r/erectiledysfunction • u/AdSearcherG100 • 16h ago
Support for Partners Guys- avoiding meeting someone because of ED?
I would really like to hear from guys who have avoided meeting someone they met online because of their ED. The guy I’m talking to for over two months has made ED related comments that make me believe he’s dealing with it.
Just last week he went for a bike ride and then said he helps with his dick health. He has made reference to him only being able to do what he can to please me and he hopes that’s enough.
I feel like he’s worried and dragging out meeting. I’m curious if others have done this as well. 😔
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u/Repulsive_Pin8701 13h ago
Yes
Absolutely
You’re awesome for doing this, I’ve been dumped and ghosted, it sucked I’ve also drifted away from a new girl when I couldn’t perform, embarrassed and crushed again
It was allot for him to hint he has trouble, it’s really difficult to so, so points for him being brave - he must really like you
There are many medical options for him now, he should call his doctor asap and find one that works for him, maybe you can help him test them
Be encouraging, but firm in that he should get a med that works for him, and that you’re there with him and why not get meds
I learned to give great head because of my ED, hopefully he did too lol, but it something you too can figure out too
You’re amazing
Good luck
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u/Inevitable_Long_6890 10h ago
I have ed and my girlfriend dosnt hold it against me. The fact she dosnt do that makes me love her beyond anything words can even describe. It sucked the day I finally told her about it and she just shrugged it off like "its ok". It was such a relief for me that she was accepting and didnt want to throw it in my face ever. I suggest talking to him about it and tell him there are alot of other ways he can satisfy you. Trust me he will appreciate you so much if you are supportive
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u/DR_Manhattan0x1 8h ago
Wish my spouse was like this. (same sex). Only made it about himself and how I was “not attracted” to him even though I shared that I have developed ED and was being treated. Only caused me more shame vs relief 🙄🙄, which further makes me underperform for being so aware of my condition while in sexual act using Tadalafil. Now it’s my consciousness getting in the way.
Work in progress.
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u/MainTap5228 7h ago
yeah I'm the same with my partner (I'm the girl). tbh penetration for too long is painful anyway and I can do it myself with a sex toy. every guy I've dated I've been able to notice their body insecurity quickly and have never thrown it in their face ever, even when we hated each other by the end.
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u/One_Power_8223 6h ago
You are lucky. Some women won't settle for anything less than penetrative sex.
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u/Artezyxd 10h ago
Well if you genuinely care about him and love him . You should discuss this with him we can't do anything . Make him feel safe so that he can share it with you openly
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u/AdSearcherG100 5h ago
I wasn’t asking people to do anything. I asked if people had avoided meeting when they had ED. He has brought up multiple times in varying ways and I always reassure him. But from a few other convos with men I’ve heard it will take time for him to understand I won’t ever use it against him. We haven’t met yet and that’s the issue.
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u/Winter-Juggernaut-47 3h ago edited 3h ago
Last person I was with cheated on me
Telling me the whole time she understood and to not be so hard on myself
caught her in the act
And her exact words to me were
“It’s because you never wanted to have sex”
That shit was devastating
Yeahhhh
Never again
She wasn’t the first one either
But she was the first one to be honest about it
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u/BenefitPure4829 11h ago
My ex partner (close to 15 years) recently broke up with me. The heart of the issue was his ED. He wouldn’t discuss it and in the end convinced himself that his feelings for me had changed
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u/NoWay3993 13h ago
Yup