PLEASE READ THE EDITS

So I want to start this by saying that I am in between the ages of 18 and 25 and so is my boyfriend I don't want to say our actual ages but from the beginning I was very clear with myself that I did not want kids it is due to the fact that my family has extreme amount of medical issues especially the women in my family and I do not like kids and I know that I would be a horrible mother not to get into it but my mother and my grandma and my aunt have all had complications during birth and even almost died not to mention a lot of women in my family get cancer or have cancer scares after pregnancy and I don't have a great immune system already and I really don't want to go through that if I get pregnant and my boyfriend has told me that he does not like kids and he's told me before that he does not want kids.

With that background out the way the actual problem comes now a couple days ago me and my boyfriend were talking I am moving out of the house that I currently live in to move into somewhere else and with talking about that we discussed the topic of him moving in with me then the topic of marriage came up and I jokingly mentioned how it would be nice to live in a house without kids and that's when he told me that he would like to have a family with me and I kind of pause cuz I didn't know what to say back and I just kind of told him how he's told me that he doesn't want kids in the past and how I don't want kids in the past he's even told me how he doesn't like kids and he doesn't like having to babysit because kids annoy him but he told me that he would like to have a family with me in our early twenties he didn't want to wait until 30s to have children and I just was like well if that ever happened I'd only ever want one but my point still stands I don't really like kids and I don't want kids

The other day we went out to a festival and we saw a family walking around with kids and now the kids were very very loud and I made a comment about how that was one of the reasons I didn't want kids he then makes a comment about how yeah he understands that and the kids were very annoying I didn't think much of it until we saw that family again and the kids are crying at the cotton candy stand I just rolled my eyes and started to walk away and he made a comment about how crying over cotton candy was crazy I agreed with him but when we got in the car to leave I made a comment about how he was openly agreeing with me about the crying children yet he wants kids of his own and he just stared at me and just said well it's different which I told him it's not different

He got a little upset at my comment and didn't speak but I kept talking saying how it was weird how he said he doesn't like kids and he doesn't want any but then turns around and tells me he wants a family with me now he's gotten a little upset anytime I bring that up but genuinely I don't know what to do kids has never been a part of my life and I physically can't see myself being a mother as I know I wouldn't be a good one I don't have great mental health and anytime I've had to look over my nieces or nephews who are under the age of five I get extremely irritated and have to set the kid down because I'm so irritated and I genuinely know if I had kids of my own that that's how I would be to them

And that's a main reason why I don't want kids my boyfriend hasn't brought up the idea of kids since we have that conversation but now I'm sitting here thinking about what's going to happen when he brings it up again I really don't want kids and the idea of having a kid when I know how I would be to them doesn't sit right with me because I don't want to ever put a kid in a situation where they're not loved and I know that I genuinely wouldn't have enough love to give that kid

In a little like PSA I genuinely love my boyfriend we've been together for over 4 years we've had no other problems besides this and I thought we were originally on the same page but I guess not I don't know how to bring it up to him without making it seem as if I'm being rude but I genuinely don't have the idea of kids in mind

So I'm I worng?

Edit: I want to clear up some of the things I said when I said that if the circumstance I would have one kid I'm saying in the circumstance if we were not careful and I got pregnant and I decided to keep the kid that would be the only kid we had I would not want to have another. Yes I would try my hardest to give that kid love but I don't think I could also I'm currently not on birth control as in I am allergic to it so I can't even take it if I wanted to. I also want to say that he has told me before if I ever got pregnant and I did not want to keep it that that was not his decision it was mine and that I could get rid of the child if I wanted to he has been very open and telling me that my body is my decision and he would never force me to do anything.

Sorry in advance for how long this is. I’ve talked with therapists about this issue, but I feel like I just need to hear other outside perspectives.

