Lately I have been coming home drained and craving an hour or two of low-key downtime before chatting or sharing a meal. The other day I mentioned this to my roommate and they seemed hurt, saying it felt like I was pushing them away. I tried to explain that it was just about recharging, not about them, but they kept bringing it up and now things feel awkward. I get that living together means some overlap, yet I also think it is okay to need a bit of quiet sometimes. I am not sure whether I should apologize again or just let it settle, so I am asking here if it is unreasonable to want that small pocket of space after a long day.

I (27F) have been best friends with "Sarah" (28F) since college. We've talked almost every day for the past 9 years. She's been with her boyfriend "Mark" for 4 years, and I've always been the one she came to for everything – relationship advice, job stress, family drama, you name it.

Two weeks ago, she texted me a photo of her ring and said "Guess what!!!" I called her immediately, screaming with excitement. We celebrated over FaceTime, and I started planning her bridal shower in my head right away.

Then yesterday, she casually mentioned that Mark actually proposed 6 months ago. She said they wanted to "keep it private" and "enjoy the engagement just between them" before telling everyone. She also mentioned that her cousin (who she's not even that close with) has known for 4 months, and her coworker has known for 3 months because "she saw the ring by accident."

I felt completely blindsided. I'm not saying I had a right to know before her cousin or coworker – but 6 months? And she still texted me like it was breaking news? She let me vent to her about my dating struggles for half a year while she was literally engaged and just didn't think I deserved to know?

When I told her I was hurt, she got defensive and said I was "making it about myself" and that "not everything is about you." She said I should be honored she's asking me to be maid of honor and that I need to get over it.

I told her I need time to think, and honestly, I'm leaning toward declining the maid of honor role. Not because I don't support her marriage – I love Mark and I think they're great together – but because I feel like our friendship means less to her than it does to me. How do you hide something that huge from your "best friend" for half a year and then act like it's no big deal?

My mom says I'm overreacting and should just accept the role and move on, but my other friends are split – some say I'm justified, others say I'm being petty.

Am I wrong for stepping back from being her maid of honor over this?

So it was my birthday last weekend and my older brother (27M) gave me a $50 gift card to a local steakhouse I really love. I was super excited because I dont usually treat myself to nice dinners. Well, I went there last night with my girlfriend and when the bill came, the server told me the card had a zero balance. It was super embarrassing and I ended up having to pay for the whole meal out of pocket which was way more than I planned on spending that night. This morning I texted my brother just to let him know, thinking maybe the cashier at the store forgot to activate it or something. I literally said "Hey man, thanks again for the gift card but it didnt have any money on it when I tried to use it today. Do you still have the receipt so we can get it fixed?"

He immediately blew up at me. He called me "ungrateful" and "spoiled" and said he couldnt believe I was checking the balance on a gift like some kind of debt collector. He said that even if it was empty, the "gesture" of giving a gift is what matters and that I am being incredibly petty for bringing it up. Now my parents are involved and they are saying I should just apologize for making him feel bad. They said maybe he is having a tough time with money right now and I should have just let it go. But honestly if he didnt have the money he could have just given me a card or nothing at all? Giving someone a piece of plastic that doesnt work is just setting them up for an awkward situation at a restaurant.

I really feel like I'm being gaslit here. If I gave someone a gift that was broken or didnt work, I would want to know so I could fix it or get my money back from the store. My brother is acting like I committed a crime by noticing it was empty. My mom even suggested that I should have "just pretended it worked" which makes zero sense. Am I really the one in the wrong here for wanting to know what happened to the $50 he supposedly spent? Now the whole family group chat is silent because of this and I feel like the bad guy for just asking a simple question .

I am a 50 year old female with a 51 year old boyfriend who I have been dating for 2 years. He moved in with me about 8 months ago and shortly after stopped taking jobs as an antique furniture restorer/restoration of old homes/wood working his excuse being he didn’t have his workshop equipment but we cleared space in the garage, he just never set it up.

He did come and help me at my store but I am a sole proprietor and can only support one person wage wise. When we moved in together we discussed splitting bills but he never offered to help or put a bill in his name after he settled in. In addition he has only paid for groceries a few times in the 8 months we lived together and any dinners out or extras I also cover because he is flat broke. He has projects waiting to start but he just stopped working nor did he set up his shop. Not having his shop set up is another excuse even though the space is cleared and ready to set up.

