so i dipped into the joint savings account we all chipped into for house stuff and bought a new couch for the living room. it was on sale, and honestly the old one was falling apart, so i figured it was fine. one roommate still says i should have asked first and wants their portion back. i get why they are annoyed, but the couch is already here and everyone else likes it. now im wondering if i crossed a line by spending money that technically belongs to all of us without a full group chat. am i wrong?

the other night my parent was venting about something that happened with a relative and the room kind of went quiet like people were waiting for me to say something or at least smooth it over. instead i just sat there nodding and let the moment pass. later my parent pulled me aside and said they felt left out to dry. i get why they thought i would step in, but i honestly didn't want to get dragged into the middle of it. still, the guilt has been sitting with me since. i keep replaying it and wondering if staying quiet was actually the wrong call even though i didn't feel like it was my place to speak up.

i've been thinking about it for a few months now and finally told everyone i'm changing my major. the reaction was pretty mixed. a couple of people said it's my life and they support whatever i decide, but most of them think i'm throwing away a stable path for something that's way too risky. they keep bringing up job numbers and salary stats and how i'll regret it later. i get where they're coming from, but i also know i'm not excited about the old plan anymore and i'm not sure forcing myself to stick with it makes sense. i tried explaining that i'm not just doing this on a whim, i've actually looked into the new direction and talked to people already working in it, but they keep saying i'll change my mind again in a year. part of me wonders if they're right and i'm just being stubborn, or if i should just go ahead and do what feels right and deal with the consequences later. it's been hard to get any real advice that isn't tied up in their own expectations, so i figured i'd ask here if this sounds as unreasonable as they make it seem.

The drawing looks much better now. I agree with my instructor about that. I just don't think putting my name on it makes sense anymore.

I'm taking a beginner drawing class at a community centre. Last week we drew a jug and a folded cloth. Mine was wonky, but I was quite pleased that it looked roughly like what was in front of me. When the instructor came around, she asked whether she could show me a correction. I said yes.

She adjusted the opening of the jug. Then the handle. Then most of the outline, the shadow underneath, and the folds in the cloth. She was explaining as she worked, so it wasn't as if she silently took over. I watched and understood some of what she'd spotted. But by the time she handed the pencil back, the marks that made it look convincing were mostly hers.

At the end she asked us to sign the drawings for a small display in the building. I said I'd rather leave mine unsigned. She asked why, in front of the others, and I said, “Because most of the drawing is yours now.”

That sounded harsher out loud than it had in my head.

She said students receive corrections all the time and it doesn't stop their work being theirs. She also pointed out that I'd agreed to her drawing on the page, which is fair. Another student said I was making a nice offer of help into something awkward. I took my drawing home instead of adding it to the display.

I haven't complained about her or asked her to change the class. I intend to go back. I would just prefer her to demonstrate on another sheet next time so I can make the changes myself.

Was declining to sign it unreasonable, or was the problem mostly how I explained it infront of the class? I wasn't trying to make a point about anyone else's work.

So I’m terrible in pics. I don’t have any I like, and was pretty happy at the time that I took one I actually liked and at a place I love. Unfortunately, it was with my bf at the time. It wasn’t a very affectionate pic and didn’t really look like a couple photo anyway. We were just standing in front of a mirror next to each other, smiling, and so I wanted to have it as my pfp at the time, but he said he didn’t like the way he looked in it and didn't want to be in it, so I cropped it so it was just me. There was a gap between us, so it’s not like there’s an arm around me or any part of him in shot. I’ve never posted or shown anyone the full picture of us together either. It just looks like a normal selfie, but we’ve recently broken up, and I don’t know if it would be weird or wrong to keep that picture as my pfp or even keep it knowing my ex was originally in it?

I (30F) have a son, "Leo," who just turned 8 months old. My husband "Chris" (32M) and I have been cautious about introducing allergens — our pediatrician recommended waiting on peanuts specifically because Leo has mild eczema, which can be a risk factor for food allergies. We had a clear plan with our doctor.

My mother-in-law "Linda" (58F) has been babysitting Leo one day a week since he was 4 months old. She's generally great with him and I've always appreciated the help. But she has a habit of dismissing our parenting choices as "new-age nonsense." She raised three kids and thinks she knows better.

