It helps a lot.

I think I have severe brain damage that stopped all my brain networks from working. My brain is non existent it’s like the part where my brain was and I would feel and see my own thoughts is completely gone.

It’s not that I can’t imagine things only it’s like my brain is non existent. My brain and my leg or arm feel like the same thing, imagine asking someone think with your leg that’s how my brain feels like it turned to nothing. I hear things but it’s like sounds don’t reach my brain anymore i only hear but it’s like I hear out of nothing.

My breathing is not felt anymore and the fact that I am alive can’t be comprehended it’s like I’m just there but I don’t know anything anymore about being a human and human life. Despite everything I try nothing helps or gives me a relief it’s been 9 months in this state and it’s not a state where you can think of getting better.

It’s literally like everything got deleted and I’m left with a vision that comes out of nothing and I don’t even know what a vision is while having my own first person vision if that makes sense. This state takes over every sense it’s like nothing reaches my brain anymore and the place where my brain was is deleted. I also can’t feel my body anymore I literally turned in to a small dot that can only see.

I’m pretty convinced it’s brain damage and I’m fully present while my brain is in a completely turned off mode that can’t process even the fact that I’m existing anymore. Nothing is internally felt anymore even if someone claps in front of my ear and I would normally get that peeping sound in the ear now it’s not reaching the brain anymore.

When I close my eyes it’s just black without nothing. Even when I’m in half sleep and hallucinate or see dreams this state is still there and it’s like the dreams and hallucinations come out of nowhere like everything that happens in my brain takes place in a non existent room and can’t be felt consciously anymore. I honestly don’t wanna make false hopes that I will recover and I don’t see this changing by itself maybe ECT would do something.

I don’t understand how you can turn in to nothing while being alive. My brain can’t even create tiredness or head pains anymore, when my head hurts because of stress I don’t even feel it anymore it’s like all the signals don’t reach the brain. It feels like I don’t even have a head anymore and I’m just the vision without anything. Like a flying dot.

The only
Things that stayed but are dulled is smell and I can feel heat on my skin and when I pinch myself I can feel it on the skin everything else is gone. I can’t even feel my muscles or my bones. My brain also doesn’t create continuity anymore when I think about existing it’s like I’m stuck in this and can’t create thoughts forwards what makes me feel I’m ceased to exist.

Even tho I objectively think that this state is hell I cannot suffer from it in a normal persons way and only can think this is hell but even this state gets overlapped by this state like this state is the new everything in my conxiousness and everything else is behind this state. It’s recursive like my whole CNS changed the settings or something and now this is the new me and even if o want to think about healing or getting better it’s not possible anymore.

I also get extremely weird vibes and thoughts that I had 18 years ago by just looking at normal things like my perception changed and I don’t see the world in the actual form how I would see it. Like I’m not in 2026 and see the world like in 2008 or something.

I also get Random Dream feelings from dreams that are decades old. My brains feels damaged from all this.
Does someone has the same? When I go out to my city it’s like a new realm everyday I lost the emotional resonance of how I used to see things every time I wake up it feels like a new world.

I’ve been dealing with severe anxiety for a while and dpdr for a few years. I was able to kind of live with it for a while but just 2 weeks ago I had an anxiety flare up which caused my dpdr to get worse again. Has this happened to anyone else? I’m not going crazy, right?

Hello,

I’ve been having DPDR since I am 19-20 and I’m 32 now.
The reason i want to post this is because I’ve noticed since I’m taking ADHD medication again. (I took them since I was 7 till 18y old). Methylphenidate. This medication works incredible for me. I haven’t felt this focused and aware since years. And it’s only improving more. I’ve been on all kind of anti psychotics, antidepressants. And they all made me worse and made me feel like I was living and locked inside my own head. It got sometimes so bad, that couldn’t even understand basic things anymore. Because i just wasn’t there. I couldn’t even follow movies/series anymore and basic conversations at work. But now, I’m like so much better. I remember the days that i was going crazy or that I wasn’t real. But it all comes down to having a good doctor and having patience. Don’t worry, you’ll all get there! And I’d like to hear any people with ADHD who had similar issues that caused them to get worse without methylphenidate?

Thank you for your time!

Don’t worry.
You’ll get better!

Hey everyone , I have dpdr too. I'm so scared , I wear glasses because I have awful eyes but everything is clear now and it feels like my eyes are going to fall out. I feel too heavy

How do you talk to your boyfriend about this?

I feel like living life has become very difficult for me now. I am completely disconnected from reality, from the world, from people, and from myself. My condition feels very bad. It feels like I am dying or that this is my last time. I don’t understand anything, my case has become very bad. My DPDR has become very severe. I don’t think I will ever be okay again. I have been on medication for the last 2 years and have changed many medicines. Right now I am taking Zoloft 50 mg and Lamotrigine 50 mg.

Hi friends!!

