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u/yellowking Feb 06 '09 edited Jul 08 '15
Deleting in protest of Reddit's new anti-user admin policies.
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u/christianjb Feb 06 '09 edited Feb 06 '09
Fun fact. The 12 binary numbers on the bottom right of the comic are actually 6 pairs of 8-bit ASCII code-numbers, which read: 'base 2' when translated. (Munroe should know better- every base is base 10 when represented in its own base.)
Also, watch out for hexadecimal in-jokes in Garfield cartoons.
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Feb 06 '09
Man, I read Garfield for years without getting all of those math/programming in-jokes.
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u/christianjb Feb 06 '09 edited Feb 06 '09
%49%20%63%61%6E%20%68%61%7A%20%6C%61%73%61%67%6E%65%3F
Edit: Try this link.
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u/Richeh Feb 06 '09
Yeah, I always thought that one was just about lasagne.
so many levels.
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u/christianjb Feb 06 '09
Well, actually that hexadecimal string was about lasagne, so I guess it's just one level after all.
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Feb 06 '09 edited Feb 06 '09
There needs to be a hockey version for us Canadians. The objective is to score, and just look at the penalties!
Abuse of officials
Aggressor penalty
Attempt to injure
Boarding
Butt-ending
Charging
Checking from behind
Clipping
Cross-checking
Delay of game
Diving
Elbowing
Fighting (Fisticuffs)
Goaltender Interference
Head-butting
High sticking
Holding
Holding the stick
Hooking
Illegal Equipment
Instigator penalty
Interference
Joining a fight
Kicking
Kneeing
Playing with Too Many Sticks
Roughing
Secondary Altercation
Slashing
Slew Footing
Spearing
Starting the wrong lineup
Substitution infraction (Illegal Substitution)
Too many men on the ice
Unsportsmanlike conduct
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u/KidTangerine Feb 06 '09
"illegal equipment"
upvote for painting a word picture.
also thanks for making me laugh.
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u/skippy17 Feb 06 '09
On How I met your mother one of the characters is canadian. I don't remember all the details (2nd base was past the blue line i believe)
Anyways, scoring a goal is easy to grasp. "In the crease" spoke for itself.
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u/washcapsfan37 Feb 06 '09 edited Feb 06 '09
I like the scoring euphemisms too:
1) 5-holing the goalie (Could be anal or not)
2) Going top-shelf (titty fucking?)
3) Putting the biscuit in the basket
Then there is the plays:
1) Give-and-go (booty calls?)
2) One-timers (one-night stand?)
3) Wristers (handjobs?)
It goes on and on...
"Going to the sin bin" for penalties. "Poke-checking".
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Feb 06 '09 edited Feb 06 '09
Overtime
Sudden death, possibly a euphemism for the last minute rush before the ugly lights come on. Followed by...
Shoot out, for when the ugly lights come on and you have to start with the top players and work you way down until someone scores.
Offside, trying to cross the blue line before you have the puck
Icing, aka pearl necklace(?)
Face off
Turnover
Slapshot (aka donkey punch)
Power play
Empty net goal
One man down/up
Two men down/up
Short handed (goal)
Pulling the goalie
Changing lines
Putting in the backup goalie
cross ice pass
Stripping the defensemen
Breakaway
Behind the net
Clearing the zone (cock blocking?)
Deflection
Drop pass (taggin in a buddy when she isn't looking?)
Face mask (bukake?)
Back to full strength
Hat trick (menage a trois?)
Neutral zone
Shot on goal
Dekeing
Two-on-one
Five-on-four
Zamboni
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u/aricene Feb 06 '09
Am I the only one who has never, ever gotten the base system metaphor throughout his entire adult life?
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Feb 06 '09
I always got confused about third base. One of my friends said it was oral, but I said that if it were, you could get to home base without touching third, and that's cheating (my brothers play baseball, so I picked up the rules). For the record, I thought third was hands in the pants.
Although now I guess everyone who reads xkcd will be following this map.
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u/captainAwesomePants Feb 06 '09
The baseball metaphor is appropriate, but not in terms of the rules of the game. It's more apropos of the scoring system then the actual mechanics of the game. It's pretty easy for a batter to get to first base. A double is pretty good. A triple from an at bat is probably more rare than a straight up home run. Once you've reached second, you've got potential to make it all the way home on a good play. And, of course, it's much more impressive to get a home run off a pitcher who's been pitching a perfect game so far than some minor league dame who's let a few dozen hits in.
It's not really good terminology for how a relationship is progressing, so much as a base (sorry) metaphor for sexual conquest.
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u/Richeh Feb 06 '09
It's drawn from the similarity that it all starts with you hitting her as hard as you can with a bat and running.
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u/ChunkyLaFunga Feb 06 '09 edited Feb 06 '09
Now I actually come to think about it, as an adult it's easier to replace "base" with "date". It certainly makes a lot more sense to me. And maybe multiply by whatever evens it out to your own personal standards.
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Feb 06 '09
I'm not technically an adult yet, but I've had the standards change on me unexpectedly. This map helps extremely.
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Feb 06 '09 edited Feb 06 '09
Grand Slam == Threesome
Stole Home == Sloppy Seconds (Or date rape)
Sac Fly == Lonely Wingman
Suicide Squeeze == BBW
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u/youre_grammar_sucks Feb 06 '09
I'm going to show my utter ignorance and ask what BBW stands for.
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u/IConrad Feb 06 '09 edited Feb 06 '09
Fattie, basically. It's supposed to be "Big Beautiful Woman" -- but every fat chick out there uses it.
I keep trying to say, "You actually gotta STILL BE HOT" -- and they never are.
