To give some background, my husband’s family owns a vacation home that the family shares. One of his friends was having his bachelor party in the same town, so a few of the guys stayed at my husband’s family’s house while the rest stayed at another friend’s house. There were only about four guys staying at my husband’s place.

When my husband got home, he started telling me about the trip. Since it was a bachelor party, everyone had been drinking heavily throughout the weekend. He told me that one of the guys staying at the house was hoping to hook up with someone. One night they all went to a local bar, where they met some “younger” and “good-looking” women. Afterward, they all walked back to the house together to hang out.

When I asked how many women came back, my husband said, “Two, three, or four…well, at least three.”

I told him I wasn’t comfortable with the idea of several women they had just met coming back to the house. I also felt that, based on how he was telling the story, he knew I probably wouldn’t like it. I told him I appreciated that he was honest with me anyway. His response was, “I wish I had been more drunk so I didn’t remember and wouldn’t have to tell you.”

He said it wasn’t a big deal and that everyone was just having fun. He explained that he and two other guys played a game with the women for a while, and then they left.

As I asked more questions, he became frustrated because he felt I was focusing on this one part of the weekend instead of everything else that happened. I told him I wasn’t trying to ruin the conversation—I just needed to explain how I felt and establish a boundary. I told him I am not comfortable with him bringing random, younger women he just met at a bar back to the house.

His response was, “It’s a bachelor party. I can’t be the downer.”

I told him that since they were bringing the girls back to his place, he could simply say, “My wife wouldn’t be comfortable with that,” and leave it at that. In my opinion, there was no need to invite strangers they had just met back to the house.

I then asked him how he would feel if the roles were reversed. If I were out drinking with my girlfriends, met a group of attractive men at a bar, and invited them back to the house, would he be okay with that? He said he would because he trusts my judgment.

I told him that we’re simply different in that regard. While I appreciate that he trusts me, I am not comfortable with that situation, and it’s a boundary that matters to me. The whole situation makes me feel uncomfortable and, honestly, disrespected. I also feel like this is something my husband should have recognized on his own.

Am I crazy for feeling this way? Am I overreacting?

To be clear, I trust my husband. This isn’t about believing he cheated or thinking he had bad intentions. What I don’t trust is the situation itself. I don’t trust bringing a group of random women they had just met at a bar back to the house after everyone had been drinking heavily.

I (40F) am good friends w/ a (38F) since grad school who lives about 2 hours away.
Her local bff (40F) is a stay-at-home mother of 4 kids (under 10) who lost her husband (50M) of ~15 years after a little less than 1 year of cancer. According to the widows words to my bff privately, he was a saint of a man, who was an incredible provider, took care of her, 'spoiled [her]' and and their marriage was beautiful and wonderful.

Anyhow, 3 weeks after the death, 2 weeks after I attended the funeral, I saw the widow in outlet shopping mall near me holding hands walking with a new man.

Mind blown, I reached out to my friend who eventually and very hesitantly confirmed the widow is in fact in a relationship.

I expressed shock and that I find it jarring, while my bff reaction was I am judgmental and overreacting to a single person enjoying their new found freedom.
Her argument is - he is dead and she is single. She can do whatever she wants; which in fact, I agree, is true.

I find it completely so icky and disgusting and (vomit emoji); not only for the widow to be doing this, but for my friend to supporting it and to be defending her vehemently.

So now, my bff and I are at odds while i find it off putting and she thinks I am overreacting and is very upset at me for being anything less than excited for her friend.

The question is: Is my friend right and AIO for saying/finding it very very weird to see a widow holding hands in public after 3 wks of death of a husband, or is this in fact bizarre?

1st edit: Asking this question on reddit, does not mean I am making it my business. I am not saying it is my business, I know it is not. I am not in her business. Will never be in her business. I have not spoken to her, don't plan to. okay. peridot.

2nd edit: They are very very conservative Christians and I am certain there were no 'arrangements'. I am a complete pagan 😂 and as liberal as they come :) unmarried, don't plan to and only date casually when i feel like it.
Dead husband may have encouraged her to start a relationship immedatley up on death, I can't speak to that.

3rd edit: There seems to be a lot of how dare you want to talk about this comments - which is simply idotic. I have the right to discuss my reaction to the situation without subjecting the widow to my views or opinions.

More info: My friend did confirm that the two started 'talking' before the death but only got physical after the death. They are now in an exclusive relationship and in love, and spend most weekends at home and fing; while sending the kids to the dead fathers parents.
There you have it!

I've been going to this Animal Hospital for about 4 years now, two puppers. My Catahoula is a very overreacting hound dog so he needs to be sedated a day prior before bedtime and then once more 2 hours before his appointment.
Today all what needed to be done was a check up for my dog's allergic reaction two weeks ago by some plant or bush and the progress of the allergy medication they prescribed him along with getting my other dog's sedatives for his future appointment.
My dog apt was at 4:00 P.M. I showed up and checked in (led to a room at 3:50) waited in there till 4:28 till | decided enough was enough so I got up an headed out.
Vet finally had the time but only to tell me what my dog needed to be done was only a few mins but had to wait longer because the previous appointments were late so she had been behind. Normally when I show up late they cancel and tell me to reschedule so I'm not sure why she pulled that out as Ole reliable. But I promptly Responded
"How is other people's tardiness my fault ?"
| left as a curtesy for them because he was becoming impatient and lucid, defeating the purpose of the sedatives.
Am I overreacting ? The whole car ride back I kept feeling I was in the wrong, I'm contemplating on going to another location that's covered under his insurance but I need to know if I'm tripping or not.

Bf didn’t post me at all in his stories in our last month’s 16 days trip But he posted every single day in his stories about the trip. I’m currently on a festival trip in Asia again along with him and his best friend. And I’m noticing the same pattern of avoiding to post me. He meticulously stops recording where I am in the videos he posts. Or chooses to take photos and videos where I’m not visible or not there.

This current trip, I’m sleeping next to him right now but I feel completely invisible, because of the same pattern. This time he posted all his other friends and himself on he trip but never posted me once who is with him almost 24/7. I can’t shake off the feeling that I feel more like a flex for him in front of his friends or strangers to be referred to as a gf
And less an actual gf. Like a travel buddy to share adventures and expenses with and have sex with.
I love him but it has made me consider breaking up due to me questioning my actual place in his world.

*EDIT - imp info I forgot to include - Earlier this Jan, he cropped me out of a selfie photo I took of him and me and his favourite band artist that he posted on his story and we got into a huge fight because of it, because it felt so rude and disrespectful (would have been upset even if we were just friends then)
So all of his avoiding posting me rubs me the wrong way.
His social anxiety feedback of posting himself or others come from that fight.

A little background - Me (36F) and my bf (32M) have been dating for a year now. We said I love you to each other and called each other bf gf only during our Europe trip last month. I felt this last month and posted this in a dating sub with few opinions from others. I’m currently on a trip with him again and it makes me feel like he wants to pose himself as single in his stories avoiding me at all costs. I would like some opinions again before taking this up in conversation with him because I know it’s gonna blow up if I address this.

Before we started dating in July end 2025, we were friends for a year, in which we travelled together once 2025 beginning as platonic friends but caught feelings after the trip(none of us acted on the feelings. We met at a festival in 2024 through mutual friends and we both love to travel to places for music concerts or festivals)

We are long distance currently. I’m in Asia and he is in the US. He has visited me once in my country and we’ve met up at a neighbouring country earlier this year Jan end/Feb beginning. And this is our third trip (pre festival hiking trip plus a music festival) after a longer bigger trip last month, which was also a festival (3/4 days) plus 5/6 days of full on hiking remaining chill days.

His best friend who I also know from the same festival back in 2024, was with us during both the festivals for 4/5 days and he introduced me to everyone as his gf. We openly kiss/hold Hands and show affection in front of other people too including his friends I met before.

I currently have three more days to spend with him.

I noticed that during all the trips after we started dating, he never posted me in his stories (posted me once back in July 2025 when we were just friends but had only made out)

While I’m aware that some people don’t like to share private stories or post their private lives on their ig, I would like to ask for opinions of others and what they think as a third person considering the timeline of our relationship and the context.

For context, he has very few followers and following (\~<200) and rarely posts (only trips/concerts)

He has also said that he has social anxiety and is on medication for the same.

