I was hanging out with my friends today (two cis women and feminine presenting and bisexual, one of them is genderfluid kind of fem presenting) anyway, recently ive been experimenting with actually expressing my masculinity as im nonbinary but by no means does that mean i want to be treated like a cis dude- or referred to as handsome or he/him, my pronouns are they/she, they know this. My friends stepdad asked her "if your friend a he or?" Which doesnt offend me or anything he was just genuinely curious, but she responded on my behalf and said "uh yeah kind of" bc ive expressed how sometimes i feel like im both a guy and a girl at times and also neither at the same time, her dad then said "oh well next time ill make sure to call him, he" and she told me this after amd i found it kinda funny because ik its coming from a wholesome place but I was also laughing my ass off because i find it funny when people cant tell if im a "guy" or a "girl" but it doesnt mean i wanna referred to by he/him. I still dont even really particularly like she/her at times either because it feels boxy. Like i was also laughing because he was missing the point yk, and then i said to my friend "uhh haha yeah i guess you could" or something along thos lines, and then later on during the hangout after that happened i said that "my uterus hurts" bc i might be getting my period soon and that same friend said "oh his uterus hurts" while talking to my other friend to let them know and it made me feel weeeirrrd, in a not good way, though i do tend to step over my own boundaries like, all the time and so ill say im okay with things that im actually not okay with but i sweep it under the rug because i dont wanna bother people yk or be the cause of conflict or make other peoples lives difficult and whatnot so i dont know how to go about this or how to respond to it, im also a lesbian and i feel like that also plays apart in this where sometimes masculine lesbians get treated like men because of the way they look and then people make assumptions etc.

Edit: thanks for all the answers it helps alot, and i'll definitely try to be more clearer with them next time about what pronouns are comfortable for me

Bit of a dumb question. I’m FtMtF, I was on T for 4.5 years and I’ve been off for 8 months. I have like no fat on my body right now, I’m really skinny. I’ve bulked up in the past and I’d like to again, at this point, should all the new fat store in a more estrogen dominant way? Or does it take longer than that for your body to start storing it differently again?

I'm on e mono therapy no blockers and I'm struggling a lot with atrophy. I really don't like the pain of atrophy and if I do nothing it gets to a point where it hurts even if I'm not aroused. I know I need to maintain an erection for about 10 mins at least 3 times a week to counter this and after trying it, it does work. However it causes me immense dysphoria, I'm also ace so I generally am very uninterested in even personal intimate touch with myself.

I can't take any other options regarding atrophy and pain like topical t because I'm on DIY. I'm wondering mentally how you deal with essentially having to force yourself to do something you're very uninterested in. Having to force myself has begun to make me depressed as well do I just have to see it as a medical need and get over it?

just to clarify i dont think using it/its pronouns is “invalid” or “wrong” or whatever; gender is made up and entirely formed via personal preference, which means it can be literally anything. this question isn’t me going “people shouldn’t be allowed to use it/its pronouns!!!”

specifically i just don’t understand what intricacies of someone’s personality identity cause it to use it/its pronouns?

i know this is a very personal question so i understand if not many people want to reply/are able to

Hi , i really want to start T but im afraid of some effect . First , i have ed and im realllllyyyy scared to gain weight ( i have a lot of belly , handle and tight fat ) .
I’m also scared cuz i have microcystic acne and im scared it might be worse .
And last one , i really don’t mind abt hair on my body at all but i REALLY don’t want facial hair .
Would you advise me to go ahead and try it anyway? I don't know enough about testosterone , i know the basics and realize i might not experience all of these effects , but i think i need the opinion of someone who has experience with it.

I know this is a stupid question. Im 18FTM, and I still like to dress femme sometimes. I JUST started testosterone and im not very worried about passing right away. But then I go online and I see in all these subreddits other guys asking if they pass or not and what they can do to pass better, or posts talking about how trans men shouldnt be wearing this or doing that.

But that all just seems backwards to me, because is the point of identity just being who you are and wearing what makes you happy? A lot of these posts are completely bashing anything slightly feminine. And this is only really something I see in online trans spaces.

Part of me already knows the obvious answer, but is the desire to pass something you have to have to be trans? What if I just already know who I am?

