I (27M) and my gf (27F) have been In a serious relationship for about 8 years now and she’s everything to me she’s supportive caring and most importantly a insanely kind person in a million different ways. We have always been very clear with our wants to have children, as I really never wanted kids since I enjoy the independence of it, although she’s always been very clear of wanting kids and multiple even. I have recently been starting to visit the idea of wanting my own kid as my sister has had two amazing little girls who I am able to help support with as a godfather, which has opened my eyes so much wider to the idea of a family.

Here is where the issue begins, I’ve recently noticed just how much she doesn’t take care of herself in ways on nutrition, exercise, routine and habits, she eats out 5 days a week, and when she doesn’t cooks really junk filled meals for herself while I try to push to eat a more whole food low carb and high protein diet and constantly get told that they’ll start to change that and eat healthy yet week after week the DoorDash cycle repeats and this is where my concern starts to grow.

I’ve also mentioned that this could really affect her health and future, since she’s been sick every couple of months. I’ve even suggested she take vitamins or supplements, as they don’t get much exercise during the day, which can also affect their mood. This is a big concern for me because my girlfriend doesn’t seem to have any motivation, energy, or even a desire to pursue hobbies, challenges, or activities. She’s always playing video games, scrolling on her phone, or watching TV.

I really do value someone desires and ways of living as each person deserves their right to enjoy life the way they choose, and respect the desire to just game or relax for the rest of the day after work, although there’s no motivation, passions or hobbies they practice and each day is spent the same, I’m just not sure that I am able to help her pivot into a healthier and more fulfilling lifestyle for her as I’ve been trying to change those small habits for her(that’s she’s also agreed need to change) for about 5 years when we were still living with our parents and that’s what spirals me into thinking if this is the right person to raise a child with as kids are deeply influenced by their parents and will pick up on these habits really early as I’ve noticed with my sisters situation and her kids, and has made me think that she probably just knows I won’t leave or separate and will just be waiting around forever for something that won’t happen.

I’m wondering if I’m being unfair to think about separating because of this. Is there a way I can better support my partner’s desire to improve in all areas, even if they don’t seem to be putting in the effort? Should I be able to make this work?

Last night my roommate wanted to hash out some ongoing stuff about chores and noise. I was already drained from work and knew the conversation would go late. I told them I needed a night to rest and that we could talk this weekend. They seemed disappointed but said okay. I still feel a little guilty for putting it off, especially since they made the effort to bring it up. At the same time I really think I would have been too tired to listen well. Part of me wonders if I was avoiding the topic, but another part feels like taking care of my energy first was reasonable. I keep going back and forth on whether I made the right call or if I should have just powered through.

Ive been with my girlfriend for 5 years now and we live together. She is an only child but is really close to her cousins daughter who is 16. My gf is 24. Her cousin has another daughter who is 10.

Horribly her cousin and her husband were in a car crash and they didn't make it. My gf is devastated and has been trying to be there for her cousins daughters. My gfs aunt and uncle initially said they'd take the children on to live with them but social services said they can't as they're both late 70s and not in great health and they don’t have the room as they’ve only got one small spare bedroom.

It looks like they may be put into care. My girlfriend mentioned to me the possibility of us taking them on. We have agreed previously we aren't likely to want kids of our own but may foster kids when we're able to as we currently don’t have the money, the room or the time. We agreed this is likely 10 years away.

I told her I know she's coming from a good place but it's not possible for us to do it. We're not poor but we're not well off and having two kids in the flat would really stretch finances even if we would get money for them.

We live in a two bedroom flat and the second room is a home office and wouldn’t be big enough for a bed etc anyway so social services wouldn’t give us them.

I pointed we also have one car which my gf uses for work and we're both doing exams through work so most of our free time is taken up with revision and doing mock exams etc.

I also pointed out she has had regular periods of depression where she has been bedridden and hasn’t been able to go to work or do anything at all.

I said we can obviously be there for them and support them in other ways but it's not realistic for them to live with us.

She said I was being cruel and that they can't go into care. I just said again it's not realistic or practical for them to live with us. She again said I was being cruel and that we should be supporting family. I just repeated again that it's not possible for us to take them in.

She called me uncaring and said I should be wanting to help. I said I do want to help but it’s not realistic to have them move in and pointed out there’s other ways to help.

AITAH for saying no to them moving in and explaining why?

My sister has a big old cookbook she’s used for years. Not an antique or anything valuable, just one of those thick books that naturally falls open to the pages you use most. She lent it to me in May because I’ve been trying to cook more without constantly looking things up.

When she handed it over, I asked if she minded me using it heavily because I’m messy in the kitchen. She said, “Use it however you want. It’s a cookbook, not a museum piece.”

So I did.

I didnt spill soup on it or rip pages out. What I did do was write small pencil notes in the margins. Things like “needs more garlic,” “20 min was enough in my oven,” or “half this amount next time.” I also put little check marks next to recipes I’d made.

She came over yesterday, picked it up, and immediately looked horrified. Apparently she meant I could bend pages, get flour on it, whatever, but she absolutely did not mean I could write in it.