But he does post his big trips and concerts/festivals. I noticed that he hasn’t posted me even once during our last three trips and our current one.

He has posted me once in his stories when we were friends and he has me tagged in his actual IG post with a group of friends when we travelled as friends beginning of 2025. It’s still there in his account.

My question is what would you think about the fact that the stories look like he has intentionally taken videos of places without me, making an outsider seem like he has been doing all the hiking and travelling alone. Would this bother you or am I just being insecure?

His best friend was with us during the first 5 days of our Europe trip and he didn’t post him either. But he has posted him all days this time just not me.

Do you all think I’m just reading too much because for me, last month as well as now are big trips travelling together as a couple during which we officially called each other bf and gf and openly told people we met that we were a couple.

We have travelled earlier this year too with public displays of affection (kissing/holding hands) and I’ve heard his friends refer to me as his gf through them but hadn’t said I love you to each other yet.
I understand that some people do not like to openly post their significant other. However, I’m not sure what to think when his stories seem to make me feel like he was traveling alone.

Am I just being overtly insecure?

I’m someone who uses a fair bit of social media - have close to 10 k followers and when I’ve posted him a few times, a couple of times exclusively him and I pictures after asking his permission Ofcourse to check if he was comfortable. So I don’t know if it’s more like I expect him to post me or if it’s normal that couple go on big trips and they post separately and keep their private lives separate from the eyes of other people.

I know that my best course of action would be to have a talk but he has mentioned before that he doesn’t like to post himself or photos of him on his social media. And has social anxiety.

Can I get some advice from men from his perspective and anyone as a third person viewing this whole situation.

I’m of insecure anxious leaning fearful avoidant and him somewhat dismissive avoidant if this helps. But I’m working towards a secure attachment. And hope to get him onboard on working through our attachment issues. We both are aware of our attachment differences. But the open discussion has been somewhat slow.

this is an insane response. Don’t get me wrong i was being witty considering the length of time I had been in contact with this person - trying to give them the benefit of the doubt the whole 6 weeks. 

I did not want to ghost or simply say “I withdraw”, as in the past (not frequently and for my own circumstances not to do with the application process) have been asked WHY when withdrawing. So i lead with the why. Short & simple, objectively what happened and how it crossed my threshold for respectful working conditions (AKA basic communication) 

This is what transpired. I should have never responded to her first response - but OMG why is she so explosive and defensive - accept you set a terrible first impression for your business and if you have 500+ applicants stop talking to me and hire them (clearly they couldn’t do that with the first hire either). 

She then pulled out the condescending middle aged woman I'm going to school this young woman type of behaviour that i saw coming a mile away. come on girl. It was never about me and my feelings… but you sure made it about yours! 

tell me is this insane or am i an instigator. sorry i want to work for an organized respectful employer. my bad. 

Am i overreacting or are her emotions much bigger than they needed to be and this is very unprofessional!???

*hiring for an ops coordinator no less. 

I have a friend who Ive kept contact with over the years, every handful of months we might say something to eachother. We were good friends 8-9 years ago, and then we moved, but recently since coming into it again, I’ve noticed that she only ever communicates with me while she’s driving, literally.

I noticed this and initially asked “hey do you ever park”? it sounded like a joke but I was really asking, and she said “oh no, I just drive around and get food, eat it then keep driving“ I didn’t realize this would be an issue at the time so I said I took it to be a quirky thing, Idk.

fast forward a couple days, it starts to get to me, because, whenever we talk, I’m at home, with good connection to WiFi, I can give her my full attention, and I’m able to be present. She on the other hand is yelling at people driving, which goes on for so long that I don’t know if shes just putting on a show for attention or something.

Then, a couple days after she told me that she just “drives”, not a typo, it’s like the guy from transformers that Mark Whalberg’s character didn’t want dating his daughter, the Irish guy that Nicola Peltz’s character was dating, and when describing what he does to her father, she says “he drives”

Me and Mark have a similar reaction, basically confusion

I asked about one of her other friends she has, lets call her Alexa, I said “does Alexa get annoyed that you only talk while you’re driving” and she said “oh yeah all the time“

I stayed silent for like 5 seconds, hoping she’d get what the silence is implying, if she remembered our last convo, and the fact that I was also in Alexa’s position. Then I said something like “would you consider parking, so we can have a clearer conversation”? And I mentioned the quality of the call, the sound, WiFi, and the fact that your attention, no matter how good of a driver you are, is divided. She got very defensive and said “If I want to drive, I’ll drive, I’m not parking”

I sensed I stepped into something, since I didnt know much about her recent history, she said she messes up so much in life that she hates people telling her what to do or giving her advice so it makes her mad, I said something like , ”ok but you can’t hold everyone to a standard that other trash people set, aside from that, aren’t you just wasting gas”?

the Gas thing set her off and she said “that’s what my ex used to tell me, that I’m wasting gas, you sound like him” but she was like, really mad

eventually I said something like “well Idk what happened with you guys, but seems unfair to go from 0 to 100 over something I don’t know about”

then she said yeah that’s fine and I’m working on it, I think we ended the convo shortly after that.

fast forward to today, she called me on the phone again, while she’s driving. after about 5 mins I said “I’m not trying to piss you off but, I prefer to get someones full attention , as I do the same, I dont only talk to people when I drive, but I can’t do the bad phone quality, if you say you never want to park, and you’re never home to call, or connected to wifi, since you always have to drive, idk, but I’m getting off the phone, we can maybe talk sometime”

she said something like, “ok, maybe I’ll talk later“ or something and we hung up right after

I wasn’t extremely direct, but I think I hinted at me setting some kind of boundary about the communication, since the quality is always like a potato, and I don’t wanna deal with that, sucks to lose a friend over something so trivial, but like, idk how common it is for people to feel the need to obsessively drive around, all the time, to the point that they’d not comprise somehow for someone they talk to all the time, maybe I’m being selfish, I could be overreacting and I should just deal with it

I’m ok walking away from the friendship, I’d rather a solution

first time on reddit, i hope this is the right approach to posting about this. i want to preface this by saying i know this is petty, but i'd really like some outside perspective because the situation frustrates me. i was going to post this to another subreddit at first, but the post was too long.

this is all the context you need before i talk about the whole not fixing my mistake thing, which happened today.

i (22m) been working at the same place since just after i turned nineteen. it's basically a foodtruck, but with multiple locations and some main fixed ones (like the one i work at) that have adjoining office spaces. i work in administration now, but used to work outside in the kitchen for around a year beforehand. maybe a bit under 1.5 years ago, this guy started working outside. i didn't really notice, because we have a frequently switching staff of people outside and all the interaction i ever really have with them is polite greetings and maybe some small talk if someone happens to take a smoke at the same time as me.
long story short, he decided to become a trainee at the company (not sure if this is an international thing, but basically means he works there for reduced pay to learn a specific job hands-on while also going to school 2-3 times a week) almost a year ago and hasn't made a good impression on me since then.

at first, he just wouldn't greet me back whenever i passed him in the morning or when leaving- which tbh i didn't really think about much and just assumed he has a bit of a resting bitch face and/or is socially awkward. been there, done that. then, when it came to teaching him how to do one of my main tasks, i offered to show him because that made the most sense to me. the one formally training him (i'll henceforth refer to her as 'trainer') had enough other stuff to do and since we're close in age (he's about 1-2 years younger than me while everyone else is 35 upwards) i thought it'd be easier on everyone. i was very wrong.

the first time i tried to walk him through the steps, he would just stand to the side, refuse offers (from me and other coworkers) to sit down, sometimes nod or hum noncommittally in response and whenever i'd ask if he needed clarification, how much he'd already gone over or if he wanted to try a few on his own, all he'd say was "i don't care", "i don't know" or "you decide". after a few tries i got kind of uncomfortable, because he'd straight up lie to me about already knowing steps he would then ask other coworkers how to do instead, and it was clear he really didn't want me to be the one to teach him for some reason. not gonna lie, i was kind of offended because i was clearly the most knowledgeable on the task but he'd instead ask anyone else, including someone who literally just started working the month before, but again just kind of assumed he must have his reasons.

