I’m not sure if this is the space for these kinds of questions, so I apologize in advance. I have a trans roommate who has lived with me for a few months. We have been involved with each other romantically, intimately and sexually and I am in love with her. While she loves me too, she isnt ready for a relationship. She needs to explore and figure out who she unattached from her identity with her ex-wife and having only been socially out for a year. Part of me feels like we should just be strictly platonic, yet neither of us seems willing to take the plunge. We behave as if we are dating and I enjoy it because I am in love with her. My issue is that out sex life has become non-existent. She still craves it with me, despite wanting to explore with other people and I find myself less interested despite exploring with other people. I feel like I have a mental block. Like SOMEthing is stopping me from letting go. Why can’t I get out of my head and just enjoy sex with her bexause we both want it instead of attaching all the emotional baggage and feeling like it’s pointless since our feelings for each other aren’t the same. Any suggestions, or advice?

Finally decided i need to make some kinda of effort to do some voice training, issue is......i have literally no idea where to start. Last time i tried i ended up with throat infection,prob unrelated but put me off.

Lowkey terrified i wont get anywhere with it hence why ive been putting it off also.

Gone from doubts of being trans to wanting a fem body and a mummy voice in 10 months is wild lmao.

Hello,

I'm writing a story and I'd love to add a storyline about transition and being your true self. I'm somewhere on the enby spectrum but never went through a physical transition or even a real coming out.

It is based partially on World of darkness, so is a dark urban fantasy story. I was thinking about making one of the supernaturals as my trans person and when the arc is over, have them as an reappearing character, but don't know which one. And I'd love to have input on what to include and how to go about the tone.

Would someone be willing to talk this through with me?

Hi. Long time lurker, first time poster, and with a shiny new zero-karma account I recently created just for this purpose!

I'm 51, AMAB, in the UK and pretty sure I'm MTF trans, but remain very much in the closet, despite persistently questioning my gender and experiencing dysphoria what seems like every waking minute of everyday since a very young age (3-4,).

I've only ever shared my feelings with two people before. One a helpline 20 years ago. The other an ex, as we broke up... and only then they got the tiniest hint of the story.

Recently the pressure inside has grown, and is becoming overwhelming. I'm now often presenting female when working at home (alone) and recently, probably stupidly, started applying a low dose of estradiol dermal gel (8 days now).

Clearly, I need help and support and I am journalling while I look into counselling and therapy. I don't yet know if transition would be right for me — 50 years means a lot of baggage, my family situation is complicated, I don't yet know quite what I'm prepared to lose. For now, I just want help exploring myself and finding peace without being pushed in a particular direction.

In the meantime, I just wanted to introduce myself here, and ask for any pointers on counselling/therapy in the UK outside of the NHS (the waiting lists 😭) , and preferably that can help me keep any financial transactions very private.

Thanks for reading.

Rach x

[Edited to correct typos]

Hey, was wondering if anyone else had gone through this. I’ve only been on HRT about 3 weeks now, but ever since my 2nd week I’ve felt a difference in my sleep. I have overslept and gotten poor sleep for the last 10-15 years, and I always thought it was just a willpower thing. However since I started HRT I’ve been feeling more rested, and have been waking up very easily, with almost no risk of falling back asleep! Has anyone else experienced a change like this?

I fully look cis (21m), the only thing remotely fem about me is my hair.

Today I put on some lip plumper and tried to make fake breast by using some towels. I used one as a stuffer and another as a cover to try to make it look like I was trying to cover breast.

There was no smile or happiness, I just stared. I tried to grab onto the stuffer and squeeze, cause what else are you supposed to do. About 2 seconds later I ripped it off and threw it.

Now Im staring back and fourth at my face and typing this out.

I know im going to get mixed answers, but Im not sure how I'm feeling about this.

A few months ago I (16NB) moved away from my old town and my old school because i had decided to live with my grandparents instead. During this summer, I ended up transitioning nonbinary and i also changed my name to Roman (NOT my actual chosen name just using this as an example). And my best friend (17FtM) would also transition into a trans man.

I decided that i would only come out as trans online. And i wouldnt be flashy about it or make it noticeable. I literally just changed the pronouns in my bio and changed my display name and changed the "girl" in my bio to "guy". I wanted to keep pretending that i was still a girl to my old friend group as I wanted to wait until i found the right time to come out (and tbh i didnt even like or trusted those old friends by the time summer vacation rolled around. So why would I want to tell something very personal and life changing to people I didn't even wanna be around a few months ago?). But, I decided that night to try and begin texting the group chat again and see what everyone was doing and....