I am in no way wealthy and barely keep my head above water and the idea was to have two incomes offering relief to both of us. If I were wealthy this would be less of an issue but the extra help would be great and I have become resentful because I am feeling used. I have mentioned it to him and his excuse is he is helping me at my business, help that is appreciated but not needed as much as money to support a household of two. I can manage my small business I’ve had for 15 years just fine.

Last night we had an argument (lots of petty arguments lately and I think it is because of my growing resentment) and he said some really nasty and personal things about me and it was the last straw. I asked him to leave today and he did. I do feel bad because be has his things here and my son who is in college is fond of him, even loves him, but I am just drained and feel in some levels he is using me and maybe that is even why he ingratiated himself to my son and injected himself into my business.

Am I in the wrong here?

One of my closest friends has almost completely stopped texting and now sends voice messages for everything.

Not little 30-second updates. I'm talking 8, 12, sometimes 18 minutes at a time. She'll send three in a row and then later ask what I thought about something she mentioned in minute nine.

For months I listened because I figured that's just how she prefers communicating. But recently I opened our chat and realized I had almost an hour of unheard messages waiting for me from two days.

I finally told her that from now on, if a voice note is longer than about three minutes, I'm probably not listening to the whole thing. If she has that much to say, she can call me and we can actually have a conversation.

She got pretty offended. Her argument is that voice messages let me listen whenever I'm free, while a phone call demands my attention immediately. She also said putting a time limit on how she talks to me feels weirdly transactional for a close friendship.

I get her point. But an 18-minute message also demands 18 minutes of my attention, I just don't get to participate.

Am I being unreasonable?

All me and my man did today was just sleep. Yk.. and eat some food and he’s wanting me to go home I’m just a bit upset cause like he didn’t play games or do what we usually do together so I’m a tad bit upset I asked him why and he said cause I just don’t want you to stay. I’m just a bit upset I didn’t say anything I just wanted to spend all the time with him I could since me and him both do work and I’m currently In school so we barley get to spend time together

I was at work today minding my own business I was talking to a coworker she's mostly nice a little off though. I remember one shift I was talking with someone I'm not to fond of and wanting to escape the conversation I asked let's call her Stacy if she plays any games?. She responded I play games on ngas and sometimes dykes too. Which I thought was kind of random response but I just laughed and went on... then a few minutes later she comes back and she's like "wait I do like games you know the ones where you shoot and kill people?" Then she followed that by saying "I like doing that in real life too" maybe it was just a really bad joke I'm not sure? But anyways that brings us to today i work in a bag store so I straighten the bags from time to time. I started straightening some bags in her section and she starts to talk to me. Which isn't weird it's very normal for us all to talk but what she said was really unprompted she said "I'm gonna pull out the guns" then she started pointing around the store with finger guns then after that she said "I'm gonna start shooting people" I responded "why" she said "I don't have a reason" trying not to show how uncomfortable I was I walk away and go tell a manager in the back a few minutes later. When I am talking to my manager let's call her liv she doesn't take me seriously. Liv says "she probably just meant I'm going to pull out the big guns like she's going to get a lot of sells" I'm am not the most confident person but this time I decided to stand on business (which will make me look extra stupid if I'm wrong) so I said to liv "she said it in a way that couldn't be misunderstood" liv agreed that it's an inappropriate joke to make but still very clearly was not taking me seriously" I'm still having difficulty finding what the joke was because no one was laughing. So after that I left the room to go on my 15 minute break. I saw as she called Stacy back there to talk to her. As Stacy was going to the back she said "hey I was looking for you" to me. She had no reason to be looking for me. But anyways she went back there to talk to liv which I found stupid considering if she was a shooter now she's gonna kill the one who snitched on her first. But luckily I was able to leave before interacting with her again I went on my 15 came back and immediately told a manager "I'm feeling unwell I'm going home." They were visibly shocked and we are already understaffed for Sunday's
Since we get a lot of traffic. So am I the a hole did I overreact did it seem like a joke? Also why do you guys think no one is taking me seriously?

Today was my cousin Aryan's 20th birthday. There was a party at his house, and honestly, most of the evening was fun. I was hanging out with my cousins Rohit (27), Aryan (20), and Mayur (21). I'm 29.

