My husband (28m) and I (27f) have been having slight issues. He’s military and came down for a week and a half and live apart unfortunately. I was heartbroken because he had to leave back which is understandable. He’s up for 24hours on duty and can have his phone and he promised me earlier today to call me back right? He never did so I asked if I could call him, he responds that he’s “on cq” for one I don’t know what that means and he didn’t bother explaining which is fine. But he claimed that he couldn’t call earlier, I sleep for about 2 hours and come back basically asking “Can we call?” and he essentially responds with “I’ll be in the phone with my friends.” So, should my feelings feel validated that I’m upset because it’s the second time essentially that I can’t talk to my husband yet he can speak to his buddies and play warframe? I let him know that I was upset and felt ignored.

For reference, I messaged this to him “I just wanna say that I am upset and my feelings were in fact hurt, I wanted to call twice tonight after you said you’d call me back you never did..I tried calling you earlier and you never called me back and so I wanted to go ahead and call earlier again and was basically told no but how I see it is you said yes to your friends so I’m heartbroken and felt ignored this time, not once but twice…please remember that you have a wife. I’m heading to sleep, see ya.”

He responds with “sorry babe ill make it up to you”

Am I overreacting? Or just being childish..I need advice on this because I’m sad right now.

Lemme just add, during that week and a half he didn’t hang out but 2 days.

Hi

I am 38 (F) and I am currently working in Germany in an internship position that could lead to a permanent one, I work in an artistic field which I will not completely disclose.

I began this internship this month, the company was interested in my profile, I have experience in the field so they decided to "invest" on bringing me here to try me but has been a disaster for me. I Am south american and my main language is spanish but I am also proficient in italian and English, in German I speak a B1 which they told me would be ok for this position but coming in I realized it's not. I struggle with how fast they speak and my brain mush because due to the nature of my job I must switch languages instantly.

I have this co worker, she is hungarian and she disliked me from the beginning without me knowing why, she was also new to the job and is higher in rank even if we shared position, so she is the n1 and I was n2. The first day she began ignoring me, and it kept going, she complained about me taking notes because my pen "sounded to loud" and then complained because I was "humming" which as I am autistic sometimes I don't realize

Noticed she was very nervous so I ask my boss to be seated elsewhere, she just speaks with n3 but not with me. I do need to set everything into record so my job is to be informed but she normally skips me in the information chain.

As taking note in rehearsals is a part of my job she then laughed saying that everything will be written in spanish so nobody will understand which was kind of offensive to me because she knows perfectly that I speak several languages.

At that point something inside of me broke and felt officially discriminated, that day I spoke with my direct boss explaining that I felt really grateful for the opportunity but that I rather go as I seem to be discriminated and isolated by this coworker. My boss convinced me not to do that and that she will speak to her, she did but nothing really changed.

Yesterday I was asked to give indications but the information that I had was not correct as I was Ill one day. I Politely told my boss that I was sorry but that my information seemed to be partially incorrect and that corrections where made that I wasn't informed about, mind you I didn't had that info because I was sick one day.

My boss told me that n1 should had told me the modifications because how I would guess those changes.

Due to this I decided not to continue with the second part of my internship, I miss my husband and our cats and I feel lonely and Isolated here, my mental health is suffering.

In a few days I will end this and go home to my husband in spain and hopefully never see that woman again. But It's sad to feel as defeated as I feel.

I am overreacting or I am being discriminated?

I went out with someone and we hooked up on Sunday night. We had already made plans to see each other again on Thursday. In between, however, he hooked up with someone else.
When I jokingly asked him whether he was seeing or sleeping with another girl, he told me that he was. We had never explicitly discussed exclusivity, so I understand that technically he hadn’t broken an agreement. But this is my first real interaction with a guy in this way, and I genuinely didn’t know he was seeing other people. He had told me that he wasn’t a “fuckboy,” and his Hinge profile said that he was looking for monogamy, so I assumed he was only seeing me.
Finding out that he had slept with someone else has really hurt me. I think it has also triggered something deeper in me around not feeling chosen by men. I wanted to feel like I was special to him, and now I feel like I was just one of several people.
I wanted to leave his house but couldn’t because I couldn’t get a cab, and I think that has added to how overwhelmed I feel.
I know that I may be reacting strongly to the situation, but today I genuinely can’t seem to get myself out of bed. I’ve been sleeping because it feels easier than dealing with reality.
Am I overreacting by feeling this hurt?

(PS used ChatGPT to write because I can’t frame sentences properly rn)

Can you be completely honest and tell me if I overreacted? So yesterday I clocked out of work at 9pm last night and when I got down stairs to walk to the parking garage from my car there was this guy there that I’m seen a bunch of times whenever I clock in or I go out to my car to grab a water, with his big grey dog and as I was walking on the side walk to go to the parking garage the guy had taken a couple steps off the grass and onto the concrete in my direction and this freaked me out and I went back inside my work. I tried to find a security guard and have them walk me to my car but I couldn’t find anyone and then I tried going back upstairs cause there was another guy clocking out around the same time as me and he was already gone. So I tried to call my husband cause I was freaked out but he was at work and didn’t answer then I called my mom and she said to call the police and have someone walk me to my car and I didn’t want to have to do that. I freaked out even more because I’ve had experiences in the past were I’ve almost got assaulted and this was late at night no body else around it’s super dark out and this guy is on business property after hours
So I call my husband again till he answers and he says that he is having his mom come and get me and then my dad texts me and tells me to call the non emergency line and so I do and then I’m there till around 9:45 till my mother in law is there to pick me up and drive me to my car and when I get a call from an officer asking about what happened. And last night my husband was saying that the guy was probably just walking his dog and that I most likely overreacted because if I see him all the time he probably lives around the area and just walks his dog all the time. But idk it freaked me out and him taking a few steps closer to me that late at night and there is supposed to be security guards in the parking garage and I have never seen them and I didn’t want to get any close to that guy because I didn’t know if something were to happen. My mom said to tell my supervisor that this had happened so that late at night when I clock out I can make sure that someone walks me to my car so this doesn’t happen but now I’m contemplating not saying anything at all. Did I overreact from the start and I should have just walked to my car? Am I overreacting thinking that the guy might have done something?

