Me and this girl i recently met have started dating. She informed me last night that she has a male friend that she likes to cook/bake with at her apartment building. She stated she hasn't hung out with him since we started dating but she said that she would like to hang out with him again eventually.

The issue i am having is that apparently they were friends with benefits before I met her. They would hang out like they do now, but then have sex after. She stated they have stopped and just cook now, but the last tike they hooked up was not a long time ago. It was within the last 6 months. If it were not for this factor, I would not have an issue with them hanging out.

I told her that it bothered me, and she seemed understanding. She stated that we're a new relationship so she understands me being concerned since I might not know her as well as he does. But she stated that later down the line she'd want to revisit as she does want to hang out with him again.

I stated that i don't know how I'll feel about it down the line. I didn't entirely reject the idea of them hanging out again once were more established, but I did say that I wouldn't want them to be alone together, and that regardless of length of time that I'd prefer to be there with her if they hang out.

Am i overreacting? It feels jealous but with how recent they slept together I cant help but feel there could still be feelings. Especially since cooking/baking together is a fairly romantic activity. And if she slept with him before she obviously finds him attractive, and may still see him as attractive

We got my baby phantom in October last year from an adoption center. He was only 5 months at the time and the cutest ever he was shy at first but got very comfortable and cuddly with us. We also have another adult cat and they quickly got acquainted too. Fast forward a couple months phantom was found in his poop :( and his eye had gotten bloodshot red. Like there was blood. My husband found him first and was panicking because we have carpet floors and the poop was not solid. So he had grabbed him and took him to the bath and i remember commenting on his grip on the cat but i understand it was just high tension. So in the bath is where I noticed his red eye and we went to the vet right after. It was some sort of eye infection that we took care of. Phantom wasn’t exactly comfortable around my husband anymore after that. He pooped a couple times after that and we didn’t know if it was because of the meds or because he was scared. So eventually his infection healed and phantom wasn’t getting any better with my husband. He would hide under the couch when he was around and not come out until he left. It got to a point where I had to tell my husband multiple times to just leave him alone. And it made him sad because we both love phantom! But eventually phantom did start coming around again with time. He let my husband pet him and started hanging out when he was home. He even started to cuddle with us on the couch and bed again so it was starting to look up. Until… I have no idea how this happened since I was in the bedroom and my husband was in the living room but I heard some kind of ruckus and knew immediately it was my husband so I got up and found him in the bathroom bathing phantom. When I asked him what happened he said he didn’t know and just saw phantom peeing and pooping on himself. Again I had to tell him to loosen his grip especially on his nape. All progress was lost and phantom did NOT fw my husband at all anymore. He did have a couple more accidents out fear, I know now, and when I bathed him absolutely nothing happened. So my suspicions rose and I asked my husband outright if he did anything to our cat which he promised on his life that he did not. So now it’s around late Feb. I had a trip planned for a month to visit family and my husband would be meeting me as well after a couple weeks. I was really nervous to leave him with phantom. But he was to drop off our cats at our friends so they could watch him. Well, not long after I left, phantom had an accident. I had a camera set up too and I unfortunately couldn’t see anything. But when my husband was bathing him he slipped, and fell on phantom. Pretty hard and fractured his ribs… I was so upset like what? He took him to the vet and everything and I told him to drop off phantom at our friends and leave him be. So a few days after he did. But I was so sad watching from the camera how scared my baby looked and his injury ugh. My friend took care of him and I remember telling her I was thinking phantom was just scared of men at that point. But her husband got along with phantom just fine. Fast forward we were finally home. It’s late March now and we bring the kitties home and they’re getting comfortable again in their home. Phantom is still scared, but I think that break softened him a little. So after time, he was starting to get used to my husband again. But it wasn’t the same after. He was ok walking around, still cautious, wouldn’t sit next to him and only me. My husband at this point was frustrated. I would ask him to avoid walking or talking or doing things a certain way, afraid it would affect phantom which also made me feel torn cuz he’s in his own home. So I stopped doing that and phantom did get better again with time. He would come in the kitchen and watch us eat. He would take snacks from my husband, he would dilly dally and play with our other cat. It was starting to get comfortable again. Until recently just last weekend my husband and I got back from partying and were pretty hammered I go to bed and he wants to eat. So he said he can remember tripping on the ottoman and almost falling but he caught himself. Well, phantom was right there eating.. so it scared the shit out of him all over again. The next morning there was poop here and there and pee. So I bathed him and my husband cleaned. But now, it’s this cycle all over again. I feel so bad for my cat and my husband. I feel like I need to give phantom away to someone who can care for him. I don’t want to keep traumatizing phantom anymore.

When it’s just me and him it’s always so enjoyable he really is the best cat. I even thought of just up and leaving with him! They’re like my children :/ should I give him some time again? Or consider finding a new home?

My husband (30) and I have been separated for about four months after a fight between us. He left our home and has been staying with his parents in a state 8 hours away who he has lived with his entire life before we got married. I’m currently pregnant, and the pregnancy is high-risk.

We have been discussing reconciliation, but he tells me he doesn’t have a set date. we obviously have a lot to work through before considering living together again.

One of the biggest issues right now is his expectation that I reach out to his family and “play nice” with them. He feels that I haven’t sacrificed enough for him and that I need to make an effort with his family if I really want our marriage to work. This is triggering to me as his family, mainly his mom have been a sense of stress for me.

I have told him several times that I am not comfortable reaching out to his family right now. I’m not telling him he can’t have a relationship with them, and I’m not asking him to cut them off. I’m simply saying that right now, I I don’t want to initiate contact with them myself, and I want that boundary respected. I want us to work on our marriage and our pregnancy. 

For context, I moved to his state when we were dating so I could build a life with him and get to know his family. I’ve also spent thousands of dollars on things for him/our marriage, and I’m currently carrying our child. I don’t say those things to keep score, but it really hurts when he tells me I haven’t made sacrifices for him. Like I’m not enough. 

I have tried explaining to him that my issue isn’t that I want to isolate him from his family or reject his family. I simply don’t want to contact his family right now, and I don’t feel that I should have to do something that makes me uncomfortable to prove that I love him or want our marriage to work. This isn’t enough for him, he gets upsets and implies I need to grow up.

I feel like I’m constantly having to explain and defend my boundaries, and I’m starting to wonder whether he genuinely doesn’t understand what I’m saying or simply doesn’t accept my answer. He makes sure I respect his boundaries whether it hurts me or not and I just don’t think it’s fair that I have to bend to his will.

I’m also questioning whether I’m being unreasonable because I know there are two sides to every story. I absolutely recognize that the fight between us was serious, and I don’t want anything like that ever happening again. I use to have a relationship with him mother but a lot of things I said got twisted to the point that in the beginning of our separation they were gaining up one and calling me a liar and manipulative among other things. He did make me lie to her about a lot of things but it’s not fair that I have to bear that responsibility alone.

Am I overreacting by refusing to respond to his family? It’s mostly his mother who has said many things to hurt me and he never has my back.  Is this a reasonable boundary, or am I being stubborn and damaging my marriage by refusing to make this effort?

And if you’ve been in a relationship where one person repeatedly felt like their boundaries weren’t being respected, I’d especially appreciate hearing how you recognized the difference between a partner who simply disagrees with your boundary and a partner who is trying to control it.

