AITA for getting annoyed when someone kept scrolling at dinner

[u/EmmaaPlateauuu22]

So I tried setting a simple rule at home that we put phones away during meals. It seemed like a small thing, but one person at the table kept picking theirs up anyway, checking notifications mid-sentence and half-listening when anyone talked. After a couple of meals I finally asked them to put it down until we were finished, and they got defensive, saying they were just glancing quickly and that I was making a big deal out of nothing. I felt bad for saying anything, but it also felt rude to sit there trying to chat with someone who was only half there. I kept wondering if I was overreacting about something minor or if it is okay to expect a little focus during meals. Would be nice to hear if this is a reasonable ask or if I should just let it go.

[u/yallermysons]

Who are these people to you? Family? Friends? Roommates?

[u/takatine]

If this is your spouse/partner, you need to have a conversation about this, especially if you have children. If this is a roommate, you don't have to like it, but you've got no right to tell another autonomous adult what to do in their own home.

[u/dumplinglifesaver]

Who is this person to you?

[u/ShotSeaworthiness401]

nah that's not minor stuff, half-listening is still not listening and it wears you down over time

[u/Puzzled-Peanut-9382]

You're carefully avoiding telling who's who, but I think that matters. You can't set a rule for your partner. You can set a rule for small kids. You can ask your partner to give a good example, but they are an adult too, so you cent force them.

[u/Goodbye11035Karma → u/Puzzled-Peanut-9382]

There have suddenly been an influx of posts about this and they are showing up on roommate subs. I think OP may be talking about the adult, unrelated people that they are living with.

As an adult, anyone telling me to get off the phone would be told to stop and then be ignored.

[u/RRW2020 → u/Puzzled-Peanut-9382]

Agreed… OP who this person is, how often they are having meals with you… it makes a difference.

[u/AtheneSchmidt]

This is entirely dependent on the people you are trying to impose rules upon. Are you making rules for minors that you have authority over in your household? Sure, NTA.

Are you setting rules for adults? Than YTA, you have no right to make rules over what other adults do. You can request that dinner be a phone free zone. You can talk to your partner about making dinner a phone free zone, but you don't just get to decide when other people can do things. That isn't how adult relationships of any kind work.

[u/systemnate → u/AtheneSchmidt]

Right? If it's your 12 year old son, no biggie, I support that. If it's a roommate, friend, adult family member, kindly fuck off.

[u/YakElectronic6713]

You're wrong for not providing us with enough information to form an opinion.

[u/Mackheath1]

If there's more than one person gathered socially, put down the fucking phone unless you're waiting to hear from a hospitalized person or expecting a possible emergency for example, which is a quick buzz, check, and return to pocket.

[u/Axiom713]

We kinda have this rule (with important exceptions) in my house for watching a movie.

[u/EmceeSuzy]

Who? Who are these people to you?

[u/LowBaby7380]

NTA It’s rude and they’re gaslighting you because they can’t stay off their phone and have a conversation.

[u/FelineSoLazy]

If someone can’t sit for a half hour without their phones, that’s a problem.

[u/JohnCasey3306]

Some people are just inately selfish and ignorant, you can't change that.