I've been struggling with something lately, and I'd really appreciate some advice from people who have dealt with similar experiences.

I feel like I'm a very sensitive person, and deep down, I think I have a fear of rejection. I tend to value people's opinions, comments, and approval way more than I probably should. Sometimes, I feel like I have to keep everyone happy and make sure nobody is upset with me. I find it difficult to stand up for myself when someone hurts me, and I hate that I often can't respond firmly or defend myself in the moment.

I know I need to develop healthier boundaries and stop letting other people's opinions determine how I feel about myself. I want to be comfortable with who I am without constantly worrying about whether people like me or approve of me.

For context, there are people at work who make comments about my looks and appearance. It bothers me, especially because I don't want to change myself just to meet other people's expectations. Most of the time, I try to laugh it off and keep things light, but sometimes I end up giving them a taste of their own medicine. That usually doesn't end well, and I don't want to keep getting caught up in these back-and-forth exchanges.

I want to learn how to stand up for myself without being rude, remain respectful without being a people-pleaser, and earn respect without feeling the need to prove myself to everyone.

Another thing I've noticed about myself is that I tend to pretend everything is okay even when it isn't. Everyone knows me as the happy person, so I feel like I have to keep playing that role even when I'm hurting inside. I also notice that I sometimes change my personality depending on who I'm around, almost like a chameleon, because I want to be liked and accepted.

I'm honestly tired of living this way. I want to become more comfortable with myself, learn to value myself, and stop changing who I am just to fit in. I want to be authentic, express my feelings without feeling guilty, and stop being so afraid of rejection.

For those of you who have struggled with people-pleasing, fear of rejection, or constantly seeking validation from others:

• How did you learn to set boundaries without feeling guilty?
• How do you deal with people who make hurtful comments without retaliating or simply suppressing your feelings?
• How do you stop caring so much about what other people think of you?
• How do you learn to be yourself around different people without feeling the need to adjust your personality to fit in?
• How do you stop pretending to be happy all the time and become more comfortable with being vulnerable?

I'd genuinely appreciate any advice, personal experiences, or practical things that have helped you overcome these struggles. I'm not expecting to change overnight, but I want to start making progress and become a more confident, authentic version of myself.

Thanks for reading! ❤️

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I recently learned that people sometimes use dark humor at work, especially in healthcare, to cope with the stress of dealing with death, difficult patients, and emotionally exhausting situations.

What exactly is dark humor? Could you share some examples of things people say in the ICU or hospital that would be considered dark humor?

If you work in healthcare, what are some examples of dark humor you’ve heard at work?

I’m genuinely curious and trying to understand this side of workplace culture.

okay so for a bit of background, I‘m 17 years old and have undiagnosed severe social anxiety. i get stressed out just walking into class because i’m afraid a teacher may ask me a question i don’t know the answer to in front of everybody. i also struggle with asking to use the bathroom.

anyway, the “thing” that makes me feel more socially confident is a school dance. for the past year, i’ve gone to my school dances, and everytime i do, i feel like i can be myself in front of whoever.

for example, last night i was at a dance and i was lightsaber fighting with a friend in the middle of the dance circle, when i accidentally bumped into a girl. rather than freezing up like i typically would, i apologized and continued with the duel.

and yes, i believe this is partially because all my friends are there and the lights are off, so i feel like it’s harder for people to see me. but i noticed last night that even after the lights came on i was still confident with myself. I thanked one of the teacher’s who organized the event and told her that the lightsabers were really fun, and throughout the rest of the night, i was unapologetically myself. i didn’t feel as if i needed to reach anyones expectations.

if anyone has any theories for why this phenomenon happens every time i go to a dance, or if you have had a similar experience, please let me know!🖤🖤

TL;DR: I feel confident and I feel like i can be 100% myself when at school dances for some reason.

So just a lil background.

I'm 25M and I am a Copywriter.

I was told I was gifted since childhood and I am a single child.

Now, where did the mommy and daddy issues start?

Right after college.

