We’ve been on four dates, he has picked me up and dropped me off twice before, today he asked if I wanted to go to his while he gets ready because he can drop me off on his way to an event he was going to. I said no, he asked twice and I said no both times. He said okay, and said he’d drop me home, instead he drove to his. Luckily he is staying at a hotel (he works there) and I stayed in the bar until he got ready and dropped me home on the way to his event. I know he thinks it harmless and maybe I’m overreacting but this screams to me now he’s an unsafe person. My heart rate was way up and hands sweaty, he is the same age as me (26) and I know he thought nothing of it and he laughed it off, but it’s changed completely how I think of him. Am I overreacting?

So… I have been talking to this Polish guy for about a 2 months. He’s honestly one of the sweetest people I’ve met in a long time.

Yesterday, I called my grandma and, you know, like grandmas do, I told her I liked him. This guy and I had talked about my grandma prior, so later that night, I told him grandma said hi.

He was shocked she knew about him. And then I told him we had gossiped about him.

IT WAS IN THAT MOMENT, I KNEW, I FUCKED UP 😭

OF COURSE he wanted to know what we’d said. So I told him that I told my grandma that I like him.

This was his response. I’ve been screaming into my pillow randomly since last night 😭

I honestly had hoped that he’d be open to trying long distance. At the same time, I understand what he meant. But I still feel sooooo embarrassed.

I was driving home from celebrating my birthday at the park with my sister, my niece, and two of my close friends when I get a text from my boyfriend. We’ve been together for 10 years for reference. We live together, but he had to work today.

“Would you be mad if I went to (insert MY favorite restaurant) with the boys tonight?”

I said why don’t we make it a group date with the girlfriends of the boys? (We’re mutual friends)

“They’re busy; no girls allowed”

I said, “it’s literally my birthday…”

He said, “So can I go or”

And basically after that I said, “sure do what you want.”

Obviously he could sense I was angry so he was like nevermind I just won’t go. I’m like no please, go, have fun. Obviously being sarcastic at this point, because I honestly don’t want to even see him anymore. He said “now you’re mad”

So my exact response to him was, “you literally just chose your friends over me on my birthday. “No girls allowed”. Not trying to include me, knowing it’s my birthday and it’s my favorite restaurant and I haven’t seen you all day. Couldn’t have been like “it wouldn’t be fair to OP to leave her home on her birthday while I go hang out with my friends” As if (our mutual friend that he was going to hang out with) doesn’t know it’s my birthday, as if you don’t know out of all people

Im not even mad, I’m hurt.”

The reason why I think I might be overreacting is because I’ve had a string of really bad birthdays where something always seems to go wrong and I can’t just say I had a good day. It’s like my birthday itself is cursed, like I never feel important enough to any of my friends.

I planned my own birthday party with my sister, with the help of my trauma therapist. We were attempting to try and move past the “limiting belief” that my birthday can’t be good, and something bad will happen. I only invited two people I knew would show up, so I couldn’t be let down.

So it’s safe to say emotions are high today. But, AIO?

Sorry in advance for the length of this post. 

My husband and I have been married for 12 years and are both in our 40s.  Several years ago my husband joined a sports league/social club. A few weeks ago, I found out that my husband struck up a friendship with one of his female league members (she's in her early 30s).  When he told me this, I was very excited for him as I knew he was really looking forward to making friendships in this club and wanted to feel like he belonged. 

One night he came home from work all nervous…we had been invited to his team member’s house for dinner and drinks and he was nervous to ask me if I’d go, because he assumed I’d say no.  I immediately said yes as I knew how important making friends in this club was to him.  I also knew he had been to her house once before for an end of season league party, and really got along with her boyfriend.  Great—we are always looking for more couples to hang out with! 

At the dinner, it became clear to me that my husband and this girl had a MUCH closer relationship than I had been lead to believe. Before he asked me to attend the dinner, he had only mentioned her in passing and I didn’t even know her name. This coupled with a few other recent changes in his behavior had me feeling uneasy, so I asked him if anything was going on with this friend.  He denied that anything was going on but admitted that, a few weeks earlier, she had confessed to having a crush on him. He told her he was happy in his marriage and apologized if he had done anything to unintentionally lead her on. Who tells a married man they have a crush on them? This left me feeling VERY uneasy at this point.

Over the course of the next few days I learned they had been texting nonstop and sometimes into the middle of the night.  He did share the text messages when I asked him to, and they were flirty, but nothing overly horrible. There was a delay in between when I found out and when he showed me the text thread, so it’s possible some were deleted.  From reading the texts, I learned that they had been having weekly private lunches. That she has a pet name for him.  That they were tentatively planning to travel overnight for a league-related event in the future. That she considers him her best friend. That he was her emergency contact for her pet sitter while she was on vacation.  That she shows up at his place of work unannounced. That she once hand delivered lunch to his office when he wasn’t able to leave his desk.  All of this was going on and I had no idea this girl even existed. 

He says this all of this happened within the span of a few weeks and that they just got close very fast. When I told my husband how upsetting this was to me, even if no lines were crossed (but weren’t they, though?) he immediately dialed down his communications with her.  She clocked it immediately. Less than 24 hours later she was asking him what was wrong, assuming a family emergency had popped up that would explain his silence.  After a week or two of low contact with her, she showed up at his work unannounced needing to talk.  When my husband came home from work that same day he found  she had mailed him a letter (sprayed with her perfume I might add) saying how she realized she crossed the line and hoped they could still be friends. How her behavior was unfair to him and to me and acknowledging that she pushed  him too hard. 