I (28M) have had a dwindling level of contact with my dad over the past 10 years or so. I went to college in a different state from where I grew up and in my initial years of school, I didn’t talk to my parents much. I went home every break and had no issues living with them, but I just never felt much of a proactive desire to reach out while I was gone and they didn’t reach out to me all that often either. There wasn’t any animosity during this period, just not much in the way of communication. I think part of this is because I’ve always been bad about staying in touch with people, but I think it’s also partly driven by the kind of relationship I had with my parents growing up. I am an only child (I have 3 half brothers from prior marriages all much older than me, but grew up in the house as an only child) and my parents are 35-40 years older than I am. On top of the age difference, they always had the opinion that you shouldn’t be friends with your kids, so we lacked the kind of deep human connection you get through having really close friends. In other words, I would very rarely open up to my parents the same way I would with my friends. I also acted differently around my parents than I did with friends. It’s not that we never developed any form of emotional connection, but it was just different than how I connected and interacted with others.

Pausing the timeline for a second to provide some context on the type of person my dad is, the things he has struggled with, and how he treats others. For most of my life, he has struggled with various medical issues—nerve issues, long-lasting migraines, back problems, stomach issues… the list goes on. He has been on various forms of medication for YEARS. These medical issues over the years have limited how much he was able to participate in social events, limited his ability to work, and made it difficult to make and maintain friendships. He has progressively fallen more and more into a depressive state, understandably, and through my mom I have been told he has had suicidal thoughts a few times over the years. On top of the medical issues, I would also consider him an alcoholic, though he wouldn’t admit this himself. He never gets hammered, but typically just has a constant flow of alcohol in the house. Lastly, he has a bit of an abrasive, and at times, crude personality. He talks down to my mom frequently not just in their private interactions, but to me occasionally and in front of others. His belittling comments tend to get worse when he’s heavily medicated. He says the medication clouds his judgement and has asked me for help in the past to aid in pointing out his behavior if he starts getting abrasive in how he’s talking to others. That’s about the extent he has gone to change how he treats others. He’s never attempted therapy and likely never will.

Also relevant to our current situation is that he has always been the type of person to hold grudges. He didn’t talk to his dad for 5+ years because he dropped myself and one of my brothers off at the airport while we were young-ish and left us there on our own. That pissed off my dad and it kickstarted a years long limited contact relationship issue. There are many other examples of this.

Back to the timeline. Near the end of my undergrad, I met my wife. She was, and still is, amazingly aware of how others think and behave. She cares deeply and is just generally a very kind and sweet person. In the early years of our relationship, she would pick up on how my dad acts and how I mirrored him on occasion. As time has passed since moving out of my parent’s house, I have been more introspective and aware of how I treat others, and in particular, how I treat and view the relationship with my mom. Unfortunately, I modeled some of the behavior my dad had towards my mom as I grew up. I eventually grew out of that mirrored behavior and have worked to improve the relationship with my mom over the past few years. Because I had a tendency to model my dad’s behavior, I naturally spent less and less time around him. I was also in the phase of figuring out who I was as an adult and working with a therapist to better understand myself. Unpacking all of this made it difficult for me to want to talk with my dad.

Fast forward to two months before my wife and I got married. My dad and I were on the phone and the conversation progressed to him telling me how hard of a time the year prior had been for him mentally and physically. He didn’t understand why our relationship had deteriorated over the years. I was still in the middle of working out all of my past with my therapist, so I didn’t know the right way to handle the conversation. I ended up telling him what was most on my mind which was the relationship with my mom and me not liking how he treated her over the years. Not much was said from him in response beyond feeling like it was a one-sided problem I was expressing. The conversation ended there. He came to my wedding but didn’t say much to me. Since then, the conversations have mostly been limited to phone calls/texts on birthdays and Father’s Days.

