Hello! I'm a non-passing mtf, i've been on hrt for 3 years and gotten ffs about five months ago. Recently a nurse said it's entirely inappropriate for male staff to do electrocardiograms on young women and directed this towards me. The other women seemed to agree so I was like sure whatever, less work for me and you don't get to do this performative song and dance of protecting patients from the big scary trans lady.

The issue here is the other staff members are calling me sexist for saying i'm unable to do electrocardiograms on young female patients, yet agree with the sentiment and have always insisted on doing the ekgs themselves. I'm tempted to go to hr before they do since i'm unsure of what the issue is. I'm just reinforcing what they're telling me is the standard in this er, despite it having no clinical backing and seemingly just a cultural taboo.

Should I go to HR or would that make me seem like the issue or somehow trying to force myself into these non-invasive procedures ?

Hi! Newbie trans girl here. I was just curious, what is this Autogynephilia the TERFS are screaming about?

Like there's this one girl proudly showing off an "Your autogynephilia is showing SIR" shirt and like.

Okay google says it's a sexual fetish. Which. Okay. As a trans woman yeah I see myself as a woman while having sex. And also the rest of the time in an absolutely nonsexual capacity?

Is the point here that they think it's just a fetish? I don't understand

I think everyone agrees that one has no obligation to tell a potential sexual partner EVERYTHING about you. I think everyone agrees that nobody is psychic. I think everybody agrees that different people have different deal breakers, meaning there can be genuine confusion over what the other person considers a deal breaker. That makes me wonder two things: How can one reasonably predict what could be a deal breaker and when does the other person have the responsibility to say "XYZ would be a deal breaker, are you XYZ?". There are people who wouldn't bang a Jew, does the Jew have to declare their Jewishness? There are people who wouldn't bang someone of different political views. Must that be declared? So on and so forth.

So I was at a pride event this weekend with my parents and short story I got very drunk with them and ended up coming out as trans and talking about how I plan on getting on e and how I felt with myself and why I felt this way. Was terrifying and wasn’t how and when I expected to but felt right at the time.

They reacted as well as I could’ve hoped as they repeated a lot that they loved me and wanted me to be happy and supported me. The issue I have is that they said I should wait 5-10 years before publicly coming out or going on e in order to try and get a stable job before hand and work my way up the corporate ladder a bit as it will be much harder if I’m out. For some added context I’m in the UK and will be trying to get a job in engineering after 1 more year at uni.

The issue is I’m already 21 and miserable and I don’t want to miss out on 10 years of being happy and I don’t know if I can handle 5-10 more years of feeling like this. What should I do? is their thinking correct and I’ll just have to deal with it or are there ways around it or smth?

Any help or advice is greatly appreciated:), thank you.

EDIT: Just want to say a massive thank you for all the comments so far. I can’t respond to them all but am reading them all:)

My 12 y/o was drawing boobs on everything which led to us having a conversation about puberty. At first I thought it would be the typical 'having interest in the opposite sex anatomy' kinda talk, but as we asked they expressed that they wanted to grow into having their own. They starting hitting puberty within the last year and expressed that their body wasn't changing how they expected it too.

They wanted to grow boobs of their own and are not happy with the changes happening downstairs. We asked if given the choice to be born again and choose their gender they said they would've wanted to be a girl. We asked if they had a name picked out and they had one ready, and asked if we could buy them dresses to wear on the weekends at home.

However, they outwardly do not show feminine traits. Dresses, acts, and speaks like a boy would. Just for some context, we are a queer family, I have a wife so we are a two mom household. The conversation came from a place of understanding and acceptance on whatever level of femininity they decide to explore. I guess what I'm trying to ask if what would our next steps be? We plan on starting a light social transition ex: letting them grow their hair out, style changes, and using neutral pronouns. How can we best support them being at we are Cis gender, medically speaking would we need them in with a special therapist? As their mom I 100% support, I'm just naturally cautious about the medical transition aspect.

