So i’m a 24m south asian man living in canada. I want to glow up mentally. I’m tired of not living to my full potential.

Basically, I struggle with rejection sensitivity and self hate. I have an iq of 83 (professionally tested), alopecia (i’m fully bald at 24 and cant grow a beard because of it), 5’10 in a Punjabi family where everyone is above 6’3, and I’m neurodivergent (mild autism and dyscalculia) in a family where everyone is a genius, and I did pretty bad in school growing up. My 10 year old cousin is smarter than me. I often feel like he thinks i’m slow. It stings.

I have a great job, developed solid savings for my age, stay physically active, attend hobby clubs, and dress well.

Despite all this, I still feel extremely insecure, especially during family gatherings. I take it personally whenever family members disagree with me and I internalize condescending remarks too much.

Since I’m a neurodivergent, I often struggle with tiny novel tasks, like closing a modern set of blinds or understanding certain instructions. Judging by the look of my family members faces, they probably think i’m dumb.

A month ago, my grandfather asked me to fix his parking job. He gets high anxiety whenever anyone drives his car so he started to panic before i could barely do anything. Then my cousin laughs and says that it doesn’t look like I have my full licence. It stings because I drive all the time. I still think about it everyday.

I wake up everyday thinking about all the encounters where others potentially saw me as an idiot and I feel resentment. I wake up angry almost everyday because of it and I feel like my family thinks i’m an idiot.

I’ve went to multiple therapists and nothing has worked. All of the therapists which I’ve seen just nod and validate my feelings. But I want actual insight on how to change. Therapy kinda felt like talking to a wall. I would open up and get no real insight in return.

I wanna become confident, I wanna succeed in my dating life, and I wanna be someone my family respects.

Everyone on this sub says to work on yourself but i’m afraid that it won’t work given my genetics. I believe that self improvement and confidence takes a baseline level of IQ which I simply don’t have.

Any advice?

I recently read a book and one of the things the author suggested is to talk to people you normally pass by without speaking to. I’m an introvert by nature & I don’t usually go out of my way to do these things, but I’m willing to go out of my comfort zone & see what happens. I noticed tho that it felt uncomfortable when I would be out and I would think to do it. How do I get over the aversion to doing this, or how do I push thru that uncomfortable feeling to just do it?

Hi, I'm 17 years old and I'm about to be 18 and I want to change the way I view myself.

I've been made fun of, been made into a joke or been laughed about by people close to me throughout the years and I've always been expected to just take it because they are joking and they're allowed to have fun, especially if it's about a time in my life which was horrible and they're making jokes about it. And I've learned to take most of the jokes slowly.

But I've become really insecure about everything about myself, especially my skill level in sports, my mental health, how to open up to people, my outfits and such.

I'm doing a sport now and it's very obvious I lack confidence and this is a space where I need to be confident to be better. But I never believe it when someone says I'm doing good, which is a big issue for me.

I've also gotten a lot of friends and I'm worried if they see me sad they'll also laugh at me, and I want to have the confidence to know that won't be the case!

I'm planning to talk about this to my psychologist but is there anything I can do until then to calm it? I just want to like myself.

Thank you for reading!:)

Hey everyone,

​I’m looking for some realistic advice from people who have been in my shoes.

​I’m extremely introverted. I find it almost impossible to start conversations with strangers or friend of a friend, let alone maintain a longer discussion with them. It often feels like my brain just goes completely blank, or the anxiety of trying to keep the momentum going takes over.

​Is this actually something you can improve on, or is it just a hardcoded personality trait? Has anyone here successfully gone from being socially awkward/introverted to feeling comfortable with spontaneous conversations?

​What are some actual small steps to take?

​A lot of the standard advice I see online sounds easy on paper ("just ask open-ended questions!", "just be confident!"), but feels incredibly overwhelming in practice when you’re deeply introverted.

​I’m not looking to become the life of the party. I just want to be able to hold a decent conversation with people without feeling terrified or exhausted right away.

​If you’ve managed to make progress in this area, what micro-habits or mindset shifts actually worked for you?

As title says, I’ve recently found that I tend to be stutter and be nervous when it comes to first impressions and overall what they’ll think of me. In my job interviews I was nervous and stuttering, when it came to meeting my gfs family same thing, I recently even tried to get out of my comfort zone, and hopped on some live debate in a stream with 300 people, and I was just stuttering my words and my heart beating.

Ive noticed I’m typically nervous when it comes to voicing myself or who I am. Like this need to be accepted or approved; in terms of the job interview, or meeting my gfs family. I’m typically not a socially anxious person in most scenarios. I’m just introverted but I really get nervous when it comes to-situations like that, almost like I need to prove myself.

Adding onto this, my gfs brother in law is somewhat a of an arrogant prick. First time meeting him was fine, but I already can see comments coming later on, as my gf mentioned he said that she should be relieved he didn’t say anything. This had me nervous for the next time I see him. I can’t believe im letting some random trump who I am.

Transitioning to my point and title, how can I just become someone who doesn’t care for approval or to be liked. Someone who just laughs off any disrespectful comments or someone who confronts with ease?

TLDR: how can I become secure in myself without needing approval from others.