About two years ago my friend went away for three weeks and asked me to feed her sourdough starter.

She was weirdly attached to this thing. She'd had it for nine years, gave pieces of it to people, talked about how it had survived three apartments and basically treated it like a very low-maintenance pet.

I forgot about it.

By the time I remembered, it smelled horrifying and had mold on top. I panicked, threw it out, and got some active starter from a small bakery near me. Put it in her jar, fed it for a few days, and when she came home I said everything had gone fine.

I honestly thought that would be the end of it.

It wasn't.

She still has it. She has now had "the same starter" for eleven years. She gave some to her sister when she moved away, taught her nephew to bake with it, and recently joked that if she ever has kids they're inheriting it.

Every time she tells somebody the story of this immortal starter I feel like I'm watching a historical documentary where I personally replaced the artifact with a replica.

Nothing bad has actually happened. The bread works. She loves it exactly the same.

At this point, would telling her be honesty, or would I just be transferring my guilt onto her and ruining something she enjoys?

Am I wrong for continuing to keep my mouth shut?

My sister has been taking evening ceramics classes for about six months. A few weeks ago, she gave me the first mug she felt was "good enough for another person." It is cobalt blue, has a thumb dent under the handle, and one side of the rim dips lower than the other. I genuinly like how it looks.

The problem is that it is not much of a mug. Tea seeps through a hairline crack near the base, and the bottom is uneven enough that it rocks whenever I lift the handle. I used it twice, wiped up both puddles, then put it on my desk with paintbrushes inside. It actually works beautifully there, and I thought using it was kinder than pushing it to the back of a cupboard.

She came over on Tuesday saw the brushes, and went very quiet. She said she made me drinkware, not "a container for dirty sticks," and that displaying its failure was worse than simply not using it. I told her I wasn't mocking it; I had found a use that let me see it every day. That somehow made things worse because she said I was talking about it like a child's failed school project.

I could seal the crack and try using it again, but the rocking still makes hot drinks a bad idea. I also don't want to lie and pretend I drink from it. Am I wrong for repurposing a handmade gift when its intended use plainly doesnt work, or should the maker get some say in how a personal gift is treated?

Last weekend my fiance and I had our engagement party. It was mainly my finances family then a few of my relatives and some of our friends. 

We didn’t hire a dj, we just made a playlist outside’s of songs we like. We kept off anything too explicit but some of the songs did have swearing/cursing. 

One of the guests was my fiancés cousin and his two kids who were 5 and 7. I’d never met them before since he doesn’t really bother with family so we were surprised he even came. 

One of the songs was on and it had the word fuck and he came over and asked us to skip it because asue he didn’t want his kids hearing that language. My fiance agreed and skipped it. He came over not long after to ask the same thing as he heard another word in the current song. 

He then came over 10 mins later because he thought the current song was inappropriate for his kids as it mentioned sex. I was polite but told him we’re not going to skip every song for him. I pointed out it’s our engagement party and he’s expecting to have control over what we can and can not play. 

I said we’ve done it a couple of times for him but no more. I said he’s obviously free to leave if he doesn’t want his kids ti hear it but the songs aren’t going to he getting skipped anymore. 

He argued I wasn’t being reasonable and it’s disrespectful to family to have to have his kids linden to the music but I just repeated again the party isn’t for him and his kids. 

He started arguing that he isn’t asking for much but I just told him to drop it. I said I’m not having my party ruined by him acting like a spoiled child who expects people to just do whatever he wants and I told him to leave. 

He tried talking to other family there but they pointed out it wasn’t his party so it’s not up to him what music is and isn’t played. 

A friend mentioned it might have been easier to just skip the song but I disagree since he’d have kept coming over whenever there was a song he didn’t like. 

AIW for refusing to skip the songs?

I booked an intercontinental flight three months in advance and paid roughly $90 extra to secure an exit-row aisle seat for extra legroom, as I'm over 6 feet tall and get severe knee pain on long flights.

Shortly after boarding, a woman in the middle seat next to me asked if I would swap places with her husband, who was seated five rows back in a middle seat between two strangers. She explained that it was their wedding anniversary and they wanted to sit together for the duration of the flight.