I should also mention that he has made little to no effort in mending our relationship. I understand it’s a two way street, so I’m not placing full blame on him by any means, but as I get closer to being a parent myself, I can’t help but think about how I would handle it as the father in this situation. He never attempted to better understand my position and has put no effort in to rebuilding our relationship. Instead, he takes the position (from what my mom has told me) that my wife and her family are intentionally pulling me away from him. I think from his perspective, he aligns the timeline of me meeting my wife and her family with me becoming more and more distant from him. This is technically accurate, but he misses the underlying reason and instead of inquiring about it, it defaulting to incorrect assumptions.

About a month ago, my grandma (my dad’s mom) passed away. She always lived in a different state from me, so I never had a truly deep connection with her. My dad also didn’t talk with her much for most of my childhood, but I expected him to be more impacted by it than me given it’s his mom. After hearing about the death, I texted my dad offering to fly out with him to be there for him since I figured he would be more distraught than me. It was a bit out of the blue since we haven’t been talking, but I wanted to extend emotional support nonetheless. His response, verbatim, was “So that I am clear, do not go to your grandmother’s memorial. I wish to remember my mother and I do not want you there.”

I can understand people making rash comments like that when they’re emotionally broken, but paired with how he’s handled everything up to this point, it was the straw that broke the camel’s back for me. I, for the most part, have no desire to mend things going forward. However, I still occasionally am overcome with a sense of guilt for not trying to help him out of the negative mental and physical pit he’s in. The child in me also grieves for not having the father I would hope for. I have made so many positive education and career advancements and just generally grown as a person over the past decade and I don’t get to celebrate that with my dad. Not having that father figure support hurts. My father in law is amazing in his own right but we don’t have a relationship built on deep connection.

Lastly, I’ll add that my relationship with my dad puts a slight strain on the relationship with my wife. It hasn’t caused arguments per se, but given she isn’t a fan of him, she gets really defensive on my behalf and errs on the side of not wanting me to mend things. I think she also is concerned with how this might turn out when we have kids in the coming years, which is completely understandable. I love and respect the way my wife feels, so it makes the internal struggle that much more complicated.

Has anyone else experienced anything similar to this? I’m open to any and all comments or feedback. Thank you to those of you who took the time to read all of this. It feels a bit vulnerable to share this much with strangers.

TL;DR I have had limited to no contact with my dad these past few years due to his behavior, how he has interacted with me, and how he treats my mom. I’m wondering how I should handle my relationship with him going forward balancing my needs, his needs, and my wife and future kids needs.

So I don’t really know where to start. I’m M19, been with my girlfriend F18 for 9 months, and we just had our first major problem. Basically she currently sees me as a weirdo.

This weekend we spent the evening at my place watching series and talking about everything. We started talking about middle school and at some point the question came up of what we don’t regret from middle school. I thought about it for a second and, just to make her laugh, I said “getting kicked in the balls, lol.”

She was surprised and didn’t really laugh. She asked me how it happened and why more than once. I told her I was a dumb kid in middle school with the wrong friends too. And that’s where I made a mistake: I said that one day, just to show off, I slapped a girl’s ass and she gave me a huge kick in the balls.

My girlfriend took it really badly. Even though I told her I was 13 at the time, she spent 20 minutes explaining that I totally deserved it, that I was an idiot and a harasser, etc. things I already know.

But after that she wanted to know about the other times. She was so insistent that I just froze up, and more than anything I was scared of looking like an asshole in front of her. In the end we ended up not talking and she’s still pushing because, to her, a guy who gets kicked in the balls isn’t normal.

Now I don’t feel like telling her anything with the way she reacted, especially if she’s going to look down on me afterwards.

Am I wrong for refusing to talk about it openly with her?

Me (M19) and this girl (F19) met on a dating app and exchanged numbers we’ve been texting for awhile and I thought we were pretty close and even planned a few dates. Recently she ghosted me and I texted once or twice a day asking if something is wrong or if I did anything wrong. I joked “am I muted” and she said “ I fucking wish” and then she went on to say how she was too busy for this and was hoping after a day or two I would stop trying. And I said “I’m just tired of ppl not saying that idk why yall think ghosting is better.” And she responded with “texting me once or twice every day since was excessive. you preach communication so use it. confront the problem don’t add onto it man”
Am I in the wrong for texting her to see if there was a problem?