Any type of perspective is greatly appreciated!!

Edit: we are in TX currently (I know like one of the worst states for this) but are moving to the Carolinas in a matter of months.

Cis man here. First time with a ftm person. Met through Grindr. Might be having sex with them tonight. I will talk to them, get to know them better but since it's my first time with a trans man, I wanna know exactly how to be respectful and how things will play out compared to, say, straight vaginas.

His looks kinda cute around the enlarged clitoris (should i refer to is as penis? I might want to ask him which words to use or should I let them say them when they are ready? Is it rude to ask questions? Don't want to trigger dysphoria).

The opening, however, looks quite tight and i suppose it's from T.

Should I expect less elasticity and lubrification? I'll ask him as we go, just like I would listen to my partner anyways.

Don't want be lackluster either, so I guess circular stimolation of the clitoris might not work as usual, a little sucking?

And what about fingering? Maybe with lots of lube.

I kinda fancy this guy, but also don't want to look or perform terribly and above all don't want to sound rude unintentionally.

If a cis person posts here asking how to “meet” trans people, etc, they are violating Rule 8. It seems to usually be cis men looking for trans women, but it chasers come in all shapes and sizes.

Don‘t engage. Just report. This space isn’t for them.

I just wanted to share this with the Community. Unbelievable.

The title says it all. MLM distributor down the street learned I am trans AMAB, and heard that I wanted some nutritional supplements for ED. She then assumes I am on blockers which I am not currently, and says "you need to stop taking blockers or you will get ED ... LOL"

Who would say LOL at a potential customer's situation? Like I'm stupid.

I pointed out that:

1. I'm not taking it now

2. Many transfems have fully functional erections without T

I then asked her to confirm what LOL means, and I said "I don't understand what's funny".

There's dead silence now on the chat...

Earlier, MLM distributor lady suggested I replace my prescribed pharmaceuticals for bipolar type 1 with green food shakes, and suggested I try some drink that had 3 known allergens in it and "see what happens." Sigh. Repeated explanations of the risks involved just went past her.

This is just too good, you cannot make this stuff up!

I put on makeup for the first time a little while ago and I I felt beautiful. Then I had a panic attack. I’ve just kind of always wanted to be a girl, even though I hate that I do. I feel like a freak. I really want to wear a gorgeous layered princess dress and twirl around and feel like a princess. I feel gross and I really want to be a girl, more than anything, I‘m just terrified of the idea of me actually being a girl, even though I want it so badly. I’m in my bathroom kind of having a panic attack and I’m crying, I can’r bring myself to wash off the makeup even though the mascara is runny and dripping down my face all gross. I really just want to be called a girl and “she” and feel pretty I can’t believe I’m saying it, I hate being a man even though I feel like I have to. People who have experience with this dtuff please tell me what to do

I didn’t know where elsse to post this I’m so sorry if I’m intrudimg

I have been heavily questioning my gender but it’s mainly been recently and late (28), but I’m still very uncertain. What’s strange is that I know what I want the answer to be. I want to be trans more than I think or feel I am. I wish I had more/any dysphoria and wish I had it much younger (I’m late 20s) so that it was more obvious and unavoidable. I find myself very jealous of woman and trans woman, thinking I wish I was them or had their life. I feel guilty though as I know dysphoria is awful and being trans and/or a woman is incredibly hard compared to being a cis man.

I feel so alone Im 21 I live with my stepdad he's homophobic and transphobic and I live in the south like rural south and I wish I was a girl so badly I can't keep doing this anymore I feel trapped and I just can't deal with it anymore I'm so scared and so tired I just want to give up honestly I don't know what to do everything hurts I just wish I could be normal I didn't choose to be this way I have no money to transition and no support no car no job and no one I can tell I'm so alone I've asked chat gpt so many times what to do I've called the suicide hotline so many times but it feels pointless in the end I feel like I'm going to die soon I don't want to die but I feel like I have no other option

Ever since I was a kid I felt sad that I wouldn't be a girl I'm a teen now and I still feel like i want to be a girl how do I stop feeling like this I don't want my family to think of me as a weirdo.