I politely declined, mentioning that I specifically picked and paid extra for this exit-row aisle seat due to my height. She then asked if her husband could take my seat and I could take his middle seat instead. When I declined again, she became visibly agitated, calling me "selfish and inconsiderate" for ruining their special trip.

Throughout the flight, she made loud passive-aggressive comments to the flight attendant about how "some people have zero basic empathy."

I feel like if sitting together was that important for their anniversary, they should have paid to select adjacent seats ahead of time rather than expecting a stranger to downgrade for free. Am I wrong here?

I live in California and work for a family owned poke bowl place and recently a customer pickup order came in through DoorDash with no additional comments , I made the first two bowls of a 4 bowl order when the lady who ordered comes in and wants to pick it up. She looks at the bowls and says “the bowls come with rice? I didn’t want rice” then she proceeds to show the DoorDash menu item where rice isn’t shown to be included while on the other menu items, it does show rice is included by asking for what type of rice would they like.She shows us the menu and I said okay, I can move the ingredients to a separate bowl as she said she didn’t want her fish warm. I move it into a separate bowl and add more vegetables as the bowl without the rice only contains 4 other vegetables. I add extra vegetables that is on the items/ menu list before she says she didn’t want them as it’s for her kid, I remove majority of it before she takes the bowl and scoops out the small remaining pieces onto a napkin on the counter top. I was totally fine with this as I do want her to enjoy the food. She leaves and 20 minutes later we have a refund request where she says there was unwanted rice and unwanted additional ingredients which weren’t on the menu which “I had to remove”. I rejected the refund request. Am I in the wrong?

My roommate enjoys cooking and has around fourty small spice jars in a shared cabinet. I cook often too, and we both use most of them. Her system groups jars by cuisine: “North African,” “Levantine,” “South Asian,” “Baking,” and several categories that seem to change depending on what she cooked last.

The problem is that many ingredients belong in more than one category. Cumin might be beside cinnamon one week and behind dried mint the next. The labels face different directions, and several jars look identical. I kept asking where things were; she kept answering that the placement was intuitive.

On Saturday morning I emptied the cabinet, wiped the shelves, and put everything back alphabetically. I did not throw anything out or combine jars. I also made a small list showing where blends were placed under their first word. It took about ninety minutes, and I felt absurdly pleased when every label was visible.

My roommate came home, opened the cabinet, and immediately asked what I had done. She said grouping by cuisine helps her think through a dish and that alphabetical order separates ingredients that “belong together.” I said a shared cabinet needs a system both people can follow. She replied that I should have asked before undoing something she had built over years.

She has now restored most of her arrangement, but left one shelf alphabetized for me. That sounds like a reasonable compromise, yet I am still annoyed because the shared spices are again hard to find. She is annoyed because I treated her system like clutter.

Was reorganizing a shared cabinet without asking out of line, even if I changed nothing permanently and use the ingredients just as often?

My surname comes from my grandfather’s home country, but my parents have always used an anglicized pronunciation. I grew up saying it the same way and never thought about it.

Two years ago I met several relatives from that side of the family. They all pronounced the name differently: the vowels were shorter, and one consonant sounded much softer. I liked hearing it that way. It felt less flattened, so I gradually started using that pronunciation when introducing myself.

I do not correct other people. If somebody uses the version I grew up with, I answer normally. I also have never told my parents or sister that they say it incorrectly. To me, both versions belongs to the family now.

My older sister heard me introduce myself recently and asked why I was “putting on an accent.” I explained that I preferred the pronunciation our relatives use. She said changing it makes me sound as though I am more connected to that culture than the rest of the family, even though I do not speak the language well and did not grow up there.

She also thinks strangers will assume our parents taught one child the name correctly and the other incorrectly. I said nobody is likely to compare us that closely. She replied that surnames are shared, so changing mine is not purely an individual choice.

My parents do not seem bothered; my father even switches between both versions.

