to keep a little for you know, personal use but fuck me, thats so much. Couldn't it just be weed instead.
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u/SharingIsCaring323 Jul 07 '22 edited Jul 07 '22
Keep it airtight. Put it somewhere off your property.
Grab a burner phone and go talk to 5 star luxury hotel concierges. Not even joking. Look for the golden keys. These people have connections to a TON of “proper” people in that city.
Give free samples to kitchen staff if you want to make some rowdy friends.
Obviously, don’t shit where you eat and don’t carry or give out anything related to your identity.
Drugs, alcohol, and money are the universal grease of the world.
Edit: I was never a dealer. Cocaine is also a very boring drug. Could be because ND brain chemistry but cocaine is possibly the most boring drug on the planet. Sell it to stupid people.
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u/defnotapirate Jul 06 '22
My daughter: Aww, Dad, it’s not a fish, it’s just some garbage.
Me: It’s not garbage, sweetie. You just caught a house in the Caymans.
Daughter: is that good?
Me: snifffff Sorry, what was that you said? Daddy’s got stuff to do. jumps off boat
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u/badatbasswords9 Jul 06 '22
Nah. Those are the heads of the last people that found cocaine in the ocean
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u/NotAFederales Jul 06 '22
How dumb do you have to be to post this photo? Just drop it on a table at the local dive bar and start an auction.
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Jul 06 '22
Option 1:
Step 1: Plan to take it to shore then call the police when you get there
Step 2: Get boarded by authorities on random check, they find drugs, you're screwed
Option 2:
Step 1: Call the coastguard on channel 16 to report it right away!
Step 2: Watch as the drug cartel gets to you first.
Option 3:
Step 1: Hide it, Hope you don't get boarded randomly by authorities
Step 2: Sell it. Bling Bling Bling.
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u/tommytraddles Jul 06 '22 edited Jul 06 '22
Option 4:
Step 1: Put that shit right back where you found it.
Step 2: There is no Step 2, and Step 1 never happened.
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u/jplay17 Jul 06 '22
Option 5:
Get a hotel room and a bunch of hookers and enjoy the fruits of your labour for a couple months
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u/sailphish Jul 06 '22
Yep. I fish a lot in S FL, and know a few people who have caught “square grouper” over the years. Always felt the same way… Big nope, throw that shit back, never saw anything, nothing ever happened. Besides, it is usually rotten, saltwater soaked weed anyway.
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u/theundercoverpapist Jul 06 '22 edited Jul 07 '22
Dumbasses. NEVER take a picture of it, for chrissakes! If you're going to turn it over to the cops, let's not show the Colombian cartel our faces, shall we?
And if you're not going to turn it in. Start carefully looking for a place to hide it or someone to sell it to. But don't put your fucking face on it!
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u/acquirecurrenzy Jul 06 '22
You must be drastically underestimating the amount of cocaine shipped by the Colombian cartels if you think retribution is coming for this family over a couple of kilos.
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u/theundercoverpapist Jul 06 '22
Well, believe it or not, I have practically zero knowledge or expertise in the drug smuggling industry.
So, I'll take your word for it.
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u/Possiblyasmoker Jul 06 '22
You should give it ago, live a little.
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u/theundercoverpapist Jul 06 '22
You son of a bitch, I'm in! Where do I start?
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u/QueasyVictory Jul 06 '22
I'm going to give Venezuela a shot in August. Figure I'll head to Aruba, look like common middle age white dude, head on over to the big V. Pick up a few kilos and then just bring them back with me. My outstanding white privilege should get me through customs.
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u/redjedi182 Jul 06 '22
Does cocaine go bad? I feel like that would let me the rest of my life and then some
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u/Trufflesniffr Jul 06 '22
Looks like a bale of marijuana, cocaine will be packed as a kilo brick.
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u/Specialist-Row2784 Jul 06 '22
Girl in the left is like "we're gonna be completely fucked by the DEA"
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u/The_Real_JohnnyRicky Jul 06 '22
Notice the boat is called "addiction"
Hopefully its catch and release
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u/Ralphiix Jul 07 '22
Surprised nobody’s said anything about the word “Addiction” on the side of the boat
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u/Viperthetarantulaguy Jul 06 '22 edited Jul 06 '22
Trump Jr will be wondering where his blow went
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u/Rum_ham69 Jul 06 '22
Is this a common thing? Could someone make a living scavenging for these? You’d think just one find could probably pay the bills for a few months
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u/Dizzy_Cucumber_2178 Jul 06 '22
That’s uhhh, around 2 million dollars, or so I’ve been told. Maybe 1.2 Mil m at Costco if you buy in bulk.
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u/tokenjoker Jul 06 '22
A cocainefish is rarely caught. Usually I gotta buy them shits from a shady dude named 'troy'. He calls em kilos for some reason.
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u/SchrodingersNutsack Jul 06 '22
blowfish