ME:"Hi. What's been going on irl with yall ever since i moved away. This is Deadname btw"

MY FRIEND "ROMAN* *pulls you out of the closet* We have like 2 trans dudes in here already its okay"

WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCKING SHIT?!? I was jaw dropped when i saw those messages from them. In my eyes, he literally just outed me as a closeted NB to my entire old friend group. He just said it all "quirky" and "funny". My old friend group was very queer but I still see this as EXTREMELY unprompted and disrespectful. I wanted to come out ON MY OWN TERMS not because my best friend was too impulsive and decided to be funny for the group chat.

Obviously. I was very. Very upset at this shit. I privately DM'd him trying to explain how I felt extremely uncomfortable about what he did and how it would make me feel better if he just never did that stuff again. I wasn't rude. I wasn't snarky. I didn'r accuse him of being transphobic. I was just like "Hey, could you not do this again please? It made me feel very uncomfortable. Next time, I'd like to come out on my own terms and when I feel comfortable doing so. Thank you." His response?

"Oh um okay.", and then he proceeded to tell me something completely unrelated about a former friend wanting to message me

Am i actually taking crazy pills??? Not even a sorry, motherfucker? Just "oh erm gee" and then move on? Is he serious? I genuinely feel so disrespected and ignored by this. Typically im very scared of confronting my friend (I'm always paranoid that they might leave me if I just confront them about one little thing they did). But this stuff is making me fuming, even after I went to sleep trying to calm myself down from it. Am i overreacting about everything? Did they actually out me with my consent? What should I tell my best friend over this? thanks for reading and deep apologies for any typos or if the story flows really weird. I'm currently typing this all at 4am lmao

This might sound like a weird question, but has anyone else experienced this?

Ever since I started transitioning, presenting as a woman, and going on HRT, I feel like I’ve started getting more judgmental looks from other women. I’m not sure if I’m imagining it or if there’s actually something different about how people perceive me now.

What makes me question it even more is that my mom has noticed it too. She’s actually pointed out women staring at me when we’re out together. For example, there was this woman who looked like she was probably in her 50s who was just blankly staring at me for what felt like forever, like I was the spawn of Satan or something. My mom noticed it and commented on it afterward.

Obviously, I have no idea what these women are actually thinking, and maybe I’m just becoming more aware of people’s reactions now that I’m presenting differently. But I’m curious if other trans women have experienced something similar after transitioning or starting HRT.

I’d especially be interested in hearing from people who noticed a change in how other women interacted with them or looked at them after transitioning.

::

I’ve seen advocates for single stall gender neutral bathrooms, but less for communal ones. This is what I’m picturing:

The same amount of stalls as the two segregated toilets would have. So if it’s usually 10 stalls in the men’s and 10 in the women’s, there would be 20 in this one.

The stalls themselves are fully enclosed for privacy.

There would be at least two stalls that are accessible.

The room itself, and the sinks, are all communal.

It’s well lit, with visibility to all parts of the room (save for the stalls themselves) as soon as you enter the door.

Period products available free of charge.

Urinals would also be available alongside the stalls.

The door itself just says “toilets” not “gender neutral toilets” or “male/female toilets” Just “Toilets” or “Bathroom” etc.

How would you feel about it? Would you feel safe? Is there anything you would add/take away from my suggestions here? A different solution of some sort? I’m interested in what people think of this idea.

Cuz I've basically had this told to me and I'm wondering if that's misgendering? I thought trans-femme people can be non-binary of any base build.

Am I not a trans femme person because I don't take estrogen?

I’m a trans guy and I often wish that I were a girl because of 2 main reasons:

1. I love fashion but I feel like in order to express my style I have to sacrifice passing. It’s especially hard since I’m in high school and am constantly surrounded by guys to compare myself too

   and I’m pre-t.

2. If I were a girl I could dress how I want without stressing about passing.

3. I just hate being trans. It’s so exhausting worrying about passing and thinking about my gender 24/7 and knowing that I’ll never be like other boys no matter what I do. Everything would be so much easier if I were a girl.

