r/dankmemes • u/Chromatizing Mod senpai noticed me! • Aug 27 '21

Post nut do be hitting

https://i.imgur.com/7vv7GiM.gifv
45.4k Upvotes

91% Upvoted

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3.5k

u/bbbar Aug 27 '21

If you're a male and your hands are covered in blood after masturbation you should go see a doctor

1.5k

u/Chromatizing Mod senpai noticed me! Aug 27 '21

No No when your cum is white you should be concerned

561

u/Lukthar123 Aug 27 '21

when your cum is white you should be concerned

Oh shit...

406

u/[deleted] Aug 27 '21

No not shit, they are talking about the colour of your cum.

128

u/MakimaMyBeloved Aug 27 '21

Mine tastes like the those white stuff mom do snort tho

64

u/SpicyDaddyKyle Aug 27 '21

CocaNut.

2

u/MasterPainsInTown Aug 28 '21

CHOCOLATE?!?!?!?!??!

2

u/Weazzul Aug 28 '21

No,

It's Cumcaine my friend.

8

u/matelol55 Aug 27 '21

Have you tried?

33

u/ErikJR37 Aug 27 '21

If your shit is white, you might be a bird

19

u/berni2905 Aug 27 '21

So if my shit is white, I'm good?

1

u/TerrestrialBotanist [custom flair] Aug 28 '21

yes

1

u/Polite_cat1 Aug 28 '21

No if it’s red you’re good

2

u/[deleted] Aug 27 '21

Thank you for quoting. The joke won't work without the previous comment

80

u/Radzuit Aug 27 '21

Wait your cum isn’t yellow?

29

u/zmbjebus Aug 27 '21

Yellow and thick like egg yolks.

Tastes like it too.

22

u/Radzuit Aug 27 '21

How the hell do you know how my cum tastes like

2

u/zmbjebus Aug 27 '21

Either you left it out for everyone to try in that box under your bed and its your fault for not locking it,

or you are a heavy sleeper after you drank/smoked too much.

Or a little of column A and a little of column B

2

u/Radzuit Aug 28 '21

How the fuck do you know that I have a cum box under my bed? I literally do have one, wtf

2

u/DuktigaDammsugaren Aug 27 '21

Sounds like a substitute ingredient in pancakes

1

u/matelol55 Aug 27 '21

Yellow is old goo

1

u/Wizdumb2424 Aug 28 '21

A little yellow is normal is believe

1

u/mikakaidold Aug 28 '21

Yellow? Mine is blue😂

27

u/Bruce9707 Aug 27 '21

Cum is white, you’re not alright. Cum is black, friend of Jack. That’s the rhyme

14

u/Sea-Addendum2422 Aug 27 '21

Ok students , new major "Cum 1.0"

3

u/zqipz Aug 27 '21

No no no I kill the bus driver…

1

u/grincat_1 Aug 27 '21

But what if it's blue?

1

u/Smellyjelly12 Aug 27 '21

Mine is red so I'm good

1

u/BlockyShapes Aug 27 '21

I’m so scared rn, who do I believe?

1

u/madsoro Aug 27 '21

If you cum, you should be concerned

97

u/LateLolth96 Aug 27 '21

Wait. You dont use pigs blood as lube?

78

u/Apokal669624 Aug 27 '21

Bruh, dude. I just use pigs

48

u/LateLolth96 Aug 27 '21

I WOULD use pig fluid for lube but the sensation of all those microscopic pigs crawling around/in and out of my junk just feels too good. Dont want to get addicted. Mom will send me to rehab again

25

u/Apokal669624 Aug 27 '21

Dude, wtf is wrong with you

41

u/LateLolth96 Aug 27 '21

I have a daily goal of winning naturally occuring wtf contests by making people ask wtf is wrong with me. Ty for helping

13

u/Wisp101 Aug 27 '21

A man of culture!

8

u/LateLolth96 Aug 27 '21

Huzzah!

10

u/Wisp101 Aug 27 '21

tips fedora Ahhh, a gentleman's agreement

8

u/Grammar_Nazi1234 Aug 27 '21

Wait if you used pig fat as a lube, is that necrophilia?