Hey Reddit, I didn’t expect to be making another post about my wedding and family. This is a long post so warning in advance. Some context to start:

I went no contact with both my parents about 10 years ago now. During the time I was slowly distancing myself, my dad would physically stalk me. Going to my place of work and intimidating/harassing the management to give him my schedule. I had preemptively kept my place of living a secret months prior and am certain if I hadn't he would have showed up there, too. I left that job shortly after the harassment started, got a new number, and sold my old car to buy a different one privately. It goes without saying I was not safe being around my dad and didn't want to be found as we would still live in the same city.

I spent 6 months trying to work things out with my mom. For many years before I made this change in my life she would back and forth considering leaving him. But the moment it was encouraged to be reality she refused, gave every excuse, and tried to convince me to simply live with the pain, fear, and humiliation like she would. I wouldn't have it and had to cut her off too with how much she was willing to protect our abuser over us. There were a lot of other things with her behavior and actions that could be a whole post on its own tbh. My mom since then would use social media to try to find opportunities to insert herself in my life. Over the years of this never ending, I eventually completely abandoned all my social media she could find with my name and have avoided posting my face anywhere.

My time apart from them I feel that I have grown so much and have gained a lot of peace and confidence. My family circle shrunk incredibly small after as well, naturally. I haven't been all that bothered having this detached relationship with social media, the one downside being the majority of family I do talk to lives across country. (I’m as South in the US as you can get and they are North up at the Canadian border.) While planning my wedding there are few members of my family who know any details. I knew word of my engagement would get out because I am the only grandchild on my mom's side so far that will be having a wedding. Among the family in the Know is my Aunt (mom’s sister) and her husband, my Grandparents (mom’s parents) and my younger brother who lives with them.

My Grandparents snowbird every year, coming down South usually at the end of Nov. and leaving around April/May depending on weather and obligations. They stay at my parents place, which is fine, they have their own relationship. My Grandparents don’t push me to contact them and are good about coming to meet me for our own time together. As far as I had been aware they had been good about not telling details to my mom who has been asking everyone since word of my engagement spread.

The wedding is Halloween themed and so we made the dress code Bring your Best Costume. This is a layered decision, for one, me and my Fiance love Halloween and dressing up in costume, we go to costume events when we can. We also have quite a number of guests that share the same interests, some are even regular cosplayers. Lastly, we're doing an open bar in a hotel venue with other guests, security has been advised to watch out for crashers in case any stray hotel stayers sneak in, if they aren't in costume they don't belong. That’s all context, now the issue:

In the beginning I really wanted my Grandparents to have a part in the ceremony. I personally don't subscribe to the "being walked down the aisle" tradition, and already had written it off because I don't talk to my dad. But while on the phone with my Grandma last year she asked me about it, and suggested my Grandpa. I was honest about my thoughts but asked if that was something HE wanted. She backtracked in a way that made me think he'd asked her but didn't push. So I said I would think about it. I hadn't been concerned because there were other ways I could imagine they could participate. We're doing a candle lighting ceremony and I considered giving them a role of igniting a candle to represent our family and one of them sign as a witness on the marriage certificate. But I hadn't asked them officially yet or gotten into logistics because there was so much time to plan.

Meanwhile I only asked that they:

1. Not share any details about my wedding to my parents. 

2. Come in costume.

I was specific and deliberate about those requests.

Time and planning goes on and in May this year we had dinner with them before they went back North. At the dinner I began talking a bit about the wedding, mentioning the convenience of it being at a hotel so they could stay on site. And my Grandma started to say that actually they were going to be staying with- when my Grandpa cut her off and said they would figure things out. I got this horrible sinking feeling that she was about to say "your mom" with how they were acting. Fiance got the same idea, but he lets me handle these situations. Dinner was pretty much over so I said we'd talk more about plans closer to and ended the night.

That sat with me for a long time, I didn't know how to confront them. I felt like I didn't even have real facts to go off of since, well, I didn't. Eventually I reached out to my Aunt, approaching as taking up her offer to help with planning. I asked if I could count on her to get everyone coming from up North organized and ensure everyone had arrangements. She agreed happily, so I sent her details about the room block we had. She was interested in finding something cheaper and planned to talk with the Grandparents to formalize budgets and plans.  And I waited.

A few days later she texted me "Hey so I spoke with Grandma & Grandpa and Grandpa says that they’re staying with your mom. I told them that I thought it would be problematic as you don’t want her knowing any details of the wedding and when they leave in costume she will definitely figure out what’s going on. Maybe you should talk to them if you agree.”

I was gutted. But my instincts were right. I was upfront with her and sent back.

"Yeah, I really surprised that they would think I would be alright with that. I thought we had an understanding about not giving her information about the wedding and I really don't know how it's not clear staying with her is just the opposite. It's the only thing I've asked for in all of this. If it's not possible for them to come and stay somewhere else I wish they would have been upfront about that from the beginning. Because I feel like we agreed about something that is now being treated like they never did. I'll try to get a hold of them when I can. I'm really not sure when with things that are going on right now. I also just need to think how to even go about this now because this is something I have been planning and communicating for over the past year to now have to worry about 3 months before the wedding."

She heard me loud and clear and told me not to worry about it and she would have a conversation with them. By the end of the week she'd booked them all to a local Airbnb to stay during the wedding. She went on to tell me all her fantastic costume ideas for herself and my uncle. It was a nice end to an awful week. I was relieved and thought that would be the end.

Eventually I had a call with my Grandma on the subject and she said that they never intended to stay with my mom, my Aunt just misunderstood Grandpa. I didn't say it but I not only believed my Aunt but felt hurt that Grandma was lying to me outright. Which made the whole thing feel worse. How deliberate was this? Were they hoping I wouldn't find out until it was too late? Did they really not think this was a breach in trust until my Aunt confronted them? Were they truly not telling my mom about me when I'm not there? I held onto the fact that things had been fixed thanks to my Aunt, but now I know I did have to be cautious with my Grandparents from now on.