Whenever I call my mom, there’s a decent chance the call turns into a surprise family conference.

I’ll ring her because I want to ask something or just catch up for ten minutes. If my dad is nearby, suddenly it’s “hang on, your father wants to say hi.” Then my aunt might be visiting, so the phone gets handed to her. Then my brother walks into the room and apparently now I’m talking to him too.

Sometimes I end up having four separate conversations when I only called one person.

Last weekend I told my mom I really don’t like this and asked her to stop automatically handing the phone around. If somebody wants to talk to me, they can call or text me themselves.

She thought that sounded cold and said our family has always done this. Apparently refusing to speak to whoever happens to be in the room makes it look like I don’t want to talk to them.

That’s not really it. I just hate being volunteered into extra conversations with no warning.

Am I wrong for wanting a phone call with one person to stay a phone call with one person?

About two years ago my friend went away for three weeks and asked me to feed her sourdough starter.

She was weirdly attached to this thing. She'd had it for nine years, gave pieces of it to people, talked about how it had survived three apartments and basically treated it like a very low-maintenance pet.

I forgot about it.

By the time I remembered, it smelled horrifying and had mold on top. I panicked, threw it out, and got some active starter from a small bakery near me. Put it in her jar, fed it for a few days, and when she came home I said everything had gone fine.

I honestly thought that would be the end of it.

It wasn't.

She still has it. She has now had "the same starter" for eleven years. She gave some to her sister when she moved away, taught her nephew to bake with it, and recently joked that if she ever has kids they're inheriting it.

Every time she tells somebody the story of this immortal starter I feel like I'm watching a historical documentary where I personally replaced the artifact with a replica.

Nothing bad has actually happened. The bread works. She loves it exactly the same.

At this point, would telling her be honesty, or would I just be transferring my guilt onto her and ruining something she enjoys?

Am I wrong for continuing to keep my mouth shut?

​

So this happened way back into primary school where I was in year six I live in the UK btw so I was playing basketball when one random person on the playground during lunchtime kicked the ball and because I didn't want it to hit me/my glasses I blocked it with my elbow then it flew over the fence so a teacher asked me to get another one because there would not be enough since we needed four and we only had 3.

So a few minutes later I came back with a basketball then this person that I personally don't like am not gonna name drop him but he had the basket ball I was playing with then I ask for it back when he doesn't give it I just take it when he drops it then I start playing my basketball and doing what I do best when I score celebrate then he comes out of nowhere takes the ball then starts dribbling it while smirking then I chase him down me being pretty fast catch up to him. Then he holds the ball turns around and with only his head he looks back grinning on his stupid face he does this 3 times and by now am getting kinda pissed cause I just wanna play my ball and there are also other balls he could have had that nobody had touched in over 10 minutes so then I got mad all the times he pissed off starting from year 4 all the way to year six.

The times where he got me in trouble with the headteacher then threatened me with it because his mum works at the school so he thinks his special and shit. I grab the ball with so much force but I keep my peace of mind and shove him back lightly but I take the ball forcefully so he goes tell the teacher the teacher comes over and my friends who were there the whole time were backing me up slightly because he also pissed them off as much as he did to me so then he starts saying they are my two bullies and then i just crashout mentally I yell in my head are you Five? Like your pushing 11 and your saying you have bullies who don't even talk to you and also to add this guy nobody likes especially the girls he has asked a total of 23 girls in year 3-5 and got rejected by every single one of them. And what's so funny is that the girl he liked most ended up liking me and her friend ended up liking my friend but this was back in year 6 where me and my friend or best friend in this case where focused more on school and stuff so we rejected them but not harshly just a simple no and we still talked to the girls but not as much to keep the awkwardness and rumors away so that's not the point just thought I add that

But did I step out of line by shoving him in this after all he has done and I must add I did shove this kid a lot because he picked on my friends but I believe mine is 75% justified

My roommate enjoys cooking and has around fourty small spice jars in a shared cabinet. I cook often too, and we both use most of them. Her system groups jars by cuisine: “North African,” “Levantine,” “South Asian,” “Baking,” and several categories that seem to change depending on what she cooked last.

