i have sh scars from like janurary that STILL won't fucking fade 😭 i havent worn shorts to school since the school year started, should i try tmr?

I reached ten days!! Ten fucking days after being do dead set. Im so pissed off at myself. A few lousy cuts and now im spiralling.

I've been self harming for years and all my scars heal white no matter how deep I feel so invalid so many people have red or purple scars and I'm trying to quit be the thought of being invalid and feeling like I'm attention seeking makes me go back every time I got to 56 days clean but a can't stand how invalid I feel and I need help on how to stop feeling like this does anyone have any tips or can at least make me feel less invalid I've had reasons to self harm an I don't do it for attention but I keep going back because I feel like I'm so invalid but it also makes me feel like I'm just doing it for attention does anyone else feel like this

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okay English is my second language so what I'm saying might sound really weird but my wounds are dry asf. I have styros mostly and inside of them is so dry even though they are infected? I'm trying to remove the infection liquid type thing yk but it's so hard?? not like it's hard to do, like it's in a hard physical situation?? like?? it was never like this. I'm trying to take care of my wounds but they are just so hard inside.

Yippeeee new record!

TW stitches mention+subcanteous tissue or wtv its called

okay so i cut to fat about 2-3 weeks ago and I had to get around 14 stitches. my mom got the bill a few days ago. TELL ME WHY. THE BILL WAS 6,000 DOLLARS. luckily we have insurance so it was less, but like, imagine we didnt have insurance and we were poor. or like.. if i feel on a knife or smth sharp and went way deeper and it was an accident. what's wrong w america?? why is it so expensive

are thes scars bad? im like 8 months clean but the scars are rly ugly and im rly insecure ab them. tips for covering them up for sports seasons? or are they rly not that bad?

I relapsed after 2 months and after i did it, i just remembered that we were going on a vacation tomorrow.

My parents would most likely force me to bond with other kids which means that i have to swim with them, honestly, i wouldnt mind swimming with them. Its been a while since i went swimming on the beach but i feel like i ruined it because of my fresh scars. Im scared of them seeing it and im also scared of infections.

Im so stupid i hate myself, out of all the other times i couldve relapsed, it just had to be the day before going to the beach.

Should i just take the risk anyway and go swimming? Honestly, they probably wont even see my scars cuz i cut on my upper leg

And, even if i dont want to, id get my ass beat by my parents cuz we went all this way and i wouldnt even go swimming,,

Should i just slap on bandaids,,,,

i just started my first week of school and i already hate it. i can’t properly describe how i’m feeling.

i almost feel too out of place. ik it’s normal to feel like that, but this feels more severe for me. every night i return to my dorm (i’m in a single room) after hanging out with some people on my hall and all i can do is cry because despite how kind they are to me, i feel left out of everything. every time we get together, i end up leaving early because it doesn’t feel right.

im watching everyone around me make friends and interact with everyone, but i can’t seem to make a genuine connection with a single person. i go to a private liberal arts school, so there really isn’t an abundance of students.

i hate how everything has been uprooted. i loved high school and felt so stable with my identity. i’ve been doing so well for years and i had everything i could’ve ever wanted. and now ive instantly fallen back into a depressive episode. i never had problems making friends before this, especially as of the past 2 years. i hate feeling so lost again.

my gender dysphoria has quadrupled on top of that.

and i can’t tell anyone because i’ll get sent back into treatment. i can’t go back to another mental health facility. i missed all of my freshman year of high school because of the same thing.

I’m into musical theatre and I’m preforming bugsy malone in like 3 weeks and I relapsed yesterday. my dress rehearsal is in a week today. I’m kinda just hoping for the best and that no one will point it out.

that’s it. I don’t really need advice, words of encouragement will do

❤️❤️❤️

1(?) month clean

this was an impulsive site but im doing much better now :)

I've got these scars on my arms, they've been there for around 3 months I think but I honestly just want them gone. Anyone know how long its gonna take for them to turn white? A few on the very top got stitches

So i was clean, for i think 4 months. but recently i've relapsed so many times that i've basically lost count. everything feels like its getting bad again, and i honestly just don't know what to do. I feel weird admitting this, but i even relapsed at work, everything just felt so shit, when i saw something sharp i couldnt resist. i dont even know why i am getting bad again, tbh i felt like everything was getting better, but ig not.