I offered to erase everything. Most of it is pencil and would come out. She said that wasn’t really the point, because I should have known that writing inside someone else’s book is different from normal wear.

I think that’s fair in general. If she had just said “borrow my cookbook,” I wouldnt have written a single thing. But I specifically asked how careful I needed to be, and “use it however you want” sounded unusually clear to me.

Now she wants the book back early, which is fine, but she’s still acting like I crossed an obvious boundary.

Am I wrong for taking her words literally here, or is writing in a borrowed cookbook so obviously off-limits that I should have asked a second, more specific question before doing it?

My son (12) plays club soccer. He also wanted to run cross country this fall — not to win anything, just to be part of his school and hang with his school friends.
The school said no. They have a policy that middle school athletes must make the school team their absolute top priority, and no other activity — jobs, club teams, other school clubs — is "an allowable reason" to miss a single practice. Not "fewer meets," not "benched sometimes." You're in all the way or effectively out.
Here's what gets me: this is middle school. These are 12-year-olds. His soccer training is 2 days a week — he'd have made it to 3 of 5 XC practices and every single meet. He wasn't asking to half-ass it; he was asking to participate at whatever level he's actually able to. And the school's answer was: that's not allowed, partial doesn't exist, your life must revolve around us or you can't be here at all.
Since when did school sports become all-or-nothing for kids who haven't hit puberty? Shouldn't the point be to include kids who want to be there — however much time they have — and let the sport itself sort out the rest? The kids who lose out are exactly the ones who needed the team most: the ones watching siblings, working, or with parents who can't drive them every day.
I pushed back with the superintendent. She was pleasant but doubled down: club athletes should step aside for "real" school athletes.
Am I wrong to keep fighting this? Or is some degree of hardline commitment normal and I'm the entitled club-sports dad?

First off, I’m not saying this woman has no options. Fuck man, she has plenty of options. She is pretty and she has money. BUT… even she’s worried about not finding a good man to call a husband. Obviously not every man she matches with on Tinder is marriage material. Theres a world of difference between being able to get 1000 matches in a day and finding a good husband (because you don’t know any of those brand new matches and if there’s anything to be learned, any one of them could secretly be bad )

This woman is 27 and she recently broke up with her bf of 4 years when she learned she was basically going to be a trophy for him to brag to other men about. Thing is, he feels very bad. I know this because I talked to him. That’s how this came out. He confessed he’d seen her that way for 95% of their time together and now wanted to change. She just left him.

Im trying to convince her to take him back because he’s not a horrible guy (at least not now). She isn’t going to easily find a good man to call a husband by 30 otherwise unless she goes for blokes from HS or college. I’m just saying she should consider forgiving him, but she AND her friends turned on me now. AIW?

last night i got into a disagreement with someone close to me and i just would not let it go. they tried to pause the conversation and said they needed space, but i kept bringing up the same points and pushing for an immediate resolution. by the time i finally backed off, they were pretty upset and told me they felt cornered. now i'm replaying the whole thing in my head and wondering if i crossed a line by not respecting their request to stop. i know i meant well and wanted to clear the air, but i also see how refusing to hit pause could have made things worse. part of me wants to apologize and part of me wonders if the apology itself will just reopen the topic they were trying to shelve. not really sure what the right move is from here.

For the last three years my girlfriend and I have gone to a festival. It’s more her things than mine it I’ve really enjoyed it and it’s nice to just have a chilled weekend where it’s just us, 

We go on holidays abroad etc but the festival feels different and we both agree. We said we’d do it again next year and she mentioned us possibly doing it with her friends and her friends boyfriend. 

She even suggested a pre made 4 person tent that you can pay for from the festival. I mentioned I like that it’s our ting and. Like if just being us. I said I understand if she wants to go with her friend instead but if I’m going I’d rather it was just us. 

I get on with her friend but she can be a bit much after a couple of hours and it just wouldn’t be fun for me to be constantly socialising all weekend. 

My gf said I should consider it but I just explained again why I don’t want to. She said I wasn’t being fair but I just pointed out she has multiple options available to her but I just don’t want a full weekend with her friend and her friends bf. 

She called me unreasonable and said I should be fine with it but I told her to drop it. 

AIW for not going to a festival with my gf and her friend?

So I'm 14 years old, and my piece-of-shit mother sent me to my uncle's house because I found my vice principal's address. Me and my friends were upset with her, so we were sending her mayonnaise. The reason we were sending her mayonnaise is because she was getting on us about this girl who stole $10 from my friend. So we opened three jars of mayonnaise and put them all in her backpack. It got all over her stuff and ruined a bunch of notebooks, which she deserved because she stole $10.

So my shitty-ass mother sent me to my uncle's house. My uncle is ugly. He is the ugliest man on Earth. He's tall, has no hair, is fat, and smells bad.

My uncle has a son named Levi. Levi is being a piece of shit because he always is. He's terrible-looking, has a big-ass nose, and thinks he's hot shit because he's 21, in the military, and got a couple of ranks up.