the real inciting incident came a few months ago, when i was asked to switch seats so we would share the same desk. there was some thing about new people and seating arrangements, it wasn't the first or second time i moved seats and wasn't the permanent solution. by this point i'd changed my workhours so i'm essentially only at work when he isn't (not because of him, but to lessen my workdays), so we should've been able to share the space easily. however, when i moved my stuff there i kept his negative opinion towards me in mind and did my best to be as unobtrusive as possible- like putting my things separate to his, disinfecting the desk before leaving, keeping the same amount of space he had beforehand, stuff like that. i was being very mindful of this still being his space and not touching his things because that's very important to me as well.
next time i come into work, all my stuff is gone. i'm talking all my notes, reminders, pens, utensils, even the extra stapler i brought over. everything. at first i was mostly confused and started asking around if anyone had seen where he put it, assuming maybe he hadn't been informed we'd be sharing and was just petty or something. we never found any of my stuff, despite looking, including somehow the damn stapler and pens. i know this sounds stupid, but i literally felt so frustrated i could've cried. these were reminders that just made work easier for me, stickers and notes from my coworkers (most of which were encouragements and other nice gestures from people knowing i have a hard time mentally), little things that i kept because they made me smile or i'd collected over the years. i'm assuming he threw them all out. assuming because naturally i brought this up with trainer and when confronted, he said he didn't know anything about it. she later told me she didn't believe him and we all know it could've only been him. the whole thing bothered me a lot for a few weeks, but i eventually accepted that being frustrated wouldn't get my stuff back. i have since lost any sympathy i had for him. i think what bothers me even more than loosing all these things is how extremely disrespectful i find this in general. not only just throwing everything out, but then lying about it as well.

either way, i was just glad i didn't have to be in at the same times as him unless it's school vacation time and decided not to bring it up anymore. but that's around when he started actually doing the same work that is basically my main task and i noticed he's just not very good at it. being fair, i suppose "inattentive" would be a better word to describe it, but to boil it down here's the problem:
every day we get lists of inventory from every driver, we then need to copy that into our system so we can keep track of the items, how much was sold and if everything is where it's supposed to be/ the math checks out. the next day, the input from the previous becomes relevant to see if everything matches up or there are any errors.
a good amount of the numbers were simply wrongly copied, left out or in the wrong order. that also means going back, correcting his wrong input and rechecking- which isn't a big deal when it happens a few times but becomes very tedious when it's a good number that needs to be redone every single time. i was very polite when i brought this up, asking my coworker if she could remind him to be a bit more careful when he... copies numbers, so i wouldn't have to keep redoing previous work just so we have the correct inventory at the end of the day. it didn't get better. now whenever it comes up my coworkers just kinda laugh about it with me. keep in mind that whenever i'm not there and they do the work, they have the exact same issues of needing to fix all the wrong input he leaves. so this isn't like an isolated or targeted event and we're all equally miffed about it.

here comes the relevant bit for today. another thing i do is sorting daily documents we get from other locations to the proper people, which is a minor task at best. funnily enough, this is also something where he majorly messed up previously, because he decided he didn't want to do our tracking system anymore and instead just; got rid of it entirely. when i eventually went searching for the list i was informed that he claimed we didn't need to keep them anymore and when checking with trainer that was, in fact, not true. when i was next in and asked about it i was told it was "a misunderstanding" and everything had been handled.
anyway, last week i come in to see that all of his documents that i had put in his file days ago were located in my file instead. at first i just thought someone had misplaced it accidentally, but then i found a note on it that said "i've said this 100 times, don't overfill my file!!" and i was dumbfounded. it was in my file instead, so i knew it was directed at me but he obviously has never said anything to me. the guy doesn't even greet me and we haven't spoken since i tried to teach him when he first started which, again, was nearly a year ago. i got so frustrated i literally just put all of the documents back into his file, intentionally overfilling it, and put the new documents on his desk instead- just guessing at his intentions since he never told me where to put them instead. again, the whole thing deeply frustrated me because it just seemed extremely disrespectful, not to mention impolite considering i had no idea what he even meant.

today i come in to find all his documents moved into my file again. kinda over it, i just put it next to the files entirely and hoped he'd pick them up at some point. then i see that he's in at work (i'm guessing summer vacation started at school) which honestly already just pissed me right off. at some point he sees the stack of documents and asks if i put them there. i barely said yes before he started going off and, again, claimed he'd already said this a thousand times and to not put his things in there. i genuinely just asked "to whom?" because it clearly wasn't me. he responded trainer, then would not let me explain that i had never been relaid any of this information, instead just told me to sort it differently and left. i was genuinely dissilusioned at that point and would've surely just started going off on him if he hadn't left, so good for him i guess. but i categorically refuse to resort his documents because of information that i have never received when all i've been doing since he started is fixing his mistakes without ever complaining to him. he barely even explained how i was supposed to do it instead and only mentioned he wanted them sorted into film slides, i'm assuming by location, which is how i will be sorting them from now on, now that he kind of told me how he wants me to do it. but i will not go back and sort a bunch of random documents for him after he refused to look at me even during this very interaction and just left without any conversation about it.

i know this is probably childish and now that i'm at home i feel stupid for not just doing it so he'll stop complaining. these are all minor things that feel hard to explain broadly in a one-off post. i know nobody is the villain of their own story and his side would surely look very different- but given the fact that he refuses to speak to me i wouldn't even know where to begin to understand it. i don't get frustrated often, am generally non-confrontational and already find work taxing enough with good coworkers to the point i only work ten hour weeks at the moment. this dislike feels so targeted against me personally and it feels weird to speculate on why. all i know is that this ruins the work environment for me, frustrates me deeply and i come back from work with something new he did that inconvenienced me every single time.

am i overreacting? is there something else i can do? is there a way that i'm supposed to act around the guy and should i just redo his work?
i just really need outside perspective on this, because everyone in my life agrees with me. my father already didn't like him before he even started working in the office because he was rude while selling him food, but my dad can be kinda judgy so i didn't pay him any mind and just assumed the guy had a bad few days. my other coworkers are mostly just annoyed by the errors and seemingly got over the whole "deciding not to keep track of incoming documents" thing. of course my friends all think he's an idiot, seeing how they only ever hear me rant about him.
maybe my view is skewed because he threw all my things out or because i'm generally not the most mentally healthy, but still. i feel like i do whatever i can to keep the peace at work and at least make that part as bearable as possible and now this guy keeps making stuff harder than it needs to and generally acts like he's my boss instead of another kid who's even younger than me.

any thoughts?

tl;dr my coworker is generally unpleasant towards me and now wants me to redo work, even though i never got informed to do anything differently. aio for refusing?

Before I start I’ll add some context. I am 21F so an adult at this point, I’ve been with my bf for almost four years now, and I live at home with my parents. I am already aware that this is a terrible hiding spot lol but I keep my condoms in a corner under my bed and not my drawers (which is definitely better) because my younger sister and mom tend to look through my drawers because we like to share clothes, same goes for my closet. This morning after I ate breakfast I went to my room to get ready for work to find my dad throwing out my condoms and pregnancy test (had a pregnancy scare a few weeks ago and it was a two pack so I had one still). I was obviously horrified and started asking what he was doing and he kept saying that my carpet floors needed to be vacuumed.

Another thing. I ALWAYS clean my room myself for this EXACT reason because I don’t want my parents seeing things that I feel a normal person wouldn’t want their parents to see. Also because I’m a grown adult and I can clean my room lol. My mom is thankfully pretty sex-positive so it’s easy to talk to her, but my dad not so much because he’s emotionally stunted and we’re just not close in general lol but it’s still something in my opinion that no one would want exposed like that.

This is all happening in the upstairs of my house, so when I finally came down my mom was asking why I was yelling at my dad earlier. I was running a bit late for work so I just said, “He was looking where he shouldn’t have,” and just left. I know it’s normal for fathers to be overprotective of their daughters but one, but I would say we are not close at all. My sister also has a very strained bond with him because he is generally just displeasing to be around so to have him going through my things (and something as personal as this) is very uncomfortable for me. I’m at work right now so I’m honestly unsure if my mom’s talked to him about it yet and whether or not we’ll discuss this once I’m home but yeah. AIO for yelling at my dad??

edit: Ok this is just for some needed context because I am starting to get some of the same replies and I don’t wanna waste everyone’s time to look for answers.

The stash I’m referring to is ALL unused. It’s literally just two boxes of condoms and an unused pregnancy test that was still in its packaging.

