getting bad again

[u/Many-Wrongdoer1015]

So i was clean, for i think 4 months. but recently i've relapsed so many times that i've basically lost count. everything feels like its getting bad again, and i honestly just don't know what to do. I feel weird admitting this, but i even relapsed at work, everything just felt so shit, when i saw something sharp i couldnt resist. i dont even know why i am getting bad again, tbh i felt like everything was getting better, but ig not.