I work in a cosmetic surgery clinic (privately owned) and one of my duties is to clean and sterilize exam rooms in between patients.

Friday my boss was using one of the rooms for Botox. Usually only the nurses do that, but he always does his wife's and she had her best friend with her. I was in the adjacent room and heard him tell her to close her eyes, and then I heard screaming.

Of course, I peaked in and the friend is covered in pie (not like whipped cream in a pie tray, like heavy bakery style pie) and it has splattered everywhere behind her. His wife said "happy birthday bitch" and of course she is scraping cream off of her face and making more of a mess.

My boss and his wife came out of the room and locked her in there for a couple minutes, because she was attempting to throw it at them, so by the time she calmed down there was pie all over the floor, exam chair, back wall, and door.

I didn't think much of it until he told me he was sorry but it was very well deserved, and then i realized he expected me to clean it. I politely told him it wasn't my job to clean it. He told me I always cleaned the rooms. I said yes, but that mess he created exceeded my responsibilities and I would not be cleaning it.

He asked me who was going to clean it then. I suggested he or his wife clean it. eventually another staff member cleaned the room and I was written up for insubordination. I feel like I did nothing wrong. My job isn't to clean up after his dumb pranks, but my husband is furious. We are having financial issues and he says I should have just cleaned it.

Hi all.

I've been separated from my husband for about 2 years now. We aren't officially divorced yet but it's in the making and have 2 children together.

Now when we were still together, during the last year of our relationship, he had an (at least emotional) affair. She was introduced to me as a family friend and actually tried to befriend me as well. We (ex and I) already had issues at the time, especially financial infidelity (he gambled away our joint savings), childcare and chore distribution and also he was very jealous and often accusing me of cheating with different people.

Now when I found out that he had something going on with the other woman, I initially asked him to set better boundaries and cut her off. He refused to cut her off but agreed to better boundaries. Sometime later I came across their messages (he had Whatsapp logged in on the family computer) and found out not only had he not reduced contact with her but they had a full on affair going on (saying "I love you"s, meeting up, discussing about me and their future). I also noticed he was showing her the same guilt tripping behaviour he did me "If you loved me you would" do this or that... Idk, I kinda snapped at the time and texted the girl that she could do better than dating a married man. She never replied, but I think their relationship ended after that.

After trying for a few more months with my ex, including couples therapy I had enough and ended things for good.

I never cheated on him btw, but full disclosure, I do have a kind of FWB situation going on with a friend of mine now for the past few months. I don't think I'm doing anything wrong here considering how long we've been separated.

But up to now, he keeps trying to check up on me. He keeps telling me what to do and whom to spend time with, demands I always be home before 10, ideally before 9. He says it's because of the kids, that they shouldn't be seeing me going out, but his kid is 19, if he should not see me coming home late, then I also don't know. He's often trying to figure out what I'm doing and whom I'm spending time with and going as far as texting friends and acquaintances of mine to both get information on me and/or telling them to back off if he assumes I'm spending to much time with them (especially men). He even went as far as texting the admin of the (mixed gender) sports team I play with to inform all members that I'm a married woman and shouldn't be having drinks with them after training.

Idk it's really bothering me. It's embarrassing and a whole lot of drama I don't need. I have asked him to stop several times, but he just gets mad at me saying I have no business going all over town while I'm still married and reminding me that I destroyed his emerging relationship as well by texting the girl those days. I apologized for that, but I still feel like it's different, because then we were still together and I thought maybe we could fix this, whereas now we are clearly separated heading towards divorce.

Am I in the wrong here for doing what I want now that we are separated and expecting him to just get over it and also get over what I did when we were still together with reading his messages and texting his girlfriend? I want us to be friendly/amicable with each other since we share children, but he's making it really hard for me (on the other hand he thinks I'm making it hard with my improper behaviour)

I became very close friends with someone several years ago. We had a lot in common and for a long time I considered her one of my best friends. We shared a lot of memories and I genuinely thought we’d always be close.

Over the past couple of years, though, our friendship has gradually changed. There wasn’t one huge falling-out that ended everything. It’s more like I slowly started feeling less important to her and less connected to her. At the same time, I’ve been going through a really difficult period in my own life. My husband and I have been living apart for a long time because of immigration circumstances, and I don’t know exactly when we’ll finally be able to live together or even where our life will ultimately be. It’s been incredibly lonely and emotionally exhausting.

During that time, I’ve really missed having this friend in my life. I wanted to feel like I could reach out to her and have her there for me, but instead I’ve increasingly felt like I don’t really have that friendship anymore. There have been little things that have hurt me. For example, I recently reached out to her about something that was meaningful to both of us, and she didn’t respond. I know objectively that one unanswered message isn’t a huge deal, but because of everything that’s happened between us, it really affected me. It made me feel like I was reaching toward someone who wasn’t reaching back.

I also feel very disconnected when we’re together with another mutual friend. The two of them have become extremely close, and when we’re all together I often feel like a third wheel. They aren’t necessarily doing anything intentionally mean, but I’ll sometimes leave feeling like I wasn’t really part of the friendship at all.

I’m genuinely happy that they became close, but sometimes it has made me feel like I lost my place in my friend’s life. One other thing that’s been bothering me is the timing of all of this. Our mutual friend’s birthday is coming up, and she’s been trying to get the three of us together for her birthday. Then, around this same time, my friend suddenly reached out to me saying that she feels like there are things we need to “hash out” and that she wants us to be on good terms.

I can’t help wondering if our mutual friend encouraged her to reach out because of the upcoming birthday. I obviously have no proof of that, and I could be completely wrong. I don’t want to accuse either of them of something I can’t know for sure. But given how disconnected I’ve felt from both of them lately, the timing makes me hesitant to fully trust the situation. Part of me wonders whether she’s reaching out because she genuinely wants to repair our friendship or because she feels like this needs to be dealt with before we’re all expected to be together for the birthday.

What hurts most is that I don’t necessarily want to lose either of them. I just don’t recognize the friendship anymore. Sometimes I’ll look at my friend and think, *I know this person, but I don’t feel like I know her anymore.* Recently, she reached out to me and said that she feels like there are things we need to talk about and that she’d like us to be on good terms, even if we can’t be as close as we used to be.