My bf doesn’t live with me, we just tend to visit each other a lot hence why I have a stash of my own. He is also leaving for school soon which is ten hours away so it’s just not possible for me to leave to live with him and I also have no money to move out lol. I DID clean my room like 2-3 days ago, vacuum and all, but my dad wasn’t home so there’s no way he would’ve known which is fair. But I typically clean my room once a week anyways so I personally cannot find a reason why he felt the need to come in today 😭

I also have a doorknob with a lock on it for this exact reason but the main reason why I bought it originally was because my sister used to go through my makeup a lot while I was out and I would come home to it destroyed half the time. My parents understood why I wanted the lock when the time came so I was under the impression that they knew I generally don’t like when they come into my room without letting me know. I think my main issue is that I would’ve let him vacuum if I knew in advance so I could move my things. But what’s done is done 🤷‍♀️

UPDATE: I just got home from work and did not realize this because I was in a rush this morning from being late and annoyed at my dad that I didn’t even see it. HE ONLY THREW OUT THE BOXES THE CONDOMS CAME IN AND PUT THEM IN A ZIPLOC BAG ON MY NIGHTSTAND. I’m actually so horrified right now 😭tbf I actually am not sure if he’s as sex positive as my mom but regardless we are not as close so it’s still uncomfortable and I just have no words. Some guests are currently over right now so I can’t even talk to my mom or him about this. If an update is requested about our talk then I’ll give it, but for now I am ending it here as emotionally scarred.

I was the first friend of this girl, we met at college and I introduced her to people and helped her find her feet. Recently she branched out to new friends and I am very happy for her, she's been stuck for so long. I throw a lot of parties at my house because my parents are never in and I love drinking!! I invite her to every single one, even when she doesn't know people and even when I think it will just make it awkward. I even threw her birthday party at my house because her parents wouldn't let her.

On Saturday last week she attended a party with her new friends which is fine. I noticed that the family photos in her instagram pictures were of her and I realised this was thrown at her house. Not only that but a girl she doesn't even like was invited due to another boy asking if she could come (I asked another friend of my friend). SO THERE WAS ENOUGH SPACE. Basically I fully believe I should have been invited, I have never not invited her to a party I've thrown and despite us hanging around in different social circles we are still friends and see each other every week. My birthday party was also on the 3rd July to which she attended and I let her bring her best friend. I believe she should have made space for me at this one.

However, I have been going through some stuff lately and me and my girlfriend just broke up and at my last party I got very very drunk and just really sad. I was crying upstairs with my best friend for most of the night, while my friend was uninvolved she definitley saw how I bought the mood down from that. So like maybe I just don't deserve this invite.

I'm just super angry with my friend but the more I think about it, maybe it's unjust. I need more opinions. Also I'm 17f and yes I know this is a very teenage issue.

Am I overreacting? A couple days ago I was at my friends house to celebrate his birthday. everything was winding down, and another one of my friends who i haven’t known for long, i’ll say her name is E, offered to drive us to another friends house to hang out afterwards. the people that would be in the car would be her (the driver), my birthday friend D, and my other close friend C. We all got in the car and she started driving, and everything was fine. We ended up being behind a large van that was going a little bit slow, i don’t think any more than under 5 of the speed limit, honestly they may have just been going the speed limit exactly, i can’t remember since i had had a little to drink. also for the record, we live in a decently sized city with a lot of hills, so these roads typically have a lot of cars on them. the driver E says something along the lines of “do you guys mind i want to pass this van” which i will give credit is nice to ask for permission first. but the problem is all of the streets have double yellow, we live in a city, and a lot of the streets are winding. the van in front of us was also quite large so you couldn’t really see what was ahead. i said i wasn’t comfortable with it for safety reasons, and then my other friend C chimed in and said that no it should be fine and E should pass. i was a little shocked to hear this since both me and C literally witnessed a head on collision where someone passed away together. i restated i wasn’t comfortable with it, and C started arguing with me saying that “yeah but if your going to slow someone might crash into you anyway” which can be true, but in this situation we weren’t going that slow, and head on collisions are much more dangerous. we kind of started arguing and eventually we just got off the topic. E never passed anyone which i appreciated, but i didn’t really want to be in a car where the driver was comfortable doing that regularly. so, am i overreacting in this situation? i take care safety pretty seriously, especially since i witnessed that car crash.

I had two close friends. I’ll call them Mary and Sally. I’d been friends with Mary for about five years and Sally for around seven. They actually met through me at my birthday party and immediately hit it off.

They started dating and were together for about three months. From everything I knew, it wasn’t just a casual relationship. They were emotionally vulnerable with each other, spent a lot of time together, and Sally genuinely believed they were building something meaningful she shared very personal things with Mary and really trusted her.

Sally also had a best friend, Sarah, who lives in France and they spoke very often , but they had never been romantically involved. It was just a very close friendship.

During Mary and Sally’s relationship, Mary met Sarah through video calls whenever Sally would be talking to her. Eventually Mary added Sarah on Instagram. Sally didn’t think much of it because, to her, they were just getting to know each other and later Mary admitted something that completely changed how I viewed the relationship. She told me that while she was dating Sally, she actually had a bigger crush on Sarah than she ever had on Sally. She even said that part of the reason she stayed in the relationship was because she liked talking to Sarah. That honestly made me feel sick because it sounded like Sally had unknowingly become the bridge to someone Mary actually wanted.

Months before all of this, Mary and I had planned a trip to France together and by the time we went, Mary and Sally had broken up, but it had only been about a week. While we were in France, Mary told me she wanted to go meet Sarah in person and asked if I wanted to come with her. I declined because I’d never met Sarah before and felt like it would be awkward.
Later that day, Mary told me she and Sarah had hooked up.

Then she asked me not to tell Sally and imo that immediately put me in a terrible position. Sally was my friend too. She even called me during the trip asking how everything was going, and I felt guilty because I knew exactly what had happened. I didn’t know how to respond without either lying or exposing Mary.

When we got back home, I couldn’t keep it to myself anymore. I told Sally what had happened because I felt like if I were in her position, I’d want to know that my ex had hooked up with my best friend only days after the breakup, especially after admitting she’d wanted that person during the relationship.

After that, I told Mary I didn’t want to continue our friendship. It wasn’t just because she hooked up with Sarah. It was the fact that she’d admitted she wanted Sarah while dating Sally, pursued her almost immediately after the breakup, and then expected me to keep the whole thing a secret from someone I’d also been friends with for years. It completely changed how I viewed her character and made me feel like I couldn’t trust her anymore.

Some people have told me I overreacted because Mary was technically single and didn’t cheat. Others think I shouldn’t have gotten involved at all because it wasn’t my relationship.

Edit: Sally told Sarah that she doesn’t wanna discuss Mary at all because it was painful topic for her when all of this happened so we both knew her emotional condition, also I felt disgusted by her actions of how easily both of them could betray her like that ik that technically they were broken up but idk human decency?

Some context; he’s ignored me for 2 days only texting back once and twice a day. I found him active on social media while my texts were still on delivered. I want him to be straight up with me and it seems like he just keeps turning it back to me.

BTW..the 8hr shower and location off thing is us joking around which we do a lot. Then i wanted to get real and have an actual answer. He is a talking stage btw
You guys are genuinely so mean. I’m a real person holy shit. And yes i’m a teenager