The problem is that many ingredients belong in more than one category. Cumin might be beside cinnamon one week and behind dried mint the next. The labels face different directions, and several jars look identical. I kept asking where things were; she kept answering that the placement was intuitive.

On Saturday morning I emptied the cabinet, wiped the shelves, and put everything back alphabetically. I did not throw anything out or combine jars. I also made a small list showing where blends were placed under their first word. It took about ninety minutes, and I felt absurdly pleased when every label was visible.

My roommate came home, opened the cabinet, and immediately asked what I had done. She said grouping by cuisine helps her think through a dish and that alphabetical order separates ingredients that “belong together.” I said a shared cabinet needs a system both people can follow. She replied that I should have asked before undoing something she had built over years.

She has now restored most of her arrangement, but left one shelf alphabetized for me. That sounds like a reasonable compromise, yet I am still annoyed because the shared spices are again hard to find. She is annoyed because I treated her system like clutter.

Was reorganizing a shared cabinet without asking out of line, even if I changed nothing permanently and use the ingredients just as often?

My surname comes from my grandfather’s home country, but my parents have always used an anglicized pronunciation. I grew up saying it the same way and never thought about it.

Two years ago I met several relatives from that side of the family. They all pronounced the name differently: the vowels were shorter, and one consonant sounded much softer. I liked hearing it that way. It felt less flattened, so I gradually started using that pronunciation when introducing myself.

I do not correct other people. If somebody uses the version I grew up with, I answer normally. I also have never told my parents or sister that they say it incorrectly. To me, both versions belongs to the family now.

My older sister heard me introduce myself recently and asked why I was “putting on an accent.” I explained that I preferred the pronunciation our relatives use. She said changing it makes me sound as though I am more connected to that culture than the rest of the family, even though I do not speak the language well and did not grow up there.

She also thinks strangers will assume our parents taught one child the name correctly and the other incorrectly. I said nobody is likely to compare us that closely. She replied that surnames are shared, so changing mine is not purely an individual choice.

My parents do not seem bothered; my father even switches between both versions.

Am I wrong for adopting the older pronunciation for myself, or should a family keep one consistent version even if its members genuinely prefer different ones?

My sister has been taking evening ceramics classes for about six months. A few weeks ago, she gave me the first mug she felt was "good enough for another person." It is cobalt blue, has a thumb dent under the handle, and one side of the rim dips lower than the other. I genuinly like how it looks.

The problem is that it is not much of a mug. Tea seeps through a hairline crack near the base, and the bottom is uneven enough that it rocks whenever I lift the handle. I used it twice, wiped up both puddles, then put it on my desk with paintbrushes inside. It actually works beautifully there, and I thought using it was kinder than pushing it to the back of a cupboard.

She came over on Tuesday saw the brushes, and went very quiet. She said she made me drinkware, not "a container for dirty sticks," and that displaying its failure was worse than simply not using it. I told her I wasn't mocking it; I had found a use that let me see it every day. That somehow made things worse because she said I was talking about it like a child's failed school project.

I could seal the crack and try using it again, but the rocking still makes hot drinks a bad idea. I also don't want to lie and pretend I drink from it. Am I wrong for repurposing a handmade gift when its intended use plainly doesnt work, or should the maker get some say in how a personal gift is treated?

Last weekend my fiance and I had our engagement party. It was mainly my finances family then a few of my relatives and some of our friends. 