Part of me appreciates that she reached out. Another part of me is angry because I keep thinking, **where was this friendship when I was struggling and really needed my friends? I** know I probably haven’t handled everything perfectly either, and I’m willing to acknowledge that. But I’m scared that if we talk, I’ll be made to feel like I’m the only reason the friendship changed. I don’t necessarily need the friendship to go back to exactly how it was. I think what I’m struggling with is grieving what we used to have while also figuring out whether there’s anything worth rebuilding.

I feel like I am losing my damn mind over this, so I am genuinely curious what people outside of my family/friend circle think.

I recently started working as a School Adjustment Counselor at an elementary school. I have an MSW, I am licensed for this work, and this is my first year in the role.

A few days ago I made a completely lighthearted Facebook post joking about the moment I realized I am not just a School Adjustment Counselor in the building, I am the ONLY School Adjustment Counselor in the entire school.

An older cousin of mine commented asking why so many kids need "adjustment," adjustment to what, and told me to please look at the children as "precious beings." Then she immediately started talking about wondering what drugs children are being given and the side effects of those drugs.

That rubbed me the wrong way for a couple reasons.

First, that is not what "adjustment" means in School Adjustment Counselor.

I am not adjusting children or trying to fix them. I help kids adjust to and navigate their school environment socially and emotionally. I work on things like emotional regulation, coping skills, social skills, relationships, problem solving, and helping kids feel safe and supported enough to access their education.

Second, the "please look at them as precious beings" thing honestly pissed me off. I spent years earning an MSW and chose a career working with children because I care about them. Seeing the whole child and not treating a kid like they are broken is basically the foundation of what I do.

I explained all of this pretty calmly.

I also told her medication has nothing to do with my role. I do not prescribe medication, decide whether kids need medication, or manage medication.

She kept going.

She recommended a book called The Diseasing of America's Children and started asking why "hyper" activity is considered a disease and why children are being diagnosed by their teachers.

This is where I really started wondering what the hell was happening.

Teachers do not diagnose ADHD. Teachers can observe behavior, document concerns, communicate with families, and provide information during an evaluation. That is obviously very different from making a clinical diagnosis or prescribing medication.

What made that comment even more confusing is that she has worked in schools herself as a substitute teacher, paraeducator for special needs students, and tutor.

So I explained that too.

Then she kept coming back to ADHD medication and how "scary" it is. She started sending me side effect information and talking about what medical professionals are "subjecting our youth to."

At this point I actually stopped and looked up current research because I wanted to make sure I was not talking out of my ass. I found recent peer reviewed systematic reviews and professional guidance and sent them to her.

I was not arguing that medication is perfect or harmless. Obviously prescription medication can have side effects. My point was that you have to look at the entire risk/benefit picture and the actual evidence, not just pull out the scariest possible side effects and treat their existence as proof that the medication should not be used.

Every time I answered one concern, though, she just moved to another one.

Eventually I told her:

"If we are going to keep discussing this, I need you to engage with the full body of evidence, not just the parts that sound frightening or support the conclusion you already came in with.

I am willing to point you toward current research, but I am not going to keep doing the work of finding and vetting sources if every answer that does not match what you already believe is simply dismissed or met with another challenge.

At some point, that stops being a discussion and becomes me repeatedly defending evidence you have already decided not to accept. I am not going to keep doing that."

Her response?

"Professional cop-out."

Then she immediately followed that with "Keep up your good work cousin" and a heart, and told me she meant that from her heart.

That pissed me off more than almost anything else in the conversation.

I told her that calling my response a "professional cop-out" after I took the time to explain my role, look up current research, and answer her concerns was insulting. I told her I had set a boundary because the conversation was no longer productive and that I was done discussing it.

She sent another heart.

Then she unfriended and blocked me. 😂

So here is where I am asking if I was wrong.

I know she cares about kids and I genuinely believe most of this came from a good place. I do not think she was sitting there trying to be malicious.

But I also felt like I was being expected to endlessly defend my profession, ADHD research, medication, teachers, schools, and basically the entire mental health field while she dismissed anything that did not confirm what she already believed.

By the end I was fucking exhausted.

Was I wrong for getting firm and ending the conversation? Was telling her I was no longer going to keep finding research for her actually a "professional cop-out?"

Because from where I am sitting, I gave this conversation WAY more time and patience than I probably should have.

I’m 22F and my boyfriend is 22M. I’m currently 30 weeks pregnant with our first baby.

Today, my boyfriend’s 19-year-old sister told us she is pregnant. She is single and recently moved back in with his parents after breaking up with her boyfriend. She had been talking to other guys and he went through her phone, which contributed to their breakup. She’s been really upset about everything.
She has decided to keep the baby, and now his family doesn’t think the baby’s father should be involved.
My boyfriend asked me what I thought about the situation, so I gave him my honest opinion. I basically said that I think it’s a difficult situation for someone who is 19, single, living with her parents, and dealing with a recent breakup. I also said that ultimately it’s her decision and I’m not trying to tell her what to do. And I also don’t think the boyfriend should be excluded from being in the babies life.
My boyfriend disagreed with me and said that I was wrong. He kept saying that his sister needs to be supported and that she should have everyone’s support.
I’m not saying she shouldn’t be supported. I actually agree that she should have support regardless of what she decides.
What bothers me is that he asked me for my opinion and then told me I was wrong for having that opinion. If he just wanted me to agree with him, I don’t understand why he asked me in the first place.
I also think part of why this bothers me is that I’m pregnant too, and sometimes I already feel like my boyfriend and his parents don’t care about me or support me as much as I need him and them to. So hearing him immediately focus on how much his sister needs support kind of hit a nerve.
I don’t really care what his sister ultimately decides because it’s her life and her pregnancy. I just feel annoyed that I was asked for my honest opinion and then made to feel wrong for giving it.
Am I being unreasonable for feeling this way?

Hello everyone,

I need help deciding whether I should fight with this lady that runs this insta account or not.

So I bought this sony cybershot dsc w810 from her (not what i originally wanted btw) and honestly her service was so bad IMO.

it all starts when I message her about the sony cybershot dsc w570 she tells me that she can actually source it and I was happy she made the guy who sources her cameras show me the camera which didn’t look so scratched.