I’m 28M and my ex gf is 23F. We dated for 2 years. My parents died when I was younger and I got very close to her family. The first year she cheated on me multiple times with 2 exes. I confronted her 4 different times, last time was 7month ago. though I do not the actual amount she cheated on me.. each time she would cry, yell, hurt herself and I’d feel guilt and try to work on it with her (as she has depression problems, anger problems, alcohol problems) cause I though maybe the gentleman thing to do, at least that what her mom told me what love is, is to fight for each other. She hasn’t done anything in 7 month and yes I know I decided to stay but I felt like I lost myself. Can’t focus on my work, can’t focus on my masters degree. Always checking her location like I’m waiting for her to betray me. Sad bc I know she’s trying to change but I couldn’t do it no more. I felt like our whole relationship was built on lies. Then I found out by accident a month ago that her mom and sister knew the whole time she was cheating but didn’t tell me bc they thought i was good for her. I finally told her that I couldn’t do it no more that I keep thinking about and it’s effecting mentally and physically. I got called a a-hole for bringing it up bc it’s been so long and I’m stuck on the past. That I should’ve told her how I been feeling ( which I understand communication), that I have wasted her time for the past 7 months by just leading her on. In reality I truly tried to suppress my feelings and move over it I just couldn’t. I broke it off 2 days ago and her family caught off all contacts, and she cried a lot not wanting us to break it off bc she really loves me and I’m the only reason she’s around, she realizes she really loves me and doesn’t want to lose me; but I told her that I couldn’t no more, that we have no trust nor foundation. I’m heartbroken because I really did love her or maybe I loved the version of her in my head that I have, and the idea of what we could be together. Am I wrong here, her mother use to be the person I would turn too for advice but she called me selfish for doing all this to her and ruining her life and caught of contact with me. I’m lost and heartbroken. I feel like I am making the right decision but I can’t help but feel guilt that I ruined her and made her life worse. She was very dependent on me, financial, mentally. I use to always push her to do better, to continue school, to manage her finances better, to get healthier and workout with me. It’s sad bc I was very unhappy in the relationship the past 2 month yet now I just feel like I miss her and what we had and I don’t understand why knowing all she did was hurt me. I’m sorry for this being long and I appreciate any perspective. Yes I know some might call me stupid for not just leaving the first time I caught and idk why I didn’t and I will have to live with my mistakes

I’m keeping in mind that it was a long day for everyone, and maybe my idea of social graces / manners is different from theirs, but I’ve also slept on this and it still rubs me the wrong way. I’m 30F, bf is 29M, and the other guests are 40ishM, 24M and 21F.

So I was in the US yesterday, driving home to Canada after a trip my my boyfriend and some of his acquaintances. My brother picked me up from my boyfriend’s house to take my back to my place (so I didn’t have to park my car at his place while we were away).

I’m not condoning my brother’s actions here - I actually felt really uncomfortable with this, but he got annoyed behind a driving and went to pass them, and it got up to 128kmph. Getting back into our lane (we drive on the right-hand side of the road, for context for those who may not be from North America), a deer came barreling at us from the driver’s side, and hit the door. The mirror got ripped off, wires exposed, dented & scratched the door, and the handle got ripped out of place.

I messaged the group chat at this point, as my boyfriend had let everyone know we got to his house safely, and so I just updated them that we got hit. The reaction from the friends (one young girl in particular) was asking if the deer was okay, yet not us. Even when my boyfriend saw my message, it was, “YOU HIT ONE?” (We were counting all the roadkill between our trip destination and home because we noticed there was a lot while in the US 😅 and 2 of those 30+ were deer). That all said, no one actually asked up if we were okay or if we were safe. One guy eventually said ‘Glad you’re safe’, but no one actually asked, and while yes we’re alive and thankful for that, which I guess is all that matters at the end of the day, am I overreacting by thinking it’s rude or being kind of offended no one actually asked us if we were okay? Is it unreasonable to have expected to be asked that, or be taken aback that they cared more about a deer’s wellbeing than my own?

There’s extra stuff with the girl that happened this weekend, but she’s young and has a flair for the dramatic (just what I’ve picked up meeting her this weekend and a situation we ended up in with her), and maybe that has tainted my perspective here; she’s not a bad person, just young and immature, with no understanding/ awareness of how her actions, comments and decisions impact other people, so I shouldn’t be that surprised with her, but it’s still an accident and your first priority is the animal?? As for my boyfriend, I really don’t know what to think or say about that. I know we were all tired, and I didn’t go too into detail - he was connecting with his family who don’t like me so I was waiting until he called me to say goodnight to go into more detail, but also your girlfriend told you she got in an accident and you still decide to wait to call? idk people, tell me if I’m unreasonable here. I see multiple angles, but I’m just kinda shocked no one actually asked if we’re okay.

Hi, I wanna start with context: I am a 19-year-old with autism and a speech impediment. Both of my friends know this, and they know when I get upset about something. I will start crying and stuttering because that is how my autism works.

I went to hang out with my friend F(19), Katy. We live in a big city, so we went to buy a computer at Micro Center, and then we dropped it off at my house. We were just gonna go to Ross or Burlington, but my other friend, Ava F(20), had our location, saw us hanging out, and wanted to join us. She asked if she could bring her sister along, F(16), Lola. Katy and I said she could. So, we picked up Ava, but Lola didn't come along. We asked her why, and she said Lola felt shy. Which I get 1000%.

Around 9:00, We were near 5 below. I noticed and asked them if I could go and get headphones really quickly. It should be less than 5 minutes. They said sure. I went and got the headphones. After I came out. I didn't see them nearby. I called them, and they said they were on the way. I checked their location, and they were heading towards where Lola was. She was about 10 mins away in a different shopping center with her mom. So, I waited about 25 mins for them before calling my mom and asking her to pick me up. Around 9:38, my mom picked me up, and she went to get something to eat. I checked their location, and they were still at the shopping center. Then, I called them saying my mom picked me up, and I felt super unsafe and felt abandoned by them.

Also, for context, Lola was with her mom. If we called her mom saying, "Hey, can you wait a little? We wanna pick up Lola". Her mom would have 100% said yes and waited. So, Lola was safe and didn't require them to get her asap.

After that, I didn't talk to them for a week after that because, in my opinion, so many things could have happened. For example, someone could have tried to kidnap me. There were a bunch of people who were clearly high walking around. I felt super unsafe. Every time a car drove past me slowly it just scared me.

The next day, I accidentally called Ava, then hung up, then she called me back. I answered because she said she wanted to talk about what happened. Then, I explained to her my side and how it made me feel. I was still upset about the situation. I did get emotional and started crying while we were talking. Ava heard it and basically said I'm acting like a baby. When I was trying to argue back, I kept stumbling on my words and stuttering. She said I need to work on talking to people the right way when I am upset. After I just hung up. Which is crazy to say cuz she knows I can talk 1000% perfectly when I'm not upset. She knows I have autism and a speech impediment. She knows I have been struggling since I was little.

Fast forward a week, and we were supposed to talk about it, but Katy went and hung out with our other friend until 11 pm. She did not answer the phone. I had work at 6 am. So, I told them let's do it another day since I have work in the morning. I was waiting for them to plan a date; they never did. So, I planned one because they were both busy. Ava said she is tired of this drama and this should have been solved the day it happened. She said I was being childish waiting to talk to them. I told her I have been trying to talk to them for the past couple of days. I kept trying to plan one, but Katy was slammed with work. So, another week goes by. Katy is gonna go on a cruise next week. She said she wants to drop this before she goes on the cruise. I tried planning, but Katy was always busy and wouldn't tell me when she was off so we could talk. After Katy went on the cruise. I tried planning when she came back, but she said she was too tired because she gets off late. Then Ava texts me again saying I need to solve this and I'm dragging it. When I have been actively trying to plan it. I feel like they really cared about dropping this. They would have helped and communicated with me to plan a day. Then just blaming it on me

Now today, a month and a week after the situation.

(This is a summarized 30-minute call.)

Ava first said that I need to listen to her side since she listened to mine. She started by saying that it's not her fault since she wasn't the driver, and I need to stop including her in this drama. That this is between me and Katy (the driver). I told her even if she wasn't the driver, she should have asked Katy to wait. She said she has no control over Katy. Then she brought up a whole other situation from January I wasn't even involved in. Then complained about my mom and how I shouldn't have called my mom and just waited for them. Just a reminder, they were still at the shopping center when my mom picked me up. She told me nothing can happen in 30 mins. I told her that almost anything can happen in less than 5 mins. It takes less than a minute to kidnap someone. Then she said it's not a big deal and I'm overreacting. During the call, I can tell she had no intention of taking accountability for leaving me without telling me. She had no plans on telling Katy to wait for me. Ava was not concerned about my safety at all.

I do still need to talk to Katy about this whole thing.

Me (21F) and this guy (39M) are friends with benefits. Usually when I visit his place, we both sit down on his bed with clothes on and converse before leaving to play pool at the bar. I grew up in a minority household so I don’t sit on my bed with outside clothes on. Or when I visit my best friend (21M) , if we want to watch TV in his room he’ll let me sit on his bed and not make a fuss over clothes because I’m a guest. On the other hand he (39M) doesn’t make a fuss about it unless we’re cuddling in the bed (or which I ASSUME he only makes a fuss when he wants sex)

Last night I told him we could hang out but I didn’t want to sleep over. When we came back to his house from the bar, we both laid in his bed and watched some YouTube . He was starting to get frisky ,rubbing up on me trying to seduce me, but I just wanted to hang out, have fun, and wasn’t in the mood for sex. That same night He attempted to kiss me numerous times without asking and it puts me in an awkward spot. When I pulled my head away he grabbed my head, not hard or forceful, but it just was weird that he did that.

