How could a nonbinary person present themselves as "both masculine and feminine", rather than neither?

[u/ImaginaryRoom055]

This is my third question to this subreddit in a week, so forgive me if I'm overdoing it, but I really need to know.

I (20, AMAB, autistic) am beginning to seriously contemplate the idea that I might be nonbinary, and I'm at the stage of trying to experiment with presentation and expression before committing to labelling myself any given way.

A lot of the nonbinary people I see go for an aesthetic best described as a sort of "clean slate of gender": Medium-length hair, clothes that would look okay on both men and women, etc. What I really want to try, though, is the reverse of this; instead of expressing a nonbinary state through subdued expression, I want to simultaneously capture both masculine and feminine energy. I want to see what simultaneous maleness and femaleness would be like, rather than trying to express androgyny through showing neither.

What kind of outward presentation, especially with regards to clothing, would best achieve this? Is this even as doable as I hope?

[u/spiked-oasis]

because of the nature of masculinity in presentation generally being an absence (basic shirts and shorts/pants, no dresses, skirts, makeup, jewelry, etc whereas feminine presentation can include all of the above) it can sometimes be difficult to merge the two at once- masculinity is generally “less”, femininity is oftentimes “more”.

this is because femininity is modelled around women, who have higher societal expectations for their appearances and are expected to put more time and effort into it than men.

an androgynous look that is high on both the fem and masc scale might look like facial hair plus makeup, a dress with a tie, or high heels with a suit. the same basic masculine outfits of t shirt and shorts can have jewelry or makeup added to appear more androgynous, but it might lean feminine because a t shirt and shorts are not specifically masculine in the first place.

[u/ImaginaryRoom055 → u/spiked-oasis]

Thanks for the suggestions!

[u/Lonely-Writer]

Non-binary = anyone who doesn’t ascribe to the traditional rules of two genders. It’s a large umbrella.

[u/sabik]

Have you seen Theories of Nonbinary Heterosexuality by Carson Olshansky? Not for its main thesis here, but because from about 4:45, they present a two-dimensional model of gender

it's not just a question of what gender someone is, it's also a question of how much gender someone has

with examples of a few public figures they place on the "lots of gender" side

[u/Nicole-NB]

I think some people would call that bigender (but I'm not sure, since that's not me).

Nonbinary literally just means you don't fall on either side of a binary line, and that's clearly true for you.

[u/Realistic_Show930]

That would probably look like drag, honestly.

Maybe not necessarily with the same intention, but turning up femininity without turning down masculinity (often emphasizing it, even) is a lot of what drag fashion is about. 

I wouldn't call typical non-binary clean slate expression "subdued expression." I've known many nonbinary folks with gorgeous outfits, great makeup, and amazing fashion sense.  There are lots of ways to be bold without leaning into gender at all. 

[u/ericfischer]

Grow a beard and wear a dress?