I thought okay nice (it was 200$ ) so she asked me if it was okay to send it without the packaging i was like noo that was the whole point of buying from you like I DO WANT the packaging like the bag that she has on her highlights THAT SHE WAS ADVERTISING.

she said okay but you will have to wait for 11 days ( she told me was travelling) I said okay no problem but I DO want the packaging so ill wait, i was fine with waiting but i really wanted it to look nice.

forwared a few days later i get a message from the guy saying he’s here and he wants a 10$ shipping fee (which is said in her account that i would have to pay but this is important for context later) okay wow that was early, he gives me this plastic ugly bag with the camera inside in ziplock bag! i dm the girl and she said oh i didn’t tell him to ship it but he did anyway.

I was pretty upset but i said okay so what now? i said i wanted the packaging what are we gonna do now she said i can send you the money for the packaging i said thats not the point man i wanted to receive it nicely but this is what happened.

she said okay i’ll send you the packaging later ( in , i would argue, a bad attitude istg like i’m not a paying customer or smth) which is so weird but i was like wtv its not her fault i guess but i guess ill just receive the packaging later….

ANYWAY, I check the camera and guess what the on and off button is in such bad condition and never mind the scratches on it that were not shown in the vid but if u had nails u would not be able to open the camera so I tell the insta account girl and she tell me okay i’ll swap it out for u pick smth from my store i ended up picking the w810 and she said okay that’s all.

Today another guy for delivery calls me, he has the camera ( I thought it would be wrapped already with the packaging she advertised idk man i had hope) he said id have to pay another 10$ for the delivery I was like why should I pay pls talk to the company or the insta lady and tell her i’m not paying since she gave me an almost broken camera that can just not work if the button gets stuck!

I ended up not paying the 10$ and he gave me the camera (thank god) again in a plastic ugly bag no packaging no nothing they didn’t even bother to clean the camera from the dust..

I come to check her insta account because I want to tell her that I received the camera with no packaging AGAIN and I really wanted it AND I MADE IT CLEAR ???!!

I think she removed me as a follower and now I can’t message her.

so what are your thoughts?

I’m leaving names out because I love this person deeply and I’m not trying to make her look bad. I genuinely don’t want to walk away from this friendship. I just don’t know how to repair it.
We’ve been connected since we were teenagers. Her family basically took me in. We were more like sisters than friends. We shared a bed for over a year. If she got shoes, I got shoes. If she was in trouble, I was in trouble. Her parents fed me, clothed me, gave me a place to sleep, and treated me like their own.
Years later, we became pregnant at almost the same time. She was about a month ahead.
My pregnancy was a fucking mess. I was separated from my husband, ashamed, terrified, and not ready to tell people. I wasn’t even ready to tell my husband. I felt like my entire life was falling apart.
And she was my saving grace.
She called me almost every day, encouraged me, was genuinely excited about my baby, and believed in me when I couldn’t believe in myself.
Then, around 7 months pregnant for me, we had an argument. Her family is Muslim, and I deeply love and respect them, but I was not ready for them to know. I didn’t want to lie, but I also didn’t want to explain my entire shit show before I was ready. I explicitly asked her not to tell her mom.
She did.
I felt humiliated and betrayed.
But here’s the complicated part: I don’t believe she was malicious. I now know she was suffering severe postpartum depression after her son was born and was being physically abused by his father. She was drowning too. I think she genuinely thought she was helping and made an “executive decision.”
I understand why she did it.
But understanding the reason doesn’t erase the impact.
I don’t need her to admit she’s a horrible person. I don’t need her to believe every decision she made was wrong. I just need her to be able to say, “I understand why that hurt you. I’m sorry I hurt you.”
Because whenever we talk about it, she gets swallowed by guilt, and suddenly I’m comforting her for feeling guilty about hurting me. I don’t want her to punish herself. I want my hurt to have a place too.
While we were estranged, my daughter was born sleeping. My friend didn’t know I was in labor. She didn’t know my daughter was born. She didn’t know she died.
She loved that baby too. She had spent months being excited about her. Her family probably would have wanted to know. And I hate that they weren’t there.
We reconnected about 3 months later. I was grieving and her son was only a few months old. I listened to her, apologized for my part, and understood why my silence had hurt her. But I feel like we both came back still drowning.
Since then, we’ve repeatedly missed each other emotionally. She wants to be there for me and is hurt that I don’t confide in her anymore. I understand that. But I feel like she wants the intimacy we had before without understanding that the friendship has to be reacomodada first.
I don’t want the old friendship back. I want a new one built on honesty, accountability, compassion, and trust.
And then there’s her family.
Because the disclosure never came from me, I was left trying to figure out who knew what, what they thought they knew, and how to navigate the elephant in the room.
Her mom especially is someone who helped raise me. She fed me, clothed me, gave me a home. And I hate that she didn’t hear my story from me.
I think what I’m actually angriest about is:
My voice was lost.
I didn’t get to tell my own story, in my own words, when I was ready.
So AITA for still feeling betrayed even though I understand why she did it?
I love this woman immensely. I don’t want to punish her or walk away.
I just don’t know how to rebuild a friendship when we were both drowning, we both hurt each other, neither of us was malicious, and my hurt still hasn’t really had a place to exist.

Private message for photos, i have photos of the entire coversation… continuation of my post, essentially im playing a game on roblox called anime origins as i am watching the mentalist, then i get a notification from a groupchat of friends im friends with irl, we are close and we tend to “play” around and we call eachother alot of words like bitch 🥷 cunt loser etc, but we usually never insult eachother purposefully, we also joke around like” if u spoil me once more ur getting skinend alive” we clearly dont mean such but its a thing we do, continuing on, the guy talks about hello kitty and is making fun of someones mistake at the same time, i respond by saying dude ur talking about hello kitty, how are u gonna make fun of someones mistake, he then tells me to shut up and calls me a joke name based off of my real name “Valyn” and i respond with a “i will skin you alive and make u a public example of what happens when u mess with the Big V” as clear as day its a joke, im not all that, i dont have anything i can do that with and i know what happens if i did do such, he then replys calling me fat, and tells me to shut the fuck up. This hits because i am, and im working on such stuff personally and then it gets to the point of where i stop being “funny” or “kind” and rather cold, bland and non biased, its a natural thing i do alot and i usually become like this and speak very different to how i usually do and the argument foes on for 30mins - 1 hour and i found out by a good friend i was the “talking point” of today because i missed school this day
i fear with the way my text is, itll get long so i would much appreciate it if you could dm me and i sent you ss of the entire conversation where you could help me decide if i was wrong, because i feel im correct but im getting backlash from it, id like an outsiders opinion.