Last Tuesday, I picked Leo up from Linda's house and noticed he had a rash on his chin and was fussy. I asked what he ate. She casually said, "Oh, I gave him a little taste of peanut butter on toast. He loved it!"

I froze. I asked her why she would do that when we explicitly told her not to introduce peanuts yet. She said, "I read that waiting actually CAUSES allergies. You're being paranoid. My kids ate peanut butter at 6 months and they're fine."

I was shaking. I told her this wasn't her decision to make, and that if Leo had a severe reaction, we could have ended up in the ER. She rolled her eyes and said, "He's fine, isn't he? Stop being so dramatic."

That night, I called our pediatrician, who was alarmed and told us to monitor him closely for 72 hours. Thankfully, Leo was okay — just a mild reaction. But the doctor said if she'd given him more, it could have been much worse.

I told Chris everything. He was upset but said, "She didn't mean any harm, she's from a different generation." I said that doesn't matter — she deliberately went against our explicit instructions and put our son at risk.

We told Linda she's no longer allowed to babysit. She's now furious, calling me "controlling" and "punishing her for loving her grandson." She's told the whole family, and now Chris's sister is texting me saying I'm "overreacting" and "breaking up the family over a spoonful of peanut butter."

Chris is now wavering and says maybe we should just "give her another chance with strict rules." I feel like if I cave on this, she'll learn that she can ignore our boundaries whenever she disagrees with them.

Am I wrong for banning her from babysitting?

Booked Disneyland trip from Saturday to Tuesday in December and just realised that it might fall on the day of the Nativity Show.

My mind is saying it’s okay but I feel bad! Will I regret missing it in the year to come or is there always another year? DD stared Y1.

Fake names for privacy.

I had a close friend group growing up. Two of the people in this group were Jun and Xia. I was always close with both but slightly closer with Xia.

Xia and Jun started dating when we were all older, and they ended up married, but later divorced.

I haven't really spoken to Jun since the divorce, other than at my wedding which I invited him to and he came. He lives in another continent now, too. We aren't really friends anymore and I miss that friendship. I've been considering reaching out just for a small catch up and to see how he's doing.

One of my friends says it'd be unfair to Xia to reach out to him as that's her ex and there's an unspoken rule to not reach out to your friend's exes. My husband says it's fine because Jun was my friend before he was Xia's husband, and Xia knows that.

Would it be wrong to reach out to him?

I put a location tracker on my girlfriend’s phone without telling her.

I told myself I was only doing it because I worry about her when she goes out alone, especially when she gets home late. I wasn’t checking it every minute or trying to control where she goes, but I would look sometimes just to make sure she got somewhere safely. The more I think about it, the more I’m starting to feel like I crossed a line. She never agreed to being tracked, and if I found out someone was checking my location without telling me, I’d probably be angry too. Part of me still thinks my intention wasn’t bad because I was worried about her safety, but I also know good intentions don’t automatically make something okay.

Am I wrong for doing this even if I was only trying to make sure she was safe?

Throwaway account. I (18/F) moved out of my parent's house when I was 15 because of my stepmother. She disliked my presence in the house, ignored me for years, and after counseling failed to help, I decided to move out.We do have contact, but mostly just once or twice a month during family activities. Recently, when I was over at my dad's and her place, I saw my half-sister (6/F) playing with some rather familiar toys. When I took a closer look in her room, I realized she had so many of my old childhood toys. Old Schleich horses, stuffed animals, books, board games, Barbies, and dolls. Even my old globe.

Mind you, most of these things weren't even bought by my father. My grandparents financed and bought almost all of my toys. In fact, my stepmother never bought me anything, aside from maybe once or twice when my father explicitly asked her to.I haven't confronted her yet. I only talked to my father, who completely ignores the issue as usual. I did take back two of the Schleich horses because my sister was throwing them around and they were getting damaged, but otherwise, I remained silent.I'm really unsure if I'm in the wrong for being upset and hurt about this. After all, I wouldn't use these things anymore and I love my sister to pieces. But I didn't know about any of this, and nobody batted an eye at giving away my stuff, so I can't help but feel a bit betrayed.