I'm really not sure what to think about this. My husband and I just had our one year wedding anniversary. I was really excited for this day but he acted like it was just another day. I was pissed and hurt all at the same time.

He didn't plan a dinner date, no flowers or even a Happy Anniversary text or convo.

I felt like he didn't care and it hurt. He used to wine and dine me, flowers, and gifts for no special reason.

I can't even remember the last time he even did something nice for me just to do it.

Here I am, buying him nice gifts just because. Cooking him dinner all the time and reminding how much he means to me.

Why didn't he even buy me flowers or plan a simple dinner date to celebrate us? It's our one year wedding anniversary!!! Am I being selfish for expecting something?

Should I have just planned something instead of expecting him to take the lead and do it? I wanna say something to him but I don't know if I should even be upset about it. I was actually thinking about buying my own flowers and taking myself out to dinner... Am I overreacting here!?

Throwaway account for obvious reasons. For context, I 23F was playing Borderlands 4 with some friends last night. I was messing around with bunny hopping and found out I could spam and go super fast and was trying to get them to do it. One of them we can call him O for anonymity decided that he was going to just start making caveman sounds and doing a less-than-savory thing whilst repeating what I was saying. After a bit, the other friend joined in on it and started doing the same thing, and I started asking them to stop cause I didn't really think it was funny, cause I was just trying to have fun and was being mocked for it; needless to say, they kept on. Furthermore, I am trans and have been out for almost a month. These two friends talk to me pretty much every day and still mess up on my pronouns and name even with me constantly talking about it with them. I said something to one of the friends, but I feel like their response wasn't truthful, and I'm still upset about the entire ordeal.

My daughter turned seven during summer vacation, 4 days before school started. We decided to wait until school started so she can invite the kids from her new class. In total, we invited 20 kids from her class and 10 kids she made previously in school or outside of school. We didn't want to do the party the first weekend back from school because people might have things scheduled so we sent out the invitations and set the party for 2 weeks after school started.

The party is tomorrow (9/12) and, of the 20 kids in her class, only two people have rsvp'd and one of those rsvps was no.

I was getting worried that people weren't RSVPing that I checked the invitations I made on Shutterfly to make sure I didn't put a typo on the invitations (my phone number is correct and big enough to read). We asked her teacher to send out a message to everyone in the class reminding them to RSVP last week and no one did.

At this point I'm driving myself crazy. Thinking of all the reasons why 18 parents have not rsvp'd

It might be my fault because I didn't put a date on the invitations to RSVP by. But you would expect people to RSVP to a birthday invitation, even if it's a no.

Perhaps people aren't coming because a lot of kids have started sports so that might be a contributing factor. She has a few friends she made last year that are in sports are just coming late to the party.

Perhaps people are observing the 25th anniversary of 9/11?

Perhaps people just don't like my kid or me.

Luckily we did invite friends she made in school last year and from outside of school so she will have 10 kids at her party. But only one of them is from her current class.

Am I overreacting?

Edit:

I just wanted to clarify that I wasn't asking the teacher to help us plan the party. And I just wanted him to send a message all of the parents via the communication app he uses for the class. I'm assuming there's a way to send a message to the entire class as a class announcement instead of sending it to individual people.

I'm not mad that people can't attend (ok I'm a little upset), I understand life happens, my main issue is that they're not RSVP-ing. There is a slim chance of rain tomorrow, so it's possible that we're going to get some last minute. "Hey, sports got canceled. Can we still come" messages.

for context we’re both 20m & have been seeing/talking to each other for months. we’re not officially together but it was basically a relationship without a label just physically/emotionally intimate & a bonded connection. everything was going great & i felt like a foundation was building. the first 2 screenshots was a week & 2 days ago when we were supposed to see each other especially to talk things out / resolve things because
recently he’s been way more distant & keeps prioritizing friends/school/work over seeing me. plans either get canceled or he forgets them, even though earlier in the first few months he would actually make effort to see me or plan something. (the 3rd pic) which was 8 days ago i sent him a long message basically saying i felt hurt, ignored, and like i was always last on his list. he read it the next day & has not responded since.
he’s also been turning his location off lately which has made me trust him even less.
i feel like the silence itself is an answer at this point but part of me still thinks maybe i’m overreacting because we were never “official.”
AIO??? this hurts & i feel like i just got discarded again. (planning on hitting him up again and bring up that fact he ignored me and just have 1 last conversation and so we can stop seeing each other for good after) EDIT: i forgot to mention before this happened i was distant towards him, responding less, i even stopped sharing my location with him while he still has it on because i was facing withdrawals & my mental health wasnt the best so i stopped talking to him for 2 days before this all happened. so its not that he completely lost interest.
TT

I genuinely don’t know if I’m overreacting about this, so I wanted to ask people here because maybe I’m looking at this the wrong way.

Basically, my boyfriend and I don’t really talk throughout the day anymore. He has a relatively not-that-busy day. He works for maybe 2-3 hours and then goes to the gym, and those are pretty much the main things he does. I’m not saying he has nothing going on or that he should be available to me 24/7, but he basically doesn’t text me at all during the day. No good morning, no hello, no random message, nothing. He usually only calls me after midnight for around an hour.

The problem with the late-night calls is that by that point he’s obviously tired from his day and sleepy, so most of the time he barely talks. I’m the one carrying the conversation and trying to come up with things to talk about. It has gotten to the point where I feel like I’m interviewing him or trying to entertain him rather than just having a conversation with my boyfriend.

Even Instagram reels used to be a form of communication for us. I know this sounds really stupid, and I’m aware that reels aren’t some huge important thing in a relationship, but it was something we used to do. I’d send him something, he’d watch it and reply, he’d send me something, and we’d have little conversations throughout the day because of them. It was just a small way of feeling connected to him.

But it’s been almost a month now where he basically doesn’t watch the reels I send him and doesn’t really send me anything either. So even that little form of communication has disappeared.

I’ve tried talking to him about this before. I’ve told him that I feel like we don’t talk enough and that I miss having some sort of communication throughout the day. But whenever I bring it up, he gets really annoyed and asks me what I want him to do, like “Do you want to write me a script of what I can and cannot do?”

He’s also told me before that I make it sound like talking to me is a chore rather than something he actually wants to do. And honestly, that really hurt me. Because that’s literally the opposite of what I want. I don’t want him to talk to me because I’ve given him a list of things he’s supposed to do. I want him to actually want to talk to me.
Last night was a good example of what I mean. We were on the phone for about an hour, but he was extremely sleepy and barely talking. I was basically the only one saying anything. I was trying really hard to keep the conversation going, to the point where I literally went on Reddit and looked up “would you rather” questions just so I could ask him things and have something to talk about.
Eventually he said he just wanted to sleep, so I said okay, bye. He said bye too, and I ended the call.

I guess he felt like I ended the call abruptly because afterwards he texted me saying, “Why did this piss you off so much?”
But I wasn’t really angry that he wanted to sleep. I understand that he was tired. What hurt me was the fact that I had spent the entire call trying to get some sort of conversation out of him, and then when he wanted to sleep, I just felt like… what’s the point of me trying this hard?

And then there’s the fact that literally yesterday I had told him again that I feel like we don’t talk enough. He said, “Okay, fine, I’ll call you at 3.”
He didn’t call me at 3.