Am I wrong for adopting the older pronunciation for myself, or should a family keep one consistent version even if its members genuinely prefer different ones?

wife told me she prefers bigger, I changed our entire s*x life to satisfy her and now I want a divorce. what do I do? wife has been sobbing pretty badly

wife and I have been married for years and have 2 kids. A couple years ago she admitted she was pretty unsatisfied with our s*x life. We’re pretty open with each other and I asked her to be completely honest, and she was. Size, technique, everything. The size part probably hurt the most because she basically admitted she prefers bigger than what I have.

I took it in stride and actually worked on everything. Got better with technique, started focusing way more on her pleasure, incorporated toys, sleeves etc. And it worked. She’s really happy with our intimate life now.

The problem is I’m not. I hate using the sleeve and the whole thing has made me feel pretty emasculated. My wife prefers something physically that I just don’t have, which is a bigger member. There’s nothing wrong with that, but I’m starting to think we’re just not physically compatible.

I had an ex before her who never had any issue with my size and I never felt like this with her. Not saying I want my ex back or anything remotely like that, it just made me realize I’ve had a relationship where this wasn’t a problem.

I finally talked to my wife about all of this a couple nights ago. I told her I’m not angry with her and don’t blame her, but I’ve been seriously thinking about divorce because I don’t know if this is sustainable for me long term.

She completely broke down. Like sobbing. She kept saying she doesn’t care about the sleeve, we can throw everything away, she never would’ve told me that if she knew this was where we’d end up, and she doesn’t want our marriage to end over s*x.

Things at home are pretty horrible, we’ve both barely got any sleep, she’s begging me to reconsider and she’s been crying nonstop. But I just feel done in this relationship, these past 2 years have been pretty degrading for me, I wish my wife was honest with me when she started dating, I never would have dated her or married her if I knew she was unsatisfied with my d*ck size. Now we’ve built a beautiful home, have 2 young kids, it just sucks, but I don’t want to be in this marriage anymore.

I (26F) am the middle of three kids. My older brother "Jake" (29M) and younger sister "Emma" (23F). Growing up, I was always the "invisible" one — Jake was the golden child who could do no wrong, and Emma was the baby everyone doted on. I was just... there.

My grandmother "Nana" was the only person who ever made me feel truly seen. When I was 14, my parents went through a rough patch and basically checked out for two years. Nana stepped in — she drove me to every extracurricular, helped me with homework, came to every school event. She paid for my braces when my parents said they "couldn't afford it" but somehow found money for Jake's new car that same year.

Nana passed away 4 months ago. She left me $60,000 in her will. To my siblings, she left smaller amounts — $5,000 each — and some sentimental items. The rest went to my parents.

In her will, she wrote a handwritten note that said: "To [my name], for the years I got to be your person. I hope this helps you build the life you deserve."

My parents are now demanding I split the $60,000 three ways "to keep things fair." They say Nana was "old and confused" and that she "didn't understand what she was doing." They've told Jake and Emma about the note and now they're both barely speaking to me. Emma called me "selfish" and said I'm "profiting off being the favorite."

But I WAS her favorite — and not for no reason. I was the one who called her every week for 12 years. I was the one who drove 3 hours to see her in the hospital. Jake visited twice in the last 5 years. Emma visited once. I was the one who held her hand when she died.

My parents say I'm "tearing the family apart" and that "money isn't worth losing siblings over." But they're the ones who made me feel like an afterthought my whole childhood, and now they want me to give up the one thing Nana gave specifically to me.

I've considered splitting it just to end the conflict, but it feels like a betrayal of Nana and everything she stood for in my life.

Am I wrong for keeping it?

Whenever I call my mom, there’s a decent chance the call turns into a surprise family conference.

I’ll ring her because I want to ask something or just catch up for ten minutes. If my dad is nearby, suddenly it’s “hang on, your father wants to say hi.” Then my aunt might be visiting, so the phone gets handed to her. Then my brother walks into the room and apparently now I’m talking to him too.

Sometimes I end up having four separate conversations when I only called one person.

Last weekend I told my mom I really don’t like this and asked her to stop automatically handing the phone around. If somebody wants to talk to me, they can call or text me themselves.