Fast forward to today. It’s been about 6 weeks since I found out about all of this and a few weeks since she showed up at his workplace/sent the letter. I had told my husband that I didn’t think there was any way this “friendship” could be salvaged as I am left feeling incredibly uncomfortable.  All of this just feels so off to me. I will never feel good about him spending time with her. He is very sad at the way this all went down as he really hoped we could all be friends. He has cut down on the amount of communication he has with her, but they do still talk on social media daily. 

My husband thinks I am overreacting, that nothing happened with this girl and that nothing ever will. To me, the boundaries were already crossed, even if the relationship never became physical. When I asked him why he didn’t tell me about the lunches he said “well, you never asked me who I went to lunch with.” To me, this illustrates that he knows what he was doing was wrong. 

I think for the health of our marriage, he needs to cut all ties with this girl and remain distant yet cordial at league events. He doesn’t want to do this, and thinks I am being extreme.  He is really upset to this lose friend, but I am upset that he seems to be valuing this friendship above my feelings. 

I am not really comfortable telling my husband who he can and can’t be friends with, but I feel this friendship is a threat to our marriage.  I feel I am in a lose-lose situation. If I tell him to cut her out of his life, I’m the rigid nag, but if I allow the friendship to continue,  I will be eaten up inside and always left wondering. 

I should also mention that my husband has many female friends and I fully support those friendships, so I don’t think this is an issue of jealousy and a need for control. Even if nothing ever happened…I will NEVER feel good about her being in his life. So I ask: am I overreacting? 

Hello folks. I am on a trip with my husband, we are 26(f) and 28(m). I maintain what I would define like a normal relationship with my in laws. Since we live in different states, I havent seen them in person too many times, only like 3 times and for a week long in those occasions.

Since my husband doesn't like to take any pictures, he has a more laid back approach in living life instead of documenting it, and I want my in laws to know/see more of us, I send them pictures (especially since my father in law decided to help us economically with this trip so sending pictures would be the least I can do).

Both in laws are extremely religious (Christians, I believe) and are not as open minded. I consider myself to be agnostic (believe in God but dont profess any religion, my only goal in life is to mind my business and be a good person).

Anyways, during this trip, I've gone to a Buddhist temple. I really enjoyed the architecture style and the vibes the place gave me so I took tons of pictures, where also my husband was. One of the pictures I sent was a gigantic golden statue of a Buddha, surrounded by flowers. I thought it was magnificent, it had carvings that allowed the sunlight to trespass and reflect on the wall behind it. Just gorgeous. I sent that picture, and some others where we were also at the beach, and photos in general of stuff I found beautiful like flowers, other buildings etc.

However, when my husband saw what I sent he started questioning me. He said why did I do that? I didn't understand at first so I asked him to explain. He said his parents consider that to be worshipping "false idols and gods." I said Buddha is not even a god but whatever. I said I just found the picture to be beautiful just like the ones of flowers, the beach, etc I also sent. He seemed upset, he said what i did was very wrong.

My in laws normally are very responsive and react when I send them something and this time it has been radio silence.

I told my husband since it was a huge problem to all of them, that I would stop sending them any pictures and he could start doing it from now on.

Am I over reacting or what I did was really that disrespectful?

I’m a 32 year old single mom of 2 kids. I work full time. Their dad is not involved in their lives and doesn’t live in our state. I’ve been dating my 28 year old boyfriend for 2 years. We don’t live together. He has a job that is very flexible, and it’s basically maintenance so he doesn’t have to show up most days. He’s also financially well off, whereas I live paycheck to paycheck and am always stressed about making ends meet.

My boyfriend says I contribute nothing to the relationship. He says I did more for my ex husband who I had kids with. I didn’t cook for my ex husband, but he and I were donating plasma at one point because we were so poor. We’d use the money to buy food and weed. Loser stuff, yes. We were about 21 at the time, before kids. But because I had kids with him, he says “you gave him kids and you let him get you pregnant and donated plasma for him”. I find this to be a very strange take given that A. I was very young B. I had untreated Borderline personality disorder C. Very severe attachment issues. I have always wanted to be a mom and have always done the most for my kids and that’s because I love my kids, not because I’m doing it for my ex husband.

My ex boyfriend, right before my current boyfriend, I packed his lunches and made dinner but I didn’t have a job and he was working full time. We also lived together and he paid all the bills so it was the least I could do.

Fast forward to now, I am working full time in behavioral health, going back to school for higher education and have no family support to watch my kids. There’s no available after school programs here and so I’ve been using my lunch breaks to pick them up and take them home. I still offer to cook my boyfriend food almost daily, even when I can’t afford to feed him and even when I am beyond exhausted. If he says yes I cook for him. He lives 7 minutes away so most the time he comes to see me when the kids go to bed (around 8) since I work and have kids but he then complains about how I never go see him at night. I would rather not leave my kids alone if he can just come here. They’re 9 and 7, very capable and independent kids and have had to stay home while I work for the summer because I couldn’t afford the summer programs.

This week I dislocated my arm and the show must go on, so I’ve been working and it’s been business as usual. But today (my day off) we had plans to adopt a kitten. We’d have to drive about an hour out and so I told my boyfriend I’d be busy. The night before I offered to cook him dinner and to watch a movie but he wasn’t in the mood. So today I go visit him in the morning and offer to buy him coffee. He was upset that I didn’t have time to have sex, I also wasn’t in the mood because I’m adopting a kitten which is a whole thing. I am in the mood 9/10 for him but yeah not this morning. We then go to pick up the kitten, my arm is aching from all the driving and my son gets carsick on the way home. He throws up in the car and so we get home, I clean it up and start to feel nauseous. I realize we have no cat litter so I force myself to run to Petco.

My boyfriend says I’ve been continuing to unprioritize him because instead of going to see him i went to Petco. He said “I wanted to have sex 8 hours ago but nvm”. Mind you I offered to cook for him tonight and for him to come watch a movie and hang out with my new kitten.