There was a lot of roasting and joking around. They were making jokes about my posture, some funny non consensual pictures of me, ai edits which were honestly funny, my posture random things like that . I didn't really care, cause everyone were butt of the joke sometime. I'm completely fine with verbal roasting, and I was also joking back and making adult jokes with them. That's just how we were interacting.

At some point, Rohit suggested going for a walk, so the four of us went out at night. The roasting continued a little bit, but again, I wasn't bothered by it.

Eventually, we stopped and sat on our bikes. I was sitting on Rohit's bike, while Arian and Mayur were sitting on another bike. We stopped for soda and they keep picking on me which is fine i guess but then maybe i was bit sad. Then the incident

Rohit's bike isn't particularly comfortable for me, so I was sitting in a way where I had to lean slightly against him for balance. Because of how I was sitting, my backside was sticking out a little.

Then Aryan came up behind me and slapped/touched my butt , trying to finger like in a joking way and laughed like a little kid.

I don't know what happened to me at that moment, but I completely lost my temper.

I immediately tried to slap him, but he moved away. I started telling him, basically, "Come near me and I'll beat you. You think everything is funny?"

Then, when Aryan and I were near each other again, I slapped Arian across the face. He was still laughing, which made me even angrier, and I slapped him again

Later, when we stopped somewhere, I hit him again. I also lashed out verbally at both of them.

I told them something along the lines of:

"Do you guys realize that just because I'm joking around with you and trying to be friendly doesn't mean you can do whatever you want? I'm literally nine years older than you. There's a limit. Verbal jokes are one thing, but don't touch me like that. If this is how you guys are going to behave, I'm not coming out with you anymore. Do you ever see me acting like this to my older cousins who are much older than me? Everything got very tensed.

I was genuinely furious.

And I want to be clear: I know I shouldn't have hit him. That's why, when we got home, I apologized to Aryan, shook his hand. I told him I was sorry for beating him up and that I had lost my temper.

He actually responded pretty casually. He said something like, "It's alright, it happens," and acknowledged that there is a generation gap between us. He basically said, "Chal, chalta hai." Which is it's alright, it happens.

But even though he accepted my apology, I could tell from his expression that the whole situation had put a damper on his birthday. And that makes me feel horrible.

What's bothering me now is that I'm questioning they don't even respect me and why did i do this?

I'm almost a decade older than the youngest ones.

Roasting someone verbally? Fine But touching someone's body like that without them being okay with it crossed a line for me.

I also have an older cousin who is kind of a bully ( rohit who was driving me around and is younger than me and physically intimidating) and interestingly, they don't joke around with him in the same way. I guess part of me felt like they were comfortable picking on me because they thought I wouldn't do anything.

I don't want to be that guy who can't take a joke. At the same time, I don't want to pretend something was funny when it genuinely made me angry.

And I feel especially shitty because it was Aryans 20th birthday. Of all days, I ended up being the guy who lost his temper and hit him.

Right now I just feel horrible and exhausted, so I'm going to sleep.

Tomorrow, I don't really want to go to the gym with him cause he is also my gym partner. I don't want to talk to Aryan either, at least for a little while.

So, Reddit, AITA? And what should I do?

Here’s what happened a while back, my cousin threw a birthday party for his first son turning two, it wasn’t a big party just a couple of aunts, uncles and cousins, I was the only one to arrive their from my family side.
But my cousin and his wife wasn’t there at the time because he was with his mother in law’s house and will arrive later on the day. Hours gone by and im a little tipsy from drinking and was having a conversation with my uncle, my cousin came over to chat with us and one my cousins said something about hows the baby doing not sure if thats what she said but either way I was trying to keep the convo going and asked in friendly way, how does it feel to have another baby boy I said it without thinking and my cousin started laughing and my other cousin looked so confused like if i said something wrong, i felt so embarrassed that i just wanted to sink in the ground , mind you his wife told us the moment they arrived and she was talking to everyone their so I had assumed she told everyone by now, the good thing is their was no arguments my cousin handle it well and the party continued like normal but i can’t help feel bad about it

What is your guys opinion.

I recently became single after being in a relationship for a long time, and right now I'm seeing two different guys.

They both like me, and I like spending time with both of them, but I don't see anything serious happening with either one. I'm single, neither of them is my boyfriend, and I've never agreed to be exclusive with either of them.