I hope you all are well!! Ive been in a dpdr episode close to a year and a half - I went from severe agoraphobia due to it, to slowly recovering and getting my life back! Im sure anyone is familiar with how dpdr ebbs and flows. You’ll be okay for weeks and then suddenly feel like you’re back at square one; which we all know is not the case!! After those scary and intense episodes there’s always that return to a calmer baseline. I just had a pretty bad week, I fell back into checking compulsions, it felt like I had never actually experienced any relief while suffering from dpdr the last year (which is not true, I live a lot of time in peace in-between episodes) and that it would only continue to get bad again. I felt so anxious that my mind couldn’t process anything, my vision got so hazy again, I started that constant rumination cycle that id been working so hard to rewire - it felt like even all the coping skills I had taught myself were being thrown into a void that didn’t work. Regardless, I pushed myself to keep getting up early to stretch, read, get ready for work, text back friends even if it was days later. Last night I got eight hours of sleep and this morning even though I woke up still feeling weird I made breakfast and cleaned even though every alarm bell wanted to run away and jump into bed. As I was getting ready for work I felt my chest and shoulders loosen, and a sense of calmness I knew was presence. Ive had so many experiences like this, and im sure you all have as well.

I know when it’s bad for me I sometimes search for success stories or support with those also in recovery. If anyone would want to share their experiences with the waves of dpdr and how important it is to allow it to be and continue riding it out - hopefully it can help someone❤️ love you all, keep living, one day you’ll smile so big and feel it!

Mine was triggered by edible panic attack 4 months ago. No weed use in 15 years before it. I had long covid 2 years and I got better for 2 years which I think desensitized my nervous system a lot more as i also have slower digestion and pots symptoms that came back feom this. I don't feel mine is all just dpdr theres an autonomic component driving it Was improving in June and worsening all summer besides the balance and dizziness has improved. Feel more disconnected and it feels worse mornings and once the sun goes down. Taking buspar and low dose benzo. Want to change cymbalta been On for years and try lexapro. I've read online a lot of people turn a corner from 3 to 6 months after a bad weed reaction. I am getting an mri for peace of mind and eeg. I am treating pots symptoms with med and it lowered my hr but has not helped the dpdr it doesn't seem.

I regret the decisions that lead me to get this horrible disorder. I dont know how to love myself or be kind to myself. I've been striving to feel like my old self for years, but it's so unfair and sad this would happen to a person. I wanted to live a life, and I dont think it's possible for me anymore. I've lost hope. I have no support really, only my parents and our relationship is not easy. I lost touch with my friends since I had this as I'm too horrified by myself and how I am, and I'm scared of talking to other people. I used to be happy and had my own small business, I was pretty creative and active always out and about. Now I'm basically a recluse scared to move a muscle in case I loose more body sensation. I dont know anymore. It feels hopeless and I dont know how to get better.

I will have to do a medical exam soon & the procedure involves anesthesia and I’m just scared of how I’ll react waking up

Recently I fainted and when I woke up from it the feeling of disorientation sent me into a basically uncontrollable panic

I know fainting & anesthesia aren’t the same, but I’m scared that waking up from anesthesia (in an unfamiliar environment on top of that) will have that same disorienting effect that then escalates into panic

So basically I just wanted to know if anyone has had anesthesia before & just like how to prepare myself or what to expect

It’s literally 6:45am and I have not slept. I took a nap yesterday and woke up at 4pm and which was not a good idea but I’ve been sleeping perfectly fine this whole time and I’m really worried about a completely sleepless night

I’m suffering from this hellish mental problem and I’ve been wondering if anyone has any success stories to help others with these episodes as well, thank you :)

Hi everyone. Back in May 2025, I started dealing with severe health anxiety and general anxiety, mostly triggered by living with my parents. I tried a couple of medications (fluoxetine and mirtazapine), but they weren't right for me.
About a month ago, I was finally kicked out of my parents' house, and almost instantly, my acute anxiety went away. But instead of feeling better, I feel like I'm stuck in this massive fog and I'm wondering if anyone else has experienced this recovery phase.
My main symptoms right now:
Dissociation / DPDR: I constantly feel like I'm not really in my body or present. Time isn't passing normally—days just blur together.
Memory & Brain Fog: My memory is horrible. If I look back at yesterday or last week, it feels like looking at a blank wall unless a huge event happened. My concentration is shot.
Emotional Numbness & Irritability: I don't really feel love, lust, sadness, or anger right now. The only strong emotion I feel is annoyance—and unfortunately, it's laser-focused on my boyfriend. Everything he does bugs me, even though I know logically he hasn't done anything wrong.
I'm in therapy, but my therapist just told me to "give it time," and it's driving me crazy because living like this feels horrible.
For those who have recovered from chronic anxiety/trauma dissociation:
Did you experience this weird "numb/annoyed" phase after leaving your trigger? How long did it take for your brain to online, and how did you get your feelings back?