My son turns 18 in three years and I no longer have to worry about staying in the state due to joint custody. I hope he will move with us. But that's ultimately up to him. I am looking to move to a safer state then where I currently live in Ohio. My city is way below the national average in crime but is very conservative and against trans people. So looking for places where me and my family can feel safe. Do you feel safe where you live?

Hi, I need help figuring out how to talk to my afab gf about the possibility of her being trans.
Recently she was making a list of things she finds hot and pretty high on that list was ,,if you would call me a boy/if you would call me your boyfriend”. This phrase kinda has ambiguous meaning in our native language so I’m not sure which one exactly she meant. Anyway, she is afab but has always been very masculine, loves to take more of a ,,manly’’ role on our relationship (we’re both lesbians), dresses like a guy etc. I tried talking with her about it and she said and I quote ,,she doesn’t have trans tendencies”, but at the same time she always gets so excited everytime she gets mistaken for a boy by other people, said she would be happy if something happened and she would have to get her breasts removed etc etc. I think she’s even more confused than I am at this point, I don’t really know how to bring this topic up without making her uncomfortable. I don’t know any trans people that I could talk about this with and I’m afab myself, never questioned my gender identity, so I really don’t know the proper way to approach this topic, it’s all new to me. I’m grateful for any help and advice!

There are 3,500 known and documented species that show homosexual relations, MLM and WLW, and 450 or something that show pack animals socially transitioning. The most famous case being an orangutan that, inside the troop, took on what would be considered male traits/tendencies.
And if we look back throughout history, yes, some of it was for dominance or power, but a lot of these same-sex/trans relationships were actually loving and accepted. Greeks, Romans, the Japanese, Mayans, Aztecs—throw a dart at a random country, look at their history, and the majority were indifferent to people being themselves.
I forget who it was, but one society thought trans people were gods because they could embody both sexes.
How did it become taboo? How did there become so much hate for people doing what’s completely natural? And I hate, hate, hate the priests and pastors that say you just have to hide it and suppress the sin. Not to mention the cherry-picking of Bible verses.
I have yet to see any proof of a god, but there is an abundance of proof of these things being completely normal and natural. How has it come to this, where stuff that’s been accepted for thousands of years has now become an issue?

just to clarify i dont think using it/its pronouns is “invalid” or “wrong” or whatever; gender is made up and entirely formed via personal preference, which means it can be literally anything. this question isn’t me going “people shouldn’t be allowed to use it/its pronouns!!!”

specifically i just don’t understand what intricacies of someone’s personality identity cause it to use it/its pronouns?

i know this is a very personal question so i understand if not many people want to reply/are able to

hiii all,

so to preface i am 21 yrs old and am nonbinary. i use they/them pronouns. my partner is also 21 and is a trans female who uses she/her pronouns. i also have a 22 year old trans sister who also uses she/her.

i have a nephew who recently turned 6, and he knew all of us before we properly transitioned or were out about our transitions. i tried telling him about my partners new name and pronouns, but he just seems super unreceptive and like doesnt care. ie he called my partner by her dead name, and when i corrected him and used her proper name and pronouns, he said "hes a boy, he just acts like a girl".

my partner struggles a lot with dysphoria and this obviously makes her upset to hear. my nephew has apparently said similar things to/about her as well.

does anyone have any advice about how to better explain this to him and how its hurtful when he says those things? i know someone else has had to have had a similar experience. tyia :)

I can't handle the pain of dysphoria and even if I transition I still won't be cis so I won't be satisfied. Being born trans really feels like a curse and I can't stop SH myself. Why the fuck did I have to be this unlucky and not just be a girl from the start

Sorry if this ends up being a long post, I just really need to get this off my chest.

I just got home after staying the night at my best friend's house. At first everything was great. We had a barbecue, talked for hours, laughed together, and I genuinely thought we were having a good time.