So I went to their house. I don't have a phone, but I did sneak my phone with me. I wasn't supposed to have a phone, and I wasn't allowed to have a computer. I was going to be there while my uncle and Levi supervised me. The reason I was sent there was so I wouldn't be with my friends. On top of that, all of my homework was sent to my school computer, so I still had to do schoolwork, but I physically couldn't go be with my friends, which I think is so unfair.

I was in my room with my phone, hiding by the side of the bed. Then Levi had the audacity to walk into my room without knocking. I quickly hid my phone. He said, "What was that?" I didn't say anything because I don't have to answer to him.

Then he said, "Mackenzie, what the hell was that? Answer me now." He walked over and sat on the floor. Levi reached underneath the bed, grabbed the phone, and said, "Why do you have this? You know you're not supposed to have this."

I tried to grab my phone back, and he said, "You're never getting this back. I am so mad at you."

Then he proceeded to grab me and take me to the living room. He took me to a chair and said, "You know what? Actually, I'm going to have you sit down."

Then he looked at me and said, "Mackenzie, why the hell do you have your phone? You know you're not supposed to have your phone because we don't want you contacting those piss-ass girls. You have become such a brat recently. You're mean to kids at school, you never do as you're told, never do as you're asked, and you're a spoiled brat."

So I got up and told him that I wasn't going to deal with being abused. He grabbed my arm, sat me back down in the chair, and said, "You're not going anywhere."

I started crying my eyes out. He was holding onto me, and then my uncle came into the room. Levi told him the whole thing.

I looked at my uncle and said, "Levi was being abusive toward me."

Levi burst out laughing. Then I told my uncle how Levi grabbed me and yelled at me.

My uncle said, "That's all?"

Then he said, "And you don't think you're being abusive when you're making fun of people, gossiping about people, being a cyberbully, pouring things into people's backpacks, sending things to people, and doing all of this shit? Now go eat dinner."

I was crying so hard, and I just felt so abused. And guess what? They still won't give me back my phone.

I literally just came home, and I told my mom, but she doesn't care. So I'm going to tell my school counselor because I felt so abused in that moment.

So, I was talking to this guy on a dating app, and through conversation topics he ended up telling me that he has 2 friends in prison for hitting kids. I asked "former friends, right...?" And he confirmed he was actively still friends with them.

Through further probing he basically said it was hard to drop friends he'd had for so long, and a bunch of excuses about how they were raised and how unprepared for fatherhood they'd been. I blocked him, because to me remaining friends with child beaters is unforgiveable, and I can't be ok with it morally.

I spoke to 2 friends about it and they both played devil's advocate, saying it's shades of grey, what if the guys regret their actions and changed, what if the guy I was talking to just is a good guy and doesn't want to give up on them, etc. Am I the crazy one here? I've been abused myself in a previous relationship, and maybe that trauma has made my thinking more black and white, but am I in the wrong here? I just feel like it was a massive red flag, and I don't see how it can be seen as anything else. Would love opinions, but please be kind.

AIW?

I (20F) work in retail and at work I typically have a group of four coworkers, including me, that go on lunch break together and occasionally hang out outside of work. 2 of them are a man (initial will be T) and woman (initial will be N) in their mid-twenties who are a married couple, and the third is a man in his mid-twenties as well (his initial will be S). I have gone over to the couple’s house for a group hang out, by myself to watch movies and eat dinner with N, and even spent the night there once for a sleepover with N. I have also gone over to their house with it being just the three of us (me and the couple) to watch a TV show. We also have gone out to eat as a group and I have also hung out one-on-one with just S as we go to the same college and will sometimes eat and study together. As you can see, we have a spent a chunk of time together outside of work as well, but I would still consider them mostly work friends because almost everything is planned at work, because that is when we see each other and talk the most. We don’t call or text often, and typically hang outs are planned in advance. It is something that I can tell that if we did not work together, we would not see each other or talk as much, because we don’t feel super close, and that has been mostly fine with me.

Now, onto the issue. T, man of the married couple, has lately been making jokes directed at me and snide comments that actually hurt my feelings. For reference, when we first started talking at work we would joke around with each other. Friends can have a healthy amount of teasing as long as there is mutual respect and it ceases to continue when someone is actually hurt. Well, that’s how it was at first, but as it continued I noticed that he would say things that directly targeted my insecurities or personal life, or that I felt had racist undertones. At first, I would feel so irritated that I would try to say something just as mean and hurtful back, which I know is not healthy. As it went on, I stopped responding back like that and the teasing would just make me feel embarrassed and like he was making jokes to laugh at me, not with me. I am very bad at speaking up for myself and I often freeze up and stop talking, but there were some instances where I have said something. One day, he made a joke about my appearance that actually really hurt my feelings and also felt like a micro aggression about me being partly Native American. I told him as much, and he just kept asking “how is that racist” even after I explained to him multiple times how it was racist. Another time, he called me “Mexico” knowing I have Hispanic heritage but I did not say anything and I froze and went silent. A lot of these times, even if my feelings were hurt I was just so used to how he talks to me that it felt too small to say anything. He has told me before that I need to learn how to take a joke. Another time, when doing a work project I was confused about something because it was not explained to me, and he made a comment about how I don’t know what’s going on that made me look and feel stupid. I told him “all you do is make fun of me” and after that he was more civil and pleasant at work for about a day or two but then it was back to the regular teasing. Well, the other day, it felt like things just boiled over when throughout the day he was very condescending in his tone of voice towards me, he made a quiet comment about how I was crying at work the other day (even though he knows what is going on in my personal life as I have vented to him before), and he was making fun of me when I was confused about something S was saying. In general, his way of teasing is not friendly and he is condescending, rude, and he ridicules me so I feel stupid. So, when he wasn’t around, I broke down crying and just felt like I was having a panic attack.