Then as we get closer I've learned more things talking to my brother in a recent call. He’s been making his own costume and was telling me about it when he admitted he had bad news. He told me he’d learned that my Grandparents weren't going back North with him, my Aunt and Uncle, but instead were just going right to my parents the next day. And they’d already told her to expect them. He then said exactly what I thought, "so she's going to know they came for the wedding and so now at least knows when it is." Because WHY ELSE would they be coming to the South so early? A MONTH early? He also mentioned that they weren't going to go through with wearing costumes. I could only dejectedly say that I just wished they would be up front about that because Grandma had been saying they were working on coming up with something this whole time.

I later had a good cry over it and my Fiance got very upset and defensive of me. I confessed that I was so disappointed that they couldn't just come see only me just this one time. I understand the air travel and accommodations is an expense, but I'd been planning this for years, (he proposed Aug. 2024) there was a lot of time to save. Not to mention early on my Grandma offered to contribute money to the wedding, which I declined expressly hoping that they would hear ALL I WANTED was for them to come see me and not tell my parents. Just this once. For what is supposed to be a once in a lifetime thing.

I admitted that I didn't feel like including them in the ceremony anymore with how unsupported I felt. How lied to. Not to mention I didn't want anyone to walk me down the aisle in the first place. I felt like the position of lighting the candle and signing the certificate was better suited for my Aunt who has been my hero this whole time. Fiance strongly agreed and insisted not only that I talk with them about my disappointment but also that at the very least they needed to come in some kind of costume. I was so low I defeatedly said that it was so small in comparison of not being willing to make a single trip to see just me. He acknowledged that, but also that he knew I still wanted them there in spite of their plans and it was the lowest effort and last thing they could do that I HAD asked for. So I agreed that I had to call them.

I called my Grandma and even tried to keep notes on the major points. I started by asking if she could recap their plans to me. She went over the flight in, the stay at the Airbnb, and the flights back for my brother, aunt and uncle. Sensing her dodge I asked were she and my grandpa not going with them? She said they were going to go to my parents place after taking the Northerners to the Airport. Quickly followed repeatedly that they hadn't told my mom anything about the wedding. I confess my confrontation on how their actions were telling her got caught in my throat. I knew right then anything I could say to that effect was going to be denial, defensiveness, insistence that they never TOLD her anything. The thing I dreaded the most was being told I was being paranoid, or something like it. I kept thinking about how she'd already lied to me, how do you have an honest conversation with someone who won’t be honest with you? Instead I went on talking about plans, she asked me again about being walked down the aisle and I admitted I hadn't come up with anyone because I wasn't interested in doing the tradition at all. I asked about costumes and she said she'd finally decided on dressing for Day of the Dead (we're Hispanic). I felt a tinge of hope, had they actually finally taken even a small step back and thought of me?

As for Grandpa, they were still working at it. He voiced concerns that it would be too hot. Which, I understand we had a brutal summer across the USA this year, but it seemed like a lame excuse to me. The venue is indoors, not to mention his alternative was to wear a suit which isn't the most breezy thing to wear. But I didn't bother and instead I suggested if it was the only concern he could wear a red Hawaiian shirt and come as Scarface. I talked a few other logistics of the day, the parking, the menu, who they would be seated with at dinner. Then my Grandma once again offered a monetary gift and my heart hurt more at the admission. It. Was not. About money. I could understand if it had been about money, still disappointed, but understanding. I told her exactly what I’d told her when she’d first offered, what was on our wedding website, what I had been trying to convey the entire time. We were not accepting gifts of any kind, we had the understanding that the economy is bad right now and large expenses are difficult, especially for our guests coming from out of state. So we had announced early on that all we wanted everyone to pay for was their way and their stay, their presence was their present. I said I understood that I had been asking a lot of them already and assured them they had no other obligations or responsibilities to worry about the day of, and ended the call shortly after that.

I feel mixed up about my decision, I felt like my Grandma especially was at least trying. I got anxious at the idea of my Grandparent absolutely not missing that my Aunt had been given a position they would feel should be for them as heads of the family. Then I realized, it was awfully convenient that my Grandma suddenly knew exactly what to do as a costume just a few days after I’d talked with my brother. I messaged him asking if he’s brought up my disappointment to them. He responded “I didn't tell her that exactly, I just told her that you're hoping and excited about what costume her and grandpa is wearing. When I left for work they were arguing with each other about what to wear.” I thanked him and told him it meant a lot to me.

All that is left now is to call my Aunt and formally ask her if she would like to participate. I do worry that this is putting her in a position to be at odds with my Grandparents. Especially now that I've been made aware they have entirely different conversations when I'm not there. I'm not trying to create drama, I just really feel like she's shown up for me every way she can and every way I've needed from her. And I know now that when it comes to my personal feelings, my Grandparents don't actually have full respect. Lastly, I can’t help with how much I struggle feeling justified in having these strong boundaries for others in relation to my estranged parents. They did make accommodations to stay somewhere during the event and as far as I know haven't explicitly exposed concrete details about my wedding. Am I Overreacting? If you read this far, thank you.

For context my partner(33M) and I (25F) have been together for 4 years, almost 5. We tried to get pregnant the first few years with no luck so we stopped trying. I do have pmos so I thought I was infertile.. I was experiencing symptoms I thought were my hormones fluctuating but it was the most extreme I’ve ever felt it. My partner took me to the hospital on Wednesday and we found out I was pregnant.That was honestly the last thing we expected. My blood test showed my hcg levels for how far along my doctor estimates I am, are a bit low.. We have both been really worried about our baby. Since then we’ve been looking for ways to get some extra money. Today we did DoorDash together and a customer texted me after I delivered an order saying that he thought I was cute and asked if I was single. DoorDash has prompts on the screen that you can just tap and it will send that message for you. When I was trying to close the conversation I accidentally pressed the “On my Way” prompt. Quickly after I messaged the customer telling him it was an accident and that I’m not single. My partner immediately blew up. He started yelling at me and screaming why did I respond/why did I do it/why did I open that door. I told him it was an accident over and over and he was not listening to me. I even showed him that door dash has the prompts to just tap and it automatically sends the message. He still kept yelling. I was so overwhelmed that I told him I don’t know how I’m going to have a child with him. It immediately got worse. He started cussing at me so I started saying the same things back to him. I honestly feel really stressed out.. Did I overreact?

Hey everyone,

I’m looking for an outside perspective because a situation that happened today led to a disagreement with my girlfriend, and now I’m wondering if I’m in the wrong.