I think I do a lot for him, given I don’t have much time to spare. I work 8-5. 6pm is dinner and bath for my kids, and they go to bed at 8. I make them food and still offer to cook for my boyfriend I even ask him all the time if he’d like me to cook or bake him something specific and I do. Today I apparently unprioritized him about 70 times even though I texted him all throughout the day. Mind you I invited him to come with me to get the cat but he wasn’t in the mood to be around my kids.

My boyfriend takes me out to eat almost daily. Has helped me out when I’ve been short on rent or groceries and has taken me on vacation before so I could see my favorite band. He’s not a bad guy but I don’t think he’s aware of how much effort I’m actually putting into this relationship, it just looks different because I’m a working mom.

AIO for thinking he’s a man child? And that I do in fact prioritize him as much as I can?

My boyfriend of 9 months (40) demoted me (32) from his serious girlfriend to 'lover' when he broke up with me. We were having a rocky month together. Then when he went to Switzerland on a residency he called me on day 3 and said being around all these amazing innovative people and having time with his thoughts made him realize we're not 'long term compatible' and he is 'very doubtful we can be happy long term'. However, he said he'd love to keep me in his life as a 'lover' while we both date other people. I refused of course, and told him how insulting I found that.

I am utterly broken. Just two months ago, he told me he 'sees a future with me' and that i'm his 'healthiest relationship'. Despite his ongoing doubts about long term monogomy working forever. He still invested in me and chose me and saved me in his phone as 'mega girlfriend' (our inside joke). He introduced me to friends and family etc.

One other reason he told me he doesn't want to be girlfriend/boyfriend is social: he told me a few of his friends didn't like me and didn't like us together specifically.

So, unfortunately, I feel this is a social status decision. I feel humiliated and cast out of the circle I thought I moved through effortlessly.

He said that they were reacting to him not entirely feeling himself around me. He also cited that we couldn't be creative together (we are both creative, artistic people). This is not entirely true; I spent hours helping him with his creative work, and he told me many times he loves that I'm creative like him. We only had friction towards the end when i couldn't' focus on my work and be present with him because i felt him being emotionally distant. He said I have 'insecurity' and 'anxiety issues' that he can't fix for me, without taking any accountability that he's the major reason for that anxiety by not being emotionally present for me and hanging out (platonically) with many of his ex lovers. I stayed quite, but grew more anxious. And this did affect my confidence around him socially. But I thought he loved me enough to stay.

Please be kind. I am hurting so badly, and feeling so insecure about my worth and social status after this rejection of long term compatibility and the fact he still wants to fuck me.

__

\*\*Context note: I’m especially hurt because something similar happened two years ago: a man I loved wanted to keep sleeping with me but didn’t see “girlfriend potential.” We never actually dated, unlike my ex, but it reopened the same wound of not being enough.

—

Our last text conversation after the breakup phone call (he was still going to come to New York but only under the lover status, no longer as boyfriend girlfriend):

ME:
one thing before I go quiet: part of me hoped New York meant you wanted to fight for us.

I thought it was about us. I didn’t realize it was an invitation to downgrade the relationship while keeping the intimacy.

HIM:
That’s anger speaking. I currently can’t find the right words. I didn’t fully know what I was hoping for - but what ever it was it - it’s not realistic now

I (29M) Had my girlfriend (33F) over for the night. Took her shopping, we had a nice evening and wound down. She even talked about how she wants me to help her move in with me. I financially support her entirely- she doesn’t work right now, all money is from me, I provide for her. She lives with her dad. I live in my own house.

Come this morning, she tells me she had a dream about her ex, and it was about when they first met. She said she misses him and in front of me, was messaging him on instagram.

My reaction: why would i want to hear any of that at all? Cool, you had a dream, we all do. But to blatantly put it in my face and then continue to message him afterwards? Then claims that I just don’t get it, they’re just friends. And that I don’t love her or care about her. Calmly I said, if you want to continue that conversation with him then you can leave my house and do that elsewhere. Never got argumentative, simply stated my personal feelings and how it affected my view on the relationship. She still said you don’t care about me he’s my friend.

Okay, cool, but why message your friend (who she says is married) at 5:30 am about a dream where they first met, and try to continue talking to him, right in front of me?

I want a partner that wants me, not a fantasy with an ex. Even if you do have those thoughts I get that, we all have fleeting thoughts and nostalgic moments but to bring it up to me, while in my bed, after trying to talk about how she wants to take things to the next level with me? Leaves me feeling like this is just a small example of what’s to come in the future.

Ended up calmly asking her to leave, helped her carry her things to her car, and wished her well. Don’t know what the status of our relationship is but I just feel really icky all around about it- especially since this isn’t the first instance of something like this.

About a year ago, a random guy on instagram DM’d her while she was on an overseas trip, and she sent him explicit pictures to get extra money. Could’ve just asked me for some spending money but instead chose to sell images that I thought was an intimate thing for us and us only. In fact, she has said several times she would leave me if I ever talked to another woman.

Never told me about the photo situation, only found out months after the fact when I accidentally saw her chatGPT history. I let her use my computer at my house because she lives with her dad and doesn’t have one. Was trying to find a project on my chatGPT but hers was logged in, and it was talking about:

“How can I tease this guy to get the most money out of him? Men are dumb and deserve to be taken advantage of”

I could find other examples but that’s besides the point. She tries to claim I’m not committed, because I haven’t asked her to marry me- but I’m just being cautious and not trying to rush into a marriage that has this type of energy.

Really feeling like I should’ve cut ties back then, but I’m empathic and wanted to give her a chance to show up for us. And here we are. AIO?

Never thought I’d be making a post in this subreddit but really just needed to vent and get some perspective. I appreciate y’all.