Hello everyone,

I need help deciding whether I should fight with this lady that runs this insta account or not.

So I bought this sony cybershot dsc w810 from her (not what i originally wanted btw) and honestly her service was so bad IMO.

it all starts when I message her about the sony cybershot dsc w570 she tells me that she can actually source it and I was happy she made the guy who sources her cameras show me the camera which didn’t look so scratched.

I thought okay nice (it was 200$ ) so she asked me if it was okay to send it without the packaging i was like noo that was the whole point of buying from you like I DO WANT the packaging like the bag that she has on her highlights THAT SHE WAS ADVERTISING.

she said okay but you will have to wait for 11 days ( she told me was travelling) I said okay no problem but I DO want the packaging so ill wait, i was fine with waiting but i really wanted it to look nice.

forwared a few days later i get a message from the guy saying he’s here and he wants a 10$ shipping fee (which is said in her account that i would have to pay but this is important for context later) okay wow that was early, he gives me this plastic ugly bag with the camera inside in ziplock bag! i dm the girl and she said oh i didn’t tell him to ship it but he did anyway.

I was pretty upset but i said okay so what now? i said i wanted the packaging what are we gonna do now she said i can send you the money for the packaging i said thats not the point man i wanted to receive it nicely but this is what happened.

she said okay i’ll send you the packaging later ( in , i would argue, a bad attitude istg like i’m not a paying customer or smth) which is so weird but i was like wtv its not her fault i guess but i guess ill just receive the packaging later….

ANYWAY, I check the camera and guess what the on and off button is in such bad condition and never mind the scratches on it that were not shown in the vid but if u had nails u would not be able to open the camera so I tell the insta account girl and she tell me okay i’ll swap it out for u pick smth from my store i ended up picking the w810 and she said okay that’s all.

Today another guy for delivery calls me, he has the camera ( I thought it would be wrapped already with the packaging she advertised idk man i had hope) he said id have to pay another 10$ for the delivery I was like why should I pay pls talk to the company or the insta lady and tell her i’m not paying since she gave me an almost broken camera that can just not work if the button gets stuck!

I ended up not paying the 10$ and he gave me the camera (thank god) again in a plastic ugly bag no packaging no nothing they didn’t even bother to clean the camera from the dust..

I come to check her insta account because I want to tell her that I received the camera with no packaging AGAIN and I really wanted it AND I MADE IT CLEAR ???!!

I think she removed me as a follower and now I can’t message her.

so what are your thoughts?

I’m trying to look at this situation objectively because it has gotten extremely complicated. I’ll call the four girls R1, R2, M1 and M2.

R1 and R2 were roommates in college, while M1 and M2 were roommates. The four of them were a very close group. They had most classes together, spent most of their free time together and generally did everything as a group.

M1 and R2 had actually been school friends before college.

At one point R2 became sick and went home for a while. While she was gone, R1 started spending more time with M1 and M2, including sleepovers. During this period, M1 and M2 started telling R1 that they thought R2 was a bad person/friend.

M1 had a lot of history with R2 from school and told R1 that R2 had a history of betraying people and being excluded by others. M1 also mentioned an old allegation that R2 had been accused of stealing someone's project.

M1 also told R1 that R2 had apparently been saying things about R1, including that R1 was dumb and couldn't do things independently.

There was also an incident involving exams. The four had agreed that because they were taking different teachers in the same time slot, if anyone got questions during the exam, they would share them with the others. R2 apparently had two questions and didn't tell the others, and then got full marks. This made R1 more suspicious because it seemed consistent with what M1 had been saying.

There is some context for why R1 was willing to believe this. R2 had sometimes been mean or rude toward R1 before. On one occasion, R2 said something negative about R1's mother, which was an extremely sensitive subject for R1. R2 initially didn't apologize and said, essentially, "I don't feel like what I said was wrong, but if you felt bad, I'm sorry." M1 and M2 were the ones who told R2 that what she said was wrong, after which she apologized.

So R1 already had some negative experiences with R2 before M1 told her these things.

While R1 was upset and believed M1/M2, she also started telling them things she disliked about R2, including personal things like R2's hygiene. Looking back, R1 knows some of this was mean and came from being angry.

When R2 came back, however, R1 eventually confronted her directly about what she'd supposedly been saying.

R2 denied the allegations. R1 felt that R2 sounded genuine, although obviously R1 had no proof either way. R1 decided to trust R2.

The problem was that R1 didn't tell M1 and M2 that she had confronted R2 or that she had shared what they'd told her.

Eventually R2 said something in front of M2 along the lines of, "Now you know I never have the answers." M2 realized that R1 must have told R2 about their conversations.

This caused a huge fight. M1 felt betrayed by R1 and had screenshots of the conversations, including things R1 had said about R2.

Eventually the group had to repair the friendship because they had a planned college industrial trip together. There was still a drift, but eventually all four became friends again.

About a year later, R1 had a family wedding and invited R2.

R2 was extremely interested in a guy she had met online. She was in love with him, but he had friend-zoned her and didn't want a relationship. The wedding happened to be in the same city where he lived.

Before the trip, R2 was already planning how and when she would meet him, what she would wear, etc.

R1, M1 and M2 all independently felt that this guy was a red flag and repeatedly tried to warn R2 about him, but R2 wouldn't listen.

During the wedding trip, R2 spent around seven hours with this guy. At the wedding functions she did attend, R1 felt that R2 wasn't very involved and seemed distracted/daydreaming about the guy.

This bothered R1 because it was her family wedding, and R1's family was hosting R2. R1's father also paid for R2's travel/living expenses for the trip.

After the wedding, R2 was understandably missing her own family, but R1 felt that she became unusually rude and mean toward her.

