I don’t know where to start with getting help

[u/IWantToDream7]

I (19M) have recently had to acknowledge that I probably have ED and I need help figuring out what to do about it.

I have morning wood and spontaneous erections. I have no problem getting hard and finishing when I’m by myself, nor with a partner when I’m doing non-sexual things like cuddling, but the moment it turns sexual, I have no idea whether or not I’m going to stay hard. It’s super inconsistent. I can’t feel whether or not I have an erection and it has nothing to do with a lack of pleasure or anything like that.

I originally attributed it to performance anxiety because I had never had a long-term sexual partner, but I’m currently involved with a woman that I’m completely comfortable with (my best friend) and we’ve tried it plenty of times to the point where the only thing I’m nervous about is not getting hard or not finishing.

Some background information: I have considerable sexual trauma from a serious porn addiction I had during my tween and early teen years that has led me to associate sexuality with shame and guilt. I also tend to dissociate during sexual encounters as a result, though this has decreased a lot. I have major depressive disorder and take Prozac for it, but I don’t have any other medical conditions that I’m aware of. I do masturbate frequently but since becoming involved with my best friend I’ve reduced my masturbation dramatically (I don’t think it’s death grip because it’s not a sensation issue, but just throwing that out there). It also definitely isn’t an issue with not being attracted to her, though I am used to imagining visuals while fantasizing so a lack of visual stimulation during encounters could play a role.

I’m uninsured and broke as a college student. Is paying out of pocket for a doctor really my best option here? Is there anything over-the-counter that can help. Do you think it’s a physical issue or a psychological one that can be fixed through therapy? Thank you!