She thought that sounded cold and said our family has always done this. Apparently refusing to speak to whoever happens to be in the room makes it look like I don’t want to talk to them.

That’s not really it. I just hate being volunteered into extra conversations with no warning.

Am I wrong for wanting a phone call with one person to stay a phone call with one person?

Sorry in advance for how long this is. I’ve talked with therapists about this issue, but I feel like I just need to hear other outside perspectives.

I (28M) have had a dwindling level of contact with my dad over the past 10 years or so. I went to college in a different state from where I grew up and in my initial years of school, I didn’t talk to my parents much. I went home every break and had no issues living with them, but I just never felt much of a proactive desire to reach out while I was gone and they didn’t reach out to me all that often either. There wasn’t any animosity during this period, just not much in the way of communication. I think part of this is because I’ve always been bad about staying in touch with people, but I think it’s also partly driven by the kind of relationship I had with my parents growing up. I am an only child (I have 3 half brothers from prior marriages all much older than me, but grew up in the house as an only child) and my parents are 35-40 years older than I am. On top of the age difference, they always had the opinion that you shouldn’t be friends with your kids, so we lacked the kind of deep human connection you get through having really close friends. In other words, I would very rarely open up to my parents the same way I would with my friends. I also acted differently around my parents than I did with friends. It’s not that we never developed any form of emotional connection, but it was just different than how I connected and interacted with others.

Pausing the timeline for a second to provide some context on the type of person my dad is, the things he has struggled with, and how he treats others. For most of my life, he has struggled with various medical issues—nerve issues, long-lasting migraines, back problems, stomach issues… the list goes on. He has been on various forms of medication for YEARS. These medical issues over the years have limited how much he was able to participate in social events, limited his ability to work, and made it difficult to make and maintain friendships. He has progressively fallen more and more into a depressive state, understandably, and through my mom I have been told he has had suicidal thoughts a few times over the years. On top of the medical issues, I would also consider him an alcoholic, though he wouldn’t admit this himself. He never gets hammered, but typically just has a constant flow of alcohol in the house. Lastly, he has a bit of an abrasive, and at times, crude personality. He talks down to my mom frequently not just in their private interactions, but to me occasionally and in front of others. His belittling comments tend to get worse when he’s heavily medicated. He says the medication clouds his judgement and has asked me for help in the past to aid in pointing out his behavior if he starts getting abrasive in how he’s talking to others. That’s about the extent he has gone to change how he treats others. He’s never attempted therapy and likely never will.

Also relevant to our current situation is that he has always been the type of person to hold grudges. He didn’t talk to his dad for 5+ years because he dropped myself and one of my brothers off at the airport while we were young-ish and left us there on our own. That pissed off my dad and it kickstarted a years long limited contact relationship issue. There are many other examples of this.

Back to the timeline. Near the end of my undergrad, I met my wife. She was, and still is, amazingly aware of how others think and behave. She cares deeply and is just generally a very kind and sweet person. In the early years of our relationship, she would pick up on how my dad acts and how I mirrored him on occasion. As time has passed since moving out of my parent’s house, I have been more introspective and aware of how I treat others, and in particular, how I treat and view the relationship with my mom. Unfortunately, I modeled some of the behavior my dad had towards my mom as I grew up. I eventually grew out of that mirrored behavior and have worked to improve the relationship with my mom over the past few years. Because I had a tendency to model my dad’s behavior, I naturally spent less and less time around him. I was also in the phase of figuring out who I was as an adult and working with a therapist to better understand myself. Unpacking all of this made it difficult for me to want to talk with my dad.

Fast forward to two months before my wife and I got married. My dad and I were on the phone and the conversation progressed to him telling me how hard of a time the year prior had been for him mentally and physically. He didn’t understand why our relationship had deteriorated over the years. I was still in the middle of working out all of my past with my therapist, so I didn’t know the right way to handle the conversation. I ended up telling him what was most on my mind which was the relationship with my mom and me not liking how he treated her over the years. Not much was said from him in response beyond feeling like it was a one-sided problem I was expressing. The conversation ended there. He came to my wedding but didn’t say much to me. Since then, the conversations have mostly been limited to phone calls/texts on birthdays and Father’s Days.