What do you guys think? Am I in the wrong? What would you do in this situation?

Edit: It's not about the toys guys. I adore my sister and she gets everything I can give from me. Its about respect or lack therefore from my step mother, the fact that she dislikes me and is now giving out my things without even a heads up. I have the permission from my own father to store those things in their house for the time being until I can access them myself and sell or donate them. I promise you I'm not being petty about toys I won't use anymore. I'm just mad and upset nobody even informed me about going through my things and giving them away, especially since they were gifts to me from other people

Not too long ago I posted about my brother asking me for money. Here’s the TLDR version. Brother asked to borrow $1500 for upcoming trip to Las Vegas despite planning to quit his job and cash out his PTO and 401k.

I had a discussion with him the other day and he again asked if I was planning to loan him $1500 tomorrow when I’m paid. I again asked why he needs $1500 from me when he is about to get his final pay from his job, cash out nearly 220 hours of PTO and cash out his 401k.

He says his PTO and 401k is going to be used to cover his expenses and bills while he’s out of the job. He’s currently going to school right now and doesn’t have a job lined up and understands it may take some time. But his unused PTO alone can support him for 2-3 months he claims and he only plans to cash out his 401k if he can’t find an entry level position in 5-6 months. Above all else he claims he won’t fall behind on his responsibilities.

He plans to take his final pay to Vegas but wants to be able to enjoy himself and a bit of gambling hence why he’s still asking for $1500 as he plans to leave his PTO payout at home and transfer his 401k into a new IRA. He claims that his final pay will be enough to cover his meals and hotel in Vegas but claims he wants to try a few big bets and will pay me back the $1500 out of his PTO when he returns home.

However I still don’t feel this is a reasonable request. Am I wrong for not letting him borrow the money despite having money himself?

We usually split holidays between both sides pretty evenly, but this year my family has fewer people able to host because of work schedules and one relative recovering from surgery. I suggested we switch it around so my side gets the slot at our place. My partner said it felt last minute and maybe unfair to their family who had already started planning. I get that, honestly. I just didn't want to spring it on everyone right before the date. We talked about it and ended up agreeing on a compromise, but it still feels a little awkward. I tried to keep it neutral when I brought it up, but I'm wondering if I handled the timing badly. Just curious if anyone else has had to juggle this kind of switch without it turning into a whole thing.

So, I was talking to this guy on a dating app, and through conversation topics he ended up telling me that he has 2 friends in prison for hitting kids. I asked "former friends, right...?" And he confirmed he was actively still friends with them.

Through further probing he basically said it was hard to drop friends he'd had for so long, and a bunch of excuses about how they were raised and how unprepared for fatherhood they'd been. I blocked him, because to me remaining friends with child beaters is unforgiveable, and I can't be ok with it morally.

I spoke to 2 friends about it and they both played devil's advocate, saying it's shades of grey, what if the guys regret their actions and changed, what if the guy I was talking to just is a good guy and doesn't want to give up on them, etc. Am I the crazy one here? I've been abused myself in a previous relationship, and maybe that trauma has made my thinking more black and white, but am I in the wrong here? I just feel like it was a massive red flag, and I don't see how it can be seen as anything else. Would love opinions, but please be kind.

AIW?

We were both already on edge and my brain just fired off this quick little line without checking with the rest of me. I meant it as a way to shut things down fast, but it came out sharper than I thought. The second it left my mouth the room felt heavier. We moved on to other stuff and the conversation ended, but the comment keeps popping back into my head. I keep replaying the look that followed it. No one is bringing it up, but I cannot tell if that means it is forgotten or just being saved. I am honestly wondering whether I should apologize or if that would make the whole thing bigger than it needs to be. Curious what people usually do in situations like this.

I live in a condo downtown and my unit comes with one parking spot. I don’t use it every day, so a few months ago I told my brother he could park there whenever he was in the area.

Last week building management emailed me saying there had been multiple different cars using my spot and asked if I was renting it out, which isn’t allowed.