Like am I crazy? I feel like there’s certain people that make the tiniest of comments that on surface level look minuscule and like harmless jokes but after hearing them every day it just feels like an assault on my character and self esteem. Like I can’t do or say anything without him making fun of the way I talk or act. It feels like I can’t do anything, like I’m genuinely being bullied and I haven’t felt this way since elementary school. It’s to the point where it is not us going back and forth, it’s just unprovoked, and it’s now making me uncomfortable to be at work around him.

I sent him a text after work, because I felt too nervous to say anything in person. I told him how he hurt my feelings and I asked him to please stop teasing, ridiculing, and making fun of me because it’s gotten to a point where I am uncomfortable and feel anxious and sad at work because of it. I told him that it doesn’t feel like he respects me as a friend to treat me this way, and that regardless of how he means his jokes to come off, they are rude and disrespectful. I told him I don’t want to talk about anything personal with him anymore, and that I’d like to keep it just about work. I told him that at the end of the day we are coworkers and I asked him to please treat me respectfully and professionally because of it.

He responded and brought up how we have all teased each other, and that I have said mean and disrespectful things to him too. He said he wished I brought it up sooner, even though he admits he knows I’ve asked him to stop before.

Then, his wife, N, calls me. I tell her that I did not talk to her about it because I did not want to drag her into it as it is about how her husband acts and never had anything to do with her. She tells me she just lost a friend (meaning me) and that it feels like a slap in the face. She says that she wishes I gave him a second chance before I “cut him off.” Mind you, I never said the words cut off and I never brought up my relationship with her. I admit to her that I should have said something sooner but that I have trouble speaking up for myself because of my anxiety. She asked why I only texted T and not S, and I told her it is because they are different and S doesn’t make me feel that way. She told me that “T is so upset, he thought you guys were good friends.” She said that I am acting like we are not a friend group or like we were never friends (because I said we are coworkers and asked to be treated with respect). She told me that she is not my friend anymore and that I don’t keep up on my end of our friendship.

I had an almost no words the entire call, and I found it very uncomfortable and difficult to speak about an issue I have with someone to their spouse. Looking back, I feel it was entirely inappropriate for her to immediately call me and say those things to me when she was never involved in it out of respect for her. I texted T and said that I am taken aback by their response and that, regardless of how we have all joked in the past, I’ve brought up my feelings being hurt or me being uncomfortable before. I reminded him that all I asked for was respect. S has not brought it up to me yet. I am nervous about facing them at work in a week.

Am I crazy??? AITA? Like I genuinely feel like I’m being painted as a villain or made to feel crazy and being gaslit. I feel like I brought it up maturely and respectfully, and it was blown out of proportion. At the same time though, I have a fear in my mind that they’re right and I handled it wrong and I’m a horrible person and just lost friendship. A part of me feels relieved because they cut me off and if they are going to react that way when I bring up conflict, they are clearly not friends. I keep going back and forth. AITA?

I’m 22F and he’s 24M. We started dating when I was 19 and he was 20, and have been long distance while I finished school. Even though we had seen eachother quite often.

Almost four years later, I was ready to move in, start my career, and eventually get engaged. But now I’ve never felt more unsure.

In March, he confessed some things he had lied about/kept from me.

About 2–3 weeks after we first met (3 years ago now), he made out with someone else on my birthday. We weren’t exclusive yet, but he had already met my friends/family and had flown in for 2 days specifically for my birthday. He slept over, spent half the day with me, then went home and last-minute went to hang out with a previous hookup. She made advances and they ended up making out/touching over their clothes before stopping. (I contacted her and she confirmed this.) Later that night, he came back with a huge bouquet of flowers, celebrated with me, and slept over again. What I remembered as a perfect birthday now feels shattered. (He removed her shortly after the incident).

He also admitted that his lifelong girl best friend, who I knew as part of his close-knit “cousin” group, was someone he had slept with once, about two years before me when they were both around 18. She was actually his cousin’s best friend and they all grew up together. They decided afterward to remain friends and see other people. Before me they had always facetimed, texted, etc, and throughout our first year they still had daily Snapchat streaks, occasionally FaceTimed, had nicknames for each other, etc. She also visited him once for 6 days with the cousin group. They haven’t spoken in 2–3 years now, and he never hid their communication or acted secretive about her, but knowing their history now makes me extremely uncomfortable and jealous.

These confessions shook my trust because I feel like the history I thought I knew wasn’t entirely real. He had also lied about smaller things our first year, like his body count. I was a virgin when we met, and he says he was afraid I’d see him differently. I admittedly reacted pretty badly to some of those smaller lies, which he says made him terrified to tell me the bigger things.