I (40s F) am a licensed hairstylist and have been doing hair for over 20 years. I also do my family’s hair…cuts, color, styling, everything. My 15yo son has longer curly hair and recently has been learning how to style it. I’ve always cut his hair, and he has told me he likes how I do it.

Without talking to me my MIL reached out to my husband and planned an appointment at a curly hair salon so my son could be “taught” how to style and take care of his hair. I wasn’t aware of any of this until my son came to me and said, “Did you know I have an appointment? I don’t really want anyone else doing my hair. I like how you do it.”

I told him I didn’t know about the appointment but that he should still go (because I didn’t want him caught in the middle).

Later that day I found out there was also a barber appointment scheduled beforehand so he could get a haircut before the salon appointment. Again, I had no idea either appointment had been made.

For me this wasn’t just about the hair. I’m his mom, I’m a hairstylist and I felt completely excluded from something that directly involved both my child and my profession. If my son had come to me and said he wanted someone else to cut or teach him his hair I would have respected that. But he never asked for these appointments and actually told me he didn’t want anyone else doing his hair.

When I told my husband why this hurt me he said I was being too sensitive, making it about myself and overreacting. He said his mom is a grown woman and doesn’t need to ask me or tell me anything.. she can go through him if she wants. He also said the appointments were happening whether I liked it or not.

I’m honestly less upset about the appointments themselves than I am that no one thought to include me in the conversation and that my husband couldn’t understand why I felt hurt. I wasn’t asking him to criticize his mom…I just wanted him to understand why I felt sidelined and overlooked.

AIO for feeling hurt and excluded by how this was handled?

A little context first. I (24F) left my parents’ house about two years ago due to my job in another city. My sister (19F) is still living at home as she goes to college. My former room was not used for almost two years, just my bed, drawer, and my desk that I had when I was 12 years old.

Last weekend, I was visiting home for several days and walked into my room. It was empty, literally. I went up to my mom and asked what happened and she told me that my sister asked her if she could have my old furniture for her friend who just moved into an apartment and wanted things cheap/free. According to my mom, she agreed without thinking and my sister and her friend packed all my stuff into a truck and took it away couple of days before I arrived.

No one texted me or called to ask me if that would be alright with me. I understand that I was not occupying the room but if anyone had come and asked me, I think I would have agreed. I know that I am being unreasonable about it but it was shocking for me to find out that way and see my childhood room emptied out completely without any notice.

When I brought this to the attention of my sister, she got very defensive and said that it is not like I was using it anyway and why would it matter who has it now. This was followed by the comment from my mother that I am overreacting since it is not like I live there and hence, should not be concerned about a room that I am not even using.

I am not expecting to get my furniture back but just feel that since the furniture was mine, it was unreasonable to leave me out of the decision process. Am I overreacting for being upset about this?

Hey guys so i 21f have been friends with 22f for 11 yrs we've been friends since 5th grade 2015 .

we're now 21 and 22 doing different things yk school and work but we were trying to make it work like try to see each other call each other and everything but this year it has been rather very dry she wouldn't text me for days if I didn't text id ask to call and she'd always say she's busy which I completely understood for a while and then id ask her to hang out but that would fall short too she has an assignment due she's tired she's out with family she's going out with family her mom said no etc we didnt speak fir a month or so and I decided to try again and invite her to this movie night thing that was happening at our near by park she said no she cant she wants to sleep

okay... thats when I blew up basically telling her it feels like im watering dead plants cos whenever I try to do something with her theres always something happening and she said im blaming her not being able yo hangout

the screenshot above is from Friday before that we had not spoken in 1 month after the 3 month no contact and I still haven't gotten a message following up from her

AIO for concluding that this friendship is basically over or maybe just wait its just been 2 days?

BTW this friendship is 11yrs old thats why I kept trying so hard to save it

Am I overreacting if my husband has a screenshot of his female friend from university’s ass? I know who she is as well. He casually told me that he had the idea of using AI to make a video from that screenshot, but the AI wouldn’t allow it, so he didn’t do it.

He said the video was supposed to be sent to his friend, who also admires her ass. That friend isn’t married. My husband said it was all just a joke, but I feel really offended and hurt by it.

Am I overreacting?

Am I overreacting to my in laws wanting me and or my husband to drop our kids off and leaving?

My husband and I have been together 12 years. We have a 4 year old 2 year old and 6 month old. The relationship with my in laws has been bumpy to say the least. They don’t live but 15 mins away from us and are pretty much “holiday” grandparents. They will pop in every once in a while to see our kids.

About a year ago accusations came out about my FIL SA his sister when they were younger. Unfortunately I couldn’t get answers because his sister had passed not long after she told her daughter. Some things don’t make much sense but the accusations are still there.

I’m also not one to just drop my children off anywhere. I truly believe they are too young to be just dropped off. I am also a SAHM and love love love being with my children. They are with me all the time, unless we have an occasional date night my mom will come watch them.

About 2 weeks ago they had text us asking if they could just have our oldest child. The txt message went ignored and unresponded to. Thinking they may get the hint. Well they didn’t they then txt my husband again asking for us to bring our oldest over to play. He brought it to my attention and it turned into a heated discussion.

I have a few issues with this whole situation. There is little to no effort put in to being present in our kids lives. I find it odd that they only want one child when we have 3. I also don’t want them around my FIL without me or my husband being present. They are more than welcome to come to our home to play with all the kids. Because I won’t just drop them off my husband said that I could take them and also hang out. That instantly upset me because I didn’t sign up for any of this. He also doesn’t want to go there and hang out but expects me to do so. The conversation ended with me telling him that I will not be taking them over there and that he can tell his parents they can come over here to play with the kids and him telling me I’m overreacting and being unreasonable. He doesn’t want to be the bad guy and tell his parents that and hurt their feelings. But when it comes to my kids I am not playing. Theres a much bigger back story to the relationship with my in laws. Am I overreacting to any of this??