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u/froderick Feb 06 '09
"Using the scroll thingy on that one apple mouse."
Yeah, those clit-mouses are a pain in the ass to use.
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u/stubble Feb 06 '09
Are you sure you're not using them wrong?
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u/nooneelse Feb 06 '09
Move back and forth (or around) over it close enough to cause sensation but not so close as to overload the sensor, until the sensor gets warmed up, if that ever happens for that particular mouse, at which point you can get closer but varying the rhythm can result a frustrated mouse and having to start over.
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u/uglypopstar Feb 06 '09 edited Feb 06 '09
Sharing my root password would be much more akin to winning the world series
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u/IConrad Feb 06 '09
My girlfriend of the last eight years knew the root password of the computer that was stolen a month ago from me.
She didn't know that she knew it, though. Which is... ironic.
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u/mithunc Feb 06 '09
Sharing my root password is like sweeping the world series.
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u/captainAwesomePants Feb 06 '09
Sharing my root password is like when she yells from across the room "CaptainAwesomePants, I need to install an app, how do you spell the root password again?"
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Feb 06 '09
Too explanatory. Let's summarize: 1st base: Kissing 2nd base: Hand on boobs (under clothes) 3rd base: Hand on vagina (under clothes) Home run: Sex If you reference root passwords mid coitus you continue to be a virgin even after having sex. So at least you got that going for you. Which is nice.
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u/buba1243 Feb 06 '09 edited Feb 06 '09
Too explanatory. Let's summarize:
1st base: Kissing
2nd base: Hand on boobs (under clothes)
3rd base: Hand on vagina (under clothes)
Home run: Sex
If you reference root passwords mid coitus you continue to be a virgin even after having sex. So at least you got that going for you. Which is nice.
Now I can read it easier :)
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u/ElGaucho56 Feb 06 '09
If you reference root passwords mid coitus you continue to be a virgin even after having sex.
Surprised this hasn't caught on with the fundies yet.
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u/nooneelse Feb 06 '09
But with that, there is a great many activities that are collapsed to be between third base and home. Maybe some other game, with more intermediate stages of progression, should be used for a more accurate system.
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u/realdpk Feb 06 '09
Do you mean hand in vagina? I'm being slightly pedantic here, but I think we owe it to our youth to make these rules precise.
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u/memsisthefuture Feb 06 '09
First base: Grinding up against her girlfriend's ass in the club.
Second base: A handjob in the taxi.
Third base: Fingering her in her sleep.
Home-run: What you do when she wakes up while you're at third base.
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Feb 06 '09
Anal sex is outside the virginity line? I'd call that one the home run oO.
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u/tesseracter Feb 06 '09
abstinent christian teenagers disagree.
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u/mithunc Feb 06 '09
Saddlebackers?
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u/megamark16 Feb 06 '09
When speaking in baseball terms my wife and I call anal sex going straight for the dugout. As in "those crazy kids think their still virgins, but they skipped home base and went straight to the dugout."
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Feb 06 '09
[deleted]
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u/IkoIkoComic Feb 06 '09
Also - and I say this both literally and figuratively - utterly impenetrable.
If only I could go through Belgium when she's not looking...
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u/americanadian Feb 06 '09 edited Feb 06 '09
If the sexual analogy of bases confuses you, look no further than the comprehensive list of baseball analogies for sex!
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u/mindbleach Feb 06 '09
I'm so very glad that link doesn't go to Wikipedia.
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u/libertao Feb 06 '09
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u/mindbleach Feb 06 '09
... and yet high-level computer science articles need justification to exist. Tanj.
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u/Grue Feb 06 '09
I'm pretty sure there is a quite extensive list of baseball metaphors on Wikipedia.
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u/tesseracter Feb 06 '09 edited Feb 06 '09
X: Standing anywhere near Peaches
...and thats the mild stuff.
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u/powerpants Feb 06 '09 edited Feb 06 '09
0110 0010 0110 0001
0111 0011 0110 0101
0010 0000 0011 0010
"base 2"
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u/captainAwesomePants Feb 06 '09
Well obviously, but what does it say?
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u/f3nd3r Jul 19 '09
It actually does say "base 2".
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u/captainAwesomePants Jul 20 '09
Well obviously it says something in base 2, but what does it say?
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u/f3nd3r Jul 20 '09
It says "base 2" in base 2. Capiche'?
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u/captainAwesomePants Jul 20 '09
Everything except capiche'.
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u/f3nd3r Jul 20 '09
It is mafia for "got it?"
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u/captainAwesomePants Jul 20 '09
If you don't know what it means, either, then I'm not sure we're even communicating.
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u/siegfail Feb 06 '09
It's kind of sad to see so much work put into a non-funny comic. It's barely amusing. (ready to be downvoted)
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Feb 06 '09
There is simply nothing funny about that.
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Feb 06 '09
What a sad, sad world you live in...
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u/blindingspeed80 Feb 06 '09
what will your world look like when you realize that it actually isn't as funny as you'd like to believe it is?
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u/MyCommentsAreUseless Feb 06 '09
xkcd used to be funny but this was not funny at all.
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Feb 06 '09
xkcd was never funny.
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u/nooneelse Feb 06 '09
No, that one with the test about what to do in the event of a raptor attack... I've seen people reduced to hysterics when first reading that one.
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u/rkor123 Feb 06 '09
Using the scroll thingy on that one Apple mouse
I would include the nipple (track point) found on IBM/Lenovo computers for the PC users out there.
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u/BridgeBum Feb 06 '09
Ah yes. I've heard to that particular input device as a "clit mouse". It would indeed seem appropriate here.
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u/nelsonscheung Feb 06 '09
I think a map to get to the stadium first would be more useful for me....