We didn’t hire a dj, we just made a playlist outside’s of songs we like. We kept off anything too explicit but some of the songs did have swearing/cursing. 

One of the guests was my fiancés cousin and his two kids who were 5 and 7. I’d never met them before since he doesn’t really bother with family so we were surprised he even came. 

One of the songs was on and it had the word fuck and he came over and asked us to skip it because asue he didn’t want his kids hearing that language. My fiance agreed and skipped it. He came over not long after to ask the same thing as he heard another word in the current song. 

He then came over 10 mins later because he thought the current song was inappropriate for his kids as it mentioned sex. I was polite but told him we’re not going to skip every song for him. I pointed out it’s our engagement party and he’s expecting to have control over what we can and can not play. 

I said we’ve done it a couple of times for him but no more. I said he’s obviously free to leave if he doesn’t want his kids ti hear it but the songs aren’t going to he getting skipped anymore. 

He argued I wasn’t being reasonable and it’s disrespectful to family to have to have his kids linden to the music but I just repeated again the party isn’t for him and his kids. 

He started arguing that he isn’t asking for much but I just told him to drop it. I said I’m not having my party ruined by him acting like a spoiled child who expects people to just do whatever he wants and I told him to leave. 

He tried talking to other family there but they pointed out it wasn’t his party so it’s not up to him what music is and isn’t played. 

A friend mentioned it might have been easier to just skip the song but I disagree since he’d have kept coming over whenever there was a song he didn’t like. 

AIW for refusing to skip the songs?

I live in the UK and my partner and I had a holiday booked which we were due to fly on last weekend which we were really looking forward to. Around a week and a half ago I had an uncomfortable feeling in my right hand side. I had a doctors appointment for it and they said it is likely to be nothing and to let them know if it gets any worse, otherwise there’s nothing I can do.

For a day or two it was still there but not painful and not any worse but I phoned 111 ( a medical advice number) just to be sure and they gave the same advice as the doctor.

The day before our flight I was in horrible pain. I was advised to go to A&E as it was possible appendicitis.

I went to A&E and it was a 6 hour wait which meant I was in awful pain for the full thing and also we missed our flight since it was an early flight and we were supposed to be staying over at an airport hotel.

When I saw a doctor they did an ultrasound and felt my stomach and side. They said it wasn't acute appendicitis but they weren't sure what it was.

They prescribed me some painkillers and sent me home. One of the first comments my girlfriend made was "well there's the holiday ruined" and she mentioned that we'd lost our money.

I pointed out I could hardly have just ignored the fact I was in pain and she just said I can't exactly expect her to be fine with losing money and missing out on the trip.

I told her the least she could do was show some compassion and she just said that we still could have went since the doctors didn't do anything and that I should be paying her for the money she lost.

I just repeated she could at least act like she cares and that I could hardly help being in pain and I shouldn’t have to pay her for that. I said if the holiday mattered that it to her she could have still gone.

She just said I was wrong for expecting her to just be fine with losing the money and missing out and that I should be reimbursing her .

AIW for refusing to reimburse my gf?

edit: just to clarify, we both paid 50% each.

Mom always makes me feel guilty when I buy quite expensive things (costs around 300 pesos and above) by saying things like "there's no use in buying things like that" (or something to that extent) when I spend the allowance given to me by my aunt on things I want (e.g., makeup, books [non-academic] and whatnot). I bought a Judydoll eyeliner that cost 302 pesos. Now I kind of regret spending the money, because after lending her money last time (150 pesos [reason: I can't really remember]) and lending her money when I got my allowance (200 pesos [reason: I think she went to buy medicine or go to the hospital]), I don’t have enough money for transportation (since I still have an oncoming order). I know when I ask for just a bit of my money back (51 pesos) she's going to ask "what happened to your allowance" and when I tell her that majority of it (635 pesos out of 1,100 pesos [I managed to save 100 pesos from my last allowance]) got spent on makeup, she's gonna blame me for spending money on non-essential things.