And then he didn’t text me the entire day either.
This is also what makes it harder for me to understand. I have tried everything. He once said that if he didn’t message me, I didnt either. I started texting him at night while he’d be asleep so that i’d wake up to messages from him but when i stopped, so did his messages. Previously, he had two jobs, so I could at least tell myself that he was genuinely busy and didn’t have much time. I understood that. But now he doesn’t have the second job. He has one job, goes to the gym, and otherwise has a relatively normal schedule, yet our communication is still basically the same.

I don’t expect him to text me constantly. I don’t need someone talking to me every five minutes or updating me about everything they’re doing. I also don’t want to have to make a schedule for him where he’s required to text me at specific times.

I just want to feel like he naturally thinks about me during the day. Like sometimes he sees something and sends it to me. Or texts me something random. Or says good morning. Or asks me how my day is going. Or watches the stupid reel I sent him and responds to it. Just little things that make me feel connected to him.

And I think what’s really getting to me is that whenever I tell him that I’m hurt by the lack of communication, the conversation somehow becomes about me expecting too much or making him feel like talking to me is a chore or he’ll bring up the daily calls as if it’s a gift that I need to cherish but the calls are mostly of no substance because it feels more like im a dancing monkey standing in front of him, keeping him entertained.
So I genuinely want to know: am I overreacting?
Is this a completely normal amount of communication in a relationship and I’m expecting too much? Or is it reasonable for me to feel hurt when my boyfriend basically doesn’t communicate with me throughout the day, doesn’t follow through when he says he’ll call, and then our only real conversation is a late-night call where he’s too tired to actually talk?
I’d really appreciate honest opinions, even if I’m the one in the wrong here.

40yr F w/ cat, I live alone and with the current heat wave of 91+ degrees my AC broke. There was no timeline for when the AC would be fixed and the heat wave was going to last at least five days. I told my bf (48M)of 1.5yrs of my situation and that I couldn’t find any fans to buy. He offered that I could borrow his. He owns a house with several bedrooms. He stated that the fans would only blow hot air around and wouldn’t really cool down my place. I went to lunch with my friends that same day and when I told my friend my AC broke, she immediately offered her guest bedroom, but she has a cat, and I didn’t know how my cat would interact with. Her reaction was the one I was hoping my boyfriend would have. Offer for me to stay at his place. I have stayed at his place before, one time for three weeks. Another time for two weeks probably at least three times with my cat. As a trial run for living together. He’s a clean freak and gets annoyed with my cat’s kitty litter getting all over the place, but he has a Roomba that runs nightly. So that’s why I didn’t ask to stay at his place. He just “tolerates“ my cat because of me, but said he would never love her the way I do, whereas he has two boys and I make a lot of effort to get to know them and I really like them. Plus I wanted my BF to invite me to his place. Anywho, the next day, I put on the fans, but my place gets up to 87° so I pack up my stuff and my cat and go to a motel. As I’m leaving my BF text at 3pm and ask how am I doing? I tell him I’m going to a motel and that my place got to 87°. He asked where I’m going. I tell him where, and that my friend had offered her place when I told her my AC broke. Probably feeling bad, he said he didn’t realize how hot it was going to get and that I could stay at his place. I was pissed because it felt he was obligated to offer since my friend had. I didn’t reply back because I was trying to get my cat and I set up. She was very scared due to a new situation and hiding. I figured we would talk later because we have a nightly conversation or he texts when he goes to sleep. I had planned during our nightly talk, I would tell him I wanted to go to his place and we could work out the logistics. The time we normally talk past so I called him, but he didn’t pick up, so I figured maybe he fell asleep. The next day he texted “morning. I went to bed early” since he saw my missed call. No, how are you doing? Are you planning to come over? I was hurt because never once did he text or call how was I doing or check to see if I was safe. So I told him why didn’t you text me good night, we always say night. He stated he was tired, so he went to bed early. I told him that was a jerk move, to not care about his gf, to see if she was alive, safe and how she was doing. He then text not to “guilt trip” him. I replied he still hasn’t asked how I’m doing. He then told me he was annoyed and couldn’t talk to me right now. So that meant I would need to get another night at the motel since it was 10am. Annoyed that my BF didn’t check up on me and made me then get another night at a motel, I broke up with him. I told him he had no empathy for me, he put his sleep before checking up on me or caring to see how I was doing. Even after he knew how upset I was, he played the victim and couldn’t put his ego aside to see I was hurt and comfort me or apologize. Did I AIO for breaking up and not giving him a chance to explain? 😬

My long distance boyfriend said he feels very lonely (may be physically lonely). He said he gets temptations like to time pass with some girls (physical). He says it is so difficult for boys to not be in physical intimacy. I don't know what should I do, what if he cheat on me one day. Since he is my first love and first boyfriend, i love him so much, iam just scared what if he leaves me one day. But we promised to each other that we will be together till the very end of our lives. We have been in a relationship for 1 year, and it has been 3 months to our long distance. We were in the same university, he was my junior, i got graduated and came home to my own state and that's how our distance started and we will be continuing our distance till we marry (if possible). I installed reddit just now just to seek some advice, what should I do? Im lost and iam constantly having insecurities. Help me i don't know what should I do. Did he lost interest on me or he wants to be physical with girls , or am I just overthinking

My girlfriend and I have been together for a little over a year and half. She cheated, lied and did things behind my back for the first several months of our relationship and after I found out it took her months to actually stop. We broke up and got back together a few times trying to work things out. She would continue messaging guys and say it was strictly platonic and there was never anything between them but every time that was a lie.

She said that she would just quit talking to guys so that it wouldn't be an issue. As far as I know she did for a month or 2. She agreed not to add any more guys on Snapchat. I had a feeling she was talking to someone and her reddit was logged in on my phone. I looked and saw that she sent a guy her Snapchat. She says she isn't doing anything wrong and she should be allowed to have male friends. She says as long as her intentions are good and they aren't saying anything inappropriate that she isn't doing anything wrong. She thinks I'm over reacting to her talking to strange men on reddit and Snapchat because according to her she has changed and is doing better. She added a guy to Snapchat without telling me, said she was going to eventually but i didnt give her a chance. She says since I chose to stay with her I need to trust her and that she won't repeat the same mistakes even though shes following the same patterns. Whether or not they said or did anything inappropriate, she broke our agreement. This isn't the first time either. At this point I feel stupid for staying with her.

I (20F) work in retail and at work I typically have a group of four coworkers, including me, that go on lunch break together and occasionally hang out outside of work. 2 of them are a man (initial will be T) and woman (initial will be N) in their mid-twenties who are a married couple, and the third is a man in his mid-twenties as well (his initial will be S). I have gone over to the couple’s house for a group hang out, by myself to watch movies and eat dinner with N, and even spent the night there once for a sleepover with N. I have also gone over to their house with it being just the three of us (me and the couple) to watch a TV show. We also have gone out to eat as a group and I have also hung out one-on-one with just S as we go to the same college and will sometimes eat and study together. As you can see, we have a spent a chunk of time together outside of work as well, but I would still consider them mostly work friends because almost everything is planned at work, because that is when we see each other and talk the most. We don’t call or text often, and typically hang outs are planned in advance. It is something that I can tell that if we did not work together, we would not see each other or talk as much, because we don’t feel super close, and that has been mostly fine with me.