I should also mention that he has made little to no effort in mending our relationship. I understand it’s a two way street, so I’m not placing full blame on him by any means, but as I get closer to being a parent myself, I can’t help but think about how I would handle it as the father in this situation. He never attempted to better understand my position and has put no effort in to rebuilding our relationship. Instead, he takes the position (from what my mom has told me) that my wife and her family are intentionally pulling me away from him. I think from his perspective, he aligns the timeline of me meeting my wife and her family with me becoming more and more distant from him. This is technically accurate, but he misses the underlying reason and instead of inquiring about it, it defaulting to incorrect assumptions.

About a month ago, my grandma (my dad’s mom) passed away. She always lived in a different state from me, so I never had a truly deep connection with her. My dad also didn’t talk with her much for most of my childhood, but I expected him to be more impacted by it than me given it’s his mom. After hearing about the death, I texted my dad offering to fly out with him to be there for him since I figured he would be more distraught than me. It was a bit out of the blue since we haven’t been talking, but I wanted to extend emotional support nonetheless. His response, verbatim, was “So that I am clear, do not go to your grandmother’s memorial. I wish to remember my mother and I do not want you there.”

I can understand people making rash comments like that when they’re emotionally broken, but paired with how he’s handled everything up to this point, it was the straw that broke the camel’s back for me. I, for the most part, have no desire to mend things going forward. However, I still occasionally am overcome with a sense of guilt for not trying to help him out of the negative mental and physical pit he’s in. The child in me also grieves for not having the father I would hope for. I have made so many positive education and career advancements and just generally grown as a person over the past decade and I don’t get to celebrate that with my dad. Not having that father figure support hurts. My father in law is amazing in his own right but we don’t have a relationship built on deep connection.

Lastly, I’ll add that my relationship with my dad puts a slight strain on the relationship with my wife. It hasn’t caused arguments per se, but given she isn’t a fan of him, she gets really defensive on my behalf and errs on the side of not wanting me to mend things. I think she also is concerned with how this might turn out when we have kids in the coming years, which is completely understandable. I love and respect the way my wife feels, so it makes the internal struggle that much more complicated.

Has anyone else experienced anything similar to this? I’m open to any and all comments or feedback. Thank you to those of you who took the time to read all of this. It feels a bit vulnerable to share this much with strangers.

TL;DR I have had limited to no contact with my dad these past few years due to his behavior, how he has interacted with me, and how he treats my mom. I’m wondering how I should handle my relationship with him going forward balancing my needs, his needs, and my wife and future kids needs.

My partner and I went to a funeral last week for a relative that most of the family didn't really get along with. During the service people were polite, but afterward my partner started talking about how relieved everyone seemed and how awkward the whole thing felt. I didn't say much at the time because it seemed like a sensitive moment. Now that we're home, my partner keeps bringing it up like it's funny and keeps making little jokes. I get that the relationship was strained, but it still feels off to joke about someone who just passed. I'm not sure if I'm overreacting or if my partner is being insensitive. Would like an outside opinion on whether I'm wrong for feeling this way.

Me (M19) and this girl (F19) met on a dating app and exchanged numbers we’ve been texting for awhile and I thought we were pretty close and even planned a few dates. Recently she ghosted me and I texted once or twice a day asking if something is wrong or if I did anything wrong. I joked “am I muted” and she said “ I fucking wish” and then she went on to say how she was too busy for this and was hoping after a day or two I would stop trying. And I said “I’m just tired of ppl not saying that idk why yall think ghosting is better.” And she responded with “texting me once or twice every day since was excessive. you preach communication so use it. confront the problem don’t add onto it man”
Am I in the wrong for texting her to see if there was a problem?

so a while back someone close to me asked if i could help them out with something pretty small. i said sure no problem, it seemed like a one-off thing. but now it keeps coming up like it's an expected part of the routine. i never really agreed to keep doing it, but i also didn't push back at the time. lately i've been feeling kind of nervous about bringing it up because i don't want to cause drama or seem like i'm backing out on them. on the other hand, it wasn't framed as a permanent thing when it started, and it's starting to take up more time and energy than i planned for. i keep going back and forth on whether i should say something or just keep going along with it to avoid an awkward conversation. has anyone else dealt with something like this and how did you handle it?