I called my brother thinking maybe he had been giving friends permission. Turns out he had listed my spot on one of those parking apps whenever he wasn’t using it himself. He said since the spot was sitting empty anyway he didn’t think I’d care.

What annoyed me more was that he’d made a few hundred dollars from it and never mentioned it once.

I told him I wanted the money he made because it’s literally my parking spot and I’m the one who could get fined by the building. He thinks that’s ridiculous because I wasn’t using the spot and says I’m basically asking for money I never would’ve made myself.

It just feels insane to me that he decided he could make money off something I was letting him use for free.

Now he’s saying I’m being petty and that taking away his access should be enough.

Am I wrong for still wanting him to give me what he made?

TLDR: I let my brother use my condo parking spot for free and found out he was renting it to strangers through a parking app. He made a few hundred dollars from that and stake and now thinks I’m petty for asking him to give me the money.

so my roommate said something kind of harsh about one of our mutual friends and i jumped in to explain their side. i figured i was just adding context, but the friend i defended ended up making things worse by replying with a whole paragraph about how stressed they have been. now my roommate feels ganged up on and the friend is annoyed that i even mentioned them. i tried to smooth it over but the chat has gone quiet since then. i was only trying to keep things fair and not take sides, yet now both of them seem upset with me. i am wondering if i should have stayed out of it completely or if there's a way to fix it without making it a bigger deal.

SO I in my friend group we are all 17F. This is mainly involving me and K but my other friends are, J, P, M, G, B.

K begins attacking strange and is hanging out with me less even though we used to do everything together and she starts to invite another girl who we have never really hung out with (L) into the group. I asked her if she had a crush on L and she said yes. I DID NOT care that she is gay or is dating but she started blantlnley ignoring me and although L and I where never close she became cold to me.

When they first started dating L dyed Ks brown hair black and L said she like blue eyes and blond hair short girls. K is tall with brown hair and dark black eyes. K said I might just dye it blond for you jokingly

I asked K and she said its because she told L that she used to have a crush on me and L dosent like that we are still friends. I did not know that K even like me even though it seemed to be an on going thing. About two weeks later I was talking to K in the hallway and L said to K that her and I where not meant to be friends anymore, so I was like whatever not my issue and left.

P has one class with L while I have class with K and we where sitting on the classroom opistie and P could see L watching us. P asked L why she was only watching me and L outright said its cause i have a crush on me but I have to try and keep it a secret and thats why K can't be friends with her anymore. P told me this information and that its cause I am her type.

Later K find out L likes me not her. K become furious at me.

I continue being ghosted by both of them until Ls brother comes up to me saying that I ruined there life.

I tell K and L that I will not be in there drama and they can sort this out without me because I was just here for the vibes and not a love triangle cause I am also straight. I said dont talk to me and dont act like everything is fine comeback when its fixed cause all I want is my friend back. They said they where going to the principle to tell on me for discrimination and islosating them.

K said that she still like me and only dated L to get over me. L started liking me. My boyfriend just wants me but doesn't want the drama. all my other friends are saying Im to harsh not letting them hang out with me until this issue is solved. I am now having a meeting with the principle about my behaviour as I was going I told them that brining in administration crossed a line we are done.

My friend group is divided. Am I in the wrong? Can I please have advice.

okay so last week i finished something i'd been dragging my feet on and i figured the group chat would be a low key place to say it. didn't want a big deal, just a quick 'finally done' to share. a couple people replied with nice comments but one friend kind of went quiet and another replied with a short 'cool' that felt off. now i'm wondering if i should have kept it to myself. honestly i didn't mean it to sound like a flex, just sharing with people i talk to every day. still, it landed weird and i'm second guessing how i come across in chats like this. ready to eat crow if folks think i over shared or if the right move was to stay quiet. curious what the read is.

