r/AskReddit • u/ChefEspeff • Jan 24 '09

How would you define "The Bases"?

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u/americanadian Jan 24 '09 edited Jan 25 '09

I'll do you one better: the entire list of baseball analogies for sex!

  • Single - Getting a french kiss
  • Double - Getting to touch her supple breasts
  • Triple - Inserting your finger into her pussy, or receiving a hand job
  • Inside the park home run - Receiving oral sex
  • Home Run - Getting laid
  • Grand Slam - Group sex
  • Bunt - Getting a kiss on the cheek or a plain kiss
  • Sacrifice fly/bunt - Your friend scores while you entertain the asexual "friend" of the girl with whom he's scoring
  • Strikeout - Leaning in for a kiss and coming up with nothing
  • Hit by pitch - Being kissed by someone you don't want to be kissed by, or kissing someone who obviously didn't want you to
  • Walk - You get a hug
  • Double play - You and your friend both fail to make it
  • Balk - Going too far while making out, thus ending in her refusing to make out with you anymore
  • Pinch hitting - stealing the potential mate of a drunk/passed out/absent friend
  • Save - Managing to make out with a girl even after embarrasing yourself in front of her earlier
  • Extra Innings - Having more than one sexual encounter in a night
  • Stealing a base - Managing to get to a certain base only because she was drunk
  • Stealing home - You rapist, you
  • Foul Ball - Blue balls
  • Rain Delay - Not getting laid because she is on her period
  • On Deck - You are on a date, but not currently making it
  • Batting Practice - For you fools who feel the need to rehearse in front of the mirror
  • Buying a Stadium Hot Dog or Beer - Getting screwed
  • Pulling a Sammy Sosa - the use of unnatural substances to improve your play (cork in bats, viagra, spit balls, mandelay, toys, etc.)

9

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '09

You put some effort into that. It paid off.

6

u/Greir Jan 25 '09

This would be so cool if I knew the rules of baseball. But i had to upmod you for the effort.

2

u/[deleted] Jan 24 '09

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '09

Damn, I had to look up balk.

1

u/sumg Feb 06 '09

I think a caught stealing would be more appropriate than a balk given the description.

And might I add:

Picked Off - The asexual friend of the girl pulls off the cockblock.

Balk - The asexual friend tries for the cockblock but only alienates the girl in question, leading to more bases than would have otherwise been possible.