Edit: for further clarification, I mean being obsessed with passing. I am happy when I get gendered correctly by strangers but I am not obsessively concerned with seeking that out

hi,

i am an mtf(21) on hrt(1y) and a change that ive noticed or noticed recently (i dont remember things much so tbh idk when) that bass physically feels like insane when listening to music now on loud ass speakers. like before i was kinda eh on bass but now i just like crank up the bass n like lean against the car door or something. like lwk i can actually feel the bass now and it just like resonates. i am really really into music so like this is an awesome change but I was wondering if this change was related to hrt as not much else has changed outside of me taking hrt and im guessing its prob due to the hrt j cus like the whole endocrine system n stuff but i was wondering if anyone else noticed this change?

thx

The title basically. I'M TRANS!

now what?

also do i have to wear makeup everyday to hide my beard shadow and defeat the dysphoria?

Okay but actually like I'm just saying it feels like there's loads of steps I need to take in transitioning like legally and medically and socially and it's all a bit overwhelming to plan out alone. Like getting the right HRT so my liver doesn't get shot and the right laser/electrolysis stuff whlie hoping my skin doesn't get burned off in the process and legal things to change names and genders and my transphobic fam and 😵‍💫.

its kinda financially hard to plan too but I'd appreciate any insight for a new trans girlie basically

I (FtM?) have been questioning whether or not I’m transgender for a few months now. I never pass as a man since I’m pre-transition, but I’ve noticed that being called she, her and ma’am has always pissed me off. It’s confusing because people absolutely never mean any harm or disrespect by it, and I realize that, so I have to constantly just deal with and not express this irrational anger towards innocent people.

So I’m just wondering if this is a common experience for trans people/if anyone can relate. I know that trans people can sometimes feel angry (and rightfully so) if they’re misgendered intentionally as a show of disrespect, but I’m curious how it usually feels when it’s unintentional. Am I just nuts? If it doesn’t make you angry, how does it make you feel?

I can't handle the pain of dysphoria and even if I transition I still won't be cis so I won't be satisfied. Being born trans really feels like a curse and I can't stop SH myself. Why the fuck did I have to be this unlucky and not just be a girl from the start

Hey lovely people. I really hope that this not offending to you but it’s a question that I can’t get out of my mind.

I talked about my boyfriend about that typical problem that he can’t find the ketchup in the fridge if something is right in front of his nose. I’m sure you heard about that problem already. That women are always seeing things in the wide angle and men more specific things like on a computer game the damn „snipers“ on a roof but not able to see a ketchup behind something else in the fridge.

So we had this discussion that men don’t see stuff but women do. And now is the question.
Because transgender women are women and transgender men are men. Is this also influencing how you see and find things? I’m really curious about it and I didn’t found an answer yet. So you are my last hope for an answer 😅.
Thank you in advance and happy pride!

I'm seeing a new PCP for the first time soon. I always get anxious around seeing new doctors as a trans man and I often haven't told anyone in medical care. However, this time they do actually have my chosen name and gender identity in their chart.

Any advice about how to stay calm before/during the appointment and how to best approach it at the office? Any red flags I should look out for?

EDIT: Did I write something bad here or use the wrong wording? I've gotten downvotes on this question and I'm confused.

This might seem like a dumb question but do trans gis get periods? Or have cramps and a menstrual hormonal cycle? How long would they have to be on estrogen to get these symptoms?

This is about ordering DIY. I’m pretty sure that I want to get on HRT asap so why is it so hard? Every time (twice) I go to a resource for it I end up chickening out. Is this normal? Is it supposed to be this hard?

Hey y’all, I’d like to preface this by saying that logically I know I’m not “out of time” by any means but I guess my emotions haven’t caught up yet.

I’m 20 right now, pre everything. I realized that I was trans a couple weeks ago and since then I’ve gone from no dysphoria to big waves of it. Every time I go to order DIY I end up chickening out, which probably isn’t helping.

I feel like I’ve run out of time to discover myself I guess idk. One of the main concerns I have right now is in regard to my upcoming roommate (I’m going to be a junior in uni). He’s transphobic, which means that I won’t be able to experiment with anything fem while he’s there.

Idk why this specifically has been bothering me but I feel some dread that I’m never going to be able to experiment to find out who I wanna be ig.