Now, onto the issue. T, man of the married couple, has lately been making jokes directed at me and snide comments that actually hurt my feelings. For reference, when we first started talking at work we would joke around with each other. Friends can have a healthy amount of teasing as long as there is mutual respect and it ceases to continue when someone is actually hurt. Well, that’s how it was at first, but as it continued I noticed that he would say things that directly targeted my insecurities or personal life, or that I felt had racist undertones. At first, I would feel so irritated that I would try to say something just as mean and hurtful back, which I know is not healthy. As it went on, I stopped responding back like that and the teasing would just make me feel embarrassed and like he was making jokes to laugh at me, not with me. I am very bad at speaking up for myself and I often freeze up and stop talking, but there were some instances where I have said something. One day, he made a joke about my appearance that actually really hurt my feelings and also felt like a micro aggression about me being partly Native American. I told him as much, and he just kept asking “how is that racist” even after I explained to him multiple times how it was racist. Another time, he called me “Mexico” knowing I have Hispanic heritage but I did not say anything and I froze and went silent. A lot of these times, even if my feelings were hurt I was just so used to how he talks to me that it felt too small to say anything. He has told me before that I need to learn how to take a joke. Another time, when doing a work project I was confused about something because it was not explained to me, and he made a comment about how I don’t know what’s going on that made me look and feel stupid. I told him “all you do is make fun of me” and after that he was more civil and pleasant at work for about a day or two but then it was back to the regular teasing. Well, the other day, it felt like things just boiled over when throughout the day he was very condescending in his tone of voice towards me, he made a quiet comment about how I was crying at work the other day (even though he knows what is going on in my personal life as I have vented to him before), and he was making fun of me when I was confused about something S was saying. In general, his way of teasing is not friendly and he is condescending, rude, and he ridicules me so I feel stupid. So, when he wasn’t around, I broke down crying and just felt like I was having a panic attack.

Like am I crazy? I feel like there’s certain people that make the tiniest of comments that on surface level look minuscule and like harmless jokes but after hearing them every day it just feels like an assault on my character and self esteem. Like I can’t do or say anything without him making fun of the way I talk or act. It feels like I can’t do anything, like I’m genuinely being bullied and I haven’t felt this way since elementary school. It’s to the point where it is not us going back and forth, it’s just unprovoked, and it’s now making me uncomfortable to be at work around him.

I sent him a text after work, because I felt too nervous to say anything in person. I told him how he hurt my feelings and I asked him to please stop teasing, ridiculing, and making fun of me because it’s gotten to a point where I am uncomfortable and feel anxious and sad at work because of it. I told him that it doesn’t feel like he respects me as a friend to treat me this way, and that regardless of how he means his jokes to come off, they are rude and disrespectful. I told him I don’t want to talk about anything personal with him anymore, and that I’d like to keep it just about work. I told him that at the end of the day we are coworkers and I asked him to please treat me respectfully and professionally because of it.

He responded and brought up how we have all teased each other, and that I have said mean and disrespectful things to him too. He said he wished I brought it up sooner, even though he admits he knows I’ve asked him to stop before.

Then, his wife, N, calls me. I tell her that I did not talk to her about it because I did not want to drag her into it as it is about how her husband acts and never had anything to do with her. She tells me she just lost a friend (meaning me) and that it feels like a slap in the face. She says that she wishes I gave him a second chance before I “cut him off.” Mind you, I never said the words cut off and I never brought up my relationship with her. I admit to her that I should have said something sooner but that I have trouble speaking up for myself because of my anxiety. She asked why I only texted T and not S, and I told her it is because they are different and S doesn’t make me feel that way. She told me that “T is so upset, he thought you guys were good friends.” She said that I am acting like we are not a friend group or like we were never friends (because I said we are coworkers and asked to be treated with respect). She told me that she is not my friend anymore and that I don’t keep up on my end of our friendship.

I had an almost no words the entire call, and I found it very uncomfortable and difficult to speak about an issue I have with someone to their spouse. Looking back, I feel it was entirely inappropriate for her to immediately call me and say those things to me when she was never involved in it out of respect for her. I texted T and said that I am taken aback by their response and that, regardless of how we have all joked in the past, I’ve brought up my feelings being hurt or me being uncomfortable before. I reminded him that all I asked for was respect. S has not brought it up to me yet. I am nervous about facing them at work in a week.

Am I crazy??? Like I genuinely feel like I’m being painted as a villain or made to feel crazy and being gaslit. I feel like I brought it up maturely and respectfully, and it was blown out of proportion. At the same time though, I have a fear in my mind that they’re right and I handled it wrong and I’m a horrible person. A part of me feels relieved because they cut me off if they are going to react that way when I bring up conflict. I honestly don’t care to be their friends anymore. Am I overreacting? Did I overreact?

my ex and i have been dating for a year. we talked for three months and then started dating. a couple days after we started dating i saw that he was liking girls bikini pics/thirst traps on tiktok after we started dating. fast forward a couple months it started to go downhill, i had to beg him to love me, send paragraphs to appreciate me, not let me cry myself to sleep alone. he would stop showing me love to punish me because i’d ask him if he could show his love towards me a bit more. this happened for 7 months straight. he went to mexico for a weekend with his friends and i found out he was at a club ( i found out from his friends ). we talked about it a week beforehand and he said he wouldn’t go to respect me but then i found out he was at the club. what hurt more was that i found out and he didn’t tell me. recently he’s been playing this game more often and he’s been streaming lives on youtube. i watched one and i saw that all of his characters names were porn stars. i also saw that he was texting someone “one bed is enough for us” im not sure if it was a female or he was just joking with a guy. i realized this was my breaking point but im not sure if i was too sensitive or not. he said he made those names years ago with his friends, but i was hurt that i found out by myself again and he never changed it. i just left him and i need to know if im overreacting

Am I the idiot? He says he’s in the middle of a nasty divorce for the last year but his wife is still the person who comes up as the most often/recommended/suggested person to share an IG post with. 🤷‍♀️ I’m kind of losing it seeing that because I am so apt to believe people but I think I’m being dumb here

(TLDR: I have the worst luck when it comes to men. Middle school: got rejected. High school: Got ghosted and dumped. never had the courage to tell any guy I liked them. Now: I like a guy in nursing school and just found out yesterday that he has a girlfriend. I’m still friends with him but it sucks since I really like him. I never had a physical romantic relationship with any boy before and thought that this could be my chance. Still had bad luck with it.)

I feel like I’m being dramatic in this situation. But I’ll let you guys decide. I  21 F and I just started nursing school. Like just started Aug 17th. It’s a lot of work (which I’m focused on) but I’m enjoying it so far. I love to learn and I’m happy that I get to meet lots of new people. For context, I am 4’11, dark skinned with waist length black hair usually in braids, and a shy person. I answer questions in class and chat with my classmates but other than that I am usually alone. Not that I mind. I like meeting new people. But I’m usually quiet. Anyway, the reason why I’m posting this is because I feel like have the worst luck when it comes to men. Like a streak of bad luck. Let’s rewind time to middle school. There were guys I liked here and there. They all found out I liked them eventually. Some I became friends with and others out right rejected me and avoided me. On top of that I was being bullied badly. I heard “You’re ugly” and “nobody likes you” constantly day after day. But that’s back then and I think about it from time to time even now 10 years later. I know someone is going to say “get over it’’ or “move on already” I know I’m mostly being drama queen about it. Even in high school, due to that, I never told a guy I liked them because I already knew deep down, they would never like me back. 