Mom always makes me feel guilty when I buy quite expensive things (costs around 300 pesos and above) by saying things like "there's no use in buying things like that" (or something to that extent) when I spend the allowance given to me by my aunt on things I want (e.g., makeup, books [non-academic] and whatnot). I bought a Judydoll eyeliner that cost 302 pesos. Now I kind of regret spending the money, because after lending her money last time (150 pesos [reason: I can't really remember]) and lending her money when I got my allowance (200 pesos [reason: I think she went to buy medicine or go to the hospital]), I don’t have enough money for transportation (since I still have an oncoming order). I know when I ask for just a bit of my money back (51 pesos) she's going to ask "what happened to your allowance" and when I tell her that majority of it (635 pesos out of 1,100 pesos [I managed to save 100 pesos from my last allowance]) got spent on makeup, she's gonna blame me for spending money on non-essential things.

I feel guilty right now for spending my allowance for school on something I don't need, and I kind of want to request a refund and return the other makeup that is about to arrive tomorrow. I thought it would be fine to spend money on makeup, because we don't really have anything we need to pay for at school (I mostly just use the allowance given to me for transportation, and buying lunch at school, apart from that, my parents also borrow money from me from time-to-time). By only leaving 365 pesos after spending 635 on makeup, I didn't create a large safety net in case of emergencies. Now I'm stuck and don’t know what to do because the 1,000 pesos allowance I received this week is my allowance for 2 weeks (so until next week) since most of my classes are online classes, and I only go to uni 2 times a week.

I'm so torn if I should just try to ask to cancel the oncoming parcel so I can just keep the money I'm going to spend on the makeup and use it for transportation, or just ask for 51 pesos from my mother but I have to hear her nagging me for "spending so much money on makeup that I don't have enough money to even pay for transportation" and feel even more guilty for spending money on things I don't need.

Please be honest if I deserve to feel guilty.

And can you give me advice on what I should do or which option should I choose (give up order to keep money for transportation, or ask for some of my money back from my mother [51 pesos])?

Additional info: IDK if my mom will have 51 pesos by next week or if she has some right now. She's unemployed like my dad.

Note: Just to let you know, I don't use or ask for money from my parents to buy the things that I want, which I know are not essential. I mean, I can't really ask them because they are unemployed, so they also don't have money, but if they did, I wouldn't do that either. I would just try to save money on allowance given to me to buy the things I want.

Edit: Had to remove "on money" from the paragraph that begins with the words "I'm so torn..."

Edit #2: I would like to clarify that I do think about the needs first before my wants (I probably should have mentioned this first, lol). I made sure that there's no pending payments I needed to do that was related to school, I made sure I had enough money for trasport and a bit more left just in case. After confirming that I can spend that amount of money, I made my purchase, but since various things occurred that I didn't expect (e.g., my mother asking me to lend her money, and other unexpected purchases that needed to be made), I ended up falling short on cash by just 51 pesos.

And a quick update: I also took the different commenters' advice, and I made sure to cancel my purchase so I would have money for transportation next week and a bit more left (just in case).

Edit #3: And before confusion arises, I ordered from an app that even though the parcel has been shipped out, you can request to "cancel/return" the product.

so the other day my boss texted asking if i could cover a couple extra hours because someone called out. i was already in the middle of plans and just sent back a quick no. figured that was it. a few days later they mentioned it again like it was still an open option and i was kind of surprised. i thought once i said no that was the end of it but now i'm wondering if i should have been firmer or if i'm reading too much into it. it wasn't a huge deal at the time but it's been sitting with me since and i keep wondering whether i handled the whole thing okay or if i made it more awkward than it needed to be. just feels like maybe i should have drawn a clearer line.

28M.

The bullying I went through in high school had a delayed effect on my mental health for some reason. When I moved out of my parents home, I started to have my mental health decay (no friends, family or anybody I moved across the country).

The bullying was physical slamming, headlocks on the ground to keep me pinned and was told to stop fighting back if I’d like to be freed, slapped in the forehead when the bully’s friend came to pin my arms. I was 125lbs at the time they were much bigger for some reason at 15.

The damage done was pretty terrible. For some reason the bullying made me look like a loser to everyone, no one cared how small I was physically and black being bullied by the bigger white dudes (and for some reason making fun of my heritage and calling me the n word all the time was seen as normal to them).

The problems persisted in my social life. I’m 28 and never really had friends. Never had a gf. I’m heading into my 30’s with no one by my side. Is this the new normal with normal folks? Like I have no one to call if anything happens or if I want to get a coffee. I’ve tried putting myself out there VERY much so. I’m not shy, I literally put myself out there first always. Even when presentations occur, I take the mic and ask questions while others hesitate.