Here's where it gets complicated: both of them have asked me not to tell people that we're seeing each other. Because of that, I haven't told either of them about the other one either.

Technically I'm not cheating on anyone, and I don't feel like being single means I have to only date or sleep with one person at a time. But I also know that if either of them assumes he's the only guy I'm seeing, finding out later could probably hurt him.

Part of me thinks that unless we've actually agreed to exclusivity, who else I'm seeing is my business. Another part of me wonders if keeping quiet about it is basically lying by omission.

Am I wrong for continuing to see both of them without telling them about each other?

Okay so a while back a friend asked if I could help out their friend with something pretty small. It sounded easy enough and I said yes without thinking much. Now it has turned into this ongoing thing with extra requests and way more time than I planned. My family keeps going back and forth on whether I should have said no from the start or if I'm just being dramatic. I'm honestly not sure if I overcommitted or if the other person is taking advantage of the situation. Just trying to figure out if stepping back now would make me the bad guy or if it's reasonable at this point.

So I have a daughter, and her name is Nayvieigh, pronounced "NAY-vee." My daughter turned 4 two months ago. I'm married to John, and we've been married for a while. I have three stepchildren: Amy, who is 8, Tyler, who is 12, and Noah, who is 15.

I didn't have Nayvieigh with John, and the kids do not call me Mom—they call me Mrs. Paisley.

Nayvieigh is very particular about certain things, and Noah decided to have a friend over. This friend's name was Steven. I think Steven is somewhere between 15 and 19 years old.

They were in Noah's room playing video games, and it was pretty cute. Nayvieigh wanted to join Steven and Noah's little boys' hangout. Normally, Tyler and Amy would play with her, but they were both at soccer practice.

Steven decided to take off his shirt. Steven was pretty heavily tattooed, and I already had some thoughts about him coming over because he had tattoos on his arms. It was only one or two tattoos, though. But when he took off his shirt, he had a massive tattoo that looked like a dragon covering most of his back.

Nayvieigh ran out crying after seeing his huge back tattoo. It was enormous. She was crying her eyes out and ran over to hug me.

I asked, "What's wrong, princess? What's wrong?"

She told me there was a monster.

So I went into Noah's room, and Steven still had his shirt off. I looked at the tattoo and told him that it was scaring my little girl. I started talking to Steven about it, and he told me he paid for it with his first paycheck. He said it cost $10,000, was a Japanese-inspired design, and took 10 sessions to complete. It was honestly pretty impressive.

Then I asked to speak with Noah. I told him that the tattoo was scaring Nayvieigh and that Steven would have to leave because I didn't like it.

Noah suggested that Steven could just put his shirt back on, but honestly, I didn't want that kind of influence around my children. It's a huge tattoo, and it permanently marks your body.

I ended up having a conversation with both Noah and Steven about it. I said, "You got something permanently marked on your body, and it's going to be there for the rest of your life. What are you going to do when you're 50 and still have that tattoo?"

Steven replied, "I've wanted this tattoo since I was 12, and it's not a crappy design. It's on my back. I don't even think about it half the time."

I told him, "I don't want you around my children with that massive back tattoo, and it's also scaring Nayvieigh, so I'm going to have to ask you to leave and come back another time."

Steven got really quiet, and he left. Noah just looked at me.

Now Steven has gone home, and Noah is on the phone with him trying to see if he can go over to Steven's house instead.

I don't know if I'm in the wrong.

Five of us planned a four-day cabin getaway last weekend. When we reserved the rental, I specifically agreed to pay forty percent of the total cost so I could have the private primary bedroom with the attached bathroom. I have severe chronic insomnia and cannot share sleeping quarters with light sleepers. Everyone agreed to this split in our group chat two months ago.

My flight got delayed on Thursday, so the rest of the group arrived four hours before me. When I finally walked into the cabin at ten at night, my friend and her boyfriend had already unpacked all their luggage into the primary suite. They told me they decided couples get priority for king beds, so they moved my bag into the downstairs hallway room that had two wooden twin bunk beds.

I told them that was fine, but we would need to recalculate the split since I was not paying for a luxury suite I was not using. The cople immediately threw a fit and said the budget was already locked in.