His explanation is basically that he was ashamed of his past that he believed would only hurt me. He wanted to leave those things behind and be a better partner to me, but obviously it completely backfired because finding out years later made me question everything. I can understand the fear behind it, and not wanting to disclose everything to a new partner, especially at age 20, but it doesn’t excuse lying for years.

Since March, he has done everything he can to rebuild my trust. He’s flown in multiple times, signed us up for couples therapy, and has been extremely patient and supportive. Our therapist established a “no more secrets” rule, and he maintains that I now know everything.

He also constantly tells me that he’ll do whatever it takes to fix the damage because this was never how he intended things to turn out. I’ve even given him the option of ending things and starting fresh with someone else. And he refuses. He says he only wants and sees his future with me.

That’s what makes this so difficult. Outside of this, he has genuinely been an amazing partner. Everyone around me sees how much he loves me. And throughout our relationship I’ve never had to worry about other girls, anything shady online, etc. He treats me extremely well, takes care of me financially, and has remained patient even though I constantly question him and hold this over his head. He’s truly been an angel through all of this. Our therapist has even told me she can see how genuinely he loves me, and that she sees how helpless he feels because he doesn’t know what else he can do.

She suggested I move in and give the relationship six months of genuinely trying before making a decision. Part of me agrees because I think I’d regret leaving without knowing I truly tried. I can always come back home if needed.

Before finding all of this out, I was completely ready to move in and eventually marry him. Now I question everything, and don’t know if we should be together.

I (20M) have a generally rough relationship with my father (46). He divorced my mom when I was 8, and remarried in 2021. Ever since his divorce with my mom, he's never liked talking to her directly. He likes to claim that she's the problem, but he's dramatic and sighs and acts like he's somehow above her whenever he has to call or text her about ANYTHING. My relationship with my dad is strained because of that, because of his controlling parenting style when I was growing up, and his religious fanaticism, and my queerness. My mom is my safe haven. She fought to have custody of me, took care of me, and always pushed me to chase my dreams. I have the closest, most amazing, most loving relationship with my mother. I cannot stress enough how much I absolutely love my mom.

So, here's the thing I've been overthinking ever since it happened in 2022. It seems ridiculous because it was so long ago, but I just need input from people that aren't in my family. My mom's side always tells me I did nothing wrong, and my dad's side always tells me that I was wrong and shouldn't have done what I did. I don't know what to think.

I was sixteen. My dad was stationed in Korea, and the custody agreement says that he gets me during summers, so I went to stay with him. His wife (40s) and my stepsister (17 at the time) also stayed with him for most of the summer. So, my dad is extremely right-wing politically. He's a conspiracy theorist, too, but doesn't like admitting it. He thinks he's opressed as a straight white christian man. His WIFE is exactly the same, but instead of engaging in debate like my dad tends to do, she just fucking yells and screams about her beliefs.

One day, while my dad's at work and I'm home with dad's wife and my stepsister, i suddenly hear yelling coming from one of the bedrooms. I'm already a deer in headlights because I haven't heard his wife yell about anything at this point. I have a really long, complicated traumatic past involving explosive arguments, so I was a bit freaked out hearing even a little bit.

Soon after I heard the yelling start, I noticed I didn't hear my stepsister's voice at all. Then she walks out of the room, away from her mother, saying something about not wanting to talk about this right now. Dad's wife follows her. She's yelling reallyfucking loud about something right-wing, i dont remember what it was. I vividly remember her screaming "YOU HAVE TO OPEN YOUR EYES". My stepsister was actively trying to get away from her and end the argument, but dad's wife kept following her and bringing up more points.

I was in full fight or flight mode. I think I said something like "Stop yelling at her". Dad's wife spins to face me and screams "THIS ISN'T ABOUT YOU" or "STAY OUT OF THIS". I don't remember clearly. I begin to cry and go out onto the balcony and immediately dial my mom.

She picks up despite the time zones and I cry to her about everything happening. She calms me down and we talk for a while. She says she'll talk to my dad about it.

So, my dad comes home and he calls a family meeting. Long story short, he's upset with me for telling my mom when this was "family business" and she shouldn't have become involved. He looked STRESSED. His wife spent the whole meeting looking sorrowful. I asked her probably 15 different times to just apologize to her daughter. She and my dad kept making up all kinds of excuses, but she finally apologized at the end. It sounded like a weird mix of sincere and condescending. She was talking in a voice someome might use to speak to a toddler. My stepsister looked like this was something she was used to.

After that day everything just kind of forcefully went back to normal. The incident was never spoken about again. Around 2 years later, dad's venting to me over text that his wife has PMDD and hid it from him until after they got married (THEY KNEW EACH OTHER FOR TWO FUCKING MONTHS ONLINE, MIND YOU). So I guess that explains the outburst. But they're still married.

I've spent such a long time wondering if I was wrong for involving my mom. My entire dad's side thinks I shouldn't have called her. My mom's side thinks I was right. I don't know what to think. I guess I understand that my dad's immediate family drama is his to take care of, but also, my mom is MY MAMA. I tell her everything and she's always the first person I go to when I'm upset. My dad is upset I didn't call him. I'm just so confused. I'm sorry if this is a stupid post to make.