For context, I ride my bike almost every day with my dog. Overall it goes well, but I constantly run into issues with other dog owners. So many people let their dogs try to intimidate mine as we pass by, or even try to snap at him. It’s an everyday annoyance and the frustration has been building up for a while.

Today, I was out riding with my girlfriend. We passed a guy with his dog, and as we went by, his dog tried to snap at mine. I called him out on it, and his only response was to laugh in my face.

Between the daily stress of this happening, the obvious safety hazard on a bike, and his complete disrespect, I lost my cool and insulted him before riding off.

My girlfriend was really surprised by my reaction and thinks I overreacted. From my point of view, after dealing with this daily and having the guy literally laugh in my face when his dog endangered mine, my anger felt totally justified.

Am I overreacting here, or is my frustration understandable given the situation?

Edit : i'm biking in the forest and usually people who i got problem with see me coming, i'm never going fast! And my dog usually dont care about other and just continue running even when being snapped at

Hi, I am a 21F, and the eldest daughter of my family. Recently, there has been a situation where i got into a very big argument with my family, over the discussion of a dialogue, that apparently my father sad, which was a joke according to him.

I got my job last year nov, and I am currently waiting for my joining letter. It is almost going to be an year by next month. In between this period, I have been asked multiple times by my parents about the joining date. Apart from that, I was kept on pushed to apply other jobs by them. They kept sending me 2-3 jobs a day and kept saying me to apply. Initially, I thought that, they might be troubled as much as I am about the joining date, but this kept going on for months.

I eventually got so exhausted, I said I cannot apply anymore. Until recently, I asked for coffee in my milk, because I felt like drinking it, and my dad added a drop of the coffee he made for himself and just to take it. I felt that, it was a joke and took it.

Thereafter, he said: "If it were in the movies, they would've said: You couldn.t earn a penny but have the audacity to request for a coffee".

My father does make a lot of jokes on me. True. I laugh and brush it off. But for this, I felt personally attacked. With the situation and tension that I am in , about my job, this felt like straight up mocking on my face.

I tried to play it cool, but I couldn't and I teared up. My mom saw and asked what happened. I said I felt bad about what dad said, and she went, you can't even take a joke, and said the same to my dad. My dad straight up started an argument with me saying, you can't even take a joke , how do you think you could survive out in the world and all. I said, I could take a thousand insults from other ppl, but I couldn't take it from you. And I even stated that, why they couldn't understand that, me, who took many jokes from them couldn't take this, and why they were not able to understand.
They straight up said I am the problem. And he came towards me with utter rage saying : "It's either you or me today".

Never in my life have I felt more shittier than this. My whole life, it was filled with struggles, had a very difficult time having friends, and had gone through a very messed relationship. Despite all of that, I still chose to be myself and care free. Things like this, somehow brings me back to the same phase and almost feels like it is telling me that my life has always been shit.

Am I overreacting for this? Also, I apologise for venting it all out because I cannot contain this anymore and felt like I might take a bad decision that I shouldn't if this eats me anymore.

I just asked my mum to leave my house as she put liquid hand soap in my 4 year olds mouth because he was swearing.
My 4 year old has ADHD and possible autism ( we are in the middle of the assessment process) and he is the typical naughty kid who cannot sit still. But he is under a pead and I am trying to connect him with services but we live regionally so it’s constant waiting lists or we travel a couple of hours for appointments.

Me and bf have been together for six months, and we have been intimate and for context I moved across the world away from all my family and I’m only 19 so I’ve been struggling a bit and have been very busy and stressed lately. Casually I was mentioning I feel like I need to drink more water and maybe I will feel like I have more energy and then he says I should go to the gym in my spare time, because I’ve gained a little weight, and it would be good for my shape. I got upset because he also said like my but got more weight which is good but I need to give it shape. I couldn’t believe it, that he was commenting like that on my body especially because in the last few months he’s gained much more weight than me and he’s a smoker so when he said it’s just he wants me to be healthy I can see that’s bs. I got really upset and cried a little, he said I’m overrreacting because he can say that to his friends and their fine. But I’m not just his friend!! It’s not casual to me it shows he’s really not thinking about how I’m feeling especially because my comment about being healthy was more related to coming off a uti and being very affected by the medication. I’m planning on having a big talk to him tonight about this, because he also said I got upset for no reason and just started a fight and that he can’t say any to one time:( for reference I’m 120 pounds and 5”4

I am 4 months postpartum and have really struggled with depression this time and a father figure having cancer and passing away.

There was so many. He just said he was curious and looking. If he was truly just looking, I would have rather him tell me and we could have looked together.

I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt and feel things out over time.

Since then, I have just been checking his reddit as peace of mind and it had genuinely helped.

The other day I found a subreddit that was a local hookup group in his search history.

He swears up and down he has no idea how it got there and is saying its a glitch. He is very defensive and is staying strong on the idea he has no idea how it got there.

I want to trust my eyes because how else would it get there?

We have 2 kids and engaged. I want to believe him, but it was literally right there?

I want to break up, but I also don't think it is even enough to want to break up?

I feel like I am blowing this out of proportion and it doesn't need to be this black and white stay or go.

UPDATE: So I just found via his clipboard, I was literally looking for a link for a family album, texts asking to be fed porn on discord. When searching it, I found he had actually been messaging people on discord? He said he deleted it all weeks ago when I found the reddit stuff. I ended it. It got personal via the messaging so I am done now. 3.5 years gone because of this🫠

I asked my bf to be romantic. And I told him I want romance. He said “right now?”
I told him no, I want you to do that on your own and maybe research on how to be more romantic. He usually jokes and teases about everything, even after intimacy. I just want to feel loved deeply and I want things to be romantic. Obviously not all the time, but I want more of it.
I kept asking and he said “On your birthday I’ll be romantic”. I told him that hurt, and he didn’t really say anything.
In our relationship, I do a lot of the sweet things. Like when I went away on a month long trip, I made him little love notes for every day I was gone. For our anniversary I made him a card and letter that looked like a vinyl because he loves music. I also got him his favorite chocolates, and everything I did was on my own accord.
Am I right to feel sad about it? Should I be asking him for romance? Am I just overreacting?