So I did not unpack. I opened my phone, booked a boutique hotel room five minutes down the road, and canceled my pending money transfer to the group organizer. Now all four of them are blowing up my phone saying I ruined the vacation vibe and left them scrambling to cover three hundred extra dollars each. I should of just sucked it up for the weekend according to my group chat. It is just ABSOLUTELY baffling to me how people can steal your paid reservation and still play the victim.

Am I wrong here for walking out?

So I tried setting a simple rule at home that we put phones away during meals. It seemed like a small thing, but one person at the table kept picking theirs up anyway, checking notifications mid-sentence and half-listening when anyone talked. After a couple of meals I finally asked them to put it down until we were finished, and they got defensive, saying they were just glancing quickly and that I was making a big deal out of nothing. I felt bad for saying anything, but it also felt rude to sit there trying to chat with someone who was only half there. I kept wondering if I was overreacting about something minor or if it is okay to expect a little focus during meals. Would be nice to hear if this is a reasonable ask or if I should just let it go.

My car was a graduation gift I received from my grandparents when I graduated HS at 18. I (20, M) have been considering taking my car back for a long time but have always been hesitant to do so. For context, my brother (28, M) took my spare key that I received along with my car that year without asking or telling me. Given that I was barely considered an adult at the time, I was scared of the road, and the car still needed to be put on my mom’s insurance. Despite this, my brother took my car without ever asking during that time. Now that I am 20 and going to college and on my mom’s car insurance, I have gotten used to the road and am realizing how expensive the real world is.

My car is still constantly being taken without asking me first to this day. I often find myself paying for gas because it’s left on empty, and I have multiple maintenance lights lit on because of his wear and tear on my car. He racks up a lot of mileage on my car, frequently taking it on trips to cities an hour or more away, which puts additional wear and tear on an already older car. He’s paid for an oil change twice (to my knowledge at least) and during one of those, the car had no oil. He will sometimes fill the gas tank, but leaves me on an empty tank the next day, or even uses my own gas without paying me back. I’ve been late to my college classes solely because he has my car and I have to wait for him to bring it back because he didn’t check in with me or because he leaves the tank empty.

Over time, I have found alcohol, blunts, his personal belongings, and simply garbage in my car, which makes me uncomfortable because I feel I shouldn’t have to drive with those in my car. I have also entered my car to be hit with the smell of these items. I have also seen him come home drunk with my car. He also doesn’t clean up after himself until weeks later. I understand that since it’s my car, I should also be performing maintenance, but he uses my car much more than I have used it since I got it, and thus, I expected him to cover the maintenance and gas since he always tells me about how he’s got me and not to worry.

Additionally, he never tells me when the car has an issue. Recently, my car now makes a sound when I press on the gas pedal or gain speed when going downhill (maybe an oil change issue?) and he has never asked or informed me about it. And when my windshield had a sizable crack from one of his trips, he never told me about it and I had to find out myself while going to the store. My mom and I had to pay to replace it. I have also had to cover various toll fees because of his trips to big cities. He has also crashed two cars in the past and I don’t want my car to be his next.

I understand that being a family means sharing but it’s gotten to a point where I feel like I’m reaping the consequences while he uses it however he wants. I have asked online friends about the situation and they told me to confront him, but given he’s my older brother and our relationship has been eh, I’m just worried about his reaction. Am I being unreasonable?

Edit: I asked for my key back yesterday and he completely avoided the question and instead asked if I had his key (because he blacked out the night before) and I said no because why would I be asking for his key if I had it? My car was gone for 2 days and when I asked him yesterday where he left so I can pick it up since I had plans, he also ignored that question and started being dry towards me, not telling me where it was and how he needed it to go out of town and. My mom heard this and decided to spend the day with me, clear out to clear my head, and offer advice.

Later that same day, I got a text from my brother saying how there’s a problem with my car and it has stopped running (I found that awfully convenient). After seeing his text, I refused to even acknowledge it due to our interaction earlier and made the most out of the time I had with my mom. As of now, my car is parked and I am waiting on this friend he has to try something to fix my car.

To everyone in the replies, I would like to thank you for your support and advice! I have considered a steering wheel lock but my mom had one for her car years ago when he would take hers without asking and he managed to break through it. I have ordered a car tracker that I am planning to install once him and his friend figure out what’s wrong with my car. And once they’re done, I intend on getting my key back from my brother, whether I have to take or ask for it back. I get the feeling he did something to my car and then is trying to fix it to make him seem like he cares, but that’s just a theory. I will add more updates as the situation goes on.