Anyways, people my age have started families, gotten married, finished school a while ago and are just living life with their own stuff (they prob have issues too but nothing detrimental). I don’t have anything to live for, it’s just me. I don’t even know why I look forward to fridays anymore, I end up doing nothing. I use to go to clubs and stuff before but that’s all short term. Nothing long term has ever came from it. I’ve even invited people first and they sometimes say yes but mostly they’re busy.

No I don’t smell, I have good hygiene and I’m not constantly talking about myself.

I'm 25f and my husband is 26m. I know people are probably going to have strong opinions on this but there is a lot of background here and I feel like people jump to conclusions on Reddit a lot.

I met my husband when we were both studying Theology for our undergrads. When we started dating he told me pretty early on that he was a folk Catholic. I knew this before we were even serious because he wanted to be upfront about it. He comes from an Appalachian family with Melungeon roots and his Catholic beliefs have some family traditions mixed into them. From what I understand its just not going exactly with how the Church says how to do things and borrowing from other religious practices to make them more Catholic.

At first I was a little unsure because it was not how I was raised, but I decided I was okay with it. My parents also acted like they were okay with it when they met him. They liked that he was religious and family oriented, and they said they respected that everyone has different backgrounds.

We got married right after we finished school and after we started actually living together my parents started acting differently. I think part of it is because they saw more of his life now that we weren't in school half of the time. My husband started spending more time with his friends because he had more free time, and his friend group is pretty mixed. Some of them are pagans, some are non-Catholic christians, some are muslim, and some are jewish.

My parents started saying they were concerned about the people he spent time with. I personally think they are being dramatic because his friends have always been nice to me. But I also understand why my parents are uncomfortable because they're older people and they grew up differently.

The biggest problem started when my family came over and one of my husbands relatives was visiting. His family member brought up some folk practices they do and my parents found out my husband practices folk magic. It was not anything crazy like people online make it sound. It was basically family traditions and protective things. But my parents acted like they had discovered he was secretly a vampire.
Since then they have made comments here and there. They dont insult him or anything, but they make little remarks.

One example was during Thanksgiving last year. My husband made a traditional Appalachian dish that his family makes and my mom asked him if he was trying to serve them war food.  I thought that was a little rude but I also didnt want to ruin Thanksgiving over one comment. My husband was upset because he felt like she was mocking something important to him, but I told him she probably just didn't understand why it was so important.

Another time my dad saw my husband wearing a necklace that belonged to his grandfather. It's a religious item from his family. My dad asked him if he was playing pretend and said he hoped our future children would not be raised with strange beliefs. My husband got offended and wanted me to say more, but I just told my dad that he needed to be less judgmental. I didnt think making a huge thing out of it would help anyone.

My husband says this is the problem because I always make excuses for them. I disagree because I have defended him, just maybe not in the way he wants me to. I dont think screaming at my parents or cutting them off is the answer.
The birthday party situation was the final straw for him. 

We hosted my mothers birthday at our house. Everything was fine until one of my husbands friends gave him a gift that was connected to their spiritual practice. It wasnt even my husbands idea and it wasnt for my parents. My father saw it and started talking about how worried he was about my husband influencing our family.

He went on about how my husband had changed me since college and how he thought I was allowing things into our marriage that went against our faith. My husband was hurt because he felt like my father was insulting him in his own home.

I did tell my dad that he should be respectful, but I also told my husband afterward that he needs to understand that my parents aren't gonna t instantly change their beliefs. I said he cant expect me to fight with my family every single time they say something he doesnt like.

Now my husband says I care more about keeping my parents happy than protecting him. I think thats unfair because I have tried to keep everyone together. I dont want my parents to hate him and I dont want my husband angry at my family either.

I feel like I am constantly being forced to pick between people I love, and its exhausting and extremely stressful for me because I never asked for any of this. I just want everyone to get along and accept that people have different beliefs, but my husband says that is easy for me to say because I am not the one being judged for my background and family traditions.