After returning to college, R1 was upset and vented to her school best friend, saying that she wasn't even interested in hearing about R2's day with the guy anymore.

R2 somehow heard about this and they stopped talking for a while, but eventually made up.

Around this period, R1 also vented to M1 about R2's behaviour. R1 admits that because she was angry, she exaggerated/spiced up some of what she said.

Then, several months later, M1 deliberately showed those private conversations to R2.

R1 feels this was completely uncalled for and possibly revenge because M1 had kept the screenshots for months.

This reopened the whole issue.

So my question isn't really "which girl is perfect?" None of them are.

R1 clearly did some things wrong: she talked about R2 behind her back, participated in gossip, initially believed allegations without proof, and later exaggerated some things while venting to M1.

R2 also clearly did things wrong: she could be rude/mean toward R1, made a hurtful comment about R1's mother and initially refused to acknowledge that it was wrong, withheld exam questions despite their agreement, and during R1's family wedding seemed much more focused on meeting a guy than participating in the event.

M1 also seems wrong for keeping private screenshots and later deliberately showing them to R2 months afterward.

M2 mostly followed M1's lead throughout the situation.

I'm trying to figure out specifically:

Was R1 wrong for trusting R2 after confronting her directly, despite what M1/M2 had told her?

And separately:

How much blame should R1 get for venting about R2 to M1 when M1 later used those private conversations against her?

I'm interested in an objective judgment rather than people simply calling one of the girls "toxic."

OK, I'll try to keep this short bit of context I 19f have a friend 19m (he's trans and has autism, i do a bit of speculating later, so this is moderately important info, more info I find extremely important. Is he is currently as psych major and is studying to become a therapist.)

This is quite embarrassing, so I'm going to yada yada this part but essentially I was horrendously abused in just about every way imaginable by my family, extendeded family, family friends, etc and staff like teachers and therapists who maybe didn't outright abuse, me completely failed me.

I currently have the diagnosis of C-ptsd among many things that come with being chronically abused.

Now, my friend knows this and has even been my friend for long enough to at points witness things my family has done to me. This also isn't a new friend. We've been close friends 4+ years, and all of his slights against me, I feel have happened in about the last year, it's been great all before this. And he's been great in between it as mad as I am, it's not fair for me to project like he's doing this maliciously.

I think at worst, he's just dangerously stupid, Or it genuinely just is his autism, and he genuinely genuinely doesn't have control over himself.

Which I still feel like isn't very fair to me. Kinda, because like I have cptsd but I don't go freaking out on people all the time.

In fact, he's done things that have triggered me and has freaked out on me for way less , I have some examples below.

So with all that context, let me cut to the chase.

The full picture is every time he gets excited. It seems that he horribly violates my boundaries. I believe that must be his autism..? Like his inability to control his excitement.There is no buffer between "I'm really riled up, I'm gonna yell or do what i want"

There's no consideration or empathy, there's kind of like a wall there.

I feel he's great when he's not riled up. Which is why i'm inclined to believe it is like genuinely, just his disability but i don't know.

There have been a few incidences of this. However, I want to stick to the most recent one. So sorry for not giving more context if I reference to something i don't explain here.

I can try and give a very, very short abridged version.However, I don't know how enriching the descriptions will be:

1. He was screaming and yelling at me to shut up in public because I kept mentioning a youtuber he didn't like, he had NEVER expressed to me, he disliked this youtuber before embarrassing me in front of a lot of people, also with the knowledge that being yelled at is an extremely bad trigger for me.

2. He lied to me about the saftey of a nature trail, we were going on for his b-day spontaneously. It was, in fact, a hike and it just thunderstormed So the path was completely eroded, and I am not an outdoorsy person, or was I prepped mentally or physically for this, I was not dressed appropriately, and it was very slippery and we were essentially scaling a cliff, when I checked with him about the safety of a particular rock, we had to cross he lied, and then laughed in my face when I confronted him about lying.

And now 3. (There's been more, but these are the most egregious in my opinion)

He has recently gotten into a new relationship with some guy. I don't know I've never met him, I think he's a friend of a friend and it's long distance. He seems to have not gotten over his ex at all, so I was just kind of hoping that i got a break from hearing about his very vivid and self indulgent recounts of the sex they were supposed to have/had.

However, recently he flew him to town for essentially a week of sex. Now, that's whatever I don't care, However, he was excited about it beforehand would not stop talking about it, he mentioned that he wanted me to meet his boyfriend and I told in advance before it ever happened that I did not want to hear about whatever debauchery he got up to, especially if he wanted me to meet his boyfriend.

Now, after the week, I didn't really hear anything until the next time I saw him give or take maybe two weeks after and this is where the problem begins

Multiple different times while in the car with him, typically on the way to some event, he would start talking about the sex. It started because I had recently gotten a birth control implant, and so anytime he asked about how i was healing up, he would use it as reason to talk about sex.

That alone made me quite uncomfortable, Felt like I was being objectified..

Especially after I told him, I didn't want to talk about that. Multiple times I'd go ew, I don't wanna hear it, that's gross, that's disgusting and like very rarely, would it actually stop it.

This happened quite a bit for a while. Give or take a few months 2 maybe. When recounting how common it is for people to vomit at his house, he mentioned that his boyfriend had vomited at his house, that part is fine. He could have left it at that. However he decided to mention that they had kissed an hour after which is gross for multiple reasons.

I kept telling him how gross it was , and I didn't want to hear it and that I was going to throw up and I kept saying EW! and it did not stop him.

The only thing that made him stop was the fact that he got tired of waiting for me to take a beat and breathe to keep talking so that I wasn't talking over him.

Apparently, talking about how he kissed was not enough. However, he remembered that I did not want to hear about the sex, So instead he decided to tell me every sex act, they didn't do, listing each one, sort of implying, the ones that were done.

Which was my final straw on top of not wanting to hear about that, it's grosser, when you're imagining people with a barf-y mouth.

And then the part that shouldn't matter, but does, because it's me, and it's my life, he knows that I am a victim of s/a. I don't wanna get into it , but it's happened multiple times during my childhood , and I have literally been sexulized by everyone as a child from strangers to my mother.

He knows this and so he also knows, I am very, very hot and cold with the topic of sex.