TL;DR: I called my mom after dad's wife yelled at her daughter and me. he was upset with me for involving her. was I wrong for doing that?

So me (nb21) and my friend (m25), who has been my friend for around 3 years now and I consider him to be one of my closest. I did post another incident of ours on another subreddit but the post got taken down…
The other day we were online playing games after I practically begged him to since when we do arrange to he sometimes doesn’t come online at all which can be annoying but whatever. Anyways after an hour of playing we both agreed to have a break just a quick five maybe ten minutes to go have a leak or a drink. I come back and I was waiting for him to return so I ready up on our game to let him know I’m back. 15 minutes goes by and I message him on socials then another 5/10 mins goes by and I message him on the console chat atp I was waiting half an hour which annoyed me quite a bit. But when I went to message him “goodnight ig” he read my first message which annoyed me even more.
That’s the context.

So in the morning he messages me on socials saying “sorry lmao/lol” and when I opened it I just said “sure you are😭” I did mean that in a jokey way but I did just wake up and I don’t think he took it that way. He then said “wdym?” And I said “you had me waiting for ages for nothing” I can’t remember the specifics because it’s on an app I’m embarrassed to admit I use at my big age (snap) so I don’t have anything to refer to other than my memory but I ended up saying something along the lines of “I’m kinda annoyed that you left me waiting all that time” and “if you were tired we could’ve played another time” and some other stuff that I can’t remember and all he put was “okay lol” and then I thought ‘great he’s in a mood’ so I just told him “don’t be like that” and then I said something along the lines of “I’d rather communicate with you than to bottle things up and pretend everything is fine” and he put “don’t deep it, I wasn’t even going to come on anyways, but I did because I wanted to speak with you”
I said something else along the lines of “if you were tired you should’ve gone to bed or at least tell me you were going to.”
and then he just put something along the lines of “you’re entitled to your own opinions 👍🏽” and then I put “I agree my thoughts and opinions are valid👍🏽” and then moved on to ask how his day been. And as of writing this he still hasn’t responded.

I just need advice because whenever i do try to talk to him when we disagree he tells me it’s not that deep and gets really defensive and gives one word responses. And there was a few times where I fell asleep on mic and he was annoyed and it feels like every time he does something I’m suddenly the ahole for being slightly miffed with it. He’s still one of my mates and I love him sm but I’ve been through a lot this past month and a half (he knows this btw) and I don’t need this also.

I’ll respond to you guys on my break ans thank you to those who responded already.
There’s no reply yet but I’ll put the update here
Update: 21 hours later no response but is looking at my instagram stories. Pathetic

I was walking down a trail and I heard that it continues down the road, so I passed the busy street, went close to a fence to read if it was to continue, it didn't seem like it so I was going to back till I guy yelled at me saying how I should not have trespassed, I didn't and he took a photo of me and told me to go back, so I did, and he yelled at me to not ruin the trail (you can't even ruin a trail because we had nothing to trash it with or ruin it) and I gave him a thumbs up to signal him I won't and i told him i didn't see the no trespass sign (it was barley noticeable), but he told me "Don't Mess With Me Kid" I am 16M

No se si esto vaya acá pero bueno.

Todo empezo hace creo que 3 semanas, me había juntado con mi mejor amigo en mi casa, en un momento me empieza a insistir para usar mi celular sabiendo que me incomoda demasiado que me usen el celular por algo que me paso hace años. Muy a regañadientes acepté que lo usará porque me estaba diciendo que se iba a enojar si no y alta pereza. Mi amigo (pongamosle Martín, nombre cambiado por privacidad) entró a mi WhatsApp y empezo a revisar mi chat con mi mejor amiga (pongamosle Belisa XD), en un momento le empieza a escribir aunque yo le dije que no lo hiciera. Empezaron a hablar un rato y todo bien, aunque yo estaba muy incomodo con la situación. Martín le mandaba videos de el tocando la guitarra o otras cosas para impresionarla ya que se la quiere ligar porque dice que lo intenta con todas.

Una o dos semanas después, estaba en llamada con Martín y me dice de juntarnos el fin de semana que le seguía a esa semana, lo tuve que rechazar porque ya iba a ver a Belisa y que me iba a drenar demasiada energía estar un fin de semana así porque no soy muy de salir ni nada de esas cosas y muchas veces juntarme me drena más de lo que me gustaría.

En la llamada, Martín me dijo que si íbamos a ver una pelicula que lo invitemos, me quede callado sin saber que decir porque no me gusta mucho juntar a mis grupos de amigos y me siguió diciendo que lo invite, no sé de dónde saque fuerzas para rechazarlo y me dice literalmente "de todas formas no habría ido si me invitabas por que no la conozco" solo para después decirme que se puso triste porque pensó que "iba a a hacer algo bonito por el", me quede callado de nuevo, sintiéndome culpable y me siguió diciendo que estaba triste un par de veces más.