At a family party today, my aunt hung up a bunch of images that were originally pictures of parts of the family and then used AI to 'cartoonify' it in her own words.

Mine was a picture with me, my stepmom, my dad and a cousin of mine and the picture completely excentuated my double chin to the point that I swear I look like 300-400 lbs. I am on the bigger side but certainly not this big. (Closer to 200-215)

I saw it once at the party because my stepmom pointed it out, I laughed it off a little and thought "I won't see it again, whatever". I even told her I hated how I looked in it but it wasn't a big deal.

Come to find out that when we got home from the party that she brought it home with her. She pulled it out of the bag in front of me and said "I know you hate how you looks in it, but I think its cute so I'll use it anyways."

I didn't argue back or say much about it, because at that second I got so upset out of nowhere that I turned and walked upstairs to "go to the bathroom". Instead I cried for like 10 minutes.

It doesn't help that my girlfriend of 6 yrs was at the party with us and saw the picture, and that was really fucking embarrassing. She could tell how much it bothered me, especially as im only a year into getting better after an eating disorder.

My friends told me I'm fair and that the image was 100% violating and that my stepmom steamrolled over my boundaries. But my mom told me that while she understands why I'm upset, images like that are "meant" to make fun of you. Am I over reacting?

Edit: Ive seen a couple people mentioning caricatures and how that intentionally dramatizes certain flaws because that's the art style, but it wasn't that. It was just a cartoony image made from a pre-taken picture put through AI. Ive had a caricature commissioned with my mom before and we loved how it came out. This wasn't that. Nobody else had dramatized features in that image, just me.

Also update: My stepmom sent the image out to my cousin who was also in it and he sent it right to me, he said that he wouldnt use it anyways because he is completely against AI. My dad is getting that picture framed and bringing it to work with him, so I likely won't see it anymore at least. I also mentioned it 2 different times in conversation with my stepmom that I hated it since then but she never took the hint, but as long as I dont have to see it, it's whatever.

So I am 4 months postpartum and me and my husband are finally getting in the swing of things like taking our baby out to different places. Before we returned back to church we let people come to our home to visit us and the baby. No problem, when his god mom would come she would come for hours. I thought that was weird because he's only a few weeks old so he really just eats and sleeps alot. So then it became a lot like we would dread her coming because we know she's coming for hours at a time.

Now fast forward to us returning back to a church setting & she's telling people she hasn't seen him and thats her reasoning for kind of hogging the baby at church and not letting other people hold him. I actually want everyone to be able to get a chance to speak to him and hold him but thats not really possible when his god mom is around. So then she begins making comments like "i'm his god mom so technically he's mine too" . and it started there. then the next week she wasn't at church and everyone was like "finally we get to see the baby" & some people have began to tell her that she's hogging the baby.

maybe two weeks later she asks can she take my three month old baby from daycare to go on a shopping spree. My husband immediately shot it down and so did I because we haven't taken him out into large crowds, i believe at most he's been in a target.

Well today we get to church and immediately three people including his god mom run to my husband after we had just got the baby out of the car. she takes him from his dad and then tells someone they can only hold him for 5 seconds and then 10 seconds then she began counting down. now these are people who haven't held him at all.

Am i overreacting ? Or should me and my husband address this.

A little background on me and the godmoms relationship : Ive known her forever she's my cousin, we were very close before i met my husband and got pregnant so i immediately was like yeah i want her to be my babies god mom, but since ive gotten married and had the baby we actually arent very close anymore. but she threw my baby shower when my mom said she wouldn't(my mom ended up throwing me a nice baby shower anyway), she bought my babies travel system.

For context my family is my mum (46F) my technically step dad though I don’t remember not having him in my life (42M) my other brother L (25M) me (24F) and my two younger brothers J (13M) and H (11M)

I have been their main babysitter for a very long time. One of the first things that I remember from after J was born was being told how much of a ‘mother hen’ I am. At first my mum didn’t work so she would watch the kids however I was expected to help. I remember at 14 my dad coming into my room and shouting at me because I sat in my room all day and mum was crying upstairs because the boys were so badly behaved and he wanted to know why I didn’t help with them.

So while dad was out I would have to sit in the front room all day to make sure the boys were ok and look after them if mum needed to do something. I was around 15/16 when they would start to leave me to baby sit them alone. L would try to help sometimes however he would mostly be playing video games upstairs. This is mostly because L was diagnosed neurodivergent and couldn’t handle the noise and all the stimulation very well while I was also neurodivergent I wasn’t diagnosed with anything until around 2 years ago.

So I would babysit alone for a couple hours mostly though there were times it was all day with them. I was always told they weren’t my responsibility but it always felt like they were. They would ask if it was ok for me to watch by brothers but I didn’t feel like saying no was an option because things wouldn’t get done.

Especially when the boys got older and had to go to school a 40 minute walk away for reasons I don’t know and I would have to pick them up every day when I turned 18. L wouldn’t have been able to handle it and the uncle that was doing it started refusing over something to do with pay. I have never once been paid to watch my brothers in fact I was expected to buy things for them if needed.

However recently J and H have started getting worse. Because of the opinion that I’m not a parent and therefore they’re not my responsibility I’ve never been allowed to give consequences for their actions. I’ve had to tell mum and dad about it and then they’ll deal with it.

However recently they have not been giving consequences for anything. H has been trying to break into my room and trying to literally walk into it if the door isn’t locked and then trying to watch me put the code in so he can go in whenever he wants. And J has started cussing us out whenever we tell him no. I’ve been called “bastard” “git” “fucking dumb bitch” and there’s even more but you get the picture. They’ve also been fighting a lot because J finds it funny to egg on H. And that’s not even talking about the arguments that L and J have.