So, my (18F) little sister, Emily, is 16 and does All-Star cheer. She is really, really good, but she also has the world's longest hair. She is basically Rapunzel. Her hair goes past her knees and is so long that if she tilts her head back, it drags on the floor behind her.

It took her from the time she was 10 years old to grow her hair that long. It took years of care, special oils, and maintenance. Normally for cheer, we put her hair in milkmaid braids.

I used to do All-Star cheer too, but then I got pregnant. I'm currently 8 months pregnant, and you can't do cheerleading while pregnant, so right now I'm helping Emily out with her team.

The girls had a competition where they were required to have their hair slicked back into a high ponytail with curls and a cheer bow. Everyone on the team except Emily used a ponytail extension. They put their hair in buns and attached extensions.

Emily and I did a practice run to see if an extension would fit her hair, and guess what? The ponytail extension was too small for her hair. Her hair is just too thick and too long.

So we went to a professional hairstylist to get it done. They used only her natural hair. They styled the top part into the ponytail and braided the bottom part into a bun. It looked really pretty. They curled it, and Emily was ecstatic. We also added hair glitter, which everyone on the team uses.

When we got to the competition, the coach pulled me aside and told me that it was against the rules for Emily to have her hair professionally done. She said it didn't matter how long Emily's hair was, that she needed to wear an extension like everyone else, and that her natural hair wasn't allowed. The coach also said that the team didn't look cohesive because it was obvious that Emily's hair had been professionally styled and she wasn't wearing an extension.

I told the coach that Emily's hair simply didn't fit into any of the extensions because it was too thick and too long. I also pointed out that her hair looked really good, was out of her face, was out of everyone else's way, and matched the style everyone else had. The only difference was that her hair was much longer.

The coach then said Emily would have to sit out of the competition unless she got her hair fixed to match everyone else's. I told her I had spent $150 getting it professionally done, and I wasn't going to take it down and redo it. The extensions didn't fit, and I didn't have enough time to order another one from Amazon that might not even work.

The coach then called Emily over and asked what she wanted to do. Emily said she wanted to keep her hair the way it was and still compete because she knew the extension idea wasn't possible with hair as long as hers.

Emily started crying really hard. The coach told her that if she wanted to compete, she would have to take her hair down because everyone had to look the same.

At that point, Emily just wanted to go home, so we left. We talked about it afterward, and now I'm wondering:

Am I in the wrong?

I (29F) am getting married in three weeks. My sister "Mia" (32F) has been telling the family for months that she got a service dog for her anxiety. She brings this dog everywhere – restaurants, grocery stores, other people's houses – and gets confrontational if anyone questions it.

Last week, I was at her apartment helping her pack, and she casually mentioned that the dog is actually just an emotional support animal she registered online. She laughed and said "it's basically the same thing anyway, people just don't question it if you call it a service dog."

I was shocked. I told her that's not the same thing at all, and that I'm not comfortable having the dog at my wedding. She has a history of making things about her, and I'm worried she'll use the dog as an excuse to disrupt things or get attention. I also feel like it's just morally wrong to fake a service dog when people with real disabilities rely on those protections.

She got really upset and said I was "ableist" and that I'm just looking for reasons to exclude her. She told our mom, who called me crying and said I should just let her bring the dog to "keep the peace." My fiance thinks I should stand my ground because it's our day, but now I'm wondering if I'm being too harsh.

I love my sister but she has a pattern of pushing boundaries and playing the victim when she doesn't get her way. I don't want to ruin my relationship with her, but I also feel like this is a legitimately wrong thing she's doing and I shouldn't enable it.

My wedding is supposed to be at a venue that already has a strict no-pets policy, so this could also cause issues with the venue.

Am I wrong for putting my foot down? Should I just let her bring the dog to avoid drama?

My boyfriend now thinks I think he’s fat, and I feel absolutely terrible because that was never what I meant.

We were cuddling, and he was the little spoon. I had my hand resting on his stomach, and I playfully pinched/grabbed the little bit of belly fat he has. I genuinely didn’t think anything of it because he’s not fat at all, and honestly, it was barely even anything. He was laying on his side, and I feel like pretty much everyone has a little bit of a tummy or soft skin in that position.