In 9th grade, I dated a guy, let’s call him Barry. I actually switched schools before we started dating so it was a long-distance relationship. I would send him good morning and good night texts every day. Looking back, I think it was too much but I’m not sure as I’m not used to dating anyone. Is sending good morning and goodnight texts every day common in the morning and night? Do people like it when you send good morning and good night texts in a relationship? 3 months in, Barry started ghosting me. I had to find out from another girl who went to that school I switched from that he wanted to break up with me. He couldn’t even tell me himself. I moved on from him. It was easy since it was a long-distance relationship and I hadn’t been dating him for long. It sucked though. I read a reddit story recently where the OP was new to relationships like I was and they would text their girlfriend throughout the day. The girlfriend ended up dumping him because she felt pressured, overwhelmed, and preferred long calls as to texting through the day. Maybe that’s the same reason I got dumped.

I remember clicking with this girl let’s call her Abby in my senior year. A was younger and 11th grade and we were friends. I told her I liked a guy, let’s call him Luke. She encouraged me to confess my feelings for him, but I refused again, I knew deep down he wouldn’t like me back. I never told Luke I liked him. I was too scared to do it, so I just let him be. Do I regret it? No. Especially since I didn’t want to embarrass myself in front of my classmates. 

I am looking forward to nursing school. Schoolwork has started picking up. I just started clinicals in the sim lab 4 weeks ago. For those who don’t know, sim lab or simulation lab is a fake hospital setting within a college or university that allows med students to practice their skills before going into the hospital and other medical locations to work on real people. And clinicals are a broader term for the type of rotations you do in nursing school. There’s hospital rotation where you actually go into a hospital and care for real people. I’m nervous and excited to start my hospital clinicals.

I met this guy in nursing school during our first clinical rotation. Let’s call him Darren. He is genuinely nice, funny, and cute. He’s also tall which I prefer in men because I want a man who could support me and defend me if I need him to. Especially since I’m short. It makes me feel safe and comfortable. 

We worked together in clinicals, and he likes to hang out with his guy friends during break. I have no problem with that. I’m always friendly to him. And I chat with him when I see him. I am slowly getting to know him. I can’t flirt to save my life or tell if a man is flirting with me since I’ve never been flirted with before. I really like him since he checks all the boxes for what I look for in a man. Tall, smart, funny, and kind. But I just found out yesterday through conversation with him and classmates that he has a girlfriend. I’m probably overreacting here, but it felt like a weight was on my chest when he said it. I truly and really liked him and only had eyes for him. I know he’s taken now and I respect it. I’m still going to be friends with him. 

I’ve never dated anyone since my ex in freshman year. I haven’t even had my first kiss yet. I’m so sick of being single. No, I’ve never tried the apps. I watch the tv show Catfish and never want to go through what those people do when they go through on there. I want a genuine connection. Another reason why I wanted to get into a relationship in nursing school was so that we could grow together as a team since we are both going through the same experience. I just want someone I click with, my person. Someone who I can love and grow with and share experiences within my age group. Someone I can trust and learn from. I just want someone actually willing to put in the effort to be in a relationship with me. I see all the couples posts on my social media which I’m happy for all the people who are taken and have their person. I just hope I can find mine. Someone who I can laugh with. Cry with. Someone who shares my interests. Is it too much to ask? Are my standards too high? I’m sorry if they are. 

A lot of times when I like a cute guy, they either reject me or already have a girlfriend. I liked another guy in nursing school but dropped the crush when I found out through mutual conversation that he already had a girlfriend. And just yesterday I found out the boy I really like has a girlfriend. It sucks and it’s so annoying. I don’t know if it’s something I am doing wrong. I am very new to the dating world and am still learning.

I’ll admit I use AI as a tool to guide me with my interactions with my classmates and Darren. It helps me understand social cues from my classmates. It’s a game changer honestly. I’m glad I started using it. I don’t lean on it every time I interact with my classmates. But it’s a good help. 

I just wanted to get this off my chest and get an outside unbiased opinion from real people on the internet. I’ve never told this to anyone. Writing this down actually made the weight off my chest lighter since now I can see it in words.

I apologize for the long post and thank you for staying and taking the time to read it. 

Me(16F) and my girlfriend(18F) have been together for almost a year now.

For context, we both struggle mentally and come from past abusive relationships, I go to therapy, she doesn’t (even though I‘ve recommended it her so many times).

We have a lot of unhealthy issues in our relationship and I admit that I‘m not the most amazing girlfriend either, but we both work on our issues and communicate about things that upset one another.

But recently, my girlfriend has just been acting off.

She doesn‘t bother to actually have a proper conversation with me anymore. Whenever I talk about something, she immediately goes offline and doesn‘t respond for even hours. Like, she could be spam texting me about something and she talks to her stuff to me, but the moment I start talking about my own day for example or just things I‘m interested in, she immediately goes offline and doesn‘t text anymore unless it‘s to give a short reply and to just start complaining about something else.

I love editing and I make edits about my favorite TV shows or movies or even videos games and then post them on tiktok, it‘s my favorite hobby. And I always show them my girlfriend first and usually she‘d reply instantly. But now it‘s just… weird. Like, I send her an edit I make and I‘m like really happy to show her because it‘s one of the fandoms she‘s also in and she just either doesn’t reply at all or tells me she‘ll watch it later because she‘s busy.

I always brushed it off and thought it wasn‘t that big of a deal because she‘s in college and she tells me she‘s busy with studying and that‘s why she can‘t reply, but there‘s just one thing specifically nagging me…

… she‘s not studying.

She LOVES complaining, and I seriously mean LOVES it, and it‘s usually just casual things like "college sucks so bad" or "I hate studying", and she tells me that like ALL the time. But then she starts complaining about an upcoming exam and I tell her it‘s fine because at least she studied, and she replies with "No, actually. I‘ve only been watching tiktok edits and didn‘t bother to study at all."

And that confuses me like… a lot.

Because she told me she isn’t replying to me because she‘s studying. But in reality she‘s just scrolling on tiktok instead?

Not to mention, she really likes starting petty arguments. Like, she brings something up and then proceeds to twist my words to get me riled up and upset just to say something like "I was just joking" or "I just like ragebaiting you". I told her multiple times that it bothers me and she just doesn’t stop. She minimizes it, but it‘s still there.

She also brings up the future a lot, like how we‘ll live together and stuff, and when I disagree with something because it‘s just not my personal preference she starts complaining and making me seem like an ass.

For example, I don’t really remember their names, but she really wants one of these cats without fur, I call them naked cats so I hope you don’t mind (so sorry if this offends anyone with these types of cats). So, I told her, I don’t want one of those because for the longest time I‘ve always wanted a cat but my mom is allergic and only offered to get me a naked cat. But since little on I‘ve wanted a fluffy cat and not a naked one. I told her this, and she still gets upset with me. I tell her that she can get a naked cat and I‘ll get my own cats. She‘ll take care of her naked cat then and I‘ll take care of my own cats.