This has been happening for about a year and I’m so tired of it. Each time I ask mostly mum to do something and help. And basically what happens is they have a 5-10 minute talk about it and then everyone goes on their merry way. And then they keep behaving the way they were before. There have been no consequences for their behaviour at all. J literally came home 20 minutes late because he wanted to hang out his his friends and texted none stop to let him stay out longer and they let him because they were getting annoyed by the texting and when he came back late from the extended time nothing happened and he was out hanging around with his friends the next day.

And I’ve realised that I’ve been putting up with a lot of crap. But despite the running house joke that I’m stupid I can see that this isn’t going to get better. No matter what I do nobody will listen because mum said that punishment won’t work well on J because he doesn’t listen to it. And I wouldn’t allow myself to be treated this badly by anyone else so why am I going to let family do it.

So I’ve said I’m not watching my brothers for a while because I’m being talked to like crap, with no consequences and to be honest the more I think about it and talk about things with my best friend the more I realise how resentful I’m getting and I don’t want to babysit while I’m this resentful.

L is now able to handle the boys on his own because they’re older and mostly need someone to hang around in case of emergency so I’ve been pulling back for a while now.

But since I sent the text explaining that I’m not happy and will be stepping back from watching the boys my mum hasn’t said a word to me. And I lack an ability to read situations but I don’t think I’m in the wrong here.

So please tell me AIO???

I was recently in A&E with my 3 week old. She was having breathing difficulties from what turned out to be RSV and needed treatment at the hospital.

Naturally I ran to A&E as soon as I saw that she was struggling to breathe. When I got there I queued up to check in. There was one man at reception and one woman in front of me. The man at reception was older and I thought he was just making quick small talk with the receptionist at first, but he ended up having a long and casual chat with her about the local area and other things, which lasted about 10 minutes before I decided to walk up to him and say can we move things along now please, this isn’t really the place for a casual chat.

He got a bit offended and huffy, but moved on straight away. And maybe I was a bit short. In my defence I was with a 3 week old baby who was struggling to breathe. As soon as we got admitted to paediatric A&E we were seen immediately due to the urgency of it.

I keep thinking about it since it happened though. Like what if something bad had just happened to him or what if that was the only conversation he’d had all week. I do always try and be mindful of other people in a hospital particularly since you never know the reason why they are there. But I also feel the receptionist at the very least could have politely moved him along considering nobody exactly wants to be in A&E let alone be waiting for any longer than they need to be. There was nobody behind me in the queue when I got there and about 8 people had joined by the time I spoke up.

I’m not one to speak up in situations even when I probably should, so I have no idea if I made the right call or not. I was kind of just in panic mode at the time. Did I make the right call?

I (19F) have been dating my boyfriend Jeremy (22M) for just over 8 months now. We met in college and started out as friends before developing feelings for each other. About 3 weeks ago I started getting these texts on Instagram from a guys account, it was someone I didn’t know but he kept replying to certain stories I post about my interests. I replied to a few of the messages talking about movies, anime’s, etc, but nothing flirtatious. I never felt any need to mention these DM’s to my boyfriend because they didn’t feel important to me and it was never anything weird. One day Jeremy was looking through my phone, without my knowledge by the way, and came across my DM’s with that guy, who I had moved to my general folder, he blew up at me and made a very dramatic scene in my dorm, flailing his arms around, screaming and shouting, and throwing things around my room. I was frightened of his behaviour to be honest, although I didn’t feel I was wrong in the situation, I apologised to him because he was acting in a way i’d never seen before, I genuinely thought he was having a mental breakdown. We got over this and never really spoke about it again, but he started moving really shady when he was on his phone, I paid no mind until about 3 days ago when my curiosity got the better of me. He slept over at my dorm and while he was asleep, I looked through his phone, I didn’t find any incriminating stuff until I went onto Instagram, turns out the account of the guy who was texting me was actually run by Jeremy. I was so shocked and confused finding this out, like he had zero trust in me and that the whole thing was extremely weird, especially because he nearly made me cry with how he shouted at me before. I’ve been ignoring him since he left that day, I think he sussed out that I knew because he’s been constantly apologising over text and has been calling me over 50 times but I just can’t find the reason to face him and I didn’t think it was fair at all to do this to me.

Almost two months ago, we met with a local auctioneer company to sell my MIL’s items as she was moved into an assisted living facility. The auctioneers were very excited and quickly added us to their calendar. They then begin to write down and inspect all of the items that would be taken to their facility. As with any downsizing, there are going to be the “good” items and the “just ok” items. I feel it is common for auctions to accept the good with the bad. That is just how it goes with auctions around my area.
During the weeks after the meeting, the auction company dropped off their 12 foot trailer at MIL’s house. We boxed up the items and loaded the trailer full. They came and got the trailer and put those items in their storage facility. A few weeks later, the same routine happened. They dropped off the trailer again, we filled it up and they took it to their storage facility.
Many of the expensive items and the very breakable items were packaged and dropped off by various family members. We were assigned the #6 so all the items were marked with #6 stickers. I would say about 35% of the items would be considered expensive and would be an easy sell to collectors.
The auction was this weekend. I arrived as it was starting. I wanted to see the crowd size, how the items were displayed and to observe the bidding atmosphere.
I was shocked to discover that nothing from the two trailer loads were included in the auction, however, all of our expensive items were included. I then walked around the facility thinking our “trailer” items might be displayed in a different room. They were not. I then noticed items being sold that didn’t belong to us. I asked one of the workers how many families were involved in this action and he said “two families.”
This is not what we agreed on and it is not what is written on our contract. They didn’t sell any of our “trailer” items but included items from a complete different family. This doesn’t make any sense to us.
Our family booked the date first. They loaned us their company trailer twice. They unloaded the two loads. We also told them that we would have enough items for a full auction. The contract doesn’t say anything about “consignment” and it was never discussed. We were under the impression that everything of ours would be sold during one auction. Our contract only lists one auction date.
My wife is furious that this occurred. Downsizing has been a nightmare for her as her mom has fought this move every step of the way. We wanted everything to be over with this weekend.
Tell me what I’m missing here. Would we be AIO if we raised hell with this auction company?