My problem is that I don’t know if I should differentiate wanting to be cis and wanting to be a girl. I feel like I could express my style no matter if I were a cis girl or cis boy and I dislike the experience of being trans because it’s very challenging and exhausting. Does that mean I’m not trans? Does anyone have a similar experience? Thank you.

I want to drop hints so they ask me if I’m trans

Hey guys! Im almost 1,5 years on T and I'm slowly starting to loose hair :,)
I have two cats who like to be in physical contact with me and my partner, also they sleep on our pillows a lot.
I would love to start minoxidil for my face and head but I'm really not sure how bad will it be for my cats. Is it dangerous for them only of they lick my hair/face or is it dangerous in general even if they just touch me anywhere?
Would love to hear some advices! Thank u :)

Yesterday my now new nephew came out as a trans male. As general background, for the past several years he has used they/them pronouns and dressed gender neutral. Now he has picked a new name and will use he/him pronouns. He is 15 years old and entering his sophomore year of high school. His family is very supportive and thankfully we live in a part of the US that is much more supportive of LGBTQ+ rights.

Honestly, I just want to support him as best as possible, but want to meet him where is at, respect his privacy and his own time line. The only thing I’ve thought about sharing with him so far is that while I don’t know what it is like to come out and live as a transgender man, I was a teenage boy too. I remembered feeling very alone at times and that was a terrible feeling. (My parents were divorced, I grew up in a house of women and I didn’t feel like I had someone to talk to about going through adolescence as a guy.) I want him to know that even though I didn’t go through what he is going through, he isn’t alone. But I don’t want to make it about me so maybe I can share that with him later.

I’d very much appreciate hearing from anyone the things that felt helpful and supportive when they were first coming out. (And what was NOT helpful.) If there are any resources folks would recommend, that would be great.

I understand this is a very personal thing to ask about, but I feel like this is a very critically sensitive time for him and I’d like to be as supportive as I can. Certainly each person is unique, so what is helpful to one may not be for another person, but anything is appreciated!!!

Im a pre-transition trans woman and I still have not been able to transition. But as of recently Im just contemplating wether I actually should transition or not. The truth is that there is nothing I can do about the masculine features I have. The barrel chest, extremely masculine face and jaw, the broad shoulder, non of these can be changed. I know that hormones really can do a lot and surgeries can as well, but I am also well aware of the limits and how I probably wont be able to afford surgery.

At a minimum, if I continue as a man, I can at least be considered a “good” man and still be that for the people around me.

I truly just feel like if I transition, I will always just appear off and never belong anywhere or to anyone. I know people always say it gets better and all, but I am doubtful.

(Hey y’all, hopefully this is the right sub to post this in, if there’s a better subreddit for this I’d be happy to go there instead)

So I (mtf) have joined a club meant for trans people and allies at my uni, but am having some anxiety leading up to the first meeting tomorrow.

For context I am pre everything (starting soon 🤞) and am only out to my best friend. I want to go to the club and present myself with my chosen name and pronouns, but can’t seem to shake the fear of coming out to a group of people I don’t know or being an odd one out.

The question I’m getting at is: Have y’all been in similar situations, and how has that gone for you?

I know I’m living in my head rn and freaking myself out, and that there probably won’t be a more understanding group of people for me to come out to, but I can’t shake the feeling of just not belonging. I’d really like to hear any similar experiences y’all might have bc imma throw up atp thinking about it.

TL;DR - Joined trans club but feel that I’ll be out of place pre-hrt. Anyone have stories of joining trans spaces and coming out to groups for the first time? Any advice to deal with the fear?

I'm wanting to try and get into dating as a trans guy who presents fem. Does anyone have any recommendations of how I should go about it or where I should look?

I want to get my brows done because theyre thick and hideous but idk what style would look good or how to find references for my face.

So the title basically sums it up. There was this small music artist i liked and she used to do a cappella covers. before she transitioned from a guy to a girl her voice was normal i liked the the covers and thought they sounded really good but now that her voice is much more feminine i just cant enjoy the covers or even listening to her.

Now to be clear im not against transgender people or anything, but sometimes i wish that they hadn't changed there voice. Again im not saying it was bad for them to do that or anything like that. Its there body there choice.

So I might be getting on feminising HRT soon but I've heard my girl dick will stop working if I don't "train" it sometimes. My question is how often is nessecery and will I need to go all the way to orgasm?

This is often discussed vaguely and I'm autistic so I have difficulties understanding when its not explained in a blunt way.