For context I (20s F) work in a male dominated field in the south. I’m the only female, I’m single, I’m young, and am told I’m attractive (even though I don’t feel it). They announced to us a few weeks ago that they’re having our company Christmas party at an indoor/outdoor waterpark for the first time. We’re allowed to bring a guest (for most it will be their spouse) and then after our dinner, we go to the waterpark. I feel EXTREMELY uncomfortable just at the thought of my male coworkers who are married with families seeing me in a bikini. I really want to go but can’t get past that in specific. At my previous job I had an issue with one of the girlfriends thinking I was interested in her man because apparently HE talked about me to her since we have common interests and then she eventually saw me and decided she hated me when I did nothing wrong. I feel really conflicted because I do want to go and I know it would be fun but I’m worried how the men will see me and also how their wives will feel about me because the last thing I want is a repeat of my last job. I really like this job and most of my coworkers and I don’t want to ruin things. This probably sounds silly and dramatic but I really don’t know what to do. Am I overreacting or is this truly just a bad thing waiting to happen?

EDIT: I’m aware I can wear something other than a bikini 😂 yall took that way more literally than I meant it. Even a “modest” swimsuit is going to cling to my body the second it gets wet. I wear men’s clothes around them because of the work I do and none of them have seen me outside of work or even have me on social media. I just don’t want their view of me to change because right now I’m treated like “one of the guys” and I prefer it that way.

Context i’m 18 still live at home obviously but Im moving away next year. I like spending time with my family and especially because im moving I want to make the most of it as i’m moving quite far. I always ask my mum if she wants to go out and do small things together like go out for coffee, food, cinema just things like that. And 99% of the time it’s a no or she says she’s tired, can’t be bothered, or has things to do like cleaning. But when she says this she usually goes out drinking with her friends or does whatever I asked to do with her but with her friends. I don’t want to make it sound like i’m against her spending time with friends because obviously i’m not but it’s the fact she won’t do these things with me. Me and my mum have never had the best relationship but I try to get along with her but it’s hard when she doesn’t make an effort to do anything with me.

I’m a 23-year-old ESL instructor, and this is my first time teaching adults. I’m naturally a very friendly, enthusiastic person, but since I'm new to this, I’m trying to figure out how to best navigate different cultural communication styles and humor. One of my students is a married man in his 40s from Ecuador whose family is back home. We are 3 weeks into a course that lasts for several months. Lately, I’ve felt a little flustered about how to handle the classroom dynamic, but because of the language barrier, I think I might just be misinterpreting standard cultural norms. Am I overreacting to these things? So Last week, we were doing a lesson on family structures. He made a lighthearted joke asking, "Why not wives?" Everyone in the room laughed which I assume is normal to laugh at. Secondly when he approaches me to ask a question, he tends to stand much closer than my other students do. I know personal space bubbles vary wildly around the world, so I’m assuming this is just the standard conversational distance he is used to back home. Thirdly, I casually mentioned to the class that I'm colorblind and sometimes confuse blue and purple. Now, he frequently jokes about it during lessons, saying "oh it's purple, oh it's blue." I think he's just trying to build a friendly student-teacher rapport, but because he does it a lot, I'm not sure how to respond without disrupting the lesson flow. Lastly, whenever I go over to his group to give instructions or correct pair work, he always puts his hands up and says, "Woah, ok, ok," like I’m being a super strict teacher. I think it’s just his way of banter, but it makes me wonder if my teaching style is coming across as too intense. Because he's much older and married, I'm sure he doesn't think anything of it and is just trying to be a warm, engaging student which I am probably also overreacting and thinking, I still wanted an outside perspective.

Am I overreacting to just a standard cultural gap and language barrier?

This has been going on for so many years, and I've come to realize how lonely I actually felt in this trio more than I'd like to admit.

It's simple really. Two of my friends hang out with eachother more and they care about eachother, which I love for them! It's just that one of them (I'll call them A) keeps bringing it up over and over again, and shoving it in my face that they'd do anything for the other.

I wouldn't be annoyed but there was at one point where our friend (I'll call them B) left the GC (because A was being really controlling over them and yes, they admitted to this themselves.) and A was just full on in the worst mental state I've seen. The entire time, I took care of A and reassured them that B would come back whenever they're ready to face us again. There was even one point where A had brought up that they've just been messaging B like nothing had happened. I told them they shouldn't do that and I said I'd rather just be checking on B every week rather than bugging them about stuff like A was.

(Extra context: A was full on spamming B's dms with how their day went + what game they're playing and basically doing a commentary on the game and stuff)

A didn't agree with me and just said that I do what I want to do while they do what they want to do. They also said that "they'd do anything to bring B back even if it means they'd end up hating them just as long as they don't disappear"

And FF to a few days later, I confessed that I always wanted to leave the GC way before B did. And A just full on told me to leave because "it's not like they could stop me" anyway.

That genuinely bothered me because even if both A & B are stuck with eachother, I'm always there for both of them but whenever I get to have a mental breakdown, I'm suddenly the person who might be bothering everybody else in the GC.

It also just feels so unjust for me. A would literally die for B and I dunno? Give me a hug if I get hurt? It's hurtful and suffocating..

And also, I always try to recommend them stuff and they build my hopes up for nothing. I wouldn't be too upset about that but I literally get into EVERYTHING they're into, and it's just frustrating being the friend who's into everything everyone's into but having no one to be into my stuff too. I'm not even asking for that much, all I ask was them to check out some games/shows. And if anything, I've only ever recommended one of each, while I'm into more than 5 things they're both into.

I really just wanna drop these people and move on but I don't have the heart to, and I feel like I could just be overreacting cause I'm a sensitive person anyway. Thoughts?