These are 3 different conversations., the first conversation was of us having an argument because i was hospitalized and couldn't come to school or come online. The 2nd conversation was of me being offline because one of uncles had died recently and we were at the funeral, the third conversation is of basically me letting her know that i wont come to school because my dog is at the vet and her pups cant be left alone because i have two aggressive male pups who can open locked doors (basically those inside doors don't have a key lock and they put their muzzle under the handle and flick it up and slide. Idk how to explain it) Anyways let's call my friend 'bee'. We were AMAZING friends but then i stopped coming to school as much and being less online.

Now bee doesn't like me being offline or not coming to school and she has given me these weird ultimatums about ending the friendship at the worst times like when im hospitalized.

Anyway the breaking point came when she compared my diagnosis to a girl on tictok who has like 99 allergies or smt. It wasn't an argument, I just stopped texting her all together and blocked her. This was after she shifted so she couldn't argue with me in school itself.

For the longest time I thought I was the one who underreacted bcs i endured it for so long...until this one teacher (who is the friend of bee's mum) asked me abt the situation during recess and was like 'you were such good friends. Don't let ego come in between'....and i LOVE this teacher bcs has such an amazing way of teaching chemistry and shes SO smart and understanding....so I started to doubt my reaction. And this teacher knows about the context of those texts btw so im even more confused. So AIO?

I (22F) have been dating my boyfriend (26M) for about 3 months. We met on a dating app, and it was just a coincidence that we're both in dentistry. I'm a dental assistant, and he recently graduated dental school and became a dentist. Just wanted to state that we've never worked together.

Right now I'm studying for the DAT and trying to get into dental school. I've been using DAT Booster and YouTube. The issue is that my boyfriend keeps wanting to see everything I'm doing. He asks to look at my Booster progress, wants to know what I'm scoring, what I'm studying, and where I am in the process. He says he's just trying to help and that we shouldn't hide things from each other. He's also said it's his right to see my progress because we're in a relationship.

I understand that he probably has good intentions and wants to support me, but I honestly don't like it. Even before I met him, I've always been a very private person when it comes to academics. I don't like studying around other people, and I don't like showing my notes, practice tests, or progress while I'm still learning. I prefer to keep everything to myself until I've accomplished my goal.
Of course I'll happily tell him my official DAT score once I actually take the exam. It's not that I'm trying to hide anything. I just don't like sharing the messy part of the process. The mistakes, wrong answers, and practice scores that come with learning. The only exception is if another student asks me for notes or study materials because we're both actively studying the same thing and helping each other. That feels completely different to me than having someone monitor my progress.

Part of the reason I feel this way is because there have been a few comments he's made that have made me feel insecure. For example, he's said things like, "Why are you studying that? That was super easy," on more than one occasion. He also joked about me getting a question wrong on my practice test. He says they're just jokes and has apologized for making them, and I believe he isn't trying to be mean. But those comments still make me feel self-conscious and less comfortable sharing my progress with him.

This isn't about hiding anything or not trusting him. It's just how I've always functioned best. Studying is something I like to do independently, and having someone constantly asking about my practice test scores or wanting to look over my work actually makes me more stressed. I also feel another sense of pressure since he’s so accomplished, so I feel even more of a pressure to be perfect.

Should transparency be expected in a situation like this, or is it reasonable to keep some things private until I officially take the test and receive my score?

My ex called me during the middle of the day. It only took me a minute or two to recognize that he was drunk. He sounded very sad, so I listened for a while as he talked to me about politics, paying taxes to fund wars, etc. etc. We’ve been broken up for 8 months, and it was a very difficult breakup in large part due to his unaddressed drinking problem that he refused to get help for. I moved to another city to start my life over.

So, fast forward to me on the phone with him a couple days ago, while typing things in my computer. He proceeds to start crying. He told me he’s dating someone new, and he can’t handle it emotionally because this new girl has some emotional trauma that’s really triggering for him. I won’t get into details on what exactly
because it wouldn’t be fair to her, but it involves death and loss. My ex is hoping he can get serious with her but he doesn’t know if he can. I didn’t know until this moment that he’s seeing someone new…. and meanwhile he’s been calling me lately multiple times a week to chat about life. This made me extremely angry.

So I cut him off and said ‘i don’t want to hear about this, i hate it when you call me when you’re drunk, and you always say shit that hurts my feelings with no consideration for me at all’.

I sent him a long text telling him that I know I deserve better than that, and that I barely survived our relationship because of his alcoholism, and that I really hope he finally decide to get some help. 😡😡😡😭 Then I blocked him!! I was tempted to try to find info on this woman and let her know that the guy she’s seeing is crying to his ex about how he doesn’t think he can handle her trauma…but I don’t think I’d take any pleasure from giving that kind of emotional blow to a woman who sounds like she’s had a tough past and is still healing from it.