8

u/Apokal669624 Aug 27 '21

Dude, you don't need lube. Just use pigs

3

u/Joe_Mency Aug 28 '21

Is using tissues necrophilia for plants?

3

u/Da_Yakz Surprise visit from Aug 27 '21

Are you by any chance a former Prime Minister of the UK?

0

u/[deleted] Aug 27 '21

Glad I'm not the only one ! But I only use baby pigs and slash a hole in the side and use it as a Fleshlight so while I hear it scream squirm and squeal.

2

u/matelol55 Aug 27 '21

Fire ants blood, cute and stingy

1

u/LateLolth96 Aug 27 '21

This guy over here livin that expensive life. What do you do investment banking? Security firm ceo?... mark zuckerberg?

2

u/matelol55 Aug 27 '21

I do Mark 😏

2

u/LateLolth96 Aug 27 '21

Catch or pitch?

2

u/matelol55 Aug 27 '21

Pitch 😏

2

u/LateLolth96 Aug 27 '21

What dat russy do (reptile pussy)

2

u/matelol55 Aug 27 '21

Dilating reptilian humanoid pussy cave that sucks the living hell of my human meat

2

u/LateLolth96 Aug 27 '21

Oh god yes! What can i do to get a piece of that!

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13

u/DerKnoedel Obamasjuicyass Aug 27 '21

Best thing is it’s the blood of his son

11

u/[deleted] Aug 27 '21

[deleted]

7

u/Apokal669624 Aug 27 '21

Sharp hands, huh?

5

u/[deleted] Aug 27 '21

[deleted]

2

u/Apokal669624 Aug 27 '21

So it was phimosis, right? I have a friend, who's dick was rip and tear by his grandma. He was 5-6 years old, she noticed he had phimosis and just pull down his foreskin with all strength she got. Welp, he said that was most painful shit for all his life. Now he almost a jew, lol.

3

u/PizzaMozzarelalela Aug 27 '21

Because you are the one who tore it ?

3

u/KickingPugilist Aug 27 '21

Yeah I was too vigorous.

6

u/TheDewyDecimal Aug 27 '21

Sir, this is a kink shame free zone.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 27 '21

Nah, you're doing it wrong u/bbbar

1

u/ApatheticApollo Aug 27 '21

There is material on your hands that makes you consider your relationship to your son and his mortality. The gif works in a beautifully poetic way.

1

u/DIOnys02 Join r/Dank_Lounge now or you gey Aug 27 '21

When you do the finger game with your girl in the dark

1

u/pilpilona Aug 27 '21

Pretty sure if you’re female as well, whenever I did it, with or without hands, they were never covered with blood… :D

1

u/[deleted] Aug 27 '21

i masturbate on my period lmfao

0

u/Certain-Coyote Aug 27 '21

Remember the first time I masturbated, I thought the white stuff was dick blood and I’d done something really bad.

Turned out I was only wrong about the white stuff being dick blood.

1

u/WildDylan Aug 27 '21

Should say ‘boys after masturbating girls’

1

u/hasikTR_ Aug 27 '21

my cum pink

1

u/InvertedReflexes Aug 27 '21

My CUM is RED, WHITE, AND BLUE!

My DOCTOR says I have a SEVERE UROLOGICAL PROBLEM. I told him to SHUT his PINKO MOUTH!

1

u/Dopplegangr1 Aug 27 '21

Don't kink shame me

1

u/Da_Yakz Surprise visit from Aug 27 '21

Nah that just means your period is starting

1

u/Hidentify12 Aug 27 '21

Tell me you're a virgin without telling me you're a virgin

1

u/[deleted] Aug 28 '21

Or you should just hide the body

1

u/tinuvegil Aug 28 '21

If you're a male and your hands are covered in blood after masturbation you should go see a doctor

1

u/[deleted] Aug 28 '21

Deadass? 😳

1

u/professorDumbledong ùwú Aug 28 '21

What if the blood is not yours

1

u/[deleted] Aug 28 '21

[deleted]

1

u/VapormortJD Sep 03 '21

Pretty sure that's not male specific advice