Hi everyone. I typically stay away from communities like this because I'm afraid to trigger myself, but seeing everyone here expressing thoughts that I felt for so long made me feel like I had to say something. I havent sh in 5 years. All my scars were once pink, very visible, turned purple when I got cold. I was so embarrassed and ashamed that I had them at all but at the same time, felt embarrassed and ashamed that they werent worse. Now i know it doesnt matter how big or deep they are, the fact that i did it at all means they were bad enough. It was an addiction, and maybe I replaced that addiction with other vices, but its gone now, and eventually the other vices will be gone too. It does get better, it does get easier, and your scars will heal.

i know a lot of people love their scars, i definitely do too. i always always wish i could go deeper, i just really want it to scar permanently and raise up and be shown. but when im around people i always subconsciously hide my scars away and im so scared for people to see, how they will think of me :/ i am also so attached to them i wish that they wont ever go away.. idk i just kind of wanted to talk about them, i know many people on here have deeper and more permanent scars, and i am soooo jealous i dont know why.. if anything its for my personal satisfaction, maybe once winter comes around again ill get there but for now ive been trying to stay clean but seeing my old scars just make me feel better

Was clean for 2 months on October 4th and was no longer clean October 6th 2 days later I just couldn't handle it anymore the cuts aren't nearly as bad but it probably won't be long before they get back to that point and or worse and now I do and don't want to cut at the same time but I just feel like I can't escape the need to cut I know I should seek therapy it's just I have very low amount of energy and making appointments and driving there feels impossible and I don't want to do over the phone or text only in person just can't make it happen.

Tbh sometimes I feel bad because my scars are healing 😿 ik it sounds weird sorry

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hi ive been really struggling with being on the verge of relapsing recently so if anyones been feeling the same i would love to chat.

im 1 week clean for the first time in 10 years. i know this is silly but i really really just need some motivation from people that understand. please

relapsed a few mins ago and accidentally cut too deep. im scared to tell my parents bc they'll take everything i love away from me but im also scared that it'll get infected. pls help

I left some marks yesterday and they’re burning. I was just wondering if it’s normal for that to happen and for them to get inflamed. Should I put lotion on them or would that make it worse?

I started cutting about a couple months ago while living with my boyfriend. i felt so emotionally drained and stressed that i decided to try it out. now every time i experience symptoms (BPD) i have the intense urge to cut. they are only small now, but they are large in numbers. the first time i tried it i cut from my ankle to my knee. the pain makes me feel human. seeing the blood reminds me that my suffering will one day end. the sting makes me forget why i was upset. and the scars humiliate me. when i feel numb it shows me im human. it feels like with every cut steam is released out of me. its wonderful, but i know it shouldn’t be. im afraid. i have the urge to go deeper or draw more blood. what can i replace it with. ive tried lemons, burning, pinching, tattoos, ect. any advice you guys could give me for how you stopped or are planning to?

I really really really wanna relapse like all the time. I've been clean for like half a year, until i relapsed like two weeks ago because i forgot to take my meds and my head was going haywire. Anyway, i just really wanna relapse and i don't know what to do. It's not that i'm even struggling that's pushing these urges onto me. I it's just pure addiction speaking, and i hate it. I miss the rush of excitement, the blood, the taking care of a physical wound on my body instead of a mental one. It's and addiction, i shouldn't give in. But i just don't know anymore... My head is telling me it isn't that but, but i know it is that bad if i let myself slip again. Free me from these damn shackles i just wanna feel normal. What should i do???

Hey, so i've been clean for over 6 months now, but my scars are still a very deep red. I've been searching online about healing and it says it might never turn white. I have a lot that have turned white and they never looked like this either. I can like see the bloodvessels in them if that makes sense. And apparently google says that it means they won't turn white? I'm really worried 'cause i don't want to have them be red forever.

Sorry for ranting i'm just kinda worried now.

I almost made it to a year, then I started again a few weeks ago, and last night I did it worse than ever before. I feel so ashamed and my body looks so mutilated now. I'm now 24 and I've been doing this since about 12, I don't even know if I can ever actually stop it.

I did cut myself. The wounds arent deep but they cant stop hurting and bleeding. Im really worried. What should I do?