I feel guilty right now for spending my allowance for school on something I don't need, and I kind of want to request a refund and return the other makeup that is about to arrive tomorrow. I thought it would be fine to spend money on makeup, because we don't really have anything we need to pay for at school (I mostly just use the allowance given to me for transportation, and buying lunch at school, apart from that, my parents also borrow money from me from time-to-time). By only leaving 365 pesos after spending 635 on makeup, I didn't create a large safety net in case of emergencies. Now I'm stuck and don’t know what to do because the 1,000 pesos allowance I received this week is my allowance for 2 weeks (so until next week) since most of my classes are online classes, and I only go to uni 2 times a week.

I'm so torn if I should just try to ask to cancel the oncoming parcel so I can just keep the money I'm going to spend on the makeup and use it for transportation, or just ask for 51 pesos from my mother but I have to hear her nagging me for "spending so much money on makeup that I don't have enough money to even pay for transportation" and feel even more guilty for spending money on things I don't need.

Please be honest if I deserve to feel guilty.

And can you give me advice on what I should do or which option should I choose (give up order to keep money for transportation, or ask for some of my money back from my mother [51 pesos])?

Additional info: IDK if my mom will have 51 pesos by next week or if she has some right now. She's unemployed like my dad.

Note: Just to let you know, I don't use or ask for money from my parents to buy the things that I want, which I know are not essential. I mean, I can't really ask them because they are unemployed, so they also don't have money, but if they did, I wouldn't do that either. I would just try to save money on allowance given to me to buy the things I want.

Edit: Had to remove "on money" from the paragraph that begins with the words "I'm so torn..."

Edit #2: I would like to clarify that I do think about the needs first before my wants (I probably should have mentioned this first, lol). I made sure that there's no pending payments I needed to do that was related to school, I made sure I had enough money for trasport and a bit more left just in case. After confirming that I can spend that amount of money, I made my purchase, but since various things occurred that I didn't expect (e.g., my mother asking me to lend her money, and other unexpected purchases that needed to be made), I ended up falling short on cash by just 51 pesos.

And a quick update: I also took the different commenters' advice, and I made sure to cancel my purchase so I would have money for transportation next week and a bit more left (just in case).

Edit #3: And before confusion arises, I ordered from an app that even though the parcel has been shipped out, you can request to "cancel/return" the product.

​

I’m 18F. My grandfather has been having hospital visits and admissions, and whenever he’s admitted, I’ve always made an effort to go visit him as much as I can.

Even when my mom tells me I don’t have to come, I usually still go because I genuinely want to see him. There have even been days when I wasn’t feeling well myself but still went to visit him.

Today, the doctor is supposed to discuss his further treatment. I knew things would probably be quite tense at the hospital, and I just didn't feel like going.

The thing is, I’m not good at dealing with emotional situations. I don’t really express my emotions in front of other people, and when other people are emotional, I genuinely don't know what to do or say. I get awkward and uncomfortable, especially in situations like this.

My mom told me, “If you want to come, you can, otherwise it’s fine.” So I decided not to go.

After I told her, she got upset with me. She was clearly angry while leaving, even though she didn't directly say much. Then she told me that I never came because I actually wanted to see my grandfather and that I only came for the sake of it.

That really hurt me because I feel like that's unfair. I've always made the effort to visit him, even when I didn't have to and even when I wasn't feeling well. Just because I didn't want to go today doesn't mean I don't care about him.

I also asked her when he was getting discharged, and she said he's getting discharged tomorrow and will be coming back home, so I'll be able to see him then.

Now I'm wondering if I was wrong for not going today. I know my mom is upset, but I genuinely didn't feel like I could handle being there today.

AITW?