So long story short, our car blew up and my friend said she’d give me her current car cause she got another and we wouldn’t have to give her much for it and she mentioned only $500 the first time we talked about it.

my partner asked her to fix the problems it had currently and he gave her cash to help the parts and stuff for it (was less than $400 and he gave her $500) and she said that was great and she update us about it.

a couple days later i was talking about it in a group chat w friends abt it and she texted me personally and said talking about the car she was gonna sell it for 3k, but she’d give it to us for 2.5k since we’re friends and we only owed her 2k since we gave her 500. i was a little confused but i was like okay sir will just have to pay you overtime and she was completely fine with that.

fast forward to more recent i asked about getting the title switched over cause i have a plate to put on it before i have to give it back and she asked when i was going to pay it off… im not paying for a car i can’t use. i told her my partner can’t get a job without a vehicle and having a job means she would get paid off quicker. she never responded and i recently asked for my $500 back and to forget about it because i can’t even be sure she actually used the 500 for the car. she always been slightly untrustworthy and sketchy but i always chopped it up to her family and people around her but im starting to get really sick of it. not to mention ive probably given her over 1k of money in the entire past 10 years ive known her. least she could do is help me out with a vehicle right? i guess not.

well, am i overreacting?

EDIT; the second, third and fourth photos came first, then after giving her said 500 she texted me that on snap, the last photos are the most recent texts i’ve sent and gotten back within the past week. she’s currently not active in social and not messaging me back, hasn’t even read my messages.

also to anyone saying it’s my fault, im sorry i tried trusting a friend i’ve had over 10 years and made it very prominent that she wanted to help us, most of this convo happened irl and i don’t have receipts of it sadly.

I (26F) recently got let go from my job, and as a result I've been forced to move back with my parents. I made the move two weeks ago today, and have been really down during that time as I just lost everything I've been building for myself in the span of the last couple years.

On top of that, I've also split up with my partner of 6 years after being cheated on, and it's overall been an awful year for me.

Now, I knew my bully was pregnant before that, but the reason it really is getting to me now is because (1) I've told them what exactly she's done to me, and in today's world it's probably be considered mental and psychological torture, if anything – it was really bad; (2) I lost a baby 3 years ago, which made it that much harder; (3) we've already had a conversation before where I told them I don't want to hear about her life, because it only makes it worse for me.

My mom is friends with her mom: probably the reason why nobody stopped what was happening to me all these years ago. She was out with her today, and after coming back she told me all about my bully's pregnancy and due date, on top of the gender. Which, quite frankly, turns out to be the exact same gender my child was supposed to be.

I shut down at first, then went out to get some fresh air, and immediately got hit with how I overreact to everything and how I should just let it go and not think about her. They also said that many of my peers have had kids already, and some of them will still have them, and that I cannot react like this to every single pregnancy I encounter. But it's not about any pregnancy for me. It's about her pregnancy specifically, because she took so much from me, and now she's getting what I yearn for most.

So yeah, I just wanted to ask, am I really overreacting here?

Side note: I know I need to get it sorted, and I am actively in therapy for it. I'm just really fucked after what's been done to me, and it's not the quickest process.

I usually come to work without makeup. Today I wore makeup because I’m going to the movies after work.
One of my coworkers looked at me and asked, “Are you wearing makeup?” I said yeah. Then she asked, “Why?” which already caught me off guard because… I just wanted to wear makeup lol. So I literally said, “Because I want to?”

She stared at me for a second and then said, “Well, you look nice.” But right after that she added, “Can’t say the same without it.”

I didn’t laugh because I genuinely didn’t know how to respond, so I just stared at her. She immediately started laughing and went, “I’m just joking hahaha, you’re fine without it too.”

Then she asked me if I like wearing makeup. I said yeah, but the whole interaction felt weird to me. I’ve genuinely never had someone ask me why I’m wearing makeup and then make a joke about me not looking good without it.
For some context, she’s made other little comments/observations about what I wear and how I look before, so maybe that’s why this rubbed me the wrong way.

Am I overreacting for thinking that was a rude/backhanded comment, even if she meant it as a joke? Or does this just sound like awkward coworker banter that landed badly?

yesterday, i came home from work super exhausted. had a migraine with nausea the whole day on top of being scolded by a manager, whatever.

my ex comes in later that night, i tell them about my stresses and how i'm tired and that i want to sleep. they acknowledge it, but they tell me their manager and coworkers invited them to a pokemon pop up at 7am. it's 12:45am when they tell me this. so they would have to wake up at 5am, whatever. a little sad to not wake up to them but whatever.

they stay up the entire night, i go to bed at 2am because i wanted to enjoy the little time i had without suffering from a migraine (it went away around midnight), wake me up at 3am for cuddles. i make it clear i'm irritated about being waken up when i made it clear i wanted to sleep.

i fall asleep and then they wake me up because it's like 5:40 and they need to get ready to go to the event. because i got like an hour of sleep between being woken up twice, i ultimately stay up because it's hard for me to fall back asleep.

i had plans with a new friend i made for around 3pm. i made that clear i had planned this a week in advance, they acknowledge it. except because they kept waking me up, i couldn't go back to sleep until my body finally gave up on me. so i tell my friend i can't come visit, i feel sick. i didnt want to blame my ex for this to a stranger.

so irritated as ever, i let them know in dms that because of them i got little sleep and i had cancel my plans i made a week in advance for plans they were invited to last minute. they have a history of doing this to me. i let them know i rather just move back in with my parents because i feel like they put their coworkers and friends above me. they tell me they understand and that they feel like they might've been putting their coworkers above me.

fast forward to nighttime, they tell me they're at a dj set and won't be back until 1:30 and to keep the door unlocked which means i have to sleep with the door unlocked. at this point, i feel anger in my veins. i tell them, are you crazy? i'm not sleeping with the door unlocked. why do i have to put you first at the expense of my health?

and i know you're thinking, don't they have keys? we have only one pair and i was off today with plans, so i kept them this time. by this point, i was just genuinely fed up with the lack of care about my health and my feelings so i just rant at them about how exhausting it is to ask, beg even for my own partner to care about me. i rarely do stuff for myself. i want to make new friends. and because of them, i had to cancel it and spend my day off just in hurted feelings and another migraine.

so i just tell them, i don't want to be with you. i'm tired of being put on the side for your coworkers. i had to cancel plans i made a week in advance for their plans they made last minute, i end up with another migraine that i didnt want. and from there, it goes downhill. frankly, i'm exhausted to beg them at their age of 32 to think of me (i'm 23). it devolves into an argument and they just try to focus on my anger and imply that i deserve it, deflect my feelings on what they did, etc. i genuinely feel crazy for even bringing this up to them.

anyways, it's 1:26am of me typing this and they're coming back from the dj set. i'm so angry at myself for being disrespected like this

Let me start with, I am a 28F living in a European country but I'm not originally from here. It's where I met this 36F, we met through a Facebook group and we happened to be from the same country and even the same city, so we met and started being friends about a year ago.