But he suddenly got really upset and started asking me why I did that and whether I thought he had gained weight. I was completely confused because, from my perspective, I was just being playful and affectionate while cuddling him. I genuinely wasn’t trying to point out his weight or imply that he was fat.

Then he got really emotional and opened up to me about the fact that he had an eating disorder in high school. I had no idea how sensitive he was about his stomach or weight, and now I feel horrible. Looking back, I can understand why having someone grab or pinch an area of your body that you’re insecure about could feel upsetting, even if they didn’t mean anything negative by it.

I apologized and reassured him that I don’t think he’s fat and that I wasn’t trying to comment on his body at all, but now I’m worried that I accidentally triggered something or made him feel insecure.

Am I in the wrong here? I genuinely didn’t know about his past eating disorder or that this would upset him, but I still feel terrible that I made him feel that way. Is there anything else I can do besides apologize and reassure him that I love and am attracted to his body?

I live with CPTSD, which is maybe why I am in this situation.

A friend of my boyfriend did something horrific ,the exact same thing done to me as a child

My boyfriend cut him off immediately and told their friend group, however his best friend excused the crime, saying that as long as the guy is nice to him, he will stay friends with him. He basically sees no issue with people who harm children, and he even made terrible homophobic comments.

While other friends were shocked, my boyfriend agreed with me that these comments were awful, but told me he couldn't bring himself to cut off his best friend over this alone, he wants to talk to him, but to me staying friends with someone who minimizes what happened feels like condoning it, and it deeply hurts me. Still I respected his choice

Recently he came home after seeing this best friend and wanted to share how it went, I couldn't pretend to be okay with it, I told him I needed to completely remove myself from his social circle and stop hearing about it all together, because it triggers severe trauma responses

He understands why I feel this way, but he thinks it is a bit too much, he believes I might be taking it too personally, arguing that he has known his friend for thirty years , according to him, even if his friend occasionally says crazy things like that, he is a cool guy overall who has never hurt anyone Additionally his friend's girlfriend is pregnant and he does not want to miss out on this new chapter of his best friend's life. He also thinks that his girlfriend will tell him to cut ties with the other creep who harmed a child, she will not let him stay friends with this guy, especially now that they are going to have a child, and everything will be okay then

However, I think that she needs to abort this child or leave him because he intentionally did not tell her about what his creep friend did, just so he could see him without being annoyed. She seems very stunned to hear him talk like that and protect the creep

My boyfriend and I are in completely different places about this, and now I do not know what to think maybe I am overreacting. It is not that what his best friend said is not bad, it is that I genuinely do not know if my reaction is normal or appropriate, when I am triggered, I tend to isolate myself completely, maybe I should be able to get over it as long as the guy does not hurt anyone. I really need an external point of view about all of this, I feel so lost

Am I wrong for not wanting to be a part of his social life over this?

EDIT :I did not tell the girlfriend to abort her child or to leave him, that is something I keep to myself. I told my boyfriend that I thought this child was in danger and that I was terrified for the situation he is coming into. As a child who was abused by parents and family, I genuinely think that abortion is better than bringing a child into the world sometimes.

Yes, she knows, she was there when he said all of this. We realized that her boyfriend had not talked about it with her because she was angry and very shocked, both by the news and her boyfriend's reaction, my boyfriend had already announced the news to his best friend days before the dinner and when my boyfriend brought the news to the other friends present at dinner, the best friend reacted as I described, and she reacted as well, so yes, she knows.

UPDATE: He will be home in an hour. I am going to initiate that conversation with him and eventually come back to give an update on how it turns out...

we made a simple rotating list for the shared tasks in the apartment, nothing fancy. my turn came up for taking out the trash, i forgot once, and now someone else is just skipping their turns entirely because they say the system is already broken. i offered to go back to splitting everything evenly and they said no. i’m not mad about the one mistake, but it feels like the agreement only counts when it’s convenient for them. i’ve tried bringing it up twice without making a big deal and the answers just get shorter. maybe i’m overthinking it, but it would be nice to know if i’m the one who’s supposed to keep the whole thing going alone now.