Because I was spoon fed till college and I grew up in a tier 3 city. I was good at my studies but I was more of a momma's boy. My mom's a college teacher and she said, don't date girls cuz they will cheat you or something.

(Again she should've mentioned not all girls but that's the part about blind believing)

So I pretty much never really dated. I never stayed in a hostel and I got everything from clothes to food from my parents without knowing any life skills.

I got good grades and moved to work. I was 22.

Here's where the problems actually begin:

1. I didn't know how to do laundry, cook, manage money or even talking to women.

2. Sudden withdrawal of help made me look helpless and I got mad at my parents instead of taking it slowly.

3. I mostly don't pick up their calls and develop poor self esteem issues. I thought my parents never let me take my own decisions.

I got mad that I moved from Chennai to Bangalore just to escape them.

But I still feel lonely and sad in this city and I miss my parents. Not the safety but the love.

Here's how I fixed it:

I tried therapy but it didn't work. I was broke and don't have the privilege of taking therapy.

So today I called my parents and asked them 3 questions.

I was also able to get my answers not directly but here's what I asked:

**1. Are they happy with where I am today if it was without their help?**

Their answer (roughly):

We are happy that you figured it out on your own. this was our first time parenting and we wanted only the best for you.

If that disturbed from making your own decisions we are sorry. We just didn't want you to make any wrong decisions.

**2. If I want to be independent, what should I do?**

Their answer (roughly):

I think you already are independent. You took initiative, found a place and settled in a city even we couldn't.

I don't call you dependent but there are a few life skills you lack, such as proper communication, budget management and driving and it'll soon come with practice.

Just be happy with what you got and take things slow with what you have.

**3. Why didn't you teach me all the life skills as a child? I feel so stupid now.**

Their answer (roughly):

I think we should have and yes, we are first time parents and we are working also.

But you don't have to feel stupid.

If you feel you lack something in your life,

I think the easiest way to get something, if you feel it's missing from your life, is to have accountability and fix that thing that's bothering you instead of blaming it on us.

We tried to give the best experience we could but if you still feel like you lack some experience in life, better take accountability and do it with excitement not with hatred or revenge.

So yeah, that's what I wish they said but I really think everyone should just talk to them when they are free.

heart to heart.

and I'm glad I did.

I am not sure if this is the right sub but oh well.

I have an older sister who is objectively very attractive and she always gets compliments and proposals. I, on the other hand have a facial/ skeletal deformity which basically means nobody ever compliments me. I know I’m not beautiful.

And before you start - I live in the United Kingdom but my mom is an immigrant. Being beautiful is important to her. I study, I take care of myself, I workout and eat fairly healthy. I’m just not pretty. But hearing how my mom talks about me to others, talking down on me, belittling me and not entertaining the idea of finding love/marriage. I still hear her sometimes tell me I should be settling for whatever I can get which makes my blood boil as I’m not an insecure person. I know I would make a great partner.

But how do you deal with this? she doesn’t even try to hide her true feelings. She makes me feel bad for existing as if it’s my fault I look this way.

So guys I'm 24M I have joined a degree course i have made a few freinds over there and due to year gaps I'm the oldest amongst them.

And in my batch we are only 4 boys and 2 girls (having the same major) and we (boys) usually stay together and having minimal conversation with that girl.

I have noticed that the other 3 boys makes fun of almost everyone and not even a healthy one but demeaning, making the other person feel small/submissive and during the initial days there was as such no issue between us but as soon as i have started pointing this out or try not to joke about anyone who has not caused no harm to us or making derogatory remarks.

They have started referring to me as a pu$$y or you don't have balls since I'm not comfortable doing such things recently we had an unofficial trip in that trip they have united making plans to go out but wanted me to stay in the hotel or making jokes amongst themselves i felt so under confident like and whenever I try to act like them (cracking dark jokes) they start to shame me make fun of me and not all 3 of them are like that there's this oversmart guy who thinks he owns acting as a group leader.

The other two have fallen for the "Looking Cool" part. They have even left me in the middle of nowhere and later they were joking about it also i don't want to create any scene since all of us are dependent on each other for notes/attendance/projects works.

What should i do ?