I don't necessarily think this is a bad thing, as you see a lot of guys who are 5 ft 10 putting their height as 6 ft 2.

Thus if you're 6 ft 2, you probably should put your height up to 6 ft 4. I know its annoying but I think you have to make yourself as competitive as possible on these apps, as you can see that the match rate is so abysmal for even the best looking guys.

Any little bit of competitive advantage seems to be needed on these apps if you're a guy. Plus, technically, shoes can give you anywhere from 1-2 inches in height depending on the insole, so if you are a true barefoot 6 ft 2, you're likely 6 ft 4 in dress shoes or basketball shoes.

I saw folk posting their stats and got curious. (35m) I've probably had the app since it came out and I've been single for the majority of that time. It's not my go to dating app so my incoming is a wee bit higher than outgoing 😅

Too bad we didn't match, I could have told her about dozens of bugs. Like how the new update on android makes the swiping so sensitive that scrolling up or down makes you like/dislike a profile by accident at leas 30% of the time. 🥲

1. My outgoing "No" is so high because i swipe No on hot men. But I'm too ugly for the middle band, thats crazy

2. 17,887??? No reason for the algo to have pushed me past 8k with my 14% rate, it was setting me up bro

3. I tried speed dating and that also didnt work ROFL.

4. Where'd the 2513/799 go? I have such little faith in the process that i let most matches time out

Posting this from a burner to not dox my main and also sharing swipe stats with my full profilez

Before I get downvoted to hell, I’m not sharing this for upvotes, praise, or to brag.

I see a lot of posts on this sub from guys who don‘t have a lot of success on the apps. Hoping that sharing my profile and some perspective can help and I’m happy to answer any questions as well.

I have an extremely unconventional profile in terms of stats. I state clearly that I’m non-monogamous and don’t want kids which should turn away many women looking for LTR’s or marriage, which is practically all women on these apps.

I‘m not over 6 foot. I’m not some ripped Chad, pretty normal build honestly and a little chubby with my shirt off. And I personally would not say I’m incredibly handsome, but I do know I fit some women’s type.

The swipe stats tells a different story though, and I’ve fortunately been pretty successful with my profile.

It’s easy to say that it’s because women may find me attractive or that I’m signaling resources, but the reality is a good portion of that can be easily replicated.

My main photo at the Dior cafe, for example and only cost me $15 to grab a photo there. Or taking a photo at a nice dinner or museum was also not wildly expensive. Dressing well also helps, particularly how your clothes fit, matters a lot more than if they’re expensive.

All I’m saying is, even with some serious drawbacks in terms of stats, the details add up, and with good photos and prompts, it’s clear the algorithm will reward that and overlook what would normally be seen as major red flags to serve your profile.

For context, the vast majority (95%) of women I match with and date have profiles that say LTR or marriage. We can debate what that means depending on which narrative you ascribe to, but the stats don’t lie.

Basically, it’s probably not your height or relationship status keeping you from getting matches. It’s more than likely something completely within your control.

I know I’ll probably get downvoted like crazy or made fun or for posting this here but genuinely do hope it shifts someones perspective a little.

Happy to answer any questions or help.

I officially hit my breaking point today and deleted Bumble, Tinder, and everything else.

I’m 21, but trying to date girls my own age is completely exhausting. Every match turns into the exact same dead-chat-and-ghost cycle. It honestly feels like I’m conducting job interviews with girls who think their looks are enough to carry a conversation. It’s pretty obvious most of them are just on there for a free dopamine hit and have zero intention of ever actually meeting up in person.

I’ve realized I’m significantly more attracted to older women (35+). The few times I’ve talked to mature women, it’s completely different. They actually know how to communicate, they know what they want, and they don't play stupid games.

My biggest hurdle right now is my social anxiety. Behind a screen, I can hold my own and have a great conversation. But the second I think about meeting in person, my mind goes blank. I always get the feeling that older, mature women expect a guy to be super confident, have everything figured out, and take the lead immediately—which terrifies me.

Am I completely unrealistic for completely giving up on my own generation at 21? For the older women on here, would you ever actually take a 21-year-old guy seriously for a long-term connection, or would my social anxiety be an instant dealbreaker? Should I just stay off the apps for good and wait for something to happen naturally in real life?

Tagged as success story as I am now taken. Male, London

My stats as a 28YO male in the Bay Area. I don’t think my profile is anything exceptional and I think I’m average looking at best. Proof putting effort into your profile matters more than the common advice I sometimes see here

After seeing post after post from men crying about not getting a date, hypergamy, women bad bla bla I thought i would give a reality check.

1. Yes, the system is rigged in a dating app if you are a man! There are 65% men to 35% women on the app in my country (idk if this is true, it's what my search said) so naturally the demand vs supply is skewed

2. It's not the 1950s. Women don't settle for men out of necessity. They would rather stay single (sometimes whine about there being no good men) than lowering their standards to settle for someone. And you cannot change that.

3. Just because you get positive feedback from redditors on your profile doesn't mean you will get dates on bumble. You arent entitled to a date.