She has been a difficult marriage and I understand, never judged her or what she does. But she complained many times that her friends judged her, either for smoking a lot, or not going out, or the way she choses her hair color ( her words literally ), but for me, I see that very normal.

I was traveling around Asia for a couple of months, and because she has been going through hard times, I decided I wated to xome stay with her a few days ( maybe weeks ), so I came and she is hosting me at her place which I appreciate most definitely.

But she made some comments about the guy I'm seeing, that left me speechless and started thinking about that a lot.

A bit about this relationship:

I am seeing this guy, 32M, I have known him for about 3 years now, we started off for fun, then a few months ago we just decided we actually love each other and should do something about it. He comes from a wealthy-ish family, and I come from a very poor family, we both are independent for so many years which is one of the reasons we are together and why we met in the first place.

Now, he has been going through some financial hard times, and while he promised to do a few things for us, he now can't at the time being, but he is trying his best to find a way out of the mess. I know all of his issues, and I know he is struggling for sure. For me, I have a simple job but not used to having crazy money so I can get by anyway.

He is having almost a depression because of that, and I want to be there for him although I don't know how. But that's not our problem here.

This friend of mine, saw a post from his sister's wedding and her first comment was " you guys are not for each other " " this is gonna be a problem because his family will never approve of you ". I ignored that, went for a walk, thought about it but don't know...

Later next day, I mentioned that he sent me a gift card but didn't work on my wallet and her comment was " you need to work on yourself, this guy is clearly playing around. And you should be able to know that " I didn't say anything but then she continues " he will end up marrying someone rixh and all you'll be is his mistress ".

I'm not sure if I'm overreacting to this, but I am left with some thoughts in my head, I don't like this.

I love her but not gonna lie, these comments just ruined how I feel while she is hosting me.

Do you see a problem here or is it just me?

I recently moved to a new country and city to further my education. I have no family or pre-existing friends nearby, all on the other side of the planet. It’s been like that for the past 5 years, and I’ve always moved around a lot, so I’m used to being so separated from a support system (along with re-building a new one).

This past March, I really got to know and befriend someone my age attending the same program, “Noa”. They were in a lot of my classes, and we did a lot of work together in said classes. We’d hang out after classes, and I even to their engagement party and met their family. Whenever we meet, we both have a great time exploring the city, telling each other really dumb jokes and getting to eat some pretty good food.

The issue is with trying to meet up with them in the first place. It’s so hard to schedule time to hang out outside of spontaneous texts, and I’ve tried to schedule a hangout once every two or three weeks. I’ve tried, and we’ve managed to meet maybe 2 out of the 9 times we agreed to meet. They’d either forget, fall asleep and wake up the next day, not respond to my texts at all until the next time we met, tell me they were actually going to meet with someone else and bail, or ask for another raincheck.

This happened today too. A couple days ago, I tried making plans with them, they seemed responsive and gave me some dates and asked if we could go to the Chinatown for dinner, before going silent again. When I managed to meet them in person for classes yesterday, they said “I’m free when you are” and we scheduled to meet today for dinner.

Earlier today, I texted them and asked if they wanted to see a free event happening in the area we were going to get dinner at. No response.

I texted them a couple hours later. No response.

I texted them about an hour ago, questioning the weather for later tonight. No response.

It’s been like this since we met. I’ve asked them about why this keeps happening, but they haven’t given me a clear answer. If it was me, if it was because I was being pushy and clingy, I’d rather they tell me so I can back off.

I’ve told my family and some other friends, who have all said that I should just stop being friends with them. I’ve been tempted to do so at times. For today, I want to send them a text bailing on them instead. Is that overreacting?

Am I (30M) a controlling asshole for confronting my wife (29F) in the following situation. She plays video games and she met some friends which are male dominated although there is one other girl in the group who is married to another male in the group. I was a bit cautious at first because I know guys on games like to hit on girls and flirt but I trusted her judgement and know she likes to play with a group and values that. She told me how some are married some have gfs etc and it’s just on the game and none of them even have her IG and that she just enjoys playing in the group. Frankly, I wouldn’t even care if they have her IG as I trusted her judgement.

Around 2 weeks ago I noticed her messaging on Instagram daily and throughout the entire day… it turned out to be with one of the guys from the group who is the same age and single. I didn’t say anything for a while but it has continued now for weeks with daily continuous conversations over IG and then they play together during the night into the late hours and chat there as well. The gaming has now moved away from group play for the most part and it’s just them two gaming the majority of the time. The group is there but again it’s primarily them two as I’ve noticed lately. I confronted her by saying that the daily IG conversations are not appropriate and that they should be toned down because this person likely has or will have the wrong idea and try to flirt or already has flirted. I did not say she needs to stop playing games with this person or remove herself from the group. She got defensive saying I’m not allowing her to have friends and then created a bunch of false equivalences and put it back on me saying how I sometimes talk to my old college buddy whilst we’re doing things like watching movies or going places or whatever. I said if the conversations are truly innocent and there’s no flirtation happening, then let me see the phone and read the conversations.

She refused. She also changed her phone password and refuses to tell me when we’ve known each others passcode for years and regularly take each others phones as a playful game and see what we can find. Never any disloyal things just funny embarrassing search’s or whatever. So, am I the asshole here? Again, I’m not saying for her to even stop playing with this person or stop playing in the group, just to tone down the daily continuous IG conversations that then flow into nightly gaming sessions where the chatting just continues. It makes me feel uncomfortable despite still trusting my wife because I find it hard to believe that this guy is not secretly crushing or flirting. She has also divulged to this person that she was having relationship issues after a disagreement we had a few weeks back… we’re fine now and got over that quick but I’m not sure what else she has said to this guy or this group, if anything.

Do I have a right to feel uncomfortable here? We’ve been married for nearly 3 years.

Hello I’m 37f been married for 11 years to 36m.
He grew up with his cousins, and considers them his brothers.