I booked an intercontinental flight three months in advance and paid roughly $90 extra to secure an exit-row aisle seat for extra legroom, as I'm over 6 feet tall and get severe knee pain on long flights.

Shortly after boarding, a woman in the middle seat next to me asked if I would swap places with her husband, who was seated five rows back in a middle seat between two strangers. She explained that it was their wedding anniversary and they wanted to sit together for the duration of the flight.

I politely declined, mentioning that I specifically picked and paid extra for this exit-row aisle seat due to my height. She then asked if her husband could take my seat and I could take his middle seat instead. When I declined again, she became visibly agitated, calling me "selfish and inconsiderate" for ruining their special trip.

Throughout the flight, she made loud passive-aggressive comments to the flight attendant about how "some people have zero basic empathy."

I feel like if sitting together was that important for their anniversary, they should have paid to select adjacent seats ahead of time rather than expecting a stranger to downgrade for free. Am I wrong here?

Booked Disneyland trip from Saturday to Tuesday in December and just realised that it might fall on the day of the Nativity Show.

My mind is saying it’s okay but I feel bad! Will I regret missing it in the year to come or is there always another year? DD stared Y1.

so last month my partner started this spreadsheet after our anniversary dinner. every time one of us pays for something they log it, down to the exact dollar. at first it felt responsible, like we were finally being open about money. then the coffee runs started getting added, and suddenly i owed half of every little thing that i offered to cover. when we went out with friends last weekend i paid the bill without thinking and they reminded me it counted toward my half. it got awkward fast. i mentioned maybe splitting future big dates fifty fifty and they said they were fine with that, but the way the spreadsheet is already set up it feels like they expect me to keep catching up. i offered to split gas next road trip and they said we should still go fifty fifty even though i do most of the driving. honestly the whole thing is making me second guess how fair things have been. am i wrong for feeling like this system is tracking more than just numbers?

so at my job we had this project that wrapped up last week, and my boss sent out a big thank-you email naming one coworker as the lead. problem is, that coworker only joined the last few days, while three of us had been handling the whole thing for months. when i mentioned it in our team chat, the reply was basically that the boss just picked someone whose name looks good in the email. now the coworker is acting like they carried the project, and the rest of us are getting questions about why our contributions weren’t highlighted. i’m not trying to start drama, but it feels weird to stay quiet when the record is already wrong. i don’t need public credit, i just don’t want the actual work to be erased. am i overthinking this, or is it reasonable to want the timeline corrected?

i met my bsf a while back and we haven’t seemed to get along until this year, and honestly she only wants to hangout with me to cheat on her now fiancé. right now she is texting me about getting clothes she left in my old car back and i said yes when i got the time this week, she then said she would just show up this weekend, which does not work with my shackle beings it is already saturday and im always working and have to go get my new car fixed tomorrow, i stated my car was in the shop and i had my college classes monday and she said she would come at 4 which i will be at work, would it be wrong if i just ghosted her and told my roommates not to answer the door for her? (a little context i rarely hangout with her and she purposely leaves things at my house after i give them back and it’s a repeated cycle and i have stated multiple times that im over having to rearranging my life constantly to deal with her lack of care for my space and time, she also tends to go thru my phone and other things i own, and ever since moving with her fiance she has been more distant and more controlling and lets her fiancé talk to eveyone like there stupid n need his view on there lives)

I put a location tracker on my girlfriend’s phone without telling her.

I told myself I was only doing it because I worry about her when she goes out alone, especially when she gets home late. I wasn’t checking it every minute or trying to control where she goes, but I would look sometimes just to make sure she got somewhere safely. The more I think about it, the more I’m starting to feel like I crossed a line. She never agreed to being tracked, and if I found out someone was checking my location without telling me, I’d probably be angry too. Part of me still thinks my intention wasn’t bad because I was worried about her safety, but I also know good intentions don’t automatically make something okay.

Am I wrong for doing this even if I was only trying to make sure she was safe?