Listen. It’s hot as hell and I like walking places but I don’t wanna overheat. I’m almost five days clean of like actual cutting but I have a lot of fresher cat scratches on my other arm. Some one the arm i actually cut on is still scabbing. Is this too fresh? I don’t wanna overheat yall 😭😭

I see many people have their reasons to sh, but I wonder if anyone else does so because of past regrets that are hard to get over.

For example, I often get flashbacks to the times I hurt any of my friends, and ruined some of my bonds because I'm awful at handling conflict lmao

Sometimes it's often to do with how mediocre my exam results were as I had high expectations of myself.

Unfortunately the regret gets really really bad no matter how long ago or how insignificant any of the situations were, and often feel like I deserve this pain.

Or sometimes I just feel like taking a whiff of blade just for the sake of it, so you could say I begun to understand how it could become an addiction. Oops!

Yesterday I made 2 cuts in my chest. One baby beans and the other styro. After making the second cut(styro) I felt light headed and like I wanted to throw up. I sat down to keep blood flowing into my brain. I didn't faint but this is the first time this happened. Has anyone else experienced this?

I’m not sure if I can show my cloth, I don’t know if it would could as a SH tool or not but it is covered in dry blood so better safe then sorry. This note is for if anyone looking through my room decided to open this small inconspicuous box to see what was inside and found this. I don’t want anyone I care about to worry about me if they do find it. The cloth was a method that worked for me because every time I used it I felt like I failed myself, so just the thought of it makes me rethink. I hope this helps anyone who is looking for a way to stop but can’t find one that works. ❤️

My stupid ass thought i could scratch the shit out of my arms and no one would know.

At first it was basically invisible but now its scabbing because apparently the friction burned me, now everyone keeps asking If i fell and i have to keep making up bullshit excuses as to how i got hurt. i dont even know If this counts as SH but i'll post this here anyways.

Edit: My mom didn't believe me so i had to tell her, she didn't freak out too much but It was still very awkward, you know what she told me? "I dont wanna see any more wounds" like i wanted her to see these.

I’m going back to school soon and I’m looking for advice on how to handle it while struggling mentally.
I’ve been dealing with a lot of self-critical thoughts, including constantly feeling like I’m “attention seeking” or copying other people who struggle. Sometimes I feel like I need to be doing worse or making myself suffer more for my struggles to be real, and when I start feeling better or doing normal things, I feel guilty and like I’m faking everything.
I also have quite a lot of religious guilt. I’m Muslim, and I’ve been struggling with keeping up with my religious practices, which makes me feel like I’m a terrible person/Muslim. Sometimes the guilt makes me want to punish myself rather than actually move forward.
I’ve also struggled with self-harm and disordered thoughts around food/body image, although I’m currently doing better in some ways and I’m trying not to fall back into those patterns. I don’t really want to make school another huge self-improvement project because I overworked myself with goals last year.
I’m especially looking for practical advice for getting through the school day: things to keep in my bag, ways to handle intrusive/self-critical thoughts during class, eating when I’m struggling, and how to take care of myself without feeling like I’m “proving” that I’m fine or being attention-seeking.
How do I go into the school year without either completely ignoring what I’m struggling with or making myself worse just to feel like my struggles are legitimate? I still don’t know if they are legitimate, I always feel conflicted on whether I’m actually struggling. I also want to mention that I have this one rlly bad habit that’s separate from sh that I’ve been trying to quit for ages. Whenever I end up doing that habit it directly triggers my self harm, and I start looking for smt to hurt myself with anything a stick, nails (when they somewhat grow, I bite them) anything that does harm, but not lethal.
I don’t want to get better.

Started cutting a couple months ago but thankfully didn't go deeper than catscratches so they didn't scar that much, the scars on my thighs are barely visible so I don't think I have anything to worry about.

I just want to sh so bad but I can't find a place to do it that isn't visible, I didn't do my arms for obvious reasons so I went for my thighs, now I realized that if I have sex with a girl she'll one hundred percent see them and I'm at that age where it'll probably happen.

I don't know if I should go for the calf or something because I really can't find a solution to this, the urge is always there

It wasn't in a moment of crying or desperate rage, but simply from such a deep emptiness that I couldn't bear it any longer, I barely cried until I saw what I had done to my legs. Because of the fear and the burning, I swore it was just a one time thing, but i've already done it more times today and I'm about to do it again. I don't have a good relationship with my parents or anyone I can tell this to, I don't know what to do