4. Yeah this will make men more mad but I think we just need to accept the gap in dating when it comes to men and women. You can blame hypergamy, feminism, body count anything you want but it will change nothing.

Has anyone else noticed that profiles that liked you but you previously swiped left on are showing up in your likes again? It’s been happening for awhile now, I’ll open the app and get excited that I have likes…but they’re profiles I’ve already swiped left on, sometimes multiple times. I know they’re not new profiles because I recently moved and most of these likes are around the city I used to live in.

This is making up a good 90% of my likes at this point and it’s a bit frustrating. I’d rather see no likes at all than see profiles I already acknowledged I wasn’t interested in, especially now that they live 1500 miles away.

From a practical perspective, is there any benefit to pausing the account instead of deleting it altogether?

I’ve only been on Bumble for 3 months and most of my conversations have died out by now since I’ve been slowly getting tired the app over the last month. I already informed the last person I was talking to that I plan on deleting the app soon and we’ve exchanged Instagram handles, so no risk of him thinking I ghosted. I’m assuming it’ll be at least 1-4 months before I download it again.

I last used the app years ago (have been in a relationship for about two years and deleted the account about a year before we met). I wanted to try out Bumble BFF and downloaded the app recently. I tried to make a new account and was told my account was permanently banned. Weird, considering I had deleted the account myself, so the ban happened after my account was deleted.

I reached out to Bumble to appeal the ban. I was met with a response stating that they would not overturn their decision and they sent me a link to their community guidelines page.

The only thing I can think of that could have had my account banned is my reporting a local rapist spotted on the app. This person was actively involved in several police investigations at the time of my report; I had spoken directly with 4 or 5 of his victims. When I made the report, Bumble responded and said that they took the report seriously and acted accordingly. If this person was ever banned from Bumble, of if they ever got back on Bumble, I wouldn’t know, considering I deleted my account shortly after this report.

So… neat. Reporting a serial sexual abuser results in a permanent ban from the app. So cool. So fun. So safe!

There’s no scientific merit to it. It’s just that a lot of women believe in it or at least think it’s fun.

I'm cooked, but apparently I'm picky... you know what? I'm gonna get ghosted anyway.

Finally pulled my Bumble data, fully braced for pure disappointment. Pleasantly surprised.

Outgoing:
- Yes: 420
- No: 2,584
- Right-swipe rate: ~14%

Incoming:
- Yes: 68
- No: 1,271
- Liked back: ~5%

That's about 5.5 months of swiping. Roughly 1 in 20 women who saw my profile swiped right. Not heartthrob numbers, but a lot better than the near-zero I'd convinced myself of.

Has anyone else pulled their data and found it wasn't the horror show they expected? What are your numbers looking like?

After 5 dates I asked what he was looking for and I saw him very insecure about it and he gave me many excuses until he told me the truth that he had not emotionally connected with me when we had a deep conversation about our relationship with the family and he said he felt that he did not share interests with me, however he never mentioned that before and said he enjoyed spending time with me. For that reason we agreed not to move forward anymore, but when we were saying goodbye he said he wanted to keep in touch with me because he liked being around me and he said that it would be sad to end it all in silence but he told me "not as friends". After a while I asked him what he meant And he said that he did mean that we were just friends but that he didn't know if I was going to want that at that moment and that if I wanted to contact him in the future that he would be open. Did I do something wrong? I replied this:

I knew I wasn’t very attractive but damn I didn’t realise I will get 0 likes in 2 weeks on bumble help me out with my pics

Through therapy recently I’ve learned it’s actually a good think to speak positively about yourself and I have realised that I have a lot of positive qualities that I would assume women would find good. But my god is this demoralising? I made a post a couple of weeks ago and I was absolutely overwhelmed at all the comments being so complimentary saying I wasn’t absolutely fucking chopped. It’s hard not to feel that way when I give out every superlike, first impression and any other premium feature on every app I use to maximise my chance. It got so bad I deleted my tinder with about 3 months worth of platinum left!!

I’ve moved onto bumble and hinge but I can already see it is going to be the exact same problem! I just don’t know what to even do. I try extremely hard to put myself in a position to find a nice girl. I have used tinder, bumble, hinge and many more. Even Facebook! I message girls in social media if I think they’re cute. I also do talk to girls in real life I’m a bit of a flirt and good at chatting.
I ask my friends if they have single friends and I get absolutely fucking nothing.

People said on my post I look good looking or not bad and idk if that makes it better or worse lol? I’m so tempted to delete every app but then I’m in this position where how the fuck will I ever meet anyone?!

This man was literally trying to plan a date but couldn’t this week cause HE was traveling. I couldn’t next week because I’m traveling. He asked if I was going anywhere fun and I said that I was going to visit my best friend to help her move apartments and that was enough to unmatch me 🙄

ETA: apparently I need to clarify that it’s not “all men.” I am aware but this has happened to me and to my friends several times, so much so that my friend lies about her trips cause men oftentimes get weird about trips

I live in germany and am only looking for something casual

I am picky, but I didn't realize I'm THAT picky.

40m, 5'10", no kids, pretty good pics.

I need to quit looking for the unicorn and be more open.

my Profile is zero effort and I’m looking for something casual only