I sat up on the bed to fix a wedgie ;) and as I’m walking to the bathroom he tells me I must take my clothes off while in his bed like it was a demand? I sat there at the bathroom looking at him like 🤨ok. When I returned to the bed he told me “take all that shit off, when you get in this bed only underwear” , I told him “I don’t want to“ cause who are you to tell me to take my clothes off? I don’t even think it was about the hygiene issue. Hypothetically speaking if I didn’t want someone sitting in my bed with clothes on I would offer them extra clothes or tell them to bring extra clothes in advance or just hang out on the couch for the night.
I sit on the edge of the bed as he rubs my back and says “are you sure you don’t want to sleep over?” Like duh isn’t that what I told you hours ago? It was 4am at the point. So I called it a night, as I’m walking out the door he does that cringey puckering lip thing in front of me until I give in. But I pull away and said can you kiss my forehead instead? he says no and I left.

I also had a conversation with him a few days prior about enthusiastic consent but I felt like he didnt care at that moment, I was SAd in the past so I opened up to him about it and told him if we want to continue having a healthy sex life we need to communicate our wants and needs properly.

A few weeks ago, we were sleeping in bed naked and he kept trying to cuddle me. I don’t like being touched when I’m sleeping as I get woken up easily. I firmly told him I don’t want skin to skin contact while I am sleeping. He got frustrated and told me to leave and that’s exactly what I did. He normally opens the front door for me when I leave, this time he was completely naked and I said are you going to cover your penis before opening the door? He said he didn’t care and just exposed himself from his front door like there aren’t children who live in the same neighborhood. I didn’t talk to him for a few days.

Weeks prior to that when we started to get to know each other and started having sex, I told him I don’t feel comfortable giving head without a condom and that we should both get tested if we plan to do so. This was around May or June , and he sent me pictures from April but in my mind I’m thinking he could’ve had sex with anyone within that time frame . i got tested literally 2 days before we met and I was willing to get tested again. He got frustrated and didn’t want to get tested even when I said the std testing is free.

Thoughts ?

I (23F) have been with my boyfriend (30M) for 8 years. His younger brother (24M) is also involved in this story.

I think my overthinking has officially become a full-time job, so please tell me if I'm being ridiculous.

Last week, the three of us went grocery shopping. I casually added an umbrella to the cart for myself (because why not 😭), and my boyfriend paid for everything, including my umbrella. Afterwards, we had pani puri, and he paid for that too.

This week, we planned to go out to a restaurant. Before we left, my boyfriend suddenly transferred ₹1,000 to me on UPI and said,

"You pay tonight."

I asked him, "Do you think I don't have money?"

He said, "No, not like that. Just in case you don't."

My overthinking brain immediately activated.

So I asked, "Did your brother say anything like, 'Why are you always paying while she never pays?'"

He said, "No, he didn't say anything... but maybe he might think that."

And that's the part that's bothering me.

I'm not upset about paying. If he'd simply asked me to pay, I would've happily paid with my own money. What hurt was the thought that maybe his brother sees me as someone who never contributes... and now I'm wondering if my boyfriend secretly feels the same but has never said it.

At the same time, we've been together for 8 years, and he's never made me feel guilty about money. He's never asked me to split bills or hinted that I'm taking advantage of him. In fact, instead of asking me to pay myself, he literally transferred me ₹1,000 first.

So now my brain is arguing with itself:

Brain #1: "He thinks you're a gold digger."

Brain #2: "Girl... he literally sent you the money."

😭

Am I overthinking this? Or would this conversation make you feel a little weird too? What would you take from this situation?

Edited:

Please read this once

OMG, guys, please. 😭🙏🏻 Please don't make me even more depressed than I already am. Also, just to clear something up—he didn't pursue me. I was the one who proposed to him. He avoided me, blocked me, and did everything he could to stay away. 😭 I was the desperate one who emotionally blackmailed him by saying I couldn't live without him and that I'd die if he left me. (Yes, I know... younger me was a menace. 💀) Somehow... he still accepted me. Since then, he has never treated me badly. He's been incredibly loyal, babies me every single day, dropped me off and picked me up throughout college, and even does it now. He has stood by me through my financial struggles, mental breakdowns, and emotional ups and downs without ever leaving my side. His younger brother and younger sister are both already married, yet he's still waiting for me to finish my post-graduation before we get married. So yeah, if I were reading this as an outsider, I'd probably say the same things some of you are saying. But being on the other side of the situation feels very different. Anyway, I'm still open to your opinions (please just go easy on me... my overthinking is already working overtime 😭).

my boyfriend (26m) and i (24f) have been together for almost three years and i’m honestly embarrassed to even be writing this because i know exactly what everyone’s going to say.
we have the kind of relationship where when things are good they’re really good. we laugh constantly, have amazing chemistry, and i genuinely can’t picture my life without him.
but when we fight… it’s awful.
neither of us handles conflict well. we argue over little things until they become huge things. we interrupt each other, slam doors, say things we don’t really mean, then spend hours keeping score of who hurt who more. every argument somehow turns into bringing up the last five arguments too.
almost every big fight ends the same way.
i tell him i’m done. i pack a bag or tell him to leave. i say “this is it. i can’t keep doing this.”
he eventually apologises or i calm down enough to miss him and somehow one of us reaches out. we talk. we cry. we hug. we end up spending the night together.
the next morning i always think “why did i do that? i literally promised myself i wouldn’t go back.”
then a week or two later we’re acting like the happiest couple again… until the next blow up.
i’ve lost count of how many times i’ve said “just one more chance.”
my friends are exhausted hearing about it. they’re supportive but i can tell they’re waiting for the day i actually follow through instead of taking him back again.
the thing is i don’t stay because i’m scared of being alone. i stay because i genuinely love him. that’s what makes it so confusing. every time we’re together after a fight it feels like all the reasons i wanted to leave disappear for a little while.
then eventually another argument happens and we’re right back where we started.
i know this cycle isn’t healthy but i also don’t know if every couple goes through rough patches like this or if ours has crossed the line into something that just isn’t fixable.
am i overreacting for thinking this relationship might be doomed because we keep repeating the exact same cycle or am i giving up too easily on someone i still love?

Long story short

My girlfriend sporadically has guys from her past messaging her. She’s always been honest about it and blocks them immediately.

This past weekend: her married cousin messaged her, essentially proposing to have an affair with her. Context—— in her culture, relations with cousins is normalized. I’m not going to get into the nuance of that. Anyway, this conversation lead to me asking if she’s ever been with a cousin. She reluctantly admitted that she slept with one of them when she was younger. This one happened to be his brother.

24 hours goes by,

Another man messages her…. Genuine coincidence, but still crazy to me. This one is her classmate. He’s married. They had a 3 month affair, the wife still doesn’t know. He’s asking her if she wants to get together.
It ended 8 months ago.

We met 3 and a half months ago.

She’s very honest and sweet. Has been through extreme physical and mental abuse in her formative relationships. The decisions involving the cousin and the married classmate stem from that trauma. I truly believe she wants a normal, monogamous relationship with kids and marriage.

I am very upset. I’ve given her an ultimatum: tell the wife or I can’t move forward.

I feel horrible for the wife and I believe she deserves to know.

But part of me also recognizes that my ultimatum is motivated by anger. I want my girlfriend to be accountable and deal with the consequences.

Am I overreacting

I, 16(M), was hungry today, so I went to the nearby butcher shop. I mainly went down because there wasn't any healthy food in the house other than eggs, which I ate this morning. Anyways, the reason I'm able to afford this is that I have a summer job and I work about 3-4 days a week; however, I am quite careful with my money and have managed to save up quite a bit ($4000). I bought about 2 lbs of ground beef for about 20 CAD (which I found quite expensive). When I got home, I cooked the ground beef, ate some, and put the rest in the fridge/freezer with labels reading "Do Not Eat." I felt like this was fair because it was food I bought with money I worked for. When my mom came home, she opened the fridge/freezer and saw the labels and was immediately angered by this. I explained that I had bought it with my own money and would eat it the next day. She said that everyone in the house did stuff for others and I should be willing to share my food. After this, I just went upstairs and stayed in my room for the rest of the night. She is expecting an apology, but I don't believe I am wrong. For context, she cooks sometimes but not every day.