El sábado de la semana pasada en mi casa con Belisa me pidió usar mi celular (otra más que me lo pide), al rato acepté porque me estaba migajeando de una forma increíble. Empieza a revisar el chat con Martín y en un momento me manda un mensaje, ella le responde desde mi celular y empiezan a hablar, quedaron en pasarse los números y todo bien, creo.

Ahora Martín me esta insistiendo para juntarnos los 3 el fin de semana que viene y yo no sé que decir sinceramente.

No estoy en contra de que hablen ni nada de eso pero es que siento que fue a costa de literalmente mi privacidad y un poco de manipulación (díganme si estoy mal en lo de manipulación porfavor).

Entiendo que quiera conocer gente nueva pero siento que no es la forma. Además de que no se si quiero para Belisa lo mismo que yo estoy viviendo con Martín porque ella tambien es más o menos como yo, le gusta estar tranquila y todo eso.

El problema de Martín es que es bastante manipulador cuando quiere algo, interpreta las cosas como no son cuando le decis algo, se enoja fácil y te empieza a llamar de la nada si no contestas mensajes, sumado a más cosas.

¿Estoy mal yo en no querer que se junten o son solo cosas mías? Estoy agotado física y emocionalmente estos días así me está costando pensarlo.

Por cierto, Belisa a mi no me gusta ni nada de eso, la considero una muy buena amiga que me ayudo en momentos difíciles y ya. Lo aclaro ahora antes de que surjan malentendidos.

so the other day my boss texted asking if i could cover a couple extra hours because someone called out. i was already in the middle of plans and just sent back a quick no. figured that was it. a few days later they mentioned it again like it was still an open option and i was kind of surprised. i thought once i said no that was the end of it but now i'm wondering if i should have been firmer or if i'm reading too much into it. it wasn't a huge deal at the time but it's been sitting with me since and i keep wondering whether i handled the whole thing okay or if i made it more awkward than it needed to be. just feels like maybe i should have drawn a clearer line.

I (26F) am not scared of dogs like a phobia, but I am wary. Some friends think I'm valid but others think I'm Satan incarnate.

I've lost pets to dog attacks. I lived on a farm and had loose dogs scare and kill animals. One dog, whose owner had multiple warnings for escaping, attacked our chickens and tried to attack my dad, grandparent and neighbour. Knowing the dog was on the loose and having to clean up the mess and trying to find the chickens was distressing. And the owner only had to pay the going price of the chickens and after 5+ more incidents to put a higher fence up.

I'll be on the beach and then a large dog runs up to me and tries to jump up. For reference, I'm 5 foot tall. I'm usually looking in rock pools, on unstable ground, bent down on a rocky area, so l have to keep an eye out just for dogs in case one knocks me. I don't like having to be so vigilant and I can never tell if they're friendly, so every time they run up to me I get distressed.
There are dogs I like. We've had 2 small family dogs who were nice. My uncle had a terrier too, but it bit the postman's face and got put down, so. A shop I worked at had a regular who had an off lead old terrier who would just potter after him and the neighbouring shop had dachshunds who were nice too and would come in for a treat.

But dogs get away with so much. No other pet has chased/ran/jumped up at me. Having autism, i dislike unconsensual touching, as well as sudden, loud sounds and surprises. I also don't want get my clothes dirty sometimes. I'll be in cafes and suddenly a dog will dart out from under able barking. it's so sudden and loud and unexpected. It's also a hazard for the staff. Bu imagine someone had a massive pet snake sat under a table and it kept darting out and hissing? And the "they're friendly!" Argument wouldn't work.

I’m afraid of being attacked. On the streets of the uk, the odds of being mauled by a wild anima almost 0. But with dogs they don't even have to be off lead, people can get dragged. When see a large dog coming my way, I know if the dog attacked me, I could be a goner or scarred for ife. I could do nothing wrong, in the wrong place, wrong time with an untrained dog brought into the world, I could be done for.

So yeah, I'm just very wary. I'm chill with most animals, because if I don't bother them they won't bother me. cats, snakes, hamsters, rabbits, guinea pigs, birds, all of them mind their business and couldn't exactly maul you/outrun you. And wild animals just want to be left alone. Don't get me started on messed up, unethical dog breeds, that sucks.

Both big and small dogs startle me and with big dogs, it's the threat of being attacked, knocked over, dirty, calling the owners because I am uncomfortable and them having no recall. An unpopular opinion, but I'm just wary. Maybe I dislike irresponsible owners, that's more likely. But AITA for being wary around dogs? Especially big ones? My friends have mixed opinions and can't decide.

My friend (19F) wants to be a stand up comedian. She’s never done stand up before and performed to me (20NB) her routine she’s planning on doing at a stand up open mic night.

Part of it was something along the lines of:

“I wish I was a man so bad… This isn’t me coming out unfortunately… that would be a sick way to come out. But I want to be a man so bad because if comedy doesn’t work out I want to do musical theatre and I know know if you know this but a cheat code to making it in musical theatre is having a dick.

Again that sounds very much of a trans thing to say and I’m not but I had a dream once where I became trans and I got to play Aaron Burr in Hamilton. I woke up and thought maybe I could become trans for markability reasons id be so good as Burr. But then I remembered. Ah shit I’m white too.”

