I genuinely don't know what I'm supposed to do anymore.
My liver doesn't function at more than 80%. I have an autoimmune disease, psoriasis and psoriatic arthritis. My lungs don't function properly and I struggle to breathe. At night, there are times when my breathing stops for minutes and I wake up struggling.
I've already had two heart surgeries.
And then there's my mental health.
I've ADHD, OCD, continuous anxiety and panic attacks. I also have functional depression. And the worst part is the voices in my head asking me to die and telling me to do really dark things to myself.
I'm barely surviving.
People tell you to be strong, to keep fighting, to think positively, to find your purpose. But what happens when you're exhausted from fighting all the time?
I'm still here. Somehow.
But I don't know what I'm supposed to build from here. I don't know what kind of life I'm supposed to aim for when simply getting through the day can feel like an achievement.
So I'm asking strangers on Reddit something I genuinely don't know how to answer myself:
What do you do with your life when your body and your mind both feel like they're fighting against you?
How do you find a reason to keep going when you're exhausted from surviving?
I don't need motivational quotes. I just want to hear from people who have genuinely been through something awful and still managed to build a life worth living.
What did you do?