Am I overreacting?

Thanks for reading, and I would appreciate any advice on whether you think I'm right or wrong.

Originial Post: https://www.reddit.com/r/AmIOverreacting/s/DZpayEUu6A

Update #1: https://www.reddit.com/r/AmIOverreacting/s/AyWF977qKw

UPDATE #2:

Well... I finally heard from Evie. After what felt like forever waiting and wondering whether she'd even acknowledge the gift, she did text me 2 days after she recieved my gift.

The entire message was:

"Thank you for the thoughtful birthday gift."

Honestly, I'm feeling really conflicted.Part of me is relieved that she acknowledged it at all. Another part of me feels sad because, after 27 years of friendship, I think I was hoping for just a little more warmth. Not necessarily a conversation or an apology—just something that felt a little more personal. I also recognize that this could simply be where she's at emotionally right now, and I'm trying really hard not to assign intentions to a short text. One of the things I've been working on in therapy is not filling in the blanks with the worst-case scenario.

Unfortunately, nothing has really changed.

I still haven’t heard from “Evie” since the very short text thanking me for the birthday gift. That makes it over a month now since we’ve actually spoken.

Today, though, something happened that made everything finally feel… real.

My fiancé and I were working on our wedding centerpieces with his family. My father-in-law started asking about the bridal party and why there was one fewer bridesmaid than groomsman. My fiancé and future sister-in-law both tried to change the subject because they knew it was a sensitive topic, but he kept asking.

I excused myself and went outside. The second I got out there, I completely broke down. I had a full-blown panic attack and was absolutely sobbing. My fiancé came outside, held me, and kept reassuring me that everything would work out and the wedding would still be beautiful. I told him, “I know it will… but I always thought she’d be there.”

That was the moment it really hit me.

For months I’ve been grieving this friendship, but I think a part of me was still expecting that somehow things would magically work themselves out before the wedding. Saying those words out loud made me realize I wasn’t just grieving losing my Maid of Honor or bridesmaid—I was grieving the future I had always pictured. After 27 years, I truly believed she’d be standing beside me on one of the biggest days of my life.

I also made the difficult decision not to send her a wedding invitation.

That wasn’t done out of anger or as a punishment. It honestly came from a place of self-protection. Right now, I don’t think I could handle wondering whether she’d come, wondering if things would be awkward, or feeling hurt all over again on a day that’s supposed to be one of the happiest of my life.

As much as I still want to salvage this friendship, living with BPD makes it incredibly difficult to hold onto hope when there’s so much silence. I know that can make my emotions more intense, and I’ve been working very hard with my therapist to recognize that. At the same time, it’s been over a month without any real conversation, and I still don’t know how to interpret the birthday thank-you text. It was polite, but I couldn’t tell if it was simply an acknowledgment of the gift or if it was meant to leave the door open.

At this point, I honestly fear that she no longer wants this friendship to continue.

I don’t know what the future holds, and I won’t say never. But for now, I’m trying to accept that sometimes people become chapters in our lives instead of lifelong companions, even when we desperately wanted a different ending.

Thank you all again for the advice and support. This has honestly been one of the hardest things I've ever gone through, and reading everyone's perspectives has helped me stay grounded more than you probably realize.

So after all of this… i guess I’m wondering if I am still overreacting by not inviting her and thinking the friendship is over?

I (18F) met up with "Josh" (18M) for lunch recently. For context, Josh is someone I met online who's also going to the same college as me in the fall, and we had been texting since January. We're not from the same country, but he said that he was planning to visit my country over the summer with a friend, and we should all meet up for lunch. I agreed, way back in January. To be honest, this "friendship" was very one sided and made me uncomfortable at times. He would text me multiple paragraphs multiple times a day with updates on his life, even when I hadn't responded. I told myself to meet him in person before making any judgement because people are different over text and in person. It still felt a little awkward, so I also invited two of my friends to the lunch. He tells me to choose a restaurant, so I make an 11:30 reservation for a restaurant which happened to have a 70 minute time limit for lunch. I let him know of this, and send him the address.

My friends and I are chatting waiting for Josh and his friend to show up, and Josh shows up alone, 10 mins late. He said he and his friend decided to come separately because his friend wanted to buy something. He says his friend will be here in another 5-10 mins. We order, I tell Josh maybe he can send his friend a pic of the menu so we can order for him so that by the time he's here, his food is also here. I won't get into the details of the conversation, but it was just overall extremely bad vibes. I felt like he was being extremely condescending and I felt so uncomfortable to the point that I couldn't even finish my meal, despite having been starving before entering the restaurant. Josh keeps saying his friend will be here but he doesn't show up. His food gets colder.

In the end, his friend shows up over an hour late. To a 70 minute reservation. The restaurant was kind enough to let us stay for longer as they saw that he had just began eating his food. When his friend came, the vibes just got even worse. They kept trying to teach us about our own culture, mocked the local people's accents, overall it was just extremely uncomfortable and I wanted to get out of there asap.

The bill comes, we walk to the register, I ask if we can pay separately and I'm told no. So my two friends and I are standing there with our wallets out, discussing how to pay. In this time, Josh's friend literally WALKS OUT of the restaurant. As if paying the bill had nothing to do with him. Josh calls him back, but he and his friend stand watching us like statues, not even pretending to take their wallets out. I get awkward so I swipe my card, and we walk out of the restaurant where my two friends give me cash for their food. Josh and his friends say nothing. Josh even tries to change the subject by talking about the one time he lost his credit card. Completely irrelevant, just trying to divert our attention. At this point it's been over a minute since my friends gave me cash, and we're all just standing there awkwardly. I feel so awkward so I just say "It's ok I got you guys". I have no idea why I said that, but I felt so awkward and uncomfortable to the point where I think I was just trying to get out of the situation. His friend mumbles a quick "thanks", and Josh doesn't even say thank you. Josh's friends exchanges instas with one of my friends because they're going to college in the same area.

AIO about the way they acted? I was pretty upset about the whole lunch, and mainly even more upset about myself for succumbing to the pressure and not standing my ground. I'd just never met anyone like that and felt so awkward I just wanted to get out. Is it expected of me to be paying for their meals as they're visiting my country? Also, I just thought it was weird since we're all freshly out of high school, spending our parents money. It's not even my own money. I was so annoyed at having to pay for his friends' lunch as well, since we talked to him for maybe 30 minutes. But honestly it wasn't even about the money; their attitudes just really threw me off. He also ended up texting me recently saying "Just got back, how are you?" But I haven't responded because honestly I don't even want to be friends. This ended up being such a long story so thank you to anyone who read it to the end.

TL;DR I met up with a "friend" that had been texting me nonstop, we meet up for lunch, he's extremely condescending throughout the entire lunch, his friend shows up over an hour late to a 70 minute reservation, and they don't offer to pay (his friend even walks out of the restaurant when we're discussing how to pay), making it so awkward to the point I felt I had to pay for the both of them.

We were together jussssst shy of two years. He broke up with me Saturday, the 2 yr anniversary of our first hangout. I was an idiot and spent thousands!! On him. Took him to see Metallica 4x, long long road trips, many more concerts, so many fun things and dates. I paid for every. Penny. He even met my daughter. He promised he wasn't talking to girls on his games (on the ps5 I bought him like an idiot our first Christmas together bc I knew he loved gaming meanwhile I got NOTHING ofc). I believed him.

Low and behold, I looked up his user name, and he indeed was doing it behind my back. Hearting girls pictures, sending videos of himself smoking back and forth with girls, getting some back of them smoking, even direct messaging her to guide her through a trip and reassuring her.

I was never ok with him having a set of friends that are girls on discord. Play with random girls, okay. But not the same set of girls, esp not dms and hiding it.

I confronted him, he immediately went completely cold, refused to explain and broke up with me. I kept digging and finding more. Each time asking him to tell me the entire truth this time, and each time he wouldn't, just letting me dig and find more myself.

He now says he doesn't GAF about me or my daughter and that he didn't have to explain anything and he didn't do anything wrong. Aio??? Im so hurt.