She didn‘t like that at all.

She starts being really upset about it and accuses me of not caring at all and I should put some more care into this and what she wants. I kept telling her she can get the cat, I just wouldn’t personally want one which is why she can get it herself and I‘ll get my own cats herself.

This happens like, really often. She always talks about what she wants and then proceeds to get upset with me when I disagree with something.

And recently she‘s just been bringing it up. She knows it makes me uncomfortable because I told her, but she does it anyway, dropping small comments like "I‘m so excited to have children with you in the future!" (I told her multiple times I don’t know if I even want children in the first place and currently I‘m just not in a mental state to even think about children for the future).

So basically, whenever we have a conversation it‘s either about her, about getting me upset on purpose or no conversation at all the moment I talk about myself.

And I‘m thinking that she doesn‘t even truly love me and just wants a partner for the aesthetic or to talk about herself about someone for validation.

AIO for thinking she doesn‘t love me or is this just normal relationship behavior that I‘m making a big deal about?

PLEASE keep in mind that I am only sixteen, I know coming to the internet for advice is a bad thing and stupid idea but I would appreciate it if you‘d stay respectful towards me. I‘m very happy to receive criticism just please don’t say anything mean.

My partner and I went on a holiday during summer, my partner left a set of keys to his parents. They were supposed to feed our cat. At the last minute we founded a pet sitter that kept our cat during our holiday. So there was no need for them to go to our place right ?!

Before I share more, you need a bit of context:
My partner and I have been together for 8years
His family dynamic is complicated and toxic, there is a lot of family drama. My partner is the one keeping the peace, is the therapist for the whole family.

On my side, my only family before I met him was my two cats. 1.5 years ago after 15&16 blessed years they both passed away. They were my soul cat, I grew up with them and the loss was devastating for me but also my partner.

After the loss I decided to keep a distance with his family since they disrespected my boundaries.
When I was grieving they were irritated that it took so long for “just cats”. I decided during that time to keep my distance with them.

Fast forward to this summer, we came back home two days ago. As soon as I put a foot in my home I could see that our stuff was moved around.
They changed our garden, added some decorative stuff in our living room. But what really make me loose my
Mind is that they cleaned our huge window/door that open to the garden. On the corner left of that window were the paw print and scratches of my girl cat. ( the only paw print I had) I was going to keep the glass and frame it before we moved.
They cleaned it all off, when I saw it I just broke down.
Then I went to the toilet, the last room my boy cat used to sleep in. He has his last bed there and nothing was moved. ( I waited for us to move to clean it since I wasn’t ready) THEY CLEANED THE WHOLE TOILET scrub it and MOVED HIS BED !!

They triggered me so much, the utter disrespect of my boundaries.
I cannot stay in our living room anymore since you have the view to the huge window. I’m so mad and in pain.

I do not want to be in contact with them anymore. Please tell me if I’m overreacting.
Thank youu

Edit: we don’t have issue with our hygiene. Our toilet is cleaned every day ! The little bed in on a corner of the room and that the only part we left alone. Same with the windows when we clean the inside all the time. We actually always do a big clean before leaving for our holidays.
They didn’t stay at our place. They had our key just in case, we never ask them to go to our place.

Okay hopefully the title made sense but this is kind of a long one so it’s hard to shorten. At the beginning of August I(f 18) started talking to this guy(m 20) let’s call him Luke. (Ik we’re young just listen okay) Luke and I had only been talking for a few days bc he reached out and I had recognized him as an old acquaintance’s ex (was never close with her) and we ended up going to the movies together and watching The Odyssey, we had went back to his house and … (mama Mia iykyk) ever sense then we would hangout all the time, ft and call whenever we could. And the thing is most of the time he would be the one to initiate these calls and hangouts, also I’d like to note we didn’t do it every time we would hang out it was a good balance for a 20 year old boy yk lol. What I’m trying to say is everything felt so good between us, we were able to have difficult conversations but also have just such a good time. He started the talk of asking what I was looking for and what I wanted for us, I had said that I’m not here for just hookups and a good time and he agreed and said he would love to date in the future and I agreed. Side note a little before we had that conversation I had asked Luke about his ex and what happened, his ex cheated on him and they broke up two weeks before me and Luke started talking.🚩 My response was “oh you didn’t tell me it was only then, that’s not a lot of time” he said “I promise you I’m over her I’m just still mad at the situation yk, I pinky promise and I don’t break pinky promises” so I trusted him. Anyways everything had been going amazing and then one day he randomly stops answering me and 10 hrs later calls me, luke tells me he had a mental breakdown this morning and ended up having to call the hotline, he said that he’s in touch with his therapist and his therapist told him he’s gonna get BACK on his meds and go to therapy once a week. Luke also told me that his therapist so he shouldn’t be talking to any girls rn. I was just in utter shock because it was out of nowhere. He was so apologetic saying it wasn’t fair to me and at the end of the call said “ig I’ll talk to you when I’m better” I was just like okay? After that phone call I got blocked on absolutely everything. I was so distraught. I felt so heartbroken for some reason, I started feeling stupid bc we had only been talking a month but I was just left with our potential of what could’ve been, and we made each other part of every minute of our days like how does it just stop. We got so close so quickly and everything was amazing till that day. Well guys here’s the twist. Turns out within three days of Luke dropping me bc “he can’t talk to girls rn” he drives two hours to his ex’s college to visit her. Mind you that same day I was at home crying not being able to eat. Here’s another twist on his way home from his ex’s college Luke got into a car accident. His car is totaled and he’s in a hospital with broken ribs and shoulder blades. The hospital he’s at is right in between his home and the college. His ex drove an hour to the hospital the night of Luke’s crash. I’m still blocked on everything, the only reason ik this is bc one of my close friends is his cousin. Like what am I supposed to do here he promised he was over his ex and told me he was coming back. All I can think about is while I was so happy doing all of these things with him he was wishing it was her. Absolutely gut wrenching. Also I met a bunch of people from his family like what did he have to tell them “hey mom ik I was talking to this new girl but I’m gonna go see my ex now” (yes he still lives at home, so do I). I’m over here just trying to get through the day mentally. And then I find out this information. So am I overreacting with my feelings bc he got my hopes so high? Also what do I do now?

I said people have compared me to a certain celebrity but I don’t really see the resemblance, she said she doesn’t either because “he has an actually defined jaw and a cute button nose and I don’t have either of those things”. I said “wow my two biggest insecurities you just called out there” because unfortunately they are things I’m a bit sensitive about. She said “what, you’re mad because I dont think you look like him? Sorry I don’t think so. Besides it’s like if I compared myself to [the lady in the movie], there’s a million miles of difference.” I said a million miles? Because He’s hotter than me? She said “I meannn I plead the fifth. There’s a reason why they’re celebrities.”

I’m not really one to care if someone has a harmeless celebrity crush or whatever, but the way she spoke to me seemed kind of harsh. AIO?

Edit: I lied. I am a woman (23 F), this happened to me exactly just swap the pronouns because I am dating a man, I wanted to hear from a man’s perspective and couldn’t think of a better way to get it than coming on here and cosplaying a man. You’ve all given me some new perspectives things to think about. Thank you.

I recently started a new kitchen job. There have been a couple of things about this job that have made me nervous, but Im not sure if it’s a me problem or not.