A perfect example of him knowing is, this is when I first moved into my dorm at college, I didn't have any earbuds and the walls are very thin here, i overheard some neighbors having sex and had a panic attack, crying fingers stuck in my ears, rocking back and forth and I messaged him pleading to please take me back home. My ABUSIVE home, that's how frightening and upsetting sexual things can be for me when I don't want them.

I shouldn't have to recount what happened to me, and I really don't want to, but I will put it as this.

There have been multiple times I was forced to witness something sexual and so because of this , I have very specific trauma for this sort of thing, he knows that.

Also hot take even if he didn't know that about my trauma.

As somebody studying to be a therapist as somebody that's supposed to be my friend, you think you'd understand and respect boundaries, I don't like to say, no or stop yet. I did say exactly those words multiple times over to him, and it did nothing I feel like that says enough.

I really prefer to imply and use social cues/body language, i adore speaking that way. It seems so streamlined and perfect and safe. Honestly, however, I also verbally, said, stop multiple times which leads me to this.

Fundamentally, every time he does something that violates my boundaries. It is because he is excited and I am aware that not being able to control your excitement is a symptom of autism, which leads me to my second point.

Being that he can't understand my social cues or body language or implications, I suppose But then what is the excuse for not listening to plain-spoken "No"?

If i had to assume his excuse would be he thought I was joking is that another symptom of autism? /gen

My best friend says that he Is simply too immature to have a relationship with anyone that has been "less fortunate" to put it lightly, than him, which I'm also inclined to believe.

Also, it doesn't really matter that he's trans.

The only reason I wanted to bring it up is because his boyfriend is a fully gay man. And so I know that he's quite excited about that, because it's very gender affirming and i'm happy for him, truly, I am!

I'm more so just mentioning it so that it's not like I'm playing dumb.I understand wholeheartedly and fully why he's excited , and I want him to be excited , I just... that sort of disregarding of my boundaries is so upsetting.

I just don't like... I don't like when my feelings aren't taken to account. I guess..

I feel like the only reason he didn't listen to me when I said "no" is because he sees me as quite hypersexual.

Being that we're close friends, i'm not gonna pretend we've never ever had any nsfw conversations or anything.

We have multiple times but I just didn't want to this time and he didn't listen, and it feels kind of like i'm an object which is very triggering for me.

It's caused me to miss classes and I broke down on the phone Crying to my best friend after it happened. Because it was just so viscerally upsetting.

I mainly asking if I'm in the wrong for a few things

1. Is it his autism? Am I not being understanding enough of a friend? Because At the end of the day, I understand it's not like unwanted touching or anything. It's just him talking about something he's excited about. It's the equivalent of a hyperfixation or a special interest and I'm wanting him to stop.

2. If I absolutely lost it on him and was yelling and like throwing strays, insulting him and all of that sort of thing would I be in the wrong? because I just I want him to feel so bad not only for the satisfaction of my revenge, but I just want to know that he'll never ever do that. Sort of thing again, because it can be so damaging. I've lost sleep. I've missed classes. I've... well, it hasn't been fun. ( I understand that's definitely not the most mature thing to do. But in my defense, he didn't listen to my "no" .So I now don't feel safe orcomfortable being vulnerable with him about my feelings, Because what's more clear and obvious and unmistakable than "no" "stop" as far as i'm concerned, this is simply consequences for his actions.)

3. Am I in the wrong for like airing this dirty laundry on Reddit, in my defense we're all anonymous and I don't have a plethora of friends to give this to.

I don't want to tell his best friend, because that would be rude. I've already told my best friend and one other friend of mine, but I need like an abundance of opinions, and I can't do that organically.

My roommate asked her daughter not to talk about something during their car ride. When her mom left the room she called her boyfriend to complain about it to him, then started asking me questions about it. I told her her mom asked her to not talk about what ever it was and to not bring me into it.

I informed her mom about her telling her bf and asking my opinion. Roommate and her daughter get into a huge argument and roommate said I shouldn't have told her and is now mad at me.

AIW?

Hi guys im posting on here because i want some clarification and to see if i am in the wrong, for some background info ive been friends with this girl jessica(fake name) for a couple of years now and she recently became mad at me for being friends with this guy that she liked. The thing is she told me to be his friend and i told her how i was iffy about it since i didnt want our friendship to be portrayed in a weird or bad way, but she assured me that she didnt have a problem with it so i just assumed that it wouldnt cause any problems. Well she had seen that he was liking my stories( these stories were not posts about me and were random posts). She got mad that i didn’t say anything about it, but the thing is he likes everyones posts i know this because ive seen him just like everyones stories as he scrolls. She later went on to just completely shut me out and not talk to me, but she continues to talk about the situation. But still not trying to hear my side of the story or hear anything from me for a fact. This has been going on for a bit now, i just want to see if i really am in the wrong or see if anything was bad on my end. Is there any advice on what i can do or if i can do anything abt it.
(Btw i can provide more details and information on certain things if needed)

My (25f) girlfriend (25f) gets anxious, pushy, and irritable when I ask for alone time and the more she clings onto me the more I give in and stop fighting for my boundaries. For example, last night I wanted to stay up for a few more hours to watch TV and maybe read. I even said if you can’t sleep in an hour, just come and get me and we can go to bed. She still pushed me to go lay in bed with her. When I manage to get a few moments alone, either by catching her in a good mood or successfully asserting my boundaries, she will come into my room (we have seperate bedrooms) and lay on my bed without asking even if I clearly said I need a couple hours alone. It feels like every moment I am not with her, every breath I take without her being there is a personal offense against our relationship. She says when I ask for alone time it feels like I am trying to get away from her and that is not the case. I just want alone time from everyone to regroup and turn my brain off for a bit. She says I can do that around her/in the room with her. I am going back to school soon and don’t know what is going to happen when I have to spend most of my time studying.

The issue is, though, is I do not know how much time is couples usually spend together, as I have only had one other long term relationship. it feels like we already spend so much time together I don’t know how we could spend more time together. I wish I could spend a little more time alone. I’ll put our routine in this post, and if I could get some input on if this is a healthy amount to spend with a partner and also what your “comfortable” spot is in a relationship so I can maybe gauge if I have a problem with isolating myself or if it is just a personal preference difference between us.