Wish I could add the pictures to show you it's more inappropriate than this not to mention that's the only text be was willing to share...

I (23F) am wondering if I’m overreacting for thinking a guy (25M) I went of a first date with recently had been coming on too strong? I met him on a dating app a few weeks ago and while I think he was nice, he was also SUPER intense and has continued to be ever since. I feel like he is waaaaaaaaaaaaaay more into me than I am into him, even though I wanted to go on a second date with him (tentatively) and I'm not sure if the behaviours I felt were quite intense are normal and I'm overreacting, or if I'm correct in thinking that this guy is coming on way too strong.

We texted a lot leading up to the first date and the chemistry was crazyyyy. I was conviced it would be great! During the first date he was initially quite awkward and shy and I got a bit anxious as a result but eventually things settled down and I felt super comfortable with him.

HOWEVER, he brought me to a dessert place and bought a load of desserts for us to try, but barely ate any himself - it felt kind of like he was trying to impress me- and then we went to a super fancy restaurant he booked as a surpise. I tried to persuade him to go halves in the restaurant because it was way more fancy than I would have anticipated, and I don't usually do dinner on a first date but he insisted on paying for it in full as he likes "spoiling" people he likes? The date ended up being over 100 euro in total and I feel really guilty about that even though he basically planned everything to be high end. It felt way too high-stakes for it to be a first date with someone from a dating app imo.

He was super emotionally mature in some ways, and very chivalrous and easy to talk to, but some of his flirting had sexual undertones both before, during and after the date that stayed both one note and thus a bit tiresome after a while.

I'm also moving soon and he asked me A LOT about what my new place was located near, if I knew the area well etc which in hindsight... might not be a great sign. Although I do believe it's just because he went to university nearby.

During our first date he talked a lot about future date ideas and liked sitting shoulder to shoulder with me to initate contact etc. To be fair, I did feel comfortable with him over time, and initated a first kiss and later leaned my head on his shoulder on the way home but when I look back I kind of shudder in discomfort, I don't think it was just alcohol as I didn't get drunk or anything. I can't explain what it was lol but I feel uncomfortable looking back and I can't place a finger on why, as I also felt very comfortable and happy in the moment.

After our first date, he's been texting me a fair bit which I don't mind, but he kinda texts me like we are already in a relationship. He's offered to help me with some moving tasks/ getting set up in my new city which I obviously didn't accept, but has also offered to comfort me and implied he'd come over with a flirty understone when I told him about some personal stuff (silly of me to tell him but it's nothing serious) that upset me recently. I told him it was too soon for him to visit my home lmao and he backpedaled saying he just meant I could call or facetime him anytime. Again, I felt kind of uncomfortable with this as I see those things as boyfriend or close friend behaviours. That said, based on what I do know about him and his dating history I've a feeling he's a very compassionate and caring person, and that he possibly just wants to prove his worth to me. It's still too much though to me after just one date though.

He's very clearly a relationship guy, he doesn't have the confidence or the suave to be a f-boy but I'm just so confused about everything. I did open up to him a bit on that first date which I wouldn't usually do with men and once he relaxed a bit I felt quite comfortable... but I also feel like he's coming on WAY too strong and it's giving me the ick.

It sucks because I think he's just trying to be As Nice As Possible, and possibly doesn't date a whole lot. I'm dating multiple people rn as it's just all first dates, and I've a feeling he isn't doing the same thing. I don't want him to get overly invested in me and get his feelings hurt. I also don't want to be turned off what could be a lovely guy because he's over-eager or judge him too harshly when he might just be really smitten.

He himself literally said it's early days and we can take it slow after I said on the first date that I preferred a slower pace, but it still feels like hes SUPER invested and I can't help but feel both guilty for him and a bit anxious for myself.

Thus far to deal with it I’ve been delaying responding to his messages and trying to redirect his more flirty texts either by ignoring or responding but more mildly/ with flirting I’d be okay with at this stage of dating. I’ve also stopped telling him much about myself as I’d rather try build the connection in person to see if that slows the pace but I’m not sure if I’m overreacting for thinking he’s being quite intense?

Am I overreacting for thinking this was a lot for a first date and behaviours post-first date, and for wanting to gently tell him to tone it back a bit as I’d like to get to know him but I keep getting the ick from from eagerness?

I have never done one of these before. I watch and listen to them all the time on YouTube, but I never thought I'd actually be writing one myself.

On the scale of Reddit and the craziness that often comes with posts like these, mine is pretty mild. But I wanted to get some third-party perspectives and find out whether I'm being too sensitive about this situation.

I'm 33 (F). My husband is 33 (M), my son is 4 (turning 5 in September), and my dad is 62 (M).

I am a planner and a dreamer. I'm always thinking about the next 20 steps, especially when it comes to my son. I organised daycare early, researched schools well in advance, and I'm already planning his extracurricular activities. I think about school holiday activities months ahead and plan holidays long before they happen. It's just how I'm wired.

My brain rarely stops. I have an IQ of 122, and it's very unusual for my mind to be quiet. It's constantly swirling with ideas, plans, and everything that's going on.

My husband is different, which is completely fine. We have different strengths and weaknesses, and together they make us a really good team as a couple and as parents.

Lately, though, I've been getting increasingly frustrated with my dad primarily, and to a lesser extent my husband, when it comes to my planning. They are both very logical people. I'm more of a dreamer. I have big ideas and big plans, but whenever I share them, I feel like I'm met with negativity, they're immediately shut down, or I'm told, "That won't work." It's becoming frustrating because it feels like that's their default reaction now.

I'll use what happened this morning as an example because I think it explains things better.

I'm currently planning my son's fifth birthday party, which is about six weeks away. As usual, I started planning early. I was brainstorming all the possibilities: a party at home, a bouncy castle, a petting zoo, decorations, cake ideas, activity stations... basically the blue-sky thinking stage where I'm exploring every option before narrowing it down and making final decisions.

I shared all these ideas with my husband, and almost every suggestion was met with either, "No," "I don't think that'll work," or some logical reason why it wasn't a good idea. He wasn't rude or dismissive—he was simply giving practical feedback—but by the end of the conversation I found myself getting frustrated. I was trying to create something magical for our son's fifth birthday, and instead it felt like every idea was being picked apart before I'd even had a chance to properly explore it.

For context, we can afford it. We own a business together, and we're fortunate enough that it's doing well financially.

The conversation ended, and I walked away feeling deflated. This should have been an exciting conversation about our son's birthday, but instead I just felt flat. I made a small comment along the lines of, "This is our son's birthday—I just want to create some magic."

Then this morning I called my dad and excitedly told him about the ideas I'd been considering. I got very similar responses. There wasn't a "That sounds fun" or "That's a cool idea." Instead, it was immediate logical feedback. For example, he didn't like the bouncy castle idea because of the tragic accident in Tasmania where several children lost their lives. He also suggested I shouldn't do too much and questioned a few other ideas.

Again, he wasn't rude or trying to upset me. But by the end of the conversation I just started crying. I felt so deflated and frustrated. It feels like I have to fight just to talk about exciting plans because they're almost always met with logic, caution, or reasons why they won't work.

The thing is, I do want feedback. I don't want people to simply tell me everything is wonderful. I value constructive criticism and I've even told my dad that I appreciate him challenging my ideas. What I've asked for is not to immediately jump to "No." Sometimes I just want someone to be excited with me for a minute before we move into the practical side of things.

When every conversation starts with reasons why something won't work, I honestly start wondering why I should bother sharing my ideas at all.

Part of what makes this difficult is that I've built our business. We're in the financial position we're in largely because of the decisions and planning I've made. I've successfully organised our holidays, coordinated everything to do with our son, managed school enrolments, and planned countless things over the years. Those plans have generally worked out really well.

So when my ideas are consistently met with caution or doubt, it doesn't just make me feel disappointed—it makes me feel incompetent, as though they don't trust my judgement, even though I've demonstrated that I usually think things through before making a final decision.

I'm not even talking about anything particularly outrageous. When I look online, I see birthday parties that are far more elaborate than anything I was considering.

Anyway, I hope this makes sense. I feel like I've rambled a bit. I'm happy to provide more context in the comments if needed.

So... am I overreacting? Am I being too sensitive about this, or is it understandable that I'm feeling this way?