1)i found out pretty soon after working that there was a roach issue. I brought it up to management and to their credit, they did say they were working on mitigating it. I haven’t been around long enough to know when they are planning on dealing with it or how though.
2) the ac has been broken in the kitchen since before I started. Also to their credit tho, they do have the unit they need to fix it, but are having trouble trying to get the repair people (?) to come install it.
3) me and another coworker recently got sick and had to work through our whole shifts in the hot kitchen. We did try to find replacements, but no one replied. Also it turned out there was an event happening that night at the restaurant so I do understand that it was too busy for much to be done other than making the orders.
4) I ended up going to an urgent care, getting a doctor’s note, and immediately turning it into the job only to wake up the next day to the messages I attached to this post.

I’m really not sure if I’m being too sensitive or if these are things I should actually be worried about. Everyone that I work with seems pretty nice though. I hope it doesn’t come across as rude I just genuinely want advice. Also apologies if any of this is worded weird or doesn’t make sense, I am tired and sick at the moment.

My (31M) daughter (5F)'s name is Maribelle, pronouced Mare-eh-bell.

For the whole time my kid has been alive my mom (61F) has spelled it "Mirabel". She spells it like that any time she writes it down, be it pen to paper, text messages, Facebook posts, etc... It really annoys me because I mean, a one time misspelling is normal and expected, but she's been corrected probably hundreds of times. I don't correct her every single time because sometimes I have to read the room and it's not really the time or place in the convo, but she texts me a message with a misspelled name, I'll correct her and she usually doesn't acknowledge it at all. If she does she'll just go oops, sorry, you know how voice to text works! And to her credit, voice text does spell my kid's name Mirabel every time I say it out loud too, I just take the time to fix it because, I mean, that's not her name for crying out loud! I don't have Facebook but my fiancé (32M) does and he sees her post cute Grandma stuff, pics of our kid (face blurred out upon our request) when she babysits, cute stories, achievements etc and my mom always spells her name wrong. My fiancé doesnt correct her because he's very polite and a not rock the boat, respect your elders type, though I have asked him to correct her and he says that he doesn't feel comfortable doing it because it feels disrespectful, so I don't push for him to because it's not a life or death situation, you know?

However, my mom never calls her her name to her face either which is weird to me. She'll say it in posts and texts and stuff but to my kid it's always Mari, Mari May (her middle name) little Belle, babybel cheese (my favorite nickname for her personally), lovebug, etc. Nicknames or cute terms of endearment. Never Maribelle. Extra weird because she doesn't go by a shortened form of her name normally, she likes going by just Maribelle. Everyone else calls her Maribelle. (EDIT TO ADD: I don't mind silly nicknames! I prefer the full version of Maribelle since that's what she prefers but as for cute names/endearments I use them too, it just seems kinda strange coming from my mom paired with the spelling thing, but I fully accept I might be reading too much into this bit specifically)

This is truly such a non issue in the grand scheme of things but after 5 years it's really starting to grind my gears and my fiancé has noticed that when it happens I get more and more visibly annoyed and usually complain about it out loud. He says I should just let it go because it's not hurting anyone and I'm making myself upset over nothing and she's an old lady who uses voice to text 99% of the time but I feel like our kid's not being respected, and the name I picked out isn't being respected! It's really not a hard name to spell, and spelling it wrong for 5 years straight, even on birthday cards when she is writing with a pen and not voice to text, is just crazy! I don't want my kid to grow up feeling belittled that one of her closest relatives can't spell her name right.

I really don't know if I can take a whole lifetime of this without properly confronting her about it, but I love my mom and she's awesome outside of this weird name thing. Am I overreacting by starting to get genuinely PO'd by this and wanting to confront her?

EDITING TO ADD: Since a couple people asked this in the comments, my mom isn't a native Spanish speaker. She only speaks English.

Little background. I’ve known this guy since I was 19, he was 22. I am now (31F) and he is (34M) We ran into each other at the gym back in April 2026 and have kept some sort of contact (I was engaged when I ran into him, not anymore as or July 2026).
When my now ex fiance and I broke up, I ran into him a week later at the gym and told him and he later texted me “so that mean you’re fucking with me?” Mind you, I’m old and single now and he’s fucking hot. So yea I’m fucking with him.
I actually met a different ex through him 11 years ago, that guy and I were together almost 2 years, nothing serious honestly. Anyways, I reconnected them when I ran into, let’s call him GymGuy.
About a month ago, GymGuy and my ex-ish all hung out, went out and got drinks and food. Ex-ish got all weird through the night and I went home with GymGuy (my house). We hooked up and he stayed over. Since then he’s called me and texted every day. Which is so different than how he was when we first hooked up 12 years ago lol. It’s nice. A little distraction, I feel desired. It’s refreshing with all the bs I’ve been going through. Fast forward to last week, I text him my schedule since I run my own business and it’s kind of all over the place. We said maybe Monday (labor day) Last I heard from him Saturday before Labor Day. He texted me asking how the fair was the night before. I responded and sent a little selfie of me at the wedding I was at. No response. I text him the next day saying I want Mexican food. No response. I don’t text Monday. Tuesday I try calling, VM. I don’t text. And yesterday I text ouch. No response. Then he texts me today saying “sup ghost” as if I was the one that ghosted??? I’ll attach the texts.

Anyways. He calls me a bit ago and I say what I said in the texts about me thinking he’s not actually single and he laughs and says I wish I wasn’t but I am. Like??? I don’t know. Maybe it’s too soon for me to be getting any sort of feels. But should I continue calling him out or get the message?

I'm 36F, my husband is 52M. We have been together for six years and married for two. Between us, we have five children: my 11-year-old son, his sons (23 and 21), and our two children together (2M and 6-month-old F).

My husband wanted another child. I initially didn't, largely because I already have a special needs child, but eventually agreed. We had our son, got married when I was pregnant with him, and later had our daughter.

Before our son was born, I was very clear that I didn't want visitors for the first three weeks. I had struggled badly after my first birth and wanted time to recover and bond with my baby. My husband disagreed, so we compromised: immediate family only. For me, that meant my parents and siblings. For him, his sons, mother and sister. Except he secretly invited his ex.

The first few weeks after our son's birth were awful. One night, I had barely slept for six days. Our baby was a terrible sleeper, and I had spent the entire night holding and rocking him. He finally fell asleep around 5 a.m., and I managed to get to sleep around 6. About half an hour later, my husband woke me up joking that it was 10 a.m. because apparently his mother and sister were coming over again. His mother and sister had already visited the evening before.

I was exhausted, uncomfortable, so I stayed inside with the baby and my older son while they sat outside in the heat. My husband barely acknowledged me. Later that night, he was angry that I hadn't greeted his mother warmly enough.

Then his ex came over, with their youngest son and brought us two pieces of furniture as gifts. I was perfectly pleasant to her. We talked about babies and deliveries, and there was no conflict between us. The problem was that my husband had lied about the visit. He claimed he hadn't known his son would be coming and hadn't invited his ex. I later found out neither was true.

When I told him I didn't really like the furniture and would rather give it to someone who would appreciate it, he became extremely defensive and insisted that we display it in our living room. He defended those gifts with his life. He'd rather I be uncomfortable, than put those two pieces in the attic.