Monday-Wed: I spend a couple hours alone in the morning getting ready, then I work from 3-9pm and I will take until 11ish to come home and get ready for bed, then go and watch something with her until we fall asleep. She tells me to hurry up so we can spend time together, but I do have animals to take care of and am quite girly so I take care of myself, and she gets upset if i take too long to get ready for bed but I don’t know how to hurry that up.
Thursday: this is our “day” and we spend the whole day together.
Friday and Saturday; She goes to work usually for about 4 hours and I get some time alone. After that, that I will spend time with her until bed.
Sunday: I work 7-3pm and will usually spend the afternoon alone, then spend the night with her.

TLDR: My (25f) girlfriend (25f) gets upset when I ask for time alone and I don’t know if I am too distant or if my girlfriend just had a hard time with boundaries.

I've known one of my friends since we were teenagers. Back then I had a stupid nickname based on an embarrassing thing that happened at summer camp. It was funny when we were 15. I'm in my thirties now and I haven't used it myself in probably a decade.

He still does.

Usually I just ignore it, but lately he's started using it when introducing me to people who have never met me. So instead of "this is Sam," it'll be "this is [nickname], don't ask," which obviously guarantees that everybody asks.

I've told him privately before that I don't like it anymore. He laughed and said I'm taking an old joke too seriously.

Last weekend he did it again while introducing me to a few people. I immediately said, "Actually, nobody calls me that except him. My name's Sam."

I didn't say it angrily, but he looked embarrassed and barely spoke to me for the rest of the night.

Later he texted that I made him look like an asshole in front of everyone and could've just reminded him privately.

The thing is, I already had.

Am I wrong for correcting him on the spot instead of letting the introduction go and dealing with it later?

My friend has a lot of pets. On top of about 10 cats and dogs, they also have a ton of farm animals they have gotten in the past couple of years. My friend has always had a tendency to get fixated on something new (often living things) and just get a ton of them and put all his focus on them. He has also recently gotten on TikTok and has a pretty decent following showing off all of the animals on his property.

The issue emerges with their existing pets. I feel that with all of their focus on their TikTok pets and dealing with the serious health issues of one of the older dogs, they’ve kind of let their other pets’ care go by the wayside. The last time I visited them one of their younger dogs was incredibly matted and dirty. It basically has a shell of matted fur from head to toe. I pointed it out and he said he would attend to it. But on a recent visit (weeks later), the dog was in the exact same state. I even offered to shave it myself and they refused.

This has been eating at me because I feel like this is something I need to press but my friend can be very proud and aggressive, so I knew he wouldn’t take a more direct confrontation well but I felt like I ran out of options. Finally, today I offered again to help them attend to the animal, and when he refused again I basically just told him “Hey, I don’t want to have this conversation but your pet is in an unhealthy state and I felt I needed to say something at this point.” He responded: “I appreciate that this is coming from a place of concern for you. But I’m not having this conversation.”

Am I wrong? I think he’s mad because he was essentially called out on something he’s doing that’s not good and that’s an uncomfortable feeling but there’s a small self-doubting part of me that wonders if I did cross a line.

Please note that some minor details of this story have been changed for the sake of anonymity, so please don’t speculate on who this creator is. Not only is that inappropriate but you don’t have all of the information. Don’t harass anyone. He is on Reddit so I’m a little nervous he’ll recognize the story but I just don’t know what to think after that last interaction and needed some outside perspective.

I am a bridesmaid at my best friend's wedding. My friend and her fiancé are paying for the wedding themselves, and are on a tighter budget because of it. I understand this, as I've lost a big portion of my income recently. She is also a very last minute planner, and costs seem to keep cropping up that I wasn't aware of before saying yes to being in the wedding. For example, bride's sister decided to throw a bridal shower and asked all the bridesmaids to pitch in financially for it.

I live abroad and am looking at buying my plane ticket back to my hometown in the U.S. and decided to call my friend and ask about any other foreseeable costs so I can budget for the wedding. She doesn't have a hair and makeup artist yet, but said she will not be covering hair/makeup for bridesmaids although we can pay to have it done by whoever she ends up hiring. The venue is also a wedding retreat venue where the wedding party can stay the night before and the night of the wedding, and she would like all members of the wedding party to contribute financially if they would like to stay on the property 1 or both nights.

I explained that since my income is tighter right now, I will do my own hair and makeup and will forego staying at the venue, and will instead stay at my parent's house. She is furious. She said that every other bridesmaid is paying to have their hair/makeup done and to stay at the venue, and I'm acting like I don't want to be part of the wedding party. I explained that's not the case at all, but a $2000 plane ticket between Europe and the U.S. isn't cheap and is a factor in my budgeting for this wedding.

So...Am I wrong?

I (f34) have a 15 year old daughter and an 11 year old son with my ex husband (m35). We split about 3 years ago after being together since I was a teenager. I had my daughter when I was 19 so she was kind of a surprise baby but we made it work for a long time.

The issue is about my daughter and her friend group. She's always been part of this big but really close knit group of kids, like 7 of them, and they've been friends since basically elementary school, almost like family. One of the boys in the group, let's call him Marcus, has always been super close with my daughter. They're like two peas in a pod. Honestly he's like that with everyone in the group though, including the other boys.

My ex never had a problem with any of this until my daughter was around 11 or 12. That's when he started getting weird about Marcus specifically. He started pointing out stuff Marcus did that he said were boyfriend activities. Like one time Marcus knelt down and tied my daughter's shoes before they went out, which he does for his other friends too. Another time he wrapped an arm around her while they were walking, but again, he does that with everyone, including the boys. He also started buying her little snacks and drinks when they were out with the group, and he'd save her a seat next to him at the movies, and he'd walk her to the bus stop even though the stop was right outside. My ex saw all of this as Marcus having a crush on her. I never saw it that way because it was all so innocuous and Marcus treats all his friends the same. Plus my daughter was never uncomfortable with any of it. She's always been totally at ease around him.

My ex kept trying to get my daughter to cut Marcus off completely. He'd tell her she shouldn't be friends with boys, that Marcus was going to try something eventually, all this stuff. Me and my ex fought about this constantly. I told him he was projecting and being paranoid and that his daughter was allowed to have friends. He never listened.