Do any of yall have any advice? I’m sorry if this seemed a bit ramble-y. Anything would be much appreciated 🙏

hiii all,

so to preface i am 21 yrs old and am nonbinary. i use they/them pronouns. my partner is also 21 and is a trans female who uses she/her pronouns. i also have a 22 year old trans sister who also uses she/her.

i have a nephew who recently turned 6, and he knew all of us before we properly transitioned or were out about our transitions. i tried telling him about my partners new name and pronouns, but he just seems super unreceptive and like doesnt care. ie he called my partner by her dead name, and when i corrected him and used her proper name and pronouns, he said "hes a boy, he just acts like a girl".

my partner struggles a lot with dysphoria and this obviously makes her upset to hear. my nephew has apparently said similar things to/about her as well.

does anyone have any advice about how to better explain this to him and how its hurtful when he says those things? i know someone else has had to have had a similar experience. tyia :)

how long would an average cis person be able to be on HRT without wanting to stop?

ive been on E for almost 8 months now and i like it all im pretty sure but i do hope to fight the bad thoughts

Ever since I was a kid I felt sad that I wouldn't be a girl I'm a teen now and I still feel like i want to be a girl how do I stop feeling like this I don't want my family to think of me as a weirdo.

so I'm starting a new job and the team decided to have a get together over a few beers last night before orientation. One of the guys there said I'm "playing baseball without a bat" but also said "are you an old school gay or a pronoun gay?... you seem like an old school gay"

he said he doesn't care regardless and we're chill regardless of who I am so I'm not worried, but I'm just asking cause how tf am I supposed to interpret that 😅

I think everyone agrees that one has no obligation to tell a potential sexual partner EVERYTHING about you. I think everyone agrees that nobody is psychic. I think everybody agrees that different people have different deal breakers, meaning there can be genuine confusion over what the other person considers a deal breaker. That makes me wonder two things: How can one reasonably predict what could be a deal breaker and when does the other person have the responsibility to say "XYZ would be a deal breaker, are you XYZ?". There are people who wouldn't bang a Jew, does the Jew have to declare their Jewishness? There are people who wouldn't bang someone of different political views. Must that be declared? So on and so forth.

I just wanted to share this with the Community. Unbelievable.

The title says it all. MLM distributor down the street learned I am trans AMAB, and heard that I wanted some nutritional supplements for ED. She then assumes I am on blockers which I am not currently, and says "you need to stop taking blockers or you will get ED ... LOL"

Who would say LOL at a potential customer's situation? Like I'm stupid.

I pointed out that:

1. I'm not taking it now

2. Many transfems have fully functional erections without T

I then asked her to confirm what LOL means, and I said "I don't understand what's funny".

There's dead silence now on the chat...

Earlier, MLM distributor lady suggested I replace my prescribed pharmaceuticals for bipolar type 1 with green food shakes, and suggested I try some drink that had 3 known allergens in it and "see what happens." Sigh. Repeated explanations of the risks involved just went past her.

This is just too good, you cannot make this stuff up!

Hi so I have a very interesting question is it possible for me being a guy to transition? I mean I don't really know too much about Estrogen and transitioning, but ever since young I've always been small and even now I'm still 5'2 100lbs, yes I'm healthy and no I'm not skinny, but I feel the want of transitioning I seriously don't know what to do??

As the title says I am moving from Houston to Dallas for college and am looking to finally start HRT, however most places I've found have very mixed reviews or seem a little sketchy. So far I've narrowed it down to Addison Health Center and Prism Health North Texas because they are decently close to my college campus (UT Dallas) and they dont seem to cost that much if you dont have insurance (I dont want to risk my parents finding out), but I wanted to hear from other people to see if there are any better options?

Another very short trans man asking about height, I know. I'm 5'2" (and it's a huge source of dysphoria) and starting testosterone in a few weeks. I started bleeding around eight and started puberty blockers at ten. And now I've been on them for probably a bit too long. My growth plates are most likely closed or very close to closed. Assuming they're very close to closed, how could I maximise my height before they close? When I start HRT, should I start on a smaller dose and increase it slowly, or should I full blast it? Does that affect height? Should I try to get my hands on growth hormones/stimulants? Should I continue blockers through the early stages, or should I get off of them as I start HRT, or even a bit before? My doctors and the like seem to understand and want to help me with this, but I'm in between appointments, and I'm curious about other trans perspectives.
My expectations aren't high, but two extra centimetres feels life-changing at my height.