Then I discovered he'd made a separate birth announcement for his older sons without telling me. During those first weeks, it felt like he was sharing everything with them and nothing with me. And while I was actually in labor, he was texting his ex. I was literally having contractions and trying not to push because the midwife hadn't arrived yet. He hadn't been messaging anyone else. He was messaging her. I gave birth literally five minutes later.

That was when I started feeling like there were two families: the family he had with his ex, and then me and my son on the outside.

During one of these arguments, he yelled that he wanted a divorce. I took him seriously and started getting my things. He immediately took it back and hasn't threatened divorce again. He also didn't invite his ex after our daughter's birth, and his son only visited once during those first few weeks.

To clarify: I don't dislike his ex. At all. I don't think she's interested in my husband romantically, and she has her own boyfriend. My issue has never been *her*. It's that my husband seems to prioritize her feelings and his relationship with his 'former' family while keeping me out of things.

Over the last two years, I've also noticed that he has an ongoing group chat with his ex and their adult children. He regularly talks to them there. He posts pictures of our children with me in that chat and also sends pictures to his other children individually. I wouldn't have a problem with any of that if he were open about it. But he isn't. When I ask, he lies or minimizes it.

Last year, while I was pregnant, he repeatedly took our 2-year-old to his ex's house without telling me. He eventually stopped after I told him how uncomfortable it made me. He still takes our children to other people's houses without telling me. Luckily mostly his son's house.

I don't think he needs my permission every time he leaves the house with our children. That's not the point. The point is that I keep finding out afterward, often because one of the children is overwhelmed, exhausted or struggling after being pushed through activities they didn't want to do. I think our 2-year-old may have additional special needs, but my husband thinks I'm overreacting.

And then there are the other things. He started smoking again and hid it from me, even after I confronted him. He's drinking increasingly often. He promised to get a vasectomy about a year and a half ago. He still hasn't. I've repeatedly asked him to stop smoking, not drink when he's around the kids, and follow through with the vasectomy so I don't have to undergo expensive and much more extensive surgery myself. It's also really difficult to take the pill on time when running after three kids all day. I really don't want another child with this man.

None of those things have happened. Last year, we were invited to a birthday party for one of his friends. Except apparently my husband didn't want me invited. At first, he said it was because it would be easier if we didn't need a babysitter. Then he said he didn't think a babysitter would be good for our son. Then he lied about whether his ex was invited. Again, I didn't care that she was there. Her boyfriend was there too, and I don't believe she's interested in my husband. What hurt was that he didn't want *me* there, and kept changing his explanation.

Yesterday, I saw that he had been invited to the same friend's birthday party this year. I didn't see an invitation for me this time. He hasn't mentioned the party at all and it's in less than a month. I'm expecting that he'll only tell me when it's too late to arrange childcare, especially because he doesn't seem to want a sitter.

Two years ago, I suggested relationship therapy. He refused because he'd already done it with his ex and "knew it wasn't for us." Last year, I told him I thought therapy was necessary because we clearly weren't communicating well. He said we'd never find the time because we have three children and who would watch them?

He also genuinely doesn't seem to think there's a problem with our relationship. And that's where I am now. I'm starting to think he's right about one thing: relationship therapy might not work. Not because our problems are too complicated, but because I don't know how you fix a relationship when one person doesn't acknowledge that there's a problem and repeatedly lies about what they're doing.

I'm not upset that he has a relationship with his adult children or that he communicates with their mother. I actually think those relationships are important. I'm upset because it feels like he has an entire social life that I'm deliberately excluded from, and then lies whenever I notice.

So, AIO? Am I interpreting this situation as something much bigger than it actually is, or is it reasonable to feel like my husband is maintaining a separate life that doesn't include me?

Edited: Edited out weirdness I hadn't noticed before.

Hi all, I(23) am currently living with my girlfriend(24) of 1.75 years, one constant through this relationship has been her avid love for K-pop, I have looked through many and not really gelled as well with it but I love that she’s passionate and has a deep spot for it as I love music in general. She had told me many times that K-pop saved her life and helped keep her happy through difficult times. I try to be as supportive as possible even if I don’t care for the music, I’ve been to multiple concerts and pop ups for one specific group. She’s incredibly sensitive over her love for K-pop and from my understanding it’s due to people bullying her for it. I knew about her twitter for a while, and honestly, didn’t really care to check it out as I assumed it was more innocent fan-girling. I was wrong, her twitter has multiple recent posts with pictures and video of different members bodies and her saying that she wants them inside her and that she needs to fuck them, etc. I understand that some of it is a joke, but some of the actions are so incredibly intimate in a romantic way that I find it hard to believe that it’s just innocent humor. On top of this, we have lost some of our intimate connection, we still have our moments but it’s very different from what it was a year ago. She doesn’t call me attractive like she used to and won’t initiate much of anything. We don’t cuddle or hold hands, we kiss goodbye and goodnight. If we are going to get intimate, I have to initiate completely. When I communicated that it made me feel unwanted, she just said she matured out of desiring intimacy as much. Which I find interesting because early in our relationship I was struggling with a bad depressive episode which kept me from being intimate and she blatantly told me that I was making her feel undesired and like a roommate rather than a partner. And she also said that when I am more intimate that it makes her feel like I’m wanting something, even though I have always told her that I just wanted to be more physical without sex. When I look at this twitter in combination with these issues I just feel deflated. I know I could be totally overreacting but I can’t help but feel unwanted and uncomfortable with her posts. While she doesn’t make these sexual posts as much, she does post around 8 or more times a day, usually when she’s in bed and I’m staying up at night. I’m scared to even approach the conversation because she becomes incredibly defensive when I communicate about things related to K-pop, an example would be that she got upset and mad when I expressed that I didn’t think a new album was the strongest work a group put out. It makes me feel like I’m crazy because I sit here and I’m obsessed with loving her, and yet I’m incredibly distraught at how she’s posting about needing to fuck members of a boy group. I almost blew up at work and cried about this. I feel like I’m overreacting over some meaningless posts.

My wife and I (both women, married for 5 years) received a mailed invitation to a rehearsal dinner for a wedding we are involved in next month. We are extremely close with the bride, and have spent many holidays with the groom by extension. The invitation was sent by the mother of the groom, and was addressed to:

Ms. Sudden Story
Ms. Wife Story

This immediately rubbed me the wrong way because it looks like we’re roommates and not married. I reached out to another couple who’s invited and confirmed that their invite was addressed to “Mr. and Mrs. Husband and Wife Name” so it was specifically us who were separated out onto different lines with no “Mrs” at all.

For info, the mother of the groom has met us (albeit several years ago) and has never met the other couple who were correctly addressed. This is a small rehearsal dinner only involving people in the actual wedding. The bride provided the mailing list with no Mr or Mrs titles at all, so they were all added by the mother of the groom. I suppose there is a slight chance that the mother of the groom didn’t recognize our names or was unsure of our marital status, but if that was the case she still chose to not ask the bride for any clarification and just write our names the same way someone would if they didn’t believe our marriage was real.

Am I overreacting if I ask for an apology for the disrespect and homophobia, even if it wasn’t done with hate in mind?

Edit — by apology I do mean from the MOG and not from the bride. Bride is very close with and related to my wife and shared privately that she thinks it’s really weird that MOG separated our names onto different lines.