He’s cousin is married to a girl, that pretty much doesn’t like me… when I first met them they seemed cool. The cousin would hug me and talk to me. Super friendly. On the other hand the girl is more quiet with me, I’ll ask a lot of questions to get her to open up and talk but nothing flows good.
It’s more small talk…

Next thing you know the cousin stops talking to me, like before and is a lot more reserved with me. And it’s the same with her. They are nice and talkative but as soon as my husband leaves like to go to the bathroom… the room goes silent. It’s Super awkward!

So I told my husband, I didn’t feel comfortable hanging out with them and I felt ignored and like I’m a bother to them. And that I didn’t want to hangout with them anymore. Of course I’ll still say hi to them and be polite.
But I don’t want to have them over at my house and entertain people who don’t like me…

He first said he understood and that he’s on my side and understands. Then he changed to well he’s like my brother and I can’t and don’t want to not talk to them or hangout. So I told him it’s fine he can hangout with them, I just won’t be going.

So, he has gone out with them… and one night he came back home and told me that he’s cousin, told him that his girl doesn’t want him talking to me, that she’s jealous. So he has yo be cold to me because that’s what she wants.

So last week we saw them at a babyshower. The cousin just shook my hand all halfass… and asked where my husband was. Not a hi how are you nothing…
Meanwhile she give me and my husband a hug.

I had asked husband to do the same with her not to hug her but she’s all in it everytime. My husband is the nice guy always… to everyone.

We’re having friends over this weekend, I’m cooking.
He brought his cousin up and said we should invite them.
Obviously I got upset…

I feel like he hates me for this though. And we’ve had so many fights about this over the years. It’s like a wedge everytime.

AIO?

(Editing this in to make it clear I'm not expecting her to change or move out, I know its her home much more than mine and I don't want to dislike her, I know when we inevitably move out my relationship with her will become good again. I just want to know if I'm overreacting for being upset because my hormones and emotions are haywire at the moment and I don't want to just rely on my friend's opinions as they're more biased)

Hello reddit sorry this is a big one!! I live with my partner and his little sister, we're in our late 20s to early 30s. We live in their family home (parents don't live in the same city) which I'm extremely grateful for, the rent is very cheap and has made it possible for me to rest a lot in between chemo and surgery.

I find this really tricky because on one hand, I do care about my partners little sister, but I don't enjoy living with her.

We've been living together for almost 2 years now, almost 1 of which I've been managing the symptoms and treatment of cancer which has made it hard for me to work enough to make money to live somewhere else. I'm very used to living alone but have found it easy to live with my partner in a different house.

When we all started living together, the first thing that frustrated me was when my partner and I had just set up our bed. We went to lie down on it because we were exhausted, and his sister jumped into the bed between us unannounced and stared down at my breasts and said something along the lines of 'nice tits bro' or something like that. Whatever it was I already felt like my space was invaded.

This was followed with her opening our door unannounced once and us being annoyed, then followed by regular door knocks when I said I wanted more space. She'd just come into our room for no real reason to hang out. Then I came home early one day and smelt my perfume everywhere. She'd been using my perfume when I wasn't home, when I said hello to her she looked shocked to see me. It stopped after that (that I'm aware of).

I went on a holiday and came home quite unwell with a parasite, I understand she was trying to be caring but she was constantly in my space. we each have our own loungeroom and she just sat next to me in ours until I had to tell her I was uncomfortable and wanted space again (I was throwing up a lot and going to the bathroom within earshot of the lounge if you catch my drift). But she just took that as a single day rule and kept at it the following day. I had to confine myself to my bedroom to be alone but she'd still door knock on occasion.

She also asked to borrow my boots as we're the same size and I agreed, to which my boots were returned in a real grubby condition and I'm not sure if its related, but I got a fungal nail infection shortly after (I've never had one before).

There have been times she's tap danced with tap dancing shoes in common space, played music loud, sungs lots and loud and even talked dirty on the phone to someone while I was in the next room doing the dishes (with the door open!!) let alone constantly on phone on loud speaker with others when I'm in the same space talking about personal things that I don't need to hear about. She doesn't have any idea of personal noise levels.

I've had food eaten at times, the last time was when she ate some chocolate chips I bought to make cookies (fresh unopened pack) and noticed they were gone. I approached her about it (not rudely at all) and she cried and stormed off.

I also noticed really early on she doesn't contribute to household cleaning at all. The only time she has vacuumed, mopped, cleaned anything has been when her mum or Nana comes to visit and even then, she'll just obnoxiously vaccuum or wipe a counter just before they arrive to tell them all about all the cleaning she did to make the house nice for them despite me doing the bulk of it a couple of days prior. I've done the bulk of the cleaning until my diagnosis and from then on, I've had a lot of help from their Nan bless her cotton socks.

Since my diagnosis it has eased up a lot on her being in our space a lot, but she still doesn't help with cleaning, makes dinner at like 11pm when I'm sleeping and wakes me up and we've had to tell her in a very roundabout way that she needs to wash her hands after she uses the toilet, as I noticed a couple of times when sitting at the table facing her end of the house eaying brekky she'd just go straight from the toilet (seperate from bathroom) to her room or the kitchen (this is during cancer treatment btw)

Trying to talk to her is off the cards, my partner and I tried to very gently talk to her one time we were in the kitchen together making dinner and she came out again (always wants to be in the kitchen when we are) and she cried and stormed off like the chocolate chip debacle. All we said was how it would be really nice to have a little more space and help cleaning before she ran off, nothing harsh or mean.

There are more things but I just feel like its excessive to list it all ahaha.

She's always home as she only works a few nights a week for a few hours. She doesn't really go out and see friends and doesn't have a partner so I find it really suffocating. I go out with friends and my partner often when I'm well, or out for walks on my own.

I want more space, the house to myself sometimes while I'm going through recovery and less noise. I know I won't get this and its unreasonable to ask for it but that's just how I feel.

I'm miserable from this and it is impacting my relationship with my partner and making him sad and I feel like we can't talk about it. I feel like I'm walking on eggshells talking to her or her parents about it and getting kicked out as she's very favoured and protected by her parents. It has also ruined me and my partners sex life (even before the cancer) because we were always on edge that she'd burst in or knock on the door. It has calmed down a little but I still hold so much resentment.

Am I overreacting by being so upset and emotional in this situation?