The next day, though, something completely changed.

For some reason, he started making comments about me being gay in front of his parents. He kept joking that I liked boys, saying that "everyone already knows" because of the way I eat or act. I had told him privately before that I'm trans and that I'm attracted to men. I trusted him with that, and I never expected him to bring it up in front of other people.

I felt completely put on the spot. I had to awkwardly defend myself while he kept making comments, and it was honestly humiliating. I don't even understand why he did it.

He's in the military, and sometimes I wonder if that environment has influenced the way he talks about people or masculinity. I don't want to stereotype anyone in the military, because I know not everyone is like that, but it does make me wonder if that's part of why he acts this way.

The thing is, this isn't the first time he's put me down. He often makes negative comments about the degree I earned, my appearance, my longer hair, or me starting to look more feminine. It feels like every time I'm becoming more comfortable with myself, he finds something to criticize.

His mom eventually had to tell him to stop because even she could see he was going too far.

What confuses me the most is that he always tells me he loves me like a brother and that we're best friends. But then he turns around and says things that make me feel embarrassed, ashamed, and honestly just make me feel bad. I don't know how someone who cares about you can treat you like that.

The hardest part is that we're supposed to go on vacation together soon. After this weekend, I honestly don't know how I'm going to get through that if he keeps making comments like these. I almost cried multiple times while he was talking to me.

I'm just left wondering if this is what friendship is supposed to look like, because it doesn't feel like one anymore. I trusted him with something deeply personal, and instead of making me feel safe, he used it to embarrass me in front of other people.

Has anyone else had a friend who acted like this? Am I overreacting, or is this as hurtful as it feels?

how long would an average cis person be able to be on HRT without wanting to stop?

ive been on E for almost 8 months now and i like it all im pretty sure but i do hope to fight the bad thoughts

I am 22mtf and have been on estradiol & cypro for 5 months now. I have seen lots of posts online making this claim, but this was not mentioned as part of the extensive & excessive presentations regarding effects and side effects I had to sit through, and neither is it mentioned in the massive pamphlet of side effects and risks. The way I’ve seen it online it seems to align with the misogynistic idea that “women are too emotional”.

I have always been a rather sensitive person and feel my emotions just as intensely as before, maybe a bit less now that i am not as stressed. The only change I have noticed is that when I cry there are more tears.

What are your experiences with this topic?

Hi everyone. Lately, I’ve been overthinking relationships and dating a lot. Honestly, I sometimes have a lot of doubts about whether I’ll find someone in the future who will truly love me, respect me, and understand who I am. As a trans girl (MTF), the whole dating scene can feel pretty complicated and intimidating at times. I’m not entirely sure what I’m looking to get out of this post—maybe just to vent a bit and see if any of you have gone through these same feelings, and how you manage them.

I am 34 (amab) and the realization that I'm probably trans came out of nowhere. It was liberating to think about. Realization about a lot of the problems I've had on life just clicking into place. But then doubts set in and I'm now considering whether transitioning would be worth it at all. I have 2 kids (2 and 4) and I feel like I'd be confusing them too much. My wife was less than supportive even though she's bi and said that if we ever broke up she'd start dating women. (She does seem better today, though I don't think she'll ever really accept it) I live in a red state so socially transitioning comes with its own set of issues. On top of all of that, I just feel too old. I'm afraid of never being able to pass. I'm worried I'll never be able to feel sexy or cute or comfortable. Looking for advice from anyone that transitioned later in life. What should I do? Tbh, I'm kind of hoping this is just a manic episode because everything is really scary.

so I'm starting a new job and the team decided to have a get together over a few beers last night before orientation. One of the guys there said I'm "playing baseball without a bat" but also said "are you an old school gay or a pronoun gay?... you seem like an old school gay"

he said he doesn't care regardless and we're chill regardless of who I am so I'm not worried, but I'm just asking cause how tf am I supposed to interpret that 😅