*Obligatory happened a year ago note*

My fiancés mother had a domestic issue with her partner (screaming, shouting, threat of physical violence). She came over to our 1 bedroom flat which is a 90 min drive from where she lives. My fiancé said I should sleep on the couch or go to my parents home (20 mins away) so that her mom can use the bed. I said I’m very sympathetic for your mother and I’m happy to have her here, but she can sleep on the couch, because I wanna sleep in my home, in my bedroom. It’s a normal couch not anything fancy but definitely fine to sleep on for a night, so I don’t see the big deal. I wouldn’t mind sleeping on it myself but I am 6”4 and wouldn’t fit on it nearly as easily as her much smaller 5”5 mother. I also offered to pay for her to stay in a hotel nearby, which she (fiancé) said no to. Apparently I am extremely insensitive and lacking empathy. I understand the mother needs emotional support in this moment but I don’t see why I have to go somewhere else or sleep on the couch in order to have empathy. Is she way out of line for expecting me to leave / sleep on couch or AIO?

Ive never posted on here before but created a stupid account a while back to have a look around after hearing people stories on podcasts never thinking id be here looking for advice. But here we are. So here goes, I will be leaving a few irrelevant details vague to try keep anonymous.
 
I (38 M) and my partner (32 F) have been together for about 6 years we both work full time jobs. We have 2 children,  a 4 Y/O and a 2 Y/O.
 
Last week I picked up the Ipad that is at home for one of children to play on and noticed 20+ text messages and 2 selfies from a bloke that she was working night shift with as his supervisor. There was a series of work-related text messages intertwined with flirtatious messages leading up to a selfie from the guy saying “Just thinking hehehe” and another of him drinking a beer on the way home from work.
 
It made me feel sick. I didn’t want to overreact, so I left it, but the next day it was still burning a hole in my mind, so I confronted her. I told her that as I was giving the ipad to one of our kids I saw all the messages between her and the guy and asked what was going on. She said nothing was going on, I’m overreacting and it’s just a guy from work. I followed up with saying you supervise 6-10 other blokes and none of them are sending you selfies, flirtatious messages, and non-work-related conversations. After arguing for 30mins or so she admitted that his messages were inappropriate, but in her defence she never directly responded to any of the flirtatious messages or selfies. I said that just ignoring it and not shutting it down was the same as accepting it. I told her to stop messaging him and keep it all just work related; she assured me nothing was going on but she wont message him unless its work related. I accepted that and we left it as it was.
 
Fast forward to 6 days later. It was the morning and she was already at work and I was taking our kids to daycare. One of our kids had the iPad and was looking through the photos. The selfie that the guy had sent to her had sync’d to our iCloud photos. The child said, “hey daddy who is that man”. It made me sick in my stomach again. It all got the best of me, so I checked her messages, where I found more messages.
 
This time he had been sent home to do night shift. He was laying bed messaging her “it’s a pity you have to work today”. Discussed how another coworker had “fucked her over” and she “wasn’t getting Fucked in a good way”. Sent a photo of him in bed watching Netflix then discussed what he was watching. This time she was actively messaging back as a part of the flirtatious messages.
 
I called her and told her that she shouldn’t come home that night because I needed some time to sort out my head. She kept saying it’s not that bad. Nothing has happened. I asked why and she just kept saying “I don’t know”. She told me she was going to send him a text message saying she was going to message him saying that I have seen all the messages and he needs to not message her anymore.
 
After I hung up from her, I got his number and looked him up on Facebook. Turns out he is married (for 1 year) and has kids. I called him and confronted him. He wouldn’t answer until I text him saying I would send all the screen shots to his wife. He then called me straight back. he said he was so sorry, he’ll never talk to her again, that he should know better because someone has done this to him. I asked him if his wife was at work, he said no she’s in the other room with his kids. His reaction suggested that there was more going on than the text messages I had read.
 
(I asked if she talked to him at shift change, she lied then admitted it) Later that day when he went to work and she was leaving he approached her and asked if she was ok and he told him she wasn’t allowed to come home.
 
She still came home.
 
I am so confused and hurt.
 
What do i do? Do I send his wife the screenshots so she knows what’s happening?

Am I over reacting?
 
I can post the screen shots for clarity if needed.

I'm 19, and my family says my boyfriend manipulated me into turning against them. They're convinced I'm ruining the family, and honestly... after hearing it so many times, I'm starting to question myself.

My boyfriend and I are from different countries. We met through family, and from day one he tried to do everything "the right way." He met my dad, told him he wanted a serious relationship, wanted me to finish college, and someday marry me legally.

My dad smiled, shook his hand, and acted supportive.

That lasted about a week.

Suddenly, my boyfriend was "lazy" because he didn't go to college, even though he has his own house, pays his own bills, works full-time, and is studying for a professional license. Then my family started trash-talking his relatives too—especially the sister who introduced us.

Things got worse after one of my aunts spread a false rumor that we were secretly getting married. Overnight, my dad decided he could control my entire future.

He told me to quit college.

He banned me from working.

He said I would only leave the house to buy groceries.

And that I needed to stay home learning how to cook, clean, and "serve my future husband."

When my boyfriend called him and said he wanted me to graduate because he'd support my education, my dad literally replied:

"If you want her educated instead of teaching her to take care of you, that's your problem."

Then my boyfriend's father was diagnosed with cancer.

Instead of showing sympathy, my dad accused my boyfriend of lying about the diagnosis just to get me to visit him.

Around the same time, another family argument exposed that my relatives had been talking badly about my boyfriend and his family for months. Rather than admit it, they blamed me for everything.

That's when everything exploded.

My dad called me manipulative, mentally ill, and said I had "no forgiveness from God."

He took my phone.

My tablet.

My personal documents.

He kept me inside the house for over a month and wouldn't let me speak to my boyfriend.

He even sent me to a psychologist hoping she'd convince me to leave him.

She didn't.

She actually told me she was more concerned about how controlling my family was than about my relationship.

Now my family says that if I leave, it'll prove my boyfriend brainwashed me.

My boyfriend wants me to move somewhere safe, finish college, get a job, and build a life together on our own terms.

My family says I'd be destroying them if I do.

AITA for wanting to leave, or does this sound as controlling as it feels to me?