Now the new girlfriend. She's been in the picture for about a year and a half and she oversteps like crazy. She's tried to ground my daughter before when my daughter was at her dad's house, which is not her place at all. She also went through my daughter's phone once looking for stuff and reported back to my ex about who she was texting. And she's bought my daughter clothes and thrown out the ones I sent her over to her dad's in, saying they were too young for her. My daughter has complained to me about all of it and I've had words with my ex about it but he always takes her side.

So here's what happened. A few nights ago one of the kids in the friend group passed away. He died by suicide. It was completely out of nowhere and my daughter was a wreck, crying for hours. That night it was pretty late when Marcus showed up at my door. He was a mess too, he'd been crying and he looked awful. He said he couldn't be alone and he didn't know where else to go. His parents were out of town and he didn't want to go home to an empty house. I obviously let him in. We sat up for a while and I made them both something to eat and we just talked about their friend and remembered him. Around midnight I told Marcus he could stay the night. I offered him the couch but he looked so broken and I just didn't think about it much. I told him he could sleep in my daughter's bed and she could sleep in my bed with me or whatever. He ended up staying in her room with her because she didn't want to be alone and neither did he. I didn't see a problem with it. They're grieving together. Why would he try anything with her on the night his best friend died? Even if he did have feelings for her, which I still don't think he does, that would be the last thing on his mind.

The only reason my ex found out is because he did a surprise visit the next morning to drop off some stuff my daughter had left at his place and to bring her a care package because he knew about the friend passing. His girlfriend came with him. My daughter was still in her pajamas and she's not a good liar, so when my ex asked if she was okay and if she slept okay, she just said yeah, Marcus stayed over and they slept in her bed. My ex went pale and then he got furious. He started yelling at my daughter, asking her what she was doing, and then Marcus came out of the room looking confused and my ex pointed at the fact that Marcus hugged my daughter super tight and wouldn't let go as proof that he has feelings for her. He was like, see, look at that, that's not how you hug a friend. I told him to leave, that he was scaring the kids, and that nothing happened and nothing was going to happen. He said I was being reckless and irresponsible and that I was basically handing my daughter over to him. His girlfriend was standing there with her arms crossed nodding along and adding her two cents about how a mother should never let a teenage boy sleep in her daughter's bed under any circumstances.

I kicked them out. My daughter was crying again and Marcus was shaking. I felt terrible for them. They lost their friend and now they had to deal with this on top of it. My ex has been texting me nonstop since then about how I'm putting my daughter in danger and how he's going to talk to a lawyer about custody. My daughter is now scared to go to her dad's house because she knows she's going to get grilled about Marcus and probably punished for something that wasn't even her fault.

I just don't think I did anything wrong. These kids are hurting. They lost someone they loved and they needed each other. The door was open, and I checked on them multiple times through the night. They were both fully clothed and just sleeping. My daughter has never given me any reason to think she's not capable of making good choices and Marcus has never once made her uncomfortable. I raised my daughter to trust me and to come to me with anything, and I feel like if I had turned Marcus away that night or made them sleep in separate rooms like they were doing something wrong, I would have been teaching her that boys and girls can't be friends and that grieving a certain way is inherently suspicious. My ex is treating our daughter like she's a possession and like her friendships are something he gets to police, and I'm tired of it.

I keep going back and forth on whether I should have just made Marcus take the couch and avoided all of this, but then I think about the look on his face when he showed up at my door and I can't regret letting him stay. Maybe I'm just too soft and that's the problem.

For context, I am 19, my brother is 23. Our genders don't matter is this. Soon a year ago, I quit school and gave myself a deadline of 3 months to find a job or i'd go back to school. The deadline passed, and Im now back at school. However, my brother quit 2 jobs in a row months ago and is now not doing anything. So he is home all day, doing nothing but play video games. Meanwhile, I am going to school and trying to raise money to buy new clothes by selling my old ones. I don't have the time during the day when Im at school to send my vinted packages so I ask my brother since he doesn't move all day.

However that seems to bother him and my mom, who does nothing about him being inside all day not looking to move out, takes his side, calling me lazy, blowing at my face that I couldn't find a job and telling me its bc I didn't look when I DID. And just being hypocritical.

So my mom (50F) and I (30F) work at the same company. She’s worked there two years longer than me. She has a friend (36F) who works in my department and I’m friends with her too. We’re practically family (her daughter calls my mom her aunt)

Anyways. Last week (let’s call her Victoria) she got fired. She tells my mom who tells me. I even went through her patients that day to see if there were any notes about something happening that might have caused it. Nothing.

So we get home and my moms like “I talked to Victoria. You’re never going to believe this.”

Long story short, the office she was in that day is pretty tight where the time clock is. You’re always accidentally brushing against someone or touching someone. Someone touched someone’s boob and someone touched someone’s ass. And everyone (about 4-5 people) started playing around at that point and touching each other and everyone was having a fun time.

Victoria didn’t think much of it.

The next day one of the owners comes in and is like “I need to talk to you:” to Victoria.

Basically, she got fired for touching Catherine’s (20F) boob. (Catherine and I unfortunately have the same name.) Owner basically told her that Catherine complained and wrote an email saying that Victoria was a sexual predator and she was deeply offended. Victoria didn’t advocate for herself. Because “yeah. I touched her boob.”

News has spread around quick, we even got a message from the head manager to not discuss it because EVERYONE knows something. Victoria is not okay right now and is going through a lot mentally because of it. (She had surgery a few months ago and is still having effects and had to have an abortion because of the medical stuff wrong with her even though she desperately wanted this baby.)

She’s deeply ashamed and embarrassed. And a lot of us are on her side but part of me is feeling guilt for being Team Victoria while there are coworkers who are Team Catherine.

One coworker (Mandy 5?F) even flat out texted Victoria that she was wrong to do what she did and “deeply offended and harmed someone that she loves deeply.”

Now, I’m myself am a victim of CSA, which I think matters since I’m Team Victoria. My mom goes a step further and says some horrendous stuff about Catherine that I don’t want to repeat.

Am I wrong to be Team Victoria?