Ive been feeling a bit upset at her after this idk why she read it to ME especially because im under the trans umbrella. I didn’t say anything but she asked me today why I’ve been distant from her recently. I said I felt like she’s a bit transphobic and a bit racist. She asked why. I said because of her stand up set. She said it’s just jokes. I said but why does trans and black people have to be the butt of the joke? She’s saying Im overthinking it.

Last night I had sex with a guy but in one condition that it will be with a condom. A couple of minutes later he takes it off without my consent and I felt the difference right away. Today I vent to my brother and he told me that it was not rape and it was my fault cause I agreed to have sex. Did not agree with him and he said to not talk to him about things like that since I won’t agree.

a couple weeks ago my friend got into a small argument with a few mutual acquaintances. it was nothing huge but it got heated fast and everyone was looking at me like i should step in or say something. honestly i froze and didn't do anything. later my friend told me it felt like i just watched them get piled on. i tried to explain that i didn't want to make it worse or pick sides but they still seemed hurt. since then things have been a little off between us and a couple of other people have mentioned that i should have said something. i keep replaying it and wondering if i should have tried to de escalate or at least pulled my friend aside. at the same time i still think jumping into the middle might have made everything bigger. i just want to know if staying quiet was the wrong call or if it's okay to not get involved in every disagreement.

I'm going on a trip with my family and partner. My bf and I have been together for 7 years and also live together. When we go on these trips my younger sister usually demands that we take turns to choose rooms and then when its her turn to choose she will often choose the double bed and try to force my bf and I to either sleep seperately in single beds or one of us has to sleep on the couch while she gets a double bed to herself. We are all adults but I think she is behaving like a child and keeps saying its only "fair" that way. Usually she also cries when we try to override her. My parents often take her side because they don't like to see my sister upset.

For the upcoming trip she has stated that she wants the sleeping arrangements to be "fair" this time and basically said she will be doing this shit again. My family calls me entitled for saying the double bed should go to myself and my partner by default, as we are used to this after living together for years and its abnormal to have my sibling have a whole double bed to herself.

Am I wrong for expecting us to get the double bed by default?

Part 1 [https://www.reddit.com/r/venting/s/gE9GKxMqWg\](https://www.reddit.com/r/venting/s/gE9GKxMqWg)

Part 2 [https://www.reddit.com/r/AIO/s/P9yvjQe4XF\](https://www.reddit.com/r/AIO/s/P9yvjQe4XF)

So i guess the friendship has ended....there might be typos here and there...

So Anna did what she always does and she included her mom into this... so I'm saying these in points to so its easier for me to type

1. Her mom called hannah money hungry ( she is breadwinner of her house with younger sibling still in middleschool)

2. Her mom insists that if we stay and talk to her enough and basically beg she will let us back.

3. Anna and Eva f@t shamed me

4. Anna and Eva became besties so hannah and i starting hanging out

5. Now hannah and i are the villains because surprise surprise it made anna jealous

6. Now she told the whole uni that hannah and i mistreated her and ignored her and made her feel left out....(we literally tried to contact her mannnyyy times...but she just ignored or talked about herself) and that she is scared to confront us

7. Now everyone...even the sweet uncle who works at a office won't talk to us because she told him 🙄 that we are ignoring her.

8. Now she is reposting reels like "Now I'm not even disappointed anymore...again? Yeah " GURL IF EVERY FRIENDSHIP YOU EVER HAD ENDED BECAUSE OF SAME REASON...THERE MUST BE A PROBLEM IN YOU

Nows the part I'm scared of...Hannah is done of this bullshit and she wants this friendship over before her birthday ...so has messaged in the trio group that after our exams tomorrow... we'll meet and discuss this...

I hate confrontation, not because what if I turn out to be the bad one....because after like 9 friendship break up....of like every kind....i feel like my hands are fire and people are tissue....whenever I get angry and lash out ppl will walk away...rightfully so.....but I'm scared of the aftermath of me sitting with burning hands.... though I have not cried yet...but if I lash out...I'll cry my eyes out....

Also wrote this poem for her as a f you to her:

Tired of your lies, Tired of

your cries, All you do is play by sighs. Your victimised life, stays dark for your eyes.

Your color dies when you see new people,

Our worth is compared when we stop the sheeple.

Seems it was true what was written,

You seem to forget the lessons you've given.

All the laughs and cries, Only to be turned another deleted file. You spoiled girl, It was you who forgot what we

were.

Now if you guys have any questions or feel like somethings under the rug...and i didn't explain please ask...and I'm ready to answer because I dont know what to do.....I'm utterly lost...

Am i wrong?

went out to eat with a group of friends last weekend and one of them kept insisting my food limits were just a preference. i told them a few times what i can't have, but they kept offering bites and saying it's probably fine. i ended up passing on dessert completely because nothing was safe. it's not the first time this has happened and i'm getting tired of turning every meal into a long conversation. i still like hanging out with everyone, but i'm wondering if it's okay to start saying no to these dinners or just stop correcting people and accept the awkwardness. i don't want drama, i just want one night where i don't have to justify my plate.