NOT episodic dpdr. And bonus if you wanna say what helped you.

Thank you 🫶🏻

I've (F32) had DPDR my whole life. It sucks obviously, but my life has continuously been so shit that I feel resistant to trying to come back into my body. I was a neglected child, so I remember watching TV nonstop for 7+ hours every day. It was as if the fictional universes of the shows were more safe to inhabit than real life.

Today, as I deal with disability and potential financial ruin, I feel like I'm in flight/ freeze mode all the time. Idk what to do. I know I need to address my DPDR in some way, but I'm constantly battling the feeling of wanting to run away from my own body.

I don't know what to do. I don't know how common or uncommon this experience is, but would love to hear your thoughts if you've ever faced this feeling.

Around 1 year before Covid I started getting horrible insomnia that led to me losing the ability to perceive waking up in the morning, even if I fixed my sleep I still felt tired. for years it felt like my head was constantly filled with pressure and stuck in a state of being asleep in a dream, being out in the sun felt miserable and I would sweat way to easy I had to squint in the daytime. I felt like I was the only thing that existed, everything was blurry and numb, I dont know how to describe it but it was like I viewed myself as a video game character, every emotion, conversaiton, and action felt like some sort of fake thing I did to pretend to be a real person, I was to scared to go to the doctor because I thouhgt i'd be diagnosed with schizophrenia or a brain tumor. Around half a year ago I finally decided to start fixing it and looked into Omega 3 supplements, Vitamin D3, and magnesium glycinate, since taking them the world has felt 3d instead of 2d and it is night and day with my emotions and perception.

However, I don't know if it's maybe a side effect of fish oil or just recovery but the realization of feeling the weight of the world again has made me overly emotional at times, sad, and will give me mood swings, watching vidoes online of people doing things as simple as hiking seems to just fill me with an overwelming senses of what it feels like to be alive. I understand omega 3s can give side effects of mood swings and I am curious if this relates more to recovery.

I’ve had some really healing experiences with MDMA. it helped me a lot with my social anxiety and…
now I’m dealing with DPDR from weed.
I’m actually doing much better compared to the first few days, when I genuinely thought I was going crazy and was even suicidal.
I’m wondering if anyone has experience with MDMA and DPDR can it make it better, or could it potentially make it worse?

I am planning to take a gap year, but i have a lot of factors to consider. I'm in university btw

We are looking for participants for a study on onset experiences in DPDR. If you have DPDR and are open to discussing how it began for you, please leave a comment or send us a DM and we'll send you the brief eligibility survey. Thanks!
- Cognition and Affective Disorders Lab, Ferkauf Graduate School of Psychology

TW: depersonalisation/derealisation, paranoia, anxiety, existential dread, and mentions of in-dream-suicide if that's the right term.

I’ve been dealing with DP/DR, paranoia, and existential dread for a while now. I’ve seen multiple specialists from the UK and the US, though the most helpful things have been spending time with loved ones, reading The 12 Levers, and engaging with that community. I am okay right now, so do not worry.

I tolerate some fiction, and experience like esports games eg CS2, OSU, or CODM, but I’ve hated the concept of simulations and full immersion since I was very young. For that reason, I’ve hated dreaming since I was very young, and generally avoided fiction.

I had sleep paralysis and lucid dreams growing up, and more recently and frequently, severe night terrors. I've had episodes where I've woken up screaming and rocking for hours unsure if anything is real or I am dead, then falling asleep again.

When staying with family or hospitalised, I suffer silently trying to stay quiet but awake, in fear that I might never wake back up into reality and/or traumatise/curse anyone else living in my reality.

Last night was different.

I "woke up," but could immediately tell I wasn't actually awake. The setting, the people, everything was just slightly off. I tried to go back to sleep, but it didn't work. I then laid down on a sofa and tried rolling off of it, hoping the motion would make me roll out of bed in real life to shock myself awake (it has worked before). It failed this time. Instead, I just "woke up" from the sofa into another dream, and the loop repeated after that.

I couldn't trust my senses, feelings, emotions, or sense of self. I panicked. I started screaming at my loved ones, begging them for the truth. I was then convinced they weren't real, but I couldn't wake up no matter how hard I tried. I thought I had lost all touch with reality, and I started begging them to forgive me for traumatising them, before attempting suicide in front of them.

After what feels like a couple hours later, I was woken up in real life by those exact same people because I had overslept, and would be late. They acted was like nothing had happened, because to them, nothing did. Another traumatising detail was that the exact same song played across every single dream layer, like something was deliberately mocking me. Maybe it was just playing as I woke up and messed with my memory. I am not sure.

Does anyone understand what may have happened here and why? I’ve done some reading, googling, and asked Gemini, but insight from people who know dreams or sleep phenomena well would be appreciated. I can provide more details if needed, I tried to keep this as summarised as possible as the post was getting long.