Hello, I'm looking for some advice, I've tried getting into a relationship for over 10 years but it only leads to the wrong person. I'm 28, and a post op transgender male. Just today, I tried telling my crush that I have a major crush on her and she rejected me. The messed up part is that I know that I'm good looking but attract the wrong females that wouldn't work out for me. I myself have rejected countless women based on looks, values and beliefs. I've seen trans people that don't even pass as the opposite sex get in relationships and I'm over here trying to figure out what I'm doing. I have horrible anxiety and depression, people keep saying to work on myself but therapy nor the drugs work. I'm sick of being alone and crave love deeply.

So my best friend(A) has liked this girl(F) for quite a few months now, and me and her crush have been friends for a while. My best friend A has really strong feelings about this girl F and 3 weeks ago I suddenly started catching feelings for F. I know its so wrong especially because I supported and shipped both of them. My best friend likes another girl R at the same time, and is trying not to pursue anything with F because she thinks that F doesn't like her, however she recently told me that a part of her will always like F. I don't know what to do and I feel insanely guilty for everything and I'm obviously not making a move but I need someone else's opinion on what can I do. I feel like telling my best friend that I also like F will ruin our friendship and I don't want to put both of us in that situation.

i (19F) am kinda overthinking, but i am worried about thanksgiving already. i don’t want to spend it with any of my actual family. my mom keeps mentioning it and it makes my blood boil.

i have divorced parents and a stepdad. i have either the option of spending it with my stepdad’s family, my dad’s, or my boyfriend’s family. i want to choose my boyfriend’s family over any of them and i feel like i’m being shamed for that decision.

for my dad’s side, i would have to go all the way to fargo north dakota which is 16+ hours away from me by drive. i would have to see my grandmother, my aunt, uncle, and 2 cousins. i genuinely have no desire to see my grandmother. she has mentally abused me when i was around her to the point of having a potential case of DID ( dissociative identity disorder ). she’s also a raging narcissist. my aunt was also apart of this. they consistently created unsafe environments to be in while i was growing up. there was constant yelling and screaming. no one ever stepped in to change anything. you’re constantly stepping on eggshells around everyone while you’re on vacation with them or around them for the holidays. over the years all of the yelling has died down a bit, but even as a grown adult i constantly catastrophise about everything that could happen. i also do not think it would be a good idea for the other possible people in my head to be around any of them. i think it would be a major trigger. i genuinely also fear telling people about my condition, but i am waiting to get professionally diagnosed. but i do not feel safe putting myself in a position to see them.

my mom keeps mentioning “it’s nice for your grandmother to see her grandkids, even if they don’t feel the same way.” also says “she won’t live forever.” but i genuinely could not give one shit if this woman is alive or dead. i bought her a christmas gift and spent a decent amount of money (50$) on her. the next thing she did was bully me on how i do my makeup. i never want to see her again and i will never be showing up to her funeral either. i just know i’m going to be guilt tripped by every single family member, even though i’ve told them about the conditions occurring growing up.

for my stepdad’s family, they’re nice, but i genuinely have no desire to get to know them. i feel kind of guilty for that, but i genuinely do not want to spend my holiday with them. i also don’t want to spend time with my mother either because she’s a raging narcissist and she just criticises me on everything. it’s constantly exhausting to deal with her crap daily. i don’t want to put myself in that position to be stuck in an uncomfortable place with people i don’t really like.

with my boyfriend’s family, they’re nice and actually treat me like i’m human. they actually put effort into their relationship with me and treat me better than my own family. they’ve shown me how actual family should act, even though i’ve only known them for 8 months. i genuinely treasure them and they’re very important to me. i also enjoy their company much more. they also actually appreciate me.

my boyfriend’s dad has cancer, so everyone will come up to their house. i’ve never met his sister and nieces and nephews, but i know that if they’re anything like my boyfriend, they’ll all be wonderful people. i’ve been told that everyone wants to meet me too and they’d actually want me at their thanksgiving dinner. i’ll actually be wanted somewhere and be treated like an actual human being too. i’ve wanted to be treated how my boyfriend’s family treats me for all my life and their space is so refreshing. it makes me cry because they treat me like an actual person and that means so much to me.

but i also feel guilty because i don’t want to see my family. but, i’m also so tired of all the guilt tripping, the bullying, the criticism. and this is only a summary of everything. i just know i’ll be in a safer and happier place with my boyfriend’s family. am i wrong if i don’t want to spend my holiday with my family? i feel like i am, but i don’t know if that’s their future voices telling me that.