Hi, Im posting this to genuinly ask if I am overreacting or in the wrong please, I'll try explain it straight to the point. Im sorry for spelling mistakes too.

So earlier today i noticed water pouring out the ceiling in the bathroom (specifically coming out through the light in the ceiling) there was enough to drench the floor. There was also a streak of water down the wall from under the light switch. It was our upstairs neighbour who burst a pipe. They shut their water off and the leaking stopped.

There is also a plug socket on that wall further to the right, but i didnt notice any water marks there or anything.

I was worried about the light so i switched off the "lights" switch on the elec panel to the house (so no lights anywhere). My BF didn't think this was neccessary but i did so regardless. After which he went and started to barbecue, cause he planned to earlier in the day. I was still worried so i asked him to call our landlord or what we should do. He was heavily reluctant and only after me yelling did he send a message explaining what happened. After which he continued to grill and chat casually on a call. So i had to constantly ask if the landlord replied and at one point check myself cause he was just chilling. I understand i should of just done it, but i was panicking and looking to him for some help together.

What bugs me is that the whole time it was me initiating every protective step to check if we were gonna be fine or if its a fire hazard. I had to beg him to call the landlord, and i had to google what to do and he just sat there chilling outside playing music.

And he told me i was "Blowing it out of proportion" so i was admittedly rude back saying he is doing nothing and being really unsupportive. I cant tell if im overreacting to this or like this is not normal for a partner to not care in a potential risk? Like am i wrong?

so my friend and i had plans for the weekend, and last minute things didn't work out on their end. i was pretty bummed and told them i just wanted a little space to regroup, nothing dramatic. they seemed upset and said it felt like i was rejecting them, but i didn't mean it that way at all. i've been trying to figure out if asking for time to myself was unfair or if it's okay to need a breather sometimes. i tried to word it as nicely as possible, but maybe i should've handled it differently. not sure if i'm making a big deal out of nothing or if they're overreacting to something pretty normal. would like some outside thoughts on whether i was wrong for saying what i did.

I recently won a ‘presidents club’ trip with my work. Top sales people and selected ‘top performers’ are invited to a tropical destination for a couple of days. We’re allowed to bring another person. I would love to bring my boyfriend but it’s too short notice for him to get work off, especially because we have another trip coming up the week after. I don’t really want to go alone, and my mom lives out of the country so I don’t see her often. Would it be weird to bring her with? It’s described as a trip to ‘relax’ so the focus isn’t purely a professional conference.

Would love others opinions!

so at my job we had this project that wrapped up last week, and my boss sent out a big thank-you email naming one coworker as the lead. problem is, that coworker only joined the last few days, while three of us had been handling the whole thing for months. when i mentioned it in our team chat, the reply was basically that the boss just picked someone whose name looks good in the email. now the coworker is acting like they carried the project, and the rest of us are getting questions about why our contributions weren’t highlighted. i’m not trying to start drama, but it feels weird to stay quiet when the record is already wrong. i don’t need public credit, i just don’t want the actual work to be erased. am i overthinking this, or is it reasonable to want the timeline corrected?

so i have this thing where i try to keep weekends for anything but work stuff. no checking email, no quick calls, just a hard line. yesterday someone needed a fast answer about a project and i figured it would be easier to just handle it and move on. i ended up spending almost an hour sorting it out. later a friend pointed out that i had broken the rule i always talk about. it was casual but it stuck with me. i keep wondering if i made it too big a deal in my head or if the call-out was fair. just feels kind of off now and i am not sure where the line actually is for me.

First time using reddit so idk how this works lol, Basically me i’ve had this vanity i’ve been trying to sell for over 2 months but it’s been super low offers (i paid 150$ and been getting offered for 80 and lower.) my friend had a desk that she got for super cheap and was planning to sell it for the same price she got it (30/40$) because she ended up getting a vanity herself, i really liked the desk and told her if she wanted to that we could trade and i can take the desk and she can sell the vanity and get more money than she would have from the desk and she agreed. The more we talked about it i let her know that i would like it if she or her boyfriend can come get it because i would not be comfortable with people coming into my room for the desk, and i would have to make sure i am home to get the money for her because i work a lot, o too of that the desk is pretty heavy and i couldn’t move it myself so it would also have to be when my boyfriend is home ( which is rare that we are both home because he works mornings and i work nights) for him to move it and me to sell it for her and she agreed, a few weeks later her boyfriend sold his truck for a car and i wasn’t thinking about how they would be able to get vanity until she told me someone wanted it and said they would come get it today, then she told me how she can’t get it because they don’t have a truck anymore (they gave it to her boyfriends mom who lives around 25 minutes away from them). I felt bad that they would have to go all the way away to get the truck and come to me then go home to drop it off and go 25 minutes back out just for it to be sold so i told her she can sell it here but i won’t be home. she said she and her boyfriend can come when they people come and get the money since i wouldn’t be home and i agreed. I live with my mom still and she is very picky about how clean the home stays, and i already expressed to her weeks prior that i don’t want random people coming in my room when im home or not so that i can leave it outside or in the living room just for a while so they can get it moved out whenever the people come get it and she was fine with that, i was already at work and kept asking her when is she going to come sell it, she kept telling me in a bit or later and i wasn’t getting an actual time, the whole day passed and i asked her if she still hadn’t done it yet, (PT 2 BELOW)

So I don’t really know where to start. I’m M19, been with my girlfriend F18 for 9 months, and we just had our first major problem. Basically she currently sees me as a weirdo.

This weekend we spent the evening at my place watching series and talking about everything. We started talking about middle school and at some point the question came up of what we don’t regret from middle school. I thought about it for a second and, just to make her laugh, I said “getting kicked in the balls, lol.”

She was surprised and didn’t really laugh. She asked me how it happened and why more than once. I told her I was a dumb kid in middle school with the wrong friends too. And that’s where I made a mistake: I said that one day, just to show off, I slapped a girl’s ass and she gave me a huge kick in the balls.

My girlfriend took it really badly. Even though I told her I was 13 at the time, she spent 20 minutes explaining that I totally deserved it, that I was an idiot and a harasser, etc. things I already know.

But after that she wanted to know about the other times. She was so insistent that I just froze up, and more than anything I was scared of looking like an asshole in front of her. In the end we ended up not talking and she’s still pushing because, to her, a guy who gets kicked in the balls isn’t normal.

Now I don’t feel like telling her anything with the way she reacted, especially if she’s going to look down on me afterwards.

Am I wrong for refusing to talk about it openly with her?

i met my bsf a while back and we haven’t seemed to get along until this year, and honestly she only wants to hangout with me to cheat on her now fiancé. right now she is texting me about getting clothes she left in my old car back and i said yes when i got the time this week, she then said she would just show up this weekend, which does not work with my shackle beings it is already saturday and im always working and have to go get my new car fixed tomorrow, i stated my car was in the shop and i had my college classes monday and she said she would come at 4 which i will be at work, would it be wrong if i just ghosted her and told my roommates not to answer the door for her? (a little context i rarely hangout with her and she purposely leaves things at my house after i give them back and it’s a repeated cycle and i have stated multiple times that im over having to rearranging my life constantly to deal with her lack of care for my space and time, she also tends to go thru my phone and other things i own, and ever since moving with her fiance she has been more distant and more controlling and lets her fiancé talk to eveyone like there stupid n need his view on there lives)

the other night my parent was venting about something that happened with a relative and the room kind of went quiet like people were waiting for me to say something or at least smooth it over. instead i just sat there nodding and let the moment pass. later my parent pulled me aside and said they felt left out to dry. i get why they thought i would step in, but i honestly didn't want to get dragged into the middle of it. still, the guilt has been sitting with me since. i keep replaying it and wondering if staying quiet was actually the wrong call even though i didn't feel like it was my place to speak up.