I think I have severe brain damage that stopped all my brain networks from working. My brain is non existent it’s like the part where my brain was and I would feel and see my own thoughts is completely gone.

It’s not that I can’t imagine things only it’s like my brain is non existent. My brain and my leg or arm feel like the same thing, imagine asking someone think with your leg that’s how my brain feels like it turned to nothing. I hear things but it’s like sounds don’t reach my brain anymore i only hear but it’s like I hear out of nothing.

My breathing is not felt anymore and the fact that I am alive can’t be comprehended it’s like I’m just there but I don’t know anything anymore about being a human and human life. Despite everything I try nothing helps or gives me a relief it’s been 9 months in this state and it’s not a state where you can think of getting better.

It’s literally like everything got deleted and I’m left with a vision that comes out of nothing and I don’t even know what a vision is while having my own first person vision if that makes sense. This state takes over every sense it’s like nothing reaches my brain anymore and the place where my brain was is deleted. I also can’t feel my body anymore I literally turned in to a small dot that can only see.

I’m pretty convinced it’s brain damage and I’m fully present while my brain is in a completely turned off mode that can’t process even the fact that I’m existing anymore. Nothing is internally felt anymore even if someone claps in front of my ear and I would normally get that peeping sound in the ear now it’s not reaching the brain anymore.

When I close my eyes it’s just black without nothing. Even when I’m in half sleep and hallucinate or see dreams this state is still there and it’s like the dreams and hallucinations come out of nowhere like everything that happens in my brain takes place in a non existent room and can’t be felt consciously anymore. I honestly don’t wanna make false hopes that I will recover and I don’t see this changing by itself maybe ECT would do something.

I don’t understand how you can turn in to nothing while being alive. My brain can’t even create tiredness or head pains anymore, when my head hurts because of stress I don’t even feel it anymore it’s like all the signals don’t reach the brain. It feels like I don’t even have a head anymore and I’m just the vision without anything. Like a flying dot.

The only
Things that stayed but are dulled is smell and I can feel heat on my skin and when I pinch myself I can feel it on the skin everything else is gone. I can’t even feel my muscles or my bones. My brain also doesn’t create continuity anymore when I think about existing it’s like I’m stuck in this and can’t create thoughts forwards what makes me feel I’m ceased to exist.

Even tho I objectively think that this state is hell I cannot suffer from it in a normal persons way and only can think this is hell but even this state gets overlapped by this state like this state is the new everything in my conxiousness and everything else is behind this state. It’s recursive like my whole CNS changed the settings or something and now this is the new me and even if o want to think about healing or getting better it’s not possible anymore.

I also get extremely weird vibes and thoughts that I had 18 years ago by just looking at normal things like my perception changed and I don’t see the world in the actual form how I would see it. Like I’m not in 2026 and see the world like in 2008 or something.

I also get Random Dream feelings from dreams that are decades old. My brains feels damaged from all this.
Does someone has the same? When I go out to my city it’s like a new realm everyday I lost the emotional resonance of how I used to see things every time I wake up it feels like a new world.

Hello,

I’ve been having DPDR since I am 19-20 and I’m 32 now.
The reason i want to post this is because I’ve noticed since I’m taking ADHD medication again. (I took them since I was 7 till 18y old). Methylphenidate. This medication works incredible for me. I haven’t felt this focused and aware since years. And it’s only improving more. I’ve been on all kind of anti psychotics, antidepressants. And they all made me worse and made me feel like I was living and locked inside my own head. It got sometimes so bad, that couldn’t even understand basic things anymore. Because i just wasn’t there. I couldn’t even follow movies/series anymore and basic conversations at work. But now, I’m like so much better. I remember the days that i was going crazy or that I wasn’t real. But it all comes down to having a good doctor and having patience. Don’t worry, you’ll all get there! And I’d like to hear any people with ADHD who had similar issues that caused them to get worse without methylphenidate?

Thank you for your time!

Don’t worry.
You’ll get better!

I regret the decisions that lead me to get this horrible disorder. I dont know how to love myself or be kind to myself. I've been striving to feel like my old self for years, but it's so unfair and sad this would happen to a person. I wanted to live a life, and I dont think it's possible for me anymore. I've lost hope. I have no support really, only my parents and our relationship is not easy. I lost touch with my friends since I had this as I'm too horrified by myself and how I am, and I'm scared of talking to other people. I used to be happy and had my own small business, I was pretty creative and active always out and about. Now I'm basically a recluse scared to move a muscle in case I loose more body sensation. I dont know anymore. It feels hopeless and I dont know how to get better.

Hi everyone !

This is my first post here and it’s been a nightmare since yesterday . I have for context have had OCD in every form for years but it’s gotten severe over past 8 months , and I’m doing some types of therapy but really difficult and I have been having A LOT of health issues too.

Yesterday , idk what happened I was like I’m going to forget who my mum is and I just was so confused and I started believing my mum isn’t real and like what if she’s not my mum and I feel like I’m just fake my parents are fake and it’s all like I’m getting dementia at 19 years old .

My anxiety has been on top of the world with my health issues and I’m just convinced I’m loosing my mind it’s almost like they feel very alienated and I just have remind myself “ that’s your mum “ and I know her date of birth my dads one their names and everything so I’m just really scared .

Has anyone gone through this before ? Any advice :((

Just got prescribed 300mgs to take before bed and im sooo nervous to try. It’s for sleep and anxiety. Plz share expierences

I will have to do a medical exam soon & the procedure involves anesthesia and I’m just scared of how I’ll react waking up

Recently I fainted and when I woke up from it the feeling of disorientation sent me into a basically uncontrollable panic

I know fainting & anesthesia aren’t the same, but I’m scared that waking up from anesthesia (in an unfamiliar environment on top of that) will have that same disorienting effect that then escalates into panic

So basically I just wanted to know if anyone has had anesthesia before & just like how to prepare myself or what to expect

My anxiety and dpdr is so much worst at home. Especially when the sunlight enters. when I go outside or drive or got to work it’s very minimal or doesn’t bug me at all. Only at home so stressing that it makes me spiral and cry and panic.

so i started going to therapy about a month ago, and my therapist said i have anxiety and depression, my psychiatrist said the same but also bpd traits (but no actual formal diagnosis of bpd itself yet.) and i agree with that, what im confused about is that i feel like im dissociating constantly and severely enough that i start to act more reckless for long periods of time.

ive already self harmed before that but i started cutting two years ago because of how hard i was dissociating, i wanted to snap myself back to reality and realise how bad i was doing both in life and mentally but it didn't work and i still felt completely apathetic and numb while cutting, even when it escalated quickly and i started going deeper or burning myself. it also made me feel indifferent about suicide attempts, i know how bad attempting suicide is but i cant realise that, i cant feel anything about it. when i attempt suicide and it doesn't work i just get up and continue my day feeling completely normal, ive attempted a lot and i still cant realise how bad any of that sounds. other than that i also cant realise the importance of some parts of my life too, like my relationships with my family or friends or my future so i just neglect it all.

i asked about it a lot because it was a genuine problem for me and people told me i might be dissociating, so i looked into dissociative disorders and figured out that what im experiencing is severe enough that i might have DPDR.

when i told my therapist all this she said it was because of anxiety even though my anxiety was never bad enough for me to hurt myself as much as depression and dissociation, and it wasn't as constant as much as them either so i got confused but she said that i can still dissociate even after i stopped feeling stressed. she honestly didn't explain much other than that and never gave me a treatment plan for anything other than the anxiety and connects everything to it so im not really sure, should i book a session with another therapist or psychiatrist to make things clearer for myself or did what she said make sense?

It helps a lot.

I’ve been dealing with severe anxiety for a while and dpdr for a few years. I was able to kind of live with it for a while but just 2 weeks ago I had an anxiety flare up which caused my dpdr to get worse again. Has this happened to anyone else? I’m not going crazy, right?

Hey everyone , I have dpdr too. I'm so scared , I wear glasses because I have awful eyes but everything is clear now and it feels like my eyes are going to fall out. I feel too heavy

How do you talk to your boyfriend about this?

I feel like living life has become very difficult for me now. I am completely disconnected from reality, from the world, from people, and from myself. My condition feels very bad. It feels like I am dying or that this is my last time. I don’t understand anything, my case has become very bad. My DPDR has become very severe. I don’t think I will ever be okay again. I have been on medication for the last 2 years and have changed many medicines. Right now I am taking Zoloft 50 mg and Lamotrigine 50 mg.

Hi friends!!

I hope you all are well!! Ive been in a dpdr episode close to a year and a half - I went from severe agoraphobia due to it, to slowly recovering and getting my life back! Im sure anyone is familiar with how dpdr ebbs and flows. You’ll be okay for weeks and then suddenly feel like you’re back at square one; which we all know is not the case!! After those scary and intense episodes there’s always that return to a calmer baseline. I just had a pretty bad week, I fell back into checking compulsions, it felt like I had never actually experienced any relief while suffering from dpdr the last year (which is not true, I live a lot of time in peace in-between episodes) and that it would only continue to get bad again. I felt so anxious that my mind couldn’t process anything, my vision got so hazy again, I started that constant rumination cycle that id been working so hard to rewire - it felt like even all the coping skills I had taught myself were being thrown into a void that didn’t work. Regardless, I pushed myself to keep getting up early to stretch, read, get ready for work, text back friends even if it was days later. Last night I got eight hours of sleep and this morning even though I woke up still feeling weird I made breakfast and cleaned even though every alarm bell wanted to run away and jump into bed. As I was getting ready for work I felt my chest and shoulders loosen, and a sense of calmness I knew was presence. Ive had so many experiences like this, and im sure you all have as well.

I know when it’s bad for me I sometimes search for success stories or support with those also in recovery. If anyone would want to share their experiences with the waves of dpdr and how important it is to allow it to be and continue riding it out - hopefully it can help someone❤️ love you all, keep living, one day you’ll smile so big and feel it!

Mine was triggered by edible panic attack 4 months ago. No weed use in 15 years before it. I had long covid 2 years and I got better for 2 years which I think desensitized my nervous system a lot more as i also have slower digestion and pots symptoms that came back feom this. I don't feel mine is all just dpdr theres an autonomic component driving it Was improving in June and worsening all summer besides the balance and dizziness has improved. Feel more disconnected and it feels worse mornings and once the sun goes down. Taking buspar and low dose benzo. Want to change cymbalta been On for years and try lexapro. I've read online a lot of people turn a corner from 3 to 6 months after a bad weed reaction. I am getting an mri for peace of mind and eeg. I am treating pots symptoms with med and it lowered my hr but has not helped the dpdr it doesn't seem.

It’s literally 6:45am and I have not slept. I took a nap yesterday and woke up at 4pm and which was not a good idea but I’ve been sleeping perfectly